01x10 - Long weekend

[bunniefuu]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, running in the house.

Grandpa's here! And Aunt Gloria!

If I leave, can you keep your mouth shut?

Elizabeth, are you hiding your sugar bowl from me?

Gene, I think I have some packets from Howard Johnson's.

No, no.

Daddy, have a saccharine or nothing.

Where is your sugar bowl?

Do you want to wake up with a cold leg like Grandpa Herman?

Diabetics don't live long,
and sometimes they lose their legs.

Grandpa!

Good morning.

Good to see you, Gene.

Don.

This is my friend Gloria.

I heard you might be joining us.

It's good to have another woman around, give Betty a break.

Oh, I live to serve.

Hey, you heard that, right?

I have a witness.

She's a hell of a sport.

Don, will you help me with the suitcase?

We're only going for the weekend.

I can't get it out of the closet.

Honestly, it's unseemly.

I can imagine everyone at the club.

"Was she waiting at the funeral unbuttoning her top button

like for some Sadie Hawkins dance?"

She seems like a perfectly nice lady.

What am I supposed to do with this, fill it with hay?

How far do you want to go with this?

Oh, I'll say you talked me out of it.

She's a vulture.

Her husband was a failure.

When he died, they found out
he'd cheated on his income taxes.

And her kids... Louise never married.

Two more years and she'll be hanging out at funerals, too.

Huntley... he was my brother's age.

He was always "funny."

Birdie, your father was married, what, years?

The man can hardly fix himself a cup of tea,
let alone do laundry.

All he needs is a housekeeper.

A housekeeper goes home at night.

Don.

Let him have it.

And that fake smile.

You've been looking forward to the beach.

Let her cook.

Let your father put some stones by that wall

so we stop getting water underneath the deck.

I guess I won't have to worry about talking to her.

She never stops.

Just get through today.

I'll be there tomorrow afternoon.

We'll go to that place with the lobster rolls.

Just come now.

You hate the way I drive... but my father taught me.

Half the office is cleared out.

It's Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy

Kennedy, Kennedy, Ken-nedy for me

Do you like a man who has some spritz?

A man who's always fair

We'll wager him against the others

And when you compare

It looks like a Maypo ad.

It's incredible.

Happy days are here again.

I'm just wild about Harry.

It's light, it's fun,

it doesn't cloud the mind with, I don't know, issues?

And it's catchy.

It's catchy like it gets in your head

and makes you want to blow your brains out.

The president is a product, don't forget that.

I would like to talk to you for a moment
about dollars and cents.

Your dollars and cents.

Now, my opponents want to increase federal expenditures

as much as $ billion a year.

How will they pay for it?

There are only two ways.

One is to raise your taxes.

Turn it off.

The other...

An ad made by a public relations team.

Message received and forgotten.

We should give this to Franz for some music.

Nixon's campaign song in the key of E.

Ethel, go get the ice pick

That Nixon guy is on TV again

Should have never been this close.

I'd say we could run them again,
but I don't think you want to see them.

Oh, I've seen them.

Which reminds me, you people are not
watching enough television.

It is your job. The shows and the ads.

I was just wondering,

there must be any number of people
harvesting mud on Johnny Kennedy right now.

Have we heard anything?

We hear things. Nothing useful.

He's a womanizer.

That's not going to hurt him.

Women find out about that, it'll push him over the top.

Nixon is still ahead in the polls.

Should have never been this close.

Why do we need to attack when there is a story to tell?

Kennedy: Nouveau riche,

recent immigrant who bought his way into Harvard.

And now he's well-bred? Great.

Nixon is from nothing.

A self-made man, the Abe Lincoln of California,

who was Vice President of the United States

six years after getting out of the Navy.

Kennedy? I see a silver spoon.

Nixon? I see myself.

If we were to run a critical ad, there are obvious benefits.

When you run an ad that's positive,

you're only convincing people
who are already voting for you.

But when you run an ad that's critical,

you get a shot at the people on the fence.

There are a lot of people on the fence.

Gentlemen, whether the Nixon campaign wants it or not,

we have to produce a spot
that aims a Howitzer at Kennedy's balls.

I want to hear ideas.

After the long weekend.

I agree. Let's go down swinging.

If we can switch to a conversation about paying clients,

Menken's is coming in today to sign off on the roll out.

Father and daughter.

I get the feeling old Abe Schmenken
can k*ll this whole thing.

Of course, the checks have cleared already,

but... Don, I want you to go in
and ride bare-back over Paul here.

Done.

And, uh, Don, I want you on your best behavior.

Excuse me?

I know she bothers you.

Miss Holloway, may I?

I really need to get to the bottom of that.

Yes, I would like to get a look at those.

Margaret and Mona are off to Block Island for Labor Day.

Gone for the weekend along with every other wife in town.

We can go anywhere tonight.

We can see a Broadway show,

then sit at any table at The Colony
with our clothes off if we want to.

How about a movie?

Have you seen The Apartment?

I went last week with Mona and Margaret.

I heard Shirley MacLaine is good.

Oh, please.

A white elevator operator?

And a girl at that?

I want to work at that place.

Oh, I bet you do.

The way those men treated that poor girl,

handing her around like a tray of canapes.

She tried to commit su1c1de.

So you saw it, huh?

Ah, Red, that's not how it is.

Look, it was crude.

That's the way pictures are now.

You see that ridiculous Psycho?

Hollywood isn't happy unless things are extreme.

It didn't seem that extreme to me.

Are we actually going to get in a fight over a movie?

You know, Mona had a dream once
where I hit the dog with the car.

She was mad at me all day, and I never hit the dog.

We don't even have a dog.

Why don't I call you later?

Uh, Joannie...

Call me soon, because we can go anywhere.

The new atrium will make the store
brighter and more vibrant.

The aisles will be wider,

spotlighting these new chrome display cases.

Over here will be a new restaurant...

An elegant tea room.

Modern classic signs and champagne linens.

A tea room is nice, but % of my ground floor

is devoted to the restaurant business?

Lunch and Shopping: A day of indulgence.
It's what ladies like.

Yes, I saw that in the chapter here.

It's much longer than the little schedule

that says we have to close our doors
while it's getting nailed together.

Three months of construction,

during which time we build enormous anticipation.

Like a movie premier.

The New Menken's.

You will have a line that first day.

Even if you have to pay people to stand in it.

We'll do whatever it takes.

Mr. Draper, my daughter's presence here

should let you know that I am not against change.

And let us assume that this is the most

amazing idea in retail since "buy one get one free."

I still don't understand

why we have to throw out the baby with the water.

Can't I keep what I have and just build on it?

Well, honestly, the unpleasant truth
is you don't have anything.

Your customers cannot be depended on anymore.

Their lives have changed.

They're prosperous.

Over the years, they've developed new tastes.

They're like your daughter:

Educated, sophisticated.

They know full well what they deserve,
and they're willing to pay for it.

Why would I want to own a store
that I wouldn't want to shop in?

Mr. Menken, I don't know if that's true.

You had no problem abandoning
that second-floor hosiery store

on th Avenue for your present location.

And that's a story you'll be proud
to tell your grandchildren.

The only problem is they won't care.

As much as Grandpa likes that marble palace,

I can promise you, they won't.

They'll look at it and they'll say,

"Grandpa, it must have been hard back in the olden days."

And it was.

Everybody's jumping to forget it.

Excuse me, but this is not some phony story

you people print in your Fourth of July circulars.

My father actually started with nothing,

and he made it into everything we're talking about.

Who here can say that?

I meant no disrespect, sir.

None taken.

This is the plan, Daddy.

As you can see, it wasn't just thrown together.

It does seem very well thought out.

It is.

Pleasure to finally meet you.

I hope you two know what you're doing.

Looks like we both get to keep our jobs
a little while longer.

Don't screw this up.

I think he likes me.

I guarantee you there is nothing about you he likes.

What about you?

Daddy, can we?

This place reminds me of a Czarist Ministry.

No matter what the decision, you don't feel it was yours.

Fortunately, I have no idea what you're talking about.

He's very good. Persuasive.

Yes.

A little... dashing for my taste.

Carol, it's : .

Did we have lunch, because even I can't leave this early.

No, I needed to talk to you.

Why aren't you at work?

Don't tell me you're late again.

Do you need to see Dr. Emerson?

No. Good grief, Joan.

Then what?

You walked blocks in a heat wave.

And I see you didn't take my advice about the dress shields.

You know how Mr. Aldridge has had me reading the slush pile?

Yes, writing the rejection letters.

You told me. It was depressing.

I'm so stupid!

This morning in the submissions meeting,

the editorial director asks why we haven't responded

to this poet from Yale, Marlon Rice.

Mr. Aldridge tells him we never saw it.

The the director asks me, and I cover for Mr. Aldridge.

I said that I had read it and rejected it.

Then they made Mr. Aldridge fire me.

Oh, honey, that's awful.

He was really sorry about it.

- Of course. That SOB.
- I know.

I'm going to have to ask my dad for more money again.

- It's humiliating.
- Stop it.

You shouldn't be embarrassed. There's never enough money.

You always seem to manage.

These men.

We're constantly building them up.

And for what?

Dinner, jewelry.

Who cares?

We need to go out and shake all this gloominess.

All I want to do is sit in the movies and cry.

No movies.

Let's look for some actual bachelors.

Empty their wallets.

I hate Manhattan sometimes.

Don't say that.

This city is everything.

Where's Howdy Dowdy at?

What can I do for you?

I just got off the phone with Brett Rowley at Dr. Scholl's.

Don't tell me they're coming in again
about the exercise sandals.

Did you tell them summer's over?

They're not coming in. Ever.

They're going to Leo Burnett.

What? Why didn't he call me?

Probably because they were disappointed with the creative.

Rowley called it dull and humorless.

- And what did you say?
- What could I say?

I've never lost an account before.

Especially one that was here before I got here.

So you really put up a fight?

He had very strong feelings.

Said some unpleasant things.

Which you don't remember or I'm sure you'd tell me.

The day you sign a client is the day you start losing them.

Are you going to tell Sterling or should I?

Unless you think it can wait until after the weekend.

I'll take care of it.

Were you buzzing me?

My intercom was making a funny sound.

Leave it.

Do you wear Dr. Scholl's inserts?

I thought we all had to.

Take them out.

Get rid of this, please.

We lost Dr. Scholl's.

Where?

Leo Burnett.

Campbell enjoyed telling me
it was something to do with creative.

I thought I should tell you.

Make sure the ink is dry on that raise.

That fat piece of shit.

He's a cigarette ash.

Chicago. What a joke.

Small time.

Sorry, maybe you're from there.

Well, I know I didn't drop the ball on this.

Sales were steady.

It probably didn't help that our billings
crept up for no apparent reason.

Eventually, an accountant is going to read the mail.

If you're trying to cheer me up, it's working.

The day you sign a client is the day you start losing them.

You don't really believe that.

You know what my father used to say?

Being with a client is like being in a marriage.

Sometimes you get into it for the wrong reasons

and eventually, they hit you in the face.

Damn it.

Are we supposed to cry about this?

So we lost an account.

That means we'll just have to cut back.

Let's go fire somebody.

It's Labor Day weekend.

Between now and Monday
we have to fall in love a dozen times.

Betty's at the shore. I'm headed down tomorrow.

What do we work so hard for?

To have enough money to buy fabulous vacations

for our families so we can live it up here.

Give me tonight. You owe me that.

I can use you as bait.

There's a casting call at : .

Double-sided aluminum.

If Freddie Rumsen's brain works

the way I think it works, slow and obvious,

I think we should go down to casting
and see who's on the couch.

Remember, Don, when God closes a door,

he opens a dress.

What do you have there? Precious cargo?

Mr. Rumsen has me trafficking the Belle Jolie pouch.

Aren't you a busy beaver?

Hey, I'm talking to you.

If you want to see the proofs,

you'll have to check with Mr. Cosgrove.

It's his account.

Look at you. Minister of Protocol.

So has Draper talked to Sterling yet?

You'll have to ask him.

I'm asking you.

You should talk to him.

What's wrong with you?

Excuse me?

I'm just trying to do my job
and you're making it very difficult.

Peggy, dear.

I think I understand what this is about.

But you're not being professional right now.

I cannot believe I am in this conversation.

You think this is easy for me?

I don't know.

I don't know if you like me or if you don't like me.

I'm just trying to get along here.

And every time walk by, I wonder,
are you going to be nice to me?

- Or cruel.
- Cruel?

What am I supposed to say?

I'm married.

Yes, I know.

And I heard all about how confusing that can be.

Maybe you need me to lay on your couch
to clear that up for you again?

That's some imagination you've got.

Good thing you're a writer now.

What do you need me for?

It's incredible.

I mean, we're just hanging out in the art department

and you two wander in.

We thought it was casting.

I wish it was.

I'd definitely pick you two.

I mean, you have such an exquisite look.

The bones of your face.

And your sister, my goodness.

You two look very different when you pay attention.

I have an older brother.

My neighbors growing up had a dairy,

and one of the cows gave birth to two calves

that were attached at the back.

Then they cut them apart,

but they always wanted to be together.

Is that what happened to you two?

Do you like Ukrainian food?

Let me ask you something, Draper.

Do any of these men have anything else to do?

Just wanted to make sure the girls were, you know...

Matching?

Exactly.

Well, there you have it, Draper...

double-sided aluminum as envisioned by Sterling Cooper.

Look at you.

Roger Sterling.

Eleanor. Eleanor Ames.

What a great God that made two of you.

Oh, what a sweet thing to say.

Um, Mirabelle.

This is Donald Draper.

He's our creative director here.

What a pleasure to meet you.

Well, honestly...

I think we're going to send everyone else home

and use our authority to say that you two

are the new faces of Cartwright Double-Sided Aluminum.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

I think this calls for a celebration.

Come on upstairs with us.

One drink could be fun.

One last question.

How many birthdays have you had?

.

How about her?

You're coming, aren't you, Don?

Aren't you two a pair of bookends.

What do you say, Draper?

Shall we cast them in bronze and mount them on the credenza?

Oh, my.

Everything he says means something else, too.

It did get warm in here.

They shut the air off at : .

Oh, Rochester, get her an extra ice cube or something.

So... Mirabelle, what's your special talent?

Singing, dancing, baton twirling?

I ride. Mostly dressage.

She has a wall full of blue ribbons back home in Winchester.

Huh. You know, I have a few awards myself.

Look at your skin. It's translucent.

That's "see-through."

Can I touch it?

I don't see why not.

After all, I do work here now.

That tickles.

Soft as a lamb's ear.

Mm, you've got to feel this.

I'm talking to you, Eleanor.

Do you love your sister?

Of course.

Why don't you show her how much?

Give her a kiss.

Right now.

Why do people always ask us that?

My God, because it's a beautiful thing.

Well... I should be heading home.

Wunderbar. Have a great night.

You know what? I think we should go, too.

Oh, come on.

Nobody's going anywhere.

Do you want to dance?

That's nice.

Dance for us.

I don't dance.

Sure you do. Look at that.

I feel like I'm stuck somewhere between Doris Day

in Pillow Talk and Midnight Lace,

when what I need to be is Kim Novak in just about anything.

You're prettier than Kim Novak.

What a rut.

, I am so over you.

Zip?

Shalimar?

Too much?

You never say die, do you?

What's the point?

Oh, Carol, sweetie, it's not that bad.

Tomorrow is another day.

I know.

I'm okay, actually.

Good.

No waterworks. Mascara.

I'm just so happy right now.

Okay, are you on the Gilbey's already?

No. I just love this, you know?

Being with you.

We do know how to have fun, don't we?

Joan...

I love you.

I really do.

You.

That first week in college,

I saw you walking on the commons,

and I thought, "Who is she?"

Then college was over and you came here...

and I followed you.

You needed a roommate.

I moved in.

Just to be near you.

I did everything I could to be near you.

All with the hope

that one day... you would notice me.

Joannie...

just think of me as a boy.

You've had a hard day.

Let's go out and try to forget about it, okay?

Of course.

Good, because I'm starving.

They seem to be having a lot of fun.

Do you have any gum?

No. No, I don't.

Listen, I should get going.

Over to the left there. There ya go.

Don't make me use my spurs on ya.

Easy.

Right over there by the trough.

I really should go.

Eleanor.

I'll be right outside.

Let her go.

Listen... let me call you a car.

I should wait for my sister.

I mean, I've been around the block a few times,

but her...

Now all you're thinking about
is going around the block, huh?

I don't even think I can get out of the driveway.

Please, just wait with me?

I like your office. It's really fancy.

Mirabelle. Love that name.

Listen to that.

I haven't heard Margaret laugh since she was .

Who's Margaret?

My daughter.

Yeah, I think I like Mirabelle better than Margaret.

I wanted to name her Margaux, like the wine.

Lost that battle.

I'm sure she would have hated Margaux
almost as much as she hates Margaret.

Why is she so angry?

You're only a little older than her.

You're not angry.

Don't be sad.

I just wish I could talk to her
without her rolling her eyes.

Of course, she's right.

I have nothing to say to her.

I'm sure that's not so.

Girls love their fathers.

You have such beautiful skin.

My God, I just want to eat it.

I want to suck your blood like Dracula.

Aren't you two the sweetest for walking us up?

You should be roommates.

He seems to be a delightful young man.

Ralph, you don't teach at Fordham also?

No, we were just sitting next to each other at the bar.

And it seemed to be working.

Carol, you know what we need? Ice.

Now where is that gin hiding?

Just so we're clear about what's what...
the redhead is mine.

So, Franklin, you're into language.

Yes, well, it's kind of a hobby of mine.

I do carpentry. I'm building a dry sink.

I love language.

Words and their ways.

Well, this is just bad speech.

I collect it.

There's this Polish janitor in our building.

His name is Stash or Stanislaus.

He's locked me out of my office on more than one occasion.

One time, he described his bride
as "not speaking real good English."

I cherish that gift.

Put that in a book and sell it.

Well, this is a party, isn't it?

I was wondering if I could impose on the professor

for one more teeny favor.

I never say "no" to a beautiful girl.

The light fixture in my room is out.

Could you change it for me?

I'm up to that task.

We don't have a lot of men around here.

Oh, it's not that dark.

Well... what are we going to do?

Whatever you want.

You're married, aren't you?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Yeah, you kiss like a married man.

Your own way, no talking you out of it.

Is that good or bad?

Oh, it's good.

Tell me what to do, and I'll do it.

Maybe it's this office, but... you are selling too hard.

Eleanor! Hello?

Ellie, where are you? Something's wrong!

Your friend... Something's wrong.

I knew I shouldn't have asked him to do it a second time.

Jesus.

I... I feel like there's a t*nk on my chest.

Just call an ambulance, and then leave.

Is he okay?

Leave.

Right there!

Mirabelle...

Oh, Mirabelle.

Mona.

Your wife's name is Mona.

How you doing?

All these years I thought it would be the ulcer.

I did everything they told me.

Drank the cream, ate the butter,

then I get hit with a coronary.

Son of a bitch, it hurts.

Well, you're talking. That's good.

That's not what the doctors think.

Don...

do you believe in energy?

What do you mean?

Like the thing that gives you get up and go?

No.

Like a human energy.

I don't know, a...

A soul?

What do you want to hear?

Jesus.

I've been living the last years like I'm on shore leave.

What the hell is that about?

It's living.

Just like you said.

God.

I wish I was going somewhere.

He's doing great.

Mona.

I love you so much, Mona.

Oh, God, I love you so much.

I know. Sweetheart, I know.

Listen to me, darling.

Margaret is outside.

- She needs to see you.
- No. No. No.

I can't let her see me like this.

Roger...

I'm getting her.

My goodness.

All this from selling toilet paper.

Mr. Cooper, where is everyone?

My roommate just gave me the message.

Out.

It's the middle of the night.

I'm not leaving you here.

You should go.

Thank you.

Suit yourself.

Miss Holloway, Roger Sterling has suffered a heart attack.

What?

He survived it, and is currently being hospitalized.

Now we need to immediately send a telegram

to every one of our clients

assuring them that business will not be interrupted.

Of course.

This is the master client list... names, addresses.

I'll read them out and you compose the telegram, huh?

Carl McElroy.

President, Alpine Real Estate.

It's me, Bets.

Were you sleeping?

Not really.

The kids are in bed with me.

Gloria and my father made such a big deal

about having separate bedrooms.

Listen, Roger had a heart attack.

What?

Don, that's terrible.

Is he going to be okay?

The doctors basically say they don't know.

Mona's with him.

She must be a wreck.

It's good that you're there.

- About tomorrow...
- No, I understand.

Well, what happened?

He was at work.

He just keeled over.

It was awful, actually.

If the kids wouldn't be so heartbroken,

I'd come home now.

I don't want to be here.

You should have seen the two of them in the kitchen tonight.

She was making some pot roast with ketchup

and my father started hovering behind her, watching,

like he used to with my mother.

How can he pretend that she never existed?

I still pick up the phone sometimes to call her.

I don't know, Bets.

I know people say life goes on,

and it does.

But no one tells you that's not a good thing.

Why is that?

I don't know.

Stop thinking about that.

I can't.

I try.

Do you want me to come up there?

No. There's nothing you can do.

Okay. Give Mona my love.

And, Don...

make sure you eat something.

How's he doing?

Not great.

What happened?

I don't know.

Every Republican politician wants you to believe

that Richard Nixon is, quote, experienced.

They even want you to believe that he has actually

been making decisions in the White House.

But listen to the man who should know better:

The President of the United States...

I just wondered if you could give us an example

of a major idea of his that you had adopted
in that role as the decider.

If you give me a week, I might think of one.

I don't remember.

At the same press conference, President Eisenhower said:

No one can make a decision except me.

For real leadership in the ' s,

help elect Senator John F. Kennedy president.

I know it's late. I'm sorry.

I got the telegram.

Let me in.

Are you okay?

No.

You look terrible.

Can I get a drink?

Of course.

Are you happy with the doctors?

I can have my father make a call.

I don't know. He's rich.

They seem to be taking care of him.

Is he okay?

You can tell me. I'm not moving the account.

He's gray and weak.

His skin looks like paper.

I'm sorry.

He's your friend, isn't he?

What's the difference?

You don't want to lose him.

Don, don't.

What good is that going to do?

Is this, like, some solar eclipse?

The end of the world? Just do whatever you want?

- I don't know.
- You do.

You're exhausted.

You need to sleep, that's all.

I just need to sit down.

Sit with me.

Why?

Because I feel like you're looking
right through me over there.

I'm not.

I don't like feeling like this.

No one does.

I remember the first time I was a pall bearer.

I'd seen dead bodies before.

I must have been . My aunt.

I remember thinking...

They're letting me carry the box.

They're letting me be this close to it.

No one is hiding anything from me now.

And I looked over, and I saw all the old people

waiting together by the grave.

I remember thinking, I've...

I've just moved up a notch.

I've never heard you talk that much before.

- Rachel...
- What do you want from me?

You know. I know you do.

You know everything about me.

I don't.

You don't want to do this.

You have a wife. You should go to her.

Jesus, Rachel.

This is it.

This is all there is, and I feel like it's slipping

through my fingers like a handful of sand.

This is it.

This is all there is.

That's just an excuse for bad behavior.

You don't really believe that.

No.

Not unless you tell me you want this.

Yes, please.

Miss Holloway, I know it's none of my business,

but you could do a lot better.

He's just a friend.

That's not what I'm talking about, my dear.

Don't waste your youth on age.

Could you? Lobby.

Do you want one?

No.

You told me your mother died in childbirth.

Mine did, too.

She was a prost*tute.

I don't know what my father paid her,

but when she died, they...

brought me to him and his wife.

And when I was years old, he died.

He was a drunk who got kicked in the face by a horse.

She buried him and took up with some other man, and...

I was raised by those two sorry people.