05x01 - RuPaullywood or Bust
Posted: 04/28/24 22:08
- My next drag superstars
had one thing in common.
They were all busted...
And found guilty...
[gavel bangs]
Of being sickening...
Order in the courtroom,
hunties!
A new trial begins,
as 14 queens prove
they can dance...
[baby crying]
Act...
- Aah!
[laughter]
[laughter]
- Swim...
- Whoo!
- And sing.
- ♪ Can I get
a haaaaaaooow! ♪
- More celebrities...
- How do you tuck your junk?
- Aah!
- [laughs]
- I love this show!
- Criminal fashion...
- You look absolutely terrific.
Honestly.
- In a word, sensational.
And not a dry eye
in the house.
- I was left, nobody cared.
[cries]
- We get to choose our family,
you know?
We get to choose the people
that we're around,
you know what I'm saying?
The new season
of RuPaul's Drag Race
is in session.
And these queens...
- Look at this.
- Are k*ller.
[screams]
- Look how orange
you f*cking look, girl!
- I'm not joking, b*tch!
- Step the f*ck off!
- No, no, no, no!
- Aah!
[apocalyptic music]
- I can't wait to see
how this turns out.
- [gasps]
Holy shit, we're here.
My name is Detox,
and I am 27 years old.
I can do everything.
I act, I sing, I rap, I dance.
Let's send the rest
of these clowns home.
Where is everybody?
I've worked
with huge celebrities
like Rihanna, Kesha,
and I'm the queen bee,
so eat it up
and crown it.
You're all f*cking welcome.
- My name is Roxxxy Andrews,
and I'm 28 years old.
Mash!
Are you kidding?
[both screaming]
Me and Detox started drag
together,
and I'm just so excited
to see her.
You look gorge.
- You too.
- I am a pageant girl...
big hair, big makeup.
From head to toe,
it's a Roxxxy Andrews project.
It all begins.
- Hey, girls, hey!
- Hey!
- What's going on, pussycats?
- What's going on?
- I am Jade Jolie.
I am 25 years old.
Honey, I'm serving up fish.
Tuna on a platter.
You look gorge.
- Thank you, you too.
- Jade is bubbly.
She laughs a lot.
[giggling]
I just like to be fabulous
and fun.
[giggling]
- Well, you both are going home
really early,
just so you know.
- [laughing]
- My name is Serena ChaCha,
and I'm 21 years old.
This is the best
quinceanera present ever!
- It's your quinceanera?
- I come from an art school
environment,
and I'm interested
in fine art drag.
So this is...this is...
[overlapping chatter]
Automatically,
Detox and Roxxxy were...
[rapid gibberish]
- Whoo! Ow!
[laughing]
- It's a little off-putting,
rather annoying.
So much fun.
[cheering]
- Shut up!
- My name is Alyssa Edwards,
and I am 32 years of age.
I'm known as
the Vanessa Williams of drag,
because after winning the title
of Miss Gay America,
the crown was taken away
from me.
Girl, I am gagging.
I am here
to show people
I still got it.
I need to get up in this gear,
girl.
Let me get a look.
- [whooping]
[laughter]
- You know, I can hear the
cackling from down the street.
all: Hi!
- My name is Jinkx Monsoon.
I'm 24,
and I'm Seattle's
youngest MILF.
Hi!
- Swimsuit competition.
- I'm theatrically trained
in the Broadway
school of singing.
- Ooh!
- Okay, Detox,
with the feathers.
- I don't know
about that Jinkx yet.
She's a little kooky.
- Pfft!
- Hello, boys!
My name's Penny Tration,
and I am 39 years old.
I'm here because I was chosen
by thousands of people
in the online voting contest.
- You're the web vote?
- You guys should be happy
to know
that everybody actually
wanted me here.
[laughter]
I hope that me being voted on
the show by a lot of people
makes the other queens
really intimidated.
- Hey, y'all.
- Hello.
- Whoo!
- Ohh!
We got another one.
- My name is Vivienne Pinay.
I'm 26 years old.
- You're giving me
pinup Kat Von D doll.
- Thank you.
Vivienne is all about glamour.
My beauty is everything.
- Vivienne's cute,
but I'm cuter.
[laughs]
- Oh, my God.
- Who is it?
- [imitates horse whinny]
- Uh...
- Hi!
- Oh, shit.
- Wow.
- My name is Alaska,
and I'm 27 years old.
And I also have
a very famous boyfriend
whose name is Sharon Needles.
- Sharon's girlfriend.
Girl/boyfriends.
- Oh.
- In this competition, dating
the previous winner
is definitely uncharted
territory.
- This trash bag couture is
something else.
- Yes. It's a plastic
tablecloth.
- Alaska definitely has
big shoes to fill.
- Hey, sisters.
all: Whoa!
- My name is Honey Mahogany.
And I'm 28 years old.
How are you?
- Honey Mahogany
is like
a RuPaul Drag Race poster.
But not quite as polished.
♪ Sorry about it ♪
- I think I'm the first queen
from San Francisco, actually.
- Hello, hippie!
- People get down on
San Francisco
for being a bunch of hippies.
But there's so much beauty
there.
Have you seen Honey Mahogany?
[laughs]
- Uh-oh!
- Hey, hey, hey, ladies!
Aah!
Oh, my God!
My name is Ivy Winters.
I'm 25 years old.
- Your top is awesome.
- Thank you.
- It's so well-tailored.
- I make dresses
out of cassette tape,
paper cups, condoms.
I will figure out a way
to turn it into a costume.
And I used to work as a clown
for like eight years.
- Well, you still do.
[laughter]
- Hello, girls.
I'm Monica Beverly Hillz,
with a Z.
I'm 27.
Monica Beverly Hillz
is very good at giving face.
This might be the fishiest
season ever, darling.
- I know!
- I have been called
ghetto, banji, trashy.
I was raised in the ghetto.
You know, I'm street smart.
And there's nothing wrong
with that.
- Oh! Look at this!
- I'm Lineysha Sparx,
and I am 24 years old.
Lineysha is so fierce,
so flawless, so sparkling.
I'm very excited to be here
representing Puerto Rico, so...
Lineysha's in the house,
so watch out, b*tches.
- How many more girls?
This has to be it, right?
- This has to be it.
- Lucky 13.
- This is 13?
- Oh, boys!
The diva has arrived!
I'm Coco Montrese,
and I'm 37 years old.
[all screaming]
[dramatic chorus]
- And then walks in
Coco Montrese...
the face-crack of the century.
- Oh, my God!
Alyssa Edwards.
What the f*ck?
Oh, Alyssa Edwards...again.
- Here she goes.
- What's the story?
- Alyssa, you wanna tell
the story,
or you want me to tell
the story?
- There's no story.
- What's the story?
- We haven't spoke in two years.
The pageant tore our friendship
apart.
- We were close, and I feel like
I was bamboozled.
- Coco was the one
backstabbing me behind my back.
- Alyssa and I will have
our moment later together,
'cause we need a moment.
I don't think she wants to talk
about it...
but we're gonna talk about it.
If she doesn't go home first.
- "Game on, b*tch,"
the sequel.
[siren]
- Ooh, girl, you got shemail!
[cheering]
Welcome, my queens.
I told you California
was the place you oughta be.
So you tightened up your tuck
and you flew to Beverly...
Hills.
Adjacent, that is.
[laughter]
So whether you're
a fresh princess of Bel-Air,
a Malibu Barbie,
or just serving
Real Housewife realness,
to get your big break
in RuPaullywood, you need
to make an even bigger splash
and really shake things up.
Oh...oh, my goodness!
An earthquake!
Oh, my God! My hair!
Ooh!
I think it's the big one.
Ooh! Ooh, faster, faster!
Ooh!
Slower, slower, slower.
Oh!
Cut!
[sighs]
Remember, to snatch this crown,
you need to fake it
until you make it.
[cheering]
Hello, hello, hello.
[all screaming]
Welcome to RuPaul's Drag Race.
- Yes!
- Now, I chose each of you
because I see in you the raw
charisma, uniqueness, nerve,
and talent that it takes to go
all the way.
In addition to winning
the title
of America's next
drag superstar,
the champion
of RuPaul's Drag Race
will receive a lifetime supply
of Color Evolution cosmetics,
a one-of-a-kind trip
courtesy of ALandCHUCK.travel,
and headline Logo's
Outrageous Drag Race Tour,
featuring Absolut Vodka,
cocktails perfected.
And some cash money, honey.
[cheering]
Yes, child.
To the tune of $100,000.
[cheering, chatter]
- Well, I feel so excited.
It's 100,000 of dollars!
And I want to win that money.
- No more kiddin' around,
girls.
You're in the enter-taint-ment
capital of the world.
- Yes!
- And to make it in
RuPaullywood,
you've gotta dive
in the deep end.
Are you ready for your close-up?
Coming up...
[slow-motion scream]
[laughing]
[laughing]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Hi, Jade.
- Hey, Ru.
It's time for our first
photo sh**t.
I am eager to see
what the challenge is,
and I am super-nervous.
- What do you think is going on
right now?
- Um...[giggling]
I'm not sure.
- Well, turn around.
- Oh! [laughs]
Oh, my gosh.
Talk about the elephant
in the room.
Didn't see that.
[laughing]
- Now, say hello to the amazing
Mike Ruiz.
Mike is here to sh**t
your Hollywood splash photo.
What we're looking for
is underwater serving glamour.
- Like, give us fish.
- [laughs] Awesome.
- Let's do it.
- Today we're doing an homage
to old Hollywood
that's kind of a tribute
to old Esther Williams films.
- Please note that there's
no pee in the water.
- [laughing]
- All right, hit it!
- Jade Jolie,
you're soaking in it.
- Try not to look like
you're holding your breath.
Jade would inhale
a bunch of air
and would hold it all
in her cheeks like a chipmunk.
That doesn't make for
a very pretty glamour shot.
She's giving me parrot fish.
- I was giving Helen Keller
drowning realness.
[laughs]
- Ooh! Wet and wild.
Roxxxy Andrews!
Hit it.
- Acrobatic, graceful,
gorgeous face, glamour.
- Ooh, she's rolling
in the deep!
- Do it.
- On the Roxxxy with a splash.
Detox!
- Give us everything
you've got.
Yes!
It's the bumble fish.
- Aquawomana!
Oh, gorgeous!
- Gorgeous.
- Detox fell off the wagon
and into the pool.
Serena ChaCha!
The time has come for you
to sink...for your life!
- For my life.
- Uno, dos, tres!
Oops. Uh-oh.
- Oh, dear.
I can see your seafood platter!
Your paella is showing!
- At least Serena
was wearing panties.
Okay.
- Okay, there's a pole.
- Hold on to the pole.
Lookit.
It looks like frog legs.
[RuPaul laughing]
- What the f*ck
was that about, guys?
- It's not
your quinceanera anymore, is it?
- Your quinceanera is ruined!
- By a pool.
- I'm not tucked.
- Oh, you didn't tuck?
- I'm not tucked at all,
so the dress is doing this
the whole time.
- Showing all your bubblegum
and everything.
- See, you thought you were
being cutesie
by being comfortable
with your non-tuck,
and they got you together.
I'm not a fan of girls
who don't tuck.
Look like a woman.
It's female impersonation
at the end of the day.
- Deeper!
Don't be so shallow, Alyssa.
Your legs look like calamari
when you do that.
- Okay.
- Dance underwater.
Is that dress wash and wear?
- Whew!
- Careful on these
wet, slippery surfaces.
Oh!
Queen down.
- At least I did it gracefully.
- Very.
- Jinkx Monsoon, welcome to
the drag lagoon!
- I don't know how to swim.
I learned how to swim
by one of my uncles
pushing me off a log
into a river.
First time under the water,
I lost both my contacts.
I was blinded within seconds.
- Okay, you look a little scared
underwater.
- A more pretty face.
- Okay, too much splashing.
Uh-oh.
You're splashing aroun...oops.
- [gasping]
- Are you okay?
- Just a little tang...
[spits] Tangled.
- I think we're gonna
have to call it a wrap.
- Jinkx, there's got to be
a morning after.
Deeper, Penny Tration.
Girl, you're gonna put
Shelley Winters out of work.
- [laughs]
- Oh, wait a minute.
- And go.
- Yes, yes, yes!
Poseidon Adventure, darling.
- Hit it!
- Serving "Wettie" Page.
- Yes!
- Touch all of the skin.
The filet of Vivienne Pinay.
Oh, Alaska's underwater.
Damn you, global warming!
- Oh!
- Okay. Yeah, your head's not
going very deep.
- And keep your hair
out of your face.
- I can't get deep enough.
I don't know how to do it.
- Alaska...she got really
frustrated, and it showed.
Push yourself down.
Go!
No.
Nope...on your face.
- Oh!
- All right, all right.
- I can't do it.
I failed.
- We will offer you one more dip
if you wanna take it.
- I'm sorry.
That was terrible!
[laughter]
I can't believe that.
I'm in shock.
I did so bad!
I don't know how to swim.
- Oh, get that.
- I've completely blown it.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
- It's Honey Mahogany!
Honey, I sunk the kids.
Ooh! That was pretty.
Ivy Winters!
Throwing caution to the wind.
Fishy when wet.
Monica Beverly Hillz.
- Push your dress down
when you get underwater.
- You look like a jellyfish.
In the future, you should
hand-wash your woolens.
Oh...yes!
- All right!
Lineysha's body language
was so incredibly graceful
and dancerly;
it was amazing.
- Sparkle, Lineysha, sparkle!
Sorry to say, that satin will
never be the same.
Work!
Coco Montrese!
Chicken of the sea!
Serving "Tuna" Turner.
- Relax your face.
- Yes, mama.
Instant Coco...just add water.
- Okay, y'all, somebody forgot
to tell them...
- [laughs]
- That black people don't swim.
[laughter]
Thank God I'm Dominican.
- Oh.
- Y'all look cute.
- Seeing everybody de-dragging
for the very first time
is always exciting.
Detox...immediately, I'm like,
"Work done!"
- [smacking]
- Lineysha
is the Puerto Rican papi.
Oh, my gosh.
- Jinkx out of drag, uh...
Why does she have
an eye patch?
What is going on?
Oh, my God!
- I saw you sleeping earlier.
I was like, "Maybe she's just
really tired."
- I have narcolepsy.
So if I don't like stay active,
I start to slunk,
and then it's a whole big mess.
- Wait, Miss Thing.
So you fall asleep
out of nowhere?
- It's not how they do it
in the movies.
You know, like,
you can feel it coming on,
and if you're lucky, you make
your way to a sofa and...
[laughs]
- Jinkx is a special person.
- I am Seattle's premier
Jewish narcoleptic drag queen.
Thank you.
I'm not gonna make an excuse
for it.
I wear my narcolepsy
as a badge of pride.
It's something I've had to...
[snoring]
- [clears throat]
- Yes!
[all cheering]
- Thank you, Mr. Handsome.
- I know what I wanna drink.
- Hello, hello, hello!
[all cheering]
Um...who are you guys?
[laughter]
Now, Mike and I have reviewed
your photos,
and some of you were in
over your heads.
- Yes!
- But some of you took to it
like a fish to water.
- Fish!
- The one queen that surfaced
as the clear winner is...
Detox.
[all cheering]
- I was floored.
I may sit around and Kiki
with everybody,
but at the end of the day,
I'm here for one reason,
and that's to win.
- Detox, I love your photo
so much,
I'm tweeting it right now.
#RuPaullywood.
- Yeah, that's right!
- Ladies, take a moment
to unwind.
Because tomorrow,
your RuPaullywood adventure
continues with a Beverly Hills
shopping spree.
- Oh!
[cheering]
- I'm thrilled at the aspect
of going on a shopping spree.
- Let's go.
- Adios!
all: Bye!
- But I'm pretty sure
it's not gonna be
the shopping spree
that we imagine.
- Coming up...
- What's going on?
- Oh!
- Oh, my God!
- And where is my damn
shopping spree?
[all shouting]
- Wait!
- Mommy!
- [laughing]
[laughing]
- So today RuPaul
is sending us
on a exclusive tour
of RuPaullywood,
which culminates in a special
Beverly Hills shopping spree.
[horn honks]
- ♪ Stone cold city ♪
♪ Took a bite out of me ♪
♪ Love of my life ♪
♪ Said he had to leave ♪
♪ Said I love you ♪
♪ But I hate it ♪
♪ It's not for me ♪
♪ I'd rather take my chances ♪
♪ Back in Tennessee ♪
- Wait!
- ♪ Hollywood, USA ♪
♪ Hollywood, USA ♪
- I'm getting my life
on this bus.
Celebrities waving back.
Oh, my gosh, it's like a dream
come true.
- ♪ Going to be a star ♪
♪ Workin' in a bar ♪
♪ Change your name ♪
♪ To play the game ♪
♪ It all remains the same ♪
♪ Sing your song ♪
♪ You got the part ♪
♪ Don't forget your heart ♪
♪ You'll need it ♪
♪ When you reach the top ♪
♪ And you're alone in ♪
♪ Hollywood, Hollywood ♪
♪ Hollywood ♪
♪ I lost my love ♪
♪ In Hollywood ♪
♪ Hollywood ♪
♪ I lost my love ♪
♪ Hollywood ♪
[all gasping and cheering]
- Hello, ladies.
Hi!
- Who comes out the door
but Camille Grammer
from The Real Housewives.
Are you kidding me?
- Welcome to Beverly Hills.
[all cheering]
We've been expecting you.
But you can't come in here.
- Oh...
- RuPaul is waiting for you
at the VIP entrance...
that way.
- Oh!
- Over there?
- Wait. What?
- Ciao, darlings.
Mwah!
- We love you, Camille!
- [mouthing]
Call me.
- Whoo!
- So we walk around the store
to meet RuPaul.
We're looking,
and we see a gate.
- Oh!
What is this?
- We see dumpsters
and an alien from outer space.
What's going on?
And where's my damn
shopping spree?
- Girl...
[suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
- Well, hey, pretty womens.
[laughing, chatter]
Welcome to the slums
of Beverly Hills.
- Hey!
- Now, I promised you
a shopping spree, but, girl,
Beverly Hills boutiques
can be so darn...
♪ Pricey ♪
But I know where you can get
a real bargain!
These dumpsters are overflowing
with some of the most exclusive
garbage in the 90210.
For your first main challenge,
you need to create
an award-winning look
that screams "Hollywood
red carpet couture," darling.
You'll have just one minute
to dumpster dive.
And, ladies...
all sales are final.
[chuckles]
- Oh, my God.
We're dumpster diving
for materials.
Great, it's a challenge.
- Gentlemen,
start your engines,
and may the best woman win.
[rock music]
[all exclaiming, yelling]
- I'm trying to get
everything I can.
Girls pushing and prodding
and jumping on top of my head.
Ow!
That's my leg.
This is crazy, honey.
- Out of my way! Oh!
- The girl next to me
throws the lid up...
[slow-motion voices]
I won't make it out of this
competition alive.
[laughs]
- Oh! My garbage!
[overlapping chatter]
- I can't get out of here!
- Ay, damn!
Penny Tration smacked my face,
honey.
My moneymaker!
I was pissed.
Don't knock me over.
- Don't knock you over?
This pushy little queen
over here getting on my nerves!
I am not afraid
to shove my way
through the little girls...
Mommy!
And get what I need to get.
- I am gagged,
and not in the good way.
- I got a steal!
- Five-finger discount.
Mm-hmm.
- Ooh!
- All right.
Let's get to work.
- Shopping spree,
shopping spree.
No credit card involved.
We entered back
into the workroom,
and it was time to get to work.
- Whoo, girl!
- Fabulous.
- What are you wearing, Roxxxy?
- This is my makeup dress.
- Why?
- Because I take my makeup off
in it.
Oh, y'all can't take me?
Oh, y'all cannot take
my fishy daytime dress.
- Miss Alaska,
put some clothes on, please.
- First one naked!
- Tucka-tucka-tucka-tucka!
- Look at this.
- The reason she walked in
the room with a horse face...
was 'cause she is a horse.
- Talk about letting it all
hang out, darling.
- b*tch, I live for this.
- Oh, my God,
how did you get that?
- ♪ Welcome to the ♪
♪ Jungle ♪
- What is that?
- Miss Thang!
- You found that?
- She hit the jackpot!
We got the winner.
- I am happy with what I got
from the dumpster.
I found fabulous
red sequined fabric.
- Ooh, girl,
you got paillettes!
- Mister sisters over here.
- Mister sister?
- Mister sisters.
- Mister sisters?
- Mister sisters.
- It's so funny.
As soon as she pulled out
all them red paillettes,
you are now her best friend.
She's trying to take
Miss Thing's fabric.
She can't be bothered
right now.
- She got Miss Thing
to cut it up.
- What are they talking about
over there?
- Jade, be careful, girl.
- Be careful with her.
- Why you say be careful
to me, Miss Coco?
- Just be careful.
That's all I'm saying.
- Here she comes.
- Miss Jade.
Find out who your real friends
are,
and you stick by
your real friends.
- Girl, you're my real friend,
b*tch.
- I'm not saying Alyssa's not.
- You can meet your friends'
longevity, right?
'Cause we've been in
competition.
- We have been in a lot of
competitions.
- And at the end of the day,
it's like you really, truly find
who your friends are
in the end.
- Yeah. That's true.
- That's what it's about.
- So we'll talk about it later,
Alyssa.
- We don't got nothing
to talk about.
- We do have...we have a lot to
talk about.
You say you'll find out later
who your friends are.
So you and I will sit down
and talk about that.
- I wanna know what the f*ck
happened.
- When are you gonna tell me?
- Not gonna answer that.
When I'm ready.
- I'm definitely feeling
the pressure because
I floundered
in the dunk t*nk.
So hopefully, I can redeem
myself.
- Alaska's a one-trick pony
at this point,
because yet again,
she's making another dress
out of plastic bags.
- Saran Wrap?
It's red carpet, honey.
This might get you
on the bottom two.
Good luck.
- Coming up...
- I just wanted to keep it
kinda classy.
- Yeah.
There's a lot of influences
there.
- This is my plastic
evening gown.
I just see it in my brain.
- Okay.
- I hope it's couture
enough.
- [laughing]
- I need like wire cutters.
This week's main challenge
is making dumpster
red carpet couture.
- Where's some pins,
straight pins?
- I don't know.
- The workroom's really tense
at the moment,
'cause everyone's designing
their first runway look.
And it's important to make
a first impression.
- Everyone's all quiet.
That means you guys are
stressed.
- Being an artist,
I feel like the best thing
to do is just, you know,
concentrate on your concept,
chew as much as you can chew,
and you hope that whatever
you spit out comes out right.
- Serena's going very slow.
She's doing this and that,
but there's just kind of
no product being made.
And time's ticking down.
- Hello, hello, hello!
all: Hi!
- Now, is this the real
drag queens of Beverly Hills?
all: Yes!
- Yes, ma'am.
- Well, hello, Coco Montrese.
- Hi, Ru.
- Now, this outfit...
- I want to give
Debbie Reynolds...
Marilyn Monroe
meets Madonna.
I just wanted to keep it
kind of classy.
- Yeah.
Well, there's a lot of
influences there.
- I don't wanna play it safe.
One way or another,
I need to stand out.
So take it or leave it,
this is me tomorrow,
and I'm gonna turn it.
- I know that you have a history
with Alyssa.
Has it gotten in the way so far
in the competition?
- It...kinda threw me.
This Alyssa situation
is a distraction for me
right now.
And I need to put it aside
and focus on
what Coco's gonna present.
- All right, Coco.
- Thank you.
- You're taking a risk,
and I love it, so go for it.
- Thanks, Ru.
- Serena ChaCha.
- Hi, Ru.
- How long have you been
doing drag?
- For three years.
Just turned 21,
just graduated art school.
I do performance art.
- Performance art.
- Yeah.
- Now, do you sew?
- Yes, but there is
a new art movement
called soft sculpture.
It's more about creating
a sculpture
rather than just tailoring.
- Well, that sounds great
on paper,
but what does it look like?
- It looks like this.
- That scares me.
- I'm trying to do detail
first,
just like when you paint.
- There's not a lot of time
here, you know.
- A little scared about that.
- And there's not a lot of dress
over here either.
- No, it's still really abstract
right now,
but I know it's gonna
come together.
- Serena said she went
to art school.
She might want her money back.
- I'm just surprised that
you're so calm and collected,
you know?
There's a lot of experienced
queens here
who are a little further along
in their execution
of their couture outfit.
- All I have to do is come up
with a whole
performative aspect for my
dress, and I'm totally calm.
I know this is gonna work out.
I totally do.
- Well, listen, I know you got
a lot of work to do here.
I can tell.
- I do.
- So get back to it.
- Okay, I will.
Thank you, Ru, I appreciate it.
- All right.
Roxxxy Andrews!
- RuPaul!
- Look at you, girl!
- Girl, I'm rushing.
- Do you sew?
- I do sew.
You know, losing weight
when I was a kid,
you know, I had to take
a lot of my clothes in
'cause we didn't have
a lot of money.
- Now, have you recently lost
a lot of weight?
- I did lose.
I've lost like 70 pounds.
- 70 pounds?
- 70 pounds.
- And how has that affected
the way you dress
and the way you feel?
- Well, girl, now I show
a little more body
than I used to be able to.
I used to be in eight corsets,
ten girdles and not being able
to breathe.
I used to be a big-ger girl.
But I still consider myself
a girl
who's got a little meat
on her bones.
And whether you're juicy, fat,
whatever,
embrace what you got
and work with it.
- You're not a big girl.
You're a thick girl.
- I'm a thick...I'm juicy.
- Oh, okay!
All right, I'm down with that.
- Right?
- Listen, I'm gonna let you get
back to work here.
- Thank you, Ru.
- Thank you.
Penny Tration!
- RuPaul!
- Hi!
You are our fan favorite.
The fans chose you.
- I know.
Which is amazing to me.
I now have a true respect
for politicians.
All the begging and the pleading
and the votes.
- So tell me what you're doing.
The silhouette has sort of
a drop waist.
- Yes, what I have
is this crazy torso,
so what I try and do
is elongate it a bit,
bring it down to my knees,
and then...
- You bring your torso down
to your knees?
- Well, ish.
Make the length come down here.
- Uh-huh.
Well, you know, you were very
enterprising
in your campaigning
to get here,
so you've gotta be able
to translate that
into your couture outfit.
- Yes.
I am going for
a look that is more classic.
Penny Tration is not Lady Gaga
and nor does she wanna be.
- Bring it, mama.
- I'll do my best.
- All right.
- Thanks, Ru.
- Get to work.
The 49th state!
Alaska.
- Hi.
- You're finally here.
- I know, yay!
- How many times have you
auditioned for this show?
- Um, every time that
you're allowed to
and sometimes when you're not
even accepting applications.
- Well, you've worked so hard
to get here for so many years,
and then I was a little bit
surprised that, in the t*nk,
you sort of kind of gave up.
I just want to encourage you
to just go for it
every single time.
Now, tell me, what are you
working on?
- This is my plastic
evening gown.
- Uh-huh.
- I didn't wanna shy away
from making it look
like it came out
of a dumpster.
- Well, the challenge
is to turn trash into flash.
- Ru is looking at this
a little funny,
and I know I'm taking a risk.
I hope it's couture
enough.
I just see it in my brain.
- Yeah. Okay.
I'm gonna let you
get back to work.
- Thank you.
- All right.
All right, ladies, gather round.
Now, tomorrow, for your
RuPaullywood premiere,
our extra-special guest judges
will be my old friend
Mike Ruiz...
- Yes!
- And from The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills,
your new BFF, Camille Grammer.
[cheering]
And you only get one chance
to make a first impression.
So don't f*ck it up.
Coming up...
- Little bitty Serena...
she's f*cking irritating
the shit out of me.
- I have a feeling you just
like to be the only pretty one.
- You're so immature, it's just
really aggravating.
- [laughing]
- Oh!
- Here we go.
Let's get to work, ladies.
- Today is our first
elimination.
Somebody's going home.
Somebody's lip syncing
for their life,
and it's kinda scary.
- That's a lot of unique pieces
of couture clothing.
- I'm finna' get
all nasty rich!
You think Michelle
would like that?
Just pearls hanging off
her boobs, baby.
- Very you.
Very you.
- She likes to come over
and try to throw me off.
She used to do that when
we were in competition.
- Don't worry.
She thinks that
she is very fashion,
but she dresses like a Dracula.
- How are you feeling?
- I am, you know,
back and forth
between nervous and excited.
- I'm not nervous at all.
I don't know if I should feel
bad for it
or if I should feel nervous
about not being nervous.
- I always go by,
if you're not nervous,
then there's something wrong.
- Time to put on Little House
on the Prairie.
Category is "daytime realness."
- I see your
Laura Ingalls Wilder,
and I give you Africa.
- She's Africa, all right.
She's a muumuu.
[laughter]
- Look, guys, it's a picture
of me and Noodles!
- Aw, Noodles.
- I miss her so much.
- Um, Alaska, who's the top,
and who's the bottom?
- Is it competitive
with you guys being together?
Are you guys competitive
against each other?
- Are you guys jealous
of each other?
- Were you bitter last year?
- Go on, don't lie.
You can tell the truth.
- We have so many questions.
- I would have been.
- Is it difficult?
- I mean, we...we have fights,
'cause it's two giant egos
in one tiny house, so...
- And isn't Sharon the superstar
of the relationship now?
- We had some difficult times
last year.
It was very hard.
- Like when she was gone
or like before she even left?
- Before she left, while she
was gone, after she got back.
We fought viciously
about her getting on
Drag Race and me not.
I felt pain and rejection like
I've never felt in my life.
But as soon as that promo aired
for last year, like showing who
the cast was,
I just burst into tears...
- Aw!
- And I was like,
"I'm so proud of her."
- That's so sweet.
- Yeah, that's really classy.
- I had to choose:
Am I gonna be bitter
or become her biggest fan?
And I made the right choice.
- That's classy.
- But at the same time,
you're an artist,
so that must have been
difficult.
[dramatic note]
- Yeah.
I feel the pressure,
seeing as Sharon just won
this competition.
It's a huge insecurity of mine.
[sighs]
If I was the first to go home,
I would be absolutely
just devastated.
I would feel like I'd
let my family down
and let myself down.
[upbeat music]
- [off-key]
♪ Oh ah ah ♪
- Okay.
- ♪ Ah ♪
- All right.
- ♪ Ah ♪
- That was just right next
to my ear.
- That one's gonna bug me...
that little one.
She's already starting to bug.
Little bitty Serena...
she's kinda irritating,
and by "kinda,"
I mean she's f*cking irritating
the shit out of me...
on a constant.
- I was born and raised
in the republic of Panama.
- Where is Panama?
- It's in between Colombia
and Costa Rica.
It's one of the number one
retirement homes for Americans.
You should consider
going there.
- Not if they're all like you.
all: Ooh!
- Yeah, 'cause your mouth
doesn't shut.
- Oh, okay.
- It wears thin very quickly.
- You know, I have a feeling
you just like to be
the only pretty one.
- I just think you're annoying.
- I can handle annoying.
- I can't.
Serena tries to read b*tches
like she can.
She is loud,
she won't shut her mouth,
and I have had it with her.
- There's funny, and there's
just like blunt rudeness.
- Can you not take it?
Is that why?
- Oh, honey, I can take it.
You're just, like, so immature,
it's just really aggravating.
- I'm sorry.
You're only 21 once,
and you only audition
for this thing once being 21
and get in right away once.
- And then you think
because you're younger,
you think that's an advantage,
when we've all done drag
longer, so...
- Does it bother you
I keep saying I'm 21?
- Well, no, not at all, I mean,
because honestly,
I look just as young as you,
but you just...
- Are you sure about that?
- Ooh!
- Easy!
- Girl, you ain't that pretty.
Cover girl,
don't cover boy, baby.
- Go home, Jade.
Go home.
Just go home.
Well, girls, we will see.
- We shall see.
- [laughing]
Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.
From Jersey to L.A.,
it's my bi-coastal buddy
Michelle Visage.
- Can you believe
it's season five?
- Wow!
- Gorgeous.
- And my favorite leading man,
Santino Rice.
- You've come a long way, baby.
- Welcome, darling.
And fab photographer Mike Ruiz.
- What's up?
- And the very glamorous
Camille Grammer is here!
- Hello, Ru.
- Now, I hear they're letting
drag queens shop
in Beverly Hills.
- Oh, Ru, we've been doing that
for years.
[laughter]
- This week, it's a classic tale
of drags to riches
as we challenged our queens
to turn Beverly Hills trash
into Tinseltown class.
Now they're ready to make
their RuPaullywood
red carpet debut.
Gentlemen, start your engines,
and may the best woman win.
- Coming up...
- The shape is all wrong
for you.
You're gonna get lost in it.
- It was makeup for me.
It was just awful.
- Make a silhouette
and perfect it.
- Hello.
- Is that too much to ask?
- [laughing]
- Commence shake...down.
First up, the queen on
everyone's lips...
Roxxxy Andrews.
Foxy Roxxxy.
- Ooh,
and the hips don't lie.
- Aww...
- I'm walking down the runway,
giving them a little bit of hip
and body...bam!
This is exactly what I would
wear to an awards show.
- All that ass.
- Like to spend a night
in the Roxxxy.
- She has a huge opening...
weekend.
And her box office
ain't bad either.
[laughter]
Jinkx Monsoon.
- I'm ready for my close-up,
Mr. Demille.
- I'm serving 100% aquamarine
Grecian red carpet couture.
I am in heaven right now.
- I dream of Jinkx.
- Loofah, my ass!
[laughter]
Detox on the red carpet.
Oh, it's severe up in here.
- Well, now we know where
last season's backdrop went.
- Yes!
- I'm serving
Jem and the Holograms,
acid punk,
going to the Met gala,
and I feel really sexy
and gorgeous.
- Just another day in Hollywood.
She's detoxing from crack,
by the way.
[laughter]
Ivy Winters!
The ladyboy in red.
- I feel really amazing
because I know that
the garment
is completely hand-stitched,
and it's Hollywood
red carpet couture.
- Isn't she giving Jean Kasem
and...
- And Janice Dickinson.
- Janice Dickinson.
- Yes.
- Let's have lunch at the Ivy.
For your consideration,
Honey Mahogany.
- LaBeija.
- I'm serving Iman,
and I'm stomping my heart out
down the runway.
- The men love me,
the women love me.
[laughter]
- You can catch more flies with
Honey Mahogany.
Jade Jolie.
- I can see her
peacock-cock-cock.
- [imitates NBC chimes]
[laughter]
- I'm serving the judges up
red sequins in your face.
[giggles]
I am a million bucks,
and nothing can bring me down
right now.
- Here's lookin' at you, kid.
Alyssa Edwards.
Wow.
- She's all about the drama.
- It's very drama-filled.
- The bird flew the coop
on this one.
- Yes.
- I'm serving dark and twisted
Alyssa Edwards realness.
My blood is flowing
and my heart is pumping,
and my mind is in it
to win it.
- Somebody took the Black Swan
and mated with the matador.
- And now we've got bird flu.
- Yes.
Penny Tration.
- [laughs]
Yes, please.
- Penny for your thoughts.
- I'm walking slow and letting
them take
all the Penny Tration in.
And I make sure
they can get to see
the backside of Penny Tration.
- You better sissy that walk,
girl.
- All right!
- You better sissy that walk.
- Hey!
- I wonder if she has a twin.
She'd be double Penny Tration.
[laughter]
- Coco Montrese.
- Action!
- She is ready for her close-up.
- Somebody blow into those
bullhorns.
- I know.
- I'm booking it down
the runway,
giving it to you.
I am serving you
old Hollywood.
White woman fish, baby!
- Now, she's a drag queen,
but she really wants to direct.
- Don't we all?
You, on top.
- Vivienne Pinay.
- Oh!
- Oooh!
- Cache spokeswoman.
- Uh-huh.
- I'm giving face,
and I'm giving body.
Hands down, I am the fishiest
b*tch in this competition.
- Very J.Lo.
- Mwah!
Box office gold.
She's ready
for the casting couch.
The 49th state...Alaska.
all: Oh!
- That's gorgeous.
- Is that a Birkin bag
or a Glad bag?
[laughter]
- So that dress is made of
plastic,
but I am treating it
like the most expensive
couture gown ever.
And I just wiggle my way down
the runway as best I can.
- She must have
a really big dog.
[laughter]
Alaska.
Oh, dear, I can see Russia
from here.
- Is that Sarah Palin
in that dress?
- It's Saran Palin.
[laughter]
Lineysha Sparx.
- Ooh, glamour.
- Balenciaga!
- Yes.
- She's really working it.
- That's how she walks
to the grocery store.
What are you talking about?
- My dress is full extravaganza,
and my design is flawless.
- And she's got a shoe
on her head.
- Oh, yeah!
- She has a foot up
on the others.
- She does, she's pumped up
the volume,
I'll tell you that.
She's got Lisa Vanderpump
on her mind.
[laughter]
Monica Beverly Hillz.
- Ooh! Look at those legs.
Legs forever!
- I'm feeling extra,
extra fishy.
My legs are bronzed
for the gods,
and I'm just eating it all up.
- She is serving Lady Miss Kier
in the face...you see that?
- Yes, she is, meets Lil Kim.
- Lady Miss Kim.
Serena ChaCha!
- Hey!
- From Panama!
- Panama City, Florida?
- Panama City, Florida...
- Via the Suez Canal.
- Yes.
[laughter]
- Serena ChaCha
is a drag scholar.
I feel avant-garde, couture,
editorial, like some sort of
surreal painting.
I'm giving them something
different.
- It's like Shakira meets...
- Pinocchio?
- Who you calling a lederhosen?
[laughter]
- Cha cha cha!
Welcome, ladies.
Based on your Hollywood splash
photo session
and your red carpet
couture presentation,
I've made some decisions.
When I call your name, please
step forward.
Jinkx Monsoon.
Detox.
Honey Mahogany.
Monica Beverly Hillz.
Vivienne Pinay.
Alyssa Edwards.
Coco Montrese.
To be America's next
drag superstar,
you need to snatch
the world's attention
at every turn.
And unfortunately tonight...
you are...
the S word.
Safe.
- I didn't come to this
competition just to be safe.
I am here to show people
I still got it.
- Anyone who says it's an honor
just to be nominated...
is one lying b*tch.
You may leave the stage.
Oh, ladies...
one more thing.
Don't call us.
We'll call you.
That's all.
Coming up...
- I'm wanting to like pull
things off of you
just so I can see more
of who's underneath there.
- What's exposed just looks
like boy.
It was all a mess.
- The time has come...
for you to lip sync...
for your life.
[laughing]
Ladies, you represent the best
and the worst of the week.
It's time for the judges'
critiques.
First up, Roxxxy Andrews.
- Out of all the dresses,
this is the one
that I would be wearing.
Absolutely gorgeous.
- Everything you've done
was just perfect to your curves,
and you revealed enough skin
to keep it classy.
Look at that!
- You just wanna show your ass.
- [laughs]
- I don't know
if you guys noticed,
but when I showed you my shoes,
they're RuPaul shoes.
- I noticed.
- And I found them
in the dumpster.
- What?
- What?
- Who would throw those away?
- I don't know.
- Thank you, Roxxxy.
Next up, Ivy Winters!
- Ivy.
Ooh!
- This dress is absolutely
gorgeous.
You sewed this whole thing?
- I did. I hand-stitched it
completely.
- I was looking at you
and I'm like,
where's the trash?
You kinda have to bring in
some kind of
unconventional material
into this challenge.
- Thank you, Ivy Winters.
Next up, Jade Jolie.
- Hey, Ru, hey!
- You have the sweetest,
softest voice.
- [deep voice] You've never
said that to me, Mike.
[laughter]
- I'm wanting to like pull
things off of you
just so I can see more
of who's underneath there.
There's too many details all
crying out for my attention.
- This is very much my
personality,
kinda like taste
the crazy rainbow kinda girl.
- What does the rainbow
taste like?
- Butterflies and unicorns?
- Yeah. Lisa Frank,
all that good stuff.
- Oh, I love it!
You are just a cute little
thing, aren't you?
- You're a cute little thing.
- I could eat you up
in one bite. Argg!
- All right, thank you, Jade.
Next up, Penny Tration.
What do you got to say for
yourself?
- I'm so glad to be here.
There's a lot to see.
Take a look.
- I think with the dress,
it starts to fall apart
after the bust line.
The left and the right look like
different shapes.
- I just think if you took this
front slit
and made it into a side slit,
I think it would have
been just more flattering.
- One thing I notice is,
your shading is very dark.
Black, dare I say.
- The black on the side looks
like a sideburn almost.
- Next up, Alaska.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Now, did you have any difficulty
putting this outfit together?
- Getting it on my body.
I don't have a zipper.
You can't really sew into
plastic.
- You know, the thing is,
you can take something
that costs nothing
and turn it into something
that looks like
a million dollars.
And you did it tonight.
- Thank you.
- Why no earrings?
- I lost them in the dumpster.
[laughter]
- I like the way you have
accessorized it.
I don't think you need
anything more,
'cause you've got
a lot of shimmer going on
because of the plastic
Saran Wrap.
- Thank you.
- Next up, Lineysha Sparx.
- Puerto Rico in the house.
- Que bella.
This is really elegant.
What is that?
- It's wallpaper, actually.
- Is it really?
- Yes.
- It's brilliant.
- I mean, really impressed
because that is not an easy
thing to work with.
And you made it look
really couture.
- I love the shoe as well
in your hair.
- Yes.
- Repurposed.
- That's really using
your head.
[laughter]
- I love the way you've created
this piece.
- This is because if I need to
do the lip synch,
I can do it like this.
[singing gibberish]
[laughter]
- Thank you, Lineysha.
Serena ChaCha.
- Hola.
- I had a little bit
of an issue
with what you're wearing;
I'm not gonna lie.
The shape is all wrong for you.
You're gonna get lost in it.
And then what's exposed
just looks like boy.
- It looks like you've done
your makeup
in a lighter shade
than your body.
And it almost looks like
if you pulled the head
off of one doll
and put it onto the body of,
like, a G.I. Joe figure.
And this collar really adds this
big weight
around your neck that separates
your head from your body.
- Can I see it without
the neck thing?
- It looks so much prettier.
- I wanna say that I'm open for
all the criticism.
And I'm making sure to put it
toward the next challenge,
whatever that may be.
- All right.
Well, thank you.
Well, ladies, I think we've
heard enough.
While you enjoy
an Absolut cocktail
in the Interior Illusions
lounge,
the judges and I
will deliberate.
You may leave the stage.
All right, kids.
Just between us "goils"...
let's start with Roxxxy Andrews.
- Roxxxy had a very convincing
couture red carpet look
and a great blend of fabrics
and unconventional materials.
- She combined goth with glam.
And I thought she looked great.
- Completely thought-out.
Like she knows what her shape
is all about.
- I do have a con
with Roxxxy Andrews.
I wanted to see more ass.
- [laughs]
- Ivy Winters.
- I mean, the dress
was beautiful.
But I really couldn't stop
looking at her hair
because I just didn't like it,
'cause this gown was
so "elegwent"...
"eloguent."
- You real "eloguent."
- That's my new word.
- You speak "eloguent."
- "Eloguent."
- Talk about couture.
I mean, she hand-stitched
that dress.
- As beautiful as the dress was,
where's the trash?
I didn't get that same kind of
feeling that I get
when I look at Alaska
or Lineysha.
- Lineysha's "eloguent."
- [laughs]
All right, let's move on to
Jade Jolie.
My goodness, Jade Jolie.
She had a lot on.
- I can't really tell where
her taste level is because...
- I think you can.
I think you can.
- She has a very fantastical
sort of outlook on life
about rainbows and unicorns
and all.
But I just don't think
it was very well ex*cuted.
- Let's talk about
Penny Tration.
- She came out
with a great attitude.
I get the whole Mae West kinda,
"Come up and see me sometime"
thing going on.
But then you kinda scroll down
a little bit.
- The padding was asymmetrical.
It looked like she had
a tilted pelvis.
Somebody call the osteopath
or something.
- [laughs]
- Make a silhouette
and perfect it.
- Hello.
- Is that too much to ask?
- It is not.
You could be a big girl,
make those proportions
work for you
and actually look couture,
and she didn't.
- Yeah, but it was the makeup
for me.
It was just awful.
- That was probably
the best part, Camille.
[laughter]
- All right, let's head on
to the 49th state,
Alaska.
- I wasn't really expecting much
from Alaska
based on her performance
in the photo sh**t.
But a little Saran Wrap
went a long way tonight.
The only thing is, it should've
had a little slit
'cause she had some difficulty
walking in it.
- My one thing was,
I would've loved to have seen
sparkly earrings up on that.
- Well, Michelle,
Alaska's not from New Jersey.
- [laughs]
- All right, let's move on
to Lineysha Sparx.
- What a gorgeous face
on this one.
- Yes.
- The gown was absolutely
gorgeous.
And when we found out that
it was wallpaper,
I was even more impressed.
- And to put a shoe, a pump,
in her hair,
I thought that was really fun
and whimsical.
- You're right.
And it could've very easily been
a disaster.
- But all in all, she's what
we call a TP.
- A total package,
that's right.
Let's talk ChaCha,
as in Serena ChaCha.
- Oh, God.
She literally
was drag Pinocchio.
It was lederhosen.
It was really like I was waiting
for yodeling.
It was all just a mess.
- She was showing so much of
this kind of, like,
oiled up chest.
- And it was like a little boy
with a costume on.
- I think that
she has to start thinking
about her tiny, little body
and the way she's gonna
execute her fashions.
- Well, she ex*cuted this
fashion.
[laughter]
- She sure did.
- Silence!
I've made my decision.
Bring back my girls.
[laughing]
Welcome back, ladies.
I've made some decisions.
Ivy Winters, your red gown
looked like it was ripped from
the pages of Vogue.
You're safe.
Alaska,
you had this challenge
in the bag.
You're safe.
- Thank you.
- Roxxxy Andrews,
you dove deep
into the dumpsters
of Beverly Hills
and made rubbish
look ravishing.
Condragulations.
You're the winner
of this challenge.
[applause]
You receive a custom gown
by Marco Marco,
plus immunity from elimination
next week.
- Are you kidding me right now?
I'm on cloud nine.
Suck that...aah!
Thank you
for believing in me.
- You may join the other girls.
Lineysha Sparx,
you lit up the runway
in classic Hollywood glamour.
You're safe.
- I thought that
I was gonna win.
But whatever.
- Serena ChaCha,
on the runway
you moved like Jagger,
but your red carpet look
was "coutorture."
I'm sorry, my dear, but you are
up for elimination.
- Oh, crap.
You really messed up.
I do not wanna be the first
person sent home.
This cannot f*cking happen
at this point.
- Penny Tration, we love your
dangerous curves.
But your red carpet couture
veered off in the wrong
direction.
Jade Jolie, you didn't wear
your dress.
It wore you.
But still, your personality
shined through.
Jade Jolie...
you're safe.
- [exhales]
Thank you guys so much.
- Wait.
Hold up, mama.
May I give you a word of advice?
- Yes.
- Edit.
- Edit?
- That's right.
- Thank you so much.
- Penny Tration, I'm sorry,
my dear, but you are up
for elimination.
- [deep breath]
I'm disappointed
because there are
a lot of people who really
wanted me to be here.
And I'm letting them down.
- Two queens stand before me.
Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me
and save yourself
from elimination.
The time has come for you to
lip sync for your life.
- This is my last chance
for the world to see
why I deserve to be here.
You better work.
Like, you better work.
That's it.
- Good luck.
And don't f*ck it up.
- ♪ I hopped off the plane ♪
♪ At L.A.X. with a dream
and my cardigan ♪
♪ Welcome to the land
of fame excess ♪
♪ Whoa,
am I gonna fit in? ♪
- I absolutely have never
performed
Party in the USA.
And I'm really just focusing on
doing the best job I can
with what I've got.
- ♪ Everybody seems so famous ♪
- The stakes are really high
right now.
Like this is
the real, real race.
And all I can think of
is deliver.
- ♪ Taxi man ♪
♪ Turned on the radio ♪
♪ And the Jay-Z song was on ♪
♪ And the Jay-Z song
was on ♪
♪ And the
Jay-X song was on ♪
♪ So I put my hands up ♪
- Serena is turning the party,
girl.
And then, ooh!
She drops into a split.
Now, I know this is
every girl's old faithful,
but she did it the right way.
- ♪ Got my hands up ♪
♪ They're playing my song ♪
♪ I know I'm gonna be okay ♪
- I'm looking at Penny
and I'm wondering,
"Why does she keep
turning around?"
- She didn't know the words.
You know, that's an old-school
drag queen trick.
When you don't know the words,
turn around,
do something
to distract them.
- ♪ Put my hands up ♪
♪ They're playing my song ♪
♪ The butterflies fly away ♪
♪ I'm noddin' my head ♪
♪ Like "yeah" ♪
♪ Moving my hips
like "yeah" ♪
- I'm thinking Penny Tration
is going to turn it out.
I was wrong.
[chuckles]
- ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ It's a party in the USA ♪
[cheers and applause]
- Ladies, I've made
my decision.
Serena ChaCha...
Shantay, you stay.
You may join the other girls.
- [crying]
- Penny Tration, even though
this isn't
the Hollywood ending
you dreamed of,
never, ever stop
reaching for the stars.
- Don't worry about that.
- Now, sashay away.
- Thank you all.
[applause]
Given the circumstances,
I don't have any regrets.
I don't think there's much else
I would've done differently.
And I'm not sure
that there's much else
I would be able to show them.
And my family's
already proud of me,
regardless
of what happens here.
- My lucky, lucky 13,
condragulations.
Now remember,
if you can't love yourself,
how in the hell you gonna love
somebody else?
Can I get a "amen" up in here?
all: Amen!
- All right,
now let the music play.
had one thing in common.
They were all busted...
And found guilty...
[gavel bangs]
Of being sickening...
Order in the courtroom,
hunties!
A new trial begins,
as 14 queens prove
they can dance...
[baby crying]
Act...
- Aah!
[laughter]
[laughter]
- Swim...
- Whoo!
- And sing.
- ♪ Can I get
a haaaaaaooow! ♪
- More celebrities...
- How do you tuck your junk?
- Aah!
- [laughs]
- I love this show!
- Criminal fashion...
- You look absolutely terrific.
Honestly.
- In a word, sensational.
And not a dry eye
in the house.
- I was left, nobody cared.
[cries]
- We get to choose our family,
you know?
We get to choose the people
that we're around,
you know what I'm saying?
The new season
of RuPaul's Drag Race
is in session.
And these queens...
- Look at this.
- Are k*ller.
[screams]
- Look how orange
you f*cking look, girl!
- I'm not joking, b*tch!
- Step the f*ck off!
- No, no, no, no!
- Aah!
[apocalyptic music]
- I can't wait to see
how this turns out.
- [gasps]
Holy shit, we're here.
My name is Detox,
and I am 27 years old.
I can do everything.
I act, I sing, I rap, I dance.
Let's send the rest
of these clowns home.
Where is everybody?
I've worked
with huge celebrities
like Rihanna, Kesha,
and I'm the queen bee,
so eat it up
and crown it.
You're all f*cking welcome.
- My name is Roxxxy Andrews,
and I'm 28 years old.
Mash!
Are you kidding?
[both screaming]
Me and Detox started drag
together,
and I'm just so excited
to see her.
You look gorge.
- You too.
- I am a pageant girl...
big hair, big makeup.
From head to toe,
it's a Roxxxy Andrews project.
It all begins.
- Hey, girls, hey!
- Hey!
- What's going on, pussycats?
- What's going on?
- I am Jade Jolie.
I am 25 years old.
Honey, I'm serving up fish.
Tuna on a platter.
You look gorge.
- Thank you, you too.
- Jade is bubbly.
She laughs a lot.
[giggling]
I just like to be fabulous
and fun.
[giggling]
- Well, you both are going home
really early,
just so you know.
- [laughing]
- My name is Serena ChaCha,
and I'm 21 years old.
This is the best
quinceanera present ever!
- It's your quinceanera?
- I come from an art school
environment,
and I'm interested
in fine art drag.
So this is...this is...
[overlapping chatter]
Automatically,
Detox and Roxxxy were...
[rapid gibberish]
- Whoo! Ow!
[laughing]
- It's a little off-putting,
rather annoying.
So much fun.
[cheering]
- Shut up!
- My name is Alyssa Edwards,
and I am 32 years of age.
I'm known as
the Vanessa Williams of drag,
because after winning the title
of Miss Gay America,
the crown was taken away
from me.
Girl, I am gagging.
I am here
to show people
I still got it.
I need to get up in this gear,
girl.
Let me get a look.
- [whooping]
[laughter]
- You know, I can hear the
cackling from down the street.
all: Hi!
- My name is Jinkx Monsoon.
I'm 24,
and I'm Seattle's
youngest MILF.
Hi!
- Swimsuit competition.
- I'm theatrically trained
in the Broadway
school of singing.
- Ooh!
- Okay, Detox,
with the feathers.
- I don't know
about that Jinkx yet.
She's a little kooky.
- Pfft!
- Hello, boys!
My name's Penny Tration,
and I am 39 years old.
I'm here because I was chosen
by thousands of people
in the online voting contest.
- You're the web vote?
- You guys should be happy
to know
that everybody actually
wanted me here.
[laughter]
I hope that me being voted on
the show by a lot of people
makes the other queens
really intimidated.
- Hey, y'all.
- Hello.
- Whoo!
- Ohh!
We got another one.
- My name is Vivienne Pinay.
I'm 26 years old.
- You're giving me
pinup Kat Von D doll.
- Thank you.
Vivienne is all about glamour.
My beauty is everything.
- Vivienne's cute,
but I'm cuter.
[laughs]
- Oh, my God.
- Who is it?
- [imitates horse whinny]
- Uh...
- Hi!
- Oh, shit.
- Wow.
- My name is Alaska,
and I'm 27 years old.
And I also have
a very famous boyfriend
whose name is Sharon Needles.
- Sharon's girlfriend.
Girl/boyfriends.
- Oh.
- In this competition, dating
the previous winner
is definitely uncharted
territory.
- This trash bag couture is
something else.
- Yes. It's a plastic
tablecloth.
- Alaska definitely has
big shoes to fill.
- Hey, sisters.
all: Whoa!
- My name is Honey Mahogany.
And I'm 28 years old.
How are you?
- Honey Mahogany
is like
a RuPaul Drag Race poster.
But not quite as polished.
♪ Sorry about it ♪
- I think I'm the first queen
from San Francisco, actually.
- Hello, hippie!
- People get down on
San Francisco
for being a bunch of hippies.
But there's so much beauty
there.
Have you seen Honey Mahogany?
[laughs]
- Uh-oh!
- Hey, hey, hey, ladies!
Aah!
Oh, my God!
My name is Ivy Winters.
I'm 25 years old.
- Your top is awesome.
- Thank you.
- It's so well-tailored.
- I make dresses
out of cassette tape,
paper cups, condoms.
I will figure out a way
to turn it into a costume.
And I used to work as a clown
for like eight years.
- Well, you still do.
[laughter]
- Hello, girls.
I'm Monica Beverly Hillz,
with a Z.
I'm 27.
Monica Beverly Hillz
is very good at giving face.
This might be the fishiest
season ever, darling.
- I know!
- I have been called
ghetto, banji, trashy.
I was raised in the ghetto.
You know, I'm street smart.
And there's nothing wrong
with that.
- Oh! Look at this!
- I'm Lineysha Sparx,
and I am 24 years old.
Lineysha is so fierce,
so flawless, so sparkling.
I'm very excited to be here
representing Puerto Rico, so...
Lineysha's in the house,
so watch out, b*tches.
- How many more girls?
This has to be it, right?
- This has to be it.
- Lucky 13.
- This is 13?
- Oh, boys!
The diva has arrived!
I'm Coco Montrese,
and I'm 37 years old.
[all screaming]
[dramatic chorus]
- And then walks in
Coco Montrese...
the face-crack of the century.
- Oh, my God!
Alyssa Edwards.
What the f*ck?
Oh, Alyssa Edwards...again.
- Here she goes.
- What's the story?
- Alyssa, you wanna tell
the story,
or you want me to tell
the story?
- There's no story.
- What's the story?
- We haven't spoke in two years.
The pageant tore our friendship
apart.
- We were close, and I feel like
I was bamboozled.
- Coco was the one
backstabbing me behind my back.
- Alyssa and I will have
our moment later together,
'cause we need a moment.
I don't think she wants to talk
about it...
but we're gonna talk about it.
If she doesn't go home first.
- "Game on, b*tch,"
the sequel.
[siren]
- Ooh, girl, you got shemail!
[cheering]
Welcome, my queens.
I told you California
was the place you oughta be.
So you tightened up your tuck
and you flew to Beverly...
Hills.
Adjacent, that is.
[laughter]
So whether you're
a fresh princess of Bel-Air,
a Malibu Barbie,
or just serving
Real Housewife realness,
to get your big break
in RuPaullywood, you need
to make an even bigger splash
and really shake things up.
Oh...oh, my goodness!
An earthquake!
Oh, my God! My hair!
Ooh!
I think it's the big one.
Ooh! Ooh, faster, faster!
Ooh!
Slower, slower, slower.
Oh!
Cut!
[sighs]
Remember, to snatch this crown,
you need to fake it
until you make it.
[cheering]
Hello, hello, hello.
[all screaming]
Welcome to RuPaul's Drag Race.
- Yes!
- Now, I chose each of you
because I see in you the raw
charisma, uniqueness, nerve,
and talent that it takes to go
all the way.
In addition to winning
the title
of America's next
drag superstar,
the champion
of RuPaul's Drag Race
will receive a lifetime supply
of Color Evolution cosmetics,
a one-of-a-kind trip
courtesy of ALandCHUCK.travel,
and headline Logo's
Outrageous Drag Race Tour,
featuring Absolut Vodka,
cocktails perfected.
And some cash money, honey.
[cheering]
Yes, child.
To the tune of $100,000.
[cheering, chatter]
- Well, I feel so excited.
It's 100,000 of dollars!
And I want to win that money.
- No more kiddin' around,
girls.
You're in the enter-taint-ment
capital of the world.
- Yes!
- And to make it in
RuPaullywood,
you've gotta dive
in the deep end.
Are you ready for your close-up?
Coming up...
[slow-motion scream]
[laughing]
[laughing]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Hi, Jade.
- Hey, Ru.
It's time for our first
photo sh**t.
I am eager to see
what the challenge is,
and I am super-nervous.
- What do you think is going on
right now?
- Um...[giggling]
I'm not sure.
- Well, turn around.
- Oh! [laughs]
Oh, my gosh.
Talk about the elephant
in the room.
Didn't see that.
[laughing]
- Now, say hello to the amazing
Mike Ruiz.
Mike is here to sh**t
your Hollywood splash photo.
What we're looking for
is underwater serving glamour.
- Like, give us fish.
- [laughs] Awesome.
- Let's do it.
- Today we're doing an homage
to old Hollywood
that's kind of a tribute
to old Esther Williams films.
- Please note that there's
no pee in the water.
- [laughing]
- All right, hit it!
- Jade Jolie,
you're soaking in it.
- Try not to look like
you're holding your breath.
Jade would inhale
a bunch of air
and would hold it all
in her cheeks like a chipmunk.
That doesn't make for
a very pretty glamour shot.
She's giving me parrot fish.
- I was giving Helen Keller
drowning realness.
[laughs]
- Ooh! Wet and wild.
Roxxxy Andrews!
Hit it.
- Acrobatic, graceful,
gorgeous face, glamour.
- Ooh, she's rolling
in the deep!
- Do it.
- On the Roxxxy with a splash.
Detox!
- Give us everything
you've got.
Yes!
It's the bumble fish.
- Aquawomana!
Oh, gorgeous!
- Gorgeous.
- Detox fell off the wagon
and into the pool.
Serena ChaCha!
The time has come for you
to sink...for your life!
- For my life.
- Uno, dos, tres!
Oops. Uh-oh.
- Oh, dear.
I can see your seafood platter!
Your paella is showing!
- At least Serena
was wearing panties.
Okay.
- Okay, there's a pole.
- Hold on to the pole.
Lookit.
It looks like frog legs.
[RuPaul laughing]
- What the f*ck
was that about, guys?
- It's not
your quinceanera anymore, is it?
- Your quinceanera is ruined!
- By a pool.
- I'm not tucked.
- Oh, you didn't tuck?
- I'm not tucked at all,
so the dress is doing this
the whole time.
- Showing all your bubblegum
and everything.
- See, you thought you were
being cutesie
by being comfortable
with your non-tuck,
and they got you together.
I'm not a fan of girls
who don't tuck.
Look like a woman.
It's female impersonation
at the end of the day.
- Deeper!
Don't be so shallow, Alyssa.
Your legs look like calamari
when you do that.
- Okay.
- Dance underwater.
Is that dress wash and wear?
- Whew!
- Careful on these
wet, slippery surfaces.
Oh!
Queen down.
- At least I did it gracefully.
- Very.
- Jinkx Monsoon, welcome to
the drag lagoon!
- I don't know how to swim.
I learned how to swim
by one of my uncles
pushing me off a log
into a river.
First time under the water,
I lost both my contacts.
I was blinded within seconds.
- Okay, you look a little scared
underwater.
- A more pretty face.
- Okay, too much splashing.
Uh-oh.
You're splashing aroun...oops.
- [gasping]
- Are you okay?
- Just a little tang...
[spits] Tangled.
- I think we're gonna
have to call it a wrap.
- Jinkx, there's got to be
a morning after.
Deeper, Penny Tration.
Girl, you're gonna put
Shelley Winters out of work.
- [laughs]
- Oh, wait a minute.
- And go.
- Yes, yes, yes!
Poseidon Adventure, darling.
- Hit it!
- Serving "Wettie" Page.
- Yes!
- Touch all of the skin.
The filet of Vivienne Pinay.
Oh, Alaska's underwater.
Damn you, global warming!
- Oh!
- Okay. Yeah, your head's not
going very deep.
- And keep your hair
out of your face.
- I can't get deep enough.
I don't know how to do it.
- Alaska...she got really
frustrated, and it showed.
Push yourself down.
Go!
No.
Nope...on your face.
- Oh!
- All right, all right.
- I can't do it.
I failed.
- We will offer you one more dip
if you wanna take it.
- I'm sorry.
That was terrible!
[laughter]
I can't believe that.
I'm in shock.
I did so bad!
I don't know how to swim.
- Oh, get that.
- I've completely blown it.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
- It's Honey Mahogany!
Honey, I sunk the kids.
Ooh! That was pretty.
Ivy Winters!
Throwing caution to the wind.
Fishy when wet.
Monica Beverly Hillz.
- Push your dress down
when you get underwater.
- You look like a jellyfish.
In the future, you should
hand-wash your woolens.
Oh...yes!
- All right!
Lineysha's body language
was so incredibly graceful
and dancerly;
it was amazing.
- Sparkle, Lineysha, sparkle!
Sorry to say, that satin will
never be the same.
Work!
Coco Montrese!
Chicken of the sea!
Serving "Tuna" Turner.
- Relax your face.
- Yes, mama.
Instant Coco...just add water.
- Okay, y'all, somebody forgot
to tell them...
- [laughs]
- That black people don't swim.
[laughter]
Thank God I'm Dominican.
- Oh.
- Y'all look cute.
- Seeing everybody de-dragging
for the very first time
is always exciting.
Detox...immediately, I'm like,
"Work done!"
- [smacking]
- Lineysha
is the Puerto Rican papi.
Oh, my gosh.
- Jinkx out of drag, uh...
Why does she have
an eye patch?
What is going on?
Oh, my God!
- I saw you sleeping earlier.
I was like, "Maybe she's just
really tired."
- I have narcolepsy.
So if I don't like stay active,
I start to slunk,
and then it's a whole big mess.
- Wait, Miss Thing.
So you fall asleep
out of nowhere?
- It's not how they do it
in the movies.
You know, like,
you can feel it coming on,
and if you're lucky, you make
your way to a sofa and...
[laughs]
- Jinkx is a special person.
- I am Seattle's premier
Jewish narcoleptic drag queen.
Thank you.
I'm not gonna make an excuse
for it.
I wear my narcolepsy
as a badge of pride.
It's something I've had to...
[snoring]
- [clears throat]
- Yes!
[all cheering]
- Thank you, Mr. Handsome.
- I know what I wanna drink.
- Hello, hello, hello!
[all cheering]
Um...who are you guys?
[laughter]
Now, Mike and I have reviewed
your photos,
and some of you were in
over your heads.
- Yes!
- But some of you took to it
like a fish to water.
- Fish!
- The one queen that surfaced
as the clear winner is...
Detox.
[all cheering]
- I was floored.
I may sit around and Kiki
with everybody,
but at the end of the day,
I'm here for one reason,
and that's to win.
- Detox, I love your photo
so much,
I'm tweeting it right now.
#RuPaullywood.
- Yeah, that's right!
- Ladies, take a moment
to unwind.
Because tomorrow,
your RuPaullywood adventure
continues with a Beverly Hills
shopping spree.
- Oh!
[cheering]
- I'm thrilled at the aspect
of going on a shopping spree.
- Let's go.
- Adios!
all: Bye!
- But I'm pretty sure
it's not gonna be
the shopping spree
that we imagine.
- Coming up...
- What's going on?
- Oh!
- Oh, my God!
- And where is my damn
shopping spree?
[all shouting]
- Wait!
- Mommy!
- [laughing]
[laughing]
- So today RuPaul
is sending us
on a exclusive tour
of RuPaullywood,
which culminates in a special
Beverly Hills shopping spree.
[horn honks]
- ♪ Stone cold city ♪
♪ Took a bite out of me ♪
♪ Love of my life ♪
♪ Said he had to leave ♪
♪ Said I love you ♪
♪ But I hate it ♪
♪ It's not for me ♪
♪ I'd rather take my chances ♪
♪ Back in Tennessee ♪
- Wait!
- ♪ Hollywood, USA ♪
♪ Hollywood, USA ♪
- I'm getting my life
on this bus.
Celebrities waving back.
Oh, my gosh, it's like a dream
come true.
- ♪ Going to be a star ♪
♪ Workin' in a bar ♪
♪ Change your name ♪
♪ To play the game ♪
♪ It all remains the same ♪
♪ Sing your song ♪
♪ You got the part ♪
♪ Don't forget your heart ♪
♪ You'll need it ♪
♪ When you reach the top ♪
♪ And you're alone in ♪
♪ Hollywood, Hollywood ♪
♪ Hollywood ♪
♪ I lost my love ♪
♪ In Hollywood ♪
♪ Hollywood ♪
♪ I lost my love ♪
♪ Hollywood ♪
[all gasping and cheering]
- Hello, ladies.
Hi!
- Who comes out the door
but Camille Grammer
from The Real Housewives.
Are you kidding me?
- Welcome to Beverly Hills.
[all cheering]
We've been expecting you.
But you can't come in here.
- Oh...
- RuPaul is waiting for you
at the VIP entrance...
that way.
- Oh!
- Over there?
- Wait. What?
- Ciao, darlings.
Mwah!
- We love you, Camille!
- [mouthing]
Call me.
- Whoo!
- So we walk around the store
to meet RuPaul.
We're looking,
and we see a gate.
- Oh!
What is this?
- We see dumpsters
and an alien from outer space.
What's going on?
And where's my damn
shopping spree?
- Girl...
[suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
- Well, hey, pretty womens.
[laughing, chatter]
Welcome to the slums
of Beverly Hills.
- Hey!
- Now, I promised you
a shopping spree, but, girl,
Beverly Hills boutiques
can be so darn...
♪ Pricey ♪
But I know where you can get
a real bargain!
These dumpsters are overflowing
with some of the most exclusive
garbage in the 90210.
For your first main challenge,
you need to create
an award-winning look
that screams "Hollywood
red carpet couture," darling.
You'll have just one minute
to dumpster dive.
And, ladies...
all sales are final.
[chuckles]
- Oh, my God.
We're dumpster diving
for materials.
Great, it's a challenge.
- Gentlemen,
start your engines,
and may the best woman win.
[rock music]
[all exclaiming, yelling]
- I'm trying to get
everything I can.
Girls pushing and prodding
and jumping on top of my head.
Ow!
That's my leg.
This is crazy, honey.
- Out of my way! Oh!
- The girl next to me
throws the lid up...
[slow-motion voices]
I won't make it out of this
competition alive.
[laughs]
- Oh! My garbage!
[overlapping chatter]
- I can't get out of here!
- Ay, damn!
Penny Tration smacked my face,
honey.
My moneymaker!
I was pissed.
Don't knock me over.
- Don't knock you over?
This pushy little queen
over here getting on my nerves!
I am not afraid
to shove my way
through the little girls...
Mommy!
And get what I need to get.
- I am gagged,
and not in the good way.
- I got a steal!
- Five-finger discount.
Mm-hmm.
- Ooh!
- All right.
Let's get to work.
- Shopping spree,
shopping spree.
No credit card involved.
We entered back
into the workroom,
and it was time to get to work.
- Whoo, girl!
- Fabulous.
- What are you wearing, Roxxxy?
- This is my makeup dress.
- Why?
- Because I take my makeup off
in it.
Oh, y'all can't take me?
Oh, y'all cannot take
my fishy daytime dress.
- Miss Alaska,
put some clothes on, please.
- First one naked!
- Tucka-tucka-tucka-tucka!
- Look at this.
- The reason she walked in
the room with a horse face...
was 'cause she is a horse.
- Talk about letting it all
hang out, darling.
- b*tch, I live for this.
- Oh, my God,
how did you get that?
- ♪ Welcome to the ♪
♪ Jungle ♪
- What is that?
- Miss Thang!
- You found that?
- She hit the jackpot!
We got the winner.
- I am happy with what I got
from the dumpster.
I found fabulous
red sequined fabric.
- Ooh, girl,
you got paillettes!
- Mister sisters over here.
- Mister sister?
- Mister sisters.
- Mister sisters?
- Mister sisters.
- It's so funny.
As soon as she pulled out
all them red paillettes,
you are now her best friend.
She's trying to take
Miss Thing's fabric.
She can't be bothered
right now.
- She got Miss Thing
to cut it up.
- What are they talking about
over there?
- Jade, be careful, girl.
- Be careful with her.
- Why you say be careful
to me, Miss Coco?
- Just be careful.
That's all I'm saying.
- Here she comes.
- Miss Jade.
Find out who your real friends
are,
and you stick by
your real friends.
- Girl, you're my real friend,
b*tch.
- I'm not saying Alyssa's not.
- You can meet your friends'
longevity, right?
'Cause we've been in
competition.
- We have been in a lot of
competitions.
- And at the end of the day,
it's like you really, truly find
who your friends are
in the end.
- Yeah. That's true.
- That's what it's about.
- So we'll talk about it later,
Alyssa.
- We don't got nothing
to talk about.
- We do have...we have a lot to
talk about.
You say you'll find out later
who your friends are.
So you and I will sit down
and talk about that.
- I wanna know what the f*ck
happened.
- When are you gonna tell me?
- Not gonna answer that.
When I'm ready.
- I'm definitely feeling
the pressure because
I floundered
in the dunk t*nk.
So hopefully, I can redeem
myself.
- Alaska's a one-trick pony
at this point,
because yet again,
she's making another dress
out of plastic bags.
- Saran Wrap?
It's red carpet, honey.
This might get you
on the bottom two.
Good luck.
- Coming up...
- I just wanted to keep it
kinda classy.
- Yeah.
There's a lot of influences
there.
- This is my plastic
evening gown.
I just see it in my brain.
- Okay.
- I hope it's couture
enough.
- [laughing]
- I need like wire cutters.
This week's main challenge
is making dumpster
red carpet couture.
- Where's some pins,
straight pins?
- I don't know.
- The workroom's really tense
at the moment,
'cause everyone's designing
their first runway look.
And it's important to make
a first impression.
- Everyone's all quiet.
That means you guys are
stressed.
- Being an artist,
I feel like the best thing
to do is just, you know,
concentrate on your concept,
chew as much as you can chew,
and you hope that whatever
you spit out comes out right.
- Serena's going very slow.
She's doing this and that,
but there's just kind of
no product being made.
And time's ticking down.
- Hello, hello, hello!
all: Hi!
- Now, is this the real
drag queens of Beverly Hills?
all: Yes!
- Yes, ma'am.
- Well, hello, Coco Montrese.
- Hi, Ru.
- Now, this outfit...
- I want to give
Debbie Reynolds...
Marilyn Monroe
meets Madonna.
I just wanted to keep it
kind of classy.
- Yeah.
Well, there's a lot of
influences there.
- I don't wanna play it safe.
One way or another,
I need to stand out.
So take it or leave it,
this is me tomorrow,
and I'm gonna turn it.
- I know that you have a history
with Alyssa.
Has it gotten in the way so far
in the competition?
- It...kinda threw me.
This Alyssa situation
is a distraction for me
right now.
And I need to put it aside
and focus on
what Coco's gonna present.
- All right, Coco.
- Thank you.
- You're taking a risk,
and I love it, so go for it.
- Thanks, Ru.
- Serena ChaCha.
- Hi, Ru.
- How long have you been
doing drag?
- For three years.
Just turned 21,
just graduated art school.
I do performance art.
- Performance art.
- Yeah.
- Now, do you sew?
- Yes, but there is
a new art movement
called soft sculpture.
It's more about creating
a sculpture
rather than just tailoring.
- Well, that sounds great
on paper,
but what does it look like?
- It looks like this.
- That scares me.
- I'm trying to do detail
first,
just like when you paint.
- There's not a lot of time
here, you know.
- A little scared about that.
- And there's not a lot of dress
over here either.
- No, it's still really abstract
right now,
but I know it's gonna
come together.
- Serena said she went
to art school.
She might want her money back.
- I'm just surprised that
you're so calm and collected,
you know?
There's a lot of experienced
queens here
who are a little further along
in their execution
of their couture outfit.
- All I have to do is come up
with a whole
performative aspect for my
dress, and I'm totally calm.
I know this is gonna work out.
I totally do.
- Well, listen, I know you got
a lot of work to do here.
I can tell.
- I do.
- So get back to it.
- Okay, I will.
Thank you, Ru, I appreciate it.
- All right.
Roxxxy Andrews!
- RuPaul!
- Look at you, girl!
- Girl, I'm rushing.
- Do you sew?
- I do sew.
You know, losing weight
when I was a kid,
you know, I had to take
a lot of my clothes in
'cause we didn't have
a lot of money.
- Now, have you recently lost
a lot of weight?
- I did lose.
I've lost like 70 pounds.
- 70 pounds?
- 70 pounds.
- And how has that affected
the way you dress
and the way you feel?
- Well, girl, now I show
a little more body
than I used to be able to.
I used to be in eight corsets,
ten girdles and not being able
to breathe.
I used to be a big-ger girl.
But I still consider myself
a girl
who's got a little meat
on her bones.
And whether you're juicy, fat,
whatever,
embrace what you got
and work with it.
- You're not a big girl.
You're a thick girl.
- I'm a thick...I'm juicy.
- Oh, okay!
All right, I'm down with that.
- Right?
- Listen, I'm gonna let you get
back to work here.
- Thank you, Ru.
- Thank you.
Penny Tration!
- RuPaul!
- Hi!
You are our fan favorite.
The fans chose you.
- I know.
Which is amazing to me.
I now have a true respect
for politicians.
All the begging and the pleading
and the votes.
- So tell me what you're doing.
The silhouette has sort of
a drop waist.
- Yes, what I have
is this crazy torso,
so what I try and do
is elongate it a bit,
bring it down to my knees,
and then...
- You bring your torso down
to your knees?
- Well, ish.
Make the length come down here.
- Uh-huh.
Well, you know, you were very
enterprising
in your campaigning
to get here,
so you've gotta be able
to translate that
into your couture outfit.
- Yes.
I am going for
a look that is more classic.
Penny Tration is not Lady Gaga
and nor does she wanna be.
- Bring it, mama.
- I'll do my best.
- All right.
- Thanks, Ru.
- Get to work.
The 49th state!
Alaska.
- Hi.
- You're finally here.
- I know, yay!
- How many times have you
auditioned for this show?
- Um, every time that
you're allowed to
and sometimes when you're not
even accepting applications.
- Well, you've worked so hard
to get here for so many years,
and then I was a little bit
surprised that, in the t*nk,
you sort of kind of gave up.
I just want to encourage you
to just go for it
every single time.
Now, tell me, what are you
working on?
- This is my plastic
evening gown.
- Uh-huh.
- I didn't wanna shy away
from making it look
like it came out
of a dumpster.
- Well, the challenge
is to turn trash into flash.
- Ru is looking at this
a little funny,
and I know I'm taking a risk.
I hope it's couture
enough.
I just see it in my brain.
- Yeah. Okay.
I'm gonna let you
get back to work.
- Thank you.
- All right.
All right, ladies, gather round.
Now, tomorrow, for your
RuPaullywood premiere,
our extra-special guest judges
will be my old friend
Mike Ruiz...
- Yes!
- And from The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills,
your new BFF, Camille Grammer.
[cheering]
And you only get one chance
to make a first impression.
So don't f*ck it up.
Coming up...
- Little bitty Serena...
she's f*cking irritating
the shit out of me.
- I have a feeling you just
like to be the only pretty one.
- You're so immature, it's just
really aggravating.
- [laughing]
- Oh!
- Here we go.
Let's get to work, ladies.
- Today is our first
elimination.
Somebody's going home.
Somebody's lip syncing
for their life,
and it's kinda scary.
- That's a lot of unique pieces
of couture clothing.
- I'm finna' get
all nasty rich!
You think Michelle
would like that?
Just pearls hanging off
her boobs, baby.
- Very you.
Very you.
- She likes to come over
and try to throw me off.
She used to do that when
we were in competition.
- Don't worry.
She thinks that
she is very fashion,
but she dresses like a Dracula.
- How are you feeling?
- I am, you know,
back and forth
between nervous and excited.
- I'm not nervous at all.
I don't know if I should feel
bad for it
or if I should feel nervous
about not being nervous.
- I always go by,
if you're not nervous,
then there's something wrong.
- Time to put on Little House
on the Prairie.
Category is "daytime realness."
- I see your
Laura Ingalls Wilder,
and I give you Africa.
- She's Africa, all right.
She's a muumuu.
[laughter]
- Look, guys, it's a picture
of me and Noodles!
- Aw, Noodles.
- I miss her so much.
- Um, Alaska, who's the top,
and who's the bottom?
- Is it competitive
with you guys being together?
Are you guys competitive
against each other?
- Are you guys jealous
of each other?
- Were you bitter last year?
- Go on, don't lie.
You can tell the truth.
- We have so many questions.
- I would have been.
- Is it difficult?
- I mean, we...we have fights,
'cause it's two giant egos
in one tiny house, so...
- And isn't Sharon the superstar
of the relationship now?
- We had some difficult times
last year.
It was very hard.
- Like when she was gone
or like before she even left?
- Before she left, while she
was gone, after she got back.
We fought viciously
about her getting on
Drag Race and me not.
I felt pain and rejection like
I've never felt in my life.
But as soon as that promo aired
for last year, like showing who
the cast was,
I just burst into tears...
- Aw!
- And I was like,
"I'm so proud of her."
- That's so sweet.
- Yeah, that's really classy.
- I had to choose:
Am I gonna be bitter
or become her biggest fan?
And I made the right choice.
- That's classy.
- But at the same time,
you're an artist,
so that must have been
difficult.
[dramatic note]
- Yeah.
I feel the pressure,
seeing as Sharon just won
this competition.
It's a huge insecurity of mine.
[sighs]
If I was the first to go home,
I would be absolutely
just devastated.
I would feel like I'd
let my family down
and let myself down.
[upbeat music]
- [off-key]
♪ Oh ah ah ♪
- Okay.
- ♪ Ah ♪
- All right.
- ♪ Ah ♪
- That was just right next
to my ear.
- That one's gonna bug me...
that little one.
She's already starting to bug.
Little bitty Serena...
she's kinda irritating,
and by "kinda,"
I mean she's f*cking irritating
the shit out of me...
on a constant.
- I was born and raised
in the republic of Panama.
- Where is Panama?
- It's in between Colombia
and Costa Rica.
It's one of the number one
retirement homes for Americans.
You should consider
going there.
- Not if they're all like you.
all: Ooh!
- Yeah, 'cause your mouth
doesn't shut.
- Oh, okay.
- It wears thin very quickly.
- You know, I have a feeling
you just like to be
the only pretty one.
- I just think you're annoying.
- I can handle annoying.
- I can't.
Serena tries to read b*tches
like she can.
She is loud,
she won't shut her mouth,
and I have had it with her.
- There's funny, and there's
just like blunt rudeness.
- Can you not take it?
Is that why?
- Oh, honey, I can take it.
You're just, like, so immature,
it's just really aggravating.
- I'm sorry.
You're only 21 once,
and you only audition
for this thing once being 21
and get in right away once.
- And then you think
because you're younger,
you think that's an advantage,
when we've all done drag
longer, so...
- Does it bother you
I keep saying I'm 21?
- Well, no, not at all, I mean,
because honestly,
I look just as young as you,
but you just...
- Are you sure about that?
- Ooh!
- Easy!
- Girl, you ain't that pretty.
Cover girl,
don't cover boy, baby.
- Go home, Jade.
Go home.
Just go home.
Well, girls, we will see.
- We shall see.
- [laughing]
Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.
From Jersey to L.A.,
it's my bi-coastal buddy
Michelle Visage.
- Can you believe
it's season five?
- Wow!
- Gorgeous.
- And my favorite leading man,
Santino Rice.
- You've come a long way, baby.
- Welcome, darling.
And fab photographer Mike Ruiz.
- What's up?
- And the very glamorous
Camille Grammer is here!
- Hello, Ru.
- Now, I hear they're letting
drag queens shop
in Beverly Hills.
- Oh, Ru, we've been doing that
for years.
[laughter]
- This week, it's a classic tale
of drags to riches
as we challenged our queens
to turn Beverly Hills trash
into Tinseltown class.
Now they're ready to make
their RuPaullywood
red carpet debut.
Gentlemen, start your engines,
and may the best woman win.
- Coming up...
- The shape is all wrong
for you.
You're gonna get lost in it.
- It was makeup for me.
It was just awful.
- Make a silhouette
and perfect it.
- Hello.
- Is that too much to ask?
- [laughing]
- Commence shake...down.
First up, the queen on
everyone's lips...
Roxxxy Andrews.
Foxy Roxxxy.
- Ooh,
and the hips don't lie.
- Aww...
- I'm walking down the runway,
giving them a little bit of hip
and body...bam!
This is exactly what I would
wear to an awards show.
- All that ass.
- Like to spend a night
in the Roxxxy.
- She has a huge opening...
weekend.
And her box office
ain't bad either.
[laughter]
Jinkx Monsoon.
- I'm ready for my close-up,
Mr. Demille.
- I'm serving 100% aquamarine
Grecian red carpet couture.
I am in heaven right now.
- I dream of Jinkx.
- Loofah, my ass!
[laughter]
Detox on the red carpet.
Oh, it's severe up in here.
- Well, now we know where
last season's backdrop went.
- Yes!
- I'm serving
Jem and the Holograms,
acid punk,
going to the Met gala,
and I feel really sexy
and gorgeous.
- Just another day in Hollywood.
She's detoxing from crack,
by the way.
[laughter]
Ivy Winters!
The ladyboy in red.
- I feel really amazing
because I know that
the garment
is completely hand-stitched,
and it's Hollywood
red carpet couture.
- Isn't she giving Jean Kasem
and...
- And Janice Dickinson.
- Janice Dickinson.
- Yes.
- Let's have lunch at the Ivy.
For your consideration,
Honey Mahogany.
- LaBeija.
- I'm serving Iman,
and I'm stomping my heart out
down the runway.
- The men love me,
the women love me.
[laughter]
- You can catch more flies with
Honey Mahogany.
Jade Jolie.
- I can see her
peacock-cock-cock.
- [imitates NBC chimes]
[laughter]
- I'm serving the judges up
red sequins in your face.
[giggles]
I am a million bucks,
and nothing can bring me down
right now.
- Here's lookin' at you, kid.
Alyssa Edwards.
Wow.
- She's all about the drama.
- It's very drama-filled.
- The bird flew the coop
on this one.
- Yes.
- I'm serving dark and twisted
Alyssa Edwards realness.
My blood is flowing
and my heart is pumping,
and my mind is in it
to win it.
- Somebody took the Black Swan
and mated with the matador.
- And now we've got bird flu.
- Yes.
Penny Tration.
- [laughs]
Yes, please.
- Penny for your thoughts.
- I'm walking slow and letting
them take
all the Penny Tration in.
And I make sure
they can get to see
the backside of Penny Tration.
- You better sissy that walk,
girl.
- All right!
- You better sissy that walk.
- Hey!
- I wonder if she has a twin.
She'd be double Penny Tration.
[laughter]
- Coco Montrese.
- Action!
- She is ready for her close-up.
- Somebody blow into those
bullhorns.
- I know.
- I'm booking it down
the runway,
giving it to you.
I am serving you
old Hollywood.
White woman fish, baby!
- Now, she's a drag queen,
but she really wants to direct.
- Don't we all?
You, on top.
- Vivienne Pinay.
- Oh!
- Oooh!
- Cache spokeswoman.
- Uh-huh.
- I'm giving face,
and I'm giving body.
Hands down, I am the fishiest
b*tch in this competition.
- Very J.Lo.
- Mwah!
Box office gold.
She's ready
for the casting couch.
The 49th state...Alaska.
all: Oh!
- That's gorgeous.
- Is that a Birkin bag
or a Glad bag?
[laughter]
- So that dress is made of
plastic,
but I am treating it
like the most expensive
couture gown ever.
And I just wiggle my way down
the runway as best I can.
- She must have
a really big dog.
[laughter]
Alaska.
Oh, dear, I can see Russia
from here.
- Is that Sarah Palin
in that dress?
- It's Saran Palin.
[laughter]
Lineysha Sparx.
- Ooh, glamour.
- Balenciaga!
- Yes.
- She's really working it.
- That's how she walks
to the grocery store.
What are you talking about?
- My dress is full extravaganza,
and my design is flawless.
- And she's got a shoe
on her head.
- Oh, yeah!
- She has a foot up
on the others.
- She does, she's pumped up
the volume,
I'll tell you that.
She's got Lisa Vanderpump
on her mind.
[laughter]
Monica Beverly Hillz.
- Ooh! Look at those legs.
Legs forever!
- I'm feeling extra,
extra fishy.
My legs are bronzed
for the gods,
and I'm just eating it all up.
- She is serving Lady Miss Kier
in the face...you see that?
- Yes, she is, meets Lil Kim.
- Lady Miss Kim.
Serena ChaCha!
- Hey!
- From Panama!
- Panama City, Florida?
- Panama City, Florida...
- Via the Suez Canal.
- Yes.
[laughter]
- Serena ChaCha
is a drag scholar.
I feel avant-garde, couture,
editorial, like some sort of
surreal painting.
I'm giving them something
different.
- It's like Shakira meets...
- Pinocchio?
- Who you calling a lederhosen?
[laughter]
- Cha cha cha!
Welcome, ladies.
Based on your Hollywood splash
photo session
and your red carpet
couture presentation,
I've made some decisions.
When I call your name, please
step forward.
Jinkx Monsoon.
Detox.
Honey Mahogany.
Monica Beverly Hillz.
Vivienne Pinay.
Alyssa Edwards.
Coco Montrese.
To be America's next
drag superstar,
you need to snatch
the world's attention
at every turn.
And unfortunately tonight...
you are...
the S word.
Safe.
- I didn't come to this
competition just to be safe.
I am here to show people
I still got it.
- Anyone who says it's an honor
just to be nominated...
is one lying b*tch.
You may leave the stage.
Oh, ladies...
one more thing.
Don't call us.
We'll call you.
That's all.
Coming up...
- I'm wanting to like pull
things off of you
just so I can see more
of who's underneath there.
- What's exposed just looks
like boy.
It was all a mess.
- The time has come...
for you to lip sync...
for your life.
[laughing]
Ladies, you represent the best
and the worst of the week.
It's time for the judges'
critiques.
First up, Roxxxy Andrews.
- Out of all the dresses,
this is the one
that I would be wearing.
Absolutely gorgeous.
- Everything you've done
was just perfect to your curves,
and you revealed enough skin
to keep it classy.
Look at that!
- You just wanna show your ass.
- [laughs]
- I don't know
if you guys noticed,
but when I showed you my shoes,
they're RuPaul shoes.
- I noticed.
- And I found them
in the dumpster.
- What?
- What?
- Who would throw those away?
- I don't know.
- Thank you, Roxxxy.
Next up, Ivy Winters!
- Ivy.
Ooh!
- This dress is absolutely
gorgeous.
You sewed this whole thing?
- I did. I hand-stitched it
completely.
- I was looking at you
and I'm like,
where's the trash?
You kinda have to bring in
some kind of
unconventional material
into this challenge.
- Thank you, Ivy Winters.
Next up, Jade Jolie.
- Hey, Ru, hey!
- You have the sweetest,
softest voice.
- [deep voice] You've never
said that to me, Mike.
[laughter]
- I'm wanting to like pull
things off of you
just so I can see more
of who's underneath there.
There's too many details all
crying out for my attention.
- This is very much my
personality,
kinda like taste
the crazy rainbow kinda girl.
- What does the rainbow
taste like?
- Butterflies and unicorns?
- Yeah. Lisa Frank,
all that good stuff.
- Oh, I love it!
You are just a cute little
thing, aren't you?
- You're a cute little thing.
- I could eat you up
in one bite. Argg!
- All right, thank you, Jade.
Next up, Penny Tration.
What do you got to say for
yourself?
- I'm so glad to be here.
There's a lot to see.
Take a look.
- I think with the dress,
it starts to fall apart
after the bust line.
The left and the right look like
different shapes.
- I just think if you took this
front slit
and made it into a side slit,
I think it would have
been just more flattering.
- One thing I notice is,
your shading is very dark.
Black, dare I say.
- The black on the side looks
like a sideburn almost.
- Next up, Alaska.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Now, did you have any difficulty
putting this outfit together?
- Getting it on my body.
I don't have a zipper.
You can't really sew into
plastic.
- You know, the thing is,
you can take something
that costs nothing
and turn it into something
that looks like
a million dollars.
And you did it tonight.
- Thank you.
- Why no earrings?
- I lost them in the dumpster.
[laughter]
- I like the way you have
accessorized it.
I don't think you need
anything more,
'cause you've got
a lot of shimmer going on
because of the plastic
Saran Wrap.
- Thank you.
- Next up, Lineysha Sparx.
- Puerto Rico in the house.
- Que bella.
This is really elegant.
What is that?
- It's wallpaper, actually.
- Is it really?
- Yes.
- It's brilliant.
- I mean, really impressed
because that is not an easy
thing to work with.
And you made it look
really couture.
- I love the shoe as well
in your hair.
- Yes.
- Repurposed.
- That's really using
your head.
[laughter]
- I love the way you've created
this piece.
- This is because if I need to
do the lip synch,
I can do it like this.
[singing gibberish]
[laughter]
- Thank you, Lineysha.
Serena ChaCha.
- Hola.
- I had a little bit
of an issue
with what you're wearing;
I'm not gonna lie.
The shape is all wrong for you.
You're gonna get lost in it.
And then what's exposed
just looks like boy.
- It looks like you've done
your makeup
in a lighter shade
than your body.
And it almost looks like
if you pulled the head
off of one doll
and put it onto the body of,
like, a G.I. Joe figure.
And this collar really adds this
big weight
around your neck that separates
your head from your body.
- Can I see it without
the neck thing?
- It looks so much prettier.
- I wanna say that I'm open for
all the criticism.
And I'm making sure to put it
toward the next challenge,
whatever that may be.
- All right.
Well, thank you.
Well, ladies, I think we've
heard enough.
While you enjoy
an Absolut cocktail
in the Interior Illusions
lounge,
the judges and I
will deliberate.
You may leave the stage.
All right, kids.
Just between us "goils"...
let's start with Roxxxy Andrews.
- Roxxxy had a very convincing
couture red carpet look
and a great blend of fabrics
and unconventional materials.
- She combined goth with glam.
And I thought she looked great.
- Completely thought-out.
Like she knows what her shape
is all about.
- I do have a con
with Roxxxy Andrews.
I wanted to see more ass.
- [laughs]
- Ivy Winters.
- I mean, the dress
was beautiful.
But I really couldn't stop
looking at her hair
because I just didn't like it,
'cause this gown was
so "elegwent"...
"eloguent."
- You real "eloguent."
- That's my new word.
- You speak "eloguent."
- "Eloguent."
- Talk about couture.
I mean, she hand-stitched
that dress.
- As beautiful as the dress was,
where's the trash?
I didn't get that same kind of
feeling that I get
when I look at Alaska
or Lineysha.
- Lineysha's "eloguent."
- [laughs]
All right, let's move on to
Jade Jolie.
My goodness, Jade Jolie.
She had a lot on.
- I can't really tell where
her taste level is because...
- I think you can.
I think you can.
- She has a very fantastical
sort of outlook on life
about rainbows and unicorns
and all.
But I just don't think
it was very well ex*cuted.
- Let's talk about
Penny Tration.
- She came out
with a great attitude.
I get the whole Mae West kinda,
"Come up and see me sometime"
thing going on.
But then you kinda scroll down
a little bit.
- The padding was asymmetrical.
It looked like she had
a tilted pelvis.
Somebody call the osteopath
or something.
- [laughs]
- Make a silhouette
and perfect it.
- Hello.
- Is that too much to ask?
- It is not.
You could be a big girl,
make those proportions
work for you
and actually look couture,
and she didn't.
- Yeah, but it was the makeup
for me.
It was just awful.
- That was probably
the best part, Camille.
[laughter]
- All right, let's head on
to the 49th state,
Alaska.
- I wasn't really expecting much
from Alaska
based on her performance
in the photo sh**t.
But a little Saran Wrap
went a long way tonight.
The only thing is, it should've
had a little slit
'cause she had some difficulty
walking in it.
- My one thing was,
I would've loved to have seen
sparkly earrings up on that.
- Well, Michelle,
Alaska's not from New Jersey.
- [laughs]
- All right, let's move on
to Lineysha Sparx.
- What a gorgeous face
on this one.
- Yes.
- The gown was absolutely
gorgeous.
And when we found out that
it was wallpaper,
I was even more impressed.
- And to put a shoe, a pump,
in her hair,
I thought that was really fun
and whimsical.
- You're right.
And it could've very easily been
a disaster.
- But all in all, she's what
we call a TP.
- A total package,
that's right.
Let's talk ChaCha,
as in Serena ChaCha.
- Oh, God.
She literally
was drag Pinocchio.
It was lederhosen.
It was really like I was waiting
for yodeling.
It was all just a mess.
- She was showing so much of
this kind of, like,
oiled up chest.
- And it was like a little boy
with a costume on.
- I think that
she has to start thinking
about her tiny, little body
and the way she's gonna
execute her fashions.
- Well, she ex*cuted this
fashion.
[laughter]
- She sure did.
- Silence!
I've made my decision.
Bring back my girls.
[laughing]
Welcome back, ladies.
I've made some decisions.
Ivy Winters, your red gown
looked like it was ripped from
the pages of Vogue.
You're safe.
Alaska,
you had this challenge
in the bag.
You're safe.
- Thank you.
- Roxxxy Andrews,
you dove deep
into the dumpsters
of Beverly Hills
and made rubbish
look ravishing.
Condragulations.
You're the winner
of this challenge.
[applause]
You receive a custom gown
by Marco Marco,
plus immunity from elimination
next week.
- Are you kidding me right now?
I'm on cloud nine.
Suck that...aah!
Thank you
for believing in me.
- You may join the other girls.
Lineysha Sparx,
you lit up the runway
in classic Hollywood glamour.
You're safe.
- I thought that
I was gonna win.
But whatever.
- Serena ChaCha,
on the runway
you moved like Jagger,
but your red carpet look
was "coutorture."
I'm sorry, my dear, but you are
up for elimination.
- Oh, crap.
You really messed up.
I do not wanna be the first
person sent home.
This cannot f*cking happen
at this point.
- Penny Tration, we love your
dangerous curves.
But your red carpet couture
veered off in the wrong
direction.
Jade Jolie, you didn't wear
your dress.
It wore you.
But still, your personality
shined through.
Jade Jolie...
you're safe.
- [exhales]
Thank you guys so much.
- Wait.
Hold up, mama.
May I give you a word of advice?
- Yes.
- Edit.
- Edit?
- That's right.
- Thank you so much.
- Penny Tration, I'm sorry,
my dear, but you are up
for elimination.
- [deep breath]
I'm disappointed
because there are
a lot of people who really
wanted me to be here.
And I'm letting them down.
- Two queens stand before me.
Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me
and save yourself
from elimination.
The time has come for you to
lip sync for your life.
- This is my last chance
for the world to see
why I deserve to be here.
You better work.
Like, you better work.
That's it.
- Good luck.
And don't f*ck it up.
- ♪ I hopped off the plane ♪
♪ At L.A.X. with a dream
and my cardigan ♪
♪ Welcome to the land
of fame excess ♪
♪ Whoa,
am I gonna fit in? ♪
- I absolutely have never
performed
Party in the USA.
And I'm really just focusing on
doing the best job I can
with what I've got.
- ♪ Everybody seems so famous ♪
- The stakes are really high
right now.
Like this is
the real, real race.
And all I can think of
is deliver.
- ♪ Taxi man ♪
♪ Turned on the radio ♪
♪ And the Jay-Z song was on ♪
♪ And the Jay-Z song
was on ♪
♪ And the
Jay-X song was on ♪
♪ So I put my hands up ♪
- Serena is turning the party,
girl.
And then, ooh!
She drops into a split.
Now, I know this is
every girl's old faithful,
but she did it the right way.
- ♪ Got my hands up ♪
♪ They're playing my song ♪
♪ I know I'm gonna be okay ♪
- I'm looking at Penny
and I'm wondering,
"Why does she keep
turning around?"
- She didn't know the words.
You know, that's an old-school
drag queen trick.
When you don't know the words,
turn around,
do something
to distract them.
- ♪ Put my hands up ♪
♪ They're playing my song ♪
♪ The butterflies fly away ♪
♪ I'm noddin' my head ♪
♪ Like "yeah" ♪
♪ Moving my hips
like "yeah" ♪
- I'm thinking Penny Tration
is going to turn it out.
I was wrong.
[chuckles]
- ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ It's a party in the USA ♪
[cheers and applause]
- Ladies, I've made
my decision.
Serena ChaCha...
Shantay, you stay.
You may join the other girls.
- [crying]
- Penny Tration, even though
this isn't
the Hollywood ending
you dreamed of,
never, ever stop
reaching for the stars.
- Don't worry about that.
- Now, sashay away.
- Thank you all.
[applause]
Given the circumstances,
I don't have any regrets.
I don't think there's much else
I would've done differently.
And I'm not sure
that there's much else
I would be able to show them.
And my family's
already proud of me,
regardless
of what happens here.
- My lucky, lucky 13,
condragulations.
Now remember,
if you can't love yourself,
how in the hell you gonna love
somebody else?
Can I get a "amen" up in here?
all: Amen!
- All right,
now let the music play.