05x30 - Gag Reel

[bunniefuu]

Toby. Yeah?

Could you write down the name of that rehabilitation clinic you mentioned?

Wow. Yeah.

I'm impressed, though. That's quick.

What does any of this say?

Well, hello, everybody!

Oh, come on!

Hello, everybody!

Oh, man!

Sorry. We're gonna be here for six hours.

I tried to do some research once.

Mose and I rented a movie about a Latino wedding planner with a big, fat ass!

Mose and I rented a movie about a Latino wedding planner with a big, fat ass.

I tried to do some research once.

No, I know nothing about wedding planning.

I tried to do some research once.

Mose and I rented a movie about a Latino wedding planner with enormous...

This is what we did the last time. Here we go.

Well, it's someone's fault.

Well, no, it's not.

It's not anybody's fault. You know what?

Let's just look at the lines, and then we'll do the scene again.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You're insane. You are insane. I know!

You didn't even get to any of our dialogue. That's great!

Phyllis, did I or did I not say fruit?

You did say fruit, Michael. And what is that?

Cake. And what did I say?

Fruit?

I'm sorry.

She thinks it's funny? Is this funny to you, Phyllis?

She's nervous. Yeah.

Well, she should be nervous, because I'm about to kick her ass.

I'm gonna walk in again.

Now we all think you're a liar.

Well, would a liar bring mini Mounds bars?

I'm sorry.

Bye, Stanley.

Bitch.

What did you call me?

We're gonna need a signal to bolt out of there at the slightest sign of danger.

Okay. Okay, and that signal is lick your lips.

Let me see.

No, no, no. Like this.

Oh, no! Oh, dude! I'm so sorry!

Oh,!

Oh, . I'm so sorry, dude. It's okay.

This is Dijon, right?

Come on. Phyllis, come on. Oh, Jesus! Are you all right?

Phyllis, are you all right? Are you okay?

I'm okay.

Don't! Don't you even keep that in there!

Oh, my God!

I think I'm gonna need some new pants.

Hey!

Wow!

You broke it!

You broke it.

Oh, man, this bit will never work.

Wow!

And this copier is working fine.

That's the original. Well...

Could not have made a better noise.

Guys, everybody stay still.

We're having an earthquake. Get it on the DVD extra.

Yeah, rolling. Rolling on the earthquake. Rolling.

Roll on the earthquake. Keep rolling.

I'm so glad I told you all. So, the train's going through Scranton.

We just wanted to say we're very sorry.

Screw you, guys. You're dead to me.

If you say "screw you" one more time... Screw you, beet farmer.

Whoa! Okay, guys.

I did that face you like.

If you say "screw you" one more time... Screw you, beet farmer.

Hey, guys!

Stop doing that. Yeah.

It makes no sense.

If you say "screw you" one more time... Screw you, beet farmer.

Hey, guys, just cool it.

You knew. You knew that. What was that?

I did not!

Basically... The dynamics of...

All right. Basically... Within the workplace...

Oh.

There's always a theme, idiot.

About the tickets, I know I told everybody, but...

Oh, no, no, no. No.

What are you laughing about?

We're acting.

I'm sorry. That was so good.

And then you put it on a wheel and spin it, and then you make it into the cup and you glaze it, put it in the kiln, and...

Yeah, I bought that in a gift shop, though.

David Wallace's office.

Hey, there, gorgeous. How you doing today?

I'm good, thank you.

How's it hanging?

All right.

Listen, my name...

Sorry, sorry.

You know what? Things... Things, I guess, aren't so bad after all.

Okay.

You...

You either break off your engagement with that singing buffoon, apologize, and then date me, or you can say goodbye to this!

I think...

Phyllis, we gave you one hell of a wedding shower.

It was a golden shower, Phyllis.

We all gave you a golden...

We all came in this room for your wedding and gave you a golden...

We all came in here and gave you a golden shower.

Well, where's my golden shower?

I'm gonna try to get to bed by 8:00.

8:00?

Yeah. Oh, okay.

I love you anyway.

I love you, too.

Hello! Hi, Jim! You're so close!

Ooh! Vikram! Best salesman I ever met in my life.

What's his last name?

I wanna say Shee-shee-poo-poo. I know that's not it.

He works at the telemarketing place.

Shoo-noo-la-la. It's not it, but he worked at that...

Shee-da-doo-poo. I know that's not it, but he worked at that...

I just... I feel like some of these directions to Schrute Farms are a little weird.

I mean, like, "156 paces from the light, red mailbox, make a left. Walk until you hear the beehive and make a right."

"If you are att*cked by territorial crows..."

I had... This is a really...

"If you smell bear pee, turn the other way."

I...

"If you smell bear pee at any point, abort. Wait in your car for further instructions."

Okay, what's the problem exactly?

So, Jan, you went to a sperm bank?

Yes, I did.

I've donated sperm.

Oh.

Maybe I'm the father.

Well, this is a highly exclusive establishment.

Next to the IHOP?

You can just let me know personally if you'd like her to have a brother or sister.

Don't worry.

I have no moisture left in my body.

Water, please.

I'm all right. I'm all right. You okay?

What did you do, huh?

What did you do? Dwight?

What? What happened? She's laughing?

What did you do?

This is crazy!

This is... Hey. Hey!

What did you do?

Krasinski: Come on, here we go. I'm...

Hey!

I'm gonna go back to work. Okay.

Sorry. Sorry.

Oh, God.

Okay? I'm just gonna go back to work.

I'm just gonna head back to work. Okay. Okay.

You're not even trying now.

I am trying.

Just give us a look, looking like you've just seen the spillage, and then a look. Give us a look to the camera.

There it is.

I wanted you to like me.

I do.

Well, let's go, then.

Cut!

You think kids in Africa have chairs and copiers?

No, they sit on big piles of garbage!

And how do they make copies?

Congrats, man. Thanks. Thanks, man.

That was so weird.

I can't accept these prices, Stanley. They just cut our budget.

Brought you guys some coffee.

Stanley, I know you have adult-onset diabetes.

So, it's something you're struggling with, so I used...

Are you out of your damn mind?

You could have burned down the whole building.

David, you seem chagrined, so I suggest...

I'm glad you broke, 'cause I was about to.

Michael sure is a character, yeah.

But this yoga teacher I met...

"Teacha"?

Can take the girl out of Queens...

You know, I hate disappointing even one person.

And I really hate disappointing everyone.

But I love Burlington Coat Factory.

There is no way that Gay Mike and Broccoli Rob are having a better wedding than me.

Mose.

Sorry.

This indemnifies fruit farms from any possible lawsuit.

Hi.

My doctor wants me to gain weight.

Okay, is that a medical doctor or is he a pediatrician?

We're talking a real...

Oh, God!

What happened?

I was having a nightmare. Oh, my God!

We'll try that again.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

KGB. KGB...

We will ask the questions!

Ding-dong. Who is it?

KGB.

Get the door.

KGB. Knock, knock!

Knock, knock! Ding-dong!

Secret Service!

It's gonna be the happiest day of my life.