[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Whatever happened to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman The paper boy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ How did I get to living it here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This old world confusin' me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean as you've ever seen ♪
♪ There ain't a bird who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪ ♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪ ♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪ ♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Doobie do bah bah dah ♪
[instrumental music]
The channel 8 action news at 4:00 will be right back with Danny Tanner and all the sports.
You'll see grunting, you'll see sweat and when I'm done doing that I'll read the scores.
We've gone to commercial.
Great. Thank you, Derek.
Robin! Hi! How'd your interview go?
Wait. Don't tell me. Mr. Morton loved you.
And you're our new field reporter.
And if you are, are you making more money than me?
[laughs] Yeah, right.
My first reporting job making more money than you?
I haven't even met Mr. Morton yet.
He's still at lunch.
He is gonna love you.
It'll be so great to have you here..
...unless you make more money than me.
(Derek) 'Tanner.'
Warriors just made a trade.
I'll be right there.
Let's move it!
In a second, Derek.
Why don't you come over for dinner tonight?
Sounds great. I'll check into my hotel and be right‐‐ Hotel? For my old pal Robin? Uh‐uh.
You're checking in at the Tanner Hilton.
I'll put a new paper strip over the toilet.
You'll be all set.
Tanner, move, move, move!
Derek, do you need me for something?
Have mercy.
'Michelle, look at her.'
'She's beautiful.'
Alright, kid. Do your thing.
Alright, Michelle..
...beam her in.
Oh! She is so adorable.
Here she comes, Michelle.
You're better than a Ferrari.
Hi, there, little angel.
‐ Hello. ‐ Hello.
Oh, I was just thinking that this has got to be the cutest little baby I've ever seen.
Oh, you think she's cute now? Watch this.
[blows a raspberry]
Go ahead. Try it.
‐ Are you sure? ‐ 'Yeah, go.'
‐ Okay. ‐ 'Try it.'
[blows a raspberry]
My niece Michelle really likes you.
It's a pleasure to meet..
...you, Michelle.
I'm Robin Winslow.
Oh, Michelle wants you to know that my name's Jesse Cochran.
'What, Michelle?'
Excuse me a sec.
[sighs] I know this is kind of embarrassing and we just met and all, but Michelle thinks that the three of us are having such a good time that maybe the three of us should get together for a romantic evening of dinner and dancing.
Oh. Well, listen.
I've got to get settled in tonight but if tomorrow night's good how about maybe the three of us meeting here around 6:00?
‐ Darn. ‐ Darn?
Michelle's got tickets to the opera tomorrow night.
But I suppose you and I could still go out.
Well, I don't know.
Only if it's alright with Michelle.
Oh, it's fin..
Let me ask. Is it okay, Michelle?
Is it okay?
Michelle says it's okay.
So should we seal it with a kiss?
For Michelle, of course.
Of course.
Michelle, give her a kiss.
Michelle thinks you have beautiful eyes.
I think Michelle's been hanging around too many single's bars.
Bye, Michelle.
Bye, Jesse.
Ah‐ha‐ha‐ha! What a team.
(Derek) Stand by! On the air in 15 seconds!
Danny, listen. I've got an audition for a big gig and Joey's running the girls around town so you have to take Michelle.
Yeah, but I..
And now, here with all the sports our very own Danny Tanner.
Hello.
Uh, I'd like to introduce a new addition to the sports segment.
My daughter, Michelle Michelle is here to pick tonight's NBA winners.
Okay, honey, who do you think is gonna win?
Do you think The Warriors can beat the Nuggets tonight?
Yes, Michelle picks The Warriors.
By how many points, honey? Five points.
Yes. See that? One point, maybe.
One point.
Five points.
Thank you, Michelle, The Greek.
D.J., I remember you when you were...that big.
Do you remember me at all?
Sure, I do.
You're the one who..
...looked like you.
‐ Ha ha ha! ‐ Right.
It's okay, Deej. You were only five.
I'm only 5.
Does that mean I'm gonna forget all of this?
Probably.
I should be taking notes.
[rice sizzles]
Now, Michelle, if anyone asks you I made this dinner completely by myself.
You never saw these take‐out cartons.
But I see 'em.
Ha ha ha! Hi.
Joey! Joey! Joey!
Steph, I'm tired of getting a hard time because I'm not the world's greatest cook.
Don't worry, Joey.
I'm not the world's greatest anything.
Now, that is not true.
You are the world's greatest Stephanie and that's a lot.
Thanks, Joey.
And don't worry I'll keep your secret.
But watch her..
...she's a blabbermouth.
Okay, why don't you go tell everyone I'm almost through cooking.
Okay. Alright. Thank you.
I'll just get rid of the evidence.
[knock on door]
Hi, Joey.
Hi, Jill.
Yeah, I am just cooking up a storm here.
Is Jesse home yet?
Jill, are you dating Jesse again?
Yeah, well, we never really stopped.
See, if we don't have a date with anybody else we sort of have a date with each other.
Unbelievable.
Even when he doesn't have a date, he has a date.
Go on. Get out of here.
Hello, everybody.
Jesse.
Robin, I'd like you to meet my brother‐in‐law, Jesse.
Jesse, this is Robin.
She was a news writer at my first station.
‐ Hello. ‐ Hi.
‐ Hi. ‐ Hi.
Any day now, they'll get to "Nice to meet you."
We're going out tomorrow, right?
Absolutely.
Boy, does he work fast.
We met at the station.
Oh. Jesse, I hope you don't mind but I‐I invited Robin to stay here this weekend and I thought she could stay in your room.
God bless you.
Of course, that means you'll be moving in with‐‐ No, no, no, no. Don't say it.
Please don't say the "J" word.
Ding ding ding! Come on!
Soup's on! Hey, plenty of grub for everybody!
Hyah! Keep them doggies rolling!
Go on, grab a beef hoof, Danny! Go on, hyah!
Hi, roomie!
Hi, Jesse.
Hi, Jill.
Hi, Jill? Hi, Jill!
Oh, you didn't forget about our date tonight, did you?
Uh, no. No, of course not. We're going right now.
Let's go, let's go get something to eat.
‐ Shall we? ‐ Wait. Don't go.
I spent hours cooking a delicious Chinese meal.
Yum! I love Chinese!
I better check on my egg rolls.
You better protect your egg rolls.
Have a seat, roomie!
So, Robin, this is my friend Jill.
Jill, this is my other friend Robin.
Yes, friends meeting friends having a nice, friendly dinner of friendship, if you will.
Jill and I have already met but it's nice to meet you again.
In fact, Jill was telling me that you two have a date tonight.
Yeah, can you believe he got off this cheap?
But he's so cute. How could you not love him?
So, let's see what Joseph's cooked up for us tonight, shall we? Oh, look at this food.
‐ Joey, it smells great. ‐ Mmm.
‐ Mmm. ‐ It is good.
Thank you, I guess that's the last we'll hear about Joey being a bad cook.
You know, it tastes a little like the Lo mien at Uncle Wu's Chinese palace.
‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ Yes, it does.
Except it's much better.
Thank you, Stephanie.
So sweetie, what movie should we see tonight?
Uh‐uh...we‐we'll decide on the way.
So, D. J., how was your day at school?
Fine.
Uh, uh, Steph, h‐how was your day at school today?
Fine.
Normally, you can't shut 'em up.
Daniel, you have an exciting career.
How was your day at work today?
Fine.
Mmm, this food is yum.
You know, Jesse and I met in a Chinese restaurant.
I don't think they wanna hear about that, Jill.
Oh, I'd love to.
Now she talks.
Well, Jesse came in to pick up a take‐out order with baby Michelle.
There's something about a man with a baby that's so sexy and so...hard to resist.
Oh, it's becoming easier.
You use my baby to meet women?
Michelle, tomorrow you're coming with me to the market.
Once Jesse got me to kiss the baby, I was hooked.
Really? Did you blow on her tummy too?
Yeah, the first time I met her.
How did you know?
[chuckles] Just some crazy hunch.
Uncle Jesse, is the food too spicy for you?
No, why?
Because you're sweating b*ll*ts.
[instrumental music]
(Robin) 'And turning to local news' substantial rainfall at key northern watersheds has eliminated the‐‐
‐ Hello! Hello! Hello! ‐ Hey, Jess.
Hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Oh, not at all, Robin and I were just working on her audition piece.
Great. Listen, this will just take a few minutes.
I need to talk to Robin privately, please.
Sounds like my cue.
Uh, no, Danny, don't go.
Jesse, if this is about Jill there's nothing to explain.
Yes, there is, I want you to know that there's nothing between us.
Jesse, we just met!
There is no reason in the world why you should feel bad about having a date tonight.
Great, so we're still going out tomorrow night?
Well, you know, I've been thinking about this and it's probably not a good idea.
I should be focusing on my career.
Did I hear you say you're breaking our date?
Did I just hear Michelle?
Danny, don't go. Yes, Jesse.
I'm sorry, but I am. I'm breaking our date.
‐ No. ‐ Yes.
No.
Yes.
Jesse, she's breaking the date.
No.
(together) Yes.
The truth is, seeing you and Jill together it made me realize I've been out with you before.
Not in this life.
Oh, I.. In a past life.
We doubled with Shirley Maclaine and King Tut, right?
Okay, that was very cute.
See, I'm cute now. You think I'm cute now.
I am adorable on a date. Tell her.
He's a fox.
What I meant is, I've been out with..
...your type before and it always gets me into trouble, Jesse.
Oh, I'm a type!
I'm sure there's someplace else I have to be.
Sit down!
You don't wanna miss this. She's about to tell me about my type.
Go ahead, go ahead. Type away.
Alright.
I'll tell you exactly what your type is.
You're the guitar‐playing, leather‐wearing Elvis‐loving, motorcycle‐riding girl‐chasing, blow‐drying baby‐toting tough‐guy type. How's that?
Lucky guess.
‐ But you got me. ‐ Yeah.
'You got me on that one.'
Robin, sit down.
See, I'm other types too. I'm..
I'm‐I'm the romantic type.
I'm, uh, I'm the compassionate type.
I'm the type that's attracted to your type.
Really?
Is anyone aware of the fact that I'm still in the room?
‐ Excuse me. ‐ Uh, Danny.
Don't you dare leave now.
Jesse, there's one more thing about your type.
I will take bets that you have not had a relationship last for more than 3 months.
Am I right or am I right?
‐ Wrong! ‐ Wrong?
Wrong, I was madly in love with this girl named Sharon...uh, Sharon.
‐ Edwards. ‐ Edwards. Sharon Edwards.
I was madly in love with Sharon Edwards for four beautiful months.
I remember her.
Didn't she spend two of those beautiful months in Europe?
Get out. Get out. Get out of here!
Yes, I can leave now. Ha! Ha!
I'm off now to patch up that pesky Iran‐Iraq squabble.
[sighs]
The truth?
I'm afraid of getting hurt again.
Guys like you and I, we never work out because we're totally different people.
Yes, but Robin, that's the exciting part.
That's the beauty of this thing.
We're like...like fire and ice, you and me.
Do you know what you get with fire and ice?
Yeah...steam.
A puddle! Goodnight, Jesse.
Well, that's it. I'm not taking no for an answer.
I'm not going out with you. Goodnight.
But thank you very much for letting me use your room.
I'm kicking you out of your own room.
‐ Oh, thank you very much. ‐ You're welcome very much.
And don't touch any of my records!
Hi.
We were just, uh..
...talking and‐‐ Oh, it's‐it's none of our business.
We were all just passing in the hall at the exact same time.
Uncle Jesse, you really like her, huh?
No, I don't like her.
I'll admit at first there was a wee bit of an attraction.
[sighs] Yes, I really like her.
This is the worst breakup ever in my whole entire life.
And I haven't even been out with her yet.
[instrumental music]
Fellas, look. I'm alright.
It's over. Her loss. I'm moving on.
You can't fool your roomie.
Joseph, why don't you believe me?
Because you were up almost the whole night singing "Heartbreak Hotel" in your sleep.
Jesse, you always rush into everything.
Why don't you just slow down?
Let her get to know you. Be her friend first.
Friends are what you're forced to become after you break up.
Look, guys, it doesn't matter, okay? I'm fine.
Oh, yeah? Is that why you just served me the leaning tower of French toast?
You look thin.
Oh, and I suppose I'm King Kong Bundy?
You're getting so pretty.
Can I help you with your nails?
Sure, D. J., just try to stay above the cuticles, okay?
Are there any other parts on your body that I can help with?
Ah, would you like to brush my hair?
Alright! Much better than nails.
When you get the job and move here..
...you can come visit us all the time.
And date Uncle Jesse.
Well, I would love to see the two of you but you know, I wouldn't count on me dating your Uncle Jesse.
You know, David and Maddie on "Moonlighting" didn't like each other at first, either.
Uncle Jesse's a great catch.
He can sing.
And he gives fun piggyback rides.
He's got an awesome head of hair.
And he teaches you to ride a 2‐wheeler without training wheels.
As long as you don't ride in the street.
Oh, you know, you two are so sweet.
I only hope someday that I have nieces just like you.
Marry Uncle Jesse and you will.
'Good morning, girls.'
‐ 'Morning. Morning.' ‐ Hi, Robin.
Good morning, Jesse.
Come on, girls, I'll give you a ride to school in my bug‐mobile.
Shotgun!
No fair. I gotta get my milk money.
Okay. Hurry up, kid. I'll wait for you.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what?
Let me see! Let me see! Let me see!
Aw, uh, uh, oh! You're in luck.
It just so happens that I went to finger college, okay?
Now in order to treat your finger I've got to know what color the pain is.
'What you have to do is close your eyes' put your finger on your nose and that way we can tell what color the pain is.
Come on, do it. I'm the finger doctor.
Okay, very good. Now, what color is the pain?
It's kind of green.
It's kind of green? Any other colors?
How about polka dots?
Yeah, there's polka dots. Blue ones.
Blue ones. Any stripes?
No stripes.
Oh, good! That's good.
Because stripes are dangerous.
'Alright, this is easy to diagnose.'
Nine out of ten doctors will agree that we can solve the pain by opening your eyes and taking your finger off your nose.
It's gone. Thanks, Uncle Jesse.
Alright. No charge.
We'll put it on your father's medical insurance.
You're wasting your time k*lling bugs.
Come on. I'll give you a piggyback ride.
Here we go! Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!
Up!
Good luck today. What a guy, huh?
And there were no fights in hockey today.
Finally, Michelle would like to thank all of you for your calls asking her to be a regular on the 4 o'clock sports.
Yesterday, Michelle picked the warriors by five.
And son of a g*n.
Son of a g*n if they didn't win 106‐101.
But I'm afraid Michelle is retiring as odds maker.
That's right, to resume her former career of eating learning to talk, and burping.
[laughs]
Well, that's sports.
This is Danny and Michelle Tanner saying bye‐bye and bye‐bye.
So long, San Francisco..
...until 6:00. See you then.
(Derek) 'We're off the air.'
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
Jesse, thanks for picking up Michelle.
No problem. Everybody has a purpose in life.
Mine is chauffeuring around little babies.
‐ Keep up the good work. ‐ Okay.
"Substantial rainfall in key northern watersheds
"has eliminated the threat of cutbacks
"in water deliveries next year
"to municipal and industrial users in northern California. Now, what does this‐‐"
Hi! Hi!
What? What is it, Jesse?
Well, Michelle was just, uh, saying how interesting it was.
Don't do that Michelle business, please.
You didn't like it. Be honest.
How do I say this without hurting your feelings?
It put me to sleep.
That's not how you'd say it.
Robin, you have something special inside you.
You gotta let it out. You gotta show some energy.
Auditions scare me to death.
You have to have fun, I mean, you know?
You have to have fun, like the kid.
You can't be afraid to get crazy.
Let me show you. Let me show you What I'm talking about? Here.
‐ Okay. ‐ Hold the baby. Come here.
It's gotta be something like this.
Okay.
Hello, San Francisco. How the heck are you?
Jesse Cochran here, for the channel ocho news.
Today's top story is wet and wild. Get this.
"There has been substantial rainfall in key northern watersheds." What does that mean?
No more having to beg for water in restaurants.
Take longer showers. Wash your car every day.
And hey, yank that brick out of the toilet, huh?
San Francisco, the good life is back.
We've got water coming out our ears!
"For municipal and industrial users
"in Northern California, have mercy.
You see? That's it. You've got to laugh.
You've got to smile.
That's what you have to put into your audition.
'We've got to beef up security in here.'
'Miss Winslow, you're on.'
She's beautiful. She's intelligent. She's charming.
Everything that I want in a newswoman.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Miss Robin Winslow.
Give me the kid.
Thank you, young man..
...whoever he was. I don't know.
Hello, San Francisco. This is Robin Winslow.
Channel Eight news.
"Substantial rainfall in key northern watersheds
"has eliminated..
To Robin, Channel Eight's newest field reporter.
(together) Alright!
And to all of you for all of your help, thank you.
You're welcome.
What did you do?
I don't know.
But when somebody says thank you you're supposed to say, "you're welcome."
Jesse, can I have a word with you?
Sure. Will you excuse us?
You're excused. I love being polite.
I just wanted to thank you for all your help.
Hey, I'm happy to do it.
Which part helped you out the most?
Oh, I'd have to say it was your insane newscast.
It was so awful, it made me look terrific.
That was all part of my plan.
I was wrong about you.
You're different than all the other "yous" I've dated before but do you know what I like most?
Hmm. Let's see.
How about my love for adventure?
Uh, the way I live my life on the edge?
Your strong maternal instincts.
The words I've been dying to hear from a woman.
Oh, boy, how did this happen?
I never even used to like kids until I talked to one.
Well, you've got a terrific family here.
Those girls really adore you.
And I'm beginning to see why.
Listen, Robin, I'm not the type of guy that just rushes into relationships, okay?
I think you and I should become friends.
I'd like that.
Good. So we'll just be friends. Period.
You've got it, buddy.
Alright, pal.
But listen, now if you want to go beyond this friendship thing you're gonna have to make the first move, okay?
'cause it's not gonna be me.
I understand that.
Let's get back to the party. Come on.
Robin, I'm curious, if you did happen to make that first move, what would it be?
I mean, I‐I would hate to miss it.
Trust me, if I made a move, you'd know it.
Okay, pal?
Okay, little buddy.
Was that a move?
Did your toes curl?
Yeah. Does that mean you're making a move?
No, when I make a move..
...everything curls.
Have mercy!
[theme music]