01x03 - The Big Sleep

[bunniefuu]

chris: last time on total drama island,

campers arrived and learned that they'll be spending

the next eight weeks at a crusty old summer camp.

the campers were faced with their first challenge,

jumping off a cliff into shark-infested waters.

and while most campers took the plunge,

a few were forced to wear the dreaded chicken hat.

at the campfire ceremony,

it all came down to two campers.

courtney has experience as a c.i.t. In summer camp

but refused to jump,

and ezekiel managed to tick off every female

contestant at the camp with his sexist comments

about women.

in the end, the first camper voted off total drama island

was ezekiel,

proving that home schooling and reality t.v.

don't really mix.

Who will be voted off this week in the most dramatic

Campfire ceremony yet?

Find out tonight on total drama island.

(Air horn blowing)

Ow!

It's : in the morning.

Do I look like a farmer to you?

(Rock music playing faintly)

(Growling)

Morning!

Hope you slept well.

Hi, chris.

You look really buff in those shorts.

I know.

Okay, I hope you're all ready because your next challenge

Begins in exactly one minute.

Oh, excuse me.

I don't know if that's enough time to eat breakfast.

Oh, you'll get breakfast, owen,

Right after you complete

Your kilometer run around the lake.

Oh, so you're funny now.

You know, what I think would be funny--

Eva, try to control your temper.

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

A little.

You have seconds.

Okay, that girl eva has got to get a handle on her temper.

She's only been here one day and she's already thrown her

Suitcase out a window and broken the lock

On one of the bathroom doors.

Okay, runners!

On your marks, get set, go!

Do you know how much longer?

Don't walk beside me.

Do you mind?

I don't run.

And I definitely don't run in high-heel wedges.

Can't...catch...

Breath...must...

Have...condition.

Yeah, it's called overeating.

-Look into it. -What's your excuse?

You skinny, annoying...

Ooh, I'm too tired for insults.

Pick it up, people!

If you're not back by dinnertime, you don't eat!

Ugh. I hate him so much.

Clear a table, stat!

Oh, we made it.

What took you so long?

we just lost the challenge.

I think I'm having heart palpitations.

Hey, wait a minute.

If they lost, that means we won the challenge.

(Cheering)

Whoa, there! Hold your horses, guys.

That wasn't the challenge.

What did he just say?

Who's hungry?

After a whole week of brown sludge,

I almost cried when I saw that buffet.

And then I saw it, the buffet table.

It was beautiful.

There was turkey

And nanaimo bars

And baked beans in maple syrup.

Could I have a minute?

(Crying)

(All groaning)

Okay, campers!

Time for part two of your challenge.

I thought eating was the second part.

What more do you want from us?

Weird goth girl is right.

Haven't we been through enough?

Um, let me think about that.

No! It's time for the awake-a-thon!

The what-a-thon?

Don't worry, this is an easy one.

The team with the last camper standing wins invincibility.

So what you're saying is the k run

And the turkey-eating frenzy

Were part of your evil plan to make it harder

For us to stay awake?

That's right, gwen.

Man, he's good.

Move! Move! Move!

So how long do you think

It'll be before everyone's out cold?

About an hour, give or take.

Maybe less.

(Vultures screaming)

chris: we are now hours in with all campers

Still wide awake.

Woo-hoo!

Stay awake for hours?

I can do that in my sleep.

Woo-hoo!

The awake-a-thon was definitely the most brutal thing

I've ever done in my life.

(Yawning)

This is the most boring thing I've ever done in my life.

(Yawning)

Could be way worse.

Oh, yeah? How?

I could be stuck here without you to talk to.

So, my strategy is to get two other campers

To form an alliance with me and take to the final three.

The only question is, who can I find that is either

Desperate or dumb enough to do whatever I say?

gwen: what are you doing?

Trying to get the blood to rush to my head.

I think it's working.

Can I try?

Sure.

Perfect. Lindsay, beth, can I talk to you for a sec?

Sure.

Okay, I have a plan to get me and two other people

Into the final three, and I chose you guys.

Really?

You should know that this is a very big deal.

I am placing my trust in you, and trust is a two-way street.

So you'll do everything I say, then?

Sure.

Eee! We're going to the final three!

lindsay: eee!

Oh, my gosh!

Heather's taking me to the final three!

I'm going to the final three! I'm going to the final three!

I wonder what will happen then?

Speaking of alliances,

You know who I think is really cute?

Oh, no. No, no, no.

You can't date him.

Why not?

Because he's on the other team. Uh-huh...

You can't inter-team date.

It's, like, against the alliance rules.

There are rules?

Remember what I just said about trust, lindsay?

Of course, you can always leave the alliance.

If you do, though,

I can't protect you from getting kicked off.

No, I want to be in the alliance.

Good. Then it's settled.

Heather said I couldn't date him.

She never said I couldn't like him.

I'm going to the bathroom.

Isn't that eva's mp player?

Yep.

Well, isn't she gonna get,

Like, really mad when she realizes it's gone?

That's exactly what I'm counting on.

(Roaring)

(Screaming)

chris: congratulations, campers.

You've made it to the -hour mark.

Time to take things up a notch.

Fairy tales.

Oh, he's not serious!

(Growling)

Once upon a time,

There was inside this boring kingdom...

(Yawning)

chris: a boring village.

and inside this boring, sleepy village,

filled with very boring children

who did very boring things...

(Farting)

Huh?

Tim-ber.

I figured that if I kept moving,

I could outlast all of them.

I just had to keep my eye on the ball.

(Panting)

We should talk about our strategy.

Huh?

heather: beth?

Okay, favorite song?

She would be loved.

Favorite color?

Midnight blue.

Ooh, mysterious.

I like that.

Don't fall asleep.

Okay, quick, favorite movie moment?

You're gonna think it's cheesy.

I promise I won't.

Okay, the kiss at the end of that road-trip movie.

You know the one with the guy and the three girls?

I know the one.

(Chuckling) you like that movie?

Did I mention that I ate the entire dish of baked beans

And maple syrup?

Funny thing about baked beans,

They make me sleepwalk.

(Snorting)

Oh, cool.

They even fall asleep together.

You still awake?

Yeah.

It's weird, but I think I'm so tired

I'm not tired anymore.

Does that make sense?

I really have no idea.

Where's the little dipper again?

See the big dipper?

follow the handle to that bright star,

the pole star, and it's right there.

Aah, cool.

(Water splashing)

gwen: look at him.

he's like a statue.

he hasn't moved in over hours.

Hello!

Yip, yip, yip, yip!

Amazing!

Look at the concentration.

(Gasping)

His eyelids are painted.

I saw it!

Shut up.

Oh, I've got to see this.

That is so freaking cool!

But you're still out, dude.

(Sighing)

Oh, gross, it works!

Dude peed his pants!

(Gasping)

(Screaming)

I'd k*ll for a coffee right now.

What is the matter with you people?

Come on, fall asleep already.

You got to hook me up, man.

I'll even eat the grinds.

Anything.

All right, you five stay with me.

The rest of you go and get a shower, for heaven's sake.

You stink!

I didn't want it to come to this.

I said that to chef hatchet last night.

I said, "chef, I don't want it to come to this."

But darn it, these campers are tough.

And so I've come up with the most boring,

Sleep-inducing activity I can find.

Oh, come on.

What now?

Okay, you know what?

Bring it on.

The history of canada. A pop-up book.

Chapter one.

The beaver, national symbol and a "dam" fine hat.

(Groaning)

Stink!

Which, of course, was the precursor

For the discussions leading to the w*r of .

Trent.

(slow motion scream) no-o-o-!

Don't leave me.

Time for a bathroom break.

Any takers?

I've held it this long, sweetheart.

I can go all day.

Yeah, but can you hold it for another chapters?

You've got minutes,

Long as you don't mind a little company.

Fine, but stay out of the stall.

(Sighing)

chris: duncan, you in there, man?

(Flies buzzing)

And we have news.

It looks like duncan's taken a dive on the can,

Which means the official winner of the awake-a-thon

Is...

Gwen!

The screaming gophers win!

(Eva screaming)

eva: where is my mp player?

One of you must have stolen it!

I need my music!

No one is going anywhere until I get my mp player back.

Okay, whoever took it better give it up now

Before she destroys the whole camp.

Hey, guys.

Wow, this place is a real mess.

Someone stole eva's mp player.

You don't mean this, do you?

i was wondering who it belonged to.

I found it by the campfire pit.

You must have dropped it.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Sure thing.

Turn a team against their own members?

Easiest trick in the book.

So, sorry about that little misunderstanding.

guess no one stole it after all.

Okay, maybe I overreacted a little.

(Chuckling)

You've all cast your votes and made your decision.

there are only nine marshmallows on this plate.

When I call your name,

Come up and claim your marshmallow.

the camper who does not receive a marshmallow

must immediately return to the dock of shame,

Catch the boat of losers, and leave.

And you can never come back, ever.

The first marshmallow goes to duncan.

bridgette.

Courtney.

Katie and sadie.

Both: yay!

Tyler.

dj.

geoff.

Campers,

This is the final marshmallow of the evening.

Harold.

Eva,

The dock of shame awaits.

Nice. Really nice.

Who needs this stupid t.v. Show, anyway?

Ow!

Have a good night's sleep tonight.

You're all safe.

See? I told you.

You can't act like a total raging psychopath

And then expect people to just forgive you,

No matter how tough and strong and fast you are.

She's never gonna have a career

If she doesn't get her act together.

So, eva was one of their strongest players,

And now she's gone.

I am so running this game.

courtney: buh-bye, eva.

Touchy!

I guess my temper got the better of me. Again.

But whatever, they just lost their fiercest competitor.

I hope they realize that.

To the k*ller bass

And to not ending up here again next week.

(Snoring)