01x04 - Ear No Evil/Unlicensed Flying Object

[bunniefuu]

[Jenny]
♪ 5:00, get a call
to go blading ♪

♪ At the skate park
down by the mall, ♪

♪ But my mom says ♪

♪ I gotta prevent
hostile aliens ♪

♪ From annihilating us all. ♪

Hyah!

♪ With the strength
of a million and 70 men, ♪

♪ I guess I really
shouldn't complain. ♪

♪ Still, I wish I could
go for a walk ♪

♪ Without rusting
in the rain. ♪

♪ It's enough
to fry my brain. ♪

♪ So welcome to my life
as a teenage robot, ♪

♪ The story of my life
as a teenage robot. ♪

♪ My teenage robot life. ♪ ♪

Captioning and audio description
provided by the
u.s. Department of education.

[Bell ringing]

Clunk, clunk

[Background conversation]

[Screeching]

Hey, everyone,
I did it.

I finally did it.

I got my ears pierced.

Charming,
if a bit pedestrian.

Mine are pierced too.

See?
Real garnets.

[Yawning]

You do like shiny things,
don't you, jantrice?

I just got new hoops.

What do you think, tiff?

They a-ight.

[Flopping noise]

Tiff, you're looking
even more betty than usual.

What'syour secret?

Just gotmy ears
pierced...

Swish, swish

For the third time.

[Dramatic music]

Wow, just like ours,

Only better.

Hi, gals.

Jewelry: what a super
teenage subject.

Me?
I just got some new copper lugs
for my belly bolt.

Clink!
Spiffy, huh?

Yes, very spiffy,
frankenstein.

But I believe we were
talking about earrings.

Oh, gee.

If I had ears, I bet I'd
really like wearing earrings.

But you don't.

So go away.

Okay, we'll chat later,
gal pals.

Knowledge beckons.

[Groaning]

Hi, mom.

Hello, xj9.

So, mom, picture me with ears.

What do you think?

When can you build them?

[Laughing]

Xj9, you need ears

Like oppenheimer
needs gunpowder.

You were designed
with an auditory system

Decades ahead of its time.

Oh, you were so precious
when you were a prototype.

But, mom, without ears,
I can't wear earrings.

And without earrings,
I'm just a-a-a freak.

[Gasps]

Earrings?

I designed
a state-of-the-art, aerodynamic,

Streamlined,
crime-fighting r-robot,

Not some simple mannequin
to hang

With googols and gimcrackery.

Earrings, ooh,
the very notion.

Fine; I'll
build them myself.

[Loud slam]

Uh, closet.

[Loud slams]

[Groans]

[Tapping]

There you go, gomoga.

Good as new.

Thud, thud

Jenny?

Thud, thud

I'll build ears myself.

But I don't know how.

Don't need mom's help.

Thud, thud

Doing!
Swish!

[Galloping and screeching]

Hey, jenny.

[Giggling]

Oh.

Oh, hi, sheldon.

I didn't see you.

I guess I'm too preoccupied
trying to figure out

How to build--
doing!

Sheldon, you build all sorts
of gadgets and stuff, right?

Smart guy like you.

So good with his hands.

Building a set of robot ears
would be a cinch for you.

Doing!

Clink!
Robot ears?

Sure.

Got everything I need

Right here in my garage--

Er, workshop.

Oh, sheldon,
let's go.

[Rubber band stretching]
doing!

So as you can see, it's
a relatively simple procedure.

We choose the look
that's right

For your
particular features.

Uh, for instance,
"the debutante,"

"The forest sprite,"

"The modern primitive,"

"The van gogh"--

This one's half-price.

[Laughing]

Because it's, you know--
there's just one.

I'm going to let
you choose, sheldon.

When can we start?

Right--

[Muffled]
now.

[Industrious music]

♪ ♪

[Whip cr*ck]

[Scribbling]

[Tapping]

Ka-ching!

[Tapping]

[Rustling]

Clink!

[Drilling noise]

[Sawing]

[Hammering]

[Crackling]

[Funk music]

♪ ♪

Hi, girls.

Just got
my ears pierced.

[Words of praise]

Well, I'm off to class.

See ya.

[Laughing]

[Funk music]

[Squirting]

[Glass shattering]

Hey!

Hey.

I'll get it.

cr*ck

Here you go.

Thud

Swoosh

[Wind whistling]

Uh, jenny,
what in the--

Impressive,
aren't they?

Hugely impressive.

[Mr. Smelhaus]
turn around, miss xj9.

Class has started.

Doing!

[Suppressing laughter]

Gee, are you okay,
mr. Smelhaus?

[Muffled]
mm-hmm.

Just a cold.

[Snorting and guffawing]

[Laughter echoed]

Gesundheit.

[Swanky music]

♪ ♪

[Male robot]
hear ye, hear ye.

From this day forward,

All thine earthly treasures

Shall be given
as tribute unto me,

The great and powerful lancer.

Yeah?
And what if we don't wanna?

Then ye shall feel the wrath
of my mighty lance!

[Rocket noises]

[Screeching]

[Clinking]

[Screeching]

[Clinking]

Doing!

[Whirring]

Whoosh!

Whoosh!

Whoosh!

Whoosh!

Whoosh!

[Rattling]
whoosh!

[Crying]

Whoosh!

[Screaming]

[Clinking and evil laughter]

[All]
gosh, did you see them?

[Laughter]

Hi, brad.

Uh, jenny, i--

Hi, stephanie.

Looking fine, jenny.

Hi, jantrice.

Phat ear wear, jenny.

Hi, pa-teresa.

It's pronounced tuh-resa.

As in pterodactyl,
the "p" in pteresa is silent.

Although if anyone
could hear it,

I suppose
it would be you.

Come again?
Oh, nothing, really.

Swish!
Why, you can tell me.

Swish!
I'm all ears.

[Suppressing laughter]

Are you guys okay?

[Beeping]

Zoing!

Hi, mom.

Xj9, I need you to--ooh!

[Suppressing laughter]

Xj9, you're needed--
[suppressing laughter]

Downtown--
[suppressing laughter]

I-immediately.

You feeling okay, mom?

[Suppressing laughter]
just some sniffle.

Now get downtown--
[laughing]

On the double.

There's crime afoot.
Go, go, go.

Ping!
Poor mom.

Must be a bug going around.

Well, before I go,

I think there's someone
I need to give

A little credit
for the new me.

It was really nothing, jenny.

I mean, any brilliant,
misunderstood guy

With unbelievable
technical know-how

Would've done the same.

I hear ya, sheldon.

[Girls suppressing laughter]

You've got a gift for finding
the art in technology.

Well, I better fly.

[Brit]
nice prank, sheldon.

Prank?

Sure; attaching those oars
to the robot girl's hull.

Even I couldn't have guessed
she could lookmore absurd.

What?!

You're just jealous.

You can't stand that she's
a hero and beautiful.

I thought she looked great
even before the ears.

But she wanted
a little extra, I guess.

After all, who could deny
the majestic elephant

Its enticing tusks?

Or the gambling ibex
its graceful horns?

Whoosh!

Whoa!

[Flapping]

Whoosh!
Clunk, clunk

cr*ck!

[Laughing]

[Screaming]

[Crying]

Please,
mr. Lancer, sir,

This is the gold watch
I got for my retirement.

It's all I have left.

This cereal box prize?

How sad.

Just wait, you bully.

When that robot girl
shows up,

You'll be sorry.

Silence!

Being the lancer means

Never having
to say you're sorry.

Whoosh!

Clunk, clunk

Okay, lancer.

It's time to turn yourself over.

[Suppressing laughter]

[Laughing heartily]

I've seen a peanut stand.

I've heard a rubber band.

I've even seen
a needle wink its eye.

But I've seen
just about everything

When I see an elephant-eared
robot girl.

[All laughing]

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

What do you mean?

But everyone at school--

Nice earrings,
jenny.

Looking good,
jenny.

Uh--

[Suppressed laughter]

[Laughing heartily]

[Train whistle tooting]

Zap!

Zing!

So you want to play rough, eh?

[Rocket noises]

[Rocket noises]

[Flapping]

Whoosh!

Thud!

[Screeching]

Whoosh!

Clink!

[Laughing wickedly]

Foolish whelp,
did you really think

A large-eared bucket of bolts
could stop the lancer?

Zap!

Poof!

Clunk!

Swish!

Whir!
Crunch!

[expl*si*n]

[expl*si*n and cheering]

Clunk, clunk

Clunk, clunk

Thwack!

[Laughter]

Clunk, clunk

Uh, hi, sheldon.

Sorry about the ears.

They were great
while they lasted.

And they make wicked
crime-fighting weapons.

Jenny?

I hope you didn't take
any of that stuff

Brit and tiff said
seriously.

Y-you looked beautiful
in those ears.

I know, sheldon.

Too bad they were destroyed
in battle.

I guess I'll have
to go back to looking

Like my freaky old self.

Doing!

[Door shutting]

Okay, so we're
all agreed.

We broach
the ear subject slowly.

We don't want to upset her.

Uh-huh.

So, jenny, I hear
you got some new ears

The size of mount rushmore.

Slap
tink, tink

[Jenny]
no, tuck; I returned
the ears to sheldon.

Uh, you okay, jenny?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Sheldon took it
kind of hard, though.

He insisted
he make it up to me.

He says nose rings
are all the rage.

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Snorting]

[Boy simulating engine noise]

[Tuck]
it's johnny zoom gaining fast,

Heading into the home stretch.

Johnny zoom moves
into first place.

But wait!

There's a wet blanket
on the track.

Johnny zoom avoids disaster.

Vroom!

Pfew!

Vroom!

The final lap.

It's down to the wire.

It's--
[screeching]

Whoosh!

Oh, hi, jenny.

Hi, tuck.

I like your toy bike.

Toy? I've won
the playground 500

Two years in a row
with this baby.

[Brad laughing sarcastically]

Playground 500.

Yeah?

And what have you been

Driving lately, hotshot?

[Squeaking]

Pfft
what's wrong with brad?

He's just sore 'cause dad
won't let him drive

The new turbo wagon.

Why not?

'Cause he doesn't have
his license.

What about
my learner's permit?

How am I supposed tolearn

If I'm neverpermitted to drive?

But trying explaining
that to my dad.

I know.

My mom--i wanted to fly down
to the mall, but she--

[Brad]
sure.

The girl
with the rocket-powered toes

Knows what
I'm going through.

C'mon, jenny.

You can zoom
to the moon and back

If you feel like it.

I spend my whole life
going two miles an hour

On my stupid skateboard.

You want to try
my toy bike?

I think I may have something
a little speedier.

Ping!

Zip!
And skateboards, boys.

We have...jet packs.

Doing!

No way.

[Angelic music]
jet packs!

I can't believe it.

You're the coolest robot girl
I've ever known,

Not that I've ever known
another robot girl,

But still,
you're the coolest.

Uh, thanks.

So you guys want
to try 'em out?

[Beeping]

Zap!
Xj9.

Mom.

I was, uh,
just heading home and--

Stall your excuses, xj9.

I need you to check out
a spaceship sighting

In sector 38g.

No, say "good-bye"
to your little friends and--

Xj9!

Are those
my jet packs?

Okay, mom, I'll check out
that u.f.o. Then.

Bye.
Zap!

What a drag.

I got to go find
some stupid old spaceship.

See you guys later.

Whoosh!

[Whizzing]

It's got to be
around here somewhere.

How about
by that gas station?

No, that's
a tra--huh?

Brad, what are
you doing?

Duh.

Trying out my new jet pack.

I meant what are you doinghere?

Helping you find
the u.f.o.

You can't do that.

This is a very delicate
intergalactic situation.

Turn around
and go home right now.

Your lips say, "go home,"
but your eyes say--

Leave?

Look, brad.

This could be
dangerous.

I can't watch out
for you.

You don't have to.

I can take care of myself.

Okay.

I'm sorry if i--

[Tuck screaming]

Whoosh!

Help!

Huh, the nerve
of that kid

Bustin' in on
your galactic situation.

Whoosh!

Boys.
Whoosh!

Hey, there,
johnny zoom.

[Gasping]
thud

[Brad]
whoa.

We did it, tuck.

We found it.

We found the u.f.o.

Hold it.

That's far enough.

Now, don't move while I check
the surrounding area.

And keep an eye
on those jet packs.

Whoosh!

Doing!

Ping!

[Devious music]

Whoosh!

Whoosh, thud

Oopsy.

Gotta keep an eye
on that jet pack.

[Metal straining]

What are you doing?

Locked.

Key--key.

What we need

Is a key.

Aha.

Tuck, this is the adventure
of a lifetime.

Zap!

Don't let it pass you by.

What if it's full of salivating
space parasites?

That's cool; you wait
out here with all the lions

And tigers and bears.

Pfft!
Lions and tigers
and bears.

[Roaring]

Oh, my.

Bra-ad?

Zap, thud!

Where are you?

Zap!

Oh.

[Zipping]

[Liquid gurgling]

[Snipping noise]

Zip!

Brad?

[Tentative sound]

[Gasps]

Brad, what're
you doing?

You're going
to blow us up

Or vaporize us
or get us grounded.

[Door shutting
and engine revving]

Or get usungrounded.

[Engine humming]

Get us down;
get us down; get us down.

I'm trying;
I'm trying; I'm trying.

[Engine humming]

[Screeching]

Did that stop it?

No.

That did.

I thought I told you
to stay put.

Well, we tried,
but then you--

Put the ship down.

That's what i--
down!y]

But--
now.ny]

O-kay.

[Cranking and lift-off noise]

[Flapping]

[Rocket noise]

[Air turbulence]

[Rattling]

[Screeching]

Phew.

Okay,
that was painful.

So if that one is up,

Then this one
must be forward!

Zoom!

[Rattling]

Whoosh!

[Engine humming]

Brad, slow down.

Slow down,
[feedback]

Brad!

I said,

"Slow it--
[blaring]

Do-own!"
[Cracking]

In case you didn't
catch that--

Yeah, yeah.
I heard; I heard.

[Cranking]

[Screeching]

Whoosh!

Whoosh!

[Jet noise]

[Plummeting noise]

Wow.

This thing stops on a dime.

Too bad our baby-sitter can't.

What do you say we go find her?

[Muffled]
oh, no.

Zoom!

Swish, swish.

Zoom!

Zoom, zoom!

Zip!

[Exciting techno music]

♪ ♪

Zoom!

[Chomping]

[Crunching]

[Gulping]

[Engine and siren chirping]

Whoosh!

[Siren blaring]

Brad, bear in the air,
six o'clock.

Skyway patrol?

Nothing a little
sweet talk can't handle.

I'll just open
the hailing frequency.

Zip!

Zap!

Whoops.

Uh--
click

Zip, zip

Swoosh, swoosh!

[Exciting techno music]

Click, click

Swoosh!

Zap, zap

Zap, zap!

Calling all units;
calling all units.

In high-speed pursuit
of unidentified flying object.

Be advised; bogey is hostile.

Repeat: bogey is hostile.

Zap!

Zing!

Uh, brad?

They're sweet-talking us
right back.

Ping!
Ah!

There you are.

Ping!
Uh-oh.

[Honking]

Bogey has deployed
some sort of perimeter droid.

Fire at will.
Zap!

Pwing, pwing!

Zap, zap!

[Pounding]
open up!

Tuck, it's me.
Open up.

Zap, zap!

Thud

[Hatch shutting]
phew.

Xj9,

Where have you been?

The u.f.o. You were
supposed to take care of

Has gotten into a dogfight
with skyway patrol and--

[Gasps]

Xj9, are you onboard the u.f.o.?

You are!

Oh, of all
the irresponsible, immature--

Mom, I really
got to go.

Brad.

Brad?

Brad!

What?
W-what's going on?

You're done driving.

That's what's
going on.

Hey, who putyou
in charge ofme?

[Jenny]
you break into--

[Brad]
you've been bossing me--

[Plummeting noise]

[Talking over one another]

[Cranking]

[Plummeting noise]

[Woman]
I tell ya, karl.

I can't remember
when I've had a better time,

Don't ya know?

The weather's been divine.

And that day spa--ooh,
straight to cloud nine.

Yeah, well, personally,
I can't wait

To get off
this hick planet.

Bunch of rip-off artists,
these earthlings.

Five bucks for a cup of coffee.

No extraterrestrial discount
at the hotel.

And I know that bellboy
stole my tricorder.

I think earth is
simply adorable.

The natives are so clever;
they seem almost venusian.

Yeah, well,
they have good schnitzel.

I'll give them
that much.

Doing!

Karl?

Isn't this
where we parked?

Humans.

They're crooks,
every last one of 'em.

[Alarm chirps]

Zoom!

Swoosh!

Zap!

Wait here;
I'll take care

Of these hairless apes.

Zip!
I know you're in here.

Come on out,
and I'll go easy on ya.

So you want to do this
the hard way, eh?

Guess it's time to break out
the attitude adjuster.

A fly swatter?

Freeze, monkey.

I got ya covered.

Yeah?
What're you gonna do?

Swat us to death?

Huh?

Oh, yeah, well.

Zap!

There we go.

Guess you can't barbeque
anyone's brain

When it's turned off
now, can ya?

Yeah, well--

Say "good-bye"
to your frontal lobes.

[Woman]
karl,
put that thing away.

Honestly, you and
that fly swatter of death.

First bit of fun I've had
all vacation,

And she's
got to ruin it.

Let's go!

I want to be in romulet
by 5:00 to catch my stories.

Coming, dear.

Swoosh!

Well, I think we've both
learned something here today.

You learned to never interfere
with a driver at the wheel,

And I learned to forgive.

Tell you what;
let me keep the jet pack,

And we'll call it even.

How about this?

Hand over that jet pack,
and I won't kick your butt.

[Wakeman]
xj9!

You've got a lot
of explaining to do.

Stolen jet packs,
h*jacked u.f.o.s,

Police pursuits,

Interplanetary incidents--

Ooh, when we get home--

Don't blame jenny,
dr. Wakeman.

I'm the one who caused
all the trouble.

If it weren't for jenny,

Tuck and I would be halfway
to jupiter by now.

But I've learned
my lesson.

No more joyriding
for me.

Yes, well...

Come along, xj9,

And bring that other
jet pack with you.

Oh, here.
Let me.

Swoosh!

Tuck!
[Tuck screaming]

Xj9!

[Engine turning]
don't worry, doc. [Brad]

We'll catch 'em.

Just leave the driving to me.

[Gulps]

[Wakeman screaming]

[Rock music]