[theme music]
♪ What ever happened to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman the paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ How did I get to livin' here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This old world's confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean as you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there and you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin' to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
Wish daddy luck, honey.
It's a big night.
Daddy's getting a tryout as color man for the big fight.
Cable TV.
Nationwide.
Yes, I see how impressed you are.
Oh.
There you go.
Dada.
Michelle, I'd love to give you a hug but 20 million people will be watching me and I'd just as soon them not see your cookies on my shoulder.
Ohh.
Do you promise everything inside of you is gonna stay inside of you?
[gurgling]
Okay.
[burp]
That's a preview, isn't it?
Okay. Baby dribble guard.
Come here.
[singing]
Ah, cool. Yes. Alright. Alright.
[clears throat]
May I help you?
Well, Jesse, what do you think?
You plan on burping one of the boxers?
A good sportscaster is ready for anything.
Very nice. Alright, listen, I picked up the perfect tune for the lyrics here.
This is really cool. Listen to this song.
♪ You left me for another ♪
♪ Walked right out the door ♪
♪ I thought that you loved me ♪
♪ What good is my heart for ♪
♪ On top of old Smokey ♪
♪ All covered with snow ♪
You realize there are only seven notes.
Oh, Beethoven was right when he said
"It don't come easy."
Beethoven said, "It don't come easy?"
Well, he said it in German, you know.
Alright, Danny, I'm ready.
I want you. Poof!
I want you. Poof poof!
Second round, you goin' down.
Poof poof poof poof!
Sorry, I'll‐I'll behave.
You are such a baby.
Long‐haired hippie punk.
Danny, I got to tell you, I am so proud of you.
Ever since you were sports editor of our high school newspaper..
...you had that dream.
The one about Sharon Campbell?
No, not that dream.
Every guy in high school had that dream.
No, I mean your dream about making it as a sportscaster.
Tonight, you go from local news to coast‐to‐coast.
Knock 'em dead.
Thanks. And your dream about being a comic?
I promise you, one day I won't be the only one who thinks you're funny.
We got it! Hold on. Don't go yet.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
We got you some stuff for you for good luck.
‐ Guess what this is. ‐ A tie.
Steph, you knew.
Oh, yeah.
Daddy, now you guess.
I‐I give up.
It's a tie, remember?
Aw.
Oh ho ho! A tie!
I'm so surprised.
This is beautiful.
I'm gonna wear this tonight.
I got you a surprise, too, daddy.
Oh, I love surprises.
Oh, this is great.
Thank you for the, um..
This is great.
That's the most beautiful one of those I've ever seen.
Try it on, daddy.
Of course, I'm gonna try it on.
Oh, uh..
Isn't that a cool tie tack, dad?
God bless you.
Steph, I love this.
‐ Thank you, girls. ‐ You're welcome.
Alright, I finally got it.
This baby is hit‐bound. Listen to this.
[clears throat]
♪ You left me for another ♪
♪ Walked right out the door ♪
♪ I thought that you loved me ♪
♪ What good is my heart for ♪
♪ This land is your land ♪
♪ This land is my land ♪
♪ From California ♪
♪ To the New York island ♪ Everybody, sing along.
♪ From the Redwood forests ♪
♪ To the gulfstream waters ♪ Alright, coming right up, girls. Get some snacks first.
Hurry up. Dad's almost on.
We're gonna watch him in our room.
Alright.
‐ Don't forget the ice‐cream. ‐ Okay.
Right.
Got it.
‐ 'And the bowls and spoons!' ‐ Bowls and spoons.
How can you eat ice‐cream without bowls and spoons?
Alright.
'And licorice!'
Licorice.
Alright.
Licorice.
'Red licorice!'
Got it.
'And fruit!'
Fruit.
Okay.
Get some fruit.
‐ Huh. ‐ 'And milk.'
Some milk.
Got it.
'Don't forget to shut the door!'
Shut the door.
The licorice and the milk.
'And we need peanut butter'
'and jelly and bread and carrots.'
[panting]
Alright, girls. This oughta get us through the first two rounds.
Uncle Jesse, we changed our minds.
We're gonna watch the fight downstairs.
Freeze, ankle‐biters.
This is as far as your Uncle Lunch Wagon goes.
Ooh, it's Uncle Bad Attitude.
I guess this is a bad time to mention you forgot the carrots.
Yes, bad time.
Help me out here.
‐ Come on, grab that. ‐ Jess, quick.
‐ I need you in the nursery. ‐ Okay.
Let me give you a hand with this.
Thanks.
What is happening to my life?
Michelle, please don't be sick.
Alright, what's the problem?
I heard Michelle cough.
[sighs]
Here. Kid, you okay?
She's cool.
It's time.
Daddy's gonna be on right after the underarm commercial.
Alright. We're coming.
Jess, I didn't like the sound of that cough.
We should bring Michelle with us.
Joey, you got to realize, babies cough, man.
Babies dribble, babies barf.
I think of them as little tiny teenagers.
Come on, Michelle. Come on.
Come on, pal.
You okay?
You okay?
[Michelle coughs]
You girls ever hear that cough before?
It sounds like a hair ball.
Come on, Steph. Babies don't get hair..
Do babies get hair balls?
(man on TV) 'And now, live from San Francisco'
'a special boxing presentation.'
'Here's Danny Tanner.'
‐ Yay! ‐ Yay!
Good evening, boxing fans. I'm Danny Tanner.
‐ There you go, come on. ‐ I'm Danny Tanner.
‐ Back up, back up. You got him. ‐ I am Danny Tanner.
Now, I'm really Danny Tanner and welcome to tonight's fight.
We're in the training room of former heavyweight champion of the world, Reggie "The Sandman" Martin.
Only moments away from the Sandman's first attempt on the comeback trail to reclaim his heavyweight crown.
And here he is now.
Well, champ, how you feeling?
I feel good! I feel strong!
I feel like hittin' somebody. Huh!
But not me, right?
That depends on the question.
Okay, no pressure here.
Well, champ, the obvious question...why the comeback?
You've got plenty of money in the bank.
Heck, you own a bank.
You've been retired for two years. What is it?
Do you miss wearing the shorts?
‐ No, no, you see‐‐ ‐ It's pride.
It's pride and respect.
The champ wants to go down as the greatest fighter in the history of boxing.
Are you sure it's not the $6 million?
Okay. I miss wearing the shorts.
My tie tack!
‐ Yay! ‐ Yay!
I know why I'm wearing the cup.
But, now, why are you wearing a saucer?
Oh, this? This is a gift from my daughter Stephanie.
And the tie is a gift from my daughter DJ.
And I have a little baby Michelle, too.
But you can't wear her gifts.
‐ Yay! ‐ Yay!
You probably haven't seen much of your family during these three months of training.
Yeah. Lou runs a pretty tough camp.
The toughest.
Total isolation!
Just me, the Sandman, and misery.
[laughs] No phone calls no women, no nothing.
Look, I‐I'm sorry about that, Marcie.
How you feeling, honey?
I think it's wonderful that you and your wife are still good friends, considering..
Yeah.
Considering what?
‐ You know‐‐ ‐ Yeah, right, champ.
Just loosen up, baby, loosen up.
Hey, hey, hey. The man said "considering."
Considering what?
Uh, considering what happened.
Loosen up, champ, huh? Just loosen‐‐ Hey, if I don't get some information I'm gonna loosen somebody's head.
Now, you said, "It's great we're still friends."
Why wouldn't my wife and I still be friends?
So, about tonight's fight, um..
‐ Let's talk strategy. ‐ Hey, man.
Let's forget about strategy, um..
All I meant was, usually when a woman moves out on a man they stop being friends.
She moved out?
Champ, it's time to fight. Let's go.
Hey, man, you expect me to fight when I just found out my wife walked out on me?
Use it, champ! Use the anger!
Oh, champ, I'm sorry. Oh, boy, am I sorry.
I can't believe you didn't know about this.
You calling me a liar?
Oh, not at all.
Why would I choose those as my last words?
I..
I just figured since the story was in the newspapers and the magazines and the soon‐to‐be TV movie.
She left me?
And sold the rights?
Oh, no, Marcie, baby.
No, no, no, baby, no.
It'll be okay, champ, it‐it'll be okay.
You kind of taken the edge off him, eh, Tanner?
You know, in a way this is kind of a beautiful moment.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
And, Sandman..
...best of luck on tonight's fight.
Fight?
I‐I can't fight.
‐ Come on, champ, you'll fight. ‐ I can't fight now.
You'll fight, champ. You'll fight and knock him out, champ.
You're gonna win it. You're gonna win it, baby.
Why was that man crying?
Well, the man was crying because, uh..
...because your dad made him so happy.
I don't think so.
We'll be back, after this word from anybody but me.
Now what happens?
Well, two guys beat each other up for about 36 minutes, then they get $6 million.
$6 million?
Forget about being a ballerina.
Ah, maybe you girls shouldn't be watching all this v*olence.
Joey's right, Steph.
Let's go watch reruns of the "A‐Team."
[Michelle coughs]
You hear that? She coughed again.
This cough is getting serious.
I'll think of something.
‐ What are you doing? ‐ Calling the baby's doctor.
Good. I knew I'd think of something.
Here.
Hello, Dr. Landress?
You're home?
You answer your own phone?
Are you any good?
Yeah, I'm calling about Michelle Tanner.
She's, um, she's coughing.
Hold on, doc.
He wants to know what kind of cough.
What do you mean, what kind of..
It's a little baby's cough like, you know, like, eh‐eh.
‐ Like that. ‐ No.
Doc, I do impressions for a living.
It was more like, uh, ah‐eh.
Give me the phone.
I'm sorry. We're new parents.
Alright. Come here.
Listen to Michelle cough.
There you go. Cough, Michelle.
Come on, cough. Come on.
It's just like when you take your car to the mechanic.
It never makes that same noise.
Alright.
Her nose? Yeah, it's running like a fountain.
What's coming out of it? Diet cola.
Fever? I don't know.
Of course, I know how to take her temperature.
You simply put the thermometer under her ton..
I put it where?
Joey, it's for you.
To the left and tilt down to the right.
Normal! No temperature.
High five, Michelle.
High five, high five.
High five. Alright.
Okay, well, doctor said no fever means it's a cold
'and we should give her the medicine' that he prescribed for the last cold.
Okay, we got strawberry mousse apricot conditioner..
...honey‐nut rinse.
Can you believe these girls put all this dumb junk in their hair?
It's mine.
'Would you look at that?'
Alright, here it is.
"Michelle Tanner, half a teaspoon. 4 times a day."
‐ Remember that. ‐ Alright, alright.
‐ Give me that. Give me that. ‐ Okay.
The fight's over. They said dad will be back on after these important messages.
Okay.
What are you doing to Michelle?
We're giving your sister some medicine.
That's not the way daddy does it.
Stephanie..
Alright, here you go, Michelle.
[Michelle coos]
Joey, duck!
Well, so much for cough syrup and pureed chicken.
I told you it wouldn't work.
You never serve red cough syrup with poultry.
By the way, if I'm ever sick..
...dial 911.
Daddy's on!
Okay. Come on.
Well, fans, you saw it.
A minute 17 into the second round Reggie "The Sandman" Martin was KO'd.
'He may have been a little off tonight.'
That happens.
But I don't think the blame should be laid at anybody's feet.
I mean anybody. Am I being clear?
A blameless defeat.
Hey, Tanner!
How does it feel to have personally dealt a crushing blow to a man's career?
Are you talking about The Sandman's or my own?
Hey, tell me, do you have some sort of personal grudge against the Sandman?
Not at all, the Sandman and I have always had a very warm and cordial relationship.
I want him! I want him!
I want Danny Tanner! I want him! I want him!
Can't you just feel the love?
‐ Ooh. ‐ Ooh.
‐ Ooh. ‐ Ooh.
Walk with me..
...as I apologize..
...to the Sandman.
Sandman, I am really very, very sorry.
It's okay.
It's not your fault.
At least somebody had the guts to tell me about my wife.
Say..
...you wouldn't happen to know why she left me, would you?
Well, maybe not seeing your wife for three or four months resulted in a teensy loss of intimacy.
It's okay, champ. We don't need her.
It's this "we" stuff.
It's this "we" stuff that got me in trouble.
You talked me out of of retirement because you needed the money.
Now, you knew about my wife all the time, didn't you?
Well, I kind of got an inkling when I saw the cover story in "Sports Illustrated."
Look, Marcie‐Marcie, honey I‐I'm gonna give up boxing for good, baby.
I'm gonna to find you, I'm gonna beg for forgiveness.
I'm gonna win you back 'cause I love you, baby.
Lou..
...you're fired.
Tanner, this whole thing is your fault!
[groans]
Thanks, Stephanie.
You're welcome, daddy.
Didn't daddy do great?
‐ Oh, he was good. ‐ Oh, yeah.
Your dad was really, really quite good this evening.
Yeah, girls, nobody can take a punch like your father.
Can we stay up till daddy gets home?
No, no, no, girls. Go to sleep.
Come on, get some rest.
Tomorrow we may have to move to a civilization without television, go.
‐ Goodnight! ‐ Goodnight.
[sighs] Alright, Joey, you try to give her her medicine.
I give up.
Okay, Michelle.
Here it comes.
Mmm.
Aw, come on. It tastes really good.
Watch this.
Mmm.
Smile. The baby's watching you.
Mmm!
Mmm!
And she's waiting for her Uncle Jesse to swallow.
[gulp]
This stuff's terrible.
But you're not coughing, are you?
Alright, enough of this nonsense.
That's it, Michelle. Enough fooling around.
This is the last teaspoon of medicine.
You're gonna drink it.
You're gonna feel better.
And you're gonna do it right now.
Come on. Come on.
Right now. Come on.
See? Told you. All we had to do was ask nice.
[sighs]
Danny.
Joey, please..
...don't bother lying to me.
I stunk.
I just want you to know that Michelle is gonna be fine.
‐ What? ‐ Well, she was sick.
‐ But she's fine now. ‐ The baby's sick?
Why didn't you say something?
[humming] Sing along, Michelle.
♪ And beautiful ♪
[gurgling]
Michelle, Michelle, daddy's here.
Hi.
Jesse, what's wrong with her?
Nothing. She just had a little cold.
How do you know it's a little cold?
Well, she had a cough and a runny nose but no fever.
She should have fluids.
‐ Done. ‐ Done.
We should call the doctor.
‐ Done. ‐ Done.
Really? Has she had her cough medicine?
‐ Done. ‐ Done.
Whoa.
How about changing her diaper?
‐ Goodnight. ‐ Goodnight.
Well, the baby's asleep.
Her cold sounds much better.
You guys were really great tonight.
Yeah, I finally learned how to take care of the little kid.
Huh. I'll drink to that.
Alright.
I can't thank you guys enough.
No problem.
I really love that little..
[sneezes]
[coughs]
...germ‐spreading phlegm faucet.
You know, when I came home tonight I was so down.
But then I heard Michelle was sick and it put everything back into perspective.
I realized what's really important is my family..
...and my friends.
So you forgot all about that..
...nightmare of an interview?
Right up until this very moment when you were kind enough to just bring it up again.
‐ I was horrible! ‐ Um.
Come on, horrible's a pretty harsh word.
You were..
‐ Well, you were horrible. ‐ Yeah, yeah.
He was horrible.
Isn't this where you guys are supposed to jump in with a little pep talk?
I don't know if I got one in me, Danny. You?
A sick baby and a pep talk?
What am I, a saint?
Ah, come on. I'll get you started. How about, uh..
"Every cloud has a silver lining."
Or "The sun will come out tomorrow."
I'm feeling it.
Pep is welling up.
It's in my stomach.
It's working its way north.
It's in my throat, and...pep!
Danny, nobody's career goes straight up.
You had one rough night.
There's always bumps along the way.
This is good. Don't stop.
Then don't interrupt.
The key, Danny..
...is to learn from all those little bumps so that you'll be better prepared for next time.
Because you will have other chances.
When? I need a date and a time.
Soon.
Because you're good at what you do.
And you know why?
Because you care about more than just scores and stats.
You care about people.
Right, Jess?
Yeah, why not?
And in your own...unique way you helped the Sandman.
People trust you.
They know you're a good guy.
Right, Jess?
Yeah, why not?
Thanks, guys.
My favorite part was when the manager punched him.
Bluhh! Right in the stomach.
I loved it when he brought tears to the Sandman's eyes.
That was nice. That was nice.
But the reporters outside drilling him he had beads of sweat going down his face.
That k*lled me. That was funny.
That was good. You know what I loved?
When I claimed there was no one to blame.
[laughs] I loved how bad that was.
[theme music]