07x01 - Opie's Girlfriend

[bunniefuu]

What'd you do last night?

I bowled.

Who'd you bowl with?

With Helen.

How bad did you beat her?

Ahem, well, I, uh...
Wasn't really on my game.

Well, you did beat her,
though, didn't you?

Well, no, not exactly.

What do you mean "not exactly"?

Well, she beat me.

Helen beat you?

:
I'll be dogged.

She really beat you, huh?

She really beat me, okay?

I don't understand it.

A little girl like Helen.

She don't even bowl much.

I'm trying to read the paper.

Andy, you bowl all the time

and I bet Helen don't bowl
more than once a month.

Where are you going?

Home.

What you going to do
when you get home?

Different things.

What kind of things?

Well, I'll probably go in
and sit around, you know.

And I might, I might have
a cup of coffee.

And then we got company coming.

Who?

Well, Helen's coming over
and she's going to bring

her little niece
for a little visit.

What y'all going to do?

Well, I'll tell you, goob.

We'll probably come in, you know

and sit around there
in the living room, you know?

And then Opie'll probably
take the little girl

out in the yard

and they'll play
for a while, you see?

And then after a while

Helen will probably
take her niece home.

And then Opie
and aunt bee and myself

we'll probably eat lunch.

And then I'll just,
you know, fool around.

Then, later on tonight,
Helen and I are going out.

Okay?

Yeah. She really
beat you, huh?

But, paw, it's Saturday.

Opie, I'm surprised at you.

And I understand

miss crump's niece is
a lovely little girl.

That's it... she's a girl.

Well, what's so awful
about playing with a girl

for a while?

Are you going to force me?

Your father's only suggesting.

That's what you said

when you forced me to go
to that school dance.

You were glad afterwards
that you went

because you learned how to dance
while you were there.

That was different, paw.

I already know all about girls.

Well, that's fine.

Then you know on occasion
they can be just fine company.

If I got to play with a girl
on Saturday,

I'd just as soon be in school.

Let me put it to you this way...

In this country...

More particular, in this house...

When we have company,
we entertain them.

Now, I don't care if it's a girl

or a two-headed monster

or a dragon with a long tail,

we entertain them.

Now, miss crump is bringing
her niece over here.

I'm sorry she's a girl,
and I'm sorry it's Saturday,

but we're gonna
entertain them. Okay?

I say okay?

Okay.

And remember, Opie,

miss crump has been
very nice to you.

Well, that must be them.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Good morning, Helen.

Come right in.

Good morning, aunt bee.

Cynthia, this is miss Taylor.

How do you do?

How do you do?

My goodness, aren't you
a pretty little thing?

Well, well.

Oh, hi, Andy.

Cynthia,
this is Mr. Taylor.

How do you do,
Mr. Taylor?

Nice to meet you, young lady.

And this is Opie.

Opie.

Morning, miss crump.

Morning, Opie.

Hmm.

This, uh...

This is Opie.

Opie, this is my niece, Cynthia.

Hi.

Hi.

Well, let's sit down.

Mm-hmm.

Opie, Cynthia comes all the way
from West Virginia.

Isn't that interesting?

Wheeling, isn't it, Cynthia?

Yes.

Mmm.

Lovely weather we're having,
too, hmm?

Aren't we having lovely weather?

As pretty as I've seen it
this time of year.

Just beautiful.

Just beautiful.

Not a cloud in the sky.

Not a cloud in the sky.

Opie, why don't you
take Cynthia out

and play for a while?

There we go.

Aunt Helen said
you were in a class.

Yeah.

She said you're class president.

That's right.

You must be real popular.

Just lucky, I guess.

All my friends voted for me.

Well, if you've got
a lot of friends,

that means you're popular.

Maybe.

Do you want to look around?

I mean, if you want to.

Oh, I'd love to.

Wait 'til you see
all the great places

around here.

It's all right, all right.

What grade are you in,
in school?

Seven-a.
Me, too.

My favorite subject's history.

What's yours?

Lunch.

Hey, do you want to see
a cartwheel?

Sure.

I like to do those.

Well, what I'm really good
at, though, is running.

See that tree down there
by the gas station?

I'll race you to it.
On your Mark, get set, go!

You mean this tree, Opie?

I didn't feel like running fast.

Well, what do you
want to do now, Opie?

I don't feel like
doing anything.

Hey, ope.

Boy, that was some race.

Yeah.

Who's your little lady friend?

Cynthia.

You Helen crump's niece,
ain't you?

That's right.

I knew you was coming.

Hey, you both look
plum tuckered out.

Why don't you go over there

and get yourself a bottle
of pop on the house?

Get your strength back.

Gee, thanks.

Come on, Opie.

Cute little thing.

Hey, do you want to jump
over that hole over there?

Gee, Opie.

I'm not afraid.

Well...
Then neither am I.

Let's go.

Hey, don't jump over
that oil pit!

Take my hand, ope.

Are you all right, Opie?

My foot slipped.

Well, come on over here

and let's get you cleaned up.

Are you sure you're all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I got to go home.

I got things I have to do.

You want to play later on?

I got things to do then, too.

Oh. Well...

Bye.
Bye.

That Cynthia sure is
a cute little girl.

She's okay.

Boy, she sure can run,
jump and everything.

She thinks she's so good.

This old grease is coming off.

Hey, ope...

You know something

that I found out
a long time ago?

What?

Well, anytime I did anything
with a girl

I always made sure
it was something

I could do better
than they could.

Like what?

Well, like lots of things.

Like, uh, drinking
the most water

without taking a breath

or catching flies barehanded

or making friends
with a live skunk.

Just about anything I knew
I was better at than them.

Cynthia!

Yeah?

I'll play with you some more.

I'll meet you in front
of miss crump's in ten minutes.

Okay.

Thanks, goober.

Come here.

Thanks.

You're filthy.
What you been doing?

Playing.

What's your hurry?
Got to get something.

Where's Cynthia?

I'm meeting her right now.

We're going to play some more.

Football?

With a frail little girl
like that?

Just going to be touch.

I'll tell the fellas
to be careful.

Well, you tell...

You tell them
to take it real easy.

It's your responsibility.

So when I go out for that pass,

if she gets in the way,
you just block her out, okay?

Right.

Break.

...

, ,

.

Interference!

That was interference!

Interference!
Interference!

That was not interference.

It was so, wasn't it?

Did she touch you?

It was interference!

Was not, Opie, and you know it!

Interference!

Was not!

You shoved me!

You shoved me first!

You just shove me once more,
Opie Taylor!

Just you try it!

Opie, wash up for lunch.

How did you and little Cynthia
get along?

Andy, did you call Opie?

Mm-hmm.

Well, everything's all ready.

Oh... hey,
ope! Lunch.

I wonder
what he's doing up there.

He came home and he's been
in his room ever since.

Hey, ope!
You coming?

Coming, paw.

Are you planning a trip

to Hollywood or something?

I got something in my eye.

Oh, here, let me...

Oh, it's nothing, aunt bee.

No, Dr. Anderson said

we must be wary
of foreign objects in the eye.

Put down your orange juice.

Put it down.

Let me see.

Opie, you've been fighting.

Hmm, after I've talked
and talked and talked

and talked to you
about fighting.

Who started it?

The other kid?

Kinda.

It doesn't matter
who started it.

Fighting never settled anything.

And in front
of little Cynthia, too.

Was Cynthia there?

Yeah.

Were some of the boys
picking on Cynthia?

Well, you see, paw...

Can I get some more
orange juice?

Yeah, go ahead.

He doesn't want
to talk about it.

Probably because I have
lectured him so much

about fighting.

Doesn't seem to have made
much impression.

Well, in this case

it seems like it was
for a good cause...

Protecting a girl.

I can't just bawl
him out for that.

No, no...

We did tell him
to look out for Cynthia.

That's right, that's right.

Mm-hmm.

You know who I bet it was.

I bet it was that Blake boy.

He's a bully.

Yes, he is.

He's always teasing girls.

And he's... he's
taller than Opie, too.

At least by two inches.

Yeah.

It's... it's
good that Opie

can take care of himself.

Yes, yes.

Opie's got a black eye

but I sure would hate
to see the other boy.

I'm sorry I hit him.

Well, let's forget
about it for now.

I'll see Mr. Taylor
tonight.

I'll explain it to him then.

Why do boys think

they have to be better
at everything than girls?

I don't know, dear.

They're just funny that way.

Well, let's forget about it.

It's just one of those
unfortunate things.

Andy!
I just seen Opie.

Where'd he get that black eye?

Black eye?!
Opie's been in a fight?

Who was it, Andy?
How did it happen?

Opie wouldn't talk.

Well, I couldn't get
too much information

out of him either,

but I kind of pieced
things together.

Who'd he tangle with?

Well, I don't know who,
but it seems,

whoever it was, was picking
on Helen's niece...

You know, little Cynthia?

And Opie stuck up for her
and took her part.

Oh, I like that.

I bet he whomped that kid.

You bet he did, because he
was battling for a cause!

Oh, you've got a fine boy,
there, Andy, a fine boy.

Well, yeah, yeah.

Of course, now,
I talked to him...

I don't believe in fighting.

Oh, no, no.

No.

In a case like this, though,

I guess he had to
Wade right in there.

Yeah.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Billy.

Be with you in a minute, Billy!

I wished I could've
seen it, Andy.

You know, Opie's good
with his Dukes.

And never mind
the comic books, boy.

Never read in the chair.

Gosh, Mr. Lawson.

When you read,
your head swivels.

Come on and sit down, Billy.

I got you, Floyd.

You have not got!

Hey, Billy. Do you know who it
was, Opie had the fight with?

Sure, I was there.

Was it that cosgrove kid?
I hear he's a bully.

The Blake boy?

No, it was miss crump's niece.

He was fighting with Cynthia?

She gave Opie a black eye?!

Yeah, she did.

Rumor!
Just a rumor!

You shouldn't go spreading
rumors around, boy.

It's the truth!

You mean to tell me he
was fighting with Cynthia?

Uh-huh.

And she hit him hard enough
to give him a black eye?

Yeah, she did.

She probably just got in
a lucky punch, Andy.

Yeah! He ought to
demand a rematch.

Fighting with Cynthia.

Well? You want
to tell me about it?

Oh, you heard, huh?

Yeah.

Well, gosh, paw, I was going to

tell you, but...
Well, you and aunt bee

thought it happened
another way, so...

Well, how did it happen?

Well, I was playing
football with Cynthia

and she ran right in front of me

and took a pass away.

It was interference, paw.

Yeah?

Yeah, and I told her it was

and she said it wasn't

and then she gave me a push.

I pushed her back...

She pushed you?

Yeah, she pushed me.

And we were pushing
back and forth

and, all of a sudden,
she hit me in the eye.

Just hit you right in the eye?

Yeah, she gave me
this black eye.

And she pushed you?

Yeah.

Oh.

Just ran right in front
of you and took your pass.

Just as I was going
to catch the ball.

Well, don't worry about it.

Well, did you find out anything?

Cynthia hit him.

Cynthia?

I don't understand.
Why?

She took a pass away from him.

That's hardly a reason...

It was interference.

Oh, come in.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh.

Well, what do you feel
like doing tonight?

We could take a nice walk.

Okay.

Or we could go to a movie.

Okay, fine.

There's a good one playing.

If you want to go
to a movie, fine.

Andy, what's the matter?

Nothing.

Well, something's bothering you.

No, nothing's bothering me.

Oh, listen

I'm sorry about
Opie's black eye.

Oh, well, those things happen.

Is he all right?

Well, he's, uh...
He's got a black eye.

I don't think that's too funny.

I mean, I made him play with her

and she wound up
giving him a black eye.

Well, she shouldn't
have hit him.

No.

Especially when he
couldn't hit her back.

Well, I had a talk with Cynthia

and explained that to her.

You should.

I said I did.

Well, it's just...
It's just not right

for girls to take advantage
of boys like that.

I wish she'd never
caught that pass.

Aw, it was interference.

The whole thing was unfortunate

but I don't think
Opie would have pushed her

if it hadn't been building up
for a long time anyway.

What do you mean, "building up"?

Well, Cynthia can do
a few things better than Opie.

Like what?!

Well, she outran him,
outjumped him

out-cartwheeled him...

Things like that.

When Opie gets older
he'll understand

that now and then
he's going to run into a girl

who can do a few things
better than he can.

Well...

Like the other night
when you and I went bowling

and I beat you?

That didn't upset you.

Well, no, no.

I mean, me... no, no.

I mean... you beat me.

There, you see?

I didn't have my own shoes...

Oh, look at the time, Andy.

If we're going to make a movie

I think we'd better go
right now.

Oh, yeah... well, the way I was

slipping and sliding around
in those rented shoes,

it's no wonder you beat me.

Andy Taylor,
that really did bother you.

What bothered me?

My beating you at bowling.

Well, no, you
beat me at bowling.

So what?
We both know you did it

'cause I didn't have my shoes.

Your voice is getting shrill.

My voice isn't getting shrill.

You're as immature as Opie.

What's Opie got
to do with anything?

The poor young'un's
home with a black eye

'cause I made him
play with your niece.

And what's so immature

about me telling you why
I didn't bowl so good?

Go to the movies?

If you don't mind,
I think I have a headache.

You know, I have, too.

Well, we'll just make it
another time.

Fine. Another time.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Uh, I didn't... uh...

I thought you were going out

with Mr. Taylor,
aunt Helen.

Oh, well, I was, dear,

but Mr. Taylor
and I have headaches.

Oh.

Aunt Helen, I've been
thinking and thinking

and I still don't understand

why boys think they have to be

better at everything
than girls are.

Aunt Helen?

Oh, what, dear?

I still don't understand

why boys think they
have to be better

at everything than girls.

Oh, well, it...
Has something to do

with... male ego.

What's that?

Oh, uh, well, you see,
down through the centuries,

man's been provider
for the family

and protector of women.

I guess he naturally feels
he has to be stronger

and do things better than women.

Oh.

And, you know,
I was just thinking

maybe it's not a bad idea

for us to help them
feel that way.

You mean even when he isn't?

Yes, even when he isn't.

Is that what you do, aunt Helen?

Oh, well, uh...
Not lately, I'm afraid.

But, you know

I think it's something
every woman should think about.

Hi.

Hi.

Do you like to roller

it's okay.

I'm not very good
at roller-skating.

I wish somebody
would teach me how.

You don't have to be
taught to roller-skate.

You just skate.

Not me.

I bet you're a wonderful skater.

I'm pretty good, I guess.

Opie, would you teach me
how to skate?

Sure, I guess so.

Well, what do I do first?

Well, the first thing
you got to remember

is to keep your balance.

You take kind of short steps

until you get the hang of it

and then you start
to kind of swing

your body from side to side

until you get the hang of it.

Before you know it,
you're skating.