13x13 - Nice Girls Roast

[bunniefuu]

[RuPaul] Previously on [/i]RuPaul's Drag Race…

You'll create and brand
your own soft drink.

-Yeah!
-Action.

Is your blood sugar low?

-[burps]
-[both laugh]

[RuPaul] Utica.

I didn't exactly know what your soda did.

[RuPaul] Tina Burner.

-[Michelle] What I'm getting from you…
-Hell, yeah!

…was a bit of predictability.

-[RuPaul] Rosé.
-[Ross] [/i]The commercial is textbook.

And it was funny.

-[RuPaul] Symone.
-It's a branding challenge,

and I can still see your logo.

Condragulations. You're the winner
of this week's challenge.

Rosé, you are also the winner
of this week's challenge.

[queens cheering]

Utica, shantay, you stay.

Tina, my dear, sashay away.

-Oh, Tina.
-Tina.

[Gottmik] My Tina Burn-turn.

[Olivia] [/i]Tina just went home.

It's heartbreaking
because Tina has been such a great sister

in this competition.

Tina!

She won our hearts.

I fully thought that I was going home.

When RuPaul called my name, I was shook.

And I feel really bad about it
because I… I…

I think Tina deserves
to stay more than I do.

And she's so awesome.

You know, like,
it hurt me to see her go home.

But for me,
it feels really good to lip-sync

and, like, I had
a lot of fun with Tina there.

What did you guys think?

[Gottmik] [/i]Utica is so confusing.

She'll full lip-sync for her life,
and come back, like, sobbing.

But when you ask her about it, she's like,
"It was such an honor to lip-sync."

"I love lip-syncing so much."
You're like, "Hmm?"

You made a really interesting choice.

You played a character in that,
and it served you well.

I'm not gonna sit here and tell you,
"You slayed the lip-sync,"

when I don't think you did.

I thought Tina slayed
that f*cking lip-sync.

Well, we're gonna miss you.

-[Gottmik] Oh!
-Love you, Tinta Burnter.

I cannot believe I sent
the great Tina Burner home.

I will say
I am tapping myself on the back.

Tina is so talented and so established,

and mama booted her off
the pedestal. So, aah!

I think we might have
a new lip-sync assassin on our hands.

[laughs]

[Kandy] Well, we all fit
on the couches now.

Miss Double Win. The two winners.

-[Gottmik] Congrats, you guys.
-That's stunning.

I think we all thought
that you were gonna win this,

and well-deserved,
but it gags me that I won it too.

Maybe next time it'll be a triple win.

I wanna win so f*cking bad.

[Rosé] [/i]Tina's now gone,
so Kandy's the lone competitor

who hasn't had a win.

Like, red flag. Alert. SOS.

Being now the top six,

safe is just not cutting it anymore.

There is no more safe. If you're
not on top, you're in the bottom.

Bitch, that crown
is right there in the middle,

-and we're all, like…
-Aah!

[imitates devouring]

So as we're winding down
to the end of this competition,

my strategy is I just wanna
put my best foot forward

and I want to trip everyone,
so I can get to the top.

Bring on the crown.

[exclaims]

[RuPaul] The winner of [/i]RuPaul's Drag Race
receives a one-year supply[/i]

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics

and a cash prize of $100,000.

With extra-special guest judge, Loni Love.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

[tires screech]

[screaming indistinctly]

[Kandy] Yes!

So it is a new day, and I am so excited.

I just got my fourth win
in this competition.

It feels great. We're in the home stretch.

But it's also like,
this is still RuPaul's Drag Race.[/i]

Anything can happen.

[alarm blaring]

-Okay, let's get it going.
-[RuPaul] Ooh, girl![/i]

She done already done had herses.

Good girls finish last.

-Oh?
-So who you gonna be?[/i]

Miss Goody Two Shoes?

Or hell on heels?

Uh-oh.

I'll meet your ass at the parking lot.

-[Utica] Oh.
-I'm ready. [laughs]

Hello, hello, hello.

[cheering]

My queens, for today's Mini Challenge,

you need to star
in your own live makeup tutorial

on how to create the perfect glam selfie.

-[Rosé] Mm.
-Yes.

[RuPaul] And lucky you
gets to feature the new Norvina palette

from Anastasia Beverly Hills.

[Kandy] Werk.

Oh, and here's the best part.
You'll be doing it in pairs.

-Oh!
-One of you will be the face,

and one of you will be her arms.

-Werk.
-[Symone] Oh yes.

Okay, queens, partner up.

-We're together?
-I'd love to.

[laughs]

Okay, you've got ten minutes
to get into quick drag.

No, wait. Nine-and-a-half minutes.

Oh, shit.

-Go!
-[screaming]

I could really use Tina right now,
'cause I need some beard cover.

[all laughing]

Queens, say hello to the president
of Anastasia Beverly Hills, Norvina.

Norvina, thank you for supplying
all of this season's gorgeous cosmetics.

-My pleasure.
-[RuPaul] All right.

Remember, the queen
with the funniest face wins.

Hit it.

Hello to all of my friends,
fans, and followers.

Of course it is me, your girl Samantha.

We are trying out
the Norvina collection right here.

I want to start
with some loose setting powder.

Okay, we've got a lot of this.
Okay, so we've got this lovely-- Uh-huh.

[all laughing]

Okay. Mm-hmm. This is great.

So now, it looks like
I wanna do a nice, uh, tangerine.

[both laugh]

And start with this base. Ow.

Wow. [laughs] Feels good.

And I'm gonna finish that off
with some green. Wow.

Okay, on the other side.

-[laughing loudly]
-We've got two lipsticks here.

Just add it right in there.

And remember,
you can always overdraw your lips

for a sexy, pouty look.

-So I'm just gonna overdraw over here.
-[laughing]

I'm just gonna use this lipstick
to actually-- Oh, okay.

Why not make the glue colorful?

That is fantastic.

I'm feeling absolutely stun-alina
with my Norvina.

-Ooh!
-I think we have our new slogan.

Mmm.

Symone and Olivia Lux.

I'll be showing you
how to go from plain Jane

to the ebony enchantress.

We gonna go right in this eye,
this eye right here.

Whoa. Uh, right-- Yes!

Then we're gonna go
underneath the eye apparently.

How do you accomplish
the perfect smoky eye?

Well, let me show you right now.

-[laughs]
-We're gonna start from the chin.

Right on this lovely jawline.

[laughs]

Ru, this is exactly how we test
our makeup at headquarters.

Really? So no animals, just drag queens.

-Exactly.
-Pow, baby!

[RuPaul] All right, Gottmik and Utica.

Hello, my little gorgalintresses.

Lately I've seen some really
f*cking nasty-ass selfies,

so I'm here to show you
how to beat your face for the gods

and get the correct selfie.

[laughing]

[Olivia] [/i]Already it's hilarious
'cause Utica's arms are like that.

And… I'm gonna do it now.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, there we go.
-[all laughing]

Test out the powder, making sure
it's a real good consist--

[all laughing]

Just roll that on.

To finish off this look,
we're gonna grab eyelash glue

to really bring everything together.

-[laughing]
-We're gonna grab my lips again.

If you glue your lips,

doesn't it look like I'm a Jenner now?

[laughs loudly]

And pose.

[Utica laughing]

-It's actually cute.
-[laughs] I think it's cute.

Seems like a normal Gottmik face.

[all laughing]

Norvina, please do the honors.

The winners of this week's challenge are

Rosé and Kandy.

[cheers and applause]

You've each won $2,500 worth
of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics.

-Oh, werk!
-Thank you.

Queens, thank you
for trying my new palette.

Now, Norvina,
as an extra-special surprise,

Kandy and Rosé are gonna do your makeup.

-Oh!
-[laughing]

-I hear my Uber.
-[laughing]

Ladykins, we live in a time
when a simple act of kindness

can go a long, long way.

But there's always room

for a little bit of well-ex*cuted shade.

Am I right?

So for this week's Maxi Challenge,

we're throwing a Nice Girls Roast.

-Yes!
-[laughs]

Pig optional.

[laughing]

Oh my God!

I don't know anything about roasts.

I've never been to a roast.
I do not wanna roast, bottom line.

And the nice girls you'll be roasting
are three Miss Congeniality winners.

Oh!

Joining us live and in person will be

Heidi N Closet.

-[all laughing, cheering]
-Got 'em.

America's sweetheart, Nina West.

-[exclaiming]
-[Olivia] Werk.

And the forever fan favorite

and face-mask pioneer,

Valentina.

[Kandy] Yes!

"I'd like to keep it on, please."

She was right, I was wrong.

-There.
-[laughing]

Growth, RuPaul, growth.

Thank you, Dr. Fauci.

[all laughing]

Oh, and, Rosé and Kandy,
since you won the Mini Challenge,

you get to decide the order
that the queens will perform.

Ooh.

Ooh, dear.

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

-Yes!
-[Symone] Roast it.

Lord have mercy, help me!

Child, I'm not funny.

Honey, this is not the gig.

-[Rosé] Roasting up a storm.
-[Gottmik] Oh my God.

It's getting hot in here, baby.
It's a roast.

Our Maxi Challenge is…

[imitates fanfare]

…a f*cking roast.

Kandy, should we talk first?

Yeah, let's break off.

[Rosé] [/i]Kandy and I get to pick the order.

That is f*cking iconic,

because your placement in a roast lineup

can make or break you.

So seeing all the girls
that are left, and us two--

Well, we get to decide
where we go, like, down.

The first question is
when do you wanna go?

Often in this competition,

girls have the authority
and they forget about themselves.

No, bitch, me and Kandy
are going for ourselves first.

The coveted spots usually
are the first and the last.

I don't know. I kinda wanna, like, open.

Why do you wanna open?

I feel like I can come out really strong,

set the bar really high with energy,
and, you know, be really shady.

I also would love to open
and set the tone, set the energy.

-I do not wanna close.
-[Rosé] You don't wanna close.

I'm not witty enough
to write my own jokes on the spot,

so if any bitch says my jokes
throughout the roast,

I'm gonna be like, "Oop…"

That's why if I go first,
I don't gotta worry about that.

I do my job and keep it stepping.

Like, I know you are really--

Like, just basing it off
of your winning challenge,

you're really good with the jokes,

and you can hold any placement.

Tea, but I mean,
the last has a bit more pressure.

I could close. I could close. Um…

Rosé, oh my God. It's risky.

Take a f*cking risk, bitch.

We're at the end. This is the top six.

Don't f*cking play safe. Girl, go last.

So f*ck it, I'm going last.

We're responsible
for making the night feel good.

Like, let's say I were to open, right,
and Gottmik were to be in the middle,

and then you were to close, the energy
stays put throughout the entire night.

I like that idea.

You wanna kind of keep the show
high at the beginning,

high in the middle, and high at the end.

You don't wanna have a boring-ass show.

-All right, girlies.
-All right, so…

So we decided I'll open the show.

[gasps]

-Uh, Symone will be second.
-Okay.

-[Kandy] Utica will be third.
-Cute.

-Mik will be after Utica.
-k*lling it.

Then Olivia, and Rosé will close out.

-Oh.
-All right.

Y'all was in the corner
and y'all thought to put y'all selves

in the two most challenging places
in this roast?

All right, bitch.

Hey, listen, if you wanna do it,

you wanna put it on yourself,
hey, have at it, honey,

'cause it ain't me. So do it, honey.

We're having ourselves a roast.

Werk, baby.

[Gottmik] The LA hos need to represent.

[Symone] We do.

I do not wanna f*cking roast.
I do not wanna roast.

I know. Literally same.
That was my exact thought process.

But here we are,
and now we have to make it work.

I'm a nervous about myself.

The only roasts I've seen
are the ones in my mama's Crock-Pot,

so this is a new experience.

I know there are girls here
who are, like, just naturally funnier.

I must deliver.

[Olivia] This will definitely be
a challenge for me,

'cause I definitely think I have a problem
with being too, like, sweet with things.

Really? Sweet? Have you ever been sweet?

I think I'm gonna end up doing well.

I think I'm gonna do well.

It's not my thing,
but who's to say what's my thing?

-[laughs]
-Get it!

I'm very confident

that you're gonna do very well
in this challenge.

I think I'm the most worried
about Olivia in this challenge.

She is so delightful,

but you need to be savage in a roast.

-[both laugh]
-[Rosé, indistinctly] …so wide…

[whispering indistinctly]

[laughs]

Oh, that's good!

[Rosé laughs]

Okay.

I'm just reciting over
this lovely material.

Oh, I cannot wait, my love.

[Rosé] Baby, give yourself life.

-Oh, I need a can of Liv[e] from Olivia.
-[Kandy] You'll be in the bottom.

-[laughs]
-[Olivia] I was safe.

[Rosé] You would know.

You would also know,
the one that has the most safe.

[Rosé] Most safe? You mean most top?

[Kandy] I mean, you could be in the bottom

or in the top all you want.

Neither of you are gonna win.

Kandy, let's not focus on winning
until you can win something, baby, okay?

-Oh!
-Excuse me. I won two Mini Challenges.

Baby, that's the only thing
mini about you, okay?

[all laughing]

-Wow.
-You are quick, bitch.

[Kandy] She gonna be quick to exit.

[laughing]

I'm a little bit nervous,
because I've done a roast before,

and it wasn't so great.

But I love reading these b*tches,

so I'm ready to do this roast,

and I'm ready to finally win
a f*cking Maxi Challenge, okay?

-Hi!
-Hey, Kandy girl.

It is time to meet
with the comedy coaches,

Miss Michelle Visage and Loni Love.

Are you ready to roast?

I'm ready to do something.

-[both laugh]
-[Michelle] Let's do this!

Give it to me.

Aah! Okay.

Um, so for Valentina,
I was gonna say something like…

[clears throat]
"Well, I think it's pretty funny

that we're doing a roast
for the Miss Congeniality,

seeing that we have a Miss c**t-geniality

with us here tonight."

[Michelle] Right.

-Is that too harsh?
-I don't-- It's not too harsh.

I just don't know if the TV-land people

-are gonna let the word "c**t…"
-Ooh.

Hence "charisma, uniqueness,
nerve, and talent."

Probably not, right?

And you don't wanna be bleeped
your whole thing.

Right, right, right, right.

Also, make sure we hear those.

Make sure we understand
what you're saying.

I'm trying so hard to enunciate my words,

because sometimes, you know,

my Bronx accent comes out, bitch,
and I'm talking so fast

you can't understand what I'm saying.

Just slow it down so we can hear it.

Okay, okay.

-Hi!
-[Michelle] Hey, Gottmik.

-Are you ready to roast?
-[Gottmik] No.

It was actually
the number one challenge going into this.

I was like, "If they have me roast,
I'm gonna die."

All right.
Well, I'm ready to see what you got.

Okay.

Love.

This is gonna be me
going through the cards.

I know. Where is it, Gottmik?

So maybe we start…

Start with the honorees.

Yeah, let's start with the honorees.

I have one that's kind of
Kandy and Valentina,

so I was gonna kind of go to Kandy,

and be, like, "Kandy Muse…"

Mm-hmm.

"Kandy girl, you've lip-synced more times

than Valentina has attempted
to block the words 'Rent Live'

-on social media."
-[laughs]

-Okay. You like that.
-That's funny.

[Michelle] Are you kidding?
That's hilarious!

-[Loni] That's funny.
-Okay. Good to know.

-Let's hear what else you have.
-[Gottmik] So I wanna say,

"We don't all have our brand given to us
the day we were born."

"Michelle popped out,
and the doctor smacked her ass

to see if she was alive,

and the word 'whore'
just popped right out."

That's cute. You got some good stuff.
What we don't wanna hear is, "Um, okay,"

"What I was gonna say…"
We don't want that.

-No.
-If you think it's not funny

and you apologize when you deliver it,
it won't be funny.

No.

-[Loni] Olivia Lux!
-What up?

How are you today?

I'm not gonna lie.
I'm a little nervous today.

I think sometimes
I am a little, like, too nice.

Yeah. We all know how nice you are.
That's what we fall in love with.

Your smile and your curly hair
and your sassy attitude.

So I think if you could
surprise the crap out of us

with some hard-hitting jokes,
it would be really fab.

[Olivia] Okay, let's do it.

"Nina West wanted to be
on Drag Race [/i]so bad,

she auditioned 28 times,

and there's only been 13 seasons."

-Okay.
-[Olivia] Um…

"Valentina spends
over six hours doing her face,

two of which are her looking
at herself in the mirror,

singing 'I Will Always Love You,'

but still six hours."

All I hear is crickets. I'm, like…

Give me one for Loni.

I wanna talk about
your, um, engineering degree.

But is that funny?

[Olivia] Um…

Okay. Tough audience.

We know you could do cute,
so we just need more.

You can use that cuteness
to, you know… [exclaims] …s*ab 'em.

You could, you know, shank 'em.

-We need more funny.
-Believe in yourself.

After this rehearsal,
I got a lot of work to do.

"Molly, you in danger, girl."

Very much so.

Rosé! So why don't we start
with the honorees?

Nina West is here,
uh, which is no surprise,

seeing as Nina could be sitting in Texas

while her shoulders
are in Arkansas and Louisiana.

[laughing]

Nina West's shoulders are so wide

that, uh, she makes Tina Burner
look like Valentina.

[laughing]

Heidi's actually really, really thirsty.

My boyfriend actually, at one point,
had to send her a cease and desist.

-Ooh!
-[Rosé] Yeah.

It wasn't nearly as complicated

as when her makeup brushes
sent her a restraining order.

[laughs] Oh my goodness.

And that's about as far
as I've gotten in my flow.

-Really good. Find a way to shorten that.
-[Rosé] Sure.

[Loni] 'Cause it's so funny.

Your punches are so punchy
and good and hard.

-Yeah, you seem really prepared, Rosé.
-I can't wait to see it.

Okay, well, thank you so much.

-It's gonna be a good show.
-Cheers.

After the coaching,
I'm feeling really confident,

and it feels great.

Look at me. I'm holding
the microphone right now. Damn.

-[Michelle ]Hey, hey, Symone-yay.
-Hey, y'all.

Are you ready to roast, baby doll?

I'm a little nervous to do it
'cause I've never done a roast before.

-Take it as far as you can.
-Okay.

If it's not funny, we'll tell you.

All right, I'm gonna start with Nina.

I'm so happy you could join us tonight.

You know, I know that the bridge
has been a little, you know…

Less people have been
walking across in these hard times.

But now that you're here with us,

I guess it's… You're welcome.

-Explain that.
-Troll under the bridge.

Oh! Okay. Wait, we're gonna have
to explain that, so I would lose that.

-[Symone] Lose that one?
-Yeah.

[Michelle] What else you got?

Uh, thank you, Kandy,
for that marvelous introduction.

It's from Hocus Pocus.[/i]
It's my favorite movie.

Oh, okay. Great.

"But tell me something, my love."

"When you were standing alone
in the back of the stage

looking at all the girls
who've won a challenge,

did it remind you of being
in 'VIP' or alone in 'VIP'?"

'Cause it was the, um, the meme.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-I think you're an overthinker. So when--
-Yes. [laughs]

When you're thinking about, "It's a meme,"

-you don't need that.
-Okay.

Always better to go right for the jugular.

Go right to it, yeah.
'Cause it was, like, long.

-You just wanna hit 'em.
-Yeah.

Be Symone.
Use that character to tell your joke.

Okay.

-[Michelle] Hey, Utica!
-Hi!

-[laughing]
-[Michelle] Are you excited?

-I am excited, yes.
-[Michelle] Okay.

I know you're gentle by nature.

Do you think you can roast these beasts?

Underneath, I think there is

-a bubbling evil exterior-- Uh, interior.
-[Michelle] Good. Fantastic.

So, RuPaul, you have been bonkers

over Symone in this competition.

You know, I think you both could
make a really good couple.

You know, Symone and Pumbaa.

Pumbaa? Pumbaa, you know, like, Lion King.[/i]

What? [laughs]

It's not a funny joke, Utica.

-Have you seen Lion King?[/i]
-Yes! I have children, Utica!

You sure do look like it.

Let's hear what you got for Nina.

All right, Nina West.

[howling]

Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you could speak whale.

[Utica laughs]

You like that, Loni?
Can you speak whale too?

Very mean. Very, very mean.

I wouldn't do this.

That could be very offensive.

Does that trigger you?

Does it? Whales? Manatees?

Does Dumbo ring a bell to you?
No, I'm sorry.

Wow.

-[laughs]
-It's harsh.

Even though it's a roast,
it still has to be funny.

Just mean doesn't work,
you know what I mean?

My taste level when it comes to humor

is I love when it's just accurate.

Like, I love, like,
really good observations

and just a little bit of truth to it.

Just think it through
of what is funny and what is mean.

-Mean never works.
-Yeah.

Okay, Utica, you got some work to do,

so we're gonna release you
to go get to it.

-Thank you.
-[Loni] Good luck, Utica.

-[Utica] Bye, squad.
-That's gonna be complicated.

Yeah.

[gasps] Ew.

[laughs]

-Gross.
-[Symone] How'd it go?

-Utica.
-[Utica] Hey, squads!

I made, um, a Lion King [/i]joke,

and Michelle was like, "I don't get it."

[chuckles] It was so funny.

Michelle was looking at Loni like,

"What the f*ck's happening?
What's happening?"

But it was a really good time.

Oh, so you feel the same way

you felt during Snatch Game
and your commercial?

[laughing]

Utica's biggest weakness right now

is that Utica does not agree

with anything the judges
have been telling her.

She thinks that her art
is just the peak of life.

♪ I'm a dumb, dumb bitch
I'm a f*cked up bitch ♪

I think I'm gonna do really well
in this challenge.

I have some pretty strong jokes,

and this is gonna be authentically me,

and I'm ready to make this roast a blast.

-Whoo-hoo!
-Let's get this roast a-cookin'!

Roast day, bitch!

We are back in the Werk Room,
and it is time to roast, baby.

Who's hungry for a roast?

[laughs]

I am feeling better than I did yesterday.

However, you can prepare
as much as you want,

but when the lights, the camera,
the action come on,

it is anyone's game.

Yo, it's gonna go past really quick,
'cause there's only f*cking six of us.

Which could be a very good thing for us
or a very bad thing for us.

Baby, it's gonna be a bad one for you.

Huh?

-[Rosé] Uh-oh, sh*ts fired.
-[laughs]

The roast is absolutely not anyone's game.

There are stronger roasters
in here than others.

I know that the strong points
are gonna be Kandy, Gottmik, and myself.

Baby, I'm about to look
like a f*cking woman today.

I can't wait to see it.

Oh, baby, you've seen it all season long.

-Have we?
-Y'all look like drag queens.

[laughs]

[Rosé] And you look like a man.

[all laughing]

Oh, I'm ready to wear this hair, honey.

[Kandy] Oh, baby.

[Symone] Come on, lace!

-[Kandy] Come on, lace!
-Ooh!

If y'all don't roast Olivia
about her damn lace on that damn wig

with them ponytails
sticking out of her head,

you deserve to go home today.

[Utica] But you still won that week.

Bitch.

My plan in going into today's roast

is basically to shock the judges

even more than a girl
that you expect is gonna do well.

I definitely came into it
terrified of the roast.

But I definitely feel like
I found my rhythm,

and I'm feeling like
I finally got the comedy voice

that I've been looking for,
so I'm excited.

Werk.

-Utica, how are you feeling?
-I think my jokes are fun,

and I'm confident
that I'm gonna do well in this.

I feel like, well, if I have fun,

like, they're gonna have fun with me. Uh…

I don't know
about her material for this roast.

I've heard a couple of jokes.

She's been a little off lately,

so I'm not sure what to expect,

and she's still, like,
grinning from ear to ear,

can't wait to roast the dolls.

I'm hoping
that she doesn't turn it up too hot.

So, has anyone, like, had a moment
where comedy got them through a hard time?

-Well, have you?
-[Symone] Um…

Yeah, in a way.

Like, being drag just brings a lot of joy
and fun and comedy into my life,

and it's definitely lightened
my self-imposed load,

if I would say, on myself.

-Ooh!
-[all laughing]

Y'all nasty, and y'all need help.

I definitely think comedy
gets me through a lot of things in life.

I think I use humor sometimes as a way
of coping with things that hurt me,

and I think that that's why now
I love making people laugh.

It is my greatest joy on this Earth
in this little body to--

-Little?
-[Rosé] Thank you.

Um, to make people laugh.

Nothing makes me feel more complete
than to bring people joy

and to hear the tangible laughter
that comes with that.

Agreed.

Especially as q*eer folks
and POC q*eer folks,

it can be a definitely a difficult time
in the outside world,

and it's the small moments at bars

that we have with one another,

laughing and talking
over a drink and a drag show

that really make our bonds so special.

Mm-hmm. Or sometimes just a drink,
because the drag show f*cking sucks.

[all laughing]

Yeah, we've been to your shows on Monday.

Aah!

-[laughs]
-Oh, she's a comedy queen!

[Rosé] We'll see.

Not all of us can be a self-proclaimed
comedy queen like Rosé.

Baby, the reviews
have been in for years, honey.

[Olivia] Years? It sounds like
a lot longer than I've been doing drag.

It sure does.
Thank you for reading yourself.

-[Kandy] Baby!
-[laughing]

The pressure's on.
The pressure cooker has been turnt up,

and we just gonna have to see
who's gonna be fully cooked

or if it's just f*cking roasted, my love.

["Cover Girl" playing]

[RuPaul's laugh echoing]

♪ Cover girl, put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe, let your whole body talk ♪

♪ And what? ♪

Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.[/i]

She's sugar and spice
and occasionally nice,

Michelle Visage.

You know what, Ru? Thank you for noticing.

-[laughs]
-[Michelle] Thank you.

[RuPaul] The hilarious Ross Mathews.

Ross, do you like being
the butt of the joke?

Ooh, that sounds fun.
I'd like to try that.

[all laughing]

Everybody say Loni Love!

Now, Loni, can you take a joke?

Only if I can have
that outfit, girlfriend.

[all laughing]

This week we challenged our queens

to show off their comedy chops
at our Nice Girls Roast.

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

Welcome to the first-ever
Nice Girls Roast.

Please welcome
Miss Congeniality Season 11, Nina West.

Hey, that's me!

[imitates flatulence]

Miss Congeniality Season 9, Valentina.

[all laughing]

¡Escandalo!

-Hi.
-[all laughing]

[RuPaul]
And our reigning Miss Congeniality,

Heidi N Closet.

[queens cheering, applauding]

-Ooh.
-Werk.

[funky music playing]

[all laughing]

Now, what shady thing

could you possibly have to say
about these angels?

Hmm.

Let the roast begin.

Hey, y'all!

[cheering, laughing]

[Kandy] Ooh, bitch,
don't I look gorgeous tonight, huh?

Y'all, my name is Kandy Muse,
and I ain't a nice girl.

I'm a… I'm a naughty girl, ooh.

Oh!

Listen up, bitch.

Welcome to the Nice Girls Roast, bitch.

Tonight we have the privilege and honor

of roasting our amazing
Miss Congenialities.

[cheering]

Ain't no audience tonight.

Mm-mm.

Michelle, don't that remind you
of your old concerts from back in the day?

-Oh!
-[all laughing]

[Kandy] Just empty.

[all laughing]

First up, the incredible Valentina.

Hello.

You know, you and my drag mother
have so much history together.

But she got one thing correct, baby.

You're perfect, you're beautiful,

that performance in Rent: Live[/i]
was rough, bitch.

[all laughing]

Your angel needed an angel.

[all laughing]

Hello, Miss Nina West!

Hi!

You make my good Judy Miss Tina Burner

look like such a petite woman

with those big-ass shoulders
you got, bitch. Whoo!

I know that Drag Race[/i]
is the Olympics of drag,

and, baby, you the stadium.

[all laughing]

How can I forget our sweetheart,
Miss Heidi N Closet?

I don't know what's worse.
Your fashion on Season 12…

No, ain't nothin' worse than that.

-[all laughing]
-[Kandy] Ain't nothin' worse than that.

All right.

[laughing]

Hello, judges!

-Hi!
-Hi, Kandy!

[Kandy] I don't know what's scarier,

waiting for my test results at the clinic

or waiting for a critique from the judges.

I know at least one of them
will come out positive.

[all laughing]

How could I forget about

our amazing special guest judge,
Miss Loni Love?

Hey, Kandy.

How does being an extra on Soul Plane[/i]

land you this big-ass gig
on RuPaul's Drag Race[/i]?

[all laughing]

-Hey, Ru!
-Hi!

Y'all, RuPaul is so old,

Jurassic Park brought back memories.[/i]

[all laughing]

RuPaul's so old, I told her
to act her own age, bitch…

she died.

[all laughing]

[laughing loudly]

[Valentina] [/i]Miss Kandy Muse
from the Haus of Aja.

Her little daughter
that came out her… [click tongue]

…to make fun of me,

and the bitch did a good job.

And then Latinas are in the house. Hey!

If you enjoyed my set, thank you so much.
If you didn't enjoy it,

you're not gonna enjoy
the next bitch after me.

-[all laughing]
-[Kandy] I love her to death.

She is a fashionista

with the voice of a f*cking gargoyle.

Give it up for Miss Symone-Symone-yay!

Whoo!

[sighs] Kandy Muse,

thank you for that marvelous introduction.
Mm!

Now, I do have a question for you.

Last week, when you were standing
in the back of the stage

looking at all the girls
who've won a challenge in front of you…

[laughing]

…was it-- Did it remind you
of standing alone in the "VIP"?

[chuckles]

[Symone] Oh, goodness, gracious.

Mm, mm, mm, mm.

But speaking of losers,

we have our esteemed panel
of congenialities here tonight.

We have Miss Valentina.

We gotta talk about that controversy.

Oh yes. Mm-hmm.

You didn't know them words
to that lip-sync.

-No.
-You let that happen.

Uh-uh.

[smacks lips]

Symone is bombing. It's like time stops.

Time is stopping right now.

Miss Loni Love.

Hey, Symone!

Hey!

Now, you is an author, an actress,

a TV host,

and you're a former electrical engineer.

But then you somehow were so good at it,

you engineered your ass
onto this judging panel.

[sighs deeply] Oh God.

-Miss Ross "The Boss" Mathews.
-Hi.

The gayest one on this panel.

Thank you.

And that gets me,
because you sitting next to a man in a wig

that's been pulled, plucked, and prodded.

No, that's not you, Miss RuPaul, okay?
I'm talking about Michelle.

[all laughing]

Now on to my girls.

Oh-livia.

Now, I told you

that you remind me of the girls
back home, and that's poor.

But…

[all laughing]

Heidi's here tonight,

so you have one thing to know,

that you are not destitute, okay?

Oh my!

Symone is gorgeous.

I just wish her jokes
were as good as she looks.

[laughs]

I can't even spell that.

I guess it's time
to bring up our next queen,

straight from the Minnesota Institute
for the Criminally Insane,

give it up for Utica Queen.

[queens cheering, applauding]

Oh, Symone, I thought I was the one
who had the balls to b*mb that hard.

[all laughing]

[Utica] Great job, Symone.

The judges love you so much
in this competition,

especially Ross.

You know, Ross and Symone, I think
you guys would make a great couple.

Symone and Pumbaa.

[scattered laughter]

Hakuna matata!

Ross, you know I love you.

You are so gay
that you don't shit on the d*ck,

you Skittles on the d*ck.

[exclaims disgustedly]

You're so gay they should, uh, uh…

they should make the whole, uh-- Ooh.

They should take Celebrity Big Brother[/i]

and make it Celebrity Big Brother[/i]
with Benefits.[/i]

[scoffs]

This is hilarious,
and not hilarious because it's funny,

but hilarious because this bitch
is bombing all of her jokes.

Okay, okay, okay. Now that, you know,
I got my balls out of the way,

and I'm bombing. I know, I know.

Nina West.

Oh yes!

[howling]

Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you could speak whale.

[scattered scoffs, chuckles]

Heidi, you really remind me
of the people I grew up with on the farm,

gap-toothed and full of bull semen.

-What?
-What's happening?

Girl, huh?

Valentina, you are such a beautiful sista,

but you have this diva attitude
that's really hard to swallow.

I do.

It's just as hard to swallow
as Loni Love's comedy career.

-Oh!
-[Loni laughs]

You're the one bombing!

[all laughing]

No!

-I love it!
-You like that? You like that, RuPaul?

I mean, RuPaul,
you are such a fashion icon.

If you could stand up for us, please?

[all laughing loudly]

Oh, bitch.

Utica tanked the roast really hard.

I don't even know
how you crawl out of that.

And now it's time to bring up
the amazing Gottmik.

She's so small, her shoe size
is the same as her IQ, six.

Give it up for Gottmik!

-Jesus Christ.
-Molly, you in danger, girl.

There's definitely tension,
and it's my turn, and I'm scared.

Goodnight, goodnight.

[RuPaul] [/i]Welcome back
to the Nice Girls Roast.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Wow. How will I ever follow that one up?

[all laughing]

Ugh. After your set,
I really realize that it's so fitting

that your name begins
with the letters name U-T-I,

because you make me
extremely uncomfortable,

and I feel like I need a full bottle
of pills to forget about you.

[all laughing]

Heidi N Closet.

-Hi, my love. How are you tonight?
-Hi!

You lip-synced more times
than our angel here, Valentina,

has attempted to block the words
"Rent Live" on social media.

-Ooh!
-[all laughing]

But moving on to our judges. Hi, you guys.

[judges] Hi!

Loni Love. I just cannot believe
I am standing up here

presenting my comedy in front of you.

I knew there was gonna be
budget cuts this season,

but I didn't know it was
gonna affect the judges' panel too.

[all laughing]

[Gottmik] Oh! Mm, mm, mm.

-Hi, Ru.
-[RuPaul] Hi!

-How are you?
-Good.

I am such a huge fan of you and your work

and all of your hit song.

[all laughing]

[mouthing] Just one.

Hi, Ross.

Hi!

I love you so much,

and you are the only person
I have ever met that watches porn

and cums when the pizza gets delivered.

[laughing]

[Gottmik] What is up with that? Ugh!

-You got a point.
-Well, did you guys have fun with my set?

-[all] Yes.
-Yes, all right.

Well, hopefully my laughs
will get you through the awkward silences

on the next bitch's set. Yeah.

So give it up for Olivia Lux!

[cheering]

[laughing]

This is so fun. Thanks, gorg!

Yes.

I know, I know what you're thinking,

the polite queen roasting, uh…

Eh-- I didn't come here
just to be Miss Congeniality.

You see where that gets you. [giggles]

-[all laughing]
-I came here to win,

something Kandy Muse
has yet to do in a Maxi Challenge.

[laughs] All right, the judges.

Hi, judges.

-Hi.
-Mama Ru. [laughs]

Mama Ru, the patient zero of drag queens.

[all laughing]

Mama Ru is so old,

her first drag name was in hieroglyphics.

[RuPaul laughing]

Mama Ru is so old,

she signed the Declaration of Independence

as parent/guardian.

[all laughing]

Nina West.

Nina West wanted to be on Drag Race[/i] so bad

there's only been 13 seasons,

and somehow she managed
to audition 38 times.

[laughs]

Valentina.

I noticed Valentina's eyebrows
are like tally marks.

One, two, three, four, five, um, six, um…

It's like she's counting
how many times I've been in the bottom.

One, two, three, four…

-Oh.
-Whoa.

Well, look at your brows, girl.

[all laughing]

[Olivia] Well, thank you, everyone,

and if you didn't like my set,
my name's Michelle Visage.

[all laughing]

All right. The next queen,
she's wearing silver tonight

because in our lip-sync,
she came in second place.

[laughs]

I sent her home once,
and I can't wait to do it again.

Let's give it up for Rosé.

[queens cheering]

Everyone, listen, my name is Rosé,

and before I get started, I do want us all

to give one more massive round
of applause for Miss Olivia Lux,

who, after what we just experienced,

will now forever go
by the name "Olivia Sux."

[all laughing]

Valentina, I… I can't believe
I'm standing on this stage with you.

I credit a lot of my love
for polish and perfection today

to watching Valentina
while Season 9 was airing.

And coincidentally, during All Stars [/i]4,

I too realized
that I am completely f*cking delusional.

-Yes!
-[laughs]

Nina West is here, everybody!

[queens cheering, applauding]

Nina West's shoulders are so wide

that in high school,
she auditioned for the school play

and got the part of the stage.

[all laughing]

Now, Heidi and I are actually friends.

Heidi and I got to know each other
last year in New York.

We've hung out a few times,
and how you doing, Heidi?

Blessed and highly favored--

[Rosé] So we've been talking
for about ten seconds.

This is the longest on record

that Heidi has ever waited
before trying to f*ck me.

-Ooh!
-Oh, girl!

-Heidi, is it true?
-Lies!

-No, it's not lies, baby.
-Lies!

The only thing
that is thirstier than Heidi N Closet

are her makeup brushes, okay?

[all laughing]

Yes. Oh, RuPaul,
you always look beautiful,

and I'm really proud to announce

that it's not the only thing
that we share in common.

I, uh, want you all to know that Ru and I

are both actively working
in the music industry.

One of us is a recording artist

and one is a singer.

[all laughing]

All right, everybody, well,
listen, I've had a great time.

But before I leave,
I want to leave you with some words.

Uh, well, actually, it's for you, Kandy.

Kandy, I'm really proud of you
for what you've done this season,

but mostly for tonight,

because I know it takes tremendous courage

to show up to a roast
when you are a roast.

Thank you, I'm Rosé.
Have a wonderful night.

[queens cheering]

Let's hear from our guests of honor.

Any final words?

Y'all so kind, so kind to me.

Thank you so much.

Being the current
reigning Miss Congeniality,

I want to say this as nice as possible,

and it comes deep from my heart, okay?

[sniffles] f*ck you, f*ck you,
f*ck you, and--

Not you, you got the checks. And f*ck you!

[all laughing]

I'm actually here tonight

to return the title of Miss Congeniality.

I tried it for a year,
but I'm too much of a diva,

so I'll take Miss French
Vanilla Fan Favorite Fantasy.

[all laughing]

Kandy Muse is here,
Kandy Muse from the Bronx… Zoo.

[all laughing]

Remember this, guys, go big, be kind,

and if you're nice,

you could actually end up
on stage with these beasts.

Thanks for having us.

[queens cheering]

[RuPaul] Welcome, queens.

It's time for the judges' critiques,

starting with Kandy Muse.

You started the roast tonight,
and that's a tough position,

but you set the bar tonight.

Bitch, she died.

I compared everyone after you to you.

You were so funny,
and you felt, like, in the zone.

I laughed from the beginning to the end.

We were howling over here,
and that's what it's about.

You had the energy, the confidence.

You were my Don Rickles tonight.

You look great.
I live for this extremely cinched moment.

I would have liked a little bit more hair
maybe on top of your head.

But your roast was so good

that you deserve praise for that.

Well done, Kandy.

Thank you.

All right, up next, Symone.
You look gorgeous.

Thank you. [laughs]

Symone, you have been so funny
in so many challenges,

so I was really looking forward
to seeing you.

And you did have
some funny lines in there.

It was the setup and the punch.

It just never fully took off.

When we were talking to you,
Michelle and I,

we said to shorten your jokes
a little bit.

Just remember, short is sweet is better.

You were overthinking it.

Your cards were getting in the way.

One thing led to another,
and it just became a spiral.

I know exactly what I want.
I know exactly how I want to execute it,

and when it doesn't go that way,

I kind of shut down a little bit.

I have bombed many a day,
and believe me, I just hang in there.

-All right, thanks.
-Thank you.

-Up next, Utica Queen.
-Hello.

I was very interested
to see how you would do roast,

because you're all about joy
and positivity, and you went in.

In a roast, nothing is off limits

as long as it's funny.

And I felt like
some of these were just observations

and kind of harsh.

When you came out,
that first joke was very, very funny.

…balls to b*mb that hard.

But once you lost
your footing a little bit,

we could tell that your go-to
is to get a little mean to save it.

And you wanna try
not to be mean, but cut and funny.

-Yes.
-[Michelle] It's a fine line.

That's what Loni and I
were trying to tell you.

I'm still learning what is comedy
and what is offensive.

When it got off the rails,

I started, like, grasping for straws

and trying to save myself.

Maybe not your comfort zone.

A big swing, a bit of a miss.

I'll tell you this.

This might be my favorite look
you've done all season.

-I really love it.
-Thank you.

It's so gorgeous,
it's so Upper East Side society lady.

I wish I could say the same about yours.

-f*ck you.
-[all laughing]

[Utica] If I'm gonna take anything
from this competition,

it's that I got two sets
of middle fingers from you,

-so thank you.
-I gave you this too.

[all laughing]

This is the nastiest hand gesture ever.

-Ever.
-Bonus!

-It means "I love you."
-[all laughing]

All right, up next, Gottmik.

Out of everyone that we coached yesterday,
Michelle and I,

you listened, and it paid off.

I thought it was really strong.

Your joke about me was
my favorite about me tonight.

…cums when the pizza gets delivered.

I feel seen, Gottmik!

There's a reason why my sorority name
was Meat Lover's Supreme, all right?

The way you delivered some of the jokes
were very Phyllis Diller.

I think you have a future in stand-up.
I really do.

Oh my gosh, thanks.

Coming in here, this was the one thing

that I was, like,
"I do not want to do a roast."

I was, like, "Absolutely not."

I feel like I have found
this gorgeous little way to read people

that I didn't know I could do.

It is the 'mones. They get me going.

[all laughing]

-Yeah, blame it on the 'mones.
-Yes, if I had a nickel…

I'd have one nickel.

[all laughing]

Okay, thank you.

Up next, Olivia Lux.

From day one I've just been obsessed
with how likable you are.

That is a tough thing to be in a roast.

I thought you did have
some jokes that landed,

but I don't think it fully worked.

You know, when you came on stage,

even the little walk that you did

felt kind of like an apology.

It was almost like a disclaimer.

I definitely knew that I had this,
like, sweet, you know, character.

I like the idea of, like,
turning it all the way up,

and then k*lling them with kindness
and being, like, "She said that?"

But in such a sweet way.

You felt that you fulfilled the challenge?

I feel I fulfilled the challenge.

Hmm.

-All right, thanks.
-Thank you.

All right, straight from First Avenue
in Minneapolis

after a headlining set with Sheila E

and the New Power Generation, it is Rosé.

[Michelle] I love that outfit.
It's a fun look.

Thank you.

You came out tonight, and you owned it.

I think you ex*cuted it beautifully,

and you were the only one without cards,
so you deserve credit for that.

It was a great set,
and you had to close the show,

which is the hardest thing to do.

Rosé, you were my Joan Rivers tonight.

Olivia Sux.

Your transitions were so smooth.

But during rehearsal, you were better.

When I first started doing stand-up,
I would have to do two shows a night.

So I'd do my first show, and if I k*lled,
the second show was always different.

Just remember
to never take anything for granted.

I also think you have everything.
You have the total package.

You are ready to just keep performing.
Good job.

Thank you, Loni.

Thank you, ladies.
I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck backstage,

the judges and I will deliberate.

Okay, just between us squirrel friends,
what do you think?

Starting with Kandy Muse?

[chuckles] Oh, our Kandy Muse
knocked it out the park, son!

[all laughing]

Kandy gave us that
old-school corner-club vibe.

I loved it. I felt like
I was right back there in 1975.

Tonight was fantastic.

She set the bar
from the beginning of the roast,

and no other queen topped her.

I just am so proud of Kandy, I could spit.

-Mm-hmm.
-[Michelle] But I won't.

[laughs]

[RuPaul] [/i]Symone.

Tonight, for me,
Symone sort of fell on her face.

There were some jokes hidden in there,
but she wasn't selling them.

Her setups were really long,

and then the punchlines were cute,
but it took so long to get there

that you weren't even, like,
interested in laughing.

[laughs]

I do, however, wanna give her credit
for staying in character.

However, that character
really didn't help her

get through all of the losses
that she suffered with those jokes.

This just wasn't her night.

I was happy to see her leave the stage.

[RuPaul] [/i]Utica Queen.

Boo!

[laughing]

Boo!

When we were coaching her,
we were trying to help her.

And we were saying,
"Hey, don't be so mean."

She's gotta find a way to listen.

Just wasn't funny tonight.

[RuPaul] [/i]Moving on to Gottmik.

This one has the goods.

It felt easy watching her.

She felt like
she planted herself at a podium

and she, like, delivered it to us.

You know, the best comics
are able to take the stage,

and within a few seconds,
let the audience know

exactly the point of view
that they're coming from.

Yes. Her jokes were fire.
They were hitting.

She automatically knew
what she wanted to do.

I just wanted to see more of her.

[RuPaul] [/i]Olivia Lux.

She came out there and said, "I am nice."

"I'm not used to doing this."
We're like, "Girl, snap out of it,

'cause you have to get up there
and roast."

It could've been great,

'cause, you know, when Betty White
delivers a real zinger,

and you're like,
"Oh, that was so unexpected!"

-Yeah!
-She could've had that moment.

She relied on just being cute
without delivering the joke part.

There were a few.

The section with you was great.

Parent/guardian.

[Michelle] But that was it.

She is so likable, and so lovable,
and watchable, and sweet,

but it's starting to be one-note.

Mm-hmm. All right, Rosé.

Rosé knows what she's doing on stage.

She's got that presence
that just is so commanding,

that voice that's, "Hello!"

I wanna look at her,
I turn my head to see her,

and you can't deny,
she's meant to be up on that stage.

I thought she nailed it tonight,

but she definitely
was funnier in rehearsal.

I think the silence of the room
threw her off.

And then she kicked it in,
and then it was a home run.

This girl is like Bianca.

-She can do whatever--
-Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my queens.

Chop, chop.

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Rosé.

Tonight, you were Sheila E-larious.

[laughing]

You are safe.

Thank you.

Step to the back of the stage.

Symone.

You were a vision in 24-karat gold,

but your set was tin-roof rusted.

I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.

Kandy Muse.

You're right,
this is the Olympics of drag,

and tonight, you won the gold.

Condragulations. You're the winner
of this week's challenge.

[screaming, cheering]

[Rosé] Finally, bitch! Werk!

[Symone] You better werk, bitch.

You've won a cash tip of $5,000.

[squeals] I won a challenge!

And, baby, I am Miss Comedy Queen.

[laughs]

Gottmik.

Your roast was gorg.

[laughs]

-You're safe.
-Thank you, guys.

Olivia Lux.

Tonight you were consistent,

consistently one-note.

Utica.

You started off with a bang,

but you ended up
sh**ting yourself in the foot.

Olivia Lux.

-You're safe.
-Thank you.

You may join the other girls.

Utica, I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.

I'm not surprised that I'm in the bottom.

However, I'm excited to lip-sync again.

That's where I come alive.

So bring it on.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me

and save yourself from elimination.

-The time has come…
-[thunder rumbles]

…for you to lip-sync

for your life.

She has sent two people home,
but this is my place here,

and I'm about to have to fight
to stay here.

Good luck, and don't f*ck it up.

♪ Right now, I'm in a state of mind ♪

♪ I wanna be in, like, all the time ♪

♪ Ain't got no tears left to cry ♪

♪ So I'm pickin' it up, pickin' it up ♪

♪ I'm lovin', I'm livin'
I'm pickin' it up ♪

♪ I'm pickin' it up, pickin' it up ♪

♪ I'm lovin', I'm livin'
So we turnin' up ♪

♪ Yeah, we turnin' it up ♪

[laughs]

♪ Ain't got no tears in my body ♪

♪ I ran out but, boy, I like it ♪

♪ I like it, I like it ♪

♪ Don't matter how
What, where, who tries it ♪

♪ We out here vibin' ♪

♪ We vibin', we vibin' ♪

-♪ Coming out ♪
-[Rosé] Werk.[/i]

♪ Even when it's raining down ♪

-♪ Can't stop now ♪
-[Olivia] That's right, baby.[/i]

♪ Can't stop, so shut your mouth ♪

♪ Shut your mouth ♪

♪ And if you don't know
Then now you know it, babe ♪

-♪ Know it, babe, yeah… ♪[/i]
-Yes, Symone!

[Symone] [/i]I am just basking in the words.

I'm really trying
to punch this song in the face

and really show the judges
I want to stay here.

-♪ Ain't got no tears left to cry… ♪
-I am 1,000% determined to survive.[/i]

♪ Oh, I just want you to come with me ♪

♪ We're on another mentality ♪

-♪ Ain't got no tears left to cry ♪
-♪ To cry ♪

♪ So I'm pickin' it up, pickin' it up ♪

♪ I'm lovin', I'm livin'
I'm pickin' it up ♪

♪ Comin' out ♪

♪ Even when it's rainin' down ♪

♪ Can't stop now ♪

♪ Mm, hush ♪

♪ Shut your mouth ♪

♪ Ain't got no tears left to cry ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, I just want you to come with me ♪

♪ We're on another mentality ♪

♪ Ain't got no tears left to cry ♪

♪ So I'm pickin' it up, pickin' it up ♪

♪ I'm lovin', I'm livin'
I'm pickin' it up ♪

♪ Yeah, we're turnin' it up ♪

[cheering]

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Symone, shantay, you stay.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Not again. Not again.

You may join the other girls.

-Great job!
-[Symone chuckles]

Syracuse, Schenectady, Utica,

next stop, the world.

Keep on wiggling, sis.

Thank you so much.

And, Ru, I have one thing to say.

[all laughing]

Thank you, really, this has been magical,

and I love each and every one of you.

You're amazing, so thank you.

Now sashay away.

[queen] Utica Queen!

Well, when you think you can't, Utican.

-Love you guys. Bye!
-[Gottmik] Love you.

As I am sashaying away,
I'm feeling, honestly, happy.

For my first roast,
at least I know I have potential.

[chuckles] And I know
that I got some good zingers in there.

I don't know. Maybe in the near future,

I could become an expert roaster.

So that makes me happy.

You gotta wiggle to the top.

Condragulations, ladies.

And remember, if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna
love somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" up in here?

[all] Amen!

All right. Now let the music play.

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

[RuPaul] Next time on [/i]RuPaul's Drag Race…

You'll all be starring
in Henny, I Shrunk the Drag Queens!

[all laughing]

Hey, girls, how's it going? It's Scarlett.

[all screaming]

And action.

Jump!

[all screaming]

Oh! Ah-choo!

Help! Ah-choo.

You were so fun to direct.

This was, like, my wet dream.

This isn't enough for the final five.

[Symone] [/i]Things are
just falling apart around me.

I don't wanna disappoint anybody.

I don't want that to be my story.
[sniffles]

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Losers, weepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Finders, keepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Losers, weepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪