02x01 - Victim of Fashion

[bunniefuu]

[Jenny]
♪ 5:00, get a call
to go blading ♪

♪ at the skate park
down by the mall, ♪

♪ but my mom says ♪

♪ I gotta prevent
hostile aliens ♪

♪ from annihilating us all. ♪

Hyah!

♪ With the strength
of a million and 70 men, ♪

♪ I guess I really
shouldn't complain. ♪

♪ Still, I wish I could
go for a walk ♪

♪ without rusting
in the rain. ♪

♪ It's enough
to fry my brain. ♪

♪ So welcome to my life
as a teenage robot, ♪

♪ the story of my life
as a teenage robot. ♪

♪ My teenage robot life. ♪ ♪

[funk music]

♪ ♪

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

You space bikers
have short memories.

Earth is my turf.

[screaming]

All right, all right,
we'll leave.

Just give me back my bike.

Oh, don't worry.

You'll get every last lug nut.

[metal crunching]

My bike!

I'm going to total you,
robot girl!

[screams]

When will those
space bikers learn?

They're no match
for my weapons systems.

Oh, I look like the loser
at a demolition derby.

This will never do at fashion
conscious Tremerton High.

Here they come.

I can't let them
see me in this old thing.

[cheers and applause]

I never get tired
of the limelight.

Do you, Tiff?

Can't say
that I do, girl.

[buzzer]

[angelic music]

[all speaking]

Oh, that lowlife
stole our spotlight.

Oh, my gosh,
you are so beautiful.

Yeah, babe,
what's your secret?

Oh, it's
no secret.

I just got
a fresh coat of wax.

[Tiff]
You must go through
a lot of wax,

since you wear
the same thing every day.

Now, Tiff, be fair.

Wax is expensive.

Maybe she can't afford
fashionable clothes.

[giggles]

[all laugh]

[Tiff]
Poor baby.

[Brit]
No need to crowd.

You'll have another
chance to see

this ensemble
tomorrow.

And, the day
after that,

and, the day
after that, and--

[all laugh]

Oh, my gosh--

[dramatic music]

I do wear
the same thing every day.

How embarrassing.

[Brad]
Sounds pretty embarrassing,
Jenn.

[Jenny]
It was worse than embarrassing.

It was humiliating.

But it won't happen again.

It's time I crushed
the Krust cousins

once and for all.

I need an outfit that will bring
Brit and Tiff to their knees.

But how can
you compete?

The Krust cousins
have truckloads

of the latest styles.

But that's stupid fashion.

Just transform into
a giant hydraulic press.

Then you could crush
some manners into them.

Transforming isn't
the solution;

it's the problem.

I'm only programmed
for combat transformations,

not fashion makeovers.

Well, can't you
reprogram yourself?

I mean, you learn
new things in school.

Why don't you just
study up on the latest fashions?

Great idea.

We can do
a cram session
at my place.

I even have the new issue
ofFashionista magazine.

I have every single issue of
Fashionista ever published.

Uh, purely for their
collectors value,

of course.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

[clapping]

[crashing]

[funk music]

♪ ♪

[all speaking]

I must say,
I'm impressed.

You've taken yesterday's
fashion disaster

and turned it into today's
fashion catastrophe.

[all laugh]

Oh, this old thing?

I just wear this
so I don't freak the locals.

[funk music]

♪ ♪

Wait a minute.

Now she's got fashion growing
out of her floppy drive?

How we supposed
to compete with that?

Don't fret.

We've been the fashion divas
of this school

for too long
to give up so easily.

It's time we unleash--

the omega collection.

Well, boys,

looks like we got us

a down and dirty
fashion w*r.

Don't you have
your own school

to go to?

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[floor polisher whirring]

[g*n locking]

[g*nshots]

[all]
Yea!

[jack hammering]

[peaceful music]

[ominous music]

[peaceful music]

♪ ♪

[ominous music]

[cheerful music]

[ominous music]

[applause]

[bubbles popping]

[cheerful music]

♪ ♪

[ominous music]

[all speaking]

[girl #1]
Ow!

[girl #2]
Excuse me!

[Brit]
These gowns

are Jean-Philip
originals.

They haven't even
debuted in Paris.

At this moment,
it is impossible

to be more
fashionable than us.

Looks like Jean-Philip's
repeating himself.

I think I saw those potato sacks

in the secondhand store
last year.

[machine noises]

[clock chimes]

[cloth ripping]

[cheering]

Girlfriend, I hate
to admit it,

but our goose
is done well cooked.

There ain't no way
to win against

that funkadellic fashion freak.

Whatever we do,

her version
is bigger and better.

[gasps]

Of course--

in every instance,
that high-tech ham

has had to put on pounds of
gadgetry in order to b*at us.

But bigger
is not always better.

Huh?

Here's what we're
going to do--

[whispering]

[evil laughter]

Girl, that's good.

[evil laughter]

Whoo-wee, oh,
that's good.

[evil laughter]

[lively music]

♪ ♪

[flashbulbs popping]

[all speaking]

What fabulous outfit

will you be dazzling
your fans with today,

Ms. Wakeman?

Well, now,

that's for
little old me to know

and little old you
to find out.

[Brit]
Become quite the big sh*t,

haven't you?

A real fashion
heavyweight.

You're big girl
on campus, now,

wouldn't you say, Tiff?

[Tiff]
She is lookin'
a little

big for her bri-atch,
ain't she?

[all gasping]

Thin?

Is that all you got?

I can do thin
standing on my head.

[clears throat]

[machine noises]

Uh, I know, stripes.

Stripes are slimming.

[machine noises]

[all]
Ew!

That's not right.

I need to accentuate
my legs.

[machine noises]

[all laugh]

She looks like
a pineapple on stilts.

There must be
something in here

to slim me down.

[machine noises]

Poor thing.

Didn't she ever learn

not to mix polka-dots
and gunpowder?

[all laugh]

No, wait, don't leave.

I can do this.

[machine noise]

[glass breaking]

[Jenny]
Sorry!

I don't care!

Being up on the latest
trends is useless,

unless you
can fit the look.

And right now,
the look is thin.

But removing your
weapons systems?

Is that really
such a good idea?

[Brad]
Yeah, Jen, sounds
pretty risky.

I don't care!

It's better to be
fashionable than functional.

I want a slimmed-down look

that will make Brit and Tiff
look like stuffed sausages.

Take it out.
Take it all out.

[evil laughter]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[clattering]

[saw buzzing]

[lawnmower noise]

[vacuum cleaner whirring]

[buzzing]

[vacuum whirring]

[zapping]

[glass breaking]

Oops.

Tuck, you're too young
to be handling weaponry.

What?
No way!

So I made
one tiny mistake.

I'm still more
responsible

than you give
me credit for.

Okay, Mr. Mature,

you can be
on pile duty.

Pile duty?
Oh, boy!

What do I do?
What do I do?

Just stand there
and make sure all that stuff

stays in a pile.

Aye, aye,
captain.

[snoring]

Are we done yet?

Just a few more pieces.

There.

Okay, Jenn, that's it.

[gasps]

That's all I can remove

without compromising your
structural integrity.

[Jenny]
Yes!

Just wait until
they see me tomorrow.

[all speaking]

[engine revving]

Now that we've
outmaneuvered

that robotic twit,
fashion wise,

we can b*at her at
the transformation game.

[Jenny]
Hello, ladies.

How are you?

I'm thin, thanks for asking.

That's her most
radical look ever.

[all speaking]

Don't you people know,

the slim look
is so yesterday.

I simply must
give props

to my design team,
Brad and--oh!

Uh, a little help?

Thanks for the ups.

[expl*si*n]

Oh, my gosh.

[screaming]

[Pteresa]
Where is she?

Where's the metal monkey
who wrecked my bike?

Ah, there you are.

Get her!

Net catapult.

Come on, come on,
let's go.

Battle bazooka.

Mighty mallet.

Stop her!

Laser cannon.

Hey, there you guys are.

What happened
to my net catapult?

[Sheldon]
We took it out.

[Jenny]
What about my battle bazooka?

[Brad]
That's out too.

[Jenny]
Mighty mallet?

[Brad]
Nope, that's gone.

[Jenny]
Laser cannon?

[Sheldon]
That was
the first to go.

[Jenny]
There's nothing left?

Pretty much.

I believe your
exact words were,

"It's better to be
fashionable than functional."

Oh.

[cheering]

Look at these fools.

Don't they realize
they're cheering

yesterday's fashion?

Come on!

[crashing]

Hey, boss,

you want a leg
or a wing

from this turkey?

[Tiff]
Get out my way.

b*at it.

Make way for your
fashion superiors.

Oh, yeah, now there's
a cherry hog.

Come on, girls.

Let's get some hood ornaments.

[slobbering]

[engine revving]

Jenny, we gotta get
you out of here.

Oh--I--

What's wrong?

Behind you.

Oh, look, a couple
of guppies.

Hey, you're
kind of cute.

Why don't you
hang around?

Tammy, stop flirting.

It's time to turn
this backseat driver

into scrap metal.

[earth shaking]

[victorious music]

Get away from her,
you fish.

What is this,
amateur hour?

Sludge, take
out the trash.

Battle bazooka.

Olga, Tammy, knock the baby
out of his high chair.

Net catapult.

Mighty mallet.

Laser cannon--fire!

[gasps]

Phew--retreat!

Hey, mutt, I'm the only one
who orders a--

[zapping]

retreat!

[Brit]
Help!

[Tiff]
Help, somebody!

Oh.

[Brad]
Jenny,
are you hurt?

Just my pride.

I can't believe I almost
wound up on the scrap heap

for the sake of fashion.

No kidding.

How could anyone get hung up on
something as silly as fashion?

[girl]
Love your look.

[all speaking]

[boy]
What's your secret?

Oh, well, I'm inspired
by the classics.

I try to keep my lines clean
and my materials simple.

And I always put on a fresh coat
of wax before I leave the house.

[girl]
Of course.

[all speaking]

Why, that little--

he's taking credit
for my look.

Come on, we've got
work to do.

Oh, that Jenny.

[rock music]

♪ ♪