Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

[bunniefuu]

Be careful, your fingers.

May I help you?

This is the Calthorpe. Private hotel.

I'm Mrs. Eleanor Young.

I have a reservation at the Lancaster Suite.

We spoke on the phone when I confirmed yesterday.

Sorry, don't seem to have your reservation.

Good evening.

I'm Reginald Ormsby, hotel manager. Is there a problem?

I'm Mrs. Eleanor Young.

My family and I would like to be shown to our suite.

We've had a long flight.

We're fully booked, madam. You must have made a mistake.

I'm sure you and your lovely family can find other accommodation.

May I suggest you explore Chinatown?

Please, may I use your phone to call my husband?

It's the least you can do.

Mmm.

Mrs. Young, I must ask you to leave or I'll have to call the police.

Please, go right ahead.

Lord Calthorpe, my apologies for the disturbance.

Eleanor! I just got off the phone with your husband.

Get the Lancaster Suite ready. Now.

Surely you're joking, sir.

I assure you, I'm not.

As of this evening, my family's long history as custodians of the Calthorpe is ended.

I'm selling the hotel to my dear friends, the Young family of Singapore.

Meet the new lady of the house, Eleanor Young.

Join me for a toast.

We'd be delighted.

Do get a mop. The floor's wet.

Get a mop.

I'm all in.

Fold.

Oh...

Nothing?

This whole time you had nothing?

All right, so how did I beat T.A. Curtis so very, very badly?

Well, I know for a fact that Curtis is cheap.

So he's not playing using logic or math, but using his psychology.

Our brains so hate the idea of losing something that's valuable to us that we abandon all rational thought, and we make some really poor decisions.

So, Curtis wasn't playing to win.

He was playing not to lose.

Here. Put it towards a haircut.

All right, that's it for today.

Don't forget your essays on conditional probability are due next week.

Yes! Mmm-hmm.

You know what? You can order your own.

Mmm. I'm okay with coffee. Thanks.

Yeah, well, you always say that, and then you end up eating all my dessert.

I don't know what you're talking about.

'Cause I have, like, a tiny bit.

Uh-huh. Okay. Can we have one more of these, please? Thank you.

So what about us taking an adventure east?

You wanna get pork buns in the East Village.

That's what it is, isn't it?

I was actually thinking of further east.

Like Queens?

Like Singapore. For spring break.

Colin's wedding.

We've been dating for over a year now, and I think it's about time people met my beautiful girlfriend.

Come on, I'm Colin's best man.

Don't you wanna see where I grew up?

Meet my family, my Ah Ma?

And meet up with that strange college roommate of yours.

Peik Lin.

Mmm-hmm. Peik Lin. She has been begging me to come visit her, you know.

The universe has spoken. It wants you over there.

Come to Singapore.

I want the whole island to meet the brilliant Rachel Chu.

Aww.

"If then you have been raised with Christ, "seek the things that are above

"where Christ is seated

"at the right hand of God.

"Set your minds on things that are above, "not on things that are on Earth."

Eleanor, is Nicki bringing a girl to Colin's wedding?

My Amanda heard it from her friend Francesca.

Eddie says her name is Rachel Chu.

Oh, I thought that Nick was coming alone.

Did you know he had a girlfriend?

Nick dates many girls. It's hard to keep track.

Amanda knows everyone and she has never heard of her.

Rachel Chu.

Maybe she's from the Taiwan plastics Chu family.

If you want, I have a private investigator.

Very discreet.

I think we should return to the word of God.

Alix.

Ephesians. Chapter six, verse four.

"Bring up your children in the discipline

"and instruction of the Lord."

Oh, I do hope she's a good Christian girl.

Well, if he's bringing her home, it must be serious.

Exactly.

Oh.

It's my mum. Do you mind? Mmm. Go ahead.

All right.

Save me some of that. Okay.

Hey, Mum, everything okay?

Does something have to be wrong for me to call?

Yeah, usually.

Very funny.

Are you bringing the girl you're seeing to Colin's wedding?

Mmm. We were literally just talking about that.

How could you know?

Everybody knows.

Radio One Asia.

Move on to Corinthians. I'll catch up.

Oh, yes.

We're looking forward to having you home.

And your room is all ready for you.

Thanks, Mum.

But Rachel and I will be staying together.

I see.

Well, I'm having the house re-done.

And it's not ready for guests.

If Rachel comes, I think she might be more comfortable staying somewhere else.

All right, sorry about that.

I saved you a piece.

You did, did you? A very small piece at that.

Thank you very much.

How's your mom? Everything okay?

Couldn't be better.

Hey, Mom, this one's kind of cute. What do you think?

No, no! You can't wear that to meet Nick's Ah Ma.

Blue and white is for Chinese funerals.

Now this, this symbolizes good fortune and fertility.

Great! I was really going for that "lucky baby maker" vibe.

Hey! You're the one who asked for my help picking out a dress to meet Nick's family.

It's only 'cause I hardly know anything about them.

Every time I bring them up, Nick changes the subject.

Maybe he's embarrassed.

Maybe his parents are poor, and he has to send them money.

That's what all good Chinese children do.

Oh, you're going to have a wonderful time.

You've always wanted to go to Asia.

And who knows, if all goes well in Singapore, you might just come back with a souvenir.

Oh, Mom, stop!

Nick and I haven't even talked about that.

I mean, his parents can't not like me, right?

What was that look? I saw that.

Nothing. It's just, Nick bringing a girl all the way there to meet them can mean a lot to these overseas families. They're different from us.

How are they different? They're Chinese, I'm Chinese.

I'm so Chinese, I'm an economics professor with lactose intolerance.

Yeah, but you grew up here.

You're different.

But wearing a lucky color will make a good first impression.

Okay, game plan.

Check our bags, get through security, and then we could eat one of the three homemade Tupperware meals my mom packed for us.

Good afternoon, Mr. Young, Miss Chu.

We'll take your bags and get you checked into first class.

Great. Oh. No, there's a mistake.

We're not first class. We're economy people.

This way, please.

Just go with it. Come on.

But...

Yeah, they'll be fine. Just leave them there.

Welcome aboard, Mr. Young, Miss Chu.

Here's the way to your private suite.

And some champagne.

Thank you.

Thank you very much. You're welcome.

After takeoff, would you like to enjoy the lounge chairs, or should we convert your suite into a bedroom?

Uh... We're good. Thank you.

Enjoy.

Nick. We can't afford this. Mmm.

These pajamas are fancier than any of my real clothes.

My family has business with the airline.

The tickets, they're a perk.

What kind of business?

Real estate, investment, other things.

Nothing interesting.

"Dim sum."

So your family is, like, rich?

We're comfortable.

That is exactly what a super-rich person would say.

It's not a big deal, obviously.

I just think it's kind of weird that I had no idea.

I mean, you have a Jamba Juice card.

You use my Netflix password.

You play basketball at that Y that kind of smells.

I really like that place, thank you very much.

And yes, my family has money, but I've always thought of it as theirs.

Not mine.

I get that. But I'm going all the way over there to meet them...

Kind of just wanna know what I'm getting into.

And, you know, they're your family.

Well...

My family is much like anybody else's.

Mmm-hmm.

There's half of them that you love and respect, and then there's the other half.

Which half am I meeting?

Well, there's my cousin Alistair, based in Taiwan, works in movies.

And cut!

He's dating Kitty Pong, an actress.

Kitty. Alistair.

You like it? I was feeling very, very the emotions. Can you feel it?

Oh, I can feel all of you. And all of me.

Okay, and what about your cousin Eddie?

You don't ever talk about him.

Well, Eddie's a big finance guy in Hong Kong.

A real family man.

You know, if you move, it will look more natural.

No, this way you get our optimal angles.

Then we're done.

Russell, thank you so much.

It's an honor to be photographed by you.

My pleasure. People will love it in the next Hong Kong Vogue.

Thank you, Russell.

Hong Kong Vogue? I knew it. Your dress is a disaster.

If you wore a Bottega gown, like I told you to, we'd be in the American Vogue.

You can wear that gown to Hell, Eddie.

Stop!

Then there's Astrid.

Ah. I remember Astrid.

She's like who I wanna be when I grow up.

Astrid is awesome.

And she's probably the only one I'm actually close with.

And she's really grounded and down to earth, once you get to know her.

Not only did she graduate top of her class at Oxford, start multiple charities, and is a fashion icon, Astrid has the biggest heart of any of my cousins.

Mummy? See what I made for bunny?

No, not now.

Hi, I'm Astrid. What's your name?

Vita.

And who's this?

Bun-Bun.

Well, I think Bun-Bun looks very dashing with his bow.

You have a good eye.

Thank you.

Miss Leong, right this way.

It's very nice to meet you both.

These are all brand-new from Antwerp.

You're the first person I've shown them to.

What are those?

Those?

Those are very special.

Burmese pearl drop earrings.

Set with emeralds, and rare pigeon blood-red rubies.

They were worn by Queen Supayalat at her self-anointed coronation in 1878.

How much?

Having you wear one of my pieces is better publicity than I can buy.

I'll let them go at cost. 1.2 million.

So if you have all this family there, why are we staying in a hotel?

Aren't good Chinese sons supposed to stay with their parents?

Well, because A, I'm not that good a son.

And B,

I just want you to myself, just for a bit.

That okay?

Okay.

God, I can't believe this airport has a butterfly garden and a movie theater.

JFK is just salmonella and despair.

Nick! Nick!

Araminta!

I missed you. I missed you, too.

Rachel. Hi.

There he is.

It's so nice to finally meet you.

It's so nice to meet you, too.

Nicki-Nick! It's been too long, brother.

It has been too long. Welcome back.

You guys didn't have to pick us up.

Of course we did. We had to.

Of course I had to come welcome my best man properly.

Hi, Rachel. Hello.

Oh! Lovely to finally meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

Shall we? Let me help you with this.

Yes.

These are for you. I can grab these.

I know they're a bit over-the-top.

Let's get you guys localized.

Are you hungry? I'm always hungry.

So let's eat everything we can.

Welcome to heaven on earth!

I hope you're hungry. I am bloody starving.

Guys! Here! Whoo!

Come with me.

Each of these hawker stalls sells pretty much one dish, and they've been perfecting it for generations.

You know, this is one of the only places in the world where street food vendors actually earn Michelin stars.

Hey! How are you? Uncle.

Long time no see, my friend.

Here you go. Thank you very much, sir.

Look at this. Look at this. My favorite.

Hmm.

One of those for you.

Yes, thank you.

Looks a little vomity.

Oh, my God! Yes?

I told you. Best satay on the island for sure.

So yummy, isn't it?

All right, dig in, guys. Oh.

Before I forget, I need your help tomorrow.

I need to do some groomsmen stuff, and I don't wanna do it alone with Bernard Tai.

I still cannot believe that you got that guy to be your groomsman.

Thank you. Thank you. I rest my case.

Minty...

Well, it wasn't up to me, was it? It's not my choice.

Bernard is the human douche nozzle who used to steal my tuck shop money when we were kids.

Until Nicki-Nick beat him up.

Well... You beat somebody up?

I threw a single punch.

I fell on the floor and the guy sat on me.

So, wasn't really much of a fight.

A toast, guys.

To my best man, Nick Young, who can't fight for nuts, but will always have your back.

A toast to married life. To...

Not yet! Too early. Oh, God!

Well, this time next week, guys!

We gotta get over your bachelor party first, matey.

Is that necessary, man? Come on!

Listen, Rachel, I know we've only just met, but it's my bachelorette party this weekend, and I would love for you to come.

That'll be amazing.

Thank you so much! Good! Good!

Am I out of the picture? Thanks, man.

Am I totally out of the picture?

Yes, I've replaced you with Bernard.

Screw that man!

Also, I have to say, I can't remember the last time I saw Nick like this.

That's funny, though.

He's just happy to be home.

Oh, yeah, he's just happy to be home.

With you.

Your dad will be the death of you.

My dad will be the death of me.

Oh, cheers to that.

Guys, we have to dig in

'cause this crab is not gonna eat itself.

What should I try first?

Try some of this. Thank you. Do you want some of this?

It's really spicy. It is really spicy.

Whoo!

Nick's in Singapore!

It's good to be home.

Is Michael here? Not yet, ma'am.

Also, your son woke up. He wants to see you.

All right.

You know what to do. Quickly.

I'm sorry. Got stuck in a meeting.

It's okay. I get it.

But don't forget, wedding festivities start on Wednesday, so no emergencies next week.

I know.

Wouldn't dream of missing a second with your family and their friends.

Come on, it won't be all bad.

Nick and his new girlfriend will be there.

You'll like her.

Oh, yeah?

Why? 'Cause she's a commoner like me?

You know that's not what I meant.

Ooh.

You know, I thought I caught the maids trying to shove a pair of Jimmy Choos behind a dryer.

Yeah, I don't know why you bother trying to hide your shopping from me.

You can buy whatever you want.

I get it. Besides, everybody knows you wear the money pants in this family.

Pants are overrated.

Oh, I got you something, too.

To celebrate the launch of your startup.

I know you don't like expensive gifts, but you're not a captain in the army anymore.

You're a CEO. You should look the part.

I...

I love it. Thank you.

What time is it?

Morning.

I'm afraid it's time for me to do some groomsman duties.

Stay in bed.

You stay here. I'll get you a breakfast tray.

You know what? I should get up, too.

I told Peik Lin I would meet up with her today.

Ah, a little college reunion.

But don't forget. Dinner at Ah Ma's tonight.

The whole family's gonna be there.

Yes. I can't wait to show you off.

Hubba, hubba.

How can I resist?

Ooga-ooga.

You put those glasses on on purpose.

New York in the house!

Yeah! Yeah!

Peik Lin!

What up, bitch? Yeah!

Oh, my God! You look amazing.

I know. Some things never change, right?

And this is quite a place.

Astor! Vanderbilt! Rockefeller!

Naughty, naughty boys. Stop barking.

Hey, Rachel! Hi!

Singapore is so hot. Come in and enjoy the aircon. Come on.

Whole family waiting to meet you. Very excited.

Rachel, welcome, welcome.

Wow! Oh, my gosh!

Your house is amazing, Mrs. Goh.

Call me Auntie. Auntie Neenah.

Sorry. Auntie Neenah.

Oh, yeah.

We were inspired by the Hall of Mirrors in Versailles.

And Donald Trump's bathroom.

Really? Yeah.

You like it or not?

Oh, yes. The gold is very brilliant.

Rachel Chu, we are so grateful for all the help you have given my Peik Lin back in her uni days.

I mean, without you, she would be a hot mess.

Oh, my God, no. Actually, if it wasn't for her, I'd be a big mess.

She was a huge help to me in college.

It's nice to meet you, Mr. Goh.

Nice to meet you, too, Chu.

Ku-ku. Ku-Chu. You. Poo-poo.

No, I'm just kidding.

I don't have an accent.

I'm just messing with you.

No, I studied in the States, too.

Yeah, Cal State Fullerton.

I majored in Thought. Mmm.

Don't stand on ceremony, Rachel.

This is simple food, lah.

Ah, cha, cha, cha! Don't be shy.

Oh. Thank you. You're not a model.

I'm definitely not.

No, you're not. Not at all. Far from it.

I know.

Make sure you eat it all.

'Cause I'm watching you.

Okay, thank you. Okay, yeah.

Ah Pa, can we go trampoline? ...go trampoline?

You haven't finished your nuggets yet, sweetie.

Okay, there's a lot of children starving in America, right?

I mean, take a look at her. She's American, huh?

Really skinny. You wanna look like that?

No.

Then eat your nuggets!

So, Rachel, what you do in America?

Um...

I'm an economics professor. Wow.

Very impressive. Econ professor, eh?

Wow, you must be very smart. Good for you.

Let me get this straight.

You both went to the same school, yet someone came back with a degree that's useful.

And the other one came back as Asian Ellen.

Psst, P.T.

Hmm?

Look over here.

She's a hottie.

This is the kind of girl you should date.

Smart, beautiful. Not those like K-Pop skanks with no brain, big eyes and small backsides.

She has an amazing backside.

This is Goh standard.

Don't be shy. Just talk to her.

I love you.

Okay. No, just, uh...

Pa, she's here with her boyfriend.

I don't see no ring on her finger.

Well, my boyfriend's actually from Singapore and that's why we're here.

We're here to go to his best friend's wedding, where he's gonna be the best man.

Hmm. What's his name?

This is a very small island. Maybe we know his family.

His name is Nick Young.

Uh...

The Nick you're dating is Nick Young?

His best friend...

You're invited to Colin Khoo's wedding, ah?

Yeah. You guys know them or something?

Hells yeah.

The Khoos, the Youngs...

I mean, who doesn't know who they are?

They're just the biggest developers...

...in all of Singapore.

And Malaysia, Thailand, Brunei, New Mexico.

She gets it.

Colin and Araminta's wedding is Singapore's event of the century.

The Youngs are like royalty.

Did you not know? Does she not know?

Why you never say before?

Tell, tell, what are they like?

I don't really know what they're...

I haven't met them yet. I'm gonna meet them tonight.

I'm going to Nick's grandma's house.

You're going to Nick's grandma's house wearing this?

Wearing that?

No way. No way.

Yeah, I thought red was a lucky color, right?

Yeah. If you're an envelope. Zing! Nailed it!

Zing!

Rachel, these people aren't just rich, okay?

They're crazy rich. Look.

There's new money all over Asia.

We got the Beijing billionaires, the Taiwan tycoons...

But the Young family, they're old-money rich.

They had money when they left China in the 1800s.

And they went all the way down here.

Not there... Here.

They came to Singapore when there was nothing but jungle and pig farmers.

There was a snake here, eating an apple.

You know what I mean? And they built all of this.

Now, they're the landlords of the most expensive city in the world. Here you go.

These people are so posh and snobby, they're snoshy.

Here you go.

Yeah, but Nick's not like that.

Even if he isn't, I guarantee you the family is.

Which is why tonight, you need to not look like Sebastian of The Little Mermaid.

You know, the little crab guy?

Look at this guy, he's sleeping.

Come on, this isn't your grandma's road.

God damn it!

Thank you for driving me.

Duh. This is like my one chance to see the Young family mansion. Mmm.

At the next intersection, make a U-turn.

Make a U-turn.

Are you sure you gave me the right address?

The GPS says there's, like, nothing here.

Like, literally nothing.

I don't know why we're here.

I mean, I put in the exact address.

You copied and you pasted it? Yeah.

Did you just copy and paste "jungle" and just kind of threw it in there?

No. This is the address... Because I feel like that's...

You actually used the... Okay! All right.

That's a... Uh, hi! So we'll just...

Hello, sir. How are you?

We're here for the party, and we're...

We come in peace.

Do you know where the Young family house is?

Nicholas Young? I'm Rachel Chu.

I'm here to go to his family dinner.

Uh, Rachel Chu for the list. If there is a list.

He's on the phone. He's on the phone.

Is that a g*n knife? It's a knife g*n.

Okay, and there's a friend. Hi! Very nice to...

We can go through? We're going through? Okay.

Don't s*ab the car. Okay.

Okay, okay. Thank you, bye!

Oh, my God, it's beautiful.

Beautiful? It's 200 mil worth of real estate.

It's spectacular.

Damn, Rachel. He's like the Asian Bachelor.

Thanks, brother.

Hello, gorgeous.

Wow! I think I've just fallen in love with you all over again.

Rachel!

I missed you, too.

Yeah? What did you get up to?

Psst! Rachel!

Oh, uh, this is my friend, Peik Lin.

Hi, there. Howdy.

Thank you very much for bringing Rachel.

Oh, no worries.

Do you wanna stop by for some dinner?

Oh, no, I couldn't impose. No, it's not a problem.

I had some dinner plans. Seriously, we've got...

Yeah, I'll f*cking come to dinner.

I missed you. Did you?

Yes. How was your day?

It was fun! I got to meet Peik Lin's whole family, her dog.

Nope.

You have a cocktail dress in your trunk?

I'm not an animal, Rachel.

I thought this was just a family thing.

My grandmother's invited some of her friends over tonight.

Her tan huas are blooming. It's a whole thing.

You ready for this?

Oh, damn, Nick. It's a party though. Okay.

The good bathrooms are up the stairs, and you can get changed in there.

Okay, good, I'll find it. Thank you.

You know, when you said you grew up in your grandma's house, I wasn't expecting this.

Thank you.

Oh, no, no. Those are for your fingers.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

A little bit much, I know.

I mean, this place is gorgeous.

And like the rolling green hills.

I mean, there are armed guards out there.

And a giant tiger.

Okay.

That is Mr. Harimau.

Now, my great-grandfather actually shot him when he ran into the house.

But Astrid and I, we used to hide cigarettes in his paws.

Do you wanna head in?

Actually, I wanted to bring you over to my mum first. Oh.

Come on.

Mum.

You need a haircut. So unkempt.

And you look tired from your trip.

I'm gonna ask the cook to make you some herbal soup.

I'll send it to the hotel later.

Mum, this is Rachel Chu.

Oh, my gosh! I'm so happy to meet you, Mrs. Young.

Or Auntie. Right?

I'm learning the lingo.

I'm very glad to finally meet you, too.

And I'm sorry Nick's father couldn't be here.

He was called to business in Shanghai.

I told Rachel when duty calls, Dad answers.

As it should be.

Nick tells me you're a professor, too.

What do you teach?

Um, I teach economics.

And she's brilliant. NYU's youngest faculty member.

So, economics...

Sounds challenging.

Are your parents academics as well?

No. Well, my dad actually died before I was born, and my mom didn't even go to college.

She actually hardly spoke any English when she immigrated to the United States.

But she worked really hard, and she studied, and she earned her real estate license while she was waiting tables to support us.

Now, she likes to say that she's Flushing's top real estate broker.

Self-made woman. She must be so proud of you.

Well, she knows that I'm passionate about what I do, and she's always wanted that for me.

Pursuing one's passion. How American.

Well, your mother's very open-minded, not like here, where parents are obsessed with shaping the life of their children.

That's dinner.

Go ahead.

I'll be out in a minute.

Rachel, it was lovely meeting you.

Thank you. You, too.

Okay, she hates me.

She takes a little minute to warm up, but we'll get there. A minute?

Nicki! Rachel! Astrid.

Hey. Good to see you.

I'm so glad you could make it.

Michael. Nick.

Astrid. So good to see a face I know.

This is my husband, Michael.

Nice to meet you. Heard so much about you.

Nice to meet you, Michael.

Hey, the golden boy's back! Nick!

And you must be Rachel.

I'm Edison Cheng. This is my wife.

Hi. I'm... Her name is Fiona.

So I see you've already met Princess Astrid and her little soldier toy-boy, Mikey.

You know, Mikey is a big-shot tech startup guy.

So if you forget your password, he's your man.

So you're from the Taiwan plastic Chus, right?

Can I punch him in the face? Just once.

Take a number.

I'll be in my usual corner. Champagne?

Thank you.

So, have you prepped Rachel to face the wolves?

Rachel is a New Yorker.

She lectures millennials for a living.

I think she'll manage our family.

You've been away too long.

Okay, sorry, time out.

So you're not from a Taiwan Chu family?

Nope.

Hong Kong telecom Chus?

No.

Malaysian packing peanut Chus?

Is that really a thing?

Yeah, it's everywhere. I'm gonna stop you there because I'm gonna take her on the rounds.

We'll be back, though. No, wait. Hang on.

China instant noodle Chus. Rachel, Chu are you?

Ugh. Let's go.

This is Auntie Alix and Auntie Felicity.

Hi! It's so nice to meet you.

I've never been to a tan hua party before.

We love any excuse to throw a soiree.

Do your parents like to entertain?

Oh. I'm sorry. Your mother's single.

Yup.

Auntie Jacqueline.

One of my parents' oldest friends.

I actually met Nick's father at Cambridge.

So, what line of work is your father in?

Oh, my father died before I was born.

But he was a factory worker in China.

This is Ling Cheh, my old nanny.

Look, now's the time we need all hands on deck.

Please, please, just do me this favor.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

They started clearing away dinner.

Your favorites.

Thank you.

You know if you need bodies at the office, I could always come in and help out.

The glamorous Astrid Leong working as an assistant? Mmm-hmm.

Wait, isn't Araminta's bachelorette party tomorrow?

And this will be the perfect excuse to get out of it.

Thank you. Really.

But I've got everything covered.

Okay.

I forgot to get you a fork.

It's okay, you stay. I'll go get it.

Michael, I think it's the office.

Oh, my God! Nick, I can't believe I just did that.

It's fine. I don't think anybody even noticed.

I think I freaked out your nanny...

Oh, my God!

So sorry.

It's fine, don't worry about it.

Can I have a tissue please?

Go, go. Get changed. I'll keep Rachel company.

Thank you, Oli. You're in good hands.

Give me two minutes. I'll change.

Sorry.

Hi, I'm Rachel.

Oh, I know.

Rachel! Rachel!

I heard you thought Ah Ma was the cook!

Ahh!

On the bright side, you're the talk of the party.

People like your dress.

Oh, I did that.

Oh. I know!

Such a chic '70s goddess.

I know.

It's very disco Cleopatra, but in a good way.

That's exactly what I was going for.

Oh, well. Oliver.

Hi. I like your shoes.

Oh, thank you. I'm Peik Lin. Ditto.

Cheers. There you go.

Gosh, these are lovely.

They're clip-ons. Thank you.

Are they? Oh, wow!

So, Oliver, are you a cousin, too?

Mmm. Well, I'm one of the poorer relations.

The rainbow sheep of the family.

But I make myself useful.

Whatever the Youngs want, I procure.

Golden koi fish, Huanghuali furniture.

A rare Cambodian gong.

Why would they want to buy a rare Cambodian gong?

Because they can.

Ah Ma insists all your clothes be washed and pressed every two weeks.

This one.

Everything is exactly as I left it.

Looking for your cigars?

I had them thrown out years ago.

Never could get anything past you, could I?

I keep telling Ah Ma to put your things away, but she says this room makes her feel like you're still here.

Well, I got an earful when you didn't move back last year.

Your father and I were really looking forward to having you home.

He's not getting any younger.

With you onboard, maybe he'll take a day off once in a while.

I know, Mum.

I'm just not ready yet.

There's things in New York that I wanna see through.

Well, I'm happy I finally met Rachel.

She is very impressive.

I think so, too.

I thought you might be excited that the first girl that I bring home is a Chinese professor.

Chinese American.

You know, bringing her home, introducing her at a large family gathering, some people may say...

When there's something to say about Rachel and me, you'll be first to hear.

But some things I need to figure out on my own.

Is that an American accent I'm hearing?

How do I look?

Perfect.

Everyone! Everyone!

The tan hua plants very rarely bloom, and even then only at night.

Their beauty is spectacular but fleeting.

By dawn, they'll be gone.

Come. Come.

Oh, someone forgot to wear a bra.

Kitty Pong. Cousin Alistair's latest flame. An actress.

Rumor is, she was in a porno. Two Girls, One Cup of Noodles.

You know, I thought I would like that more than I did.

The book was much better. Mmm-hmm.

Is it just me or are people staring at me?

Oh, they're just jealous. You nabbed the crown prince.

Nicki is Ah Ma's favorite, in line to inherit everything.

No surprise there when that's the competition.

Oh, speaking of the grande dame...

There you are.

I've been looking all over for you.

You ready to meet my grandmother?

Ah Ma...

Look, they're in full bloom.

It's so nice having Nick back home.

But he seems different.

When children are away from home too long, they forget who they are.

What's up? Let's jam!

Rachel! So happy you're here. Oh!

Oh, my God. Your Gap look, brilliant.

Thanks.

She's coming with me. Uh, hold on.

Kiss. 36 hours. Bye.

Minty, one piece please. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Not listening at all.

So, I'm gonna intro you to my posse.

We're flying to my mom's resort in Sumatra.

She's closed down the whole place just for us.

We're gonna have so much fun.

Come on, meet the girls. Girls, this is Rachel Chu.

Hi!

So you let Bernard Tai organize all of this?

Yeah.

Bernard.

Hey.

This is for you, assh*le.

Tina! Tini! The twins are in the house!

I'm so glad you made it! How are you?

It's easy to make a k*ller entrance when you come as a matching set.

Hi, we haven't met. I'm Amanda Ling.

Hi, I'm Rachel Chu.

Oh, you're Nick Young's friend.

Yeah. Word gets around fast here.

You're a professor at NYU, right?

Yes. Um, what about you?

Oh, I'm a lawyer. General counsel to the Young Family Corporation, actually.

That's very impressive.

Mmm. Nah. Just good, old-fashioned nepotism.

I grew up with Nick and Colin. We're family friends.

It's nice to meet you, Rachel Chu.

Ladies, come on. We're wheels up in five.

Let's do this?

Let's go.

Yeah!

All I wanted was a weekend away with my boys.

And some beer. Maybe some rugby.

Don't worry. It's gonna be great, whatever happens.

Yeah.

Let's make some babies!

I don't think it will be.

Any assh*le can plan a normal stag party.

Hookers, dr*gs, dog-fighting.

That's minor league shit.

To organize a party this massive...

Takes a massive assh*le.

...takes a g*dd*mn mastermind.

Where exactly is this party?

It's right there.

Bloody hell!

Whoo!

Did you just see that?

Oh, my God, Nick. What are you worried about?

You don't have to keep Rachel happy.

She's just lucky to be here.

Nice, Eddie.

Oh, what?

So we're gonna pretend like that's not the truth?

Are we in some kind of fairy tale story that I don't know about?

Did you find a shoe at midnight and jump in a pumpkin?

Yo, I got so much shit about marrying Fiona, and her parents own the biggest shipping company in Hong Kong.

Hey, Araminta's adorable, but you think your dad would be spending millions on this wedding if her parents didn't own a billion-dollar resort chain?

What's Rachel bringing to the table?

Oh! Small tits!

Oh!

Hey. It's not worth it, man. They're drunk.

Hey, guys, this is boring. Massage time.

And you, the bachelor, you're gonna get one before this weekend is over.

Or we're gonna tie you up and shave your coo coo chara.

Coo coo chara!

Hey, come try this.

We have to get off this ship.

Welcome to paradise.

This is Samsara Island.

This weekend is about sisterhood and connecting with the divine in all of us.

So, I hope you'll all find your bliss, starting with an all-paid shopping spree at the fashion boutique!

Come on! Come on!

Bitch, I saw this first!

But you have ping pong tits!

What about your mosquito bites?

No! You know it's true!

One more minute! You keep what you can carry.

One more minute! You keep what you can carry.

Yeah, no one loves free stuff more than rich people.

Just the one dress for you?

I don't wanna lose an arm.

Ooh. Well, in that case,

one last touch.

Well, isn't Nick a lucky guy.

Time's up!

Next stop... Spa!

You're a genius. You know that, right?

What's a best man for?

Guess that pilot's license came in handy after all.

Here you go, champ.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Mmm. I think that is the best beer I've ever had.

I'm gonna have to agree with you on that.

You know, if it wasn't for Araminta, I'd ask you to marry me.

Although,

there is a little something that might get in the way of that.

Mmm.

No! Yeah.

Is that real? Yes.

Wow! Yes! Yes.

Yes, man! Congratulations!

I know. That is freaking amazing.

I'm ready. You're ready.

You're doing it.

Nick, I'm really happy for you, man.

Thanks, dude.

I think my masseuse just got me pregnant.

I can see why Nick put off coming back to Singapore.

What do you mean?

You know, he was supposed to come back last year, take over the family business.

His parents freaked out when he didn't.

But, now that he's back, I'm sure all is forgiven.

But he's not back for good.

I mean, we're just here for a wedding.

Wow!

But?

No, I'm really happy for you.

Colin, I've known you since you were in nappies.

I know when there's something on your mind.

Well, it wasn't that long ago that you were sure you were moving back home.

And I mean, Rachel loves her job in New York.

Yeah, we're gonna figure that out.

You're going to figure it out. Right.

Rachel, I get it.

It's hard knowing where you stand with someone like Nicholas Young.

He has all that pressure from his family.

Not just in business, but in who he's dating.

It's like, you just never know what's quite going on in that gorgeous head of his.

Nick told you that we were together, right?

It's ancient history now.

Although our families, particularly his mother, always wanted us to get married.

I guess we weren't ready then.

Dude, ever since primary school, you were always going to be the next chairman of the Young Corporation, your family's shining heir.

You really think your family's going to accept anything less than that?

I mean, unless you...

No.

Are you thinking of walking out?

Leaving everything to bloody Alistair and Eddie?

I'm not walking out on anything.

I met a girl, I fell in love and I want to marry her.

And it can't just be one thing or the other.

Uh... No, no, no.

It's not that simple. You know that.

I really admire you.

It takes guts coming all the way over here, facing Nick's family.

Especially when Eleanor isn't exactly in your corner.

Okay, your family aside, have you ever thought about what your relationship with Rachel will be like if you got married?

I mean, okay, you're Nicholas Young. You're untouchable.

You always have been. But Rachel's not.

And if she becomes Mrs. Nicholas Young, every day for her is going to be a struggle.

I heard she told Tini that Nick is a good catch.

So typical. She's not even that pretty.

It's like she's never heard of plastic surgery.

Oh, shit.

Sorry.

You sure she's ready for that?

Rachel?

I'm so sorry. It's okay.

Let's just forget about those girls.

Camp out here and order room service?

I'll call security.

No.

I'm not gonna make a scene.

I'm not gonna give them the satisfaction.

This weekend was supposed to be mani-pedis, cocktails served in pineapples.

This definitely wasn't on the menu.

Why would Araminta even have friends like that?

They're so mean.

Well, you grow up your whole lives together, you make excuses for people.

Specially the morons.

I mean, I know Michael didn't have to deal with catty, fish-k*lling sociopaths.

How did you two get through all this?

Well, I didn't have it quite as bad, but it wasn't pretty.

Well, at least tell me it gets better.

Of course it does.

You okay?

Yeah.

Actually... No.

You could talk to me.

Michael is having an affair.

I'm really sorry, Astrid.

I thought I was here to meet your family, go to your best friend's wedding, eat some good food.

Instead, I feel like I'm a villain in a soap opera who's plotting to steal your family fortune.

What happened?

I mean, I met Amanda.

She told me that everyone here thinks that I'm the evil person that prevented you from moving back to Singapore last year, when I didn't even know you were supposed to come home.

You have every reason to be upset.

I'm not done yet.

There was also this gutted, bloody fish that Araminta's friends left for me in my hotel room on my bed next to the words, "Catch this, you gold-digging bitch."

Written in big, fat serial-k*ller letters.

Is that all that happened?

I mean, please tell me that's all that happened.

You know what? I don't even care about those stupid girls with their stupid little designer handbags and sunglasses. I don't care about that.

I don't care that your ex-girlfriend told me all this crap.

It's that you didn't tell me any of it.

I screwed up.

Why? Were you trying to test me?

I really messed up, okay?

Why would you do that? I made a mistake.

When we first met, you had no idea who I was, who my family were. You didn't care!

Yeah, I don't care about that stupid stuff.

Well, exactly.

You are so different from all of the women that I grew up with.

And I love who I am around you.

I don't want that to change.

And that's selfish, I know. Mmm-hmm.

I'm sorry that you had to deal with that on your own.

But I'm here now.

Whatever happens, we'll get through it together.

Dead fish and all.

All right?

It was so gross.

But I buried it.

You dealt with it.

Come here.

You know what? We need to do something tonight.

We need to do something that's just you and me, okay?

100% agree. Yes.

But we do have to go make some dumplings first.

Okay?

And can we eat them?

We can eat as many as you like.

Okay, fine.

This is too much.

We're hosting a rehearsal dinner, not feeding an army.

Better too many than have people say we're stingy.

So, right.

You put the baby in bed.

You tuck, tuck, tuck. Same on the other side.

You give him a kiss good night.

That's so cute.

How's that? And then you eat the baby.

Then you eat the baby after he's cooked.

No, you gotta make sure he's cooked.

Did your Ah Ma teach you that?

She did.

I, on the other hand, was taught by Grand-Auntie Mabel.

You put the Botox in the face, and then you pinch, pinch, pinch.

Then, voila!

Did you guys all learn when you were kids?

We didn't have a choice.

We taught you so you'd know the blood, sweat, and tears it took to raise and feed you monkeys.

Not like the ang-mohs microwaving macaroni and cheese for their own children.

No wonder they put their parents in the old folks' home when they all grow up.

I know!

Ah Ma says if we don't pass traditions down like this, they'll disappear.

God forbid, we lose the ancient Chinese tradition of guilting your children.

It's totally worth it.

Mother used to wait for me after school with a nice basket of these.

Hey, I never got after-school dumplings.

Well, that's because Auntie Felicity was doing after-school microdermabrasion.

Auntie, this is Dolce.

You speak Cantonese?

No, I don't.

It's just great seeing you guys all like this.

When I was growing up, it was just me and my mom, which I loved.

But we didn't really have a big family like this.

It's really nice.

Oh, that's so lovely of you to say, Rachel.

We are all very lucky to have each other.

That's a beautiful ring, Auntie Eleanor.

I've never seen anything like it.

Nick's father had it made when he proposed to me.

That's very romantic. How did you guys meet?

Actually, they met at Cambridge.

They were both studying law together.

Oh, I didn't know you were a lawyer.

I wasn't. I withdrew from university when we got married.

Oh.

I chose to help my husband run a business and to raise a family.

For me, it was a privilege.

But for you, you may think it's old-fashioned.

It's nice you appreciate this house and us being here together wrapping dumplings.

But all this doesn't just happen.

It's because we know to put family first, instead of chasing one's passion.

Ah Ma...

Thank you.

Oh, Nick.

Come and sit.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Oh, hi. I think I'm a little lost.

This house is pretty big.

I'm glad I found you.

I am afraid that I've been unfair.

Oh, no, you know what?

I'm sorry I made an assumption.

I didn't mean to offend you.

Not at all.

You asked about my ring.

The truth is Nick's father had it made when he wanted to propose to me because Ah Ma wouldn't give him the family ring.

I wasn't her first choice.

Honestly, I wasn't her second.

Gosh, I'm so sorry. I had no idea.

I didn't come from the right family, have the right connections.

And Ah Ma thought I would not make an adequate wife to her son.

But she came around, obviously.

It took many years, and she had good reason to be concerned.

Because I had no idea the work and the sacrifice it would take.

There were many days when I wondered if I would ever measure up.

But having been through it all, I know this much.

You will never be enough.

We should head back. I wouldn't want Nick to worry.

You all right?

Yeah.

I know my mum can be tough at times, but there isn't anything she wouldn't do for me.

And there is a reason why I lived with Ah Ma growing up.

It's because my mother knew she wasn't the favorite.

So she let her raise me, so I would be.

You were just a kid?

Yeah.

But it's hard to understand from the outside.

But she did what she thought was best for the family.

Mmm-hmm. For everyone involved.

Anyway, I think I've had enough with dumplings for the rest of my life.

What should we do?

Sushi, movies, anything you like. Really.

Wait, what?

Was she like, "You will never be good enough for my son"?

Or was it like, "You...

"You will never be good enough for my son"?

It's like the second one. Oh.

Except for in a way that made me wanna cry and puke at the same time.

Gosh, she's so badass.

You know, I bet if you told her you'd leave Nick for a million dollars, she will write that check. They do that around here.

And she looked at me like I was nothing.

Like a $10 million check.

I feel like she would do that.

I don't even know what I should do.

I mean, I can't even tell Nick because he worships her.

Yeah, Chinese sons think their moms fart Chanel No. 5.

What about the Ah Ma? Does she hate your face, too?

Okay, nobody said they hated my face.

And Ah Ma, she liked my face. She said I had a lucky nose.

That's great!

You know, Eleanor can hate you all day long, but you can't beat 2,000 years of Chinese filial piety.

I feel like I shouldn't even go to the wedding.

You know, it's Colin and Araminta's day.

I don't wanna cause any drama there.

I feel like I should just sit it out.

You know? Tell Nick I had food poisoning or something.

What? That's bullshit.

You're just scared. No, I'm not.

Okay, here's what you need to understand. All right?

It's not about getting Eleanor to like you.

It's about getting her to respect you, all right?

Right now, she just thinks you're some undeserving, clueless, gold-digging... Yeah, I got it.

...trashy, unrefined banana.

Yellow on the outside, white on the inside.

I know what a banana is.

When, in reality, you're a super sophisticated, smart professor of freaking game theory.

Show her that side of you, you know?

You're right.

Damn straight, I'm right.

It's Peik Lin, I'm always right.

Yeah, she's like trying to play a game of chicken with me.

Where she's like coming at me, and thinking I'm going to swerve like a chicken.

But you can't swerve.

I'm not gonna swerve. Not for her.

No. Chickens are b*tches, dude!

And I'm not a chicken. You're not a chicken.

You're gonna roll up to that wedding, you're gonna be like, "Bak-bak, bitch!"

Bak-bak, bitch!

Chickens are b*tches.

Sorry, Uncle.

What are you doing tonight?

I was gonna go to FedEx or something.

Why? Oh!

I have been waiting to do this properly for so long.

I'm thinking eyebrow triage, root crimps, maybe some eyelid tape.

What do you think?

Ugh. All of it.

And I would throw in a Korean snail face mask.

Sweetie, your skin is so dry, it's hurting my face.

Thank you.

You know, it's about time someone stood up to Auntie Eleanor.

Well, you, not me. Oh, God!

She can't know I was ever here.

Oh, no.

Right. Well, okay, let's get to work. Cappuccinos.

Pull the plum Balenciaga, the peach Chloe, the Giambattista, all the Bottegas.

Oh, and that Jason Wu with the deconstructed ruffles.

And a sandwich for Peik Lin.

Oh! Okay. All right. Oh. Right.

I'm not sure if it's working or if she looks like a clown's tampon.

On a heavy day.

You look like a flower.

A sad, lonely flower no one wants to be around.

I mean, it's the wedding of the century.

So, of course, we're here. It's the natural...

Oh!

It's not that bad.

It's holding you up.

It's a hands-on dress. You know what I mean?

Incoming.

Okay.

I love my fans.

Taipei Tiger 2 is going to redefine the genre.

She's a star. She's a star. TT2, honey.

Oh!

I'm blinded by the light.

This is why disco died.

You kind of look like a slutty Ebola virus.

It's like a bag of Skittles. Taste the rainbow.

Could work if we...

Yes. I think we just ought to...

I just think if we could tell her this is coming from you

'cause she probably doesn't want to hear it from a guy.

Okay. Okay.

Okay, remember. Optimal angles.

Just right here! Just right here!

Ma'am.

Everyone, I've got Rachel Chu of New York.

Rachel Chu of New York.

Rachel! Rachel! To me!

Okay, ladies, looking good.

Out of the way, please. Out of the way.

So gorgeous! Thank you.

Ladies, move, please. Out of the way!

Good, that's great. Beautiful dress.

Ladies.

Amanda.

Mmm. You're in my way.

Okay, what?

Our Chinese investors are getting nervous.

I have to fly in to Shenzhen on Monday to try and talk them down.

That's Cassian's birthday.

Yeah, I know.

I hate to miss it, but this is important.

You'd think your son's birthday's important.

Get someone else to handle it.

Unless there's another reason you're out of town?

What are you saying?

I know you're having an affair.

Oh, Jesus. Astrid.

Let's just get through the wedding, and we'll deal with it after.

I don't wanna make a scene.

You find out I'm having an affair with another woman, and you're worried about making a scene?

You'd rather I scream and carry on?

Yes. Honestly, I wish you would.

It would show you cared about more than what people thought of you and your family.

Don't try and turn this on me.

I'm not the one who screwed up!

Of course not.

You're always the prettiest, richest, most perfect girl in the room.

While I'm just this lucky bastard who will never measure up.

Don't say that.

I know what you're thinking, Astrid.

That's why you hide your shoes, the jewelry you buy, as if every minute of my life I'm not reminded of it.

I'm just tired.

I'm tired of having nothing I do matter.

Including having the affair.

Of course what you do matters!

How can you say that?

Is this a church or a paddy field?

They spent 40 million on the wedding.

Really? That's too much.

We're Methodists. 20 million is our limit.

I know.

Princess Intan. Vicious woman.

I heard she demanded a whole row to herself, so she wouldn't be bothered by anyone.

Really?

Who is that?

Aunties.

Rachel, how lovely to see you.

The pleasure is all mine.

I'm sorry, our row is full.

I love it.

Bak-bak. Okay.

Princess Intan. Rachel Chu.

I read your great article about microloans in the Asian Economics Journal.

I received so much criticism about that article.

Well, you know what? I think your critics missed the point.

'Cause your microloans helped women, and women lift up economies.

What was your name, again?

Rachel Chu.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Now, what brings you here?

I followed a boy...

Ah Ma is here.

She never comes to these things.

How are you feeling?

Good. All right. Don't be nervous.

I'm not nervous. You look great.

Thank you.

Hey, Rachel's not sitting with your family.

Yeah. I don't blame her.

Mother hasn't exactly been the most welcoming.

But I'm sure she'll be at the back somewhere laying low.

No. She's right at the front. Take a look.

I think you've got a fighter.

Guys, it's time.

Okay. All right.

Hey. Yeah?

Make sure she doesn't take your balls.

Just joking. Just joking.

Thanks for dressing up, Bernard.

Hey. It's not about me.

Yeah. Come on. Thanks, Bernard.

It's not about me. All right.

You look spectacular, you know that?

It's the double Spanx. I can't breathe.

It's not the clothes. It's just you.

Uh, excuse me.

This party isn't gonna dance itself. Come on.

Come on, Nicki-Nick. All right.

You're very good.

Yeah? I only stepped on her twice. Very.

Oliver.

Yes, Auntie?

Be a dear and take care of that.

As you wish.

You know, you should wear a tux more often.

Like, all the time?

Mmm, yeah.

You know, when you're playing basketball at the Y, shaving, brushing your teeth.

Alistair, your father's looking for you.

Something about an overdrawn discretionary account.

Oh, my God.

Baby! Oh, my gosh!

Oh. Hi.

So, how do you like the wedding?

Oh, my gosh! It's so glamorous!

When it's Alistair's and my wedding, I want it just like this.

No, no, no! I want it big! Big! Better!

Sweetie!

You'll be lucky if Alistair's parents give you a tea ceremony.

You know Alistair's only the fourth son of a penny-pinching family, don't you?

I mean, he'll get next to nothing.

You want a wedding like this?

You should've fallen in love with an only child.

Someone like...

Bernard Tai.

Master Nicholas, your grandmother would like to speak to you and Miss Rachel.

Okay.

Sick party.

Yeah!

Hold that.

Ah Ma, Mum, what's all this about?

Ah Ma!

I'm sorry to tell you, but Rachel has been lying to us about her family and her mother.

What are... What are you talking about?

I hired a private investigator...

Mom, you didn't. ...to look into her past.

She said her father passed away in China...

Mum!

...but that's not true.

Your mother's husband is very much alive.

During her marriage, she cheated on him and became pregnant with another man's child.

And before he found out, she ran away to America.

It's all in here. You had no right!

We had every right! You did not!

You're lying!

Do you have any idea the scandal this would have caused for Rachel to hide something like this?

She wouldn't have.

We cannot be linked to this sort of family.

I don't want any part of your family.

Rachel.

Let me go! Rachel.

Nick!

Hey, Cinderella. What's wrong?

You gotta return your dress before midnight?

Nicki-Nick! Oh, you're just in time.

Oliver.

Oh, Nicki, have you... Rachel. Have you seen Rachel?

Nicholas! Hi!

It's been so long. Yes.

Amanda, no. Amanda, not now!

Rachel. Come to breakfast.

You need to eat.

Or use the bathroom, or maybe a shower.

It's there if you need it.

Here, Rachel. This is your dinner.

Thank you.

I'll stop by again tonight.

Rachel, please, just give me a call.

Anytime. Please.

Rachel, someone's here to see ya.

I don't want to see him.

It's not Nick.

Mom!

Drink more.

The dong-quai and the ginseng will give you more energy.

Thanks.

Your spirit has always been so strong, ever since young.

You will get through this.

Why didn't you tell me about my father?

My husband wasn't a good man.

He hurt me.

But an old schoolmate of mine helped me through things, and we fell in love, and I got pregnant with his baby.

That's you.

I was so afraid my husband would find out and k*ll us both, so I just took you and I ran to America.

Did you ever...

I don't know, think about trying to talk to him?

I mean, do you think about him?

Every day.

Oh.

When we first came to America, all I could think about was reaching out for him, but I was so afraid my husband would find us.

And now, I just don't want to cause any trouble.

Oh...

I'm really sorry.

Oh! Don't be sorry.

You listen to me.

Everything that happened in my past life is the reason why I got you.

My brave and clever girl.

I really thought he was the one.

Now, I just want to go home.

You know, Nick was the one who called me and brought me out here.

Before we go, I think you should go and talk to him.

I'll e-mail the photo later.

P.T., how long you been standing there?

Just a short while.

I'm so sorry about everything.

What my mother did to you is unforgivable.

It's not your fault. It is.

Ever since I can remember, my family has been my whole life.

And I am done making excuses for them.

Nick.

Marry me.

Marry me, and we'll start a new life together in New York.

Just you and me. I'll leave all of this behind.

Thanks for meeting me here.

Don't worry about them.

They're half deaf and they only speak Hokkien.

My mom taught me how to play.

She told me Mahjong would teach me important life skills.

Negotiation, strategy, cooperation.

You asked me here. I assume it's not for a Mahjong lesson.

Pong.

My mother taught me, too.

I know Nick told you the truth about my mom.

But you didn't like me the second I got here.

Why is that?

There is a Hokkien phrase.

It means, "Our own kind of people."

And you're not our own kind.

'Cause I'm not rich?

'Cause I didn't go to a British boarding school, or I wasn't born into a wealthy family?

You're a foreigner. American.

And all Americans think about is their own happiness.

Don't you want Nick to be happy?

It's an illusion.

We understand how to build things that last.

Something you know nothing about.

You don't know me.

I know you're not what Nick needs.

Well, he proposed to me yesterday.

He said he'd walk away from his family and from you for good.

Don't worry. I turned him down.

Only a fool folds a winning hand.

There's no winning. You made sure of that.

Because if Nick chose me, he would lose his family.

And if he chose his family, he might spend the rest of his life resenting you.

So you chose for him.

I'm not leaving 'cause I'm scared or because I think I'm not enough.

Because maybe for the first time in my life, I know I am.

I just love Nick so much.

I don't want him to lose his mom again.

So I just wanted you to know that one day, when he marries another lucky girl who is enough for you, and you're playing with your grandkids while the tan huas are blooming and the birds are chirping, that it was because of me.

A poor, raised by a single mother, low class, immigrant nobody.

Hey.

I'm gonna send someone for the rest of my stuff.

But I wanna talk to you about my visitation rights with Cassian.

Stop talking.

What?

Don't worry about packing your things.

You bought this apartment, you keep it. We're leaving.

What do you mean you're leaving?

Where are you gonna go?

I have 14 apartment buildings that I own, so probably one of those.

And you'll see Cassian when it's good for him, not when it's good for you.

Hey!

Look, you know, it's not just my fault that things didn't work out.

You're right. I shouldn't have kept things from you.

Hidden my shoes, turned down jobs, charity work, worrying that it might make you feel lesser than.

But let's be clear.

The problem with our marriage isn't my family's money.

It's that you're a coward. You gave up on us.

But I've just realized, it's not my job to make you feel like a man.

I can't make you something you're not.

Good for you!

Walking away from Nick and his family's fat-ass property portfolio.

You have no one, no net worth, but you have integrity. That's why I respect you.

Thank you for everything.

Bye, Mrs. Chu. Goodbye and thank you.

Sure I can't get you to stay?

You know, my brother P.T., he's still single.

All right.

Rachel!

Rachel! Stay there.

I'm gonna go and look for some extra blankets.

Hello.

Sorry, just one second. Nick, what are you doing here?

I'm flying back to New York with you.

God, don't make this harder than it already is.

I always imagined what me proposing to you would be like.

You know what? I had it all planned out.

Oh!

I'm right behind you. Don't mind me.

I'd bring you to my favorite spot on the island.

There's a hidden trail that I used to go to as a child.

Now there's a cove there that opens up to this beautiful lake.

Um... Sorry, dude.

Give me a second.

When the sun hits the horizon, I'd get down on one knee.

And the rest of the world would fall away.

Because it would just be you...

Because it's just you...

Sorry, I can help you with that.

All right, it's fine. Stay there.

Yay. You, too? Watch your fingers.

Lift it up. Okay. Thank you.

Everybody okay?

Because I just need 30 seconds with this woman.

Okay, thank you.

Oh. Coming through. Sorry.

I know this is a far throw from a hidden paradise.

But wherever you are in the world, that's where I belong.

But I...

Rachel Chu, will you marry me?

And make me the happiest man in this world?

Yes! Yes! Yes! She will marry you!

Yes!

Oh!

I love you. I love you, too.

This is gonna be some flight back to New York.

Well, I was actually thinking about staying one more night.

It's all about you, Nick!

Make babies! Make babies!