05x24 - Guest in the House

[bunniefuu]

Starring Andy Griffith...

With Ronny Howard...

Also starring Don knotts.

Well, where you want it?

Well, now, let's see.

Hurry.

Over there by the wall.

Okay.

No, I don't know...

It's goin' by the wall.

Yeah.

Well, now, I think this room

looks very nice and cheerful.

Yeah.

I want you to be nice

to your cousin Gloria.

I want you to show her
a good time.

Oh...
Now, and I mean it.

But why does she
want to come here?

Andy, the girl's had
a deep disappointment...

A broken engagement.

It'll do her good to get away.

Well, why doesn't she go

to New York or New Orleans
or some place?

She just wants
a change of scenery,

and here she'd be with family.

Well, I don't even know her.

You were at her recital.

Well, she was ten years old.

I was in high school
or something.

I want you to be nice to her,
and that is that.

Anybody home?

Up, uh, upstairs, Helen.

Now, aunt bee, I know the child
has had a disappointment...

Andy, all I have asked you to do

is to make her feel at home.

And another thing...

I don't want you to say anything

about what has happened...
Not one word.

I know, I know.

I don't want you
to say anything.

Hello, Helen!

You're getting
ready for company!

Well, I'm trying to,

but I'm not getting
much cooperation.

Well, Andy, she's your cousin.

She's not my cousin.

Her mother isn't my aunt
or anythin'.

We've been friends for so long,

it's almost like family.

Oh. I'm going down
to do some shopping.

Anything you need?

No, thank you, dear.
I've done my marketing.

Well, I've got other errands.

See you tomorrow night?
You know it.

Anything else
I'm supposed to do?

Oh, Andy, don't be so grumpy.

All I did was

ask him to make her
feel at home.

I don't understand that.

What?

People travel hundreds of miles

to get away from
where they live.

When they get there, everybody
tries to make them feel at home.

I don't understand that.

Philosopher.

Andy, put that chair over there.

Always late.
Yeah.

Never seen it fail.
Ever know a bus to be early?

Oh, about the only time
they're early, I guess,

is when you're late
to catch 'em.

That's a good one, Andy.

Only time they're early is
when you're late to catch 'em.

I'll have to tell Barney
that one.

Say, when does he get back
from Raleigh?

Monday morning, I guess.

Kind of strange...
Barney leaving Mayberry

and your cousin coming in
to Mayberry.

Huh?

That's a lot like life...

Coming and going.

The bus bringeth,
and the bus taketh away.

You know, I don't believe
I ever quite thought of it

just that way, Floyd.

Of course, it is a shame
about your cousin.

Deserted, huh?

No, I didn't say
she was deserted, Floyd.

They just had a lover's quarrel.

Oh.

They never recover
from those things.

Agnes drumhiller didn't.

You remember Agnes?

No.

Talk of the town back in ' .

She was gonna marry
Horace frizzie,

but then he left her
at the altar...

Just like your cousin.

Floyd...

Just sad.
It was real sad.

She took to drink.

Her brother found her under
the kitchen sink one morning,

nipping at the elderberry wine.

Her eyes were all puffy and red.

She was singing and...
Oh, it was terrible, terrible.

Well, I guess some girls
take it harder than others.

Aunt bee claims that Gloria's
the quiet, sensible type.

Ah!

Those are the kind
you got to watch out for.

Quiet one minute,
screaming the next.

Well, there's the bus.

It worked out for Agnes.

Horace finally married her,

and of course, he was sorry
after that.

She got fat on him,
just eating and eating.

She blew up like a balloon...
Real fat.

She even dyed her hair...
Dyed it blond.

It came out all right.

Know why she did it?
No.

Did it just to spite him.

Yeah, she got fat...

Just a fat woman
with orange hair.

Oh, it's tragic.

It's tragic.

I'll see you, Floyd.

Gloria?

Yes?

Oh, I'm, uh, Andy Taylor.

Oh, hello!

Hi.

This is awfully nice of you.

Oh. Well...

Aunt bee's waitin'
for you at home.

I got the squad car over here.

Did you have a nice trip?

Oh, yes. Lovely.

Good, good.

A lot of nice scenery

between here and siler city.

Very nice, yes.

We might as well go, then.

I'll just get your bags.

Thank you.

Here we are.

Oh, it's lovely.

Gloria!

Oh!

It's so good to see you.

Ooh...

It's good to see you,
too, aunt bee.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, well...

Well, let's see how you look.

You look just wonderful.

You know you are
the picture of minnie!

Will you look at that face?

She has minnie's nose.

Minnie's nose.

Aunt bee, I'd like
for Gloria to meet Opie.

Oh, yes, yes, of course.

This is Opie.

This is your cousin Gloria.

Hi.
Hi.

Do you know Tommy Wilson?

He lives in siler city.

He used to live here,
but his family moved.

No, I don't think I do.

We'd better let
Gloria get settled, Opie.

Okay. After you
get settled

you want to play some darts?

Well, I don't know
whether I'd know how.

I could teach you,
couldn't I, paw?

Well, yeah.

Okay. It's a deal.

Opie, you go in the kitchen.

I'll get your lunch.

I'll get the dart board out

so it'll be ready.

I'll, uh, I'll just
take your bags upstairs

in case you wanna unpack.

Well, I'll get lunch.

Okay. Well...

Right here.

I hope you're gonna
enjoy yourself.

I know I will.

Well...

♪ there is a time
for us to wander ♪

♪ When time is young

♪ and so are we

♪ the woods are greener
over yonder ♪

♪ The path is new

♪ the world is free

Andy, can't you play something

with a little more life to it?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I guess I was back home
there for a minute.

Oh, now, Gloria,

you're to forget all about that.

That's why you're here.

I don't think we should
even talk about it.

Better that you know now
than later.

I know.
I know it happened.

And it's over and done with.

I'm sure frank and I
will be very good friends.

Well, that's, uh...
That's a good attitude.

Well, there's no sense
in moping about it.

That's right.

You know, many people
go completely to pieces

when a thing like that happens.

Andy, you remember you
and Catherine harney?

Oh, aunt bee, that
was in high school.

I remember when you
broke up with Catherine.

You know, you were so upset

you didn't eat for a week?

He didn't sleep, either.

And how you followed her
to the prom

and watched her dancing
with verne Harris?

Verne's mother told me

you nearly fell out
of that tree.

Oh.

Aunt bee,
that was a long time ago.

Come on.

All right, all right.

Well, I think I'll go in
and finish the dishes.

I'll give you a hand, aunt bee.

All right.

Did you really climb that tree?

Well, yeah, I guess I did.

Fell out of it, too.
Tore my pants.

Hi.

Oh, hi.
Busy?

No, no, no.

Come on in.

Come on in.

Well, aunt bee keepin' you busy?

Oh, yes, I've been walking around
town breathing the fresh air.

Oh, good.

I'm going to meet her and
we're shopping for supper.

Good, get somethin' good.

Okay.

Uh, I'll just finish
typin' this letter.

And then I'll show you around.

I, uh, started it yesterday.

You want me to do it?
I can type.

Oh, no, no.
That's okay.

Oh, for heaven's sake.
It's gonna take you all day.

Come on, I'll do it.

You're supposed
to be on vacation.

Come on! Come on!
I can do it.

Well...

All right.

It's nothing personal, is it?

Oh, no, no.

I'll get an envelope.

Boy, you sure are fast.

Thanks.

I'm glad to be
getting the practice.

It's good for me.

Glad it's good for somebody.

Finished.

No kiddin'.

Hey, where'd you
learn to do that?

Oh, I picked it up.

Is there anything else
you'd like me to do?

No, thanks.

You got the little initials on.

I'm the secretary.
You're the boss.

Oh, I never been
the boss before.

I bet you'd make a good one.

Yeah?
You're hired.

I accept.

You wanna be
secretary or deputy?

Uh...

I'll let you wear
Barney Fife's uniform.

Oh, well, I'm sorry.

I didn't know you were busy.

Oh, no. No, Helen.

Come on in.

That's all right, Andy.

No, no.

Come in, come in.

Helen, um...

This is Gloria.

Oh, hello, Gloria.

Gloria, this is Helen.

It's nice to meet you.

She was typing.

Oh.

Well...

I've got to go
and meet aunt bee.

I guess I'll see you
tonight, Helen.

Aunt bee said
you were coming for dinner.

Yes, I am.

Good.

Well...
See you then.

Oh... uh, I hope that
letter was all right.

Oh, fine, fine.

Yeah, you saved me,
saved me a lot of time.

Goodbye.
Goodbye.

Well.

She's very pretty, isn't she?

Yeah.
And what a typist.

Boy, fast.

Oh, well, I'm glad
she's "like family."

What?

She's very pretty.

Oh, now, stop that.

What time are you
picking me up tonight?

Oh, well, quarter to seven.

Okay, fine.
I'll be waiting.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

May I have some more
ice cream, aunt bee?

I don't think so, Opie.

Three portions is plenty.

Don't you have some homework?

Yeah, a lot.

Oh, it's not that much.

It's just those four
problems on page seven.

I keep tellin' you life's tough.

Up!

Okay, night, everybody.

Good night.

Good night, Opie.

He sure loves his homework.

You know, I wanted to be
a schoolteacher once.

Oh

Oh, well... hmm.

Hello.

Oh, just a second.

Gloria, it's for you.
Long distance.

Oh, it must be my mother.

It's a man.

Oh.

Well, I, uh...

I don't want to talk to him.

Are you sure?
He's callin' long distance.

I'm sure.

Well...

Uh... I'm sorry.

She's not here right now.

Yeah.

Well, all right.

Good-bye.

He said, he said
he'd call back tomorrow.

Gloria, would you like
some more coffee?

Oh, no, thank you.

Is there anything we can do?

Oh, please don't worry about me.

I'll be fine.

I'll take some coffee.

I'll get it.

You two better get going if you
don't want to miss your movie.

Oh, it is getting late, Andy.

Yeah, yeah, it is.

Well, uh, what are
you gonna do, Gloria?

Oh, don't worry about me.

I'll find something
to keep myself busy.

Oh.

I might take in the second show

if I get restless.

Oh, oh, why don't you
just come and go with us?

Oh, Andy...
I don't want to impose.

You wouldn't be imposin'.

It's just the movies.

You don't mind, do you, Helen?

Oh, no, not at all.

Okay.

Fine.

Good night, Helen.

Thanks for letting me tag along.

Well, um...

Well, I'll just
drive Helen home.

Good night.

Good night.

Well... I think
she feels better.

That's nice.

Yeah. I'm glad
she feels better.

Wonderful.

What's the matter?

Nothing's the matter.

Come on, something's the matter.

Everything's fine,
nothing's the matter.

Something's the matter

and I'm not moving
till I find out.

Don't you know?

No, I don't.

Well, I just don't think

it's a good idea to have

a young, attractive girl along

as a third party

even if she is almost family.

Well, what'd I do?

I just asked her
to come to the movies.

And to dinner tomorrow night.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

Oh, nothing, it'll be
fun having her along

as a third party.

How long is she gonna be here?

Well, you don't have to

get your nose out of joint.

I'll get her a date.

That make you feel better?

I'll get her a date.

Fine.
Got any suggestions?

Goober, get her goober.

That's not fair!

All right, I'll go with goober.

You go with her.

I'll get goober.
I'll get goober.

He's not busy, he never is.

I'll get goober.

Is... that all settled?

That's fine.

Good.

You beat everything,
you know that?

There we are.

This is a cute place, Andy.

Oh, thank you,
I'm glad you like it.

We come out here often.

About once a week, good food.

It's clean, too.

Change the tablecloths
every night.

Shall we order?

Yeah, why not?

Well, uh, what do
you recommend, Andy?

The special's awful good.

Yeah, the special's great.

Well, what is it?

$ . .

Uh, it's, it's, uh,

the pounded steak
dinner, Gloria.

It's, it's very tasty
and tender.

I think that's what I'll have.

Okay.
Specials?

Yeah, I want one.

Specials for
everybody? Okay.

Four specials.

Hey! Hey.

Uh... after supper,

why don't we drive over
to mount pilot?

There's a miniature
golf course over there.

Oh, that sounds like fun.

Oh. Good, we'll
do that, then.

Want to do that, Helen?

Sounds fine.

Could you reach my fork?

Excuse me.

We can't play miniature golf.

It costs a dollar and a half!

That's for two, goober.

Well, what about these dinners?

I ain't no rockefeller.

I ain't got enough money.

I'll pay, I'll pay.

Can I get up?
Blood's rushing to my head.

And then, uh, then later,

if it's not too late

we could take a drive
over to the lake

and have a nice walk.

Oh.

You know where, Helen.

Up through the magnolia trees.

Oh, yes, it's lovely there.

What's the matter now?

It can't cost you
anything to walk.

What am I supposed to do

down by the lake?

Hold her hand or
take her arm or what?

Anything you want to do.

What are you two doing down there?
Gambling?

No.

I didn't know you
had dancing here.

Oh, it's a jukebox.

Nice little floor.

Oh.

What?

Ask her to dance.

What?

Ask her to dance.
Oh.

Uh, you want to dance?

Uh... no.

Thank you.

How about you, Helen?

That's good music.

I could show you
some fancy steps.

Oh, I don't think...

Don't you dance, Andy?

Oh, not so's you can tell it.

See, I usually have
to watch my feet

'cause my feet are
usually on Helen's feet.

Well, that's your trouble.

You're not supposed
to watch your feet.

Oh!
I'll show you.

I thought you didn't
want to dance.

Oh. Well,
teaching is different.

Oh, okay.

And, uh, goober
doesn't need any help.

Come on.

Oh, well...

Hey, look!

She's teaching me how.

Oh, that's good.

Now, will you
will you wait a minute?

I said good night, Andy.
Good night.

Will you be reasonable?

Why? Gloria spent
the whole night

playing up to you,

and I spent the whole night
dancing with goober.

You and Gloria were
having a lovely time.

There was nothing I could do

and goober was your idea.

If you want to go out
with Gloria, fine.

But from now on
go out with her alone.

I won't stand around and watch!

Well...

Oh, Andy, hi.

Oh. Hi.

I was just having some
coffee with aunt bee.

Oh, good.

Thanks again for tonight, Andy.

Well, uh, I'm glad
you had a good time.

I had a lovely evening.

Oh, well, good, I'm glad.

In fact, this whole visit
is just wonderful.

Everybody's been so nice to me...

Aunt bee and Opie, and, and you.

Well...

It's meaning a lot to me.

Good night.

Oh, hello, Andy.
Want a cup of coffee?

No.

Well, then, what's the matter?

Well, Helen just

slammed the door in my face

and Gloria just kissed me

and there's no
reason for either.

Oh... isn't there?

What does that mean?

Gloria's confused right now.

Well, what's that
got to do with me?

Well, you were nice to her.

Perhaps just
a little bit too nice?

I didn't do anything!

No girl likes competition
thrown in her face,

and that's just what you
were doing to Helen.

Well, what do you think
I ought to do now?

I'd get things straightened
out with Helen...

And as for Gloria,

she's still
thinking about frank.

I can tell.

Well, I, uh...

I better call Helen.

Mm-hmm.

I'll just call her up, and...

And tell her what a beast I am.

Mm-hmm. And she'll
agree with you.

Thanks.

Oh, good morning, Helen.

Good morning.

Morning, Gloria.

Good morning.

Helen and I had

a little early errand to run.

Uh, I wonder if you'd mind

stepping out in the living room

just a second?

All right.

Okay.

Hi, Gloria.

Well...

Andy, oh...

I hope you're right.

You took an awful chance
asking frank here.

But I hope it works.

Well, it's awfully quiet
out there.

It worked!
Andy! It worked!

Well... I guess
I'll go out in the backyard

and bring in the laundry.

Bye.
Have a nice trip.

Drive careful.

I got to tell you the truth,
I'm glad it's over.

Things got a little sticky
there for a while, though.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Oh.