07x04 - The Ball Game

[bunniefuu]

Ah...

Hi, ope.

Hi, paw.

How things look
for the big game?

Well, pretty good.
We got a good chance.

What do you hear
from mt. Pilot?

They got a good team,
but we can beat 'em.

I mended your socks and I washed
those knickers as best I could.

Not knickers,
aunt bee.

I know-- it's got
some technical name

like "dugouts"
or something.

I'll be glad
when this is all over.

What's wrong
with kids

playing baseball,
aunt bee?

It's the national pastime.

If we win, we
go to Raleigh

for the state
championships.

I just think
you're overdoing it.

You've been out there
rehearsing

in that hot sun
all week long.

We're practicing,
not rehearsing.

Oh.

Hello?

Oh, hi, goober.

Yeah?

Yeah...

Me?!

No, no.

I don't think...

No, will it...

They did?

Huh.

Well...

Well...

Okay. I see.

All right. Bye.

They want me
to umpire the game tomorrow.

You, paw?

Yeah. Earl Lee gilley
was supposed to call

the balls and strikes,
but he's sick so they picked me.

I think that's
very flattering.

Well, I don't know
if it's a good idea

for the umpire
to have a son on the team.

Mayberry kids
won't mind, paw.

The people of mt. Pilot
will know you'll
be perfectly fair.

After all, you are
the sheriff

and you're head of
the Mayberry good
government league

and you've been in
the church choir
for five years.

I don't think
they could make
a better choice.

Hmm... well... hmm.

Hi, goober!

Howard.

Hey, Floyd.

Good practice
today, boy.

How's the team look?

Aah! Ooh!
Razor sharp.

I was just
tellin' Floyd

I'm gonna be
coverin' the game
for the newspaper.

I thought you wrote
the garden column.

Well, yes, that has
been my beat

but blant and Fuller had
to cover

the fishin' derby
in siler city

so they asked me to write up
the baseball game.

Maybe you ought
to stick close to me

'cause I'll be sayin'
good things

you might want to put
in the paper.

The team would be
better off

if you did a little
less talking

and a little more
coaching.

What's wrong
with my coaching?

Teach them how to
bunt, hit and run.

Well, I do!

Speed! Fleetness of foot--
that's what counts.

Floyd, I coach the team.

I always knew this would
happen-- power mad!

You give a man
a little power

and it goes to his head.

Power mad, that's what
you... see, Howard?

Well, it certainly
is innerestin'

hearin' the different
inside aspects

of the game.

Hi, fellas.

Hi, Andy.

Hey, Andy.

I hear you're
gonna be umpire

at the baseball
game.

Well, I'm not too sure
I'm happy about it.

Oh, you mean
on account of Opie

playin' on the team?

Well, yeah.

Andy, I had a long talk

with the mt. Pilot coach
and the league officials

and we all agreed that you'd be
the perfect man for it.

Right! Honest Andy Taylor.

Never been a blot on that name.

It's as clean as a whistle.

My mother feels you're
an excellent choice, too.

Well, thank your
mother, Howard.

Can't I be
the base umpire

instead of workin'
behind the plate?

Well, no, Andy. Mr. Hendricks's
gonna be on the bases.

He can't call
balls and strikes

'cause he's got a bad leg
and can't squat.

You gotta be a good squatter.

Get a better focus
on the ball.

Just call 'em
as you see 'em, Andy.

We know you'll be
fair to both sides.

That's all anybody
can ask.

Hmm.

You want some of this?

Oh... he looks so cute in
his little outfit, doesn't he?

Mm-hmm.

Get a picture of him.

Oh, okay.

Andy!

Oh, let me get
another one.

Look, uh, it's almost time
for the game to start.

Oh, well, then,
let's get one of Opie.

Opie, come on.

Miss crump wants
to take your picture.

Oh, aunt bee...

Come on, Opie, please.

Now make a nice pose.

There-- with your mitt.

Opie, do everything your father
tells you during the game.

As an umpire,
he can be of great help to you.

Aunt bee, I can't
help him at all!

Nonsense.
What's a father for?

Paw's right, aunt bee.

C'mon, fellas! Hey, ope!

I gotta go.

Well, I don't expect you
to do everything for him

but if he makes a little
mistake, overlook it.

I'm sure he won't
do it again.

Aunt bee, once the game starts,
I don't even have a son

till it's over.

Andy, what an awful thing
to say.

When a father
won't help his own son...

It's-it's time.

You shouldn't be
back here anyway.

Run along.

Uh... all set, Mr. Hendricks?

Goober, Mr. Tyler, let's go!

I'll be right with you, ump!

All right, men, this is it,
the big one.

I don't have to tell you
how much this game means to us--

not just to you, not to me,

but to all of Mayberry.

And I want you
to get in there and fight.

Now, you all remember
the signals.

It's...

Hit, bunt, take.

Okay?
Go get 'em, men!

Come on!

Come on! Go get 'em!

Andy's certainly takin' charge,
isn't he?

A born umpire.

Play ball!

The mt. Pilot comets'

leadoff man, Johnny Adams.

Strike!

Attaboy, ope!

He was very alert,
wasn't he?

Strike!

Full count, and .

The score remains
nothing-to-nothing

at the bottom of the second.

They got their sluggers
comin' up now.

Yeah, this is real exciting.

That is as hard a hit ball
as we've seen in this park.

These mt. Pilot comets have
really exploded this inning.

This has been some contest,
and now we're down to the wire.

The score is - in favor
of the mt. Pilot comets.

The count's -
with Opie Taylor due to bat...

Okay, come on, let's get
something started here!

Hit!

Strike three!
You're out!

Two outs, Opie.
You're our last hope.

We need a run
to tie it up.

Opie, now, I've always
dreamed of coaching
a championship team.

This is as close
I've ever come

so go out there
and hit one...

For the old goober.

The Mayberry giants have only
one more chance, Opie Taylor.

Ball!

Strike!

Strike!

I think it's a homer!

Oh, run, Opie! Run!

You're out!

Oh, no!

You were supposed to help.

I'm sorry! You were out!

Certainly is a good salad.

Isn't it?

Mm-hmm.

Just something I threw together.

I had planned
on a victory luncheon.

Nothing I like better
than a good old salad.

You mind if I have some more?

Certainly.

Opie, if you're
still thinking
about that play

I wish you'd forget it

because believe me,
you were out.

He was safe by a mile.

Can I be excused, paw?

You didn't eat anything.

I'm not hungry.

All right.

All right.

Now, we...

We're just...

All right, we'll just...

We'll just get
this thing settled

once and for all.

And I guess...

I guess the best way
to start is to...

To explain
my position. Okay?

Okay.

Okay, 'cause once you understand
my position thoroughly,

then, well, we'll take a look
at your position.

And, and then we'll compare
the two positions

and see what we
come up with.

Right?
Right.

Right.

Now, uh... I was the umpire.

You with me up to now?

Yeah.

Yeah. Now...

Now, when that play happened,
I was...

I was right on top of it

and you were sliding,
weren't you?

Yes, sir.
Yeah.

Now, all I was doing...

I was looking
right at the plate.

So if... if I was
in the best position to see it

and I made my decision
based on what I saw

well, there's only
one answer, isn't there?

Yes, sir.

Good.

I was safe.

You still tryin' to tell me
I was wrong?

Well, gee, paw --

Opie, it's very bad manners

to disagree
with your father.

Even when he's wrong.

Oh, come on!

How about some gas?

I'll be right with you.

I'm sorry, we're busy.

Come on, goober.
Quit fooling around.

I'm in a hurry.

Fill her up,
will you?

You going to check
the oil and water?

Looks okay to me.

That's service
with a smile.

You want folks
to smile at you,

try mt. Pilot.

They love you
over there.

Hi, Floyd.

How about a haircut?

Got an appointment?

Since when do I need
an appointment?

Since about : this morning.

Don't you think
this has gone far enough?

No appointment, no haircut.

I'll make an appointment.

I'm sorry. I'm all booked up.

Aw, come on, Floyd.

Listen,
if you're in such a hurry,

they got a big barber shop
over in mt. Pilot--

got four chairs, no waiting.

Probably give you one for free.

Hi, fellas.

Wasn't that a good movie,
Andy?

"Yes, it was, Helen."

Oh.

I'm sorry, I was thinking
about something else.

I thought you'd
fallen asleep.

No.

Want me to guess
what you're thinking about?

That'd be easy.

Andy, why don't we
go over to the diner

and get a bite to eat?

Okay.

Floyd, will
you quit harping

on the hit

it's what Casey stengel
would have done.

Well, coaching
didn't lose that game today.

It was a umpire
by the name of Andy Taylor.

Don't mention that name!

I didn't see that play too clear
from where I was sitting.

Take my word
for it, Howard.

He was safe.

When you write
your column

let the people know
that we was robbed.

A chance to
go to Raleigh

right out
the window.

Oh. Hi, Howard.

Hi.

Helen.

Good evening.

Evening, Helen.

Hey, Helen.

Come on, Andy,
let's sit down.

What was that
you were saying

about the game, goober?

Listen,
I'm famished.

Let's split
a sandwich.

There sure is a lot
of people walking around

who need eyeglasses.

Strong ones.

All right!

Now I've had
about all of this

I'm going to take

so let's clear it up
right now.

I didn't want that
umpire's job to start with

but you all insisted
that I'd be fair.

Well, you didn't want
a fair umpire.

You wanted somebody
that would be on your side

and give you
all the breaks.

Let me tell you
something!

You picked
the wrong fella.

And I'll tell you
something else--

if we played that game
over again tomorrow

you'd still have
the wrong fella

because I called it
the way I saw it!

And if you'd act
like adults

instead of a bunch
of sorehead kids

you'd know it!

Come on, Helen.

Huh? Boy. Hah. Boy.

Now he's blaming us.

Well, there's something
you can write about

in your column
tomorrow, Howard.

Yeah.

All right.

The way everybody's acting,
you'd think I'd come out

against the flag
and motherhood.

Are you going to let them
force you

into believing you were wrong?

No.

You don't sound
too sure.

Well...

That was
an awful close play.

You know?
It was.

And now that it's over
and everything,

I just -- I just wonder.

Did I maybe
lean over backwards

because it was Opie?

Andy, look,
it's over and done with.

And you keep on like this,
and you're going to be

counting your fingers
and mumbling to yourself.

Yeah.

I guess I haven't been
too much fun tonight.

Nonsense, you've been
a barrel of laughs!

See how this sounds.

"Although this reporter
was assigned to cover

"today's Mayberry-mt. Pilot
baseball game,

"he must admit, frankly,

"that he has very little
knowledge of baseball.

"However, after witnessing
this game,

"it appears that more important
than the knowledge of baseball

"is a knowledge of people.

"For instance, why does a man
take on a job as umpire

"and expose himself
to all kinds of abuse?

I know why one man
in particular did it."

"His reason was because
he was asked to as a favor.

"He wasn't particularly
anxious to do it

"because his son happened
to be playing on the team

"and he didn't want
to run the risk

of not being
completely impartial."

"It seems to me that
once a man is asked

"to handle
a job like that,

"any decisions he makes,
right or wrong,

"should be accepted

in the spirit of
good sportsmanship."

"If any of you critics
want the job of umpire

"at next year's game,

"let him speak up
loud and clear.

Frankly, I don't think
we'll get too many offers."

Well, I got at least
one fella on my side.

Hi, Andy.

Hey, Andy.

Uh, hi, Floyd, goob.

We just thought
that, uh, uh...

We'd drop around
and, you know...

Just drop around
and say hi.

Yeah, that's it.

We just thought...
Well, you know...

We'd drop around.

Well, that's very nice of you.

There is one
thing, Andy.

You're getting
a little careless

about your patrol car.

Way past due for the
, -mile checkup.

Yeah, I've... I've been meaning
to bring that in

but you know how it is.

I'll tell you what.

I'll take it, and
have it back in an hour.

Okay.

A man should take care

of his personal
appearance, too.

You're getting shaggy
around the ears.

Time for a haircut.

Yeah, I guess...
I guess maybe it is.

You drop over to the shop
as soon as you get a minute

and we'll fix
you up... anytime.

Okay.

Oh, excuse me.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Helen.

Well, sure. Sure.

I'll drop it off on my way home.

We got to
be going, Andy.

Anytime at all, Andy.

Right.

Yeah. Goober and Floyd.

Yeah.

Okay.

Uh... Helen,
can I call you back?

Yeah,
I'll tell you all about it.

Bye.

Hi, ope.

Hi.

Is, um...

Something on your mind?

Unh-unh.

Just thought i'd
drop around and say hi.

Well, i'm... i'm
glad you did, son.

Well, guess I better
be running along.

Okay.

I just came in to say hi.

Hey, these are
good pictures, Helen--

color and everything.

Look at this one.

Oh, that's great!

Opie, here's
one of you.

Isn't that nice?

That's one you took
just before the game.

Uh-huh. Oh!

Oh, let me see.

Let me see.

Oh, yes.
There you are

in your
umpire's costume.

Uniform, aunt bee.

All right.
Uniform.

Look at the expression
on goober's face here.

Yeah.

Hey, I feel
like some ice cream.

Who wants
to go with me?

I do.

Okay. Come on.

You know, there was
one thing good

about that
baseball game--

you got some
wonderful pictures.

Yes, I did.

All that fuss
over that silly game.

I suppose they'll be
discussing for months

whether he was safe
or whether he was out.

Uh... aunt bee?

Hmm?

Can you keep a secret?

I mean from everybody,
even Andy.

Why

well...

Here's a picture
I haven't shown to anybody.

Oh, my!

He wa safe.

You know something, paw?

Chocolate ice cream is best

for just plain
eating ice cream.

But for apple pie,
nothin's better than vanilla.

Oh, that's good.

Hey, look who's comin'.

Hi.

Hi, sheriff.

Come on, you guys,
let's go.

Hey, haven't you heard?

I'm innocent!