04x03 - Mr. Monk Stays in Bed

[bunniefuu]

(Julie) Mom, I'm starving.

The pizza's gonna be here in a minute.

Maybe we should call him again.

It's not straight.

Ha! The bubble's right in the middle.

The level's broken.

The level is not broken, Mr. Monk.

It can't be broken. It's a bubble on a stick.

You have two levels?

I use this level to check the other levels.

It's my level-checking level.

How do you know that one's not broken?

That's a good question.

I take my level-checking level to the hardware store twice a year to have it recalibrated.

[doorbell rings]

Hey, we were getting worried.

Sorry. It's a busy night.

That's $12.50.

All right, there you go.

Thank you. Thank you.

Alright.

Come and get it.

Don't make a mess. Remember where we are.

It's cold. I knew it.

I can't be sure.

We might need another level.

Oh, my gosh, he gave me the wrong change.

He gave me a 50!

[laughs] Cool.

No, honey, honey, not cool.

This is gonna come out of his pocket.

This is a lot of money.

I'll be right back.

I don't know.

No.

Oh, wait, wait, wait! Hello!

Excus--oh!

Hi.

Hello?

[knocks on window]

Excuse me.

Here, you gave me the wrong change.

Here, you gave me the wrong--

Aah!

Dead.

[Randy Newman ragtime theme]

* It's a jungle out there

* Disorder and confusion everywhere *

* No one seems to care

* Well, I do

* Hey, who's in charge here?

* It's a jungle out there

* Poison in the very air we breathe *

* You know what's in the water that you drink? *

* Well, I do, and it's a-ma-zing *

* People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time *

* If you paid attention, you'd be worried too *

* You'd better pay attention or this world we love so much *

* Might just k*ll you

* I could be wrong now

* But I don't think so

* 'Cause it's a jungle out there *

* It's a jungle out there *

Hey, come on.

Can I, uh, can I get you anything?

No.

Okay, this'll just take a minute.

Uh, so, you didn't see anything?

No. Did you hear anything?

I mean, anybody yelling or screaming for help?

Yeah, me.

Does it ever get to you?

Seeing people dead?

Yeah, it did for a while. But I got used to it.

That must be awful.

Getting used to it.

You know, it was pretty awful.

But I got used to it.

It's the worst part, you know.

Getting used to it.

Something you never really get used to.

His name was Julio Alvarez.

25 years old.

He was bludgeoned to death with a pipe or cylinder.

Maybe a baseball bat.

Whatever it was, the k*ller took it with him.

Where was he headed?

He had one more delivery on Vinton Street.

How did the k*ller get him to stop?

There are no houses here. No store fronts here.

Yeah, I was wondering the same thing.

Uh, maybe he waved him down?

Or maybe he hid out in the vehicle.

Like, uh, do you remember there was that, um, the carjacking in Mendoc--

What?

What?

[sneezes]

Wipe. Wipe, wipe.

Gee, I'm fresh out.

Wipe-- Monk, I don't have a wipe.

I don't work for you.

Oh, God.

I'm getting a cold.

It was one sneeze. That's nothing.

No! No, no, no.

It's a cold.

It's a cold. I can feel it.

Well, don't panic.

I--I'm not panicking.

Where's the ambulance?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. It's spreading.

It's spreading. Here it comes.

[sniffs] I can feel it.

I can f-- I can feel it.

Whoa, I did not think it was possible for you to get sick.

Well, that's one plucky little microbe.

Yeah, for a germ, you gotta be, like, climbing Mount Everest.

That's not funny. [sneezes]

Marvin, hey.

What's the matter, Captain?

Too busy to answer your phone?

Well, as a matter of fact, I am.

This is what we call a homicide investigation.

Well, something important just came up.

A Superior Court judge is missing.

She was supposed to be at a fundraiser at 6:30.

She never showed up.

[sniffles] 6:30? That's two hours, Marvin.

That's--that's not missing. That's late for dinner.

We're mobilizing the whole department.

We're pulling you and every senior officer.

Wait, what am I supposed to do with him, throw him under a bridge?

[sneezes] Hand him off. I don't really care.

Natalie!

The mayor wants you at City Hall in 20 minutes.

Wait, the mayor asked for me?

He's asking for everybody.

This judge, Jillian Garr, is a close personal friend.

Take your car?

Excuse me, Doctor. Can I talk to you?

Can it wait?

I just found an eyelash. It might belong to the k*ller.

Please. It's very important.

I'll be right with you.

Sir, it really can't wait.

What is it?

Do I feel warm to you?

[Monk groaning]

Oh...ugh. How am I?

Huh! 99.9.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

There you go. An even 100.

You happy?

Julie, don't look. Turn around.

[giggles] I've seen people blow their nose before, Mr. Monk.

[blows loudly]

[groans]

Oh.

[air escaping]

Okay, I'm gonna throw it away.

Outside.

Outside, I know, I know.

[coughs]

Mr. Monk, I bought this for you.

Open it.

[groaning]

Oh.

[Polly Wolly Doodle playing]

It has a musical chip in it.

*

Ah, thanks.

But, uh, I really don't like the rock 'n' roll music.

Mr. Monk, it's not rock 'n' roll.

It's Polly Wolly Doodle.

Ah.

It has a 10-year battery.

*

Oh.

How about I put it over here, so then you can see it?

*

I'm gonna go see if my mom needs something.

*

[music stops]

*

[music continues, muffled]

*

What are you doing?

Oh, nothing.

*

Nothing.

What are you hiding?

I'm not... hiding anything.

*

Were you trying to muffle this?

I was trying to k*ll it.

Mr. Monk, Julie paid for this with her own money.

She's so proud of it.

*

There... you can hardly hear it.

[grunts]

Okay, I want you to get some rest, all right?

Rest is the best medicine.

Oh, okay. Thank you, honey.

I will be right back.

Wait, wait, wait. Wh-what are you doing?

Where are you going?

I'm just gonna run up to police headquarters.

I want to talk to the captain about the man that was k*lled.

Natalie... Natalie...

That wasn't your fault.

I know, Mr. Monk.

But I was the last person to see him alive.

I never really thought about what that means.

You know? But it means something.

It's weird, I... feel kind of responsible.

No, y-y-you can't just... leave me here.

No, you're gonna be okay. Julie will be here.

But what if I have to blow my nose again?

I showed her how to do the bags.

I have my phone.

I will be right back.

Good luck, guys.

*

That's, uh...

Julie, there's a pad in that second drawer.

Can you get the pad and pen?

Write down everything I say.

Is it a letter?

No, it's not exactly a letter.

It's what we grownups call a living will.

Was she dating? Does she have a boyfriend?

No, not that we know of.

Well, find out for sure.

Check her phone records, credit card receipts.

Go back at least 12 months on everything.

I want everybody's best game here.

What's that?

A guy with a grudge.

John Delancey.

He's going through a messy divorce.

Judge Garr ruled against him three weeks ago.

He started screaming at her in court.

They had to restrain him.

Why, he hit her car.

Maybe. There was an incident.

Uh, as she was leaving the courthouse, their cars collided, like a little fender-bender.

He rammed her car. Was it an accident?

We've got three witnesses, but nobody's sure.

All we know is she didn't report it or press charges.

Well, you find this guy. Find him.

Captain.

Natalie, look, it's kind of crazy right now.

Say, how's our patient?

He has the flu.

What's he doing about it?

Complaining. Driving me nuts.

Any news on the Julio Alvarez case?

Um...ask Disher about that.

Lieutenant, the Captain said you could fill me in.

Yeah, well, we don't know much.

She owns a beach house.

We're sending another forensics team down there now.

Not the judge, the other case.

Alvarez. Who?

Julio Alvarez.

You didn't let me finish.

Who-lio Alvarez.

The delivery guy.

Yeah, right.

Jenkins, who caught the pizza thing?

"The pizza thing"? He had a name, Randy.

He might not have been a judge, but he had a name.

Hey, I resent that. I really do.

Every case is important here. We don't play favorites.

I've got the file right here.

Good.

Somewhere.

Sergeant, have you seen the Alvarez file?

Yeah, I just saw it.

Who's this?

That's the victim.

Julio Alvarez.

No. No, this isn't the guy.

Natalie, that's the guy.

There's his employee I.D.

He's dead. He's in the morgue.

That's not the man that came to the door.

Okay, look, you said you only got a glimpse of him last night.

I mean, that's the guy. Is that from the judge's house?

Captain's office.

I gotta go.

That's not the guy.

(Mr. Gorman) Look, I already talked to the cops.

I barely knew the kid.

He started, like, two or three weeks ago.

You didn't put his picture up or flowers?

The boss wanted us to downplay the whole thing.

Said it was bad for business.

Mr. Gorman, I'm not sure the man who came to my house last night was Julio Alvarez.

Sure it was. Who else could it be?

"Natalie Tee-jer"? Teeger.

"Pepperoni, extra cheese"?

Is that you? Yeah.

I put it in the car, the kid drove away.

Was he alone?

Sure he was alone. Hey, Tommy!

Not too much garlic on the calzone!

Okay, okay!

Hey, can I see those? Why?

I'd like to see where he went before he got to my house.

Are you a cop?

No. 'Cause I got work to do.

Well, I'm not a cop, but I work for a detective.

Adrian Monk.

Who?

Adrian Monk. He's a great detective.

He's, like, a genius.

You can ask anybody.

[cell phone rings]

Hold on.

Ah, this is him now.

Stay here. I want him to talk to you.

Hello.

Natalie...

Natalie, it is me, Adrian Monk.

Yes, Mr. Monk. We were just talking about you.

[coughing]

Natalie, you have to come...back.

Mr. Monk, I can't right now.

I'm at the pizzeria, talking to the manager.

It's Ebola.

Excuse me?

I have the Ebola virus.

Mr. Monk, you don't have the Ebola virus.

Oh, I'm pretty sure I do.

I have all the symptoms.

I have the fever and the headache and the massive internal bleeding.

You have massive internal bleeding?

Mmm. I believe I do.

That is my opinion.

No, Mr. Monk, you have the flu.

But I'm glad you called.

I'm talking to Mr. Gorman. He's the manager.

Hold on.

Hello.

I don't know.

I think they're in Atlanta.

What's he talking about?

He's asking about the Center for Disease Control.

[scoffs]

He was a good guy.

Good luck.

Thank you.

Delancey. John Delancey.

We know he's in there. We just talked to his assistant.

You understand this is a private club.

Unless you have a warrant--

Well... how about this?

We wait here, and you go in there and get him.

I can't do that.

Can't or won't?

A little of each.

[pager beeps]

Delancey, table six.

Seating chart, table six.

Over there.

Don't get up.

I'm Leland Stottlemeyer, Homicide.

This is Lieutenant Disher.

We wanna talk to you about Jillian Garr.

Who?

Judge Jillian Garr.

You threatened her in court, and then you rammed her car in a parking lot.

And now she's missing.

What are you talking about?

Captain...

Hang on, Randy.

Hey, you like "tie" food?

Huh? How's your memory now?

[whispering] Captain, this isn't table six.

Chart was upside down.

Um...

I, uh...

I'm sorry.

I, um, I made a mistake.

I thought you were somebody else.

Uh...hey, look.

Uh, here.

Take my-- my tie.

This is a-- it's a $100 tie.

It was a Christmas gift.

Okay?

There.

Get out of here.

We'll talk about this later.

Where is table six?

Okay, uh...

Hold on.

Here's the window.

Oh.

My bad. That was table six.

I was right.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Look, I just gave him my tie.

Plus...I've lost a little bit of authority with him.

No, I don't think so.

No, you don't think so?

Well, I'm sure he'll understand.

Everybody makes mistakes, sir.

[sighs]

Hello again. Um...

This is a little embarrassing, but I'm gonna have to ask for my tie back.

You gave it to me.

Well, look, if you're gonna wear such a nice tie, you gotta wear it straight.

You don't wear a nice tie like that crooked.

Okay now, where were we?

Yeah, we were talking about Jillian Garr.

[gasps for air]

She cost me $2.5 million.

I admit it. I lost my temper.

You rammed her car.

I wasn't trying to hurt anybody.

I was pissed off.

You know, you boys are asking the wrong question here.

You should be asking "Why didn't she press charges?"

Okay, why didn't she press charges?

Because she wasn't alone.

There was a man with her in the car.

I saw them kissing.

When I hit her, he got out and ran.

He didn't want to be seen.

He was married.

She was seeing a married guy.

Good guess.

Now, could you find my waiter?

I'm going to need another plate.

[groaning]

Eat your soup.

Uhhh.

I see letters.

Yeah, it's alphabet soup. Oh.

"A." You don't have to eat it in order.

[groans]

Where's Julie's card?

I put it in the recycle bin.

They just collected it.

Julie is so proud of that card.

What am I supposed to tell her?

Tell her that recycling is important.

And that together, we're saving the planet.

"B."

Can I just talk about the case for one minute please?

So I've been thinking about this.

The man at the door was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses.

Sunglasses at night.

It was like he was trying to hide his face from me.

Do you think it means something?

I don't know. Ahhh...

Ah...false alarm. That's a broken "Q."

Mr. Monk, this is important to me.

All right, so he left the pizzeria at 7:05.

He didn't get here until 7:40, and the pizza was cold, remember?

Cold.

Yeah, that's right. What do you think it means?

Cold.

Do you think it's important?

I'm so cold.

[sighs]

All right, he had two other stops before he got here.

I got the addresses.

I'm gonna retrace his steps.

No, no, no, no. No, Natalie.

Just let the police handle it.

They don't care about this kid.

They can't even remember his name.

And they sure as hell don't care about what I think.

All they care about is this missing judge.

Mr. Monk, I need you to come with me.

I can't.

Yes, you can. You can rally.

Hey, Mitch was a football player.

Players got injured all the time.

He always said, "The great ones play hurt."

Mr. Monk, I can't do this without you.

Just sit in the car. It'll just take an hour.

[stifling coughs]

I can't.

Well, I'm going.

A man was k*lled, and he was here.

I have to do something.

No...no. Natalie, you can't go.

You can't just leave.

Vaporizer one is empty.

I'm almost out of ice.

You have to do your job.

I'm sorry, Mr. Monk. I can't.

I'm too busy doing your job.

They were having a sleepover. We ordered three pizzas.

(Kevin) One Hawaiian, one pepperoni--

(Kyle) And one veggie master.

Is this him?

Are you sure?

Yeah, the police were here.

They had the same picture.

That's definitely him.

We felt terrible about it.

Was he wearing a hat or sunglasses?

No.

[rings doorbell]

Hello. Hi.

Can I help you?

Sorry to bother you.

I hope this isn't a bad time.

Uh, as a matter of fact, I'm sort of in the middle of something.

Why?

What is all this about?

Really sorry to bother you.

I live a few blocks away. Yeah.

I've seen you around.

Yeah...it's about my cat Snowflake.

She's run away.

Your cat. Do you have a picture?

No, see, that's the thing. She's new.

So...thanks anyway. Sorry to bother you.

Hold on.

You know what? I did find a cat.

This morning.

She was scratching my front door.

She's down in the basement.

Come on in. No, it's probably not her.

What color is it? White.

See, it can't be her. Snowflake's black.

Snowflake is black?

Yeah, thanks anyway.

You really should put some ice on that thumb.

He had a what?

(Natalie) A bruise on his thumb.

I remember the guy that delivered Julie's pizza had the same bruise.

Uh-huh.

He tried to get me in his house.

Maybe he likes you. Maybe he finds you attractive.

Stranger things have happened.

No, he wanted to k*ll me. I can tell.

Can't you get a search warrant?

No, not based on this.

I mean, the guy's got a nice house, right?

And he's got some money?

Why would he k*ll a pizza delivery guy?

I don't know.

Even if he did k*ll him, why would he drive across town and deliver Julie's pizza to her?

Doesn't make sense.

Well, can't you at least come down here and talk to him?

Yeah, I can be there in two hours.

No, no! He could be gone by then.

Where's the Captain?

He's working on the case.

Not your case. The other case.

The big case.

She left the courthouse at 4:45.

She was last seen driving north on the 101 by a surveillance camera right here.

She was alone in the car.

Uh, it's not centered.

That one.

Good. Good.

Okay now, her car was found in a parking lot here.

It was unlocked. It had been wiped clean.

There were no prints. No fibers.

I got some photographs here.

Oh no, wait. I can't see.

I can't focus. I can't see.

Okay, you'll look at the pictures later.

Could you turn this?

Thank you. That's good.

What is this thing?

It's a humidifier.

What's that one?

It's a dehumidifier.

Well, don't they cancel each other out?

Exactly.

Um, we know that she was seeing somebody.

He might be married.

You can tell by her credit card records that they went on a trip together in February.

They went to Oakley, Idaho February 10th, for two weeks.

He's not married.

He's not married? No.

How do you know that? [blows nose loudly]

Monk, how do you know he's not married?

Well, they were there on Valentine's Day.

If he was married, he woulda stayed home.

Yep, you're right.

I need a baggie.

They're in the drawer.

Monk, can you focus here please?

Okay, okay, okay. Monk, focus here, would you?

Zip it. Why are--

Zip it.

Why keep it a secret?

I'm gonna need another baggie.

You're gonna put this baggie into another baggie.

This big baggie?

That's the one.

Okay, Monk, stay with me here, okay?

She's a judge.

So maybe he was someone that she was not allowed--

To see socially.

Yes, like a lawyer is someone who might be involved in one of her cases.

A conflict of interest.

Make sure it's airtight.

You gotta zip it.

Natalie usually folds it twice.

First you zip it. Then you fold it.

First you gotta get the air out.

You gotta let the air out first.

Let the air out first.

[bag pops]

Monk, I know you probably can't tell because I'm hiding it so well, but I really don't like this.

[crickets chirping]

[phone rings]

Hello.

(Natalie) Mr. Monk, I found the guy who delivered Julie's pizza.

It's definitely him. His name is Reggie Dennison.

Uh, Natalie, I've been calling you.

I know. I didn't answer.

I knew you'd try to talk me out of this.

Out of what?

I'm in his house.

You're in his house?

He put something in his car. I couldn't make it out.

And then he drove off.

You're in his house?

I didn't know what else to do. No one was listening to me.

Oh Natalie, you're in his house?

Listen.

Get outta there.

Can you pick up some cough drops on your way back?

But get out of there!

Don't forget the cough drops.

I'm not leaving here until I find it.

Find what?

I don't know. I don't know.

I just--I need proof.

Mr. Monk, just please help me.

I don't know what I'm looking for.

The fireplace.

He was burning something.

Hold on. Hold on.

There's one. It's him.

He's with a woman, but I can't make it out.

They're at a hotel. The Oakley Inn.

Whoa, uh, Oakley Inn? Oakley Inn.

Natalie, is--is this guy a lawyer?

Okay now, how did you know that?

[sniffs]

I smell something.

It's bleach.

[sniffs] Whew!

Okay, I'm in the bathroom.

He must have just cleaned it.

It smells like... It smells like your bathroom.

Is--is--is there blood?

Oh God.

Um, no.

That's weird. There's no shower curtain.

Is there a light switch on the wall?

Yes.

Is it on or off?

It's off.

Well, switch it on. Be careful.

Use a wipe or something.

It's blood.

Oh yeah, they always forget the light switch.

[coughing]

[car door closes]

[car alarm beeps]

[whispers] Oh God...

[Monk coughing on phone]

Natalie, here's what happened.

This lawyer, Dennison, was having an affair with Judge Garr.

She came to his house last night.

And at some point they decided to order a pizza.

Somehow things turned ugly.

Maybe they had a fight.

We'll probably never know what it was about.

But he k*lled her.

He k*lled her in that bathroom.

But the delivery guy Julio must have seen the attack or heard something.

And he tried to help her.

He died trying to save her.

Natalie, I'm gonna need those cough drops.

Not the menthol. You--you--you know the kind.

Anyway, Dennison had a problem.

The pizzeria knew Julio's route.

And Dennison knew that if Julio just disappeared, the cops would focus on him.

They'd poke around. They'd ask a lot of questions.

So he needed somebody else to be the last person who saw Julio alive.

He decided to deliver one more pizza as Julio, to divert attention from himself.

You were right, Natalie.

Julio didn't deliver that pizza.

The man who k*lled him did.

He was smart, but he made two mistakes.

Big mistakes.

One, that blood you found on the bathroom light switch.

If that's the judge's blood, and I think it is, he's going to jail for life.

But even without that blood, we can still convict him.

Mistake number two, his fingerprints are all over that pizza box he delivered.

It's at the recycling dump.

I'm sure they can find it if they have to.

They just collected it this morning.

Oh, that's my other line. Hold on.

[whispers] Mr. Monk.

Natalie, I'll call ya back. I'm on the other line.

No, don't...

Where was I?

Oh...

Natalie?

Natalie?

Are you okay?

Say one word to anybody, she's dead.

Understand?

Please. I have a daughter.

Help me find it, maybe you'll see her again.

Find what? The box! The box!

The pizza box with my prints on it.

What was it in? A carton, a bag, or what?

My boss recycled it.

He separates everything into piles exactly 20 inches high.

Then he puts each pile into a green, 10-gallon reinforced double-ply trash bag, which he double-tapes shut.

Then he puts that bag into another bag, which he wraps with twine four times counterclockwise and ties each end twice.

Once he's completed that-- Are you screwing with me?

No, I swear. He's very persnickety.

All right.

He said that it was picked up this morning.

We'll start there.

Look down here.

I don't see it.

You're stalling. I'm not. I swear to God.

I'm gonna give you one more chance to help me find the damn box.

Ahh! [screams]

Ah!

Where's Monk?

Where is he?

Get him up. Where is he?

[sneezes]

(Disher) Get him outta here.

[coughing] Is it all off?

I think so. Yep, good as new.

Is he talking?

He's a lawyer, so, yeah.

He says that you brought him here at knifepoint.

What?

He says that you've been stalking him.

And that you're crazy.

You were in his house.

You can't let him go.

As of this moment, we have no physical evidence to connect that man to either of the murders.

What about the pizza box?

Well, if we could find the pizza box, and it came from Monk's house, and it has his fingerprints on it, well then, it's a slam dunk.

We're not gonna find it.

Forget it. I talked to the manager.

They don't keep any records.

They could've dumped it anywhere.

I mean, look at this place.

There's two more warehouses, Shh. and there's more outside.

What?

Shhh, everybody...

Polly Wolly Doodle.

*

Oh my God. It's Julie's card.

It has a musical chip.

Polly Wolly Doodle.

*

Wait--wait--wait.

Don't open it. Wait for forensics.

You got outta bed?

You took a taxi?

In your bathrobe.

Mitch was right.

The great ones play hurt.

Good morning.

What are you doing?

Just sitting.

Outside?

It's a beautiful day.

I feel fine.

Much better.

Okay.

So I just talked to the Captain.

They found the judge's body.

Reggie Dennison confessed to everything.

He even showed them where the body was.

Really, what are you doing out here?

You hate outside.

Maybe I've changed.

Seriously, what are you doing out here? [scoffs]

[Polly Wolly Doodle All Day]