06x21 - Made in America
Posted: 06/28/19 07:16
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(RADIO CLICKS, MUSIC PLAYS)
New York's Classic Rock, Q . .
Good morning. I'm Jim Kerr.
Coming up a little later on the "Q"...
(' S SONG PLAYING)
(JET ENGINE ROARING)
"Half an hour," he says.
It's a f*cking hour and a half already.
He's busy.
Enjoy the music.
(CAR APPROACHES)
(WIND WHISTLING)
I thought you weren't coming.
You don't wanna know.
Actually, I do.
We had intel, a Salafist cell was at Newark Airport...
...boarding somebody onto a to London.
You're right. I don't.
We get this all the time.
Our source was either wrong...
...or it was done to study our response.
Happens all the time?
(SIGHS)
- What's up, my friend?
- My kid is obsessed with this shit.
But we tell him he's making a molehill out of it. Is he right?
(PHONE RINGING)
(SIGHS)
Hey. Probably another hour.
Just leave it out, all right?
I'll heat it up.
Well, then don't leave it out.
(SHOUTS)
What do you want me to say?
(AIRPLANE ROARS)
You got a rough enough job with this terrorism shit.
I'll let you get home.
The reason I called is those two Arabs I turned you on to...
...well, I happened to remember my nephew mentioned a bank...
...where they had an account, a branch.
The Mintner First Merchants Bank.
- You just remembered that?
- Yeah.
Thanks.
I know you got that friend in the Brooklyn office.
Is it possible he knows where Phil Leotardo is?
I want to try to avoid any more of my guys getting hurt.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm just saying, if you heard anything from your pal...
I haven't.
I figured maybe money's sent to the Middle East.
You're overreaching.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Okay.
(MUSIC, ENGINE STOP)
(DISTANT SEAGULLS CRYING)
(WAVES LAPPING)
- See you Thursday.
- Bye.
Where are you going?
I just got here.
I'm really late meeting Patrick in the city. Bye.
Bye-bye.
(SIGHS)
How are you doing?
She smelled that odor too.
(SNIFFS)
Your remodel will fix all that.
Maybe it's toxic.
Maybe we shouldn't be breathing it.
It's not toxic. The owners were, what, years old? It's piss.
I got to get home.
I'm working on it.
I went to see Sil...
- ...and Gab. Oh, my God, Tony.
- Yeah.
Are you being careful?
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
This kind of bothers me.
- Okay. Thanks.
- Who is she gonna tell?
But you should use the back door.
I wouldn't kick her out of bed for purging cookies.
Real funny. We're just friends.
I know. Nice work.
- She's a model.
- She's doing some modeling.
- All right? She's a junior in high school.
- What?
She's quitting modeling anyway.
She's tired of being exploited.
You help your mother take the carpets outside, put them in the sun?
He did.
Uncle Bobby's funeral is finally set for Thursday. And you're gonna be there.
How's that supposed to work?
We're all on Def-Con , living in separate houses...
...and we're gonna stand out in the open?
There's always a large FBI presence.
Unbelievable.
He was different, you know? We forget.
When he was with Blanca.
We commend to Almighty God our brother Robert...
The ceremony just ended.
The Lord bless him and keep him.
The Lord make His face shine upon him...
(PEOPLE CONVERSING QUIETLY)
Every one of these things is lemon chicken, or fish.
- I heard cauliflower's . a pound.
- I'm not gonna have this.
Can you believe that?
Oh, Pop, they got roast pork.
Give me one. Thanks.
- She had won American Idol.
- No.
Jennifer Hudson? Absolutely.
Jason G. was the winner of Italian American Idol.
He could say "f*ck" more times in a sentence than any other contestant.
Uncle Paulie, come sit down.
Yeah, I'll sit with the youth.
I'm young at heart, right?
(VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYING)
- Who are you, dear?
- Tara Zincone. Bobby's niece.
My condolences.
(GROANS)
Oh...
- Did I eat.
- It was good.
In the midst of death, we are in life.
Or is it the other way around?
- I think it's the other way around.
- Either version, you're halfway up the ass.
Pardon my French, sweetheart.
- I've lost two dear friends.
- Sil's hanging on.
I lost Ma last month.
You can take
and give it back to the Indians.
- I'm sorry.
- What are you gonna do?
Life goes on.
We were discussing Dreamgirls.
Did you see it?
You people are f*cked.
You're living in a dream.
You still sit here talking about the f*cking Oscars?
"What rough beast slouches toward Bethlehem to be born?"
Huh?
- "Yeets."
- A.J.
Yeats?
The world. Don't you see it?
Bush let Al Qaeda escape in the mountains.
Then he has us invade some other country.
Let's join up, go k*ll some f*cking t*rrorists.
It's more noble than watching jack-off fantasies on TV...
...of how we're kicking their ass.
It's like, America...
- What about it?
- This is still where people come to make it.
It's a beautiful idea.
And then what do they get? Bling?
And come-ons for shit they don't need and can't afford?
You're all over the place.
I don't know what you're saying.
He's saying the framus intersects with ramistan approximately at the paternoster.
(LAUGHING)
Julius, what do I have to do? What do I have to say to get you out of here?
Give me a chance.
Give me first dibs at this...
...television series thing, or whatever it is.
Let me do the pilot, please.
Julius, my boy, sit down.
Julius, I'm not a hard man.
I'm not a mean man...
Tell you right now, it's light.
...the television industry today is looking for talent. They're looking for quality.
They're preoccupied with talent and quality, and a writer is a major commodity.
This situation ain't all bad. I haven't had a green vegetable in over a week.
We can't go down to the pork store?
Gotta hang here all day doing nothing.
Baciagalup.
(MEWS)
- Who does he belong to?
- He just showed up during the big storm.
Already caught a mouse down the cellar.
A lot of my customers giving to New York.
Power vacuum, they're taking advantage.
Oh.
- The f*ck you come in that way for?
- Sorry.
(TV CONTINUES PLAYING)
We're gonna meet Paulie down at the hospital, visit Sil. You wanna come?
No I got shit I gotta do.
My daughter...
Yesterday it was his gout.
This is New York's famous Little Italy.
It once covered over square blocks...
...but has now been reduced to one row of shops and cafés.
(MAN SINGING ITALIAN ARIA)
(PHONE RINGS)
Hello.
It's me.
- Where are you? Are you close?
- Let's do it over the phone.
(ITALIAN POP SONG PLAYING)
No word yet.
No one knows where our friend is.
It's not that there's no word, it's that there's no progress.
- Nobody's taking this lightly, Phil.
- He should have been done first.
They thought they'd find them at the strip joint.
- I've heard this already.
- I know you're disappointed, Phil.
- I can hear it in everything you say.
- f*cking-A I'm disappointed.
(MAN SINGING ITALIAN ARIA)
I'm thinking.
- I don't know. Maybe...
- What?
Are you talking about reaching out?
We can't go back.
Are you out of your f*cking mind?
- No, I know.
- Then what did you say it for?
I didn't, Phil. You did.
Listen, kid, when this is over we're gonna sit down...
- ...me and you.
- I hope so.
I can't hear you.
You're breaking up.
I said I hope...
- (PEOPLE SPEAKING CHINESE)
- (WIND WHISTLING)
(SIGHS)
Ferrara's.
(GROANS)
- Want a pastry?
- I need to watch my weight.
I need to snag another husband.
(CHUCKLES)
You're the only one who realized that's a joke.
You had to grow up in our family.
That dig you made about me giving guys head under the boardwalk?
He took it so seriously, Bobby.
(CHUCKLES)
Anyway...
...thank you for being here.
So, what happens now?
Well, Robert's already said he wants to go live with his aunt.
- What about Sophia?
- Nica is my daughter.
She's very much into her older sister.
Sophia thinks she's getting out of this house.
Is that a joke?
Because that one even got by me.
You know, five, six years ago when Johnny Sack bought this house...
...this was all cornfields here.
I'd like to give it a shot with Bobby's kids.
Bobby would want it.
I put in a lot of effort with Sophia, baking together.
I think we actually have a bond.
I've had therapy. I'm a good mother.
I put Ma and all her warped shit behind me.
- Good.
- Not that I get any thanks for it.
You know you could form a new nuclear family.
You bring Harpo down here.
It's a big place.
Harpo changed his name.
He's Hal now.
(SIGHS)
Janice...
Well, you need anything, you know I'm minutes away.
(PHONE RINGING)
- Yeah.
- Multiple calls...
...traced back to a payphone in Oyster Bay, Long Island.
What?
- Where's the phone at exactly?
- Gas station, most likely.
- Gas station?
- He's lammed out.
He may not be able to put his hands on a clean cell phone.
- All right, listen, thanks. Really.
- All right.
(ZIPS)
(FOLK ROCK PLAYING)
You kept telling me this guy is good.
It's amazing it was written so long ago.
It's, like, about right now.
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
- This could be a mistake.
- I know.
- We're good friends.
- Yeah.
Oh, wait.
(CHUCKLES)
- Holy shit.
- Oh, my God.
Go!
(SONG CONTINUES)
Oh, Christ. I parked in leaves!
(SONG DISTORTS, STOPS)
Wow.
At least my gas t*nk was practically empty.
How many f*cking times have I told you:
"It's an SUV, watch where you park off-road"?
The catalytic converter and the dry vegetation!
I didn't see the leaves.
You can grill f*cking steaks on that converter! I told you!
If there was children playing in those leaves, you'd have run them over?
- I guess.
- Oh, you're gonna get cute now?
- I was just answering her question.
- Dad, he wasn't being funny.
You mind your own g*dd*mn business unless you want some of this too.
- Mr. Fat Mouth.
- What did you say?
What was going through your mind?
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
What do you want from me?
I am depressed.
I'm supposed to go looking for piles of leaves?
Wanna hear depressed?
Thirty thousand dollars for that car.
- Isn't that what you have insurance for?
- Excuse me? You're not getting another one.
Actually, that's good.
- It'll force me to take the bus.
- What?
We have to break our dependence on foreign oil.
(LINE RINGING)
(RECEIVER CLICKS)
- Cafe Napoli.
- George, it's Anthony.
Your f*cking ears must be ringing.
I just left your friend, the son, crying the blues...
...over the situation between you and that outfit over there.
That's why I'm calling.
I need you to reach out to the little guy.
He's not happy with Phil neither.
I know.
You're not part of that family.
You're basically retired.
Everybody trusts you.
What I'm thinking, you'd supply a neutral location, guarantee everybody's safety.
I could do that.
(CHAIN RATTLING)
- Hi, George.
- Hey.
They're here.
They've been patted down too.
Anybody want a water?
- No.
- No.
We started it? We got a dead goomar in Queens and her old Ukrainian father.
And I'm not even gonna blame Phil. John Sacramoni, my friend...
...I'm sorry to say, was an insecure guy.
He created a constant tension within his own family which spilled over.
Go ahead, Carmine. George was good enough to broker this meeting for us.
You're just gonna sit there?
It didn't have to be this way.
We agree. It's gone too far.
Phil, I don't know. He's changed.
You got my word, we'll back off.
My price is you help us get a location on Phil.
I can't go there.
But you do what you gotta do.
One more thing.
You hit my brother-in-law.
- So?
- This is my sister we're talking about.
She's gotta see something out of this.
We'll come up with a number.
Look at all this mail.
(' S SONG PLAYING)
Anybody need some barber's scissors?
- Ton?
- Put some next to my coat.
(MEWS)
He was at the safe house.
We brought him over.
Get him the f*ck out.
These are snakes with fur.
The old Italians will tell you, you can't even put them around a baby.
They suck the breath right out.
Well, you're the only baby here, so we're ahead.
You wanna wear his f*cking pelt on your head?
- I said get rid of him.
- Leave him.
He's a good guy.
No payphone.
(NICA BABBLING)
...daughter Gloria on the TV series...
Look, there's a double-breasted robin.
It doesn't cost anything to be polite.
That goes two ways, ma'am.
TV HOST:
...series "Maude"?
- Arthur?
- Yes, Bea Arthur.
- Beatrice Arthur.
- (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Put an X in the center box. $ to the pot...
And we shuffle the categories around again.
Pat, how are you?
- Hi.
- Livia.
I'm Janice, her daughter.
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
What did he say? I can't...
Uncle Jun, I wanna show you something.
Bobby and my baby.
- Janice.
- No, I'm Janice.
That's my little girl.
Her name is Domenica.
Sweet as she looks, she left my stove on on purpose...
...put the flame out with a wet dishrag.
I caught her.
(TV SHOW CONTINUES)
Uncle Jun, I'm afraid I have bad news.
Bobby's dead.
The Ambassador Hotel.
Your Bobby, Bobby Baccalieri.
I'm a widow now.
(DISTANT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
She was inveigling him.
She's after his money.
You're not even curious about him?
He can f*cking rot.
When you were an inpatient, you said you might try and get a job.
I can't now because of the car.
I need to get a bus schedule.
The thing is, ever since it blew up...
...I feel, like, cleansed or something.
Because it was a polluter?
No.
I mean, just watching it go, that huge fireball...
...you have no idea. The heat...
My seat melted.
I had been in it just a few seconds before.
Carlo.
Carlo.
(RINGS MELODICALLY)
- Yeah.
- T.
I had a meeting down here with Carlo this morning.
We were supposed to go see Butch and them on a couple of items.
Carlo didn't show.
And he don't answer his phones neither.
I'll call you back on the prepay.
(PHONE RINGS)
Yeah.
- What are you thinking?
- That maybe we were had.
That this f*cking Butch has taken out another ranking guy.
T?
(DOOR CLOSES)
What if he flipped?
- Who? Carlo?
- Well?
- You there?
- His kid, the imbecile...
- Jason?
- He got picked up yesterday, Patsy told me.
For selling Ecstasy.
(PHONE BEEPS)
Med, they're gonna be here in... Miss Hunter! Long time no see.
How are you, Mrs. Soprano?
Oh, my God, when was it?
It was right around when you quit college.
You're being kind. I was kicked out for partying and drunk driving.
Well, I didn't want to say, but, well, that was always you.
- So, what are you up to now?
- I'm in my second year of med school.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
I completed undergrad at Purchase, got my act together.
Yes. They're gonna be here, Meadow.
A man took his horse to a vet and the vet says to him:
- "Why do you have a long face?"
- "A horse goes." There's no man.
Right, right. A horse goes to a vet.
And the vet looks at his face and he says, "My friend..."
A horse goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "Why the long face?"
Can't tell jokes.
- More pinot grig, Patrick?
- No, thanks.
Speaking of jokers, where's that other son of yours today?
- I didn't think he was invited.
- I just thought with all the wedding talk...
No, no, really, that pal of his, the other Jason...
...I heard he ran
into some trouble.
- Carlo's Jason.
- He's a mess.
All right.
Well, he's got no shortage of lawyers here.
(ALL LAUGH)
Ton, Patsy needs a refill.
- No, Ton, I'll...
- Sit down.
Of course, this one here would only take the case for free.
That's why we want her at Grubman, Grubman & Curcio.
Actually, Med and I have had some conversations...
...and we may still snag her at the firm...
- ...when she's done with law school.
- No kidding?
We went out to dinner with Steven Grubman and the subject came up.
Steven was impressed with her work at the Poverty Law Center.
He even got into starting salaries.
He was talking .
Jesus. Sweetheart, that's fantastic, huh?
- He had had too much Gevrey.
- Don't devalue yourself.
We've got a really interesting case right now. We're defending James Trefoglio...
...the county commissioner, on those corruption charges.
- Is that your case, honey?
- Bid rigging. It's got bagmen, whores.
It's fascinating.
- (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
- (GROWLING)
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, he does that.
Sometimes most of the day, just stares at Chrissy's picture.
- The f*ck?
- You know, they're funny that way.
I had an aunt, her cat would only sit...
...at the exact corners of the table, staring at her...
...or at the intersection of two walls, staring in.
This f*cking animal is history, today!
- Pick him up.
- You pick him up.
(DOOR OPENS)
T, you see this shit?
Does it all the time, he says.
- Oh, yeah?
- Look at him staring at that dead kid.
Gives me the f*cking creeps.
Walden, give us some privacy.
Yeah.
Walden. The f*ck kind of name is that for an Italian?
I was named after Mr. Bobby Darin. Walden Robert Cassotto.
Heh.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
The Cifaretto crew, it's a f*cking Chinese fire drill over there...
- ...especially now that Carlo is absent.
- I know.
I want you to skipper that thing.
- Really?
- f*cking thing is one big ATM machine.
All our construction with New York folds right into your kick.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ, I thought you'd be pleased. I didn't hand you the diagnosis of the clap.
With due respect, I'd like to just mull it a little.
I'm no spring chicken no more. I don't want to have me dying on you...
- ...leaving you worse off than before.
- You with the dead thing.
You got the arms and upper body of a -year-old.
I gotta work at that.
And I had the prostate.
All right, sure.
Go ahead.
I'm a little miffled, but, yeah, sit with it.
Thanks, T. This means everything, your faith in me.
In the line of duty.
But we're short-handed.
Anyway, mid- s, probably used the payphones.
We don't have payphones. Just a couple of stations have them anymore.
(WINDOW ROLLS DOWN)
(HUMS SPORTS THEME)
Get in.
(HUMS THE TUNE)
Activity. That's good.
- I can already see a difference.
- Yeah.
Gonna get back at it myself.
Listen...
I'm gonna join the Army.
What?
Did you sign any shit?
No, but this week I will.
- I gotta deal with Rhiannon first.
- Rhiannon? What about your mother?
- Her too.
- Are you nuts?
- You wanna get sent to Iraq?
- Afghanistan.
- The Army's probably good for my career.
- You don't have a career.
Right. My ultimate goal is to qualify for helicopter pilot training.
Afterwards go to work for Trump or somebody, be their personal pilot.
(STAMMERS)
I'm not even gonna tell your mother about this.
And don't you do nothing until we've had another chance to talk.
- You hear me?
- Yes.
He's gonna join the f*cking Army.
I gotta be frank...
...you people got him out of his room, great...
- ...so he can be cannon fodder?
- I wasn't aware of this latest plan.
(DOOR OPENS)
Sorry.
I should have gone before we left the house.
Still on the Army thing.
On the other hand, I'm thinking he could benefit...
...from the training, the discipline.
Maybe the Army'd be great for him if there wasn't a w*r going on.
Oh, I didn't tell you, he spent $ on a set of CDs that teach Arabic.
Jesus Christ, come on. "Shish kebab."
What else do you need to know?
He used to just veg in front of that TV.
He says he wants to get past the hate, focus it only on the t*rrorists.
- I really can't reveal much more.
- Right. Even though we're paying.
- This whole therapy thing, I gotta tell you...
- What?
My mother was a borderline personality.
So what?
- I don't know if you knew that.
- No.
- I did not have a very happy childhood.
- No?
- There was little love in the house.
- He's mentioned your mother very briefly.
A very difficult woman...
...undermining.
I tried to place her in a retirement community for her own good...
...she turned on me completely.
You see, I never could please my mother.
To what do I owe this chance to go sake bombing?
We used to have dinner all the time.
You're gonna get married and my chances are flying by me.
- Yeah.
- So, your brother, our little soldier boy...
...what do you think is wrong with that cucuzza?
The world is a sad, f*cked-up place.
If there's so much suffering in the world, why did you go off the pediatrician bit?
- We talked about that.
- You wanted to be a lawyer for black people.
Oh, that's all I said? Really?
What I said was, the state can crush the individual.
- New Jersey?
- The government.
Specifically, the federal government.
And what about little babies in the face of meningitis?
You know what really turned me?
Seeing the way Italians are treated.
It's like Mom says. And if we can have our rights trampled like that...
...imagine what it's like for recent arrivals.
- Well...
- If I hadn't seen you...
...dragged away all those times by the FBI...
...then I'd probably be a boring suburban doctor.
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
Bye-bye.
Wave "bye-bye, Grandpa."
- Bye-bye, Pop-pop.
- Say "Bye-bye."
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
(COOING)
I gotta make a phone call.
I'll meet you at the drugstore.
Tell the g*dd*mn pharmacist to call Dr. Iaconis.
I should get a -day supply of the Plavix.
Phil! Phil!
Oh, my God!
Phil!
Oh, my God!
Help! Help me!
My God! Oh, my God!
My babies! Somebody help!
Help me! The babies!
- Somebody help me!
- Okay, okay.
Help me, please!
Oh, God, they're locked in there!
- (HEAD SQUISHES, POPS)
- (PATTY WAILS)
- Oh!
- Oh, shit!
(RETCHES)
(SPEAKING ARABIC)
- Seen metro news?
- No.
Your old beat.
Phil Leotardo got popped.
Damn.
We're gonna win this thing.
Okay.
As your parents we don't feel joining the Army is in your best interest.
This country is in a crisis.
How can one soldier stop it?
When my enlistment's up, I could join the CIA or something.
And with a military background I'd have a leg up.
And as an Arabic speaker, I'd be really useful.
I don't understand. You're gonna ask the Donald for time off...
...from your pilot job to go on CIA missions?
- Everything's a joke to you.
- I'm not having a good time.
Did you or did you not want me to go to military school?
But I started to cry.
At least you'd have come out an officer.
Even then I was opposed to it.
I hate this idea.
I'm applying for Officer's Candidate School.
I want to be a liaison officer with the local population anyway.
Officer's Candidate School?
You have terrible grades.
You flunked out of college.
Here we go.
That's all this is about, right?
No, Anthony, that's not what this is about.
You don't want to go to college, fine, but don't get your legs blown off.
Always with the drama.
So, what does your girlfriend say, the fashion model?
- She doesn't think I should go either.
- Well?
Not that long ago you talked about owning a club.
Right. You had a problem with that too.
A lot of your friends are in film school, you say...
...especially the ones you used to go to the clubs with.
Uh...
So I got this screenplay from Danny Baldwin.
We met at your cousin's movie.
Danny hoped I'd set him up with some financing, but I never read it.
Well, you did now.
Yeah, I did now and long story short...
...it's about a private detective that gets sucked into the Internet...
...through his data port. And he's gotta solve...
...some murders
and some virtual prostitutes.
I read it. It's scary.
Point is, I talked to Little Carmine and he's interested...
- ...in developing it through his company.
- He does porn.
He did Cleaver.
He's branching out.
You would work for his producer, Inge.
You would be... what is the word... development executive on this project.
Really?
What's this gotta do with clubs?
Hollywood and gossip columns, the nightspots.
And you get some real-world experience under your belt...
...you come see me and we will talk about me investing in a club.
Run that past Rahoony, see what she says.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Somebody's giving grand jury testimony on something.
- So Carlo has flipped.
- We don't know.
And subpoenas are flying.
My hunch...
... to percent chance
you'll be indicted.
That f*cking g*n charge.
I get sick when I think of it.
Plus interstate fraud and if Carlo starts talking, homicide.
Give me the f*cking thing.
Not like we haven't envisioned this day.
- No, no, it's not.
- Look, trials are there to be won.
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...without the sticky, smelly mess in just three seconds.
Grate cheese in just four seconds.
Then screw on the handy shaker top and sprinkle onto pasta or pizza.
Or turn ice, coffee, milk and chocolate syrup...
...into a fancy frozen coffee drink in just...
(TV CHATTERING)
(SHRIEKING)
Oh, my gosh,
I won, I won, I won, I won!
(TV CONTINUES CHATTERING)
(SIGHS)
So?
With all due respect, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart...
- ...I'm gonna pass.
- I don't f*cking believe this.
- Why?
- Every guy who ran that crew...
- ...died prematurely.
- Come on.
I beat cancer once. You've got no idea what that does to you.
- Yeah, I know, but Jesus...
- Richie Aprile, Ralphie M.I.A., Vito...
...and who knows what the f*ck with Carlo, Gigi.
Gigi died taking a shit.
Doesn't mean it's not part of an overall pattern.
Paulie, are you gonna deny yourself life-changing money...
...a package to leave your niece who has M.S?
It's like your bullshit with the cat.
The f*cking animal catches mice for us, but you'd drown it.
- I would.
- He's not looking at Christopher.
A rat died in the wall back there or some shit.
I moved the picture. The f*cking thing came to the new spot and stared!
It's the abstract shapes or something.
Tell you this...
...since he's dead...
...my gambling luck's done a .
Oh, okay. It's fine for you to believe that shit...
...but I can't worry about a jinx?
Ton, I never told this to another living soul, but...
- Yeah?
- One time at Da Bing...
...I was alone to meet Eddy Lind.
I saw the Virgin Mary.
Why didn't you say something?
f*ck strippers, we could've had a shrine, sold holy water in gallon jugs.
Could've made billions.
I tell you something deep in my heart and you laugh it off?
I'm not saying there's nothing out there, Paulie, but to not live your life?
What the f*ck are you gonna do?
You don't want the job, you don't want the job.
I can put Patsy in there.
He's gonna be part of my family now.
It'd be good.
Prick.
You always know what to say to me, don't you?
No, I'm serious.
I live but to serve you, my liege.
Well, they had to get it for me.
There's no real public transport out here.
But I said no more SUV.
(CAR ALARM CHIRPS)
- (ENGINE REVS LOUDLY)
- (UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)
Well, that's the cool part.
Twenty-three highway. It's not so bad.
(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)
Hey.
(LAUGHING)
Hey.
Oh, listen, we're not eating at home tonight.
- I thought we'd go to Holsten's.
- You said we'd have manicotti.
I got meetings with carpenters.
(UPBEAT SONG CONTINUES)
(BIRD CHIRPING)
Holsten's is the consensus.
I gotta see some people.
I'll meet you there.
- Carter?
- That's correct.
And you win $ .
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Your spin, Marcia.
(RATTLING)
- Joker, Africa and Quotations.
- Sir.
- I'll take Quotations for , please.
- Sir, sir, excuse me.
"All I know is just what I read..." where?
- "In the papers."
- That's right. You have $ .
- Your spin, Ron.
- Okay, thank you, Jack.
Law Enforcement, Quotations and a Joker.
Let's take Quotations for , Jack.
(GAME SHOW CONTINUES)
- Hello.
- What, you don't recognize me?
We used to play catch.
You don't remember that you shot me?
(BIRDS TWITTERING)
Enough with the f*cking birds.
I'm Anthony, Johnny's son.
f*ck you want, a boutonniere?
All right, listen to me. Uncle Pat came to see me about Janice, about your money.
People keep asking me.
I don't know.
There's a man from another galaxy that came here.
That's your accountant.
I'm confused!
Any money should go to Bobby Baccala's kids.
Now Janice may not do that, but Bobby was with us.
He's a made guy.
Wouldn't be right.
Me, I never had kids.
You remember where your stash is, you let Uncle Pat know.
Me as the head of the family...
...I'll hold on to it as a guardian, for Bobby's kids.
- You remember Bobby?
- Sure.
You don't know who I am, do you?
Remember Johnny?
Johnny boy, your kid brother?
(SIGHS)
"This thing of ours."
I was involved with that?
You and my dad.
You two ran North Jersey.
- We did?
- Yeah.
Hmm.
Well, that's nice.
- (POP SONG PLAYING)
- (PEOPLE CONVERSING, LAUGHING)
(SONG PLAYING)
(SONG CONTINUES)
- Hey.
- Hey.
- What looks good tonight?
- I don't know.
(SNIFFS)
- Where's cucuzza?
- He just called. He's on his way.
Med's coming separately.
She had to go to the doctor.
Switch birth control.
Did you talk to Mink again?
It's Carlo. He's gonna testify.
Onion rings.
Best in the state as far as I'm concerned.
Shit.
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
How was work today?
All I do is get coffee and place endless phone calls.
You may not realize it but you're making contacts.
It's an entry-level job. So buck up.
- Right, focus on the good times.
- Don't be sarcastic.
Isn't that what you said one time? "Try to remember the times that were good"?
- I did?
- Yeah.
Well, it's true, I guess.
I went ahead and ordered some for the table.
(RADIO CLICKS, MUSIC PLAYS)
New York's Classic Rock, Q . .
Good morning. I'm Jim Kerr.
Coming up a little later on the "Q"...
(' S SONG PLAYING)
(JET ENGINE ROARING)
"Half an hour," he says.
It's a f*cking hour and a half already.
He's busy.
Enjoy the music.
(CAR APPROACHES)
(WIND WHISTLING)
I thought you weren't coming.
You don't wanna know.
Actually, I do.
We had intel, a Salafist cell was at Newark Airport...
...boarding somebody onto a to London.
You're right. I don't.
We get this all the time.
Our source was either wrong...
...or it was done to study our response.
Happens all the time?
(SIGHS)
- What's up, my friend?
- My kid is obsessed with this shit.
But we tell him he's making a molehill out of it. Is he right?
(PHONE RINGING)
(SIGHS)
Hey. Probably another hour.
Just leave it out, all right?
I'll heat it up.
Well, then don't leave it out.
(SHOUTS)
What do you want me to say?
(AIRPLANE ROARS)
You got a rough enough job with this terrorism shit.
I'll let you get home.
The reason I called is those two Arabs I turned you on to...
...well, I happened to remember my nephew mentioned a bank...
...where they had an account, a branch.
The Mintner First Merchants Bank.
- You just remembered that?
- Yeah.
Thanks.
I know you got that friend in the Brooklyn office.
Is it possible he knows where Phil Leotardo is?
I want to try to avoid any more of my guys getting hurt.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm just saying, if you heard anything from your pal...
I haven't.
I figured maybe money's sent to the Middle East.
You're overreaching.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Okay.
(MUSIC, ENGINE STOP)
(DISTANT SEAGULLS CRYING)
(WAVES LAPPING)
- See you Thursday.
- Bye.
Where are you going?
I just got here.
I'm really late meeting Patrick in the city. Bye.
Bye-bye.
(SIGHS)
How are you doing?
She smelled that odor too.
(SNIFFS)
Your remodel will fix all that.
Maybe it's toxic.
Maybe we shouldn't be breathing it.
It's not toxic. The owners were, what, years old? It's piss.
I got to get home.
I'm working on it.
I went to see Sil...
- ...and Gab. Oh, my God, Tony.
- Yeah.
Are you being careful?
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
This kind of bothers me.
- Okay. Thanks.
- Who is she gonna tell?
But you should use the back door.
I wouldn't kick her out of bed for purging cookies.
Real funny. We're just friends.
I know. Nice work.
- She's a model.
- She's doing some modeling.
- All right? She's a junior in high school.
- What?
She's quitting modeling anyway.
She's tired of being exploited.
You help your mother take the carpets outside, put them in the sun?
He did.
Uncle Bobby's funeral is finally set for Thursday. And you're gonna be there.
How's that supposed to work?
We're all on Def-Con , living in separate houses...
...and we're gonna stand out in the open?
There's always a large FBI presence.
Unbelievable.
He was different, you know? We forget.
When he was with Blanca.
We commend to Almighty God our brother Robert...
The ceremony just ended.
The Lord bless him and keep him.
The Lord make His face shine upon him...
(PEOPLE CONVERSING QUIETLY)
Every one of these things is lemon chicken, or fish.
- I heard cauliflower's . a pound.
- I'm not gonna have this.
Can you believe that?
Oh, Pop, they got roast pork.
Give me one. Thanks.
- She had won American Idol.
- No.
Jennifer Hudson? Absolutely.
Jason G. was the winner of Italian American Idol.
He could say "f*ck" more times in a sentence than any other contestant.
Uncle Paulie, come sit down.
Yeah, I'll sit with the youth.
I'm young at heart, right?
(VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYING)
- Who are you, dear?
- Tara Zincone. Bobby's niece.
My condolences.
(GROANS)
Oh...
- Did I eat.
- It was good.
In the midst of death, we are in life.
Or is it the other way around?
- I think it's the other way around.
- Either version, you're halfway up the ass.
Pardon my French, sweetheart.
- I've lost two dear friends.
- Sil's hanging on.
I lost Ma last month.
You can take
and give it back to the Indians.
- I'm sorry.
- What are you gonna do?
Life goes on.
We were discussing Dreamgirls.
Did you see it?
You people are f*cked.
You're living in a dream.
You still sit here talking about the f*cking Oscars?
"What rough beast slouches toward Bethlehem to be born?"
Huh?
- "Yeets."
- A.J.
Yeats?
The world. Don't you see it?
Bush let Al Qaeda escape in the mountains.
Then he has us invade some other country.
Let's join up, go k*ll some f*cking t*rrorists.
It's more noble than watching jack-off fantasies on TV...
...of how we're kicking their ass.
It's like, America...
- What about it?
- This is still where people come to make it.
It's a beautiful idea.
And then what do they get? Bling?
And come-ons for shit they don't need and can't afford?
You're all over the place.
I don't know what you're saying.
He's saying the framus intersects with ramistan approximately at the paternoster.
(LAUGHING)
Julius, what do I have to do? What do I have to say to get you out of here?
Give me a chance.
Give me first dibs at this...
...television series thing, or whatever it is.
Let me do the pilot, please.
Julius, my boy, sit down.
Julius, I'm not a hard man.
I'm not a mean man...
Tell you right now, it's light.
...the television industry today is looking for talent. They're looking for quality.
They're preoccupied with talent and quality, and a writer is a major commodity.
This situation ain't all bad. I haven't had a green vegetable in over a week.
We can't go down to the pork store?
Gotta hang here all day doing nothing.
Baciagalup.
(MEWS)
- Who does he belong to?
- He just showed up during the big storm.
Already caught a mouse down the cellar.
A lot of my customers giving to New York.
Power vacuum, they're taking advantage.
Oh.
- The f*ck you come in that way for?
- Sorry.
(TV CONTINUES PLAYING)
We're gonna meet Paulie down at the hospital, visit Sil. You wanna come?
No I got shit I gotta do.
My daughter...
Yesterday it was his gout.
This is New York's famous Little Italy.
It once covered over square blocks...
...but has now been reduced to one row of shops and cafés.
(MAN SINGING ITALIAN ARIA)
(PHONE RINGS)
Hello.
It's me.
- Where are you? Are you close?
- Let's do it over the phone.
(ITALIAN POP SONG PLAYING)
No word yet.
No one knows where our friend is.
It's not that there's no word, it's that there's no progress.
- Nobody's taking this lightly, Phil.
- He should have been done first.
They thought they'd find them at the strip joint.
- I've heard this already.
- I know you're disappointed, Phil.
- I can hear it in everything you say.
- f*cking-A I'm disappointed.
(MAN SINGING ITALIAN ARIA)
I'm thinking.
- I don't know. Maybe...
- What?
Are you talking about reaching out?
We can't go back.
Are you out of your f*cking mind?
- No, I know.
- Then what did you say it for?
I didn't, Phil. You did.
Listen, kid, when this is over we're gonna sit down...
- ...me and you.
- I hope so.
I can't hear you.
You're breaking up.
I said I hope...
- (PEOPLE SPEAKING CHINESE)
- (WIND WHISTLING)
(SIGHS)
Ferrara's.
(GROANS)
- Want a pastry?
- I need to watch my weight.
I need to snag another husband.
(CHUCKLES)
You're the only one who realized that's a joke.
You had to grow up in our family.
That dig you made about me giving guys head under the boardwalk?
He took it so seriously, Bobby.
(CHUCKLES)
Anyway...
...thank you for being here.
So, what happens now?
Well, Robert's already said he wants to go live with his aunt.
- What about Sophia?
- Nica is my daughter.
She's very much into her older sister.
Sophia thinks she's getting out of this house.
Is that a joke?
Because that one even got by me.
You know, five, six years ago when Johnny Sack bought this house...
...this was all cornfields here.
I'd like to give it a shot with Bobby's kids.
Bobby would want it.
I put in a lot of effort with Sophia, baking together.
I think we actually have a bond.
I've had therapy. I'm a good mother.
I put Ma and all her warped shit behind me.
- Good.
- Not that I get any thanks for it.
You know you could form a new nuclear family.
You bring Harpo down here.
It's a big place.
Harpo changed his name.
He's Hal now.
(SIGHS)
Janice...
Well, you need anything, you know I'm minutes away.
(PHONE RINGING)
- Yeah.
- Multiple calls...
...traced back to a payphone in Oyster Bay, Long Island.
What?
- Where's the phone at exactly?
- Gas station, most likely.
- Gas station?
- He's lammed out.
He may not be able to put his hands on a clean cell phone.
- All right, listen, thanks. Really.
- All right.
(ZIPS)
(FOLK ROCK PLAYING)
You kept telling me this guy is good.
It's amazing it was written so long ago.
It's, like, about right now.
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
- This could be a mistake.
- I know.
- We're good friends.
- Yeah.
Oh, wait.
(CHUCKLES)
- Holy shit.
- Oh, my God.
Go!
(SONG CONTINUES)
Oh, Christ. I parked in leaves!
(SONG DISTORTS, STOPS)
Wow.
At least my gas t*nk was practically empty.
How many f*cking times have I told you:
"It's an SUV, watch where you park off-road"?
The catalytic converter and the dry vegetation!
I didn't see the leaves.
You can grill f*cking steaks on that converter! I told you!
If there was children playing in those leaves, you'd have run them over?
- I guess.
- Oh, you're gonna get cute now?
- I was just answering her question.
- Dad, he wasn't being funny.
You mind your own g*dd*mn business unless you want some of this too.
- Mr. Fat Mouth.
- What did you say?
What was going through your mind?
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
What do you want from me?
I am depressed.
I'm supposed to go looking for piles of leaves?
Wanna hear depressed?
Thirty thousand dollars for that car.
- Isn't that what you have insurance for?
- Excuse me? You're not getting another one.
Actually, that's good.
- It'll force me to take the bus.
- What?
We have to break our dependence on foreign oil.
(LINE RINGING)
(RECEIVER CLICKS)
- Cafe Napoli.
- George, it's Anthony.
Your f*cking ears must be ringing.
I just left your friend, the son, crying the blues...
...over the situation between you and that outfit over there.
That's why I'm calling.
I need you to reach out to the little guy.
He's not happy with Phil neither.
I know.
You're not part of that family.
You're basically retired.
Everybody trusts you.
What I'm thinking, you'd supply a neutral location, guarantee everybody's safety.
I could do that.
(CHAIN RATTLING)
- Hi, George.
- Hey.
They're here.
They've been patted down too.
Anybody want a water?
- No.
- No.
We started it? We got a dead goomar in Queens and her old Ukrainian father.
And I'm not even gonna blame Phil. John Sacramoni, my friend...
...I'm sorry to say, was an insecure guy.
He created a constant tension within his own family which spilled over.
Go ahead, Carmine. George was good enough to broker this meeting for us.
You're just gonna sit there?
It didn't have to be this way.
We agree. It's gone too far.
Phil, I don't know. He's changed.
You got my word, we'll back off.
My price is you help us get a location on Phil.
I can't go there.
But you do what you gotta do.
One more thing.
You hit my brother-in-law.
- So?
- This is my sister we're talking about.
She's gotta see something out of this.
We'll come up with a number.
Look at all this mail.
(' S SONG PLAYING)
Anybody need some barber's scissors?
- Ton?
- Put some next to my coat.
(MEWS)
He was at the safe house.
We brought him over.
Get him the f*ck out.
These are snakes with fur.
The old Italians will tell you, you can't even put them around a baby.
They suck the breath right out.
Well, you're the only baby here, so we're ahead.
You wanna wear his f*cking pelt on your head?
- I said get rid of him.
- Leave him.
He's a good guy.
No payphone.
(NICA BABBLING)
...daughter Gloria on the TV series...
Look, there's a double-breasted robin.
It doesn't cost anything to be polite.
That goes two ways, ma'am.
TV HOST:
...series "Maude"?
- Arthur?
- Yes, Bea Arthur.
- Beatrice Arthur.
- (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Put an X in the center box. $ to the pot...
And we shuffle the categories around again.
Pat, how are you?
- Hi.
- Livia.
I'm Janice, her daughter.
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
What did he say? I can't...
Uncle Jun, I wanna show you something.
Bobby and my baby.
- Janice.
- No, I'm Janice.
That's my little girl.
Her name is Domenica.
Sweet as she looks, she left my stove on on purpose...
...put the flame out with a wet dishrag.
I caught her.
(TV SHOW CONTINUES)
Uncle Jun, I'm afraid I have bad news.
Bobby's dead.
The Ambassador Hotel.
Your Bobby, Bobby Baccalieri.
I'm a widow now.
(DISTANT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
She was inveigling him.
She's after his money.
You're not even curious about him?
He can f*cking rot.
When you were an inpatient, you said you might try and get a job.
I can't now because of the car.
I need to get a bus schedule.
The thing is, ever since it blew up...
...I feel, like, cleansed or something.
Because it was a polluter?
No.
I mean, just watching it go, that huge fireball...
...you have no idea. The heat...
My seat melted.
I had been in it just a few seconds before.
Carlo.
Carlo.
(RINGS MELODICALLY)
- Yeah.
- T.
I had a meeting down here with Carlo this morning.
We were supposed to go see Butch and them on a couple of items.
Carlo didn't show.
And he don't answer his phones neither.
I'll call you back on the prepay.
(PHONE RINGS)
Yeah.
- What are you thinking?
- That maybe we were had.
That this f*cking Butch has taken out another ranking guy.
T?
(DOOR CLOSES)
What if he flipped?
- Who? Carlo?
- Well?
- You there?
- His kid, the imbecile...
- Jason?
- He got picked up yesterday, Patsy told me.
For selling Ecstasy.
(PHONE BEEPS)
Med, they're gonna be here in... Miss Hunter! Long time no see.
How are you, Mrs. Soprano?
Oh, my God, when was it?
It was right around when you quit college.
You're being kind. I was kicked out for partying and drunk driving.
Well, I didn't want to say, but, well, that was always you.
- So, what are you up to now?
- I'm in my second year of med school.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
I completed undergrad at Purchase, got my act together.
Yes. They're gonna be here, Meadow.
A man took his horse to a vet and the vet says to him:
- "Why do you have a long face?"
- "A horse goes." There's no man.
Right, right. A horse goes to a vet.
And the vet looks at his face and he says, "My friend..."
A horse goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "Why the long face?"
Can't tell jokes.
- More pinot grig, Patrick?
- No, thanks.
Speaking of jokers, where's that other son of yours today?
- I didn't think he was invited.
- I just thought with all the wedding talk...
No, no, really, that pal of his, the other Jason...
...I heard he ran
into some trouble.
- Carlo's Jason.
- He's a mess.
All right.
Well, he's got no shortage of lawyers here.
(ALL LAUGH)
Ton, Patsy needs a refill.
- No, Ton, I'll...
- Sit down.
Of course, this one here would only take the case for free.
That's why we want her at Grubman, Grubman & Curcio.
Actually, Med and I have had some conversations...
...and we may still snag her at the firm...
- ...when she's done with law school.
- No kidding?
We went out to dinner with Steven Grubman and the subject came up.
Steven was impressed with her work at the Poverty Law Center.
He even got into starting salaries.
He was talking .
Jesus. Sweetheart, that's fantastic, huh?
- He had had too much Gevrey.
- Don't devalue yourself.
We've got a really interesting case right now. We're defending James Trefoglio...
...the county commissioner, on those corruption charges.
- Is that your case, honey?
- Bid rigging. It's got bagmen, whores.
It's fascinating.
- (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
- (GROWLING)
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, he does that.
Sometimes most of the day, just stares at Chrissy's picture.
- The f*ck?
- You know, they're funny that way.
I had an aunt, her cat would only sit...
...at the exact corners of the table, staring at her...
...or at the intersection of two walls, staring in.
This f*cking animal is history, today!
- Pick him up.
- You pick him up.
(DOOR OPENS)
T, you see this shit?
Does it all the time, he says.
- Oh, yeah?
- Look at him staring at that dead kid.
Gives me the f*cking creeps.
Walden, give us some privacy.
Yeah.
Walden. The f*ck kind of name is that for an Italian?
I was named after Mr. Bobby Darin. Walden Robert Cassotto.
Heh.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
The Cifaretto crew, it's a f*cking Chinese fire drill over there...
- ...especially now that Carlo is absent.
- I know.
I want you to skipper that thing.
- Really?
- f*cking thing is one big ATM machine.
All our construction with New York folds right into your kick.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ, I thought you'd be pleased. I didn't hand you the diagnosis of the clap.
With due respect, I'd like to just mull it a little.
I'm no spring chicken no more. I don't want to have me dying on you...
- ...leaving you worse off than before.
- You with the dead thing.
You got the arms and upper body of a -year-old.
I gotta work at that.
And I had the prostate.
All right, sure.
Go ahead.
I'm a little miffled, but, yeah, sit with it.
Thanks, T. This means everything, your faith in me.
In the line of duty.
But we're short-handed.
Anyway, mid- s, probably used the payphones.
We don't have payphones. Just a couple of stations have them anymore.
(WINDOW ROLLS DOWN)
(HUMS SPORTS THEME)
Get in.
(HUMS THE TUNE)
Activity. That's good.
- I can already see a difference.
- Yeah.
Gonna get back at it myself.
Listen...
I'm gonna join the Army.
What?
Did you sign any shit?
No, but this week I will.
- I gotta deal with Rhiannon first.
- Rhiannon? What about your mother?
- Her too.
- Are you nuts?
- You wanna get sent to Iraq?
- Afghanistan.
- The Army's probably good for my career.
- You don't have a career.
Right. My ultimate goal is to qualify for helicopter pilot training.
Afterwards go to work for Trump or somebody, be their personal pilot.
(STAMMERS)
I'm not even gonna tell your mother about this.
And don't you do nothing until we've had another chance to talk.
- You hear me?
- Yes.
He's gonna join the f*cking Army.
I gotta be frank...
...you people got him out of his room, great...
- ...so he can be cannon fodder?
- I wasn't aware of this latest plan.
(DOOR OPENS)
Sorry.
I should have gone before we left the house.
Still on the Army thing.
On the other hand, I'm thinking he could benefit...
...from the training, the discipline.
Maybe the Army'd be great for him if there wasn't a w*r going on.
Oh, I didn't tell you, he spent $ on a set of CDs that teach Arabic.
Jesus Christ, come on. "Shish kebab."
What else do you need to know?
He used to just veg in front of that TV.
He says he wants to get past the hate, focus it only on the t*rrorists.
- I really can't reveal much more.
- Right. Even though we're paying.
- This whole therapy thing, I gotta tell you...
- What?
My mother was a borderline personality.
So what?
- I don't know if you knew that.
- No.
- I did not have a very happy childhood.
- No?
- There was little love in the house.
- He's mentioned your mother very briefly.
A very difficult woman...
...undermining.
I tried to place her in a retirement community for her own good...
...she turned on me completely.
You see, I never could please my mother.
To what do I owe this chance to go sake bombing?
We used to have dinner all the time.
You're gonna get married and my chances are flying by me.
- Yeah.
- So, your brother, our little soldier boy...
...what do you think is wrong with that cucuzza?
The world is a sad, f*cked-up place.
If there's so much suffering in the world, why did you go off the pediatrician bit?
- We talked about that.
- You wanted to be a lawyer for black people.
Oh, that's all I said? Really?
What I said was, the state can crush the individual.
- New Jersey?
- The government.
Specifically, the federal government.
And what about little babies in the face of meningitis?
You know what really turned me?
Seeing the way Italians are treated.
It's like Mom says. And if we can have our rights trampled like that...
...imagine what it's like for recent arrivals.
- Well...
- If I hadn't seen you...
...dragged away all those times by the FBI...
...then I'd probably be a boring suburban doctor.
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
Bye-bye.
Wave "bye-bye, Grandpa."
- Bye-bye, Pop-pop.
- Say "Bye-bye."
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
(COOING)
I gotta make a phone call.
I'll meet you at the drugstore.
Tell the g*dd*mn pharmacist to call Dr. Iaconis.
I should get a -day supply of the Plavix.
Phil! Phil!
Oh, my God!
Phil!
Oh, my God!
Help! Help me!
My God! Oh, my God!
My babies! Somebody help!
Help me! The babies!
- Somebody help me!
- Okay, okay.
Help me, please!
Oh, God, they're locked in there!
- (HEAD SQUISHES, POPS)
- (PATTY WAILS)
- Oh!
- Oh, shit!
(RETCHES)
(SPEAKING ARABIC)
- Seen metro news?
- No.
Your old beat.
Phil Leotardo got popped.
Damn.
We're gonna win this thing.
Okay.
As your parents we don't feel joining the Army is in your best interest.
This country is in a crisis.
How can one soldier stop it?
When my enlistment's up, I could join the CIA or something.
And with a military background I'd have a leg up.
And as an Arabic speaker, I'd be really useful.
I don't understand. You're gonna ask the Donald for time off...
...from your pilot job to go on CIA missions?
- Everything's a joke to you.
- I'm not having a good time.
Did you or did you not want me to go to military school?
But I started to cry.
At least you'd have come out an officer.
Even then I was opposed to it.
I hate this idea.
I'm applying for Officer's Candidate School.
I want to be a liaison officer with the local population anyway.
Officer's Candidate School?
You have terrible grades.
You flunked out of college.
Here we go.
That's all this is about, right?
No, Anthony, that's not what this is about.
You don't want to go to college, fine, but don't get your legs blown off.
Always with the drama.
So, what does your girlfriend say, the fashion model?
- She doesn't think I should go either.
- Well?
Not that long ago you talked about owning a club.
Right. You had a problem with that too.
A lot of your friends are in film school, you say...
...especially the ones you used to go to the clubs with.
Uh...
So I got this screenplay from Danny Baldwin.
We met at your cousin's movie.
Danny hoped I'd set him up with some financing, but I never read it.
Well, you did now.
Yeah, I did now and long story short...
...it's about a private detective that gets sucked into the Internet...
...through his data port. And he's gotta solve...
...some murders
and some virtual prostitutes.
I read it. It's scary.
Point is, I talked to Little Carmine and he's interested...
- ...in developing it through his company.
- He does porn.
He did Cleaver.
He's branching out.
You would work for his producer, Inge.
You would be... what is the word... development executive on this project.
Really?
What's this gotta do with clubs?
Hollywood and gossip columns, the nightspots.
And you get some real-world experience under your belt...
...you come see me and we will talk about me investing in a club.
Run that past Rahoony, see what she says.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Somebody's giving grand jury testimony on something.
- So Carlo has flipped.
- We don't know.
And subpoenas are flying.
My hunch...
... to percent chance
you'll be indicted.
That f*cking g*n charge.
I get sick when I think of it.
Plus interstate fraud and if Carlo starts talking, homicide.
Give me the f*cking thing.
Not like we haven't envisioned this day.
- No, no, it's not.
- Look, trials are there to be won.
That's the easiest omelet ever.
In seconds you can open a can of instant soup...
...or you can make homemade soup from scratch...
...ready to heat and serve!
In seconds you can begin grating cheese for a snack...
...or you can grate cheese, shred chicken...
...chop onions and peppers to make a filling...
...that you can heat and serve...
...or hot delicious quesadillas the whole family will love.
All three ready to heat and serve.
All in seconds or less with the original Magic b*llet...
...the versatile personal countertop magician...
...that does any job in seconds or less.
Now you can do small everyday jobs like chopping garlic or onions...
...without the sticky, smelly mess in just three seconds.
Grate cheese in just four seconds.
Then screw on the handy shaker top and sprinkle onto pasta or pizza.
Or turn ice, coffee, milk and chocolate syrup...
...into a fancy frozen coffee drink in just...
(TV CHATTERING)
(SHRIEKING)
Oh, my gosh,
I won, I won, I won, I won!
(TV CONTINUES CHATTERING)
(SIGHS)
So?
With all due respect, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart...
- ...I'm gonna pass.
- I don't f*cking believe this.
- Why?
- Every guy who ran that crew...
- ...died prematurely.
- Come on.
I beat cancer once. You've got no idea what that does to you.
- Yeah, I know, but Jesus...
- Richie Aprile, Ralphie M.I.A., Vito...
...and who knows what the f*ck with Carlo, Gigi.
Gigi died taking a shit.
Doesn't mean it's not part of an overall pattern.
Paulie, are you gonna deny yourself life-changing money...
...a package to leave your niece who has M.S?
It's like your bullshit with the cat.
The f*cking animal catches mice for us, but you'd drown it.
- I would.
- He's not looking at Christopher.
A rat died in the wall back there or some shit.
I moved the picture. The f*cking thing came to the new spot and stared!
It's the abstract shapes or something.
Tell you this...
...since he's dead...
...my gambling luck's done a .
Oh, okay. It's fine for you to believe that shit...
...but I can't worry about a jinx?
Ton, I never told this to another living soul, but...
- Yeah?
- One time at Da Bing...
...I was alone to meet Eddy Lind.
I saw the Virgin Mary.
Why didn't you say something?
f*ck strippers, we could've had a shrine, sold holy water in gallon jugs.
Could've made billions.
I tell you something deep in my heart and you laugh it off?
I'm not saying there's nothing out there, Paulie, but to not live your life?
What the f*ck are you gonna do?
You don't want the job, you don't want the job.
I can put Patsy in there.
He's gonna be part of my family now.
It'd be good.
Prick.
You always know what to say to me, don't you?
No, I'm serious.
I live but to serve you, my liege.
Well, they had to get it for me.
There's no real public transport out here.
But I said no more SUV.
(CAR ALARM CHIRPS)
- (ENGINE REVS LOUDLY)
- (UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)
Well, that's the cool part.
Twenty-three highway. It's not so bad.
(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)
Hey.
(LAUGHING)
Hey.
Oh, listen, we're not eating at home tonight.
- I thought we'd go to Holsten's.
- You said we'd have manicotti.
I got meetings with carpenters.
(UPBEAT SONG CONTINUES)
(BIRD CHIRPING)
Holsten's is the consensus.
I gotta see some people.
I'll meet you there.
- Carter?
- That's correct.
And you win $ .
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Your spin, Marcia.
(RATTLING)
- Joker, Africa and Quotations.
- Sir.
- I'll take Quotations for , please.
- Sir, sir, excuse me.
"All I know is just what I read..." where?
- "In the papers."
- That's right. You have $ .
- Your spin, Ron.
- Okay, thank you, Jack.
Law Enforcement, Quotations and a Joker.
Let's take Quotations for , Jack.
(GAME SHOW CONTINUES)
- Hello.
- What, you don't recognize me?
We used to play catch.
You don't remember that you shot me?
(BIRDS TWITTERING)
Enough with the f*cking birds.
I'm Anthony, Johnny's son.
f*ck you want, a boutonniere?
All right, listen to me. Uncle Pat came to see me about Janice, about your money.
People keep asking me.
I don't know.
There's a man from another galaxy that came here.
That's your accountant.
I'm confused!
Any money should go to Bobby Baccala's kids.
Now Janice may not do that, but Bobby was with us.
He's a made guy.
Wouldn't be right.
Me, I never had kids.
You remember where your stash is, you let Uncle Pat know.
Me as the head of the family...
...I'll hold on to it as a guardian, for Bobby's kids.
- You remember Bobby?
- Sure.
You don't know who I am, do you?
Remember Johnny?
Johnny boy, your kid brother?
(SIGHS)
"This thing of ours."
I was involved with that?
You and my dad.
You two ran North Jersey.
- We did?
- Yeah.
Hmm.
Well, that's nice.
- (POP SONG PLAYING)
- (PEOPLE CONVERSING, LAUGHING)
(SONG PLAYING)
(SONG CONTINUES)
- Hey.
- Hey.
- What looks good tonight?
- I don't know.
(SNIFFS)
- Where's cucuzza?
- He just called. He's on his way.
Med's coming separately.
She had to go to the doctor.
Switch birth control.
Did you talk to Mink again?
It's Carlo. He's gonna testify.
Onion rings.
Best in the state as far as I'm concerned.
Shit.
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
How was work today?
All I do is get coffee and place endless phone calls.
You may not realize it but you're making contacts.
It's an entry-level job. So buck up.
- Right, focus on the good times.
- Don't be sarcastic.
Isn't that what you said one time? "Try to remember the times that were good"?
- I did?
- Yeah.
Well, it's true, I guess.
I went ahead and ordered some for the table.