Critters Attack! (2019)

[bunniefuu]

Drea, did you see that?

'Drea!'

What is it?

I think it was an alien spaceship.

Don't be weird, Phillip.

I'm not being weird. Come down here and see.

'It was headed towards the park.'

It was probably just like a plane flying low or something.

Oh, I think there may be two.

What the?

Hello?

♪ I was so out of sorts in ♪

♪ So long so long so long so long ♪

♪ And I've been led here by you ♪

♪ Follow follow follow.. ♪ Drea!

Turn that thing down right now.

♪ ...more than before.. ♪

Uncle Lou.

Hey, Phillip. Hi.

Did the UFO pass by your office last night?

UFO?

Unidentified Flying Object?

Y-yeah, I-I know what UFO means.

You do know aliens don't exist, right?

Yes, they do. And they're here.

Really? Yeah. Look.

The UFO started on its way to the park.

Well, actually, I think there's two of them.

Two? What, two little green guys or, uh, two ships?

Were they butt-naked?

Uh, you know, if they're butt-naked, it's quite funny.

I.. Phillip, I'm just messing with you, man.

Phillip, I'm just messing. Phillip.

Drea!

Come on, you gotta keep the music down in the mornings.

I mean, I work night shifts... Yup, got it.

Hey, what's wrong? Everything's fine.

I just gotta get to work. Drea..

What's wrong?

I thought I got into Leroy, but I didn't, so..

Aw, geez. I got waitlisted again.

So I thought this is it.

But, nope, not happening, so..

Hey. Who needs those fancy colleges anyways, eh?

I mean, I-I didn't go to any college.

Yeah. You always say that.

You know, I'm only trying to help you.

'Sometimes you get so...' Please, Uncle Lewis.

I'm not in the mood to argue with you right now.

I really gotta get to work.

I'll try again next year, it'll be fine. Please.

Okay, before you go to work, can I give you some advice?

You can get into any college you want.

I know you wanna go to Leroy 'cause your mom went there.

No. Nope, nope, that is not the only reason I want...

Let me finish, alright?

Your mom was very smart, you are very smart.

And, you know, she was able to get a scholarship to go to Leroy and you weren't.

Sometimes smart just is not enough.

Sometimes it's like, you know, people you know in the world.

Right.

Okay, well, thanks for the pep talk.

You can drive safe. Thanks.

Please move back, officer.

I don't wanna roll over your foot.

Step away from the car. Yeah. That.

Whatever you guys say.

Crites.

'Hey, where did you learn to do that?'

Uh, I just, um just kinda figured it out, I guess.

Plus, we have the best blades in the business.

Best blades, huh? Oh, and YouTube videos.

Oh. You know, I got my own YouTube channel.

Nice. OutdoorDougie.com.

That's cool. I'll try to check it out sometime.

I just got some new merch for my online store.

OutdoorDougie stress ball.

Hey, Drea. Hey.

I need you to deliver this.

What happened to Kevin?

He took off with a delivery last night and I never heard from him.

Sounds like Kevin.

Hey, I thought you might enjoy this delivery, Drea.

It's your dream place.

Yeah, where is that?

Oh, boy.

Drea!

Hi, Shawn. Wow!

Uh, you're finally taking me up on that personalized tour?

We can get in a-any building on campus you want.

Oh, wow, I mean, I'd love to, but I'm just here to make a delivery and then I gotta head back to work, so, bummer.

Yeah. Ha-ha.

I don't have to sign in, do I?

Oh. Um, uh, no, no, it's fine.

Yeah. I know you. You..

Oh, hey, did you, uh, get a chance to listen to that cassette?

Oh. Yes, I love it.

Uh, uh, I don't know how it's not in my player right now.

That's crazy. I've been..

Got it!

Right?

You, you're hittin' it. You're really hittin' it.

You're really hitting those notes.

I can't believe you really love it. I mean..

You know, I wrote all those pieces myself.

Wow! Yeah, it-it, it is something.

Do you wanna hear it live?

I'm sorry, what? Yeah!

I always come prepared.

Wow! Okay.

You know, I'm, I'm good with this one right here.

I, I gotta go drop this food off, though.

Like, I don't wanna keep the customer waiting, so..

Drive safe now, alright? Alright, thanks.

Have a great one. You, too.

Bye. Bye.

Oh, my God.

Hi, mommy.

What is this?

Hall?

Leroy Hall?

♪ Leroy University we stand tall ♪

♪ Leroy University won't let fall ♪

♪ There's no adversity that we can't handle and that's ♪♪ And that's the Leroy way.

Oh, my God. Ah, don't be embarrassed.

That was a lovely rendition of the "Leroy Fight Song."

Oh..

Hello. Hey.

Hi. Okay, uh, sorry. Yeah.

Uh, I have some sushi here for...

Gregory Sax. Yeah, that's you.

I believe you're looking for me.

I've been looking for you. You take card, right?

No.

Okay. Cash?

Mm-hmm, that's all we take.

Okay, well, then if you come with me I can get some cash from inside and we can...

I'd love to come with you.

Okay. Just this way.

You know, my mom actually went to this school.

Really? Yeah, but..

Only for one semester 'cause then she got pregnant with me.

So I guess you can kinda say I ruined her plans.

Oh, come on. I'm sure you didn't ruin anything.

Yeah, I'm just messing.

Well, she should come back and finish up, though.

I saw older people in a few of my classes last year, so..

She'll be fine.

She died two years ago, so..

Oh, God. Oh, no, no, no.

I'm so sorry, I didn't... It's fine.

I'm gonna go to school here one day.

It's just, I just got my second rejection letter.

But you know what they say, third time's the charm.

Yeah, I bet it will be. Sorry.

Uh, sorry, we got a few more flights to go and then I'm sure somebody's gonna have cash for you, so..

Oh, yeah, for sure, no worries.

Hey. What do you think, Mandy?

Mm, yeah, looks good.

You didn't even look at it.

Wait, what is this font?

I thought you liked it. Hey, Mandy!

You got any cash for, um..

I'm sorry, what was your name, again?

'It's, uh..' Drea.

Oh. What, you've ordered from this place before or...

No. That'll be, uh, 16.40.

Okay. Great.

Well, you two can, um, do your little..

You do have cash on you, right?

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah.

Geez, I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time.

So I'm just gonna give a..

Okay. Yeah.

Well, you got into our dream school and I didn't.

So there's that.

Are you and, like.. Oh, yeah. We're..

Oh. Cool. Yeah.

Yeah, it's cool.

Um, did you hear back about your admissions for this year?

Yeah, i-it's a no for me, again.

So.. Well..

The head of the history department is looking to fill a job position.

You-you think getting a job here would really help me with admissions?

Yeah. Totally.

Here.

Her name is Professor Lacy.

You'd have to start tomorrow, though.

That's perfect. I'm off tomorrow. Let's..

Yes, please. Okay.

Cool.

I'll give her a call and let her know that she'll see you tomorrow.

Thanks, Mandy. This is really, really, really nice of you.

Oh, um..

I appreciate it more than you know, like..

Yeah, the, um, uh, the job, it's..

Well, it's babysitting her kids. It's..

Babysitting?

Yeah, but Professor Lace... Yeah, no.

I'm, I'm too old to be babysitting.

What, is this a joke?

She's on the board of admissions, though.

She could seriously help you. It's all about who you know.

Thanks.

'And we've Fred from New Jersey. Fred, you're on the line.'

'Uh, hey. I'm a big fan of the show.'

'Yeah, listen, I-I-I've been getting..'

Hey, kiddo. Time for bed.

Hey.

It's fine, I like this spot.

I know, but this is Uncle Lewis' favorite chair and I don't want him yelling at me about it.

So please, just go to your room.

Can you get me mom's blanket?

Yeah.

'Goodnight, weirdo.'

Oh. What is that?

Oh, my! What is that?

I can't believe I'm seeing this.

Wow, amazing!

Aren't you a beautiful bird?

Ah..

Oh.

'Did you read this, um..' 'Mm?'

'This thing here about, uh..' 'About what?'

What the hell happened to you, Bob?

I don't wanna talk about it.

No disrespect, Bob, but you kind of stink.

My apologies.

I didn't have a napkin on me and I-I didn't wanna ruin my uniform.

On the plus side, I read somewhere that, uh it's a sign of good luck if a bird poops on you.

Really? That's what I read.

Oh..

Well, then, things are looking up for me for a change.

Still, you should shower.

Copy that.

Ooh, I wonder if that's my little porcupine friend.

Daryl?

Daryl the porcupine, is that you out there, little buddy?

No, sir.

What the hell is that?

What the hell is that?

Oh, my God!

Well, guys, that was my babysitting 101 video.

Just remember, your main job is to take care of those kids.

So if you're constantly anticipating potential problems you'll always be prepared.

Please, don't forget to have fun and subscribe to my channel.

It's easy now. Got it.

Come on, we gotta go. I am late.

What?

Oh. Sorry, I was listening to a podcast.

God. Was it about aliens again?

Yeah. What if it was?

Okay, loser, well, please hurry up because I have to go babysit. We discussed this.

Yeah, but you agreed to babysit, not me.

Well, you know, the Lacys do have a really big house.

Maybe you could, like, bring your telescope or whatever.

'Or, you know, stay here, listen to your podcast.'

Wait. Lacy?

Like, like, Trissy Lacy? Yeah.

You're-you're babysitting Trissy Lacy.

I am.

Oh, my gosh. My-my hair, is my hair messed up?

Phillip, will you please hurry up?

Yeah, I know.

What's taking you so long? Nothing, nothing.

Oh, my gosh. Did you fix your hair?

Yes. You still got a little...

Don't. Don't touch it. Okay, fine, fine.

Thank you. What were you doing?

Like, putting cologne on in the car or something?

Don't-don't worry about what I was doing.

Let me see. You look cool.

The door's open.

I love you.

Be good and do what Drea says, okay?

Hi, Drea. Hi, Professor Lacy.

You're a lifesaver. Thank you for babysitting.

'On such short notice.' 'Yes, of course.'

Okay, so the low-down on my kids.

Trissy, smart, but sometimes too smart for her own good.

So be prepared. I gave Jake your number.

He insists on only communicating by text.

I know, it's weird, I was hoping it was just a phase but maybe that's just how the next generation communicate, huh?

Who knows?

Okay, taxi's here, gotta go.

Thank you again so much, Drea.

Actually, I, um..

Hi.

Anybody know any good jokes?

I've got one.

What does sushi A say to sushi B?

Wasabi!

Like, what's up, B? You know?

Okay, um, uh, anybody wanna play a card game?

A card game?

What is this, 1986?

Yeah, what is this, 1986?

Okay. No card games, no jokes, um..

How about we watch a movie? Everybody loves movies, right?

We could do a movie night, order pizza.

Do you like scary movies? I love scary movies.

No, they're too violent.

Right.

Oh, my God, Jake. This meme is so funny.

Ooh, another text coming in from Jake.

Oh. You wanna go to the park?

That's a great idea!

Actually, that idea doesn't sound half bad.

I mean, I can pack us a picnic.

Nice. What do you think? Picnic, yes?

Well, yeah, if, uh, Trissy wants to do that a picnic sounds great.

Should we reconfirm here with Jake?

Yeah? Ah, blow it up? No, put the pin back in.

It's not time. Okay. Let's do this.

I can't believe all the plant life we've seen so far.

Can anyone else believe it?

No, I-I can't believe it. Me either.

Jake, look! Cloudberries.

They have very distinct lobes.

Do you see the distinct lobes, Jake?

Licorice fern.

Guys, come on, check this out!

Wow, this cannot be real.

Someone pinch me.

She sure is, uh, talkative.

Hey. What you thinking about?

Nothing.

You nervous about talking to her?

I don't know. I guess. I just..

I just feel like an idiot every time I think of something to say to her.

You're not an idiot.

More of a moron, really.

Wow, thanks. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Come on, don't be nervous.

What was that?

I think it's some wildlife.

Come on.

Hey, kids, wait up! Uh..

What is that?

I think it's some sort of animal or something.

Hey! Don't get too close to that thing.

Did you get your, you know, rabies shot?

We have our sh*ts.

Don't worry so much. Okay..

Hi.

Aw.. She's so cute.

Really? Yeah.

Here. Come take a look.

Actu..

See?

What do you think it is?

I don't really know, which is kind of troubling to me.

What if it was an alien?

'That would be cool.'

Wait-wait a second. I think she's hurt.

Drea, what do we do?

Just leave it there.

Leave it there? We're not leaving her there.

Okay, Trissy. That's-that's a wild animal.

You don't take wild animals home.

You don't know where that thing has been.

But she's cute, and-and she really needs our help.

C-come on, please.

Please, Drea.

Okay.

You know what, actually, let's take her to the park ranger.

They'll know what to do with her and then maybe they can, like donate her to a zoo.

Uh, be careful, guys. She'll..

Okay. She's cute, right?

Sure.

'Come on, guys. Let's get out of here.'

Aunt Dee, you still haven't told me how long you're gonna be gone for.

Oh, not too long, I don't think.

'Which one needs the insulin shot?'

Little Herrick. 'And which one's Herrick?'

Wrote it all down for you, and there's pictures.

Okay.

Oh, you need any help? That looks heavy.

Got it.

Oh, if you don't hear from me for a little while just know I'm okay.

'Okay?' Okay.

Bye, babies.

Have fun with your friends.

Here we go.

Come on, guys.

Oh, Phillip, how's she doing?

Oh, um..

Yeah, she-she seems fine, I guess.

Thanks for checking. Come on, Jake!

No, no problem.

Hello?

Maybe no one's here.

Hello? Is anyone inside?

Please, we have an injured animal.

'A really weird-looking animal that we've never seen before.'

'Someone, open the door!'

'Can you help us out, please?'

So weird.

Hey, um, Phillip, is she okay?

Is she doing something weird?

Looks like she's sniffing at something.

Sniffing?

Oh, she is not happy.

Yeah, maybe we should just take it to a vet or something.

Alright.

So Shawn is still giving you these mix-tapes, huh?

Hey, can you roll down your window for a sec?

Sure. Why?

That's why.

That was rude. You like bagpipe music?

'Hi, you've reached the Clark County Veterinary Office.'

'Our hours are 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., Monday through Friday'

'10 a.m. to 2 p.m..'

The vet is closed.

Actually, we have a first-aid kit at our place.

What was that?

Uh..

I think there's something under the car.

Okay, how about we lock the doors and, uh, we'll fix her up at your place, okay?

Hm.

So, Trissy, I was thinking maybe after we get her all cleaned up and everything

'and she's feeling better, she could, I don't know'

'we could let her out in the backyard' or put her in a cage or..

A cage? We're not putting her in a cage.

Yeah, but she's a wild animal. I don't..

'I don't wanna leave her in your-your house'

'and she, I don't know, you could go to sleep'

'and she tears up everything. Like..'

'I think we all want her here.'

Okay.

Hey, Jake. What's the matter?

No signal. Hold on, let me check.

Yeah, I-I don't have a signal either.

Yeah.

Okay. Whatever. Let's get this over with.

I don't think she's gonna like that iodine very much.

What if she, like, freaks out and bites one of us?

She's not going to. 'Maybe Phillip's right.'

I mean, those teeth do look sharp.

Actually, can you two hold her down and I guess I'll do the honors?

Yeah. Okay, girl.

Okay, okay, okay.

Mm..

Be careful, Drea.

Phillip, why would you do that?

You're making me nervous. Stop.

Okay, let's try this again.

Please don't bite me.

Oh, thank God.

You're a tough little girl, aren't you?

Alright. We should name her.

How about Snowball?

That's not very original. Yeah.

Okay, well, let's see what you come up with.

What about Bianca?

I like that. Yeah.

Bianca it is, then.

Alright, let me get my phone so we can take a picture with us and Bianca.

Okay, hurry up. Mm-hmm.

I think she likes it. 'Yeah.'

Is that another one?

Look, look, look, look.

There's, uh, there's, uh, there's something in your trunk.

Uh, it's blurry, but I-I think it's an alien.

Jake?

Jake?

You scared me.

Do you wanna come in here with us? We named her B..

'Oh, my God. What is that?'

Wait, wait, we forgot Bianca. What? Are you kidding me?

That thing just tried to rip your brother's foot off.

Are you okay?

He's fine. We have to get her.

Uh, yeah, no. What if she tries to eat us?

She's clearly not gonna eat us.

She loves us.

Here, Phillip, take my key, go to the car lock the door behind you. Go, go, go.

I'll be back in a, in a second.

'Oh, and, Drea.'

'Grab the iodine for Jake!'

Hey..

Hey, Bianca.

You didn't do that, did you?

Um, well, girl, you made some fans so I'm gonna just put you in this bag and you're gonna go with us, okay?

Little road trip, yeah?

'You're so cute.'

Love your highlights, it's..

Please don't k*ll me.

Who's that, Phillip?

Huh?

Oh, that's our mom.

Those are the Leroy steps, right?

So what's she doing now?

She, uh, she died in a car accident.

Drea thinks it's her fault.

She snuck out to a party and, well, mom wanted to go pi..

Let's go. Uh..

I have one Bianca, one first-aid kit.

Professor Lacy's gonna need a cleaner.

What? What?

Nothing. Keys, keys, where are my keys?

What did you do with my keys? Right there.

Sorry.

Oh, my God.

What? What?

Just give me a second, just let me check one thing.

We're gonna have to walk.

Walk? Walk where?

To Uncle Lewis.

Hello, your highness.

Uncle Lewis?

Uncle Lewis? Uncle Lewis?

Drea, what's going on?

Hey, Phillip.

Huh, what's wrong with your friend?

He got bit by an alien.

An alien? Yeah.

Are you okay, son? Huh?

What's your name?

Kid's a mute, right?

Um, not necessarily, he's just..

Listen, I'd just, uh, like to take a look at that...

Yeah, no, no, no, don't worry about it, we already cleaned it up with iodine back at the house.

What is going on? Phillip..

Have you got these people on some wild alien chase?

Phillip, just show him your phone.

Look.

Thank you. Think I'll keep that. Drea...

You didn't even look at the picture.

No, no, Drea. Just come to the office.

A minute. Huh. Great.

Drea, you cannot bring those kids into this office talking all that nonsense.

You want me to help that kid, I'll help him.

But otherwise, what is he trying to prove?

I'm trying to tell you that something att*cked Jake, okay?

Something chewed its way through my car.

I had to walk here from Professor Lacy's house!

You walked here? Yes!

Well, what did you walk here to say?

That aliens are real!

Come on, Drea.

I understand Phillip.

He's a kid, he's got imagination.

You know? It's okay.

But you, I don't understand.

You're too old for this. No.

We have one in Trissy's bag, if you would just go out there and look at it it's a good one, I think, but..

Drea, I don't have time for this. Well, man, you, uh..

I got a lot of things on my mind, you know?

I got a lot of things to do. I don't have time.

I see you do.

Hey, kids, we're just gonna go see Chef.

I'm sure he'll be able to help us.

Dumbass.

Thank you.

Please come again.

Uh, excuse me, Lan.

Have you seen my nephew, Kevin?

No.

Chef. Chef.

Hey, Drea. How's babysitting?

Uh... it's goin' great.

Listen, I need to talk to you about something and you have to promise that you'll take me seriously.

And also, we need your van, 'cause we gotta get out of town.

Wait a minute. What is this all about?

Can you show him the..

Oh! No. No, no, no.

It's-it's okay. It's okay.

'But we seriously need to take your van.'

Okay.

What the hell is that?

Ah..

Jesus, Joseph and Mary.

What is going on?

No.. No.

No.

So you're telling me there are a bunch of evil aliens and this one sitting here is good?

'Well, how do you know he's good?'

She saved us from a bad one.

It's a she?

Sorry.

So, what's the plan?

Where are you gonna go?

State police.

That's quite a drive.

And that van is pretty beat to you-know-what.

I know, but we have to try something.

Wait a second. My mom has a satellite phone in her office.

Really? Yeah.

She uses it to communicate with her researchers.

I totally forgot about it.

Well there you have it, we'll just use that phone to call for help, and Leroy's not too far away so that's perfect.

What the?

'Uncle Lewis?'

He's here?

'I have to go out there.'

Just lock the door behind me and watch the kids, okay?

I'll be back.

No! No! No!

That is gross.

Kevin's sneaker.

Hey. You okay?

You can drive, can't you?

I'm 12. Exactly.

Go. Get out of here.

But what are you gonna do?

I know they k*lled my nephew.

I'm gonna make them pay.

Uncle Lewis?

Uncle Lewis, what happened?

Drea, listen to me.

Sound. They can't take it.

It'd k*ll them.

Loud, high-pitched sound.

You understand me?

Okay. Um..

We gotta get you to a hospital.

There's no time.

Your mother called me that night.

She asked me to go and get you at your friend's party.

I was in a bar.

That's why she came to get you.

It should've been me.

Drea, I know you blame yourself for your mom, but it's not you.

It's not your fault.

It's okay, Uncle Lewis. I forgive you, okay?

I-I just, I just gotta get Chef's truck and I, and I, and I gotta get the kids and then..

You hear me, Uncle Lewis?

Uncle Lewis!

You bastards.

Drea, we have the keys!

Move, move!

Where's Chef? Not coming.

Okay. What about Uncle Lewis?

He okay? Drea?

Um, remember something for me.

What? High pitched-sounds.

They hate high-pitched sounds, okay?

Hey! Wait. Get up, get up!

Taste my steel, you rat bastards.

I have the best blades in the business.

Hyah!

You want some?

'Huh? Huh?'

Never there when I need him.

Who? Shawn? Yes.

Shawn has the keys to every building on campus.

We find Shawn, we get the keys, we get to the satellite phone.

But Shawn is not here. Nope.

I-I hear him.

I-I-I-I hear him.

Are you sure? Yes. Um..

Everybody out of the car. Let's..

Okay.

Quickly, please.

Hey, Jake, you okay? Good to walk?

Well, at least he's playing a lot better.

Hey, Shawn?

Shaw..

Shawn?

Oh, my God.

Guys, um, Shawn is busy.

Run, run. Don't look back, just run.

'Keep running! Keep.. Trissy?'

'You're lagging behind, come on!'

How did they get here so fast?

I don't know. Just, please, just give me a second to think.

This is hopeless.

They-they must have spread all across town by now.

Guys.

I think they keep finding us because of Bianca.

Jake, did you just say something?

You know, you got a deep-ass voice for a nine-year-old.

Wait, wait a second. You think they're after her?

Yeah. I think they can smell her.

Okay. You know what? We can't stay here.

Let's um.. Mandy and Gregory.

Let's go see if they have keys to your mom's office.

Well, what about this gate? What gate?

'Mandy!'

'Gregory!'

Is anyone there? Please let us in. Hello?

Mandy! Oh, Mandy, Mandy, hi. Hi!

It's an emergency. Please open, please..

Thank you. Okay, go, go!

Mandy, there are, there are creatures, monsters outside from outer space, and they're trying to k*ll us.

I'm sorry, did you just say monsters?

Yes. Drea.

Don't screw up this gig with some elaborate prank.

These kids should probably be in bed by now.

No, this is, this is not a prank.

This-this is serious.

Listen, I know that this isn't the campus job that you wanted but I really was doing you a favor.

Okay, well, you know what, bitch?

Do me a favor and don't do me anymore favors, okay?

We need help! Oh, okay.

Yeah, because you were doing perfectly fine on your own getting into the school?

You know what, Mandy?

Eat shit.

Yeah, real mature.

No, you know what's real mature?

You not answering your best friend's calls once you got accepted into this fancy-ass college.

That's what's real mature.

Okay, I'm sorry, but... yeah.

No. I'm-I'm not doing this right now.

Okay.

But good luck with your aliens.

So, uh, what is going on and why are you back here?

Okay, so listen.

We need the keys to the history department.

My mom has a satellite phone in her office and we need to call for help.

Okay, I don't have the keys to the history department.

Just to the great hall that we're decorating for the freshmen.

Ugh! Okay. New plan.

We have to, uh, go back to the security shed and-and get Shawn's keys.

Oh, no, no, I do not love that plan.

Okay, hold on just a second.

If that's all you need to do, then, I mean, I can do that.

Uh, it's kind of complicated. No, it's gonna be fine.

It's fine. No. Uh..

What are you doing, bro?

Listen, I don't believe in monsters.

But I do believe in one thing.

Oh, uh.. I can run incredibly fast.

Okay, but you don't understand.

Shawn was actually just... Shh!

I took States in the 800 and 1600 last year.

I'll go get those keys and then I'll be back here in 2.7 minutes.

Don't miss me. Wait.

But-but you-you really need to be careful because I-I was trying to tell you that..

...Shawn was actually k*lled.

Dammit! Come on!

Whoo!

Yeah!

What's that sound?

I don't know.

Oh!

Oh..

We gotta get to your mom's office.

We gotta get to your mom's office.

I'm sorry you had to see that.

Come on, come on, we gotta get to your mom's office.

We're all gonna die tonight.

Aren't we?

No. No one's dying.

But a huge ball of those things just devoured Greg.

Yeah, well, we're not Greg. Yeah, but..

But nothing. No one's dying tonight.

You know why? Why?

Because..

...no one's coming to save us and we need to stop thinking that someone will because it's not happening.

You're not making us feel any better.

No, you're not.

My point is, we don't need saving.

We don't need some fancy-ass Leroy University students to help us.

We don't need Uncle Lewis and we don't need Chef.

We don't need anyone.

Just each other.

Okay?

C-come on.

No one else is dying tonight.

I promise.

And if anyone's dying, it's gonna be one of those little turds, you feel me?

Now let's find your mom's office.

I don't care if we have to kick down her damn door.

Guys, i-it's a keypad.

We can't get through without a password.

Okay, well, try something.

I mean, how many numbers could it be?

How many numbers can it be?

I-it can be so many numbers. Too many numbers.

I mean, mathematically, this is impossible.

We can't... Okay, just-just hold on.

It's not impossible, just think of some numbers that would be important to your mom.

I mean, I-I can try my birthday.

Yeah. Try that.

It worked.

Let's go through the door. Yeah.

Um, my mom's office is just is just right through this room, okay?

Okay.

We'll make it there.

What is that smell?

Doesn't smell good.

Wait a second.

Wait.

Go! Go!

Wait!

Trissy?

She's upset.

I think she has some unfinished business with the other ones.

Look, I'm sorry, kiddo, but we gotta leave her here.

But... Trissy..

It's the right thing to do. Leave her here.

She can handle herself.

She already proved she can.

Come on.

I'm gonna miss you, Bianca.

Trissy, we gotta go.

Okay, I'm coming.

Hello?

What the?

M-Mandy!

I'm so sorry.

Mm. Okay.

Did I leave the car on?

No! No!

Hey, guys, I-I don't see 'em anymore.

Just keep running.

Whoa! Shh...

Hey. Hi.

I-I'm sorry I didn't believe you.

Yeah, you should've.

Have you seen Gregory?

Uh..

Can we talk about that later?

Okay.

Drea? What?

Oh, my God. He's back.

Why is he just staring at us like that?

Who cares? Get in!

Right. Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, right here.

Okay. Okay?

'My car is in the parking lot.'

We just gotta get there and get out of this shitty campus.

Shitty campus?

Yeah. Sucks here.

Hold up! Why are we running from these fur balls?

'Cause we don't wanna die?

You don't have anything in your bag like a, like a sharp w*apon or a knife or, I don't, I don't know, like a...

No. I mean, next to the nunchucks and axe, maybe.

Wait.

What's in that shed?

Yes.

Okay.

Okay, everybody out, go, go, go! Go!

You guys got all the good stuff.

I don't know.

Here, you can have this leaf blower.

What am I supposed to do with that?

Blow them away, like, literally?

I don't know. Okay, listen.

All we got is a stupid air horn and a paintbrush?

Wait. Drea. What?

High-pitched sounds.

Remember?

Right. Uncle Lewis said high-pitched sounds.

They, they hate high-pitched sounds.

Okay. Alright, guys.

I'm, I'm gonna see if Uncle Lewis was right.

Uh, just..

Be careful.

'Why isn't it working?' I don't know!

'Is it empty?' I don't know.

It doesn't sound empty.

'It doesn't sound like anything, actually.'

Come on, please, please, please.

Ha!

Take that, you little dickhead!

Okay, okay.

Now, where's that other little shit?

This is for my Uncle Lewis the only family I had, you assh*le!

Oh, no.

Oh..

Oh, shit.

Let's not wait for someone to come and save us, right?

Nice.

We got this.

Are you..

I'm... fine?

'I got it, just stay back.'

Ah! Ah!

Best blades in the business, bitch.

Wow! Oh!

You good, bro? Yeah, I'm good.

Trissy, I saw you kickin' butt and taking names.

Jake, he was kickin' em like soccer.

Mandy, it was alright.

You did that, Philly cheesesteak, alright? Whoo!

Drea, behind you!

Who the hell is that?

I don't know, but that's a really big g*n.

Everybody get your weapons.

Okay. Uh..

Five against one? We can fight that bitch.

Hey, guys, I'm Aunt Dee.

Whose aunt are you, exactly? Uh..

I'm a bounty hunter, I'm looking for the queen and I'm pretty sure she's inside.

Protect yourselves.

What just happened?

Ah.

There you are.

You saved me.

You travelled all this way to keep the male crites from taking over the Earth, didn't you?

A peaceful leader.

Cover me.

Hey, when the phone lines are back I'm gonna give Professor Lacy a call.

You should be her teacher's assistant not this babysitting crap.

No offence.

If you become a teacher's assistant for a year make a lot of friends in admin I think you'd have a real shot.

A year, huh?

You know, on second thought I never really saw myself as, like, a teacher's assistant.

Wait, are you serious?

Hell, yeah.

Um, does your neck hurt?

Oh. Uh, no.

How about now?

Ow.

Yeah. Now, now it hurts.

You guys are gross.

Alright, kids.

Let's get on the road.

State police is a long drive.

What the hell is that? Hey!

Look alive, guys.

You know how to use that?

Not a damn clue. Follow me.

Drea, are you crazy?

'Watch the kids!'

Okay, here we go.

Turn that switch on the side.

Okay.

Stay calm.

Phillip, help me aim.

On my count.

One.

'Two.'

Three.

k*ll crites!

Told you aliens were real.