02x15 - Mr. Monk Gets Married

[bunniefuu]

What the hell?

"It was our first month out.

"Winter had set in early.

"We just finished off the last of the beef jerky, "and I was about to sh**t one of the mules for supper, "when gully started screaming.

"It was the mother lode, all right.

"Most other '49ers died broke or hungry, "but gully and me... We were set for life.

"Funny thing about gold...

"the metal itself don't change much.

"Heat it up, melt it down, Bury it in the ground, "the gold itself never changes.

It sure changes people, though."

"Old gully's fortune became my fortune.

"I never spent any of it, "except what it cost to build this house.

"Everybody's wondering where I hid the gold.

"The truth is, it's always been right here in this house.

"Where is the gold?

The answer is in the journals."

When did you find this?

A month ago.

It was in that antique 19th century satinwood I was restoring.

It was stuck behind a drawer.

A month ago? Why didn't you say anything?

I mean, we're supposed to be partners.

I didn't want to mention it until I was sure.

Now you're sure? I mean, this is really authentic?

Yes, Dalton. That's what I've been doing on the Internet all month.

That house wasn't easy to find.

This Joshua Skinner really was a prospector.

He discovered a ton of gold in 1849.

Then his partner disappeared.

Skinner died 30 years later.

They never found the gold.

How much is it worth?

Today's market... $6 million, maybe more.

And nobody knows where it is.

It's a mystery. There never was a clue until now.

He k*lled his own partner over some gold.

Can you believe it?

As a matter of fact, I can.

♪ It's a jungle out there

♪ disorder and confusion everywhere ♪

♪ No one seems to care

♪ well, I do

♪ hey, who's in charge here?

♪ It's a jungle out there

♪ poison in the very air we breathe ♪

♪ Do you know what's in the water that you drink? ♪

♪ Well, I do, and it's amazing ♪

♪ People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time ♪

♪ If you paid attention, you'd be worried, too ♪

♪ You better pay attention, or this world we love so much ♪

♪ Might just k*ll you

♪ I could be wrong now

♪ but I don't think so

♪ 'cause it's a jungle out there ♪

Hello. This is Adrian monk.

I'm sorry I missed you.

Please leave a message after you hear the beep.

Perfect.

I have to do it again.

That was great.

I didn't... I didn't pause after "hello."

Yeah, you did. There was a pause.

I don't... I don't think so.

All right, well, let's play it back.

No, no, no, no, no. I can do it. I can do it.

One more time. One more.

Adrian, you're wearing out the digital chip.

What happened to the old machine?

I spilled some coffee on it.

And it broke? No.

Okay. Are you ready?

Okay.

Wait.

Wait.

Hello.

This is Adrian monk. Sorry I missed you.

Please leave a message when you hear the beep.

Perfect.

Aah, I said, "when you hear the beep."

Well, so what?

I should have said, "after you hear the beep."

They might start talking during the beep.

No, they won't. Everybody knows there's a beep, and it doesn't matter anyway, because nobody calls you except for me, right?

Right. [ Telephone rings ]

Wait, we're not ready. We're not ready. We got to...

We're not plugged in. We got to plug...

Will you relax? I'm here. I can answer the phone.

Hello?

Yeah, sure.

Sure, we'll be right down.

Okay, bye.

That was disher.

Is it a case?

No, he said it was personal.

[ Knock on door ]

Thank you for coming.

Shut the door.

Sharona: Have you been drinking?

Yes, I have.

Couldn't think of any other way to get all this scotch into my body.

What's going on?

It's my mom.

Oh, my god. Did something happen?

She got married.

Oh.

Oh. Congratulations.

She calls me last week, and she says she has a date with an antique dealer...

A guy named Dalton padron.

So they go out twice.

He proposed to her on their second date.

Wow.

Four days later... That's yesterday...

They get married at city hall.

Aw, then last night, when they get back to the hotel, he tells her that it's not working.

They need counseling.

They're going to a therapy clinic, monk, for their honeymoon.

Randy, that's not a crime.

No, no, no, no. Something is up.

He's 37 years old.

She's 58. It doesn't make sense.

Plus, I don't even think he's playing for our team.

What do you mean? What team?

He...

He thinks he might be a...

You know, a bachelor.

He's not a bachelor.

He just got married. Haven't you been listening?

Did you check him out?

Yes. He's clean.

Well, maybe he just loves her.

Ugh.

Is... is she rich?

No.

That's the thing.

She doesn't have a nickel.

I send her some money every month, which she spends on bingo and paintings of Jesus.

I know she's not the prettiest woman in the world.

She's my mom, and I love her...

But how could anybody else?

All right.

We'll... we'll... We'll check it out, okay?

Thank you.

I love you guys.

Okay.

You have good taste.

A beauty who knows beauty.

This is an original bergere.

It was actually made in Paris.

I can offer you free delivery, and I'll tell you why... It's really the only way I can make sure I get your address before you leave, so what do you say?

Whoa... d-don't stand on that, please.

That chest is 100 years old.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I was just looking at the map.

Yes, well, it's very rare.

It's a copper-plated engraved map, hand-painted, from 1845.

I don't think so.

Pardon me?

There was no West Virginia until after the civil w*r, unless I'm wrong, which I'm not.

Really. It's a forgery.

You might want to notify the person who bought it.

Yeah, I'll... I'll be sure to do that. Thank you.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Yes, can you tell me about this armoire?

Yeah.

It's, uh, solid teak, it's turn of the century.

Actually, it's 19th century. Sorry.

It's an Indonesian piece. It's solid teak, as you can see.

Yeah, because I'm looking for something like this for my bedroom, but it looks kind of big. How tall is it?

Excuse me. Can I help you?

I-I was in here last... Year.

I spoke to your partner. Is he around?

No, uh, Raymond had some personal problems.

He's disappeared and left me to run this place all by myself, which is really why I don't have time to stand and chat, so unless I can help you with something else...

Oh, no. No, no, no. That's okay.

We're going to think about it.

Okay. Thank you.

Sure.

The lieutenant was right.

This guy is up to something.

How do you know?

There was an application for a visa on his desk.

He's moving to Ecuador in two weeks.

And under "marital status," he wrote in "single."

Who moves to Ecuador?

People who don't want to come back.

It's almost impossible to get extradited.

What do you think he's up to?

I don't know.

That is as good as I can do.

Well, we have to do something.

Randy's falling apart.

I almost feel sorry for him.

What?

I have an idea, but it's a little crazy.

What is it?

Promise you'll think about it?

Okay. What the hell are you talking about?

I have to tell you I think this is a bad idea.

Why are you saying that? Because I thought of it?

No, I'm saying that because I think it's a bad idea.

A lot of marriages are like this bouquet.

Oh, look at these roses.

Aren't they beautiful?

And everyone admires them.

But they'll be dead before you leave here sunday night.

Now let's take a look at this geranium over here.

No, it's not as pretty as the roses, but it'll be around for quite a while.

Why?

Well, because it has...

Roots.

A good marriage has roots.

They dig down deep.

And the deeper we go, the stronger we are.

I love that geranium, and I left it out all last winter.

It can survive anything...

And so can you.

I used to love to garden.

Now we don't even have a windowsill.

Here we go again.

Rachel, we have a perfectly good apartment.

Well, the ants and the cockroaches love it.

We could have been in a house by now.

My brother offered him a great job.

Rachel, I'm not going to work for your brother.

He's allergic to success!

[ Doorbell rings ]

Aha.

Couple number three.

You made it.

Oh, hello, doctor.

I'm... I'm sharona, and this is Adrian.

Of course.

Well, we've been expecting you, Mr. and Mrs. Monk.

Please, come in.

Oh.

Mr. Monk.

Mrs. Monk.

Well, our little family is complete.

Adrian and sharona monk, this is Jeffrey and Rachel sweeney and Dalton and Maria padron.

We're going to be shipmates together on this wonderful voyage.

Gosh, I hope no one gets seasick.

You.

The map expert.

You know each other?

Oh, we were in, uh, Mr. Dalton's antique store.

It... small world.

It certainly is.

Adrian monk.

Do you know my son Randy disher?

No. No.

Does he sell cleaning supplies?

That's what I do.

Mops and brooms... Mostly brooms.

We sell about four brooms for every mop.

It's... it's interesting.

Oh, yeah, yeah, it's... it's spellbinding.

Let's talk about mops and brooms all day.

Ha ha ha.

Oh, well, um...

That... that's why we're here, because all he can talk about is work.

Well, that's not the only reason we're here.

What was that?

Nothing.

Now, I'm going to show the monks around, and while I'm gone, I would like for you to write down why you came and what you hope to accomplish while you're here.

Come on. I'll show you the garden.

Well, I've already had your bags brought upstairs...

And I must say, I've never had a guest with so many suitcases.

What was that all about? I don't drink.

We're undercover. I had to say something.

Great, now we're going to have to spend the whole weekend talking about my drinking problem?

All I said about you was that you were boring.

Why can't you be the lush?

It's too late now. I already said it.

That's our story. We're stuck with it.

No, we're not. Just tell them that you were confused because you were too drunk 'cause you're the lush.

You're the lush. No, you're the lush.

You're the lush.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Let's save it for therapy, huh?

I don't think you guys should miss a single session.

We're in the east wing.

Sharona: Your house is beautiful.

Oh, it's not mine. I wish it was.

I'm leasing it from the estate of this man.

Joshua Skinner... he built this house 150 years ago.

He's one of the few prospectors in the great gold rush to actually strike it rich.

That's an unusual desk.

Yeah, I suppose it is.

He and his partner, a fellow named gully Watson, found the gold together back in the winter of '49.

Gully died two weeks later.

He was stung by a bee and had an allergic reaction.

He was stung by a bee in the winter?

Well, according to Joshua Skinner.

You can read all about it in the library.

He spent the last 15 years of his life writing his memoirs.

Although I tried reading them. They were, uh...

Wow.

Mostly gibberish.

Dalton.

What are you doing here?

I thought you were finishing your statement.

Yeah, I-I finished mine.

I was just, uh, looking around.

I'm sort of a history nut.

These are fascinating. He's a wonderful writer.

"June 12, 1856... Raining all morning.

"I had beef jerky for breakfast.

"There's a cloud in the sky that resembles president Pierce.

"This chair is squeaking. Something smells good.

"I love smoking tobaccy.

I just sneezed."

Not every entry was a masterpiece.

He filled 947 volumes.

I suspect he had a psychological disorder that compelled him to keep writing.

This guy needed an editor.

He needed a straitjacket.

It's nice.

Mm-hmm.

Where are you going to sleep?

That is...

Which side should I take, darling?

Why don't you just take your usual side, darling?

Well, that's what I'll do, then, darling.

I'll take my... I'll take my usual side.

What are you doing?!

Don't touch that. I'll do that.

Are you two okay?

Oh, yeah, we're fine.

We're... we're well. Thank you.

Okay. Well, I'll let you settle in, and, uh, I'll see you when you come downstairs.

Thank you.

You bet.

This ring is too small. Where'd you get it?

It's the only one I could find. Don't lose it.

There was something strange about that picture downstairs.

The prospector sitting at his desk...

I've seen that desk before in Dalton's store.

The prospector's desk was in Dalton's store?

What does that mean?

It means that Dalton is not here by accident, which means that disher is right.

Dalton is up to something.

I can't take this.

Where are you going? Wait, wait, what are you...

What are you doing? What...

I can't get it off my finger. I need some soap.

This is my bathroom.

What am I supposed to use?

There's another bathroom downstairs.

Well, how is that going to look?

We're supposed to be married.

Just hold it in until later, and then sneak downstairs.

Did you just tell me to hold it in?

Hold it in, please.

You know what? You know what?

I really hate being your wife.

I hate it.

I mean, after only 45 minutes, it's worse than my first marriage.

Be careful. Here.

Take it back. Take it back. I want a divorce.

Mm.

Looks like we've got our work cut out for us, huh?

I, uh, forgot to leave your schedule.

Thank... thanks.

Oh.

Who's this?

Uh, that's my first wife.

She died six years ago.

Six years ago?

Oh, Adrian, I think obsessing over your late wife is the root cause of your problem, and if sharona's drinking, maybe this is the reason, huh?

Doctor, doctor, doctor, it's... it's okay.

It's very important to him, and I really don't mind.

She really doesn't mind.

We're moving forward this weekend, Adrian, not backwards.

It's time to let go.

I'm going to dedicate this weekend to helping you forget the past.

Are you going to stand?

I'm fine. I'm... I'm fine.

Is that my sandwich?

We're never going to get away with this.

They're never going to believe that we're really married.

We have nothing in common. I annoy you all the time.

Why wouldn't they believe it?

Did you notice, in the library, Dalton hid something in his pocket?

Yeah, what was that?

I don't know. I think it was a letter.

I'd sure like to get a closer look at it.

Adrian...

You have to sit.

This is a picnic.

I-I don't sit on the ground.

Animals do things on the ground...

Terrible, terrible things.

What if they're watching us?

This is going to look very weird.

We're supposed to be doing that outdoor intimacy thing now.

So stand up.

I'm not going to stand up.

This is a picnic.

Sit down.

You stand up.

You sit down.

You stand up.

Adrian, sit down.

Okay, look, all right, okay.

How about this...

How about if we both squat?

You see? This is what marriage is.

Marriage is compromise.

She never thought she was beautiful, which made her even more beautiful.

She was 35 when she died.

She was just starting to get some small wrinkles around her eyes.

She hated them.

I loved them.

I told her, "those are my wrinkles."

I gave them to her by making her laugh so much.

You made Trudy laugh?

We laughed all the time.

You two never laugh?

Well, I've never seen him laugh... not once.

Oh, Adrian, your wife is in pain.

I think she needs a hug, don't you?

No.

Okay.

Yeah, we'll move on.

Let's try a little role reversal.

Jeffrey, why don't you pretend to be Rachel?

Rachel, you be Jeffrey, and...

Uh, excuse me.

What's your problem?

Me?

What was that look?

What look?

Did you just wink at me?

What?

No. Are you crazy?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You're calling me crazy? I just saw you wink at me.

Oh, my god! What are you doing?

Aren't you going to do something about this?

Oh, of course not.

Why should today be any different than any other day?

Just sit there, and I'll defend my own honor. Thank you.

Sharona, you're feeling hurt. I can tell.

Why don't we all just count to 10?

No, no, stay out of this. This is between me and Dalton.

I wasn't winking. Maybe I had something in my eye.

I don't...

Excuse me.

He couldn't be interested in you.

He's not physically able to, you know, perform.

He stepped on a land mine during desert storm.

Tell them.

That's right.

Yeah? [ Gasps ]

Keep your eyes to yourself. Keep them to yourself.

Settle down. Sit down.

Sit down. Settle down and sit down.

Now, it's all over.

Everybody gets angry. It's perfectly normal.

But we cannot allow anger to drive the bus.

Anger has to sit in the back of the bus, or at the very least, it needs to stay behind the yellow line, because anger is a terrible driver.

"Where is the gold? The answer is in the journals."

That's why Dalton was reading all those journals.

And why he married Randy's mother.

He needed a wife to get into this house.

Why didn't he just ask a friend?

I don't know. He obviously didn't want to share the money.

Poor Maria. She really loves him.

What should we do?

We don't have a choice.

We're going to have to show her this.

What are you doing here?

We were just talking.

No, I mean... I mean here, at this clinic.

Well, sharona and I have been drifting apart lately.

Yeah, we're trying to rekindle the spark we had when we were dating.

Picking somebody's pocket is a crime, Mrs. Monk.

She didn't.

It fell out of your jacket.

It's just an old letter I found upstairs.

It's just crazy talk about a cache of hidden gold.

Really?

Yeah, it's just a rumor, an old wives' tale.

But I'd hate for Maria to see this, though.

She might think it's why I brought her here.

It might upset her.

She's a very fragile person, you know.

Just one more thing, Adrian...

If you or your wife tangle with me again, you won't know what hit you.

Well, I'll have a rough idea.

I knew this tent would come in handy.

Why don't we just tell Maria what we know?

She won't believe us... Not without proof.

Why would she?

I'm a... I'm a cowardly mop salesman, and you're my crazy alcoholic wife who att*cked her husband.

Well, we should at least call Randy.

She'd believe her own son.

She hasn't believed him so far.

What are you doing? This shelf...

I can't sleep with a crooked shelf in the room.

Well, when you turn off the light, you won't see it.

I wish you could hear yourself sometimes.

You live in a dream world.

Sharona.

Go away.

What is it?

Get your camera.

I'm going in.

You can't.

No, y can't.

Adrian, I have to go in. Randy's depending on us.

I promise I'll be careful.

I'm just going to take a few pictures.

Don't worry.

I-I don't know how to not worry.

Stay there.

[ Monk coughs ]

What are you doing?

There's a coyote out there.

Oh, my god, you're in a cave.

I can't believe it. I am so proud of you.

Thank you. Let's go.

Okay, I think Dalton went that way.

No, and I could not care less.

Sharona, I have go...

Got to get out of here.

I-I can feel myself going numb.

Okay, okay, we're leaving. Here, follow me this way.

This way.

Can I open my eyes?

No, no, no. Not yet. We're almost there.

What's happening? Oh my...

[ both coughing ]

Put your head down! What's happening?

Sharona: Now, don't worry. Once they realize that we're gone, they're going to start looking for us.

They'll never find us.

Look, my camera has a built-in flash, okay?

I'm going to use the light to try and find the entrance.

Okay?

Okay.

Ready? Uh-huh.

Okay, here we go.

Aah! Aah!

Okay, it's over here! It's over here, come on!

Come on!

Okay. [ Coughs ]

Come on.

You know who I miss?

Who?

The coyote.

Oh! Oh!

Oh, oh, here it is, here it is.

I feel the rocks.

Hello? Anybody there?

Help!

Oh, no.

We're going to have to dig.

I got a pen knife in my pocket.

[ Gasps ] sh**t!

I dropped it.

You have a flashlight?

On my key chain. Why didn't you say anything?

It's only for emergencies.

Sharona... What?

Can I have the ring back?

What ring?

The ring I loaned you.

I'd like to hold onto it.

This is Trudy's wedding ring, isn't it?

I want to have it with me in case we don't...

Hey, hey.

Nobody's going to die.

Hold this.

You know, before I was your assistant, I was your nurse.

And you know what?

That means I'm still your nurse.

So I'm not going to let anything happen to you.

Want to know why?

It'll look bad on my rèsumé.

[ Cellular phone rings ]

Hello?

Can't talk now. I'm trapped in a cave.

Mr. and Mrs. Monk?

How you folks doing?

I found some more of those towelette things.

Thank you.

I've been poking around down there at the site of the accident.

That was no accident.

Now, did you actually see this Dalton padron knock that support beam out? No.

That beam's about 150 years old.

It was bound to give way sometime.

If I make it to 150, I expect I'll feel the same.

[ Cellular phone rings ]

Hello?

Are you guys all right? What was all that about a cave?

No, no, no, don't worry, we're fine. It was nothing.

Was it some sort of therapy thing?

Yes, Randy, it's called cave therapy.

Listen, I got your message about my stepfather.

God, I hate calling him that.

Has anything else turned up?

Nothing we can prove.

Okay, maybe I've got something on this end.

You remember Dalton's partner Raymond toliver?

Well, guess what. Raymond's disappeared.

His brother just filed a missing person's report.

I'm going to go check this out. Keep my posted, okay?

Okay, we'll call you later.

What is it?

We got to get back. This might be bigger than we thought.

You know, there are many kinds of cave-ins.

There are real cave-ins, and then there are emotional cave-ins.

What were you doing there, anyway?

Uh, we were just exploring. We're amateur spelunkers.

We were spelunking.

We love it.

Spelunking around.

Did you find anything interesting?

Not yet. Did you?

Adrian, sharona, while you were out, I happened to look into your room.

And I couldn't help but notice that sharona is sleeping in a pup tent on the floor.

The photo of your late wife is in a place of honor on the mantel above the fireplace while your current wife is sleeping on the floor.

Dear god, I...

I don't know where to begin.

Adrian, sharona, you loved each other once.

You wouldn't be wearing those rings if you didn't, right?

Right.

Adrian...

Sharona...

I want you to look at each other, and I want you to say, "I love you."

And don't just say the words.

Feel the words.

Go ahead.

I love you.

[ Quickly ] I love you.

That's very good.

Now...

I want you to kiss.

And not just any kiss.

I want you to communicate everything that you mean to each other and all of what you hope for.

Go ahead.

Yeah.

We...

Don't kiss.

It's... it's...

Just not our style.

Well, then, your new life begins right here...

Right now.

Go ahead.

Kiss.

Oh, that was so nice.

[ Gargling ]

Now, that's just insulting.

We're going to need more mouthwash.

Here we go.

Ooh, the old journals? You stole them from the library?

Nobody will miss them.

Let's just start reading.

What are we looking for... A map?

A map or a clue... something.

If Dalton finds that gold before we do, he's gone forever.

He's heading for Ecuador, remember?

Yeah. Here, sit down.

No way.

It's a bench.

I mean, I can understand you not wanting to sit down on the ground, but...

I've seen you sit down on a bench before.

No. No, no, not this one.

Yesterday, when we arrived, there was a bird on it.

You're impossible.

You married me. Just keep reading.

Man: Now that you mentioned it, I haven't seen Mr. Toliver around...

Not for a week or two.

Although, I'm just a landlord. I'm not their mother.

Yes, sir.

Aren't you supposed to have a warrant?

Aren't you supposed to have a sprinkler system that works?

Thank you. Can you step back, please?

I'll just be a minute.

Sharona: "I wonder if anyone's ever really been knocked over by a feather? It would have to be a pretty big bird."

You know what's in this one?

He copied the first three books of the Bible, word for word.

This guy's certifiable.

Are you sure he's not related to you?

That's funny. That's funny. Keep reading.

You remember what the letter said...

"the answer is in the journals."

It must be some kind of code.

"There is a chicken in Mexico who can play tic-tac-toe"?

Keep reading. Come on, keep reading.

What are you doing?

You've been reading all weekend.

What's so interesting about these books, anyway?

Maria, don't do this.

I told you on our wedding night it's never going to happen.

It's physically impossible.

Yeah, but I believe in miracles.

Maria, you're just embarrassing yourself... Again.

[ Sobbing ]

"I bought a grandfather clock today for the front hall.

"It keeps perfect time. It's worth its weight in gold.

I love it so..." its weight in gold.

Uggh...

[ Coughs ]

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello?

Mom, are you okay?

Am I okay?

Mom, listen to me, I want you to get out of there right now.

Dalton m*rder*d his partner. Mom...

Is he there?

[ Phone clicks ]

Is this sheriff Mathis?

This is lieutenant Randall disher from the San Francisco police.

I need you to detain a suspect in a homicide.

A Dalton padron. He's at the waterfront institute.

Do you know where that is? Good.

Don't leave. Nobody gets in or out of this building until captain stottlemeyer gets here.

[ Muffled grunts ]

I think I've already read this one.

No. No, you didn't.

A couple of them are identical.

Oh, god...

That's it. I'm going to bed.

No, you can't. We still have all these left to do.

I'll wait for the movie.

Wake me up if you find any gold.

Good night.

What is it?

The answer.

What?

That's what Skinner said in his letter...

"where's the gold?

The answer is in the journals."

This book must be over 600 pages.

But the journal weighs more.

The book covers are made of gold.

No.

No, it's leather... Ordinary leather.

Where is the gold?

The answer isn't in the journals.

The answer is in the journals.

You're wasting your time Mr. Padron.

The gold's not there. I know where it is.

Dalton padron, I'm Ronald Mathis of the hillside county sheriff's office. I want you to put that hammer down.

Sir, you drop your hammer...

Or I'll drop mine.

Joshua Skinner's fortune was right here under our noses the whole time.

The answer is in the journals.

Which one?

All of them.

Gold paper?

Gold ink.

Ink?

Monk: Joshua Skinner didn't trust banks, so he decided to hide his illegitimate fortune.

He melted down the gold and mixed in a little black ink.

Any amateur chemist could've done it.

And he began to write and write and write.

It was mostly nonsense...

Gibberish... anything that popped into his head.

He ran out of things to talk about after five pages, but he just kept on writing.

The gold was hidden in plain sight, and it stayed hidden for 125 years.

Until tonight.

Well, you figure 30 ounces of gold per journal...

That's roughly $6,000 a book.

947 volumes... That's $6 million.

More or less.

Hmm. Don't forget the real price.

Two people died for that gold.

Two people?

Dalton had a business partner... A partner who trusted him.

A lot of people trusted him.

Dalton, is it true?

What can I say, darling? It's a lot of gold.

Aah!

This weekend just will not end.

Dalton, if you, uh, if you want a hostage, take me.

That's awfully sweet, Jeffrey. No thank you.

The only thing I'm taking from this house is my new g*n...

And the keys to these handcuffs. Come on.

And a little reading material. Let's go!

Come on, let's go.

[ Gasping ]

Oh, my god. Oh!

Um, could... Could everybody step back?

He's claustrophobic. Move move move!

Great! The battery's dead, of course.

Just relax.

It'll just be a few minutes.

And everybody's safe.

That's the important thing. And we're all together.

Oh, yes, we are. We're all together.

You know, in a way, we're lucky.

Not all marriages are ever tested like this.

So maybe we should take advantage of the situation and really explore...

[ grunts ]

Forget it.

You really would've gone with him?

I'd do anything for you. Don't you know that, Rachel?

You're my whole world.

You know, I've been thinking, I am going to talk to your brother about that job.

I love you, Jeff.

I love you, baby.

I-I don't think we've been introduced.

I'm Ronald.

I'm Maria.

[ Gasping ]

Don't move!

Show me your hands!

Where the hell's my mother, you son of a bitch?

Mom!

Mom? Is everybody all right?

Oh, Randy! Randy.

Mom, are you okay?

What day is it?

We were only in there for five minutes.

I don't think so.

$6 million.

Who's going to get all that money?

Well, I just spoke to the d.A.

Skinner's old partner gully is the rightful heir.

He's got some family nearby.

They are in for one pretty surprise.

There's my hero.

I'm not a hero, mom.

You are a hero to me.

Thank you, sheriff.

My car's right here. Whenever you're ready.

Well, honey, I think Ron's going to drive me home.

I'll call you in the morning.

Love you.

I love you, too.

"In the morning"?

You can't even get your own mother to go home with you.

Jeffrey: What do you say on the way home we stop and look at a condo?

Condo? Hey, one step at a time.

I think this is yours.

Thanks for letting me wear it.

Adrian.

Sharona.

I'm glad you're still here.

There's something that I've been meaning to say.

Marriage is very hard.

And it takes exceptional people to make it work.

But I think you two can do it.

I believe in Adrian and sharona.

Thanks a lot, uh, but...

I think you should know we're...

We're not really married.

Oh, thank god.

Ha! Good. Keep it that way, huh?

Okay, we will. Thank you.

No problem there.