05x10 - Chuck Versus Bo
Posted: 01/15/12 09:42
Chuck: Hi, I'm Chuck. Here are a few things that you might need to know.
Morgan: The Intersect made me a total jerk.
Not that it was completely the Intersect's fault.
I mean, it just kind of brought out my inner jerk.
Don't scuff it, all right, Cabbage Patch?
I am really sorry for what I did to Alex.
Chuck: This whole thing has gotten me thinking about our... our lives, our future.
Is the spy lifestyle really where we want to be raising our kids?
Jeff; This is what I think our coworkers are really up to.
Lester: You think they're spies?
Jeff: I knew it! Lester...
♪
Morgan: Okay.
For the record, I love this.
This is the most fun you and I have had together in quite some time.
Casey: Yeah.
Morgan: We should make more time for us.
(sighs) Anyway, I still don't get it-- I don't see how this is going to make them forget that they found Castle.
Casey: X-13 gas.
Short-term memory eraser.
They'll forget the last 24 hours.
Morgan: Oh, right. Gotcha.
They come to, think they tied one on in Vegas, boom, they're back to normal.
Or whatever normal was for these guys.
Casey: Yeah. Right. (grunts)
Morgan: Pop this right here. (laughing): Watch this.
Casey: Ah, that's not professional.
Morgan: Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good.
Good?
(banging)
(footsteps)
♪
(sighs)
Sarah; I want to quit spying
Chuck: Wow. Wow.
Okay.
Chuck: Okay, let's, uh... let's talk about that.
Sarah: Look, I-I... I've been up all night, and I... I've been thinking about our futures and, you know, maybe babies.
Chuck: Oof. Yeah.
Sarah: And I want all of that, but the more I think about it, I just don't know if that future goes with the life that we're living right now.
I mean, both of us have been captured more than once.
Every day, we make a new dangerous enemy.
And I just ran to the front door with a g*n because I heard the newspaper being delivered.
Chuck: Yeah, parents can't be sh**ting the paperboy.
Sarah: Look, I'm a spy, and that's all I ever thought that I could be, but I realized that we don't have to give up what we've already built.
We can just shift what Carmichael Industries does.
Chuck; Okay, shift it to what?
Sarah: Countering cyberterrorism.
It's your tech firm idea, but more spied up-- so we keep your computer know-how and mix it with my experience in international bad guy-ery.
Chuck; So we go after bad guys who use keyboards instead of b*ll*ts.
Sarah; Which means we don't have to use b*ll*ts, either.
Chuck: I mean, the timing of it does kind of feel right.
We've got nothing left hanging.
Sarah: No new missions.
No wrongs to right.
Chuck: Let's do it.
Sarah: Now, how do we pitch the idea to Casey?
Morgan: Well, I love it.
Okay? You know how I feel about b*ll*ts, which is to say negatively, okay?
This is fantastic.
Casey: Where do I fit in? What am I, chief Googler?
Sarah: Well, actually, you'd be doing a lot of the same stuff that you already do.
Chuck: Yeah, I mean, we're still going to need field ops to recover stolen systems and breaching companies' security to find their weak spots.
(groans)
Morgan: Plus, wouldn't it be lovely not to get shot at?
Chuck: Exactly.
Aren't you sick of being shot at?
Sarah; Or getting shot?
I mean, you get shot a lot.
Casey: Not considering how much I get shot at.
Chuck: Mm.
Sarah: Mm.
Morgan: Okay. Think about Alex.
Do you know how happy she will be, knowing that you're not out there doing scary stuff?
(sighs)
Casey; All right, I'll think about it.
But one thing's for sure-- we go through with this, no more Buy More. We don't need a cover.
Let's kick the creepy cousin out of the family.
Morgan: Wow.
No more Buy More.
♪
Big mike: Son, this came for you.
Boy, get your fingers out of there!
Morgan: Hey.
How you doing, Big Mike?
Mike: Always a beautiful day at the Buy More.
Morgan; You really love it here, don't you?
Mike: Like a turkey loves Thanksgiving.
Morgan: You might want to rethink that one, actually, you know.
My old iPhone.
Mike: Doesn't really seem to be your style.
Morgan: No, no, yeah, this was from a few months ago.
I was kind of going through a thing.
Mike: Ah.
The frosted tips phase.
Morgan : Yeah.
Mike: Made it real hard not to smack you.
Morgan; Yeah.
Yeah, I can imagine.
Oh.
Lord.
Chuck... Chuck, if you're getting this, something has gone terribly wrong.
I was... I was getting my party on, having a great time.
Okay, this dude comes up to me with this pair of Intersect glasses, and he grabs me.
I kick his ass.
No prob, as per yooszh.
I grab the glasses, and I stash them.
Dude, I stash them in a vault.
But, like I was saying, I have been partying my freaking face off, so I'm a little discombobulated.
Which is an amazing word.
So, if this guy catches up to me, want you to know something.
I know that you know that you love me.
Tell the world of my glory.
But above... above all, you find those glasses.
You find them. Aah!
Huh.
Chuck; Morgan, what is this, and where were you?
Morgan: I don't know, Chuck. I don't know.
Between the Intersect mind-melting and, clearly, copious amounts of booze, it's all a blank.
Thank God I bought that label maker you all made fun of, because at least I got the phone back.
Sarah: So there's a stolen Intersect out there somewhere.
Casey: Guess we're not retired after all, huh?
Sarah; Well, it doesn't change the plan.
It just means we have one last mission.
Morgan; Why would she...
Chuck; No! -
Casey: Come on, Walker.
Sarah; What?
Chuck: Things never turn out well when you say "one last mission. "
Sarah; Is this just because of some stupid movie?
Chuck: Yes.
Morgan ; Yes.
Casey: You never say "one last mission. "
Come on.
Chuck: Never.
♪ Chuck 5x10 ♪
Chuck Versus Bo
Original Air Date on January 13, 2012
♪
(tires screeching)
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
(whimpers)
Morgan: Yeah, I was... I was so cool back then.
Chuck: Uh, counterpoint.
Are you wearing a fake dreadlock ski hat?
Morgan: Really? Is that...
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was.
Sarah; Look at the dates on these phone calls.
It's when you were working for Verbanski.
And look at these text messages.
There's a name-- "BD. "
Does that jog your memory?
Morgan: Negative.
No, what does BD say?
Casey: "Where'd you go? "
Chuck: All right, well, maybe send BD a message.
If they were with you the night you found the glasses, then maybe we can get a clue.
Morgan: Okay.
Uh...
"Sorry, disappeared.
Chuck: What's up? "
Morgan; No, I was a little more douchey than that.
Uh, "Wassup? " You know, with a bunch of S's?
Chuck ; Sure.
And in the meantime, let's try and find a way to help you remember something.
Ellie; What is it exactly that you two think I do for a living?
Morgan: Brain science.
Chuck: I mean, didn't you learn how to hypnotize people at school to get at lost memories?
Ellie; Yeah, in psychotherapy class, but that was years ago.
(sighs)
Fine. Okay.
Morgan: Thank you.
Chuck: Thank you.
Morgan: Okay, I really hope this works.
I'm a little skeptical, 'cause...
I don't think this brain can be hypnotized.
It's like a fortress.
Ellie; So, focus.
Look at the pen.
Deep breaths.
Morgan; Mm-hmm.
Ellie: Breathe.
Morgan.
(bird screeching)
♪
Lester: Ow.
Sweet mother of all that is holy.
Ow.
Ow.
Dude, what happened?
Where are we?
Jeff: I don't... I don't know.
Lester: You're wearing a Vegas hat.
We must have gone to Vegas... and stole a car.
Yeah, we must have just partied too hard, and now...
Ow.
Jeff: A woman gave us her underpants?
Breathe on me.
(exhales)
There's no alcohol on your breath.
Just gefilte fish curry, like always.
Lester: Really?
Jeff: Lester, something really weird is up.
Lester:Yeah, last... last thing I remember is that there's something going on underneath the Buy More.
Yeah, that's right-- with Bartowski and Grimes and Casey and that whorey blonde.
Jeff: We've got to get to the bottom of this.
Lester: You're right.
And we're going to do that by sticking to those fools like the stink on my breath.
Now, to the Buy More.
Careful.
Careful.
Jeff: Light traffic day.
Morgan: Yeah.
Chuck: I think Morgan might really be hypnotized in there.
Sarah: Great. Hey, hey, look, I've been looking at, uh, some new possible office spaces.
Above ground. We could have windows.
(sighs)
Chuck; If we ever get there.
Sarah: What do you mean?
Chuck; It just seems like no matter what, the Intersect keeps finding me.
I keep trying to break free, and the very thing that started this keeps hooking us back in.
Sarah: Chuck, we're going to finish this.
And we're going to move on, I promise you.
(sighs)
Hey, Casey, you want to see your new office space?
Casey: No, 'cause we ain't out yet.
Sarah; Even if it belonged to a little someone named Ronald Wilson Reagan?
Casey; Seriously?
The Gipper?
Ellie: Hey, guys, I got something.
Morgan keeps repeating the phrases "emerald and gold" and the number "ten. "
Sarah: "Emerald and gold, " what does that mean?
Ellie: I don't know. I tried to push him a little further, but I think I got a little too aggressive.
Morgan: You are so hot.
You're so hot.
And if you went to prom with me, I would be the stokedest guy in high school.
Ellie: I think I took him back too far.
Chuck: It's possible.
Ellie; Okay, Morgan, let's undo this.
Look at the pen.
Morgan: I don't know how to look at anything but you.
You're so beautiful.
Wow. Hey, I didn't say anything stupid while I was under, did I?
Chuck (chuckles) No. No-no-no.
You get a return text yet?
(chuckles) No. No-no-no.
Dale: Uh, are you the manager?
I want to return this blender.
Morgan : Yeah, sure, I'll take care of that for you.
Do you have a receipt?
Dale: Let me check.
Are you in a serious relationship?
Morgan: Excuse me?
Dale; I just want to know if you're in a serious relationship right now.
Chuck; I'll call you back.
Morgan: Uh, I actually am, yeah. Anyway, back to the blender...
Dale: Do you love her?
Morgan: That's a really personal question for a blender return.
Alex: Dale, I told you to stop bothering me.
Morgan, I am so, so sorry.
Morgan: Yeah, no, sure.
Um, who's Dale?
Alex: He's just a guy I went out with a few times when we broke up. He's nobody.
Dale; Really.
Nobody?
Oh, so I guess it was nobody that-- wait, how did you put it? Filled your body with rainbows?
Morgan: Oh... (coughs)
Please tell me he's talking about finger painting, all right?
Because I don't even understand how that even works.
Alex: Morgan, please, there's nothing between us, okay?
I was just hurt, and I was missing you, and so I acted out a little physically.
Morgan: You acted out physically?
Oh, I think I'm going to be sick.
Dale: There were rainbows.
(phone ringing)
Alex: I love him, Dale. So just stop coming here.
Morgan: I... I got my text.
Thank God.
Morgan: Let's talk later, you and I, okay?
Lester: There he is.
Casey: Dale.
Dale : Hey, John.
Casey: What?
You're the one that pulled the text message breakup.
Chuck; Alex, always great to see you.
Dale, store credit only.
Morgan: Oh.
Dale: We never hugged.
Alex: Are you kidding me?
Dale: Sorry.
Lester: Where are they? We lost them, we lost them!
Morgan: She acted out physically? !
Sarah: Morgan, I know this is hard, but you did dump her via text.
Morgan:,I know, the whole text thing.
: I know I shouldn't be mad, but I am.
You want to know why?
Because I was true blue, baby, that's right.
While she was out there gallivanting all over town, spreading her filthy rainbows to every Tom, d*ck and Harry, I stayed strong, dude. I did.
You know what, I need to know every detail.
Every little morsel I got to find out.
Chuck: Buddy, buddy, I know you're upset, but I don't think knowing all the gory rainbowed details is going to make you feel any better about it.
Right, boss.
Sarah: Guys, look.
There's a Golden Peak Resort in Vail, Colorado, and...
Look, here. It's a Michael Carmichael registered the night in question.
Chuck: Hey, looks like that's our ski town.
All right, kids, let's pack up.
Chuck: Morgan, sadly you're going to need to look the way you did that weekend, so do you still have any more of that hair bleach and your Affliction T-shirt?
Morgan; Who would know?
Why... ? Yes.
Chuck; Great, let's go.
♪
Sarah: Looks like all of Vail is here.
Hope BD is, too.
Casey: Any of this triggering a memory, Grimes?
Morgan: Nope, nothing yet.
You two better love each other.
It's sickening the amount of meaningless physical encounters that happen nowadays.
Woman: Morgan?
Morgan; Bo Derek!
Chuck: BD?
BD is Bo Derek?
Casey: Wow.
BD: Thought I'd never see you again, lover.
Morgan: Hello, Bo Derek's tongue.
Wow.
Chuck: Wow.
Casey: Wow.
Sarah: Morgan, you need to stay with it.
We need to find out everything she knows, okay?
Bo: I thought for sure I'd hear from you sooner. Bad boy.
Sarah: You're the guy who made out with Bo Derek, so act like it.
Morgan: Yeah, I know. That's just bad boy stuff.
That's just how I roll.
Chuck: Hi, Bo Derek. I'm Chuck.
My name is Chuck.
Really big, big fan.
Just loved Ten just so, so much.
Morgan: We really do.
BD: Yeah, I know what you did with that poster.
Chuck: Oh, no, no, no. I-- I wouldn't...
Sarah; Ew.
Chuck: Not that I didn't love the poster as a boy.
How do you know my friend here?
BD: I don't like to kiss and tell, but your friend rocked my world one magical night in November.
( Both) Chuck: Seriously? Morgan: Seriously?
Sarah: Seriously?
Casey: Seriously?
Bo: No, I'll never forget that... that evening.
Morgan: But, um, How did I got about that-- the rocking?
Bo; Words would ruin it, but, uh, there were definitely rainbows involved.
Morgan : There's that... Check that out, there were rainbows.
Casey;,I guess Alex wasn't the only one with secrets, huh?
Morgan: Bo, what exactly happened that evening?
Because I'm a little fuzzy, you know, with all the gluggity, gluggity, gluggity.
Bo: You were a bit out of hand.
Come on, I'll show you.
Morgan; I'm always out of hand.
Bo: Remember this?
Chuck: Oh, seems like a lot of people might know what you did that night.
Bo: He was telling everyone who would listen, how he'd saved the world that day.
You're such a funny bunny.
Morgan: (chuckles) I am.
What else did I mention?
You know, because I lost something and I'm trying to retrace my steps.
Chuck: Yeah, what did Funny Bunny do when he left the bar?
Bo: He came to my room.
Sarah: Morgan, maybe the vault that the glasses are in is a safe in Bo Derek's room.
You need to get up there now.
Morgan: I have a girlfriend.
Casey: Yeah? Well, you should have remembered that two months ago.
Now get to work.
Lester: They're looking for a vault. Write that down.
We are not forgetting anything this time.
Morgan: Man, this brings back some memories.
Speaking of which, you're not still staying in that room are you?
Because if you are-- oh, boy, ding, ding, ding, round two.
Bo: Come on.
Morgan: Yeah.
Chuck: Oh, have fun, tiger.
Morgan: You know I will.
Chuck: Mmm.
Bo; You remember this?
Morgan: Yes, yes, I do. Who could forget this?
Hey, now.
Okay. Incidentally, Bo Derek, is this where the rainbows happened?
I'm curious only because they've been coming up a lot lately, and I would love to know specifically what makes them happen? What is the trigger, you know.
Bo: I'll show you.
Morgan: Yeah, cool. Can't wait.
Taking off my pants now, Chuck.
Chuck: Oh, dude, Bo Derek is taking your pants off.
Just go with it, okay? Ask her to tell you more about that night.
Morgan: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Hey, so, um, you know what I would lov-love, love? !
Totally love, Bo Derek, is, um...
Tell me the story about our night together.
Bo: Oh, okay.
Morgan; Mm-hmm.
Bo: But only if you tell me exactly what you've done since I was with you last.
Morgan: Deal, lover.
Bo: So I first noticed you when you were getting a lap dance from that dirty whore Jaclyn Smith.
Bartender: And that was when he got the whole bar singing "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, " unironically.
Sarah: Right, so he didn't tell you anything else about his night?
Bartender: He got me pretty wasted.
I woke up the next morning behind the bar in a puddle of Rumplemintz.
Bo: And then we played the funniest game, where you hid and I found you, and then I hid and you found me.
Morgan: (chuckling): Oh, man, so fun.
Casey: Well, all I've been able to dig up is what we already know.
Grimes was an ass.
Sarah: Yeah, I'm getting the same thing.
Sarah: Hey, Chuck, how's it going with Bo?
Have you had any sneak peeks of your childhood crush's boobies?
Chuck; What? No.
Shut up.
Casey; (clearing throat) We have a situation.
Sarah: Oh, you are kidding me.
How did they track us here?
Casey: This is what you get when you fly commercial.
I'll take care of it.
Sarah: Copy.
Snowboarder employee: Hey, were you just asking about Morgan Grimes?
Sarah: Uh, yes.
Snowboarder employee: Ha, ha, ha. That dude's hilarious.
I gave him the most wacked tattoo ever.
Sarah: You gave him a tattoo?
(phone buzzing)
Chuck: Tattoo.
Morgan, I need you out here ASAP.
Be careful.
Morgan: You know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to get us a little fresh ice.
What do you think about that?
Bo; Okay.
Morgan: Yeah. Bo: Hurry back.
No problem, okay.
Bo: And bring back a couple extra cubes for play time.
(chuckles)
Casey; You two.
Lester: Do whatever you want. We know what's going on here.
We're not, we're not going to forget.
Casey; I disagree.
Lester: What is that? That smells nice.
Casey: Doesn't it?
Morgan: That woman is into me.
And I'm really scared that whatever is going to take place in there is going to be way worse than whatever acting out Alex did.
Plus we were broken up, so technically...
Chuck: Buddy, buddy, you have a tattoo.
Morgan: No, I do not.
What? Aw!
What are you... ?
Chuck: Don't trust Bo Derek.
That's what your tattoo says.
Come on, she must be involved with the Intersect theft.
(g*n cocking)
Bo: Not the strangest place a man has tattooed my name.
Now take me to the glasses.
Chuck: I'm just going to go out and say it-- you're no longer a perfect 10.
Bo; I know you remember something.
My backup is on the way And you do not want to know what they will do...
Sarah; Sorry, I had to do that to your girlfriend.
Chuck: Oh... You didn't hit her in the face, did you?
I'm kidding. But it is Bo Derek.
Okay.
(birds screeching)
Lester: Ow. Sweet mother of all that is holy.
Ow.
Ow!
Dude, what happened? Where are we?
I don't... I don't know.
You're wearing a Vegas hat.
We must've gone to Vegas.
Yeah, stole a car.
Must have just partied too hard, and now... Ow!
Jeff: A woman gave us her underpants?
Breathe on me.
(exhales)
There's no alcohol on your breath.
Just gefilte fish curry like always.
Lester: Last thing I remember was that there was something going on underneath the Buy More.
Jeff: Wait. We left ourselves a clue.
"Bo Derek"?
Chuck: So...
Bo...
Bo Derek... tell me about your night with Morgan, and this time for real.
Morgan: Yes, please.
And how Bo Derek got involved with the Intersect.
Bo: Listen, acting isn't the only gig I got because of my looks and my capacity to make believe.
Chuck: Are you trying to say that Bo Derek is a spy?
Bo: My boss had gotten word someone was running around the intelligence community, bragging that he was the Intersect.
So we were already on the lookout for him when he surfaced so publicly one night in Vail.
Morgan: Publicly? Ah, I doubt that.
Pretty sure I was keeping a low profile.
Who wants to party with the freaking Intersect? !
(all cheer)
Whoo!
I am the most powerful w*apon in the world!
Whoo!
Whoo!
♪
(door opens)
♪
(speaking Portuguese)
(chuckles) You, maybe.
You, uh...
Ooh...
Hello...
Hey, baby, you're gonna hate him!
Morgan; Oh, man...
That was real?
And a follow-up question: If that was real, were the rainbows real?
(laughs)
Bo; It meant nothing.
It was only physical.
Morgan: What is it with women and this "only phys... "?
Chuck: Morgan!
Uh, if you don't mind, what happened next?
Bo: Then I drugged you and called my boss.
Quinn: So this is what they put the Intersect into these days.
What are you, an intern?
Morgan: Hmm? You take that back.
You take that back 'cause this Intersect... this Intersect can almost focus on your stupid face, and when I do...
Quinn: Shut up. Morgan Grimes-- aka Morgan Carmichael-- which is ridiculous.
Bo; You're not the only one with the Intersect, honey bunny.
Quinn: I spent a lot of time and money getting these glasses.
I haven't used them yet because I hear there are side effects.
Well, you seem fine.
Morgan: Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine. It's you.
You made an enormous mistake telling me all this.
See your men here? Done, finished.
I'm gonna take them out.
And then I'm gonna hunt you down, and I'm gonna arrest you for treason.
Quinn: I don't think so, 'cause you're not gonna remember any of this.
X-13.
As soon as you fall asleep, the last 24 hours of your little life will (snaps fingers) just disappear.
And here's how confident I am of that.
Nice to meet you.
I'm Nicholas Quinn.
And I'm about to become the Intersect.
(device whirs)
Give me the glasses!
Morgan; Sorry, Bo Derek!
Chuck: Okay, so we're looking for Nicholas Quinn.
Bo Derek's been working for him.
Casey: Bo Derek's a spy?
Chuck: I know, right?
And a talky one to boot.
Quinn's got an independent spy agency, but not like ours.
Morgan: Ooh, nothing like ours.
This guy's list of clients is gnarly. You're talking about Libyan Islamic fighting group, Kim Jong-il.
Chuck: And a couple of favorites as well, like FULCRUM, the Ring and Volkoff Industries.
Sarah: What? We've put some of his biggest clients behind bars.
Morgan:Did we get Kim Jong-il?
Casey: He's been getting screwed by the Intersect for years. No wonder he wants it.
Sarah: Okay, so the fat lip we can blame on the tattoo.
The ski jacket and the boxers we can blame on Bo Derek, but where are the glasses?
Casey: And where is this vault?
Morgan: I don't know. Guys, I don't know.
Bo Derek said that was the last she saw of me.
I wouldn't have just stashed the Intersect anywhere.
I would have put it somewhere safe.
Someplace that I knew. And that's, that's my guess, anyway.
Alex.
Oh, boy.
Okay, let me, let me deal with this.
I'll be back, uh...
I gotta come clean on a few things.
Chuck: Buddy, buddy, are you sure you want to do that? Because I think maybe we should just, you know let the past be the past.
Sarah: I agree. It doesn't seem like telling her the Bo Derek story is gonna do anything except upset her.
Yeah.
Alex: You slept with Bo Derek?
Morgan: Yeah. Maybe more than once.
I acted out physically, too.
And I, uh, I rocked Bo Derek's world.
(snorts)
Alex: Sorry. Um, Morgan... Yeah?
... Dale, he doesn't matter, okay?
You don't have to make up these stories.
Morgan : No, I'm not, I'm not lying. Are you kidding me?
No. I made rainbows sh**t out of this woman.
Lester: There's Grimes. Let's just confront him.
I know he's a part of this.
Jeff: Wait. We are being sabotaged.
Lester: Mm-hmm.
Jeff: We gotta fly under the radar, quietly keep an eye on them and record on our person anything we learn.
Lester: Great idea.
I gotta pee.
It's 3:14 p. m. Write that down.
Morgan: I think, though, it's better if neither of us knows the details of each other's rainbow-related activities.
Look, you were with Dale, I was with Bo Derek, we're even. Let's move past it now.
Alex: Okay. Okay, baby.
We are even.
Morgan: That's my girl. Okay.
(clears throat)
Mike: Son, do you have the master key?
I checked the vault, it wasn't there.
Morgan: What'd you just say?
Mike: The key.
I checked the manager's vault.
Any ideas?
(men shouting, g*nshots)
Morgan: Sweet lady Buy More.
Emerald and gold.
(snaps fingers)
Big Mike, is there a Buy More in Vail?
Chuck: Yep, there's a Buy More in Vail, and they had a break-in that night. Look.
Morgan: Of course, I knew it, I knew I put it somewhere familiar.
It's in a manager's vault in Vail!
Sarah; Looks like all roads lead to the Buy More.
Casey: I'm never getting out of this place.
Chuck: Wow, the Vail Buy More.
Casey: Lot of broken limbs on these morons.
Sarah: I think you can only work here if you've broken something skiing.
Buy more employee: Grimes! Remember me, buddy?
Morgan: Yeah...
Buymore employee: Ha-ha, sweet! I just tweeted you were back in town.
Beers tonight to celebrate, brah!
Morgan: Oh, yeah, sweet!
Sarah: He tweeted you're back in town?
If Quinn has been waiting for us to come back and search, then...
We gotta hurry.
Casey: I fricking hate Twitter.
Chuck: Hello. Excuse me, Miss... ter.
Uh, we're security specialists with Carmichael Industries. Corporate sent us to check out the recent break-in.
Indian woman: Bored of you. Talk to Big Michelle.
Chuck; Right.
Big michelle: Our security is rock-solid.
I don't understand why Corporate felt we needed to be checked up on.
Sarah; This isn't any sort of criticism on your store.
We just want to do a proper check for your safety.
Chuck: Now, if you could first take us to the manager's vault for a look-see.
(sighs) Oh, man...
Sarah: How's a nice security check feel, Casey?
This is about as extreme as it will get in our new job.
Nice, easy-peasy last mission.
Casey; Well, it ain't over. Keep your guard up.
Big Michelle: I just don't understand why no one told me you were coming.
I'm gonna have to call and get the go-ahead before I open the vault, obviously.
Chuck: Well, so much for her helping us open the vault.
Looks like we're gonna do some safecracking today.
Morgan: Yeah, well, hold on a second.
Maybe not.
Let me try something real quick here.
One, two, three, four... boom.
(blipping)
Casey: Seriously.
Morgan: I was too lazy to change the code in Burbank, too.
One thing you can always count on: Buy More laziness.
Oh, no.
Morgan: Where else could they be?
Maybe somebody moved them.
Like, maybe the person who is currently knocked out cold.
Chuck: The place is hopping right now.
This is the new expansion pack for Gunz 'n Gold.
The vault...
Could it be?
A display copy.
(laughs)
Sarah: Okay, well, nice work, Morgan.
Let's go. Let's get out of here.
Let's go.
Lester: J'accuse!
You people are spies!
Jeff: And we are not going to forget it, because it is right here on my arm.
Lester: Yeah! What he said!
(a*t*matic g*nf*re, people screaming)
Quinn: Everybody out!
Charles Carmichael.
First guy who got it instead of me.
Chuck: What are you talking about?
Quinn: I'm former CIA, too.
The Intersect was supposed to be mine.
But then Larkin stole it for you, so I went back out in the field, and I got captured. (laughs)
Oh, and tortured... in a hole the ground, for 378 days.
In a hole!
I was the best.
And then I was broken.
Dismissed.
And all because the Intersect wasn't mine.
Morgan: You don't want it, Quinn.
You do not want it. Trust me.
It doesn't work right, okay?
I lost memories, important movies, a bunch of stuff.
Chuck: He's right. He's right.
Listen, you don't want to trust me.
Nothing good can come from it.
(laughing)
Quinn: Take a good look at your wife.
You think you'd get that without the Intersect?
I tried to win without it.
I... I tried.
Now give it to me!
Lester: Jeffrey... run!
Chuck:,Nice shot!
(gasps)
Jeff: Thank you.
Chuck: No, no, Casey-- Casey, wait.
Quinn didn't get the Intersect. We did it!
We took down his team.
Okay, let's call Beckman.
Call the authorities.
Tell them where he is.
But... let's be done.
Can't we just be done?
We survived our last mission.
Let's leave behind the Intersect and everyone involved with it, and be done.
Casey: Okay.
We're done.
Sarah: Okay. I'll call Beckman.
Lester: Whoa!
I'm not done. No, I am not done.
I would like very much to forget everything-- everything that I saw here today.
Sarah: Here we go again.
Jeff: I'm scarred.
Lester: Aw, buddy.
Jeff: So scarred.
Chuck: Sorry, Casey.
Looks like we can't kick the creepy cousin out of the family just yet.
(exhaling)
Jeff: I knew it-- there's no alcohol on your breath.
It's just gefilte fish curry, like always.
I believe we've been set up.
Lester: And what's all this?
Jeff: Huh.
We must've gotten to the bottom of it, then.
Lester: Guess we were wrong.
Jeff: That's kind of disappointing.
So now what do we do?
(car approaching)
Mike: Hey, boys.
Morgan told me you might've gotten stranded.
Lester: Yeah, apparently, we did.
Mike: Cheer up!
I brought turkey BLT Subway footlongs.
Lester: From the Fresh Fit menu?
Mike: Yep. Watching my weight.
Jeff: How many you have?
Mike: Only two.
Also, I had a thought.
Lester: Mm-hmm.
Mike: We're already halfway to Vegas... Mm-hmm. and Bologna's doing some Native American feelings workshop about her period all weekend.
Lester: Ew. But are you saying... ?
All: Vegas, baby!
♪
(phone ringing)
Chuck: Sarah?
Sarah: Hey. Did I wake you?
Chuck: No, it's... I mean, yeah, but it's okay.
Where are you so early?
Sarah: I'm sorry, I-I couldn't sleep.
I'm just, uh, I'm so excited about starting everything.
I made an appointment at noon to check out some of these new office spaces, and I thought that we could get Casey and Morgan together and, um... have a little ceremony.
You know, pop some champagne and toast to our futures, and, uh... destroy the Intersect glasses.
I, um, I-I think that's the right end to this.
Chuck: Yeah. That sounds perfect.
Turns out saying "last mission" wasn't a jinx after all, huh?
Sarah: I love you, Chuck.
Chuck: I love you, too, babe. Good-bye.
Sarah: Bye.
Quinn: Never let the bad guy get away.
(phone ringing)
Sarah: Hey.
Quinn: I have your husband.
Bring the Intersect to the San Pedro docks, Pier 23, 2100 hours, or he dies. (click)
Sarah: Casey, where is everyone?
You got anything?
Sarah: Casey, hold your fire. They've got Chuck.
Sarah Walker, put the glasses down.
Sarah: You show me Chuck first.
Situation's changed.
He'll be needed. Now put the glasses down on the ground in front of you.
Sarah: It was a trap! Where is he?
Casey: I don't know! We gotta get out of here!
Sarah: Casey, you got an exit?
Casey: No!
No, not from here.
(grunts)
Sarah: What's our next move?
Casey: I've got one clip left.
(panting)
Walker, no!
Don't do it!
Sarah: Okay, I got this.
Morgan: The Intersect made me a total jerk.
Not that it was completely the Intersect's fault.
I mean, it just kind of brought out my inner jerk.
Don't scuff it, all right, Cabbage Patch?
I am really sorry for what I did to Alex.
Chuck: This whole thing has gotten me thinking about our... our lives, our future.
Is the spy lifestyle really where we want to be raising our kids?
Jeff; This is what I think our coworkers are really up to.
Lester: You think they're spies?
Jeff: I knew it! Lester...
♪
Morgan: Okay.
For the record, I love this.
This is the most fun you and I have had together in quite some time.
Casey: Yeah.
Morgan: We should make more time for us.
(sighs) Anyway, I still don't get it-- I don't see how this is going to make them forget that they found Castle.
Casey: X-13 gas.
Short-term memory eraser.
They'll forget the last 24 hours.
Morgan: Oh, right. Gotcha.
They come to, think they tied one on in Vegas, boom, they're back to normal.
Or whatever normal was for these guys.
Casey: Yeah. Right. (grunts)
Morgan: Pop this right here. (laughing): Watch this.
Casey: Ah, that's not professional.
Morgan: Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good.
Good?
(banging)
(footsteps)
♪
(sighs)
Sarah; I want to quit spying
Chuck: Wow. Wow.
Okay.
Chuck: Okay, let's, uh... let's talk about that.
Sarah: Look, I-I... I've been up all night, and I... I've been thinking about our futures and, you know, maybe babies.
Chuck: Oof. Yeah.
Sarah: And I want all of that, but the more I think about it, I just don't know if that future goes with the life that we're living right now.
I mean, both of us have been captured more than once.
Every day, we make a new dangerous enemy.
And I just ran to the front door with a g*n because I heard the newspaper being delivered.
Chuck: Yeah, parents can't be sh**ting the paperboy.
Sarah: Look, I'm a spy, and that's all I ever thought that I could be, but I realized that we don't have to give up what we've already built.
We can just shift what Carmichael Industries does.
Chuck; Okay, shift it to what?
Sarah: Countering cyberterrorism.
It's your tech firm idea, but more spied up-- so we keep your computer know-how and mix it with my experience in international bad guy-ery.
Chuck; So we go after bad guys who use keyboards instead of b*ll*ts.
Sarah; Which means we don't have to use b*ll*ts, either.
Chuck: I mean, the timing of it does kind of feel right.
We've got nothing left hanging.
Sarah: No new missions.
No wrongs to right.
Chuck: Let's do it.
Sarah: Now, how do we pitch the idea to Casey?
Morgan: Well, I love it.
Okay? You know how I feel about b*ll*ts, which is to say negatively, okay?
This is fantastic.
Casey: Where do I fit in? What am I, chief Googler?
Sarah: Well, actually, you'd be doing a lot of the same stuff that you already do.
Chuck: Yeah, I mean, we're still going to need field ops to recover stolen systems and breaching companies' security to find their weak spots.
(groans)
Morgan: Plus, wouldn't it be lovely not to get shot at?
Chuck: Exactly.
Aren't you sick of being shot at?
Sarah; Or getting shot?
I mean, you get shot a lot.
Casey: Not considering how much I get shot at.
Chuck: Mm.
Sarah: Mm.
Morgan: Okay. Think about Alex.
Do you know how happy she will be, knowing that you're not out there doing scary stuff?
(sighs)
Casey; All right, I'll think about it.
But one thing's for sure-- we go through with this, no more Buy More. We don't need a cover.
Let's kick the creepy cousin out of the family.
Morgan: Wow.
No more Buy More.
♪
Big mike: Son, this came for you.
Boy, get your fingers out of there!
Morgan: Hey.
How you doing, Big Mike?
Mike: Always a beautiful day at the Buy More.
Morgan; You really love it here, don't you?
Mike: Like a turkey loves Thanksgiving.
Morgan: You might want to rethink that one, actually, you know.
My old iPhone.
Mike: Doesn't really seem to be your style.
Morgan: No, no, yeah, this was from a few months ago.
I was kind of going through a thing.
Mike: Ah.
The frosted tips phase.
Morgan : Yeah.
Mike: Made it real hard not to smack you.
Morgan; Yeah.
Yeah, I can imagine.
Oh.
Lord.
Chuck... Chuck, if you're getting this, something has gone terribly wrong.
I was... I was getting my party on, having a great time.
Okay, this dude comes up to me with this pair of Intersect glasses, and he grabs me.
I kick his ass.
No prob, as per yooszh.
I grab the glasses, and I stash them.
Dude, I stash them in a vault.
But, like I was saying, I have been partying my freaking face off, so I'm a little discombobulated.
Which is an amazing word.
So, if this guy catches up to me, want you to know something.
I know that you know that you love me.
Tell the world of my glory.
But above... above all, you find those glasses.
You find them. Aah!
Huh.
Chuck; Morgan, what is this, and where were you?
Morgan: I don't know, Chuck. I don't know.
Between the Intersect mind-melting and, clearly, copious amounts of booze, it's all a blank.
Thank God I bought that label maker you all made fun of, because at least I got the phone back.
Sarah: So there's a stolen Intersect out there somewhere.
Casey: Guess we're not retired after all, huh?
Sarah; Well, it doesn't change the plan.
It just means we have one last mission.
Morgan; Why would she...
Chuck; No! -
Casey: Come on, Walker.
Sarah; What?
Chuck: Things never turn out well when you say "one last mission. "
Sarah; Is this just because of some stupid movie?
Chuck: Yes.
Morgan ; Yes.
Casey: You never say "one last mission. "
Come on.
Chuck: Never.
♪ Chuck 5x10 ♪
Chuck Versus Bo
Original Air Date on January 13, 2012
♪
(tires screeching)
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
(whimpers)
Morgan: Yeah, I was... I was so cool back then.
Chuck: Uh, counterpoint.
Are you wearing a fake dreadlock ski hat?
Morgan: Really? Is that...
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was.
Sarah; Look at the dates on these phone calls.
It's when you were working for Verbanski.
And look at these text messages.
There's a name-- "BD. "
Does that jog your memory?
Morgan: Negative.
No, what does BD say?
Casey: "Where'd you go? "
Chuck: All right, well, maybe send BD a message.
If they were with you the night you found the glasses, then maybe we can get a clue.
Morgan: Okay.
Uh...
"Sorry, disappeared.
Chuck: What's up? "
Morgan; No, I was a little more douchey than that.
Uh, "Wassup? " You know, with a bunch of S's?
Chuck ; Sure.
And in the meantime, let's try and find a way to help you remember something.
Ellie; What is it exactly that you two think I do for a living?
Morgan: Brain science.
Chuck: I mean, didn't you learn how to hypnotize people at school to get at lost memories?
Ellie; Yeah, in psychotherapy class, but that was years ago.
(sighs)
Fine. Okay.
Morgan: Thank you.
Chuck: Thank you.
Morgan: Okay, I really hope this works.
I'm a little skeptical, 'cause...
I don't think this brain can be hypnotized.
It's like a fortress.
Ellie; So, focus.
Look at the pen.
Deep breaths.
Morgan; Mm-hmm.
Ellie: Breathe.
Morgan.
(bird screeching)
♪
Lester: Ow.
Sweet mother of all that is holy.
Ow.
Ow.
Dude, what happened?
Where are we?
Jeff: I don't... I don't know.
Lester: You're wearing a Vegas hat.
We must have gone to Vegas... and stole a car.
Yeah, we must have just partied too hard, and now...
Ow.
Jeff: A woman gave us her underpants?
Breathe on me.
(exhales)
There's no alcohol on your breath.
Just gefilte fish curry, like always.
Lester: Really?
Jeff: Lester, something really weird is up.
Lester:Yeah, last... last thing I remember is that there's something going on underneath the Buy More.
Yeah, that's right-- with Bartowski and Grimes and Casey and that whorey blonde.
Jeff: We've got to get to the bottom of this.
Lester: You're right.
And we're going to do that by sticking to those fools like the stink on my breath.
Now, to the Buy More.
Careful.
Careful.
Jeff: Light traffic day.
Morgan: Yeah.
Chuck: I think Morgan might really be hypnotized in there.
Sarah: Great. Hey, hey, look, I've been looking at, uh, some new possible office spaces.
Above ground. We could have windows.
(sighs)
Chuck; If we ever get there.
Sarah: What do you mean?
Chuck; It just seems like no matter what, the Intersect keeps finding me.
I keep trying to break free, and the very thing that started this keeps hooking us back in.
Sarah: Chuck, we're going to finish this.
And we're going to move on, I promise you.
(sighs)
Hey, Casey, you want to see your new office space?
Casey: No, 'cause we ain't out yet.
Sarah; Even if it belonged to a little someone named Ronald Wilson Reagan?
Casey; Seriously?
The Gipper?
Ellie: Hey, guys, I got something.
Morgan keeps repeating the phrases "emerald and gold" and the number "ten. "
Sarah: "Emerald and gold, " what does that mean?
Ellie: I don't know. I tried to push him a little further, but I think I got a little too aggressive.
Morgan: You are so hot.
You're so hot.
And if you went to prom with me, I would be the stokedest guy in high school.
Ellie: I think I took him back too far.
Chuck: It's possible.
Ellie; Okay, Morgan, let's undo this.
Look at the pen.
Morgan: I don't know how to look at anything but you.
You're so beautiful.
Wow. Hey, I didn't say anything stupid while I was under, did I?
Chuck (chuckles) No. No-no-no.
You get a return text yet?
(chuckles) No. No-no-no.
Dale: Uh, are you the manager?
I want to return this blender.
Morgan : Yeah, sure, I'll take care of that for you.
Do you have a receipt?
Dale: Let me check.
Are you in a serious relationship?
Morgan: Excuse me?
Dale; I just want to know if you're in a serious relationship right now.
Chuck; I'll call you back.
Morgan: Uh, I actually am, yeah. Anyway, back to the blender...
Dale: Do you love her?
Morgan: That's a really personal question for a blender return.
Alex: Dale, I told you to stop bothering me.
Morgan, I am so, so sorry.
Morgan: Yeah, no, sure.
Um, who's Dale?
Alex: He's just a guy I went out with a few times when we broke up. He's nobody.
Dale; Really.
Nobody?
Oh, so I guess it was nobody that-- wait, how did you put it? Filled your body with rainbows?
Morgan: Oh... (coughs)
Please tell me he's talking about finger painting, all right?
Because I don't even understand how that even works.
Alex: Morgan, please, there's nothing between us, okay?
I was just hurt, and I was missing you, and so I acted out a little physically.
Morgan: You acted out physically?
Oh, I think I'm going to be sick.
Dale: There were rainbows.
(phone ringing)
Alex: I love him, Dale. So just stop coming here.
Morgan: I... I got my text.
Thank God.
Morgan: Let's talk later, you and I, okay?
Lester: There he is.
Casey: Dale.
Dale : Hey, John.
Casey: What?
You're the one that pulled the text message breakup.
Chuck; Alex, always great to see you.
Dale, store credit only.
Morgan: Oh.
Dale: We never hugged.
Alex: Are you kidding me?
Dale: Sorry.
Lester: Where are they? We lost them, we lost them!
Morgan: She acted out physically? !
Sarah: Morgan, I know this is hard, but you did dump her via text.
Morgan:,I know, the whole text thing.
: I know I shouldn't be mad, but I am.
You want to know why?
Because I was true blue, baby, that's right.
While she was out there gallivanting all over town, spreading her filthy rainbows to every Tom, d*ck and Harry, I stayed strong, dude. I did.
You know what, I need to know every detail.
Every little morsel I got to find out.
Chuck: Buddy, buddy, I know you're upset, but I don't think knowing all the gory rainbowed details is going to make you feel any better about it.
Right, boss.
Sarah: Guys, look.
There's a Golden Peak Resort in Vail, Colorado, and...
Look, here. It's a Michael Carmichael registered the night in question.
Chuck: Hey, looks like that's our ski town.
All right, kids, let's pack up.
Chuck: Morgan, sadly you're going to need to look the way you did that weekend, so do you still have any more of that hair bleach and your Affliction T-shirt?
Morgan; Who would know?
Why... ? Yes.
Chuck; Great, let's go.
♪
Sarah: Looks like all of Vail is here.
Hope BD is, too.
Casey: Any of this triggering a memory, Grimes?
Morgan: Nope, nothing yet.
You two better love each other.
It's sickening the amount of meaningless physical encounters that happen nowadays.
Woman: Morgan?
Morgan; Bo Derek!
Chuck: BD?
BD is Bo Derek?
Casey: Wow.
BD: Thought I'd never see you again, lover.
Morgan: Hello, Bo Derek's tongue.
Wow.
Chuck: Wow.
Casey: Wow.
Sarah: Morgan, you need to stay with it.
We need to find out everything she knows, okay?
Bo: I thought for sure I'd hear from you sooner. Bad boy.
Sarah: You're the guy who made out with Bo Derek, so act like it.
Morgan: Yeah, I know. That's just bad boy stuff.
That's just how I roll.
Chuck: Hi, Bo Derek. I'm Chuck.
My name is Chuck.
Really big, big fan.
Just loved Ten just so, so much.
Morgan: We really do.
BD: Yeah, I know what you did with that poster.
Chuck: Oh, no, no, no. I-- I wouldn't...
Sarah; Ew.
Chuck: Not that I didn't love the poster as a boy.
How do you know my friend here?
BD: I don't like to kiss and tell, but your friend rocked my world one magical night in November.
( Both) Chuck: Seriously? Morgan: Seriously?
Sarah: Seriously?
Casey: Seriously?
Bo: No, I'll never forget that... that evening.
Morgan: But, um, How did I got about that-- the rocking?
Bo; Words would ruin it, but, uh, there were definitely rainbows involved.
Morgan : There's that... Check that out, there were rainbows.
Casey;,I guess Alex wasn't the only one with secrets, huh?
Morgan: Bo, what exactly happened that evening?
Because I'm a little fuzzy, you know, with all the gluggity, gluggity, gluggity.
Bo: You were a bit out of hand.
Come on, I'll show you.
Morgan; I'm always out of hand.
Bo: Remember this?
Chuck: Oh, seems like a lot of people might know what you did that night.
Bo: He was telling everyone who would listen, how he'd saved the world that day.
You're such a funny bunny.
Morgan: (chuckles) I am.
What else did I mention?
You know, because I lost something and I'm trying to retrace my steps.
Chuck: Yeah, what did Funny Bunny do when he left the bar?
Bo: He came to my room.
Sarah: Morgan, maybe the vault that the glasses are in is a safe in Bo Derek's room.
You need to get up there now.
Morgan: I have a girlfriend.
Casey: Yeah? Well, you should have remembered that two months ago.
Now get to work.
Lester: They're looking for a vault. Write that down.
We are not forgetting anything this time.
Morgan: Man, this brings back some memories.
Speaking of which, you're not still staying in that room are you?
Because if you are-- oh, boy, ding, ding, ding, round two.
Bo: Come on.
Morgan: Yeah.
Chuck: Oh, have fun, tiger.
Morgan: You know I will.
Chuck: Mmm.
Bo; You remember this?
Morgan: Yes, yes, I do. Who could forget this?
Hey, now.
Okay. Incidentally, Bo Derek, is this where the rainbows happened?
I'm curious only because they've been coming up a lot lately, and I would love to know specifically what makes them happen? What is the trigger, you know.
Bo: I'll show you.
Morgan: Yeah, cool. Can't wait.
Taking off my pants now, Chuck.
Chuck: Oh, dude, Bo Derek is taking your pants off.
Just go with it, okay? Ask her to tell you more about that night.
Morgan: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Hey, so, um, you know what I would lov-love, love? !
Totally love, Bo Derek, is, um...
Tell me the story about our night together.
Bo: Oh, okay.
Morgan; Mm-hmm.
Bo: But only if you tell me exactly what you've done since I was with you last.
Morgan: Deal, lover.
Bo: So I first noticed you when you were getting a lap dance from that dirty whore Jaclyn Smith.
Bartender: And that was when he got the whole bar singing "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, " unironically.
Sarah: Right, so he didn't tell you anything else about his night?
Bartender: He got me pretty wasted.
I woke up the next morning behind the bar in a puddle of Rumplemintz.
Bo: And then we played the funniest game, where you hid and I found you, and then I hid and you found me.
Morgan: (chuckling): Oh, man, so fun.
Casey: Well, all I've been able to dig up is what we already know.
Grimes was an ass.
Sarah: Yeah, I'm getting the same thing.
Sarah: Hey, Chuck, how's it going with Bo?
Have you had any sneak peeks of your childhood crush's boobies?
Chuck; What? No.
Shut up.
Casey; (clearing throat) We have a situation.
Sarah: Oh, you are kidding me.
How did they track us here?
Casey: This is what you get when you fly commercial.
I'll take care of it.
Sarah: Copy.
Snowboarder employee: Hey, were you just asking about Morgan Grimes?
Sarah: Uh, yes.
Snowboarder employee: Ha, ha, ha. That dude's hilarious.
I gave him the most wacked tattoo ever.
Sarah: You gave him a tattoo?
(phone buzzing)
Chuck: Tattoo.
Morgan, I need you out here ASAP.
Be careful.
Morgan: You know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to get us a little fresh ice.
What do you think about that?
Bo; Okay.
Morgan: Yeah. Bo: Hurry back.
No problem, okay.
Bo: And bring back a couple extra cubes for play time.
(chuckles)
Casey; You two.
Lester: Do whatever you want. We know what's going on here.
We're not, we're not going to forget.
Casey; I disagree.
Lester: What is that? That smells nice.
Casey: Doesn't it?
Morgan: That woman is into me.
And I'm really scared that whatever is going to take place in there is going to be way worse than whatever acting out Alex did.
Plus we were broken up, so technically...
Chuck: Buddy, buddy, you have a tattoo.
Morgan: No, I do not.
What? Aw!
What are you... ?
Chuck: Don't trust Bo Derek.
That's what your tattoo says.
Come on, she must be involved with the Intersect theft.
(g*n cocking)
Bo: Not the strangest place a man has tattooed my name.
Now take me to the glasses.
Chuck: I'm just going to go out and say it-- you're no longer a perfect 10.
Bo; I know you remember something.
My backup is on the way And you do not want to know what they will do...
Sarah; Sorry, I had to do that to your girlfriend.
Chuck: Oh... You didn't hit her in the face, did you?
I'm kidding. But it is Bo Derek.
Okay.
(birds screeching)
Lester: Ow. Sweet mother of all that is holy.
Ow.
Ow!
Dude, what happened? Where are we?
I don't... I don't know.
You're wearing a Vegas hat.
We must've gone to Vegas.
Yeah, stole a car.
Must have just partied too hard, and now... Ow!
Jeff: A woman gave us her underpants?
Breathe on me.
(exhales)
There's no alcohol on your breath.
Just gefilte fish curry like always.
Lester: Last thing I remember was that there was something going on underneath the Buy More.
Jeff: Wait. We left ourselves a clue.
"Bo Derek"?
Chuck: So...
Bo...
Bo Derek... tell me about your night with Morgan, and this time for real.
Morgan: Yes, please.
And how Bo Derek got involved with the Intersect.
Bo: Listen, acting isn't the only gig I got because of my looks and my capacity to make believe.
Chuck: Are you trying to say that Bo Derek is a spy?
Bo: My boss had gotten word someone was running around the intelligence community, bragging that he was the Intersect.
So we were already on the lookout for him when he surfaced so publicly one night in Vail.
Morgan: Publicly? Ah, I doubt that.
Pretty sure I was keeping a low profile.
Who wants to party with the freaking Intersect? !
(all cheer)
Whoo!
I am the most powerful w*apon in the world!
Whoo!
Whoo!
♪
(door opens)
♪
(speaking Portuguese)
(chuckles) You, maybe.
You, uh...
Ooh...
Hello...
Hey, baby, you're gonna hate him!
Morgan; Oh, man...
That was real?
And a follow-up question: If that was real, were the rainbows real?
(laughs)
Bo; It meant nothing.
It was only physical.
Morgan: What is it with women and this "only phys... "?
Chuck: Morgan!
Uh, if you don't mind, what happened next?
Bo: Then I drugged you and called my boss.
Quinn: So this is what they put the Intersect into these days.
What are you, an intern?
Morgan: Hmm? You take that back.
You take that back 'cause this Intersect... this Intersect can almost focus on your stupid face, and when I do...
Quinn: Shut up. Morgan Grimes-- aka Morgan Carmichael-- which is ridiculous.
Bo; You're not the only one with the Intersect, honey bunny.
Quinn: I spent a lot of time and money getting these glasses.
I haven't used them yet because I hear there are side effects.
Well, you seem fine.
Morgan: Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine. It's you.
You made an enormous mistake telling me all this.
See your men here? Done, finished.
I'm gonna take them out.
And then I'm gonna hunt you down, and I'm gonna arrest you for treason.
Quinn: I don't think so, 'cause you're not gonna remember any of this.
X-13.
As soon as you fall asleep, the last 24 hours of your little life will (snaps fingers) just disappear.
And here's how confident I am of that.
Nice to meet you.
I'm Nicholas Quinn.
And I'm about to become the Intersect.
(device whirs)
Give me the glasses!
Morgan; Sorry, Bo Derek!
Chuck: Okay, so we're looking for Nicholas Quinn.
Bo Derek's been working for him.
Casey: Bo Derek's a spy?
Chuck: I know, right?
And a talky one to boot.
Quinn's got an independent spy agency, but not like ours.
Morgan: Ooh, nothing like ours.
This guy's list of clients is gnarly. You're talking about Libyan Islamic fighting group, Kim Jong-il.
Chuck: And a couple of favorites as well, like FULCRUM, the Ring and Volkoff Industries.
Sarah: What? We've put some of his biggest clients behind bars.
Morgan:Did we get Kim Jong-il?
Casey: He's been getting screwed by the Intersect for years. No wonder he wants it.
Sarah: Okay, so the fat lip we can blame on the tattoo.
The ski jacket and the boxers we can blame on Bo Derek, but where are the glasses?
Casey: And where is this vault?
Morgan: I don't know. Guys, I don't know.
Bo Derek said that was the last she saw of me.
I wouldn't have just stashed the Intersect anywhere.
I would have put it somewhere safe.
Someplace that I knew. And that's, that's my guess, anyway.
Alex.
Oh, boy.
Okay, let me, let me deal with this.
I'll be back, uh...
I gotta come clean on a few things.
Chuck: Buddy, buddy, are you sure you want to do that? Because I think maybe we should just, you know let the past be the past.
Sarah: I agree. It doesn't seem like telling her the Bo Derek story is gonna do anything except upset her.
Yeah.
Alex: You slept with Bo Derek?
Morgan: Yeah. Maybe more than once.
I acted out physically, too.
And I, uh, I rocked Bo Derek's world.
(snorts)
Alex: Sorry. Um, Morgan... Yeah?
... Dale, he doesn't matter, okay?
You don't have to make up these stories.
Morgan : No, I'm not, I'm not lying. Are you kidding me?
No. I made rainbows sh**t out of this woman.
Lester: There's Grimes. Let's just confront him.
I know he's a part of this.
Jeff: Wait. We are being sabotaged.
Lester: Mm-hmm.
Jeff: We gotta fly under the radar, quietly keep an eye on them and record on our person anything we learn.
Lester: Great idea.
I gotta pee.
It's 3:14 p. m. Write that down.
Morgan: I think, though, it's better if neither of us knows the details of each other's rainbow-related activities.
Look, you were with Dale, I was with Bo Derek, we're even. Let's move past it now.
Alex: Okay. Okay, baby.
We are even.
Morgan: That's my girl. Okay.
(clears throat)
Mike: Son, do you have the master key?
I checked the vault, it wasn't there.
Morgan: What'd you just say?
Mike: The key.
I checked the manager's vault.
Any ideas?
(men shouting, g*nshots)
Morgan: Sweet lady Buy More.
Emerald and gold.
(snaps fingers)
Big Mike, is there a Buy More in Vail?
Chuck: Yep, there's a Buy More in Vail, and they had a break-in that night. Look.
Morgan: Of course, I knew it, I knew I put it somewhere familiar.
It's in a manager's vault in Vail!
Sarah; Looks like all roads lead to the Buy More.
Casey: I'm never getting out of this place.
Chuck: Wow, the Vail Buy More.
Casey: Lot of broken limbs on these morons.
Sarah: I think you can only work here if you've broken something skiing.
Buy more employee: Grimes! Remember me, buddy?
Morgan: Yeah...
Buymore employee: Ha-ha, sweet! I just tweeted you were back in town.
Beers tonight to celebrate, brah!
Morgan: Oh, yeah, sweet!
Sarah: He tweeted you're back in town?
If Quinn has been waiting for us to come back and search, then...
We gotta hurry.
Casey: I fricking hate Twitter.
Chuck: Hello. Excuse me, Miss... ter.
Uh, we're security specialists with Carmichael Industries. Corporate sent us to check out the recent break-in.
Indian woman: Bored of you. Talk to Big Michelle.
Chuck; Right.
Big michelle: Our security is rock-solid.
I don't understand why Corporate felt we needed to be checked up on.
Sarah; This isn't any sort of criticism on your store.
We just want to do a proper check for your safety.
Chuck: Now, if you could first take us to the manager's vault for a look-see.
(sighs) Oh, man...
Sarah: How's a nice security check feel, Casey?
This is about as extreme as it will get in our new job.
Nice, easy-peasy last mission.
Casey; Well, it ain't over. Keep your guard up.
Big Michelle: I just don't understand why no one told me you were coming.
I'm gonna have to call and get the go-ahead before I open the vault, obviously.
Chuck: Well, so much for her helping us open the vault.
Looks like we're gonna do some safecracking today.
Morgan: Yeah, well, hold on a second.
Maybe not.
Let me try something real quick here.
One, two, three, four... boom.
(blipping)
Casey: Seriously.
Morgan: I was too lazy to change the code in Burbank, too.
One thing you can always count on: Buy More laziness.
Oh, no.
Morgan: Where else could they be?
Maybe somebody moved them.
Like, maybe the person who is currently knocked out cold.
Chuck: The place is hopping right now.
This is the new expansion pack for Gunz 'n Gold.
The vault...
Could it be?
A display copy.
(laughs)
Sarah: Okay, well, nice work, Morgan.
Let's go. Let's get out of here.
Let's go.
Lester: J'accuse!
You people are spies!
Jeff: And we are not going to forget it, because it is right here on my arm.
Lester: Yeah! What he said!
(a*t*matic g*nf*re, people screaming)
Quinn: Everybody out!
Charles Carmichael.
First guy who got it instead of me.
Chuck: What are you talking about?
Quinn: I'm former CIA, too.
The Intersect was supposed to be mine.
But then Larkin stole it for you, so I went back out in the field, and I got captured. (laughs)
Oh, and tortured... in a hole the ground, for 378 days.
In a hole!
I was the best.
And then I was broken.
Dismissed.
And all because the Intersect wasn't mine.
Morgan: You don't want it, Quinn.
You do not want it. Trust me.
It doesn't work right, okay?
I lost memories, important movies, a bunch of stuff.
Chuck: He's right. He's right.
Listen, you don't want to trust me.
Nothing good can come from it.
(laughing)
Quinn: Take a good look at your wife.
You think you'd get that without the Intersect?
I tried to win without it.
I... I tried.
Now give it to me!
Lester: Jeffrey... run!
Chuck:,Nice shot!
(gasps)
Jeff: Thank you.
Chuck: No, no, Casey-- Casey, wait.
Quinn didn't get the Intersect. We did it!
We took down his team.
Okay, let's call Beckman.
Call the authorities.
Tell them where he is.
But... let's be done.
Can't we just be done?
We survived our last mission.
Let's leave behind the Intersect and everyone involved with it, and be done.
Casey: Okay.
We're done.
Sarah: Okay. I'll call Beckman.
Lester: Whoa!
I'm not done. No, I am not done.
I would like very much to forget everything-- everything that I saw here today.
Sarah: Here we go again.
Jeff: I'm scarred.
Lester: Aw, buddy.
Jeff: So scarred.
Chuck: Sorry, Casey.
Looks like we can't kick the creepy cousin out of the family just yet.
(exhaling)
Jeff: I knew it-- there's no alcohol on your breath.
It's just gefilte fish curry, like always.
I believe we've been set up.
Lester: And what's all this?
Jeff: Huh.
We must've gotten to the bottom of it, then.
Lester: Guess we were wrong.
Jeff: That's kind of disappointing.
So now what do we do?
(car approaching)
Mike: Hey, boys.
Morgan told me you might've gotten stranded.
Lester: Yeah, apparently, we did.
Mike: Cheer up!
I brought turkey BLT Subway footlongs.
Lester: From the Fresh Fit menu?
Mike: Yep. Watching my weight.
Jeff: How many you have?
Mike: Only two.
Also, I had a thought.
Lester: Mm-hmm.
Mike: We're already halfway to Vegas... Mm-hmm. and Bologna's doing some Native American feelings workshop about her period all weekend.
Lester: Ew. But are you saying... ?
All: Vegas, baby!
♪
(phone ringing)
Chuck: Sarah?
Sarah: Hey. Did I wake you?
Chuck: No, it's... I mean, yeah, but it's okay.
Where are you so early?
Sarah: I'm sorry, I-I couldn't sleep.
I'm just, uh, I'm so excited about starting everything.
I made an appointment at noon to check out some of these new office spaces, and I thought that we could get Casey and Morgan together and, um... have a little ceremony.
You know, pop some champagne and toast to our futures, and, uh... destroy the Intersect glasses.
I, um, I-I think that's the right end to this.
Chuck: Yeah. That sounds perfect.
Turns out saying "last mission" wasn't a jinx after all, huh?
Sarah: I love you, Chuck.
Chuck: I love you, too, babe. Good-bye.
Sarah: Bye.
Quinn: Never let the bad guy get away.
(phone ringing)
Sarah: Hey.
Quinn: I have your husband.
Bring the Intersect to the San Pedro docks, Pier 23, 2100 hours, or he dies. (click)
Sarah: Casey, where is everyone?
You got anything?
Sarah: Casey, hold your fire. They've got Chuck.
Sarah Walker, put the glasses down.
Sarah: You show me Chuck first.
Situation's changed.
He'll be needed. Now put the glasses down on the ground in front of you.
Sarah: It was a trap! Where is he?
Casey: I don't know! We gotta get out of here!
Sarah: Casey, you got an exit?
Casey: No!
No, not from here.
(grunts)
Sarah: What's our next move?
Casey: I've got one clip left.
(panting)
Walker, no!
Don't do it!
Sarah: Okay, I got this.