05x27 - Aunt Bee's Invisible Beau

[bunniefuu]

Starring Andy Griffith...

With Ronny Howard...

Also starring Don knotts.

Now, let's see
if we have everything.

Handkerchiefs.

One pair of good socks,
two pairs of play socks.

And one good shirt
and two play shirts.

Your dungarees.

And a good pair of trousers
and a tie

in case you go
somewhere special.

Aunt bee, he's just going
to Johnny Paul's overnight.

He'll be back tomorrow.

And on the bottom

we have your underwear,
pajamas, bathrobe,

an extra pair of pajamas,
overshoes, and brush and comb

and toothpaste and toothbrush.

I wonder, have we
forgotten anything?

Well...

Maybe you better pack a razor.

Sounds like he's gonna
be gone a long time.

Better too much than too little.

That must be Johnny
Paul and his father!

There we are.

Hi, I'll be right out!

Can you handle that?

Why, sure, pa.

Okay, now, have a good time.

Oh, I will, pa.

All right, bye.

Bye!
Goodbye, Opie.

Remember, be a good boy.

Remember to say
"thank you" and "please"

and get to bed on time.

I will, aunt bee.

Bye, see you tomorrow.

Bye.

You know, it always
makes me feel a little funny

when he goes off like this

even though it is
just one night.

I know, but you'll have
to get used to it, Andy.

One day he'll get married
and leave home for good.

Think of all the things

you'll have to pack
for him then.

Oh, hello, Helen.

Where's Opie going?

To Johnny Paul's
to spend the night.

How about some coffee, Helen?

Oh, I'd love it.

Oh...
Oh, what a day.

Young'uns gettin' you down?

Any classroom
that's that crowded

is pretty small.

Yeah?

Oh, you know, that...
That Howie pruitt

is turning into a real monster.

Maybe it would help you

to go somewhere tonight, huh?

Hey, what about you?

What about me?
Thank you.

With Opie gone, you're gonna be
sitting around here by yourself.

Well...

Why don't you come
and go with us?

I don't really feel
like going anywhere.

Why don't we spend
the evening here?

Oh, no, I wouldn't hear of it.

You two go out
and have a good time.

We can have a good time
right here.

We'll play scrabble
or something.

Oh, no.

No, it's all settled.

Well, if you'd like
to take potluck

I have the roast beef
from last night

and I can make rum tarts
for dessert.

Ooh, sounds like a wild night.

So, you and Helen and Andy

had a real nice time
last night, huh?

Mm-hmm, it was lovely.

We played scrabble for a while

and then went out on the porch

and we talked awhile.

It was really very pleasant.

Coming!

Oh, good morning.

Morning, ma'am, fine day today.

The usual?

Please.

Well, here are
three dozen eggs...

Very nice ones this week...

A pound of whipped butter
and a pound of salted.

That'll be $ . .

There we are...

One, two...
, exactly.

I wish all my customers
were like you.

You know, she always
has the correct change.

Oh, I almost forgot.

I have a little present
for you this week.

Oh, thank you!

Isn't that sweet of you.

It's an egg timer.

When all the sand goes

from one side to the other

that's three minutes.

'Course, if you like your eggs

less than three minutes

you'll just have to guess.

Three-minute eggs
are just what we eat.

Thank you again,
Mr. Hendricks.

Perfectly welcome.

Good day, ma'am.
Good day.

How have the two of them
been gettin' along?

Hmm?

Andy and Helen.

Oh, fine, fine. Why?

Hmm, no reason, just askin'.

Oh, they've always gotten
along well together.

I wouldn't be surprised

if they made an
announcement pretty soon.

Do you really think so?

What do you mean?

Well, with you here, bee,

and spendin' the evenings
with them

it doesn't give romance

much of a chance to blossom.

Well, Clara...

And with Opie gettin' older

and bein' gone more...
Yes, knowin' Andy

he'll probably feel
a sense of obligation to you.

I don't think Andy...

Now, bee, I went through
exactly this same thing

when I had my boy, Gale,
livin' with me.

He always felt that

he had to stay home with me.

Then, of course,
I met Clark Cooper

and we've been keepin'
regular company ever since.

Five years, isn't it?

Well, it's just that
we both want to be very sure.

Oh.

Well, I must admit,
I do find him attractive.

Yes. Does he still cut the slits
in his shoes?

I really never noticed.

Bee, the point I'm makin'
is this:

It allowed my boy

not to feel an obligation to me.

You see?

Yes.

Well, I can't sit here
and talk all morning.

I've got to get over
to that guild meetin'.

Bye-bye, bee.

Bye, Clara.

Now, Opie, you're sure

they asked you to stay?

Well, well, okay.

If it's all right with them

I guess it's all right with me.

Okay, I'll see you.

Is he stayin' over
another night?

Oh, wait a minute.

They asked him to stay.

Does he have enough clothes?

Aunt bee, if he stays
till he runs out of clothes

he won't ever come home.

Okay, ope.
Listen, be a good boy

and say thank you

to Johnny Paul's
mom and daddy for me.

Bye. Gettin' to be
a real stay-out.

Hey, since Opie's
gonna be gone again tonight

why don't you come and
go with me over to Helen's?

She's havin'
the sunday school class over.

Oh, no, not tonight, Andy.

Thank you anyway.

Oh, well, now, come on.

It's just a sunday school class.

You know everybody.

Helen's goin' to show
some slides.

No, no thank you.

Well, now, that's just silly.

You gonna be sittin' here
by yourself.

Well, that's all right.

Well, why won't you come?

Well, I can't.

Oh, why not?

Well, I have a...Date.

You got a what?

I have a date.

Did, uh...

Did you say you have a date?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I'll be dogged.
You been holdin' out on me.

Who's the fella?

Oh, it's nothing new.

I've been out
with him several times.

When did you go out with him?

Oh, different times.

Well, I'll be dogged.
What's his name?

His name?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
what's his name?

Well, uh...

Oh, now, come on,
you can tell me his name.

It's Orville Hendricks...

The butter-and-egg man
from mount pilot.

No kiddin'!

No kiddin'!

No, no kiddin'.

She told me herself.

So, aunt bee's got a boyfriend.

Yeah.

Isn't that wonderful?

What'd you say his name was,
Hendricks?

Orville Hendricks
from mount pilot.

Oh, local boys weren't
good enough for her.

How'd she meet him?

He delivers butter
and eggs to the house.

Ahh...

He buttered her up
and she egged him on.

Hey, that's funny.

Did you just think of that?

Yeah.

That's funny!

Well, I can't
take any credit for it.

My mind just works that way.

I'm gonna tell
aunt bee that, yeah.

Yeah, that is funny.

He butters her up...

She eggs him on.
She eggs him on.

Yeah.

Well, that's wonderful
news, though.

How old a man is he?

Gee, I don't know.

Hmm, what's he look like?

Well, I don't know.
I've never met him.

Well, how long
they been goin' together?

I don't know...
I guess about...

You guess?!

Andy, this woman is your aunt!

Here she's been goin'
with a guy.

You don't know how old he is.

You don't know
what he looks like.

You don't know how long
they've been goin' together.

You don't know much, do you?

Well, I don't have to know much.

Aunt bee's not a teenager.

I don't have to tell her
when to come in,

what time to go to bed,
and who to go with.

She's a grown woman.
Sure, she's a grown woman.

It just so happens
that grown women

are the most vulnerable.

Do you happen to know
how many con men

are operatin' in this country
right this very minute?

No, I don't.

Well, that just seems to me

that'd be a thing
a sheriff ought to know.

Well, I don't.
Well, take a guess.

I don't know.
How many?

Plenty!

Smart operator could take
every dime she's got.

She doesn't have the kind of money
that would interest a con man

well, why don't you just
let me run a -j on him.

What's a

a character report.

No.

There's nothin' to it.

I just tail him
for a few days...

Observe his habits,
watch him while he's at work,

when's he's at home...
No, no, no...

When he's a lone, when he's with others...
No, no, no...

Keep an eye on him...
No, no, no...

When he's eatin', when he's washin'...
No, no, no...

That way we know
a lot more about him

than we do now.
No.

Now, I'm not gonna have you
standing around

watching a man while he's
eating his breakfast

and taking a bath and
everything, so just forget it.

Suppose he's some kind of a nut.

Suppose he's one of these guys

that starts howlin'
when the moon comes out.

Howlin' when the moon comes out?

Suppose he's a bathtub m*rder*r!

Oh, for heaven's sakes.

The poor man just sells
butter and eggs.

Yeah, well, that's the kind
you gotta watch out for.

That's just the very kind...

Those are your
true schizophreniacs!

Anything wrong, deputy?

Oh, no, no, I just, uh...

I'm just lookin' for a fellow
works here, goober.

Oh, he's in the back
fixing a tire.

Hendricks, huh?

Is that the Hendricks

that delivers butter and eggs

to the Taylor house
here in Mayberry?

That's right, uh,
Saturdays, I think.

Only I don't make that delivery.

Oh, you, uh, work
for Mr. Hendricks, huh?

I guess you could say that.

I hear he's a real nice man.

He's the nicest man I know.

'Course, I might be prejudiced,
he's my father.

I'm only helping out

'cause he's gone away
with my mother.

Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

Hmm!

Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

Boy, oh, boy.

What's happened?
Plenty.

Boy, oh, boy.

Hmm, oh, boy.

Well, you gonna tell me

or are you gonna keep on saying

boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy?

I'm gonna tell you

but before I tell you,
you better sit down.

I am sitting down.

You're standing.

I'm gonna tell you something,
Andy, but before I tell you,

you got to make me a promise.

You got to promise me
that you're gonna stay calm!

That you're not gonna
get excited

and most of all,
you're not gonna get violent!

Well, what in the world
happened?

Now, you got to promise me.
You got to give me your word.

I promise. Now, what happened?

Remember, no excitement,
no v*olence.

Barney, for heaven's sake.

There, you see?
You're gettin' excited.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm calm. I'm calm.
Now, what happened?

You know that boyfriend
of aunt bee's,

the butter

yeah, what about him?

Well, hold onto your seat.

Well, what?!

He's married.

He's what?

You heard me... married.

Spliced. Wedsville.

Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure.

Would I repeat a story like that
if I wasn't sure, Andy?

You know I don't go around
spreading rumors.

You ought to know me
better than that.

Well, where did you hear this?

From what the newspapers
would call

"a very highly reliable source."

Hendricks' own son.

Now, remember
what you promised, and...

You wouldn't get violent
with the man.

I wouldn't blame you if you did.

Barney, there's no way that you
could be mistaken about this.

I mean, you're
absolutely positive?

Positive.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know.

I'm sure aunt bee
doesn't know he's married.

Then I think somebody
ought to tell her, don't you?

Yeah, I expect.

You gonna do something?

Andy, did you ask me
to bake that pie

just so you could
sit there and admire it?

Oh, I'm sorry, aunt bee.

I guess I'm kind of full.

Can I have it, pa?

No, uh...

Uh, ope, aunt bee and me,

we got some personal
business to discuss.

Why don't you run out
and play for a while?

I haven't finished my homework.

A little break will do you good.

Must be something awful good
you're gonna talk about.

Ope, huh...?

Okay, pa.

I thought there was
something troubling you

the minute you came in
this evening.

Well, uh...

You want to sit down, aunt bee?

I'm, uh...I'm not
very good at, uh,

at beating around the bush

so I'll just come
right out with it.

Uh...how much do you know
about, uh, Mr. Hendricks?

What?

The fella you been
going out with,

the butter-and-egg man.

Oh...oh, well, he's in
the butter-and-egg business.

Well, yeah.

And he, uh, delivers
every Saturday morning.

Yeah.

Oh, Andy, don't you think

this is my own
personal business?

Oh, oh, sure, sure, sure it is.

It's just that, uh,
well, I wouldn't, uh...

I wouldn't bring it up

if, if it wasn't...

I didn't think it was
for your own good...

Oh, Andy, I'm old enough
to manage my own life.

I'm over , you know.

Well, don't,
don't get mad at me.

It's just that I heard
some talk around town...

What sort of talk?

Well, you know,
just, um...Gossip.

Oh, some people
can't live without it.

Uh, aunt bee, is, uh...

Is Mr. Hendricks really
a close friend of yours?

Yes, of course he is.

Well, I mean, you've known him

such a short time.

Well, some people get to know
each other in a short time.

He's a real gentleman.

And he's all alone in the world,
and we have a lot in common.

We like the same music
and the same food...

Yes, Mr. Hendricks is
a very close friend of mine.

Very close.

Well, maybe, um...

Maybe you
and Mr. Hendricks

might go out with Helen
and me some evening.

Oh...well, um...

Yes, we'll do that one night.

Butter-and-egg man.

Some butter-and-egg man.

Chicken Coop Casanova,
that's what he is.

Aunt bee, of all people

to be mixed up
in a thing like this.

Yeah, and get a load of
her nephew standing here.

I can't figure you out, Andy.

If aunt bee was my aunt

I wouldn't be
staring out of windows.

I'd get in the car and I'd drive
straight to mount pilot.

I'd get that Hendricks
out in the alley and pow!

I believe you were the one
that made me promise

not to get violent.

You always got an answer,
haven't you?

I think it would be a good idea
to go over to mount pilot

and see this man.
Yeah.

And just tell him
to stop seeing aunt bee.

Or else sock-o!

Yes, ma'am.
I'm very sorry about that.

I'll replace them
and leave you a dozen

of my very best white,
free of charge.

How's that?

Huh, good.

Oh, thank you.

Well, goodbye.

Evan?
Yeah, pa?

Evan, you've just got to stop
driving like a darn fool.

I've had nothing but complaints
about cracked eggs

all week long.

Yeah, pa.

That call there
was from a woman...

Mr. Hendricks?

Yes, sir?

I'm sheriff Taylor
from Mayberry.

This is my deputy, Barney Fife.

Why, it's nice
to meet you, sheriff.

Evan, run, mix some mash.

Well, finally get
to meet you, sheriff.

You're never home
when I make my deliveries.

That's right.

Well, what can I do for you?

I'd like to talk with you.

Why, sure.
What's on your mind?

Uh...uh, Barn,
you, um, um...

Well...

Make yourself comfortable
here, sheriff.

All right. Um...

You're here with a complaint

and I think I know what
that complaint's about.

You do?

Let me just close this door.

My wife, Martha, is out here

and I don't want to upset her.

Little things like this
bother her.

Oh...and you're, uh...
You're not going to tell her.

Oh, I never do.

"Never do"?

You mean it's happened before?

Why, sheriff, I see
you don't know much

about the butter-and-egg
business.

You drive around all day long

from house to house...

Why, it's just bound to
happen every now and again.

Well, Mr. Hendricks,
I'm not too interested

in what happened
the other times.

That's your own personal affair.

What I want to do is
straighten out the present.

Fair enough.

Tell you what I'll do.

Next time I deliver to you

I'm going to leave you

a dozen of my very best
white, free of charge.

You think that will
settle things?

What about my aunt bee?

I'll throw in
a pound of sweet butter.

Don't want to lose
your business.

We talking 'bout the same thing?

Why, you're not the only one

to complain about
cracked eggs, sheriff.

Except most folks just
call up on the telephone.

Cracked eggs?

That's...that's not's
what on your mind?

No.

I'm not in any trouble
with the law, am I, sheriff?

No...

Um...this is kind of uh, uh...

Awkward to say, but there's a...

A rumor going around
that there's, uh...

There's more than egg business
between you and my aunt bee.

What?

Why, there's not a...
Word of truth in that, sheriff.

Not a word of truth.

I scarcely know the lady.

You mean the two of you
never have gone out together?

Never.

How on earth

does a rumor like this
get started?

Why, what if my wife
heard about it, or my kids?

Th...

Sheriff, I hate
to lose your business

but I think the best idea
is for you to get yourself

a new butter-and-egg man.

Um...well, yeah, I guess.

I'm s... I'm sorry
it worked out this way.

Me, too.

Yeah, well...I'm sorry.

That's all right.

Well, what'd he say?
What happened?

It's all settled.
Can we go?

Did he listen to reason?

He listened.

Or did you have to, you know...

Let's go.

Okay, Andy.
Keep it to yourself.

Keep all the good stuff
to yourself.

Oh, hi, Clara.

Hi, Andy.
I've just been visiting bee.

Oh.

A little sweet tea
and spicy talk.

Uh, Andy...

How's Helen?

Uh...fine,
she's just fine.

Should we be expecting
some news from you two?

News about what?

Well, I just thought maybe you
and Helen might, uh...

Make a little announcement soon.

Especially since bee's
found herself a boyfriend.

What does aunt bee having
a boyfriend have to do

with Helen and me
making an announcement?

Well, you know how it is.

I'll bet that
since bee's been dating

you and Helen have had
a lot more time alone

to talk things over
and make plans.

Did aunt bee say that?

Well, I believe it did come up
when we discussed it.

Oh...oh, you discussed it.

Well, I felt that...

I mean, we felt that...

Well, it's always very difficult

when there's
a third person around.

I see, I see.

As I told bee, I'm sure that's
what kept my boy Gale around.

Oh, I understand.

Um...no, no, no announcement.

But it certainly is nice to know
that everybody's so interested.

It certainly is.

We are, Andy, we are.

Well...

Bye-bye.
Bye.

Aunt bee?
Yes?

Come out here,
I want to talk to you.

Andy, I didn't expect you
home this early.

Sit down right here.

I want to ask you something.

Whatever made you think

that you were interfering
with Helen and me?

Why, I haven't
the slightest notion

of what you're talking about.

You don't? Well, I just came
from Mr. Hendricks'.

Oh...

Clara put that idea
in your head, didn't she?

Well...

Because I know it didn't come

from Helen or from me.

Andy, I was just trying to
give you a little more freedom.

Aunt bee, you and Opie
and myself are a family.

Now, maybe someday
Helen will join us

but she and I got plenty
of time to decide that

without you worrying about it.

And I want you to know

that if Helen and I should
ever decide to get married

things are gonna stay
just the way they are.

You're gonna go right on
living with us

because I got to tell you

I wouldn't have it
any other way.

I think I'm gonna cry.

Well, could you
hold it till I finish?

Now, you've always gotten along

pretty well with Helen,
haven't you?

I'm very fond of Helen.

I know she feels the same way.

Now you can cry.

Now, how about the three of us

going out on the town together?

Oh, Andy, I'd love it,
but I really can't.

Why not?

I pledged two pies
and a batch of cookies

to the church bazaar

and I haven't even
started on them yet.

Got enough butter and eggs?

More than enough.

Coming.

Good morning, madam.

Heard you folks were interested

in regular butter
and egg delivery.

Good morning.
Come right in.

Morning.
Morning, morning.

Thurston's my name.
Kind of new in the county.

Just been here
a little over a month,

and I sure could use
a few good customers.

Well, we could use
a good butter-and-egg man.

I hope you and your family
like it here.

Oh, no family.
Just me.

I'm a widower.
Oh?

For how long?

years.

Gets kind of lonesome sometimes,

but you never know what
the future might bring.

That's so true.

Well, is there anything
you need today?

Oh, my, yes.
Now, let me see.

Six dozen
of the large white eggs,

one pound of sweet butter,
two pounds of salt butter,

one quart of heavy cream,
two pints of sour cream,

and one pint of cottage cheese.