[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ah‐h‐h ♪
♪ Whatever happened to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman the paper boy ♪
♪ Evening TV ♪
♪ How did I get to livin' here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This old world's confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean as you've ever seen ♪
♪ There ain't a bird who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪ ♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪ ♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪ ♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Doobie doo bah bah dah ♪
♪ She's drivin' ♪ She's drivin'. She's drivin'. Okay.
♪ She's drivin' ♪
♪ Dri‐drivin' ♪
♪ She's drivin', dri‐‐ ♪ Maybe she's walking.
‐ Jesse, you got to see this. ‐ Not now.
I'm working on this new tune about this outrageous Italian goddess who drives a Lamborghini.
What rhymes with Lamborghini?
Uh...how about Cecil and Beany?
How about you're a weenie?
Jesse, check out this serious toddling.
Tracking shot, tracking shot.
(Danny) 'Come on, Michelle.'
Danny, your kid has been walking for three days.
You haven't stopped taping her.
I'll feel sorry for her when she starts potty training.
Do you know what this means?
My sweet little Michelle, she's now an object‐grabbing heat‐seeking instrument of destruction.
[high voice] Hear this, humans.
I am robo‐baby.
‐ Is grandma here? ‐ Not yet.
Oh, look how cute you two look.
Cute. Just what we need, more cute.
Grandma better get here soon.
We're very bus‐z‐z‐z‐y with honeybee bus‐z‐z‐z‐iness.
Joey, keep taping.
Girls, get up on the steps.
I want to ask you something.
D.J., so how's it feel to finally be retiring as queen bee?
Great. I'm way too old for this outfit.
It's time to pass my antenna on to the bees of the future.
I bee so happy.
Girls, do the secret honeybee hello.
Okay, but I cannot allow this on tape.
Bzzz zip!
Bzzz zip!
Bzzz zoo!
[horn honks]
That's grandma. We got to buzz‐z‐z off.
Okay, come here, Michelle.
Here's the baby's bag.
And oh, yeah... here's the baby.
There you go.
‐ Bye. ‐ Bye.
See you later, boys.
Guys...there's no children in the house.
You hear what I hear?
I don't hear anything.
Exactly.
It's silence.
Uh‐huh.
Wha‐‐
I can't believe this.
I have no parental responsibilities.
This is great.
No, that's not true. I really miss my kids.
No, that's not true. This is great!
Alright. Let's party, boys.
I got an idea. Let's get some girls.
Great. There's a Three Stooges festival downtown.
You can meet some really fun girls there and the great part is they don't mind if you poke 'em in the eye.
I don't know about this.
No, no, no. I got a better idea. I get on my Harley.
You guys follow me in the country squire not too close.
We cruise up to Tahoe, Harrah's is having a Marilyn Monroe look‐alike night.
How do you not know about this?
How do you not know about this?
Guys, we've never had a boys' night out just the three of us.
Let's go out together and just do some male bonding.
Male bonding?
Joey, you want to bond?
All I want is a woman who at just the right moment goes
"Whoo whoo whoo! Nyeah!"
Guys, time‐out.
I can't do this.
It's only been five months since I lost Pam.
Hey, don't let me stand in your way.
I'll be fine. I'll just stay home alone maybe change the part in my hair.
You guys go out. Have a great time.
‐ Never mind. ‐ Never mind.
Okay, we're available for bonding.
I'll do whatever you want. I promise.
Great, you are not even gonna think about women when you see what I've got in store for you.
Let's go fishing.
Neptune's Bride sails at midnight.
Great.
I've been dying for a place to wear this outfit.
Alright, let's get this wonderful, fun‐filled magical night of bonding over with.
Jesse, we're going fishing.
You look ridiculous.
I look ridiculous?
[telephone rings]
[imitating Thurston Howell] Gilligan's living room.
[normal voice] Oh, wait. Don't hang up.
Sorry. I'm not supposed to answer the phone.
Yes, Jesse's here.
‐ Who may I say is calling? ‐ Give me the phone.
No! Get out of town!
The Roxanna? The rock star Roxanna?
Jesse, how do you know Roxanna?
Alright, we had this hot and heavy thing for a while.
Actually, it was kind of serious. We dated.
She became a big star, went on the road.
So we drifted apart.
Give me the phone!
Is this true?
Your story checks out.
So, Roxanna... got your new album..
Joseph, you leave me no choice.
Uh‐huh.
Uh‐agh!
Say good‐bye.
Good‐bye.
Hello.
I'm sorry. That was Joey.
He was raised by a family of really stupid wolves.
How are you doing?
I'm doing great, yeah.
Oh, my music?
My music's going really well. Yeah.
That's great.
You told me you couldn't even find a job.
Beat it, wolf boy.
You know, it'd.. It'll be really nice to see you again.
Tonight? Yeah, tonight would be good.
Jesse, you promised.
[imitates fishing reel]
[plop]
But actually, I‐I can't tonight.
No. I'm going fishi.. I'm going boating..
I'm going yachting actually.
I'm going yachting on a boat. Yeah.
Uh, we're having a big party.
Neptune's Bride.
Yeah. Champagne, caviar, what‐have‐you.
Alright. Good. I'll call you in the morning. Bye.
Thanks, Jesse. You're not gonna regret this.
Oh, why would I want to hang out with a big, beautiful rock star when I can spend the evening with Thurston Howell, the third
and Mr. Paul, the human fish stick?
Ahoy, mateys. There she be.
Neptune's Bride, the finest lady to sail the seven seas.
Argh. I say we mount her.
That's board her, squid head.
Isn't this great? A night of men doing manly things.
You know, there isn't a manlier man among men than the old salty dog who pilots this vessel.
Old Captain Jack, where you be?
He be retired. I'm his granddaughter Caroline.
I'll be your captain this evening.
Oh, yeah. Men don't come any manlier.
Okay, so except for old Captain Caroline it's boys' night out..
...manly men doing masculine things.
Jesse.
Roxanna, have mercy.
Come here.
What are you doing here?
I tracked you down.
I'm going on tour tomorrow, and I just had to see you.
These are my backup singers.
I'm Yvonne.
I'm Vega.
I'm happy.
Jesse, this isn't a yacht.
Oh, yeah, you're telling me.
Last time I ever rent a yacht from a guy named Ice Pick.
So what, there's not a party?
We're here to fish. There's no party.
There is now.
Yeah, whoo‐hoo!
Alright, that's Joey. This is Danny.
Which one's Yvonne? Which one's Vega?
[engine revving]
Ah ha ha ha!
Thanks for helping me with the anchor, Danny.
Oh, Caroline, I live for this stuff.
Well, take a look at me. Did I forget anything?
You could be the centerfold for "Field And Stream".
Excuse me, girls.
Boys, it's time for fishing.
Oh, boy. Am I a happy camper.
Okay, Jesse, what do you want?
I don't care.
You want the Daiwa lightweight graphite super flex or the Shimano triton speed master?
I really don't care.
How could you not care?
The Daiwa has a 40‐pound test and the Shimano has 50.
I don't care. Give me... give me the Daiwa.
Ooh, the Daiwa?
In these waters? Bad choice.
I don't care, give me a worm and some dental floss.
I'll take the Shimano.
The hell you will.
No way I'm getting stuck in these waters with a Daiwa.
Look at this. I got the Shimano.
The Shimano? In waters like this?
Look at that.
Full moon.
There was a full moon the last night we were together.
You remember BSurig sur?
I remember we rented that cabin and went crazy in every little room.
Yeah, then we went down to the beach and we got even crazier.
The seals were clapping for us.
That's ancient history, right?
Yeah, it's all in the past.
Just...a sh**ting star that burned itself out.
Nothing but memories.
Yep, the magic's gone.
♪ Love exciting and new ♪
♪ Come aboard ♪
♪ We're expecting you.. ♪ You guys just butchered a classic.
Oh, yoo‐hoo! Champagne's gone. Now what?
Well, ladies, how about a menage‐a‐fish?
We'd need a lot more champagne.
Well, you got to admit, it is kinda sexy out here.
All the rolling and swaying.
Swaying and rolling.
Up and down, down and up.
Excuse us.
Yep. Know how to push all the right buttons.
Well, we're in a great spot here.
Oh, yeah. I'm psyched.
I got my lucky pole, my lucky hat my lucky underwear with little sharks on it.
But I digress.
You're kind of funny.
‐ Nah. ‐ Yeah.
‐ Nah. ‐ Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
Alright, Joey, it's time for a fishing lesson from the master.
Alright, Danny, show me how it's done.
The art of casting clip back your winder, keep your thumb on the line cast forward with a firm, flowing motion release your thumb, and let her go.
Got it.
Clip back your winder, keep your thumb on the line cast forward with a firm, flowing motion release your thumb, and let her go.
Oop. Got another one.
He got, ha ha!
That makes four.
I can't believe I haven't caught a thing.
This makes five for us.
Alright. It's a beauty.
How can this be?
Look what they're wearing.
Oh, great. My bait is yawning.
Wake up. Would you wake up?
Danny, is something wrong?
Where's the scuba gear?
There's something sinister going on down there.
You think the fish have gotten together and made a group decision to avoid your hook?
It's the only logical explanation.
This is so boring, reeling in fish after fish after fish.
Will you shut up?
You know, I wish we could see each other more often.
I know. The only time I see you now is on MTV.
I owe a lot of my success to you.
Ah. Roxanna, you made it because you're good.
Remember the first song you sang in my band?
Yeah. How can I forget?
Do it.
♪ He rocks in the treetop ♪
♪ All day long ♪
♪ Hoppin' and boppin' ♪
♪ And singin' his song ♪
♪ All the little birds on Jaybird street ♪
♪ Love to hear the Robin ♪
♪ Goin' tweet tweet tweet ♪
♪ Rockin' Robin ♪
♪ Tweet tweet tweet ♪ Fellas?
♪ Tweet tweedle dee dee ♪
♪ Go Rockin' Robin ♪
♪ 'Cause we're really gonna rock tonight ♪ This is good. This is good. Let's do some choreography.
♪ Every little swallow every chickadee ♪
♪ Every little bird in the tall oak tree ♪
♪ The wise old owl ♪
♪ The big black crow ♪
♪ Flapping their wings singing ♪
♪ Go bird go ♪
♪ Rockin' Robin ♪
♪ Tweet tweet tweet ♪
♪ Rockin' Robin ♪
♪ Tweet...tweedle dee dee ♪
♪ Go Rockin' Robin ♪
♪ 'Cause we're really gonna rock tonight ♪
♪ Tweet ♪
♪ Tweedle dee dee ♪ Yeah!
Aw, that was almost fun.
Ahh.
Whoa. Whoa!
Whoa!
I'm coming, Beanie Boy!
Hold on.
Anybody else want some more of my halibut my albacore, my swordfish?
Shut up.
You're just cranky 'cause you got pulled overboard by a Michelin radial.
Hey, that tire had an incredible will to live.
Hey, Roxanna, we'll meet you back at the hotel, okay?
Yeah, thanks for breakfast, guys.
Oh, and thanks for the Pepto‐Bismol.
I know my antacids.
You know, Joey, being with you actually bordered on fun.
Yeah. I hear that a lot.
You know, Joey, we've met a lot of men and, well, now we've met you.
‐ Bye‐bye. ‐ Bye.
Seems like we're always saying goodbye, huh?
I hate it.
Jesse, come on the road with me.
Join your band?
Well, no.
We're an all‐girl group and you're definitely not a girl.
Then why would I go on the road with you?
Just to be with me?
Do what? Carry your bags for you?
Tune your guitar? Is that what you want?
I've got nothing better to do than follow you around like a little puppy dog or something?
You know, I really had a great time.
So did I.
Uh, how about if I make you dinner?
Uh, dinner?
You know, food you eat when it gets dark?
No dinner.
How about lunch?
No, no lunch, no food.
Liquid protein?
Uh, look, Caroline, uh, I'm real sorry, but..
...I think this whole thing was just kind of a big mistake.
You‐you really shouldn't be here right now because, uh, you really should be somewhere else.
Let me walk you to the door, okay?
Jesse, you're overreacting.
No, I'm not. I'm not overreacting.
Come on, let's go. This is not gonna work out.
Go be a big star, get in your limousine.
Alright, everybody freeze.
I need to see Jesse and Danny in the kitchen right now.
Joey, I'm in the middle of something.
Humor me.
Girls, look, please don't leave.
Caroline, you like fish. Roxanna, you like music.
Talk about Muddy Waters.
Joey, what is your problem?
You guys are crazy.
You had a nice time with Caroline you had a nice time with Roxanna.
What's the story here?
Caroline and I are none of your business.
Right. Neither are Roxanna and I . Thanks, Joey.
Jesse?
Your attitude wouldn't have anything to do with her success, would it?
No.
I don't know.
Alright, I do know.
I mean..
...I put her band together, me.
I put the band together, she's a big star.
I put my band together, we're playing dives.
I promised myself, by the time I was 24 I'm gonna have a record deal.
I'm 24 1/2.
When's it gonna be my turn?
Hey, I know how that feels.
It's like when I see Alf, I go nuts.
I'm doing my standup in little nightclubs and a carpet sample as a series.
But, you know, if we hang in there we're going to make it.
Danny, why are you so upset with Caroline?
'Cause she wanted to make me dinner.
The real problem is you like her.
Okay, I do like her.
And it scares me.
Ever since Pam..
...everything is just so hard so confusing.
I know how tough this has been on you.
That's how life is. It's a struggle.
What helps you get through the tough times are the people by your side.
So when people like Roxanna and Caroline come along why push them away because you're frustrated with your career and..
...because you're not ready to date yet?
You're throwing away what could be great friendships.
Is this the same guy who spends hours perfecting underarm noises?
Where is this coming from?
From my heart.
I did have some help with the words.
It's what Scooby‐Doo told Scrappy‐Doo last Saturday morning.
Thanks, Joey.
Oh..
Come here, you big goof.
Alright.
We got in some male bonding after all.
Will you guys excuse me for a moment?
Caroline, could I talk to you, please?
‐ Hi. ‐ Hi.
Look, uh, I'm real sorry I flipped out.
It's just that, uh..
...well, you know about my wife.
And, uh, I'm just not ready for this yet.
I really do like you.
Do you think maybe..
...you and I could, like, just be friends?
I think that would be great.
Oh.
Roxanna, I guess what I'm trying to say is..
...maybe I was acting a little bit..
...what's the word I'm looking for?
Insanely jealous.
Jesse, your time's gonna to come.
You're too good.
You know I can't go with you.
I know.
I just want us to be together.
Well, maybe someday we will be but in the meantime, you got to realize a guy like me..
...I got to be free‐wheeling.
I got to be riding on the wind.
I got to be living on the edge.
Hi, Uncle Jesse.
Will you help me off with my stinger?
Sure, kid.
Well, I'm living on the edge of cuteness.
[theme music]