01x01 - Mr. Monk and the Candidate: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

The stove.

Over here, it's in the kitchen.

No, I mean my stove.

I think I left it on.

It's okay.

I checked it as we were leaving.

Are you sure? Did you turn the knob?

Yeah.

The little knob, though.

I turned all the knobs.

The stove was off, Adrian.

Excuse me, sir, we believe it was a burglary gone sour.

She walked in. She surprised him.

He panicked. No.

He got a knife from the kitchen...

No, no. No.

No, no, this was no burglary.

It wasn't?

He tried to make it look like one.

But this guy was cold as ice.

He wore her slippers to avoid leaving shoeprints.

Not something your neighborhood crack head is prone to do.

Adrian.

Adrian.

When he was in here, he was waiting.

Waiting for what?

You know, for her.

He was here at least an hour.

He was smoking.

You can still smell it on the curtains.

Menthols.

Salems.

Possibly newports.

Maybe she was the smoker.

No, no, she was a Dutch calvinist.

They don't smoke.

They consider their bodies to be a holy, a holy chalice of...

I'm sorry, I'm having trouble concentrating because I think I smell gas.

Did you hear the click?

Because you gotta hear the click, not just feel the click.

Hear it.

Anyway, uh, after he k*lled miss uh...

Nicole vasques, 25.

Yeah, miss vasques, he hung around.

He was looking for something.

Looking for what?

I don't know.

He checked something on her computer.

He could have erased a file.

Anything else?

Yes, he's tall.

He's, uh, 6'3 ", maybe 6'4".

What about, what about the pilot light?

Because, you know, sometimes it goes out.

The pilot light is fine. It's fine.

Do you remember the last time it almost went out?

Do you want me to drive all the way back to the city and check the stove?

No. I mean, is that what you're telling me to do?

No, no, no.

Would you? Could you?

That would be great.

Oh, excuse me, gentlemen, just one second, okay?

Who's she?

Just his nurse.

Forget about the damn stove, okay?

You are on a job here.

You're a private consultant.

I know, but I smelled it.

You gotta shut up.

The department thinks you're nuts.

You're never gonna get reinstated, you're never gonna get hired again, and we are both gonna be unemployed.

Do you understand the importance of what I am saying?

Now pull your twisted self together.

Concentrate and be brilliant.

You're brilliant.

Excuse me, sir.

I'm sure that you're right, but how do you know all of that?

I mean, about the computer.

It's patently obvious, isn't it?

There are no prints on the keyboard, not even hers.

Why? He used it.

He wiped 'em clean.

Right, and you said that he was tall.

Well the victim's short.

Maybe 5'4".

Look at the chair.

It's lowered almost all the way.

Wow.

We've been here all morning.

And nobody even noticed that.

Well.

Sir, if you can stick around for a bit, the coroner's on his way; We should have a...

No, I'm sorry I gotta go.

I'm pretty sure I smell gas.

Gentlemen, you know where to find us.

(Sharona) Just call.

So that's the famous Adrian monk?

Yeah, the living legend.

Would you call that living?

Would you call that living?

31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40.

Doc, I'm feeling great.

Dr. Kroger. I'm feeling great, Dr. Kroger.

You can't sweat the small stuff.

Just you go with the flow.

It's a new me.

It's a whole new me.

Thanks to you. I owe it all to you.

Feel like i'm back in the saddle.

I owe it all to you, doc.

I took your advice, doc.

I'm going with the flow.

So.

Going with the flow?

[Laughter]

Good, good for you.

You've been what, doing some consulting?

Yeah, in Santa Clara.

I have an old friend there who's a second lieutenant, and called me in.

Well, how did that make you feel?

I mean, you know, being called in?

It feels great.

Feels like old times.

Back in the saddle.

[Laughter]

You think you're ready to go back full time?

No, I don't mean consulting.

You know, I mean back on the force.

Definitely.

Absolutely.

Do you think I'm ready?

That's... that's the question.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

But you keep looking at the pillow.

If you want to fix the pillow, it's okay.

You could fix the pillow.

No, no, I was just thinking about...

No, I'm fine.

How are you sleeping?

Are you still having those dreams?

Well, Trudy and I were married for seven years.

It would be weird if i...

If I never dreamt about her, right?

You're testing me, aren't you?

You left it like that on purpose.

Did I?

[Laughs]

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah, so anyway, um, I've been feeling...

Excuse me.

Okay, no big deal.

Where were we?

[Elevator dings]

[Faint cheers from below]

You people sound like you're ready for a change.

[Cheers]

Am I right? Or am I right?

The band doesn't start playing until the balloons go, okay?

Right? Yeah.

San Francisco has a simple decision to make.

Wait for my cue.

Do we tread water or do we move ahead?

(All) Ahead!

But hell, that's all right.

Hey, how we doing?

I'm getting lockjaw, Kevin.

When can I stop smiling?

I'm afraid you're gonna have to get used to it, Miranda.

I told you when I signed on, city hall is just the beginning.

I am your Moses.

And I am gonna take you and your husband to the promised land.

As my old man used to say...

I've seen Sacramento, Gavin.

It's hardly the promised land.

Forget Sacramento.

I'm talking about the white house.

And don't forget, when you elect me, you're getting two mayors for the price of one.

My wife, Miranda.

[Cheers]

I'm not just talking the talk.

I'm ready to walk the walk.

Are you ready to walk with me?

[Cheers]

[Patriotic music]

[g*n shot]

[Screams]

He's up there.

Up there.

All units now.

[Knock at door]

Okay, I'll call you back. I'll call you back.

Okay.

St. Claire just issued another statement.

Is he blaming us?

Not yet, just ra-ra stuff.

He will not be silenced, he will not be intimidated.

And he will be blaming us soon enough.

Everybody does, sooner or later.

We gotta make a statement too.

Is the press here? Who's here?

The girl from channel three.

The pretty one?

No, the other one.

It's okay.

Good, who do you want on camera?

Me. I'll do it.

Yup, I think it will reassure people to see me taking point.

Yes, sir.

Anything on the sh**t? Say yes.

Uh, the forensic boys are still on site, but nothing so far.

Incoming deputy mayor.

Hello, Sheldon berger.

Who let you off your leash?

I just came from the hospital.

The bodyguard didn't make it.

Mayor's on his way back from Sacramento.

Look, I don't have to tell you, captain, we're on a bus to hell. I understand.

If we don't slam-dunk this thing, it's gonna look like we're not trying.

I'm not an idiot, Sheldon.

I've got every available man on the case.

No, you don't.

The mayor wants you to bring in your old friend.

Monk?

[Speeding cars]

Oh, my god, I still can't believe this.

Bus, bus, bus.

The mayor asked for you, personally.

There's a bus on the right.

This is great.

This is gonna get you back on the force, I'm telling you.

I already have a job, remember?

The girl in Santa Clara... Merging, merging!

Everybody's... you wanna drive?

What Lane are you in? You wanna drive?

I'll sit there and yell and point and drive you nuts, 'cause you're driving me nuts, Adrian.

Okay, all right, I'm sorry.

It's red! It's red, come on.

It's red.

(Sharona) Be cool. No, no, not today.

You can't today.

Look who's here, the defective detective.

Hello, monk.

Captain.

Sharona. Hi.

Lieutenant.

You look good.

Dr. Kroger says you've been getting out some.

Oh, he is really doing great.

I can't even keep up with him, thanks.

Excellent.

Well, the candidate is waiting for us upstairs.

I want to make this crystal clear.

You're here because the mayor thinks you can walk on water.

But you're a civilian now, monk.

You have observer status only.

Okay, when I'm in there, I talk, you say nothing.

Understand?

Look, monk, when I took your badge three years ago, I told you nothing would give me more pleasure than to see you reinstated, and I meant that.

But you're obviously not ready.

Is that you talking, or the uniform?

I am the uniform, monk.

You didn't understand that back when I was your watch commander.

Now you just stay out of my way, and we'll be fine.

Yes, sir.

And I'm sure you and Karen will work things out.

What did you say?

You and your wife, you're having some problems.

What are you talking about?

Karen and I are fine.

We're 100%.

Yes, sir. My mistake.

Um, never been happier to be wrong.

Hey, monk, come here.

How did you know that?

You missed a spot shaving.

Karen would have caught that.

And your neck tie, she always ties it for you.

She uses that double-slip knot.

Conclusion: You dressed yourself.

And your ramada inn cup.

Send her some roses maybe.

When we get in there, you don't say anything.

No, no, forget it.

We're four points behind with ten days to go.

I am not putting my man in a box.

Nobody wants to put anybody in a box, Mr. Lloyd.

All we want to do is limit your public appearances and not announce your schedule in advance.

Oh, well I'm sure the mayor would love that.

Maybe we should move the whole campaign and run it from the basement.

How 'bout that?

Now, Gavin, that's not fair.

The captain's just doing his job.

Mr. St. Claire, can you think of anybody who might wish you harm?

A disgruntled employee?

Or an ex-wife?

Or a union official.

I know a couple of ex-business partners who no longer send us Christmas cards.

You boys have your work cut out for you.

A man who hasn't made any enemies hasn't done squat.

Warren, you're sure you want to go through with this?

After yesterday, no one would blame you if you quit.

Jesse, you used to say quit was a four-letter word.

Excuse me, we haven't been introduced.

I'm sorry, who are you?

Jesse Goodman.

I work upstairs.

Senior vice president/ concerned friend.

I couldn't make this run if Jesse wasn't upstairs minding the store.

Baby.

Do you need that?

Yes, I do.

Somebody tried to k*ll my husband yesterday right in front of me.

Monk.

Excuse me.

What, what are you doing?

I was just straightening up.

Oh, my god, excuse me, that's color-coded by voting precinct.

It took me three weeks to set this up.

I'm sorry.

Monk.

What department are you with?

Ma'am, this is Adrian monk.

He is no longer with our department.

He's here as a private consultant.

I'll put 'em all back the way they were.

No, no, stop.

You can't possibly remember how everything was, so just...

Yes, he can. Yes, he can.

If you just give me a chance, it really won't take too long.

Look, it will take one second.

Adrian, let go of the board.

So, captain, you say he's no longer with the department?

He was given a 315.

A psychological discharge.

It's a temporary suspension.

A psychological discharge.

It's a temporary suspension.

He's up for a review next week.

Is this a joke?

Someone tries to k*ll my husband, and you send in rain man?

Mrs. St. Claire, I can assure you Mr. Monk's involvement is an indication of just how seriously we are taking this case.

Is he whoo-hoo?

No, no, it's a form of anxiety disorder.

A severe case like this is usually triggered by a single traumatic incident.

Someone hit him over the head with a shovel?

His wife was m*rder*d four years ago.

A car b*mb.

There.

Unbelievable.

Wait.

There.

Now I'd like to see where the sh*ts were fired from.

What's he doing?

I love this part.

He does this zen- Sherlock Holmes thing.

What?

He used the drawstring to steady his shot.

I've seen it before.

In the field manual for the green berets.

Special forces.

It's possible.

Captain, could you grab this?

It'll just take a minute.

Hold this up.

Like a r*fle.

Right.

How tall are you? Six foot.

No, really. 5'11".

Our guy was taller, 6'3", maybe 6'4".

Just like Santa Clara.

Just like what?

The homicide in Santa Clara.

We've been consulting on it.

I've read about that.

It's a completely different m.O.

Oh, what, you think there's a connection because this guy might be tall?

Lieutenant, get the warriors on the line.

I want to talk to Antoine Sanderson, see if he's got an alibi for Thursday morning.

Captain, do you know the percentage of men over 6'3"?

No, do you?

Maybe 0.5%.

The odds of two men in this city in that category committing premeditated m*rder within two days of each other are astronomical.

What, all because of a twisted venetian blind cord?

Monk, monk, that's a stretch even for you.

That and he wore slippers.

And he smokes newports.

[Laughs]

This isn't police work. This is vaudeville.

He's already k*lled two...

Two...

Oh, it's nothing.

He just has a little problem with heights.

[Phone rings]

Can we, uh, just gotta find an open computer and then I can check up the name.

Over here.

Oh, so, um, v-a-s- q-u-e-s, Nicole vasques.

I don't know her, but that doesn't mean anything.

I only been here a couple of days.

But, uh, let's see.

She's not a volunteer.

And she's not on staff, sorry.

What's your name?

Jake. Jake.

My name's Adrian monk.

Here's my number.

You think of anything, you give me a call.

Okay, sure.

[Church bells ring]

What does a man say about a friend who took a b*llet that was meant for him?

Mere words like "thank you" seem so hollow.

When I heard Jason had passed...

This guy is too good to be true.

I considered quitting the race.

Maybe he's a decent man.

Isn't that possible?

And then I talked to risa, Jason's mother, and she reminded me her son was no quitter.

You know what I think?

I think he did it.

Who?

St. Claire.

You can't buy this kind of publicity.

Right. Come on.

See it through, or why begin at all?

What do you think?

I think this case and the girl in Santa Clara are connected somehow.

So...

Someone who knew them both.

Someone...

What are you doing?

Do you have my keys? I can't find my keys.

I don't have your keys.

Adrian, calm down.

Did you put them in your bag?

No, I don't touch your keys, because if I touch your keys, you freak out.

Calm down!

[St. Claire's speech continues]

(St. Claire) In a few seconds, we will be closing the casket, and saying good-bye to Jason forever.

Would you... it's okay.

We'll make new ones.

No, it's the key chain.

The key chain, it was Trudy's.

I gotta...

I gotta...

I've got to have those keys.

That packet right there, i... just get it...

No.

Monk!

You are going straight to hell.

I am in hell.

May his loving spirit live forever in our hearts, and in our prayers.

Why don't we take a moment and meditate silently.

Now, old friend, we turn, and salute you, one last time.

[Shocked gasps]

You should be ashamed of yourself!

Do you lie awake at night, thinking of ways to disrupt my husband's campaign?

Now, Miranda...

No, ma'am, I lie awake at night and try not to think at all.

These things happen.

Hell, for a minute, I thought I had a new campaign slogan.

Vote for St. Claire; He can raise the dead.

[Laughs] Where's my boy?

Right here, sir.

Make sure Miranda gets home.

Of course.

Mr. St. Claire?

Uh, a couple of questions.

Let me ask you a question.

How can you investigate anything?

I'm told you're germophobic, afraid of the dark, heights, crowds, and milk.

We're working on the milk.

He's making good progress on milk.

Huh.

Uh, Mrs. St. Claire, I sense that you're a little upset, but I can tell you why I dropped my keys.

I've been a bit preoccupied with another case.

A girl was m*rder*d in Santa Clara.

Uh, a Nicole vasques.

Did you know her?

No.

No? No.

Sir? Sir?

Did you know her? Uh, Nicole vasques?

Uh, no.

Should I?

No, no reason you should.

Ma'am, if you could take another look, Nicole vasques.

I don't know anyone by that name.

What I do know is if my husband is elected mayor, you will never work in this town again.

Let's go.

Are you registered to vote?

I never vote; It only encourages them.

Ugh, let's get out of here.

She makes me sick.

Do you know how much her husband's worth?

No. $150 million.

They were talking about it on the radio.

That's a lot of motive. Yes, it is.

You trying to k*ll yourself?

Maybe.

[Car door closes]

[Engine starts]

Miranda St. Claire called the mayor personally.

You couldn't just buy another key chain?

Trudy gave it to him.

It's irreplaceable.

Captain.

We just got the forensic report back.

The b*ll*ts were hollow-point.

Designed to deform on impact.

Those can't be traced.

Yeah, but we caught a lucky break.

One of them was still intact.

They I.D.'D the w*apon.

It's a weatherby fibermark, which is...

(monk) British.

It's British.

Long-range.

Preferred by mercenaries in paramilitary groups.

That's right; He's right.

(Stottlemeyer) Well, start a list of weapons and/or amm*nit*on sales.

Yes, sir.

Could you cross-check that against Nicole vasques?

Who?

The homicide in Santa Clara.

Sir, your 10:00?

The cases don't overlap, monk.

She worked for the dmv; He was a candidate for mayor.

She was behind on her rent; he has houses all over the world.

He was stabbed; She was shot.

Let it go.

We gonna let it go?

Hell no.

What are we going to do now?

We're going to follow the money.

Mm! Ah!

I've always wanted to say that!

The queen said to the royal doctor, [British accent] "I'm so worried about the Princess."

"She has all the emeralds and rubies and riches

"in the kingdom, but she never laughs."

"Who can make the Princess laugh?"

So they called the court Jester.

[Children coughing] The court Jester, as everyone knew, was the silliest

[coughs] And funniest court Jester that ever there was.

With a jingle and a jangle, he rolled into the court.

[Coughing continues]

"My queen calls," he sang out as he bowed.

"Jester," said the queen, "the Princess has forgotten how to laugh, "and I am giving you the job of bringing back

"her smiles to this court."

"When shall I start?" He asked.

Just then, the Princess entered the court, and everyone fell silent.

"Now is as good a time as any," she said.

The Jester turned and greeted the Princess, and he bowed.

He rolled end over end, and when he stopped, flowers appeared in his...

[screams]

[Bell rings]

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm better.

Where is she?

I don't know.

Just give me a moment, please.

Hey, you're great with the kids.

Yeah, well, it's easy when you don't have any of your own.

Let's get this over with, I have a fundraiser in Denver tonight.

Sure, sure, i, uh, only have, uh, a couple of questions, Mrs. St. Claire.

Just basic background stuff.

Uh, do you have any bank accounts in your own name?

No.

Do you want to maybe take some notes here?

No, I'll remember it.

Yeah, probably better to write it down.

You don't think I can remember it?

How long have you, uh, and Warren been married?

Five years.

That must be tough.

He's so busy, and now he's running for mayor.

I would think what would be kind of stressful.

You've been married, right?

Yes, uh, I have.

Then I don't have to tell you every marriage is stressful.

That's why they call it "marriage."

Is there anything else?

Yeah.

Are you, uh, are you going to be seeing Mr. Goodman later?

Jesse?

Jesse.

Why do you ask?

Well, if you see him, you know, uh, would you tell him to call me?

Because I would just... I'd love to talk to him.

And, you know, if you see him.

Are you accusing me of something, Mr. Monk?

I... i don't know, uh, are you guilty of something?

[Chuckles nervously]

Oh, Mr. Monk, you seem like an intelligent person.

On occasion.

Warren is the first man in my life that never gave up on me.

Last week, if I could have, I would have taken that b*llet myself.

You have to believe me.

Mrs. St. Claire, I have to listen to you.

I don't have to believe you.

I'm leaving now.

(Sharona) She did it, there's no doubt in my mind that witch did it.

Hello?

Adrian, it's for you.

Okay?

Yes, monk.

Mr. Monk, it's Jake from the St. Claire campaign.

I think I found something.

I'll be right there.

Uh, actually, I was about to leave.

I could drop it off at your place.

I'll be there in about a half hour.

Good, I'll meet you there.

Is that a personal call?

Uh, no sir... good.

I may be a little late.

All right, my beautiful people, I love each and every one of you, but these envelops will not get stuffed by themselves.

No, no, no, no.

No thanks, no, not today.

Come on, I just cleaned it, come on!

Aw, all right, fine, fine.

Fine.

[Grunts]

Captain.

[Grunts]

Captain, captain.

We got the preliminary.

Probable accident.

Severe blunt trauma to the head.

Uh-huh. Okay.

Captain? Captain?

Are there any documents in the car?

Like a notebook?

No.

Uh, captain?

What?

Check his hat.

What?

He used to carry things in his hat.

Was there a hat?

They didn't pull anything.

He wasn't wearing a hat!

What are you doing?

Come on down.

The accident scene's down here.

He's not wearing the right shoes today.

He's not wearing the right shoes today.

Well, look, there's nothing to do here.

Coroner's already called it.

It's a single-car accident.

No, no, no, this was no accident.

There's no skid marks on the road.

It's wet!

You're not the only detective here, monk.

I checked for skid marks.

It happens all the time on this hill.

He hit this curve at 85, 90 miles an hour.

[Whistles] Boom!

No, no, this was staged.

He was k*lled somewhere else.

Well, maybe you could tell me where this m*rder took place, because that would be very helpful.

Cole Avenue and 17th street.

How could you possibly know that?

We were meeting at my house.

He probably took Cole.

I'm thinking he was k*lled at that stop sign on 17th street.

Why 17th?

There's a homeless shelter there, they wash windshields for spare change.

I'm thinking somebody approached the car, started washing the window, and then att*cked him.

You can see the windshield even better from here.

The driver's side's clean.

Passenger's side's filthy.

(Stottlemeyer) Go check the windshield fluid.

Go, Adrian. Good going.

Excuse me, officer?

Son of a bitch.

Adrian, this officer is going to drive you home, okay?

Thank you.

Behave yourself; He's armed.

Why? Where you going?

I have a date, I told you about it!

Oh, I thought you were joking.

You thought I was joking?

What, you don't think I could possibly have a date?

No, I didn't mean that.

What is so funny about me dating, Adrian?

Nothing. Sorry.

It's just... it's Tuesday.

It's chicken pot pie night.

Don't be such a baby.

My 11-year-old kid could bake a chicken pot pie.

I'll see you later, okay?

Okay, okay, slow down.

Slow down one second.

All right, then you said 2/3 of a cup, 2/3?

Benji, who are you on the phone with?

Give me that phone. No one.

Give me the phone.

Monk? Is that you?

Okay, I'm hanging up now, and don't call back.

Benji's got homework, lots of it.

Don't hang up. Don't... no...

Benji, call me back!

He sounds certifiable.

Oh, it's the worst job I ever had.

Yeah? So why don't you quit?

Well, because it's also the best job I ever had.

I'm having adventures.

I can't believe it;

I'm putting bad guys behind bars.

I feel like, um, what is her name?

Uh, Superman's girlfriend?

Oh! Lois Lane.

I'm Lois Lane. Yeah.

I mean, how many practical nurses can say that?

Not many.

No. Not many.

[Laughs]

You see, that looks so fun on you.

What, the dress?

The smile.

Oh. Thank you.

Five, six, seven, eight, the investigation into last week's attempted assassination is apparently stalled.

We have some new footage of the event that was taken by a tourist who was at the scene.

I should warn you, though, some of this is very graphic.

[g*nshots and screams]

To moderation in all things.

Hmm?

Except love.

(Monk) Hey.

[Gulps]

Monk, what are you doing here?

I was watching the news.

There was a videotape of the St. Claire thing.

Something about it just does not add up.

Mr. Monk, I presume?

You must be Carl from the health club.

Mm-hmm.

Well, uh, why don't you join us?

(Sharona) No, he shouldn't.

You know, two's company, three's a crowd, and monk hates crowds.

Don't you?

I feel okay when you're around.

Boy, this is nice, isn't it?

I forgot, what were we talking about?

England. Oh, my god, that's right.

Um, Carl said that, uh, he was talking about living in england.

He was a rhodes scholar.

No kidding.

Mm-hmm.

He graduated magna cum laude.

Cum laude.

Right. I know.

And now he has a, uh, private practice.

He's an entertainment lawyer.

Guess who he represents.

Can I tell him?

Yeah, sure.

Francis Ford coppola.

Yeah, but it's... It's no big deal.

A tabloid wrote something about him, that, you know, he was drunk at the oscars.

So now we're suing them for slander.

I don't know what to do here.

Uh, I'm no good at this.

Okay, this man is lying to you.

He's not a lawyer.

What?

Oxford doesn't have a magna cum laude.

And you sue a newspaper for libel, not slander.

But I'll just shut up.

Forget I said anything.

It's no big deal, Carl.

Well, that looks, what the hell is that?

What should I have done? Just let him lie to you?

Yes, yes! It was the first date.

Taxi!

Everybody embellishes their resume.

It's called "human nature."

Do you think I told him about Benji, or about that summer I spent dancing in Atlantic city?

No!

What kind of dancing?

I can't do this anymore.

I quit.

Not again.

No, no, I mean it this time.

I'm sending my sister over for my stuff.

Okay, well you know you're just gonna come back.

Don't tell me what I'm gonna do.

You think you know everything, but, believe it or not, you don't know me that well.

All right, let's just go back inside.

No. No.

It's too late.

Look, I have responsibilities now.

I got a kid.

And I think I have to find a normal job before I go completely crazy.

Like me.

Like me?

Well, I'll never forget you.

You never forget anything.

Valencia at 28th.

[Faint police sirens]

Okay, make me happy.

We found it wedged under the passenger seat...

In his hat.

Third name from the bottom.

I see it, I see it.

She was a part-time volunteer.

She quit two months ago.

That's why her name didn't come up.

So monk was right.

There is a connection.

How does he do it?

I... i have two eyes.

I see everything that he sees.

But i... i don't see what he sees.

Sir, if I may, what monk does... It's a parlor trick.

I mean, can you do all this?

Can you organize a city-wide investigation?

Inspire the troops?

Motivate people?

Adrian monk isn't half the cop, or a third of the man that you are, sir.

Thank you, lieutenant.

Nonetheless...

[Sighs]

We need him now.

Go get him.

He's not home.

Wh...

Well then he's at sharona's.

Call sharona.

I tried her. She said she quit.

Sharona quit?

You mean monk's alone?

Out there in public?

[Knocking on door]

Hello?

Are you Benji?

Yeah, who are you?

I'm Sheldon berger, deputy mayor.

Hey, you like skateboarding?

Mom!

Something happened to monk!

(Sharona) Forget it.

Monk's been one step ahead of us all the way, but the man can't function without you.

Mm-hmm.

The city of San Francisco would be eternally grateful.

Wow.

These are really good. Did you make these?

They're oreos, Sheldon.

They are?

(Benji) They say oreos on them.

Oh, yeah.

Exactly how eternally grateful would the city be?

You tell us, sharona.

Whatever you want.

(Benji) Skateboard track.

Mom, make him build a skateboard track in the park.

Okay, here's the deal.

I'll find monk and bring him back, and you'll owe me one.

One what?

Someday, there'll be a knock on your door.

Whatever I say, whatever I want, you'll have to say yes.

Within reason.

Then forget it.

Okay, okay, okay!

Not within reason.

[Clarinet music]

♪

That was our song.

I'm sure she heard you.

I don't see how.

She's been dead for four years.

[Chuckles]

Welcome back.

Now don't pretend you're surprised.

You know, you were right about the cases being connected.

Nicole vasques did volunteer work for the St. Claire campaign.

How's it feel always being right?

Terrible.

Come on, let's go.

I don't know if I'm gonna be able to pull this off.

Adrian, you're gonna be fine.

So are you ever gonna tell me what kind of dancing you did in Atlantic city?

Ballroom.

Really?

[g*nsh*t on TV]

(Monk) Campaign volunteer.

Campaign volunteer. What did she do there?

Oh, this and that.

Mostly helping the bookkeeper.

She quit after seven weeks, which I'm told is not unusual.

Pretty small crowd.

How many times you need to watch that, Adrian?

I'm missing the price is right.

The rally.

I mean, why would Gavin Lloyd set it there?

Weekday in the middle of the financial district.

They were just talking about Gavin Lloyd on the radio.

Apparently he was this hotshot political genius, and now the national parties won't even touch him.

Why not?

Well he was never officially charged, but the word is some campaign contributions Gavin collected were there one minute and gone the next.

Oh, right.

It was a Senate Race, right?

In north Carolina.

Adrian, what are you doing?

It's dented.

Where?

You can't even see it.

I am what I am.

Look, do you want it?

Of course I want it.

I'm not the mental case.

[g*nsh*t on TV]

Oh, look, this one's dented too.

That's funny. I know.

I don't know why you shop at that place, Adrian.

[g*nsh*t on TV]

105.

106.

107, 108.

109.

[Tires squealing]

110.

[Tires screeching]

122! 123! 124!

Aah!

[Tires screech]

[Engine revs]

You should've seen me, I'm telling you!

I have the moves.

No, I was diving, I was running.

I was diving out of the way!

That's great, Adrian.

Don't you get it?

It means we're getting close.

It means we're making somebody nervous.

I just can't picture you outrunning a car.

I wasn't even running my fastest.

Why not? You know.

Are you touching all the Poles again?

Yeah, I was touching the Poles, yeah.

Adrian monk for Gavin Lloyd.

How old was she?

25.

That's heartbreaking.

(Sharona) She worked for flo, your bookkeeper.

She was here last summer for about seven weeks.

We get kids like this all the time.

Every campaign does. We call them floaters.

You know, their boyfriend comes back, they get a new job, psht, they're gone.

So flo said that you took Nicole aside one day.

I did?

Yes, this would've been last July sometime.

And you talked to her for a while and then she never came back to work.

I talk to 100 kids every day, you know?

More.

We, uh, actually, as a matter of fact, we lost another one last week.

Car crash in sausalito.

Hmm, yeah.

We heard about that.

Sir, i...

I don't pretend to know much about politics...

Vote for, uh, Warren St. Claire.

That's all you need to know.

(Monk) But what was the reason you held the rally at that Plaza.

Heart of the financial district.

We wanted to assure the business community that Warren St. Claire is on their side, and it's working.

Have you seen the latest poll numbers?

Yes, congratulations.

Thank you.

[Whispers] Chicago.

Uh, that's a confidential document.

Sorry.

That's why we shred it.

Sorry.

Okay, sorry.

I have a suggestion, Mr. Monk.

I'm gonna do my job.

She'll do her job.

He'll do his job.

And you, sir, you and miss...

Fleming.

Fleming, go out and do your job.

Thanks. Good luck.

(Monk) Thank you.

Okay.

[Throat clearing]

Mr. Monk, sorry to keep you waiting.

(Sharona) That's okay.

You know, Mr. Goodman, your painting is very, um...

I can't think of the word. It's...

Scary.

I just got that piece.

Something about it, I just...

I just had to have it.

Yeah.

You could tell a lot about a person from his taste in art. He did it.

Just a couple of questions, sir.

How long have you worked for Mr. St. Claire?

Nine years.

I was the first person he hired.

But he never made you partner.

You don't see me complaining.

I'm a lucky man.

I see you've been out of town.

Upstate.

My family has a cabin on rockaway lake.

I needed some time to clear my thoughts.

It's been a hell of a week.

Mr. Goodman, I'm sure of two things.

One...

Adrian.

One, your cabin is quite lovely.

And two, you were nowhere near it.

What?

Your wristwatch, it's set two hours ahead to central time.

You haven't been north.

You've been east.

Unless I'm wrong which, you know, I'm not, you were in Chicago.

Well, that's crazy.

I don't know anyone in Chicago.

You know Miranda St. Claire.

She told us she was going to Denver, but her travel itinerary said Chicago.

So you see, what we have here, sharona, are two consenting adults both lying about where they spent last night.

What I'm about to say can't leave this room.

Miranda and I have, uh, been together twice.

So last night makes three.

No.

Last night it ended.

I swear I didn't want her.

I wanted to hurt Warren, the legendary Warren St. Claire.

I was sick of being his key chain.

You... you say you wanted to hurt him.

No, no, no.

I didn't mean...

I wouldn't really hurt him.

Oh, of course not.

You just wanted to hump his wife.

Look, you want to charge me with something, you call my lawyer.

What is this?

What?

It's me, isn't it?

Look...

I don't have time for this.

All right, this meeting is over.

He's gone.

[Cell phone rings]

It's me, isn't it?

Hello?

Isn't it?

Okay.

[Whispers] It's me.

Hey, they got him. We gotta go.

They got him.

Come on.

The FBI coughed up a major file on this guy Ian Sykes, ex special forces.

Last April, he purchased a scope for a weatherby fibermark r*fle.

You guys stay here until we're inside, all right?

Did he mention how tall he was?

Yes, he's 6'5" tall.

I got lucky.

[Grunts]

Police! Police!

Go, go! Clear!

Police! Come out!

Slow, easy!

Are you alone?

[Siren in distance]

You don't have to keep apologizing, sir.

Everybody makes mistakes.

The fact is, I was 6'5".

Once.

You did buy a scope for a weatherby fibermark r*fle?

Yes, sir.

For my father.

He hunts alone now.

The rocky mountains aren't exactly handicap accessible.

Mm-hmm.

Sorry.

Okay, boys and girls, the beat goes on.

We've got to talk to that profiler again.

Call the mayor.

Tell him we're back at square one.

What?

Your shoes.

Yes?

They're all scuffed up, and they've got little creases in them.

Yeah, my shoes are scuffed up, monk.

They're not spotless like yours because I actually use them.

His were all scuffed up too.

Call up SWAT.

You go get in your car.

Go. Go, go, go, go, go.

Get him out of here.

Go!

Go!

[Siren]

Stottlemeyer said we'd be safer over here.

That's a crock.

He put us in the cheap seats so he could take all the credit.

Oh, great. The battery's dead.

Look, I gotta check on Benji.

Stay here and don't move.

I'm gonna find a phone.

Well, hurry.

I will, I promise.

[Engine starts]

(Man) Ready?

[Siren]

Hey.

Hey!

Hey.

Over... over here!

Hey!

He's here!

Hey, what are you...

Call the...

Get...

[sighs]

Come on.

Don't look down.

Don't look down. Don't look up.

Don't look down.

Uh...

[Small grunts]

Don't look down.

Don't look down.

Don't look down.

Excuse me.

You... you...

You have the right to remain silent.

What, he actually said "excuse me" and then he crawled over you?

No, no, it was more like he crawled around me.

Good work, detective.

You know, I don't think he recognized me, before, up in his room, or just now on the fire escape.

Which means what?

Which means he's not the guy who tried to run me down.

I think we're looking for two different guys.

Well, if only we had him in custody, we could have questioned him.

All right, let me get this straight now.

You... I'm confused, monk.

You say you want your badge back, is that right?

You want your badge back so you can protect the people of this city from rapists and murderers, as long as they don't climb any ladders or run across any big, bad, scary Bridges.

Is that right?

Give him a break, captain.

No, no. You give me a break!

Look, you want to carry a g*n?

Are you gonna carry a loaded g*n and have other cops depend on you?

No.

No, no, I don't think so.

You're off the case.

Oh, bite me.

I'm sorry, what did you say?

What did you say?

Leland, this isn't about what happened today.

Is it?

This is about you and me.

This is about you and me.

No. No, monk.

This isn't personal.

The fact of the matter is, the most wanted man in the city got away because you got dizzy!

Am I right?

Don't expect the mayor to help you either, because after this, you're a leper.

What is that, your tough look?

Hey, mom, what's he doing?

This is where his wife was...

This is where Mrs. Monk passed away.

Oh.

[Car door opens, closes]

Hey, monk.

Hey, monk.

Benji, be careful.

She... she must have been meeting somebody, but who?

Was it a story she was working on?

I don't know.

And I can't see it, and why can't I see it?

I think you're too close to it, monk.

[Grunts]

Benji!

Is he okay?

He's okay.

Yeah, I'm okay.

[Tires squeal, voices echoing]

How many times have I told you to be careful?

How many?

(Benji) Don't worry, I'm okay.

You could have k*lled yourself, and I'm gonna take it away if you don't watch it.

Are you okay?

(Benji) I'm okay.

Are you okay?

(Benji) Yeah, I'm okay.

Are you okay?

I'm okay.

Did you hear that?

Yeah, it's an echo.

You have to get out more.

Benji, be careful.

Okay.

What?

What?

I've got it.

You got what?

You know who did it?

[Groans]

You know who tried to k*ll St. Claire?

Monk, who did it?

You're not gonna tell me who did it?

It doesn't matter.

They're not gonna listen to me.

You heard the captain.

I'm a leper.

[Knocks]

Hi, sharona.

Hey, Sheldon.

Um, can I come in?

Yeah.

Okay.

I need everybody to stand exactly where they were after the sh*ts were fired.

Mrs. St. Claire, you were standing right here.

What is the point?

We know who tried to k*ll my husband.

It was that lunatic, what's his name.

Ian Sykes.

He's probably halfway to Mexico by now.

That's true. Mr. Goodman, if you would.

That's true, Ian Sykes got away.

Yes, he did.

Yes, and I feel terrible about that, but today we're looking for his accomplice, the person who hired Ian Sykes.

Are you a poker player, Mr. Monk?

Because you're either bluffing your ass off here or you're sitting on a very sweet hand.

Well, let's find out.

Sir, all week long, I have been wracking my brain, who would want to take a shot at you?

Then last night, it occurred to me.

Maybe we've all been asking the wrong question.

Maybe the sh**t hit exactly what he was aiming at...

Your bodyguard.

That's insane. Who'd want to hurt Jason rondstadt?

That's not exactly showing initiative.

Right, but what if...

What if Jason rondstadt was the bodyguard who knew too much?

You were dipping into the w*r chest again.

[Laughs]

You gotta be kidding.

That's old news, monk.

Mr. St. Claire, bear with me, please, sir.

On your Mark.

Here's what I think happened.

Nicole vasques was going over the books and some numbers didn't add up.

Uh, excuse me, sir, I was just wondering if I could talk to you for a sec.

It seems that a large sum of money is going into a different account, and i... okay, where?

(Monk) She asked you about it, and you brushed her off.

Thanks for catching that, honey.

That's what I pay you for.

All right, I'll look into it, all right?

Maybe you even accused her of stealing the money.

[Laughs]

Can you believe this guy?

You are out of your mind.

Out of your mind.

You started to worry the girl might talk.

You couldn't buy her off.

She had a little something we call integrity.

So you decided to hire somebody to k*ll her.

But who?

You asked Jason rondstadt, but he turned you down.

You were in hell, surrounded by honest people.

I don't have to stand here and listen to this.

Yes, you do. Yes, you do.

Okay.

Thanks, captain.

You kept shopping around.

You found a professional, Ian Sykes.

Sykes k*lled the girl, but you still had one loose end left...

Jason rondstadt, the first guy you asked.

I mean, hell, that's all right.

Flying 17 combat missions in the Gulf wasn't easy.

Flying a fleet of...

[g*nsh*t, people screaming]

(Monk) k*lling Jason rondstadt in public was brilliant, 'cause everyone assumed it was an assassination attempt, and you got a two-fer.

Your problem was eliminated, and your candidate gets to look heroic.

I don't suppose you're gonna be able to prove any of this?

Well, here was your mistake.

My mistake?

Hey.

This photograph was taken seconds after the sh**ting.

That's you, isn't it, pointing up at the sn*per?

Yeah, yeah. So what?

He's up there!

(Man) I need an ambulance.

Up there!

Mobile units now! Now!

You're the only one pointing.

How did you know where he was?

Because I saw him. He was right up there.

Look.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.

Gentlemen.

Gentlemen, if you please.

Last Thursday, there were approximately

400 balloons right here.

There's only one way you could have known where Ian Sykes was.

You hired the man.

This is totally ridiculous.

I mean, it all happened so fast.

It was chaotic.

It was chaos.

Maybe I, uh, maybe I didn't see him.

Maybe I heard the sh*ts.

(Monk) But you...

You heard them.

Yes, I definitely heard them, definitely heard them.

We all heard them, and they were coming from up there.

Well, if that's true, then you won't have any trouble hearing sharona.

She is up there in one of these buildings with a starter's p*stol.

Heckle, this is jekyl.

Are you all set?

Any time, jekyl.

Let's do it.

[g*nsh*t]

[Shot echoes]

(Monk) It's kind of like an echo chamber, isn't it?

Want to take another chance?

Heckle, we're going for best out of three.

[g*nsh*t]

[Shot echoes]

There.

There?

No.

Uh...

Over there.

Are you sure?

Oh, my god.

No, wait, wait, wait.

Do it again.

Do it again!

And you called yourself my Moses.

(Monk) And like the real Moses, he won't be joining you in the promised land.

Uh...

Warren, I didn't have any choice!

That girl Nicole, she would have buried me!

She would have buried both of us!

Warren!

[g*nsh*t]

Okay, sharona, cut it out.

That's enough. We got him.

It's over. It's all over.

Sharona?

Let's go! Get everybody out of here!

Go, go! Go! Go!

[g*nsh*t]

[g*nsh*t]

Oh, my god, it's Sykes.

He's here.

Sykes? What's he doing here?

I think he and Gavin are having some kind of contract dispute.

[g*nsh*t]

[Siren in distance]

(Sharona) He's leaving.

I'm gonna follow him.

(Monk) Where are you going?

Sharona, just stay put.

He's stashing his g*n.

He's going downstairs.

All right, just stay put.

Stay right where you are.

Who does she think she is?

I don't know. Lois Lane.

He's in the boiler room.

Sharona, I can't hear you. I've lost you.

[Sirens]

Okay, we've got him. Block it off.

Cover every door, every window.

He's not coming out.

What? No.

He expects you to cover the street.

He's got some other way. He has a plan.

How do you know that?

'Cause he's smart.

Sharona. Keep an eye on him.

Go in back.

How many guys you got in the back?

(Sharona) Monk, he's going through a door.

I think it's a tunnel. I'm gonna follow him.

On three, let's go, let's go! Everybody up!

We'll find him, monk, if we secure the exits, then we work top to bottom.

Give me that.

What about sharona? He might have sharona?

We'll take care of sharona. Now just stay here.

Monk, can you hear... [Loud clang]

[Gasps]

[Clears throat]

Monk.

Ehh!

[Groans]

[Whispering] Adrian, can you hear me?

I can't hear you.

[Coughs]

[Groans]

[Coughs]

[Groans]

[Whimpers]

Monk, where are...

[gasps]

Oh, great. A hostage.

(Sharona) Help!

[Groaning in disgust]

[Sharona gasping]

We've got the upstairs secured.

Good, now do the basement, and watch your back.

Uh, captain, have you seen monk?

No, why?

He's, uh, got my g*n.

[Sharona screams]

[Sign splashes in water]

[Splash echoes]

[Sharona screams]

[Sharona whimpers]

[Squeaks]

[Whimpers]

[Monk wails]

Help! Help, help!

Help!

[Groans]

[Pants]

(Monk) Hold it!

I have a g*n!

Sykes, hold it!

Aah! Stop it!

[Water rushes]

[Groans]

sh**t him!

I'm not bluffing!

[Weakly] I have a g*n.

Oh!

Aah! Stop it!

[Sharona gasps]

[Sharona screams]

[Groaning in disgust]

(Sharona) Will you sh**t him?!

Aah!

Let her go, Sykes.

[Grunts]

Let... let her go!

[g*nsh*t]

[Sharona whimpers]

Monk!

[g*nsh*t]

(Sharona) What the hell were you thinking?

(Monk) You kept saying, sh**t him, sh**t him!

(Sharona) Adrian, ugh! I could have been k*lled!

(Monk) I knew what I was doing!

I was aiming high!

He's, like, 20 feet tall!

What if you missed? You could have missed!

Oh, right.

How could I have missed? The guy's king Kong.

What if it ricocheted?

Well, that... that's true. I didn't think of that.

Hello?

Snowmen.

[Indistinct chatter]

Shh! Give me the g*n, give me the g*n.

[Indistinct police radio dispatch]

Here he is.

Come and meet a genuine hero.

Mr. Monk, on behalf of myself, Miranda, and the city of San Francisco, I want to thank you.

Well done.

Well done.

Over here, sir, please.

One question to, uh...

Mr. Monk, what next?

What's next for you...

Please, Mr. Monk, over here, please.

Mr. Monk!

[Voices fade]

My son wants your autograph.

Really. No, no, you're his hero.

He... he put your picture up on the wall.

Oh, well, I'd be happy to meet the boy, but anybody would have done the same thing.

I don't know about that, Adrian.

I mean, there were 20 cops at that scene.

Nobody did what you did.

Oh, well...

You know, I think we're making some real progress here, and I think... I think it might be time that I talk to the department about reinstatement.

Would you like that?

I can't promise anything.

No, I understand.

I can only make a recommendation, okay?

I understand. All right.

And they might want you to meet with some other doctors.

No problem.

All right, but it's not gonna be that easy, Adrian.

I mean, there's gonna be more testing.

Oh, yeah, let's do it.

I want to take them right now.

I mean it, I want to take them right now.

All right, all right.

[Woman coughing]

Going down?

[Coughing]

See you next week.

Okay.

[Woman blowing her nose]

How'd it go?

Hmm. You know.

Ah, don't worry. We'll get 'em next time.

Come on, I'll make you some dinner.

Oh, yeah, it's Tuesday.

Tuesday night is chicken pot pie.

You know, actually, I thought we'd try something a little different this week.

I'm... i'm... I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

Just kidding.

Adrian, you missed one.

4...

5... [Giggles]

6...

[Giggles] 7...

8...

9...

10...

[Chuckles] 11...

12.