Transcripts - Forever Dreaming

Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience.

Hey, isn't that one of the righteous brothers?

Yea, actually Robin colcord flew him in to sing to Rebecca earlier wow, which one is he?

I think that's righteous brother number 2 no. That's bill medley.

Hey, tall, dark, and pipes down to your shorts.

What are you doing back here?

My plane doesn't leave for three hours.

I had nowhere to go.

Would you like a drinking buddy?

You bet!

Hey, hey, hey.

Can we buy you a beer?

Sure.

All right!

Let's see.

Everybody pony up 6 cents.

Hey, bill, did you ever sing with the Beatles?

Do you have your own... wait.

Whoa.

One at a time.

I hope you don't mind these questions, but after all, we're paying for that drink.

No.

I love it.

In fact, this is what it's all about... being with the people, discussing music with fans.

You're knowledgeable and aware, and I dig it.

What was your question?

Oh.

Well, Mr. Medley, how come you changed your name from righteous?

♪ Makin' your way in the world today ♪ takes everything you've got ♪ takin' a break from all your worries ♪ sure would help a lot ♪

♪ wouldn't you like to get away? ♪

♪ Sometimes you ought to go ♪ where everybody knows your name ♪ and they're always glad you came ♪ you want to be where you can see ♪ the troubles are all the same ♪ you want to be where everybody knows your name

♪ you want to go where people know ♪ people are all the same ♪ you want to go where everybody knows your name ♪

Hey, Woody.

Hey Sam is Rebecca here yet?

No she left a message.. I'll be back later, right now I'm on top of the...

Moub?

?

Let me see this.

No Woody, it's not an "m" it's a "w she's gonna be on top of the "woub" let me see this.. There's an "ou" there, cliffie you see?

She's on top of the wa-wa-waoud."

She's on top of the world the expression is "top of the world."

No, no.

Look at it, doc.

Read that.

Well, I stand corrected.

She is indeed "on top of the woulb."

Poor kid.

What do you mean, Sammy?

After you guys left little Wally's last night, she went into the ladies' room to get some burger grease off of her blouse you'll never guess who pulls up Robin colcord with another ther woman.

That figures.

Come on.

No sooner does squire colcord end Rebecca's celebrated four years of celibacy, then he's off baling hay with some other wench the very next night.

The man is absolutely nothing more than a rich, spoiled, narcissistic philanderer.

I hate myself for envying him so.

Well, if Rebecca's still riding high, I guess she doesn't know about Robin's other babe how'd she miss spotting him at little Wally's?

You know that place.

You can't see your hand in front of your face, what with the vapors coming off Wally's food and off of Wally himself.

How'd you handle it, Sammy?

You know me, daddy cool.

If she left the bathroom, she'd see him, so I jumped in.

I think I handled it pretty smoothly.

Fire!

Fire!

Aah!

Aah!

Get out through the window.

You use the door.

Why can't I use the door?

With that greasy blouse, one spark, you'll go up like a Roman candle.

Smart idea.

Ok, good.

Uhh, uhh, uhh.

It's too small!

It's too small!

All right.

Ah, sh**t.

Don't panic.

Uh, uh...

Ok, I got it.

I'll squeeze you through.

Take off your clothes and rub soap all over.

Ok, fine.

Plan "b."

Let's get out of here now!

Put this jacket over your head.

I'll lead you out.

But what about you?

Take off your blouse.

Put it over my head.

Sam!

Quit kidding around!

Careful, flames!

Wow.

Great looks and all that savvy.

Sam, if you had a spigot in your forehead, I'd marry you in a second.

I hope that fire didn't do a lot of damage.

I love little Wally's.

Woody, there was no fire.

I just made that part up.

Well she must have looked like a darn fool with your coat wrapped around her face screaming fire well no, not at little Wally's you did fine work Sammy.

Guys thank you but the more I think about it the more I wonder if did the right thing.

She should know what that guy is up to berfore she gets in too deep, maybe I should tell her take it from a mailman.

People want to k*ll the messenger or at least overturn his cart and kick the mail around the hallway.

I agree there's a lot to be said for discretion.

It's entirely possible Rebecca may grow tired of Robin and thus avoid the heartache.

Then on the other hand, as one who was cuckolded by a lover deeply trusted, the longer led on, the harder the fall.

I'm just not sure that Rebecca can be as strong and forgiving as I was when...

That b*tch Diane dumped me.

You know, Sam, I had this cousin Skeeter who was in the army a bunch of years ago well, he never saw any action, although he did blow off his thumb in a mortar accident.

Big show-off.

Anyway, he was going out with this girl, and she went to the kiwanis dance with this other guy, laird danielson.

I saw them kissing behind the propane tanks.

I was in the same spot you're in now.

What cha' do?

Nothing, I'm waiting to hear what you do I'm gonna tell her there he is, my hero.

He was probably too modest to tell you all, but this man rushed me through a burning building with his coat over my face and then led me out of the fire and I'm telling you the fire was so close I could feel the flames licking my ears it was hot, all right.

Anyway Sam, I just want to t*nk you again for saving my life listen, I probably should have told you this last night sit down, this isn't going to be easy

"nix e Sammy a Robbie a" the what?

Oh, Robin.

My sweet baby.

A budding Rose.

I brought it myself so you wouldn't miss its bloom.

Oh, my god.

This is so cool.

Oh, Robin, I can hardly wait till we're alone together again tonight.

About tonight, I'm terribly sorry.

An emergency board meeting has been called.

How about a late supper afterwards?

The meeting could last through the night.

I could last till the morning.

Let's put that to the test tomorrow.

Ok.

I'll rest up.

Olé.

Ow!

Are you ok?

No.

I'm fine.

I'm just going to go put this in water.

Sam, I want to thank you for your discretion last night, that is if, running along side a screamming woman with a sack over her head can be called discretion that wasn't a sack, it was my jacket really? Please buy one for me, huh?

At any rate I wanted to thank you I'm sure you've been in similar circumstances and know how embarrassing it can be.

It was nice finding an ally in that situation.

Ally, nothing.

I didn't want to see Rebecca hurt.

Nor do I, so I hope you'll keep up your silence if the event should ever repeat itself.

"Emergency board meeting."

You got another date tonight, don't you?

Sadly, um...

Yes.

I don't want to help you, pal.

I'm surprised.

We have the same weakness... beautiful women.

Men like us share a common bond.

We don't share anything together.

Rebecca's my friend.

You got nerve to think I'll help you cheat on her.

So you're taking an ethical stand.

Well let me counter with this one phone call from me and you can have your bar back why do you think that you can always buy anything...

The whole bar?

No down payment?

Cheers will be yours Sam ok, I don't feel very good about this, though.

Yes, well, you can print that on your cocktail napkins.

Well, I'm off for a...

Strenuous board meeting.

I thought I got that Thorn out, but it still feels like it's in there.

Ahh.

Sam, you said you had something important to tell me?

Yeah.

I think I just made a deal to buy back the bar.

That's wonderful!

Isn't that fun?

You get the bar.

I get Robin.

Don't you feel great?

I...

Feel...

Bad...

♪ you lost that lovin feeling ♪ hi welcome to cheers.

We're glad to have you here.

♪ Whoa, that lovin' feeling ♪ hi there.

You look like a couple in love.

This is a place for love does this place for love have a waitress?

We've been waiting twenty minutes oh I can take your order, might I suggets two hot toddies and a walk hand in hand along the Charles to be honest, Susan and I haven't been getting along lately, give us whatever you're having

Sammy, if she doesn't cut out that mushey stuff she's going to lose that lovin' feeling from the neck down.

Oh, come on.

It's not that bad, is it?

Elaine, your break time's over.

[Playing you've lost that lovin' feeling]

I can't believe she's got a harp in here.

Look how great it slices these eggs

♪ whoa, oh, oh, ohh

Elaine, Elaine, sweetheart...

I never thought I'd say this to a woman, please give your fingers a rest would somebody give me a hand?

Yea, be happy to did you know the harp is the grandfather of modern-day guitar?

Apparently, early minstrels were much larger people nevermind, I'll lug it myself well, suit yourself.

Yeah, they, uh, had hands the size of small dogs

Sammy, you got to stop Rebecca.

You got to tell her before this goes any farther.

Yea Sammy, put us out of our misery she's replacing the beer nuts with these little candy hearts that say, "hold me, I'm yours, lovey dovey."

Hey.

"Free beer."

Oh, no, Mr. Peterson.

Fool me once.

Tell her now.

"If it were done when 'tis done, then t'were well it were done quickly."

I'm sorry.

Move it, pal!

I'm not going to say anything.

I think I'm doing the right thing here c'mon guys, what she doesn't know won't hurt her Sam you've proven to be a big disapointment to me oh, c'mon man don't...

I always modeled myself after you.

Not the way you're hung up on your looks... that's kind of shallow.

Not the chasing after women part, because that's silly.

But the other part.

There is no other part.

There's the part of you that's always looking out for your friends.

That's the thing that's made you my hero, and now, leaving miss howe on the hook like that...

I may have to go back to my old hero... st Thomas aquinas I found somebody to sublet my apartment.

Why, you're moving?

I can't expect Robin live in my little hovel.

You two are gonna move in together?

It's the logical next step everything's been going so well.

Man, I love the nineties.

♪ You've lost that...

Hey, you start singing again, it's going to be a very short decade sweetheart listen don't...

Don't... move out of your apartment uh... I got something to tell you what is it?

This is the last thing you want to hear.

I wish I wasn't the one to have to tell you.

Go ahead and tell me.

Robin is seeing other women behind your back.

What?

There was no fire last night, just Robin and some tall, auburn-haired babe with legs up to her eyes.

How can you do this to me?

What?


Just because you're jealous, the first chance you get, you try and submarine Robin.

You need help... real help, not frasier.

Woah...

Listen to me a second.

I'm telling you the truth.

I thought you were my friend.

I am your friend.

Robin was going to buy this bar back for me if I stayed quiet.

Oh, brother!

How low can you sink?

You expect me to believe a story like that about my sweet baby?

Honey...

The guy doesn't have a board meeting.

He's with that woman right now.

Fine, fine.

I'm going to prove you wrong.

I'm going to wait outside that board meeting.

Yes, I am.

He'll come out, I'll see him, we'll smooch, and then we'll laugh about your pitiful lies.

I don't care if she doesn't believe me.

You know, I feel good about myself because I told the truth, when it comes right down to it, I'll be able to live with myself.

Sammy, come here.

Yeah?

What?

You could've had the bar back you jackass!

Surprise, darling!

What's going on?

Oh!

Robin, who is this?

Who am I?

Who are you?

Well, I see introductions are in order.

Christine davi, New York city ballet, Rebecca howe, proprietor of cheers.

Sam was right.

God, why does this always happen to me?

How can somebody as beautiful as I am be such a loser?

Robin, I thought we had something.

You're seeing her, too?

Well, this evening is off to a rollicking start.

Robin, I'm not the kind of person who fools around with just anybody.

You're saying I am?

Ballerina, make like a swan and die.

Robin, I need a one-woman man.

And I am a one-woman man.

I'm just still looking for the one woman.

But I've got it narrowed down to three... you two and a little charge d'affaires in the French consulate.

Well, I don't care who you are.

I have my self-respect.

No one treats Christine davi like this.

I... I...

Christine, uh...

So...

Now I guess it's down to two.

Rebecca, I am lucky to find someone so understanding as you are.

Not so fast, Robin.

I have a little self-respect myself.

You're going to have to choose, Robin, right now.

Is it going to be me or your charge d'affaires?

Well, honestly, I...

Don't know.

Fine.

Then promise me you'll think about it a while.

Hi, Sam.

Hello.

I owe you an apology.

Ah, I'm sorry.

Feeling all right?

Me?

Fine.

Well, did you tell him to take off?

No.

That would be the easy thing for me to do.

He promised he wouldn't see any more women?

No.

That would be the easy thing for him to do.

What are we left with here?

A deeper understanding of our relationship and, uh...

What we as mature adults are going to do to make it work out you bought that?

For your information Robin wants very much to get married.

He does?

Yes he does.. To me or one other woman he narrowed it down. That's a nice touch.

Sam.

Come on.

Something worth having is worth fighting for you sold out I did not sell out I merely entered a fair contest where the payoff would satisfy any woman's wildest dreams.

You really believe that?

I believe every single word.

Oh, boy.

What am I going to do?

I feel so cheap and so used.

Oh, god, Sam.

I can't do this to myself.

I have to break it off with Robin.

It's the right thing to do.

Oh, god, why do I feel so miserable?

It's never the right thing unless you do feel miserable.

I know.

I'm just going to tell him it's over.

I'll just say to him, um...

That's it, sweet baby.

I mean, you know, Robin colcord is not worth me losing my dignity.

Oh, yeah.

Dignity...

Why not?

I've tried everything else in my life.

Rebecca, I knew I'd find you here.

That's fascinating.

Everyone else at the end of the evening goes home.

You people come here.

This is your chance.

You give him hell.

I'm going to make him wish he'd never been born.

Robin...

Mr. Colcord...

Rebecca you were very understanding about that little incident back in my limo, and that kind of understanding should be rewarded.

I'd like you to have this diamond bracelet.

It's not much, though it does come with a security guard.

It's gorgeous.

No.

Robin, you know, I don't love you for your money or your diamonds or the fact that you can buy my friends' bars.

I love you because I think you're very interesting and... I thought you cared about me.

I'm sorry.

I'm ashamed of myself for trying to buy your feelings.

I'm still the same man, and I still care for you.

By that, do you mean you...

Care for me but still want to see other women?

Exactly.

If I'd offered this bracelet to my charge d'affaires, she would've snatched it up in a blur.

I admire your standards.

You know, this definitely puts you in the lead.

Must go.

Would you care to join me?

Did you hear that?

I am winning.

I'm winning...

Listen to me a second you're giving up something very valuable you're going to regret this the rest of your life.

You're right.

I will take that bracelet.