01x19 - Hook, Line & Screamer

[bunniefuu]

chris: previously on total drama island.

campers had to build their own hot wheels

in a motorcross challenge to race for invincibility.

there were big winners and big-time losers.

and there was even some wicked,

off-the-track motorcross stunts.

but in the end,

it was heather who crossed the finish line

and double-crossed lindsay

by destroying her bike and their alliance,

proving heather really is a backstabbing user

who'll do anything to win.

lindsay ultimately lost the race and the challenge,

which meant goodbye to lindsay and her luxury luggage.

Who will be the next winner?

Who will be the next loser?

Who will renew my contract for next season?

All these mind-probing questions

Revealed on this episode of total drama island.

chorus: ♪ dear mom and dad, i'm doing fine ♪

♪ you guys are on my mind ♪

♪ you asked me what I wanted to be ♪

♪ and now I think the answer is plain to see ♪

♪ I want to be famous ♪

♪ I want to live close to the sun ♪

♪ well pack your bags 'cause I've already won ♪

♪ everything to prove nothing in my way ♪

♪ I'll get there one day ♪

♪ 'cause I want to be famous ♪

♪ nana na'na naana nana nana na nana nana na ♪

♪ I want to be, I want to be, i want to be famous ♪

♪ I want to be, I want to be, i want to be famous ♪

(whistling I want to be famous)

He's coming out of the woods with a big, hacking chainsaw.

That's so cool.

Oh, no.

Psycho k*ller man's going for the car.

Yo, fool couple, stop making out and start the car.

They're gonna be chain saw sushi.

(Laughing)

(Woman screaming)

Great canadian cheese.

Now the car won't start.

Oh, man, I hate scary movies.

Run. The psycho's gonna get you.

(Gasps)

Here comes the blood fest.

(Chainsaw revving)

(Gasps)

Yeah, right on.

Ha ha.

-Gross. -Gross.

Aw, the chain saw psycho's going back to the woods.

He's getting away.

Yah! Good ending.

Izzy loves scary movies. So does owen.

Whoo! Am I ever glad that's over.

I really hate scary movies.

Oh, yeah. What scares you most?

The part where everyone meets a grisly death

Or the psycho k*ller with a hook.

(Screaming)

(All laughing)

Dude, that was not cool.

Ah, come on, deej, for a slasher flick,

It was pretty tame.

Yeah, there was hardly any hacking.

Not like bloodbath , summer camp reign of terror.

No way. That's my favorite movie.

I love when the k*ller jams that guy's hand into the lawn mower.

Or when he pushes the chick off the dock

And then she lands on a propeller blade

That slices her in half.

Both: or when he shoves

That big dude's head inside the wood chipper.

(Gasping)

Aw, looks like gwen and duncan have more in common

Than bad fashion sense.

It's just mindless guts and gore.

Horror movies aren't mindless.

Yeah, they're loaded with psychological trauma.

Look at d.j.

Whatever.

Does anyone have any idea

What our challenge will be this week?

Yeah. Where's the chris-meister?

Hey, yo, chef, where's the fire?

Dude, you forgot this.

Huh?

"Escaped psycho k*ller on the loose.

be on the lookout for a man wearing a hockey mask

With a hooked hand and carrying a chain saw."

Ha, ha.

He's on the loose.

Oh, come on.

They don't expect us to fall for this.

Scary movie followed by hasty exit,

Followed by strategically placed lame prop.

I-i don't know.

He looked pretty spooked.

P-lease.

It's all part of their little stunt to freak us out.

If this was a stunt,

Would chris leave behind his hair gel?

(Gasps)

Whoa. This is for real.

Let me get this straight.

Chris left us for dead, and now we're alone,

While that escaped psycho k*ller

With the chain saw is on the loose?

No, we're alone while that escaped psycho k*ller

With a chain saw and a hook is on the loose.

(Screaming)

-I told you, dude, not funny. -Ugh.

Neither is your chicken-little routine.

Get a grip, bro.

I can't help it.

I feel like I'm being watched.

Duh. It's a reality show.

We're always being watched.

(Laughing)

Heather's right.

And tonight we're watching to see

Who can survive a real-life scary movie

With special guest appearance by the escaped psycho k*ller

With the chain saw and a hook.

Okay, look.

It doesn't matter whether this is real or a challenge.

We need a game plan.

Yeah, yeah, we need a game plan.

You little fright wigs might need a game plan,

But I need a facial.

Are you crazy?

First rule of slasher films, never go off alone.

I might actually listen to you if I were in a movie.

We're being punked. You're so gullible.

Hey, chris, if you're listening,

Next time rent one that takes place at a summer camp.

I tried, but they were all rented.

If you losers want to hang around and play boogeyman,

Go ahead.

But I have got a date with exfoliation.

And the bossy, mean chick seals her fate.

(Making slicing noise)

Wow.

You're really good at sound effects.

I say we go back to camp and talk strategy.

Who's in?

(Wolves howling)

So that's how owen won the hot-dog-a-thon.

Owen ate dogs.

Well, , actually.

The judges wouldn't count the last two

Since they squirted back up owen's nose.

Wicked. Izzy's impressed.

Hey, where're we going?

Izzy's walking in the woods.

Ah, cool.

The woods?

Huh, the woods?

Why does that feel wrong?

Okay, rule number one, do not go off on your own.

Rule number two, if you do go off on your own,

Never go in the woods.

Rule number three, if you do go in the woods,

never, ever, ever make out in the woods,

Or you will die in the woods.

Where's izzy and owen?

Breaking rules one, through three.

Does this feel wrong to you?

No, your head's good and hollow, so it's got a great beat.

And all your yakking is keeping my mind off

The escaped psycho k*ller with the chain saw and a hook.

Great balls of fire.

That's it the psycho k*ller!

Remember how he left the woods to hack apart the couple

Who were making out.

But we're not making out.

Oh, yeah.

-You want to make out? -Yes.

Oh.

(Kissing)

(Inhales sharply)

(Chain saw revving)

(Screaming)

This feels so much longer and flatter

Than how we got here.

That's because horror movies extend the running scenes.

Really?

Why?

It gives them time to film a good wipeout.

Oh! Ow!

Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ow!

Oh! Ow!

Oh, my spine.

Owen, I'm coming!

Oh! Ow!

Hey, owen.

Hi.

Owen's too young to die.

Here, take izzy.

(Chain saw revving)

(Screaming)

Dude, dude.

There's a guy with a hockey mask

And a chain saw and a hook, and he's after us.

And--yeah, yeah, right there, he is right--

(Screaming)

We're freaking dead.

Owen, stop screaming. It's chef.

Oh, cool.

(Laughs)

Great costume.

Wow, you totally got me.

You did. I was freaked out.

-You punked us? -Yes and no.

It was your challenge to watch a scary movie,

Then survive one.

(Laughing)

Did you hear that?

He was punking us.

It was a joke.

Too funny.

Oh, I was all, ahh!

And then you were all, eee!

For the love of peter pumpkin eater,

That was some fun going on.

Am I right?

Oh, you're still on the part

Where owen shoved izzy into the k*ller?

The good news is you're safe.

The bad news is, you lost the challenge.

But now you get to watch our fake psycho terrorize

The rest of the campers.

Fun, huh?

Yes.

Totally awesome tv viewing.

Owen's not getting to second base, is he?

First base?

Didn't think so.

Does he get enough to--

Great work, chef.

But next time try to really work

The hook-hand angle a bit more.

(Chainsaw revving)

Okay, now that I've drawn a chart of all the players,

We can--where is d.j. And geoff?

D.j. Had to take a leak, so he took party boy with him.

Chef: (inhales sharply)

Okay, no matter what, you do not leave,

Not if you hear a psycho, not if you see a psycho,

Not if a psycho is slashing you to bits.

Dude, no worries.

I got your back.

Cue the ice-cream truck.

Ice cream? No way.

Hello.

(Gasps)

(Screaming)

D.j., It's me.

Heather.

(Screaming)

(Gurgling)

(Screaming)

Dude, you're safe.

I am? (Sighs)

It's just chef.

He was gonna scare the bejabbers out of you,

But apparently heather beat him to it.

Bro, did you see her face?

That was some serious ugly going on.

True, but you still bailed

Before chef even got a crack at you.

Speaking of which, you're up, psycho man.

Are you okay? I heard screaming.

I'm fine.

But you might want to check on d.j.

He ran out of here like he saw a ghost.

Can I have my shower in peace, please?

Ooh, I wouldn't do that if i...

Fine, suit yourself.

By the way, that's a great look on you.

Hello, I'm in the shower.

Very funny, duncan.

Now get lost.

I'm serious, dude. Get lost.

(Screaming)

Maybe if you paid attention to the scary movies,

You'd know that a, you never go off alone

And b, you certainly never shower alone.

Where's leshawna?

She went to get some chow.

Doesn't anyone listen to me?

(Gasps)

Now that's what I'm talking about.

chef: (whispering) leshawna, leshawna, leshawna.

brownies, brownies, brownies.

leshawna, leshawna, leshawna.

(Chain saw revving)

Yeah?

I got years in the projects.

Bring it.

Whoo-hoo.

I did not see that coming.

-No way. -Mmm.

And challenging the k*ller, what were you thinking?

But you score major points

For scooping up these delicious munchies.

Chris, can I just leave for five minutes?

This mask is chafing.

Yeah, yeah, let her leave.

Sorry, we got to wait till everyone's slashed.

And it looks like our buddy geoff is up next.

Turn around.

He's right behind you.

Hey, dude, do you see an ice-cream truck?

(Screaming)

By far, the worst blunder yet.

Not to mention bailing on me.

Don't you know you never leave a brother

When he's taking a leak?

Okay, even I know that doesn't sound right.

gwen: where's geoff?

duncan: probably bit it with d.j.

Well, it's no surprise.

Rule number eight, the party guy

Is a prime target for psycho K*llers,

Right after the big, lovable jock.

Now she tells me.

You know what really ticks me off?

That I was trying to help them.

Live and learn, sweetheart.

You really are a pyro, aren't you?

So? I like burning stuff.

Is that what you went to juvie for?

Like I'd tell you why I went to juvie.

Holy crap. I'll get water.

And then there was one.

chef: (whispering): duncan, duncan, duncan.

juvie, juvie, juvie.

You and me, psycho.

(Screaming)

Duncan?

Duncan.

Okay, you know what?

I'm getting a sandwich.

Mother of pearl, he's going to face off

With the escaped psycho k*ller with the chain saw and a hook.

When you got an all-out prizefight,

You wait until the fight is over.

One guy's left standing,

And that's how you know who won.

Oh, this is gonna be fun.

come and get it, goalie boy.

(Chain saw revving)

What? I ran out of stuff to throw.

(Screaming)

Thought you could scare me?

Ha, now let's see who's behind the mask.

I wasn't born yesterday, dude. Please, we watch a scary movie

With an escaped psycho k*ller with a chain saw and a hook,

And here you are running around.

Someone lose this?

Way to go, duncan.

Hey, coolio.

Gwen's taking on the psycho all by herself.

Wait a sec.

If chef's in here then who's in the lodge with gwen?

Holy, lola.

It's the real escaped psycho k*ller

With the chain saw and a hook.

(Screaming)

Gwen!

This could be really, really good for ratings,

But really, really bad for lawsuits.

Okay, I know actors without speaking parts

Don't get paid much, but, seriously, dude,

Invest in a dental plan and some toothpaste.

Hey, you want a sandwich

Before you impale me with your big, scary hook?

Okay.

Look, you can drop the charade, okay?

I know you're an actor with a hook prop,

But frankly, you're not that scary.

Ew, gross.

How did they get it to go all scabby like that?

All: gwen, he's the real escaped psycho k*ller

With a chain saw and a hook.

What?

(Screaming)

Ow!

Oh, that was totally uncalled for.

Man, I am so out of here.

I was treated way better in prison.

Well, it's obvious to everyone that gwen wins invincibility.

And, sadly, it's equally unanimous

That d.j. Walk the dock of shame

Since he was the only one who screamed and bolted

Without the escaped psycho k*ller even being there.

But no hard feelings, dude.

You will be missed.

Aw!

Group hug.

gwen: bye d.j.

psycho k*ller (whispering): total, total, total.

Drama, drama, drama. Island, island.

Total, total, total. Drama, drama, drama.

Island--oh, man.

That really hurts.

I think it's bleeding. Is it bleeding?