03x05 - Another toothpick
Posted: 06/22/19 06:21
How are you feeling, from your accident? Fine.
Thank you.
Honestly? If you told me five years ago i would be sitting here today anthony's att*cks, how do they make you feel? Well, concerned of course.
And helpless a little frustrated maybe.
With your inability to help him? To tell the truth, i was referring to your inability to help him.
She has helped me.
What are you talking about? You've been coming here for three years, tony.
You still pass out on a regular basis.
I understand your frustration.
Did anthony share with you any of our insights about his last panic attack? I told you, remember? The cappicola, and my mother when i was little kid.
Right, yes.
Do you think tha t there's anything in the prese nt family dynamic that could serve as a trigger? Something in you r dialoguing perhaps? 'Scuse me? I don't really know you that well.
We're trying to ge t to root causes.
Like maybe you do things, you know, that have some effect on me? Oh, really.
What? People affect each other in life.
Oh, i get it, is this how it works? You can't get any answers out of him so you start looking for someone else to point the finger at? She's not saying anything! Why are you gettin' so defensive? You know what, tony? Maybe you should explore your own behavior.
Maybe you pass out because you're guilty over something.
Maybe the fact that you stick your d*ck into anything with a pulse.
You ever thought of exploring that as a root cause? Very nice, that's very nice.
Mm- hmm.
I told you months ago i broke it off with that russian person.
Right? It's incredible.
It's like people who smoke their whole lives and then they sue the cigarette companies when they get cancer.
You know, you agreed to come here.
Forget it, this is f*ckin' ridiculous.
Right, just sit there silence, anger.
Then you pass out and you blame the rest of the f*cking world.
Yeah, i love you, too.
You're both very angry.
You must've been in the top of your f*cking class.
Ah, jesus christ.
What? Great.
And i'm the one that doesn't f*ckin' communicate? You want to know what's wrong? After 19 years of marriage, i find it very sad that we have to pay someone to teach us how to interact.
You were all in favor.
Slow down, stop driving like a maniac.
Maybe we'l l f*cking die.
You think this is easy for me? It's like being the new kid at school, everybody jumps down your throat every time you open your mouth.
Who's picking on you? She took your side with everything you said.
Will you, please? I'm sure you'll have a good laugh about it the next time you're alone.
Yeah.
Oh, motherfuckin' f*ck! God! Jesus christ.
Are you happy now, what did i tell you? It's a f*ckin' speed trap.
How you doing? I got new shoes, soles are a little heavy.
License, registratio n, and insurance card please.
You're with the township, right? I think i had dinner with your boss last week.
Tony soprano.
Would you please remove the license from the wallet? Do you know wh y i stopped you, sir? Yeah, i do.
I'll tell you what, why don't you and your wife have dinner on me and you can tell her about it.
Are you offering m e a bribe, sir? Of course not.
You gotta relax a little.
Would you shut the engine please, sir? Just out of curiosity, what happens if i don't feel like shutting the engine? Dispatch 5- 8- 2 , request back- up.
You gotta be f*ckin' kidding me.
Tony.
Dispatch, cancel back- up.
This the high point of your career? Wait in the car.
Our tax dollars hard at f*ckin' work.
It makes you sick.
You'd think they'd be out arresting dope dealers.
You believ e this shit? This f*ckin' smoke's actually writing me up.
Stay in the car, tony.
Affirmative action c*cksucker.
What'd freddie want again? I don't know, peppers and eggs.
C'mon, help me carry that shit.
Nah, i saw a meter maid.
Bullshit.
Get me a manhattan special if they got it, instead of the coke, alright? How the f*ck should i know? Bullshit, every time i hear your machine, there's some new m*therf*cker on it! f*ck you, you shouldn't be listening to my machine, you loser! Shut your mouth! You know what? f*ck you.
Don't call me anymore! Get back in the g*dd*mn car! You think you can give me a ride up to the point? What the f*ck are you lookin' at? Uh, we're on a job in teaneck.
C'mon, it's two minutes.
f*ckin' twat, get back here, tina! Eat sh it, assh*le! C'mon, can't you just do me this favor, please? Look, why don't yo u just go with him? C'mon, can't you just take me? I can't, there's a car service sal! Fat piece of shit! He didn't do anything! C'mon, you wanna f*ck her? Sal, what are you doin'? Stop, he didn't do anything! Sal, what are you doing? Stop! Get back in the f*cking car! Get in the car! Get in the f*cking car now! Bryan, bryan! Hey.
How are ya? Thanks for comin', tony.
How you doing? Hey.
I brought hi m some whitman's.
How's he doing? I talked to him before, i think he squeezed my hand, but he's gonna be a vegetable, tony.
A f*cking ret*rd.
No, he's gonna be fine.
Look at the bright side he wasn't that smart to begin with.
C'mon, it's a tense situation.
A little f*cking levity, huh? What are you doin' here? I can't visit my cousin? I want this c*cksucker t o bleed from his ass, skipper.
You got it.
Just say the word, my f*ckin' pleasure.
Why don't you go grab us some coffee? C'mon, are you kiddin'? Better yet, go to the ear, nos e, and throat department, get your hearing checked.
Alright, obviously you told the cops you don't kn ow who did this? I'm upset, but please, i know how to keep my mouth shut.
Unless, of course, there's a salami sandwich around.
What the f*ck is wrong with you? We're trying to have a meeting here.
Two minutes he's in charge, he's f*cking lee iacocca.
C'mon.
Not here, c'mon.
There's no beef between your broth er and mustang sally? Didn't owe him any money, nothing like that? No, nothing.
This kid's a whack job.
Meadowlands, last year, remember? Threw a hot dog vendor off the second mezzanine? Too many f*ckin' onions or some shit.
Geeg', you'll get him under control? With extreme f*ckin' prejudice.
We gotta go.
Alright.
Ton'.
Hey he's gonna be fine.
Thanks, tony.
"And if i go and prepare a place for you, "i will come back again and take you to myself, so that where i am, you may also be.
" This is the word of the lord.
Thanks be to god.
There are many rooms in my father's house most certainly one for febby.
Febby lived a full life, a life of service to others.
His 78 years saw him serve his family as a devoted father, his country as a supply sergeant in the pacific theater, and most importantly, our lord, as a devout catholic.
When i last visited febby in the hospital, he had just finished his last round of chemotherapy.
Though frail and extremely thin, his fighting spirit was still intact.
His body was wracked with pain you know greg d'aiuto? His grandfather died of cancer.
They froze his head till they find a cure.
Mary carmela.
Hugh, hugh! Oh.
For the poor box.
Thank you.
I'm goin' to check out the hearse.
Don't get lost, a.
J.
Well, i'll see ya at the see ya, father.
C'mere, you, let me look at you.
Hey, c'mere! Why didn't you tell me your old man was coming? He wanted to surprise you.
You mean old prick.
I thought you were in miami playing shuffleboard.
It's too hot there.
I come up to see the grandkids, you know? And my doctor's here.
Yeah, bobby said you weren't feeling too good.
How you doin'? I'm gonna brin g the car around.
I'm sorry abou t your uncle.
Actually febby was carmela's uncle.
Buon anima, he should rest in peace.
, carm's mom was saying.
He was always thin, what do you expect? As long as i got you here your godson, mustang sally intile, he did a lee trevino off a guy's head.
That little prick is my godson in name only.
I only stood up as a favor to his father.
I'm just saying 'cause this isn't the first time.
You do whatever you gotta do.
Just so you heard it from me.
Thank you.
And i want you to know that i appreciate you looking out for bobby.
Bobby, what, are you kidding me? He's been a huge help with my uncle.
That one don't need any help.
Out of jail on a f*ckin' medical? He makes me laugh, your uncle.
That's right, we're talking about you, you cagey f*ck.
Huh? You got'e m all fooled.
Yeah, that's right.
There's bobby.
I'm sorry for your loss.
See you later.
Hey, hey, hey.
What the f*ck, he's really sick? That cough.
What do you want? He smoked those camels since he's in short pants.
Lung cancer? Oh, f*ck.
Another toothpick.
What the hell kind of way is that to talk about a sick person? Goodnight now.
Goodnight.
Thank you.
my god.
When it's righ t it's right.
We said we'd save the barolo for a big night? Check out these numbers.
Heh? Oh, my god, i knew we were busy-- not bad, eh? I think i'm gonna pass on the wine tonight.
A night like this you're gonna make me drink alone? What is it, you okay? Actually you know i love it here and you're a great boss, but christopher doesn't want me working anymore.
Please don't be mad.
No, i'm not mad at all.
I'm happy for you.
You know, with his change in situation.
You know how he is.
You think i wanna be stuck in this prison? I really wanted to give you notice, i was supposed to tell you two weeks ago.
But is it alright if tonight's my last night? Yeah, i guess i'll get charmaine to cover.
Thank you! I was so nervous about telling you.
Christopher's picking me up, so i'm gonna go fix my makeup.
Okay.
Of course.
You're not gonna jump me? What? I'm open here, i'll have to king you.
f*ck it, i don't wanna play.
I don't really wanna either.
What's with you ? all day, gloomy gus.
Sorry, it's just it's my father.
He's a tough man, he'l l beat the f*ckin' thing.
It's not the cancer, it's tony.
Tony? Well, what about him? Stop speaking in anagrams.
He okayed my dad to do the hit on mustang sally.
The prick put that spatafore kid in a coma.
f*ck sally.
I'm worried about my father, he can't do this.
He's been retired for seven years.
What's this we're in, the navy? It's not that.
This was a proud man, junior.
He's over the other night, i had to help him off the toilet he's so weak.
Will you shut the f*ck up with the toilets? All this g*dd*mn morbidity? I'm sorry, you're right.
f*ck.
At this point in a man's life to have him do something like this.
You know i never ask you for anything.
You could tell tony i'll do it myself if he wants.
f*ck what he wants, i'm still the boss of this family.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
Stop your crying , i'll tell him.
Making me f*cking depressed now.
Old man bacala's okay with this, what do you give a shit anyway? What is it with you and these power trips? What the f*ck are you talking about? Pardon me may i? Yeah.
Your girl got any coffee out there? I think we can rustle some up.
Tax code, another client, irs troubles.
Sorry, mel.
To find a place they're not allowed to bug dr.
Schreck's office has a full waiting room.
I sit too much anyway.
It has to be the old man, huh? There's no other way? There's a million other ways, but this one'll work.
It was gigi's idea, i'm not cutting his f*ckin' balls off.
Mustang sally's m.
I.
A.
Two days ago he reaches out to old man bacala for help.
Old man bacala's his godfather.
He can get close without arousin' suspicion.
It still doesn't sit right.
He's done it a thousand times.
He's a sick old man! Good, it'll give him something to live for.
So i told him, i'd take those duncan shiek records and shove'e m up his ass.
Wait a minute, who let this one in here? Oh, wolfgang fuckface.
Hey, artie.
The man wh o stole her away.
Adriana, she gave her notice.
Help yourself.
You better be good to that girl you c*cksucker.
No wonder the food sucks.
You're supposed to cook with the wine, artie.
Three years best hoste ss i ever had, this piece of shit steals her away.
Artie, c'mon.
Ah, c'mon, he know s i'm breaking his balls.
Alright.
Seriously though, i'm you? I'd hire a food taster.
You don't want to f*ck with a chef, my friend.
What? You think you're the only one who knows how to swing a meat cleaver? f*ck you.
Artie i'm kidding, huh? Wanna try cooking with one f*ckin' eye? That's enough! Go wait outside! Now! What the f*ck? What the f*ck is wrong with you? She's his f*ckin' fiancee! I loved her.
I f*ckin' love her now.
Artie do me a favor.
Don't ever f*ckin' say that again to anybody ever.
What am i, a joke? Yeah, a stupid f*ckin' bald one.
Not to mention married.
Can i tell you something? She's a c**t.
My f*ckin' wife.
A girl like ad e, that's a woman.
If i still had my hair artie, she's a young girl.
You could have hair like f*ckin' casey kasem, it won't make a difference.
Yeah.
Look, go in the back, get some coffee, go home, go the f*ck to sleep.
I should go apologize.
Not right now.
Let me talk to chris.
You go home.
Call me tomorrow.
I got a business opportunity over in newark.
Jesus f*ckin' christ.
Mr.
Spears for you on three.
Seth, i gotta take this.
Alright.
Hey.
So, what's the story with this f*ckin' speedin' ticket? What? I'm on it, i told you.
I just got some f*ckin' letter in the mail.
Throw it out, forget it.
What the f*ck, i gotta call my guy down at the dmv to get this squashed? I told you, it's a deplorable situation and i'll take care of it.
Hey, good news about the riverfront esplanade thing.
We still on for thursday? Just straighten the f*ckin' ticket out, okay? Where's your father? He called, he stopped by the bakery, wanted to pick up a shortcake.
He never comes empty handed.
Talk to tony? No, i decided against it.
I didn't even call him.
You choose this life, it comes with responsibilities, bobby.
Nobody knows that better than your old man.
I was asking for me.
Teddy roosevelt gave an entire speech once with a b*llet lodged in his chest.
Some things are a matter of duty.
sonofab*tch.
Are you alright? I'm fine f*cking steps.
Here, sit down.
Jesus.
f*ck, is that blood? Jesus christ, call a f*ckin' doctor.
No, no, no.
It's the nodules in his lungs, it happens whe n he's out of breath.
Blessed saint dennis, is this what it comes to? Get him some water for chrissake! These doctors, what are they doing for him? I don't know, whatever theydo.
Water.
I want you to call john kennedy, he's the head of oncology at saint barnabas.
Junior, i'm happy with my guy.
What the f*ck is he doing? Are you taking the chemo? Is he giving you oxygen therapy? The cure's worse than the f*ckin' illness.
c*cksucker! This is an outrage! He can't have you clip someone in this condition! Junior, i wanna do it.
Eight years sitting on my ass.
It'll feel good feelin' useful for a change.
This sally's a tough kid, bobby, what if things don't go your way? If they don't, they don't.
What the f*ck? I'm dead anyway.
Paul newman starte d with the salad dressing, now they're over a hundred million a year.
And you know how people love my sauce.
Arthur, you run a restaurant.
What do you know about mass production? I have an associate's in business, for god's sake.
How are we gonna gro w if we don't take risks? Going into business with a gangster isn't a risk.
That is a guaranteed disaster.
It's legitimate.
It's part of the revitalization.
The city of newark is giving tax breaks for re- openi ng old factories.
I'm trying to work here, artie.
f*ck the vegetables.
We have a chance to have our own company, our own line of products.
Then why is it called "satriale's"? The pork store has a customer base, name recognition.
Vesuvio doesn't? Your grandfather opened up in the 30s, arthur.
Tony talked to thi s marketing- research guy.
Product branding s beginning with the letter "v" make people think of vag*na.
It's a turn- off.
What did you just say? Vaseline, etcetera.
The whol e thing is can't you see the opportunities here? Yes, to be a front for a mobster.
Jesus christ, already! Oh, when are you gonna learn, huh? Be happy in thine own self.
The dvd's incredible.
Flat screen, right? f*ckin' surround sound.
"In this world or the next, i shall have my revenge.
" Here we go.
No, i'm telling you, it's like the chariots are goin' through the f*ckin' house.
Skateboards, don't i know.
Sweetheart, more water, please.
So, what's this i hear, you got old man bacala makin' a comeback? He didn't hear i t from me, 'ton.
Hey, i'm not tryin' to butt in.
Junior reached out, asked me to talk to you.
My old man worked for him a lotta years, he's just looking out for him.
It does seem a little extreme, but, hey, my man, gigootz, he knows what he's doing, huh? Glad i have your f*ckin' approval.
Whatever you say, cappy.
Alright, here it is, okay? For you, junior and anybody the f*ck else.
Gigi's captain of that crew.
He gave the order, i okayed it.
End of f*ckin' story.
Tony, please, no offense.
Obviously, it's your call.
Yeah, obviously.
What? Nothin'.
It's just, you know, sending an old man, what's he gonna do? Gum the guy to death? Anybody ask for your input? No, no, i'm just saying you should let me doit.
I'll take this guy apart at the joints, with him conscious.
We got all kinds ho, it's shaft.
What are you, here on a stakeout? May i help you with something? Yeah, i need a piece of this, about this long.
Unless you wanna come over to my house, check on my birdbath.
Make sure it's up to code first.
I'll check the computer.
Hey, get your ticket book.
Doesn't that constitute indecent exposure? Actually, i no lon ger need my ticket book.
Your friend, the assemblyman, saw to it i was transferred to the property room.
So, you're no longer the scourge of cedar grove? Nor am i eligible for overtime.
Leon, take your break at two.
Well, not that it matters, just so you know, i didn't tell him to do any of that shit.
That was v ery kind of you.
We're out of stock.
Tony! Tony, the phone! Alright, jesus! He'll be right with you.
Who is it? I don't know.
I'm goin g fortunoff's.
When are you coming home? When i'm done.
Hello.
It's ron.
You paged me? Oh, yeah, yeah, listen, i ran into that guy, you know, the traffic cop? It's done, it's alrea dy taken care of.
I know, i know, it's just i don't know.
You got him busted off the street? f*ck him, isn't that what you wanted? Yeah, but, it's kinda harsh, no? Tony, i spoke to his unit commander.
Nobody likes the guy, he's a g*dd*mn rabble- rouser.
Yeah, maybe, but i don't know.
Believe me, it goes beyond you.
The guy's depresse d, he's all wound up.
They think he might have some serious mental problems.
c*cksucker.
You're a liar! The old man? I don't know, what's he look like? Like an ol d f*ckin' man.
He's all coughing and shit.
Uncle bobby, thank god! Thanks for coming.
More f*ckin' stairs! You should do yourself a favor, quit while you're young.
Gotta die for from somethin', papi.
Hey, f*ck- assh*le, take the shit outta here.
Alrigh t, i'm sorry.
Let me talk to my uncle.
Over here.
Who's this little spic? A guy i know, he fucks the lady whose house is it.
I'm sorry.
You know, you put that kid in a f*ckin' coma, sal.
And for what, talkin' to some puttan? I know i was wrong, i'm sorry he wasn't some citizen, kid has friends.
I'm sorry, uncle bobby, anything, whatever tony soprano wants me to do.
Take it easy, i got you a pass.
Thank you.
Thank you so f*ckin' much.
It's good you called, that's all i'm gonna say.
Tell tony it'll never happen again, i swear.
Or if it does, i'll at least yell "fore" next time, huh? I'm sorry.
I shouldn't make jokes.
Get me a glass of water.
Yeah.
You want ice? No.
Let the wa ter run, though, make s ure it's cold.
Are you alright? I'm fine.
So, this guy's still in a coma? What do you think, should i visit him o r is that too f*cked up? Yeah, i think you should go see him.
Eh, i don't know.
Maybe i should send him something.
Some flowers or some shit.
Oh, what the f*ck? Eh, you f*ckin' grease ball, you! C'mon, c'mon, an y more smart remarks? No, mr.
Bacala, please, please! No more! Mmmm.
all the f*ckin' luck.
I told him he shouldn't do it.
Had to go all the way to staten island to identify him.
He's a cold- hearted prick, that nephew of mine.
Cocksuckers didn't even clean him up.
He still had bits of glass in his hair from the windshield.
What was he, 71? I don't know, 68.
So, what did they say? What was the cause of death? Who, what do you mean? The morgue, the cause of death.
Was it the cancer or the accident? How advanced was the metastasis anyway? All due respect, junior what do you care about the details? All this technical shit.
You're right.
The man's passed on, we should let him rest in peace.
He was a good man, your father.
A good friend.
m*therf*cker! Godammit, dirty b*stards! Jesus f*cking christ! A customer says goodnight, you barely look up? I said it low.
"Miss personality" over here.
What's with the glasses? I left my contacts home.
You know, i don't know w hat your problem is, but you've had a hair across your ass all week.
Lower your voice.
What, are you still pissed 'cause i told you you couldn't go into business with tony? You don't tell me f*cking anything, charmaine.
For your information, i am going int o business with tony.
If you do this, artie, if you choose tony over me what, what are you gonna do, divorce me? Is that what you want, artie? What? What'd i say? This marriage is over, arthur.
I'm serious, artie.
Good, it's about f*cking time.
And you're not getting the kids either.
Son of a b*tch! Hey look who's here.
He volunteered to mow your lawn.
No, i didn't.
Hi, anthony.
That time of year again.
I brought you the last of my sweet corn.
Well, what's the matter, you alright? Anthony, be a good boy, huh? Wait outside, i need to talk to your father.
I'm telling you right now, if this is about old man bacala, i don't wann a f*ckin' hear it.
I have cancer.
You have what? Cancer the big casino.
Jesus christ, when 'd you find this out? Blood in my stool.
I had my first test the day before your mother's funeral.
That's why you been actin' so f*ckin' weird? Is it, what is it, where is it? Is it in your colon, or my stomach.
Jesus christ, uncle jun'.
Did they say how bad? They won't know 'til they open me up.
I go in in two weeks.
This has to stay between us, anthony.
Yeah, of course.
Look, we'll get you help, we'll get you the best there is.
First jackie with cancer, then febby.
Old man bacala had it, but, now you'll get me help? These things come in threes.
Is that why you didn't want the old man to make the hit? What'd you think, if he died of cancer, he was gonna take your place? I asked you not to make him do it.
Ah, jesus christ, un- f*ckin'- believable.
I'm serious, anthony, what i said.
Promise me that you'll dummy up about this.
Yeah, alright.
You're sick, people look at you different, they treat you like a f*ckin' non- entity.
I'm not kidding.
You can't talk about this with anybody.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Of course.
Hello? Uncle jun's got cancer.
A lotta death ma seems like yesterday , pop and emphysema.
Uncle jun', another toothpick.
Hey, jan, a little respect.
I'm sorry, it's just what ma used to say.
Yeah, that's right.
She said it about her own brother, remember? Another toothpick jesus what was he, like 36 years old, uncle mickey.
Liver cancer.
Jesus, these old timers, i guess the more hard- ass their attitude, the more they coul d suppress their feelings.
I think it's the illusion of control.
Control? You say the most horrible shit you can think of in the face of tragedy, it's like saying to god,"see? "You don't fool me, assh*le.
I know what you're planning.
" Yeah, like they're try ing to ward off some evil or some shit.
Remember how ma, she hated compliments? Giving'em or taking'em.
'Cause then, maybe, at any minute, boom.
I've really been coming to know christ.
Ma, febby, uncle jun', always comes in threes, huh? And, then, there's the holy trinity.
You think that's a coincidence? What happened to sal bonpensiero, ton'? Witness protection.
Would you like to pray with me? Two weeks ago? Why didn't you say anything? Did you report it at least? To who, the rent- a- cops? Campus security's a joke.
Well, don't you think they should know they have a thief preying on the school? Who? What are you talking about? Nothing.
Her bike was stolen from outside the library two weeks ago.
The ten speed? Did yo u lock it up? They used bolt cutters.
Some black guy from the neighborhood.
One of the other kids saw him.
What? Did i say anything? A black guy.
Imagine that.
Tony it's just, you kno w, i can't believe it.
I am not listening to this shit.
Why don't yo u admit it? You're thinkin' exactl y what i'm thinkin'.
Tony, what did i say? What, is it my fault you're twice as likely to be robbed by a black? That is so f*cking r*cist! It happens to be a fact.
From who, david duke? Why are they talking about this in the basement? Try the fbi, i saw it on tv.
Oh, so now you're quoting the fbi.
I don't think they're in the basement.
But, the lamp.
That's right, it's on battery back up.
Why? For your information, crime is an economic issue, not a racial one.
White or african- american, you're mor e likely to steal if you're in a lower income bracket, which most african- americans are.
Good, then you'll feel better when the next one takes your car stereo.
You are such a hypocrite! This is what i been trying to tell you all along.
You stay with your own people! Wait a second, where are you going where that lamp? I'm taking it.
The halogen nana gave me gives me a headache.
Hey, don't chang e the g*dd*mn subject, both of you! I'm out of here.
Be sure to call me when you need some money! Good, now you got something you can rat me o ut about in therapy! 'Madonn, this place! You only retire once.
Is that an earring? Huh? Your ear, i never noticed before.
This? I've had thi s for years.
I don't wear it all the time.
Chris tell ya we had a little run- in? He's just jealous.
Of what? We're friends.
You know how he is.
I'm glad he didn't make you cancel tonight.
He don't know about tonight, he thinks i'm with cindy.
I'm gonna miss you, ade.
Oh, i'm gonna miss you too, artie.
Charmaine, the busboys.
Charmaine what's wrong? Charmaine and me , we're gonna try it apart for a little while.
Oh, my god, artie, are you okay? The kids? It's f or the best.
Hey, did i tell you? I'm gonna go int o business with tony.
What, like a restaurant? Satriale foods.
Probably gonna cha nge the name to vesuvio.
Sauce, taral, ravioli.
That's great, congratulations.
You change your mi nd about the marriage, there's always room on my staff for a bright, sexy, vice president.
It's a big step, marriage.
You sure you're ready? Yeah, i'm sure.
You know where the ladies room is? Yeah, i think it's, i think it's behind the bar.
Okay no, no.
The plate is hot.
Restaurants, stores, slips for luxury yachts we'll go with my plumbing and electrical unions.
The steel, the brick work, it's all yours.
We need to hav e a conversation about local 187.
You gotta come by the office, see the scale model.
The guy even made little people walking on the street! f*ckin' newark! They got little hooker s giving little blow jobs.
I gotta go take a leak.
So, i got a call from eddie voehl, at the pba.
Your friend, the cop? He's bitching about losing his overtime.
He's got some black officers' squad looking into his case.
Oh, yeah? If you want, i can get it squashed, get him reassigned.
You know what? f*ck him.
c*cksucker got what he deserved.
Yes? The tony soprano wiretap has been neutralized.
What do you mean? Hello? In here.
What are you doing , you're not ready? I'm not going.
They gave yo u permission.
I can't, i'm not up to it.
It's my father's funeral, junior.
You hear me, i don't feel up to snuff.
You look okay to me.
Junior! What's the matter, didn't you get the arrangement i sent? My whole family's in the car.
I gotta tell you, junior, i take this as a personal insult.
What do you think, i don't give a shit? What am i supposed to think? You selfish f*ck, i can't go because i'm sick.
I have cancer.
Cancer? Oh, my god.
Real wisenheimer, now how do you feel? Two weeks, i go in for the surgery, and they'll probably start me on the chemo after that.
Junior, i'm sorry.
I don't know what to say.
Yeah, yeah, alright.
I'll say a prayer for your old man.
My fathe r, now you what the f uck is happening? You'll miss the boat.
Lady, i missed the boat a long time age.
Including tax and delivery, it comes to $897.
23.
Just make sure it gets to my house in one piece.
Come on
Thank you.
Honestly? If you told me five years ago i would be sitting here today anthony's att*cks, how do they make you feel? Well, concerned of course.
And helpless a little frustrated maybe.
With your inability to help him? To tell the truth, i was referring to your inability to help him.
She has helped me.
What are you talking about? You've been coming here for three years, tony.
You still pass out on a regular basis.
I understand your frustration.
Did anthony share with you any of our insights about his last panic attack? I told you, remember? The cappicola, and my mother when i was little kid.
Right, yes.
Do you think tha t there's anything in the prese nt family dynamic that could serve as a trigger? Something in you r dialoguing perhaps? 'Scuse me? I don't really know you that well.
We're trying to ge t to root causes.
Like maybe you do things, you know, that have some effect on me? Oh, really.
What? People affect each other in life.
Oh, i get it, is this how it works? You can't get any answers out of him so you start looking for someone else to point the finger at? She's not saying anything! Why are you gettin' so defensive? You know what, tony? Maybe you should explore your own behavior.
Maybe you pass out because you're guilty over something.
Maybe the fact that you stick your d*ck into anything with a pulse.
You ever thought of exploring that as a root cause? Very nice, that's very nice.
Mm- hmm.
I told you months ago i broke it off with that russian person.
Right? It's incredible.
It's like people who smoke their whole lives and then they sue the cigarette companies when they get cancer.
You know, you agreed to come here.
Forget it, this is f*ckin' ridiculous.
Right, just sit there silence, anger.
Then you pass out and you blame the rest of the f*cking world.
Yeah, i love you, too.
You're both very angry.
You must've been in the top of your f*cking class.
Ah, jesus christ.
What? Great.
And i'm the one that doesn't f*ckin' communicate? You want to know what's wrong? After 19 years of marriage, i find it very sad that we have to pay someone to teach us how to interact.
You were all in favor.
Slow down, stop driving like a maniac.
Maybe we'l l f*cking die.
You think this is easy for me? It's like being the new kid at school, everybody jumps down your throat every time you open your mouth.
Who's picking on you? She took your side with everything you said.
Will you, please? I'm sure you'll have a good laugh about it the next time you're alone.
Yeah.
Oh, motherfuckin' f*ck! God! Jesus christ.
Are you happy now, what did i tell you? It's a f*ckin' speed trap.
How you doing? I got new shoes, soles are a little heavy.
License, registratio n, and insurance card please.
You're with the township, right? I think i had dinner with your boss last week.
Tony soprano.
Would you please remove the license from the wallet? Do you know wh y i stopped you, sir? Yeah, i do.
I'll tell you what, why don't you and your wife have dinner on me and you can tell her about it.
Are you offering m e a bribe, sir? Of course not.
You gotta relax a little.
Would you shut the engine please, sir? Just out of curiosity, what happens if i don't feel like shutting the engine? Dispatch 5- 8- 2 , request back- up.
You gotta be f*ckin' kidding me.
Tony.
Dispatch, cancel back- up.
This the high point of your career? Wait in the car.
Our tax dollars hard at f*ckin' work.
It makes you sick.
You'd think they'd be out arresting dope dealers.
You believ e this shit? This f*ckin' smoke's actually writing me up.
Stay in the car, tony.
Affirmative action c*cksucker.
What'd freddie want again? I don't know, peppers and eggs.
C'mon, help me carry that shit.
Nah, i saw a meter maid.
Bullshit.
Get me a manhattan special if they got it, instead of the coke, alright? How the f*ck should i know? Bullshit, every time i hear your machine, there's some new m*therf*cker on it! f*ck you, you shouldn't be listening to my machine, you loser! Shut your mouth! You know what? f*ck you.
Don't call me anymore! Get back in the g*dd*mn car! You think you can give me a ride up to the point? What the f*ck are you lookin' at? Uh, we're on a job in teaneck.
C'mon, it's two minutes.
f*ckin' twat, get back here, tina! Eat sh it, assh*le! C'mon, can't you just do me this favor, please? Look, why don't yo u just go with him? C'mon, can't you just take me? I can't, there's a car service sal! Fat piece of shit! He didn't do anything! C'mon, you wanna f*ck her? Sal, what are you doin'? Stop, he didn't do anything! Sal, what are you doing? Stop! Get back in the f*cking car! Get in the car! Get in the f*cking car now! Bryan, bryan! Hey.
How are ya? Thanks for comin', tony.
How you doing? Hey.
I brought hi m some whitman's.
How's he doing? I talked to him before, i think he squeezed my hand, but he's gonna be a vegetable, tony.
A f*cking ret*rd.
No, he's gonna be fine.
Look at the bright side he wasn't that smart to begin with.
C'mon, it's a tense situation.
A little f*cking levity, huh? What are you doin' here? I can't visit my cousin? I want this c*cksucker t o bleed from his ass, skipper.
You got it.
Just say the word, my f*ckin' pleasure.
Why don't you go grab us some coffee? C'mon, are you kiddin'? Better yet, go to the ear, nos e, and throat department, get your hearing checked.
Alright, obviously you told the cops you don't kn ow who did this? I'm upset, but please, i know how to keep my mouth shut.
Unless, of course, there's a salami sandwich around.
What the f*ck is wrong with you? We're trying to have a meeting here.
Two minutes he's in charge, he's f*cking lee iacocca.
C'mon.
Not here, c'mon.
There's no beef between your broth er and mustang sally? Didn't owe him any money, nothing like that? No, nothing.
This kid's a whack job.
Meadowlands, last year, remember? Threw a hot dog vendor off the second mezzanine? Too many f*ckin' onions or some shit.
Geeg', you'll get him under control? With extreme f*ckin' prejudice.
We gotta go.
Alright.
Ton'.
Hey he's gonna be fine.
Thanks, tony.
"And if i go and prepare a place for you, "i will come back again and take you to myself, so that where i am, you may also be.
" This is the word of the lord.
Thanks be to god.
There are many rooms in my father's house most certainly one for febby.
Febby lived a full life, a life of service to others.
His 78 years saw him serve his family as a devoted father, his country as a supply sergeant in the pacific theater, and most importantly, our lord, as a devout catholic.
When i last visited febby in the hospital, he had just finished his last round of chemotherapy.
Though frail and extremely thin, his fighting spirit was still intact.
His body was wracked with pain you know greg d'aiuto? His grandfather died of cancer.
They froze his head till they find a cure.
Mary carmela.
Hugh, hugh! Oh.
For the poor box.
Thank you.
I'm goin' to check out the hearse.
Don't get lost, a.
J.
Well, i'll see ya at the see ya, father.
C'mere, you, let me look at you.
Hey, c'mere! Why didn't you tell me your old man was coming? He wanted to surprise you.
You mean old prick.
I thought you were in miami playing shuffleboard.
It's too hot there.
I come up to see the grandkids, you know? And my doctor's here.
Yeah, bobby said you weren't feeling too good.
How you doin'? I'm gonna brin g the car around.
I'm sorry abou t your uncle.
Actually febby was carmela's uncle.
Buon anima, he should rest in peace.
, carm's mom was saying.
He was always thin, what do you expect? As long as i got you here your godson, mustang sally intile, he did a lee trevino off a guy's head.
That little prick is my godson in name only.
I only stood up as a favor to his father.
I'm just saying 'cause this isn't the first time.
You do whatever you gotta do.
Just so you heard it from me.
Thank you.
And i want you to know that i appreciate you looking out for bobby.
Bobby, what, are you kidding me? He's been a huge help with my uncle.
That one don't need any help.
Out of jail on a f*ckin' medical? He makes me laugh, your uncle.
That's right, we're talking about you, you cagey f*ck.
Huh? You got'e m all fooled.
Yeah, that's right.
There's bobby.
I'm sorry for your loss.
See you later.
Hey, hey, hey.
What the f*ck, he's really sick? That cough.
What do you want? He smoked those camels since he's in short pants.
Lung cancer? Oh, f*ck.
Another toothpick.
What the hell kind of way is that to talk about a sick person? Goodnight now.
Goodnight.
Thank you.
my god.
When it's righ t it's right.
We said we'd save the barolo for a big night? Check out these numbers.
Heh? Oh, my god, i knew we were busy-- not bad, eh? I think i'm gonna pass on the wine tonight.
A night like this you're gonna make me drink alone? What is it, you okay? Actually you know i love it here and you're a great boss, but christopher doesn't want me working anymore.
Please don't be mad.
No, i'm not mad at all.
I'm happy for you.
You know, with his change in situation.
You know how he is.
You think i wanna be stuck in this prison? I really wanted to give you notice, i was supposed to tell you two weeks ago.
But is it alright if tonight's my last night? Yeah, i guess i'll get charmaine to cover.
Thank you! I was so nervous about telling you.
Christopher's picking me up, so i'm gonna go fix my makeup.
Okay.
Of course.
You're not gonna jump me? What? I'm open here, i'll have to king you.
f*ck it, i don't wanna play.
I don't really wanna either.
What's with you ? all day, gloomy gus.
Sorry, it's just it's my father.
He's a tough man, he'l l beat the f*ckin' thing.
It's not the cancer, it's tony.
Tony? Well, what about him? Stop speaking in anagrams.
He okayed my dad to do the hit on mustang sally.
The prick put that spatafore kid in a coma.
f*ck sally.
I'm worried about my father, he can't do this.
He's been retired for seven years.
What's this we're in, the navy? It's not that.
This was a proud man, junior.
He's over the other night, i had to help him off the toilet he's so weak.
Will you shut the f*ck up with the toilets? All this g*dd*mn morbidity? I'm sorry, you're right.
f*ck.
At this point in a man's life to have him do something like this.
You know i never ask you for anything.
You could tell tony i'll do it myself if he wants.
f*ck what he wants, i'm still the boss of this family.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
Stop your crying , i'll tell him.
Making me f*cking depressed now.
Old man bacala's okay with this, what do you give a shit anyway? What is it with you and these power trips? What the f*ck are you talking about? Pardon me may i? Yeah.
Your girl got any coffee out there? I think we can rustle some up.
Tax code, another client, irs troubles.
Sorry, mel.
To find a place they're not allowed to bug dr.
Schreck's office has a full waiting room.
I sit too much anyway.
It has to be the old man, huh? There's no other way? There's a million other ways, but this one'll work.
It was gigi's idea, i'm not cutting his f*ckin' balls off.
Mustang sally's m.
I.
A.
Two days ago he reaches out to old man bacala for help.
Old man bacala's his godfather.
He can get close without arousin' suspicion.
It still doesn't sit right.
He's done it a thousand times.
He's a sick old man! Good, it'll give him something to live for.
So i told him, i'd take those duncan shiek records and shove'e m up his ass.
Wait a minute, who let this one in here? Oh, wolfgang fuckface.
Hey, artie.
The man wh o stole her away.
Adriana, she gave her notice.
Help yourself.
You better be good to that girl you c*cksucker.
No wonder the food sucks.
You're supposed to cook with the wine, artie.
Three years best hoste ss i ever had, this piece of shit steals her away.
Artie, c'mon.
Ah, c'mon, he know s i'm breaking his balls.
Alright.
Seriously though, i'm you? I'd hire a food taster.
You don't want to f*ck with a chef, my friend.
What? You think you're the only one who knows how to swing a meat cleaver? f*ck you.
Artie i'm kidding, huh? Wanna try cooking with one f*ckin' eye? That's enough! Go wait outside! Now! What the f*ck? What the f*ck is wrong with you? She's his f*ckin' fiancee! I loved her.
I f*ckin' love her now.
Artie do me a favor.
Don't ever f*ckin' say that again to anybody ever.
What am i, a joke? Yeah, a stupid f*ckin' bald one.
Not to mention married.
Can i tell you something? She's a c**t.
My f*ckin' wife.
A girl like ad e, that's a woman.
If i still had my hair artie, she's a young girl.
You could have hair like f*ckin' casey kasem, it won't make a difference.
Yeah.
Look, go in the back, get some coffee, go home, go the f*ck to sleep.
I should go apologize.
Not right now.
Let me talk to chris.
You go home.
Call me tomorrow.
I got a business opportunity over in newark.
Jesus f*ckin' christ.
Mr.
Spears for you on three.
Seth, i gotta take this.
Alright.
Hey.
So, what's the story with this f*ckin' speedin' ticket? What? I'm on it, i told you.
I just got some f*ckin' letter in the mail.
Throw it out, forget it.
What the f*ck, i gotta call my guy down at the dmv to get this squashed? I told you, it's a deplorable situation and i'll take care of it.
Hey, good news about the riverfront esplanade thing.
We still on for thursday? Just straighten the f*ckin' ticket out, okay? Where's your father? He called, he stopped by the bakery, wanted to pick up a shortcake.
He never comes empty handed.
Talk to tony? No, i decided against it.
I didn't even call him.
You choose this life, it comes with responsibilities, bobby.
Nobody knows that better than your old man.
I was asking for me.
Teddy roosevelt gave an entire speech once with a b*llet lodged in his chest.
Some things are a matter of duty.
sonofab*tch.
Are you alright? I'm fine f*cking steps.
Here, sit down.
Jesus.
f*ck, is that blood? Jesus christ, call a f*ckin' doctor.
No, no, no.
It's the nodules in his lungs, it happens whe n he's out of breath.
Blessed saint dennis, is this what it comes to? Get him some water for chrissake! These doctors, what are they doing for him? I don't know, whatever theydo.
Water.
I want you to call john kennedy, he's the head of oncology at saint barnabas.
Junior, i'm happy with my guy.
What the f*ck is he doing? Are you taking the chemo? Is he giving you oxygen therapy? The cure's worse than the f*ckin' illness.
c*cksucker! This is an outrage! He can't have you clip someone in this condition! Junior, i wanna do it.
Eight years sitting on my ass.
It'll feel good feelin' useful for a change.
This sally's a tough kid, bobby, what if things don't go your way? If they don't, they don't.
What the f*ck? I'm dead anyway.
Paul newman starte d with the salad dressing, now they're over a hundred million a year.
And you know how people love my sauce.
Arthur, you run a restaurant.
What do you know about mass production? I have an associate's in business, for god's sake.
How are we gonna gro w if we don't take risks? Going into business with a gangster isn't a risk.
That is a guaranteed disaster.
It's legitimate.
It's part of the revitalization.
The city of newark is giving tax breaks for re- openi ng old factories.
I'm trying to work here, artie.
f*ck the vegetables.
We have a chance to have our own company, our own line of products.
Then why is it called "satriale's"? The pork store has a customer base, name recognition.
Vesuvio doesn't? Your grandfather opened up in the 30s, arthur.
Tony talked to thi s marketing- research guy.
Product branding s beginning with the letter "v" make people think of vag*na.
It's a turn- off.
What did you just say? Vaseline, etcetera.
The whol e thing is can't you see the opportunities here? Yes, to be a front for a mobster.
Jesus christ, already! Oh, when are you gonna learn, huh? Be happy in thine own self.
The dvd's incredible.
Flat screen, right? f*ckin' surround sound.
"In this world or the next, i shall have my revenge.
" Here we go.
No, i'm telling you, it's like the chariots are goin' through the f*ckin' house.
Skateboards, don't i know.
Sweetheart, more water, please.
So, what's this i hear, you got old man bacala makin' a comeback? He didn't hear i t from me, 'ton.
Hey, i'm not tryin' to butt in.
Junior reached out, asked me to talk to you.
My old man worked for him a lotta years, he's just looking out for him.
It does seem a little extreme, but, hey, my man, gigootz, he knows what he's doing, huh? Glad i have your f*ckin' approval.
Whatever you say, cappy.
Alright, here it is, okay? For you, junior and anybody the f*ck else.
Gigi's captain of that crew.
He gave the order, i okayed it.
End of f*ckin' story.
Tony, please, no offense.
Obviously, it's your call.
Yeah, obviously.
What? Nothin'.
It's just, you know, sending an old man, what's he gonna do? Gum the guy to death? Anybody ask for your input? No, no, i'm just saying you should let me doit.
I'll take this guy apart at the joints, with him conscious.
We got all kinds ho, it's shaft.
What are you, here on a stakeout? May i help you with something? Yeah, i need a piece of this, about this long.
Unless you wanna come over to my house, check on my birdbath.
Make sure it's up to code first.
I'll check the computer.
Hey, get your ticket book.
Doesn't that constitute indecent exposure? Actually, i no lon ger need my ticket book.
Your friend, the assemblyman, saw to it i was transferred to the property room.
So, you're no longer the scourge of cedar grove? Nor am i eligible for overtime.
Leon, take your break at two.
Well, not that it matters, just so you know, i didn't tell him to do any of that shit.
That was v ery kind of you.
We're out of stock.
Tony! Tony, the phone! Alright, jesus! He'll be right with you.
Who is it? I don't know.
I'm goin g fortunoff's.
When are you coming home? When i'm done.
Hello.
It's ron.
You paged me? Oh, yeah, yeah, listen, i ran into that guy, you know, the traffic cop? It's done, it's alrea dy taken care of.
I know, i know, it's just i don't know.
You got him busted off the street? f*ck him, isn't that what you wanted? Yeah, but, it's kinda harsh, no? Tony, i spoke to his unit commander.
Nobody likes the guy, he's a g*dd*mn rabble- rouser.
Yeah, maybe, but i don't know.
Believe me, it goes beyond you.
The guy's depresse d, he's all wound up.
They think he might have some serious mental problems.
c*cksucker.
You're a liar! The old man? I don't know, what's he look like? Like an ol d f*ckin' man.
He's all coughing and shit.
Uncle bobby, thank god! Thanks for coming.
More f*ckin' stairs! You should do yourself a favor, quit while you're young.
Gotta die for from somethin', papi.
Hey, f*ck- assh*le, take the shit outta here.
Alrigh t, i'm sorry.
Let me talk to my uncle.
Over here.
Who's this little spic? A guy i know, he fucks the lady whose house is it.
I'm sorry.
You know, you put that kid in a f*ckin' coma, sal.
And for what, talkin' to some puttan? I know i was wrong, i'm sorry he wasn't some citizen, kid has friends.
I'm sorry, uncle bobby, anything, whatever tony soprano wants me to do.
Take it easy, i got you a pass.
Thank you.
Thank you so f*ckin' much.
It's good you called, that's all i'm gonna say.
Tell tony it'll never happen again, i swear.
Or if it does, i'll at least yell "fore" next time, huh? I'm sorry.
I shouldn't make jokes.
Get me a glass of water.
Yeah.
You want ice? No.
Let the wa ter run, though, make s ure it's cold.
Are you alright? I'm fine.
So, this guy's still in a coma? What do you think, should i visit him o r is that too f*cked up? Yeah, i think you should go see him.
Eh, i don't know.
Maybe i should send him something.
Some flowers or some shit.
Oh, what the f*ck? Eh, you f*ckin' grease ball, you! C'mon, c'mon, an y more smart remarks? No, mr.
Bacala, please, please! No more! Mmmm.
all the f*ckin' luck.
I told him he shouldn't do it.
Had to go all the way to staten island to identify him.
He's a cold- hearted prick, that nephew of mine.
Cocksuckers didn't even clean him up.
He still had bits of glass in his hair from the windshield.
What was he, 71? I don't know, 68.
So, what did they say? What was the cause of death? Who, what do you mean? The morgue, the cause of death.
Was it the cancer or the accident? How advanced was the metastasis anyway? All due respect, junior what do you care about the details? All this technical shit.
You're right.
The man's passed on, we should let him rest in peace.
He was a good man, your father.
A good friend.
m*therf*cker! Godammit, dirty b*stards! Jesus f*cking christ! A customer says goodnight, you barely look up? I said it low.
"Miss personality" over here.
What's with the glasses? I left my contacts home.
You know, i don't know w hat your problem is, but you've had a hair across your ass all week.
Lower your voice.
What, are you still pissed 'cause i told you you couldn't go into business with tony? You don't tell me f*cking anything, charmaine.
For your information, i am going int o business with tony.
If you do this, artie, if you choose tony over me what, what are you gonna do, divorce me? Is that what you want, artie? What? What'd i say? This marriage is over, arthur.
I'm serious, artie.
Good, it's about f*cking time.
And you're not getting the kids either.
Son of a b*tch! Hey look who's here.
He volunteered to mow your lawn.
No, i didn't.
Hi, anthony.
That time of year again.
I brought you the last of my sweet corn.
Well, what's the matter, you alright? Anthony, be a good boy, huh? Wait outside, i need to talk to your father.
I'm telling you right now, if this is about old man bacala, i don't wann a f*ckin' hear it.
I have cancer.
You have what? Cancer the big casino.
Jesus christ, when 'd you find this out? Blood in my stool.
I had my first test the day before your mother's funeral.
That's why you been actin' so f*ckin' weird? Is it, what is it, where is it? Is it in your colon, or my stomach.
Jesus christ, uncle jun'.
Did they say how bad? They won't know 'til they open me up.
I go in in two weeks.
This has to stay between us, anthony.
Yeah, of course.
Look, we'll get you help, we'll get you the best there is.
First jackie with cancer, then febby.
Old man bacala had it, but, now you'll get me help? These things come in threes.
Is that why you didn't want the old man to make the hit? What'd you think, if he died of cancer, he was gonna take your place? I asked you not to make him do it.
Ah, jesus christ, un- f*ckin'- believable.
I'm serious, anthony, what i said.
Promise me that you'll dummy up about this.
Yeah, alright.
You're sick, people look at you different, they treat you like a f*ckin' non- entity.
I'm not kidding.
You can't talk about this with anybody.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Of course.
Hello? Uncle jun's got cancer.
A lotta death ma seems like yesterday , pop and emphysema.
Uncle jun', another toothpick.
Hey, jan, a little respect.
I'm sorry, it's just what ma used to say.
Yeah, that's right.
She said it about her own brother, remember? Another toothpick jesus what was he, like 36 years old, uncle mickey.
Liver cancer.
Jesus, these old timers, i guess the more hard- ass their attitude, the more they coul d suppress their feelings.
I think it's the illusion of control.
Control? You say the most horrible shit you can think of in the face of tragedy, it's like saying to god,"see? "You don't fool me, assh*le.
I know what you're planning.
" Yeah, like they're try ing to ward off some evil or some shit.
Remember how ma, she hated compliments? Giving'em or taking'em.
'Cause then, maybe, at any minute, boom.
I've really been coming to know christ.
Ma, febby, uncle jun', always comes in threes, huh? And, then, there's the holy trinity.
You think that's a coincidence? What happened to sal bonpensiero, ton'? Witness protection.
Would you like to pray with me? Two weeks ago? Why didn't you say anything? Did you report it at least? To who, the rent- a- cops? Campus security's a joke.
Well, don't you think they should know they have a thief preying on the school? Who? What are you talking about? Nothing.
Her bike was stolen from outside the library two weeks ago.
The ten speed? Did yo u lock it up? They used bolt cutters.
Some black guy from the neighborhood.
One of the other kids saw him.
What? Did i say anything? A black guy.
Imagine that.
Tony it's just, you kno w, i can't believe it.
I am not listening to this shit.
Why don't yo u admit it? You're thinkin' exactl y what i'm thinkin'.
Tony, what did i say? What, is it my fault you're twice as likely to be robbed by a black? That is so f*cking r*cist! It happens to be a fact.
From who, david duke? Why are they talking about this in the basement? Try the fbi, i saw it on tv.
Oh, so now you're quoting the fbi.
I don't think they're in the basement.
But, the lamp.
That's right, it's on battery back up.
Why? For your information, crime is an economic issue, not a racial one.
White or african- american, you're mor e likely to steal if you're in a lower income bracket, which most african- americans are.
Good, then you'll feel better when the next one takes your car stereo.
You are such a hypocrite! This is what i been trying to tell you all along.
You stay with your own people! Wait a second, where are you going where that lamp? I'm taking it.
The halogen nana gave me gives me a headache.
Hey, don't chang e the g*dd*mn subject, both of you! I'm out of here.
Be sure to call me when you need some money! Good, now you got something you can rat me o ut about in therapy! 'Madonn, this place! You only retire once.
Is that an earring? Huh? Your ear, i never noticed before.
This? I've had thi s for years.
I don't wear it all the time.
Chris tell ya we had a little run- in? He's just jealous.
Of what? We're friends.
You know how he is.
I'm glad he didn't make you cancel tonight.
He don't know about tonight, he thinks i'm with cindy.
I'm gonna miss you, ade.
Oh, i'm gonna miss you too, artie.
Charmaine, the busboys.
Charmaine what's wrong? Charmaine and me , we're gonna try it apart for a little while.
Oh, my god, artie, are you okay? The kids? It's f or the best.
Hey, did i tell you? I'm gonna go int o business with tony.
What, like a restaurant? Satriale foods.
Probably gonna cha nge the name to vesuvio.
Sauce, taral, ravioli.
That's great, congratulations.
You change your mi nd about the marriage, there's always room on my staff for a bright, sexy, vice president.
It's a big step, marriage.
You sure you're ready? Yeah, i'm sure.
You know where the ladies room is? Yeah, i think it's, i think it's behind the bar.
Okay no, no.
The plate is hot.
Restaurants, stores, slips for luxury yachts we'll go with my plumbing and electrical unions.
The steel, the brick work, it's all yours.
We need to hav e a conversation about local 187.
You gotta come by the office, see the scale model.
The guy even made little people walking on the street! f*ckin' newark! They got little hooker s giving little blow jobs.
I gotta go take a leak.
So, i got a call from eddie voehl, at the pba.
Your friend, the cop? He's bitching about losing his overtime.
He's got some black officers' squad looking into his case.
Oh, yeah? If you want, i can get it squashed, get him reassigned.
You know what? f*ck him.
c*cksucker got what he deserved.
Yes? The tony soprano wiretap has been neutralized.
What do you mean? Hello? In here.
What are you doing , you're not ready? I'm not going.
They gave yo u permission.
I can't, i'm not up to it.
It's my father's funeral, junior.
You hear me, i don't feel up to snuff.
You look okay to me.
Junior! What's the matter, didn't you get the arrangement i sent? My whole family's in the car.
I gotta tell you, junior, i take this as a personal insult.
What do you think, i don't give a shit? What am i supposed to think? You selfish f*ck, i can't go because i'm sick.
I have cancer.
Cancer? Oh, my god.
Real wisenheimer, now how do you feel? Two weeks, i go in for the surgery, and they'll probably start me on the chemo after that.
Junior, i'm sorry.
I don't know what to say.
Yeah, yeah, alright.
I'll say a prayer for your old man.
My fathe r, now you what the f uck is happening? You'll miss the boat.
Lady, i missed the boat a long time age.
Including tax and delivery, it comes to $897.
23.
Just make sure it gets to my house in one piece.
Come on