07x08 - A Recipe for Disaster

[bunniefuu]

[Kate] Previously, on Below Deck...

"Michael Blackton,
he and his college pals, Glen and Reed,

living their wild party days."

Let's go!

[man screaming]

[guests cheering and laughing]

"And they want us to speak to them
in pirate lingo."

I just wanna see pirates!

Them's that die be the lucky ones.

Totally.

Simone, I'm gonna have you on lates,

so it's gonna be more service than normal.

-Ooh, where did they go?
-You have to go find out.

Simone is a yachtie with no experience.

I understand you'll be leaving us today.

-Yeah.
-Yachting's not for quitters.

-[bleep].
-Get home safe, and all the best.

-All right.
-Thank you for everything, all right?

With Abbi gone, it's gonna make things
a hundred times worse.

It's just us for this charter,

so we're gonna have to pull through.

[bleep], g*dd*mn it.

We're probably gonna
have to get a doctor out here.

My knee is just getting
worse and worse and worse.

-Tanner's totally my type.
-No!

[Simone] I just have to focus on breathing

-when he is around.
-[both laughing]

Where would you like your gazebos?

And if you go shade here,

and then it's gonna be
all shade all the way through there.

I wish I did trust Kate,

but she's checked out
of the stewardessing side of things.

Welcome to my life.

[men laughing]

I have a new deckhand coming.

Do you have a copy of a CV

-that I can have a look at?
-Oh, you already know it.

[horn blaring]

[opening theme music playing]

[music playing]

[pirate noises]

[man cheering]

I have a new deckhand
coming for you today.

-Okay.
-With us so close to being down two hands...

Two men, yeah.

I wanna go ahead and get her on board
as quickly as possible.

Do you have a copy of a CV
that I can have a look at?

Oh, you already know it.

It's Rhylee.

[Ashton sighs]

We need the help.

[Lee] I chose to hire Rhylee back
because I know she's a hard worker.

So my choice, my call.
I'm bringing her back.

I know she had some issues
with Ross and Chandler.

You speak to me
condescendingly one more time,

I'm taking it to the [bleep] captain.

Just let me know when you need help.

I said I got it five [bleep] times.

Look, I think Chandler
was way over the top with her,

and I think
Ross didn't set the boundaries.

Maybe this'll be like
"Goldilocks and the Three Bears,"

and you'll be just right.

[Ashton] I'm not happy at all about this.

Rhylee is a very emotional person.
She's very reactive.

Is she gonna add more value
than somebody else

with a better attitude could have added?

No, she's not gonna.

I think she just
needs to be channeled properly.

Thanks for filling me in, Cap.

We'll be back to full speed soon.

Oh, what cocktails
are you making this morning?

The pirate's blood.

[he chuckles]

The pirate day... how basic of you.

Err...

Ohh... You got the best one, all right.

-Thank you so much.
-You're welcome.

Get an eye patch, get a parrot,
you get a sword, you get a hat.

Arrr!

Doesn't that get old after childhood?

You look so darn cute in that hat.

Mommy said I could wear
my pirate hat to school today?

[all laughing]

How are you?

Worse than yesterday. I've taken
a bunch of painkillers this morning,

I was like...

I'll be okay.

Deck check complete, all secure, Cap.

Copy that, thank you.

[pirate voice] Y'all ready
for our main voyage?

[pirate voice] Yes! Arrr!

[woman laughing]

[Ashton] Tanner, Tanner, Ash.

Come down to the crew mess
for a minute, please, bud.

-[Tanner] Copy that.
-To getting booty!

[guests cheering]

That's ****ing good!

Ahoy, Matey.

Just because your leg's...
we're not sure what's happening with it.

Cap's decided to bring the new deckhand in

once we drop the hook.

All right.

And it's somebody
that worked with me last season.

So yeah, Rhylee's gonna come in.

She likes to stay informed,

so make her feel a part of the team.

Yeah, well, she's part of the team now,
bro, so of course.

**** yeah, get the ball rolling.

-Right.
-Someone that you're interested in?

-Yeah, that's a hard no, not at all.
-Sorry, bud.

Now look, that's someone's
there's a lot of history with

-from last season.
-Yeah. Like Kate.

[Brian laughs]

No, dickhead.

[all laughing]

Those painkillers got your,
like, juices flowing, bro.

He's nonstop.

They want more Jell-O sh*ts out there.

-Kate, Kate, Lee.
-[Kate] Go ahead.

-Do you have a minute for me?
-[Kate] Ahoy, Captain.

I just wanted to let you know

that we have
a new crew member coming on board.

You do know her.

It's Rhylee.

-How perfect.
-I think so.

It's pirate day, and Rhylee's coming back.

Rhylee and I got off
to a rough start in Tahiti.

I'm gonna do whatever
the **** I'm gonna do.

I can say whatever the **** I wanna say.

-Oh, just stop.
-I'm good, I don't give a ****.

But by the end of the season, I loved her.

-I gotta clean my room.
-Yes.

Surprisingly not bad. Where's Kate?

I don't know.

Do you need your glasses?

-And is Simone here or not?
-She's not up yet, no.

She was up later.

Can you just ask for the deckhands?

Deck crew, is anyone available
to help for breakfast service?

Yeah, affirmative, Courtney,
I can help you.

[Kate] Courtney, I can come.

[Courtney] Kate, Kevin asked
for deck crew also.

What the ****?

Kate understands food being served

through a Burger King window.

She doesn't realize
how much work goes into this.

And so I've almost
had to take over that role of service.

-Kate, Kate, service, please.
-Oh, this is a good one, you guys.

How long is that gonna sous vide for?

-Until the guests are ready, so...
-Oh, great.

Let's get the guests ready.

-Where's Kate?
-I don't know, what's the time now?

Jesus, get it together.

I shouldn't have to do this,

because I should just
be worrying about the food.

So the well-dones
are for Michael and Kelly.

Your two, whoever you want

make sure you've got
your pirate accent going.

-Whoever I want?
-Whoever you want.

Now we have deckhands
on for breakfast service?

I love you all.

That's a new one. Such a control freak.

-Be a generous tipper.
-Did you just tip him a gold coin?

-Ooh, that is hot.
-Like, on fire.

-What would you like me to do?
-Can you go down to the guest quarters,

and also I need you
to wear some pirate gear.

Oh, my God, I love it!
Does this look cute?

It looks cute. Are we done with breakfast?

Well, I started my morning right.

Okay, Captain,
standing by anchor, ready to drop.

And drop. Gimme two sh*ts, please.

-Check the stay.
-Yeah, that's good.

[Lee] Lock it in.

-Good job, bro.
-That's pretty, look at that.

All right, Cap, that's tender away.

[Lee] Teh, Teh, Lee.

Why don't you go ahead
and pick our new deckie up?

[Teh] Okay. heading to the marina.

[Kevin] Ashton, have you got
any pirate flair going on?

I've got a big sword.

[Kevin chuckles]

I think someone wants to go
treasure-hunting.

-Yes.
-Let's go in there.

That dagger's amazing, is it not?

I'm gonna need to borrow this later,
when I send the two girls off the front.

Do it.

[Ashton] Everything happening with me
and Shaely is just very playful.

I'll often enjoy the game

more than actually getting
something out of it.

You're like my forbidden fruit,

Yep.

You better watch out.

**** [chuckles]

-[Ashton] All right, I'll see you later.
-Yeah, see you later.

All right, see you later.

[mockingly] Do you wanna touch my dagger?

[Kevin laughs]

Hello, Simone, do you need help?

-I'll hold the door open.
-No, I'll be okay.

So you're South African
and I'm North American.

-Oh, okay.
-Opposites attract, right?

Do you still have MySpace? I'll add you.
Is there a garter on your leg?

-Yeah.
-Do you want that off?

I think I like South Africans now.

[Tanner] Captain Lee, I'm approaching
with your new deckhand.

[Lee] Roger that.

-Hi!
-How you doing?

What's going on?

-Hi, Rhylee.
-Hey, Kate.

-Guess what? You're my roommate.
-Oh, sweet.

-Tanner.
-Tanner, nice to meet you. Rhylee.

-Brian.
-Hello, I'm Rhylee, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Go do your thing,
I'll bring it up for you...

-Okay, thank you.
-I'll leave it, uh...

-I'll just bring it downstairs.
-I'm capable to bring it up myself,

but I'm gonna go talk to Cap first,
just so you know.

For sure.

Since Tahiti, I have done
my Alaskan summer fishing charter.

With this season, my goal is to learn

the lay of the land on the yacht
a little bit more,

because I don't like doing
a job half-assed.

So if I don't understand the ins and outs...

You're gonna get rotten Rhylee.

Hello, Rhyles.

-Let me get a hug. How are you doing?
-I'm doing good.

This is nice out here.

-Thanks for coming out on short notice.
-Of course.

I just wanted to go over
a couple of things

before we get started.
Coming in as third deckie.

-Okay.
-Ash is your bosun.

Okay.

Having Rhylee answer the call

really helps us out of a tight spot.

We will respect the rank.

Do your job, everything'll be fine.

Okay.

But I hope she doesn't
let her dump truck mouth

overload her wheelbarrow ass.

Ashton, Ashton, Lee,
to the bridge, please.

[Ashton] Copy that, on my way.

Those my uniforms?

There's your uniforms.

Ash.

Pleasantly surprised, are you?

Yeah, of course.

Oh, boy, I'm definitely
not ready for this.

-[Lee] Hey, Ash.
-[Ashton] How are you, Rhy?

-Good, how are you?
-Good to see you again.

-You, too.
-I've already explained to Rhylee

exactly how things are gonna go.

Just treat her like one of the guys,
and we'll get through the season.

I'm having, like, massive flashbacks

of everything we had to go
through with her last year.

Let's just hold off
until he's locked the chain off.

I thought he said that once
he says "shackles..."

Rhylee, every time I speak to you,

you tell me what you think Chandler said.

Calm down.

Last year I could
kind of deal with it at arm's length,

but now I'm bosun,
and now it's my problem.

I'm not looking forward to this.

[Lee] Anything else?

I'll just jump into uniform,
I guess, and then...

-Welcome aboard, kiddo.
-Thank you.

It makes me a little nervous,
going into this season

with Ashton in a leadership role.

But it's not gonna deter me
from doing my job and being me.

I gotta learn this boat now.

I know, it's confusing.

-Hey, hey!
-Backflip?

[cheering]

Nice. Liquid yacht wear.

How you feeling?

Painkillers are kicking in,
so it's even better now.

Stay off of it as long as you can.

I'm not a person that likes to relax.

I feel guilty
when I can see people running around

and working hard,
and I'm not working hard with them.

It sucks, I don't like it
when things like this happen.

How are you?

Captain now said I must just relax.

-Good.
-But I mean, I can't, like, if you...

they need help on deck,
you know what I mean?

Well, they have Rhylee now.

-[Brian] Here's Rhylee.
-You're Brian, right?

-Accent is?
-South African.

How's it been going? Why am I here?

The last girl Abbi, she decided to leave.

-Thanks, Abbi.
-Yeah.

[Brian and Rhylee laughing]

I'm happy to be here. It's hot here.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Everything about Brian screams sexy to me,

and I'm gonna look forward to seeing
a lot more of him this season.

[laughs hysterically]

-Tanner.
-Oi, oi.

What about you, Tanner,
what's your background?

New York, what about you?

I fish in Alaska.

Brilliant, we could have
used you last charter.

-[Michael] Caw-caw, caw-caw.
-OMG.

I stole Captain Lee's bird.
This is Captain Mini-Lee.

Chef, me and Simone
are going to South Africa...

-Really?
-And we're gonna go shark-diving.

I don't think I mentioned that.

[Michael] I love you.

Michael hasn't been acting
too appropriate to Simone.

I'm feeling awkward, and I'm standing,
you know, six feet away.

Simone, Simone,
you're good at what you do.

Thank you.

We're gonna break some rules, Simone.

-Okay.
-Hi, again.

Hi.

All right, you just
[bleep] up my entire vibe.

[Kate] Pretty [bleep] drunk.

-They just get a bit too comfortable.
-They get way too comfortable.

-So, are you happy to be back?
-I am.

So what I'd like to do is start fresh.

I wanna give you a fair chance,
and I wanna see you grow.

Last season I was left out
of a lot of deck meetings,

a lot of the heavy lifting.

When I'm sitting up here
[bleep] cleaning, okay,

it's menial, it feels like I'm [bleep]
underneath every [bleep] person.

And that's why I don't give a [bleep]
if you wanna let me go.

I just hope that Ashton
makes me feel a part of the team.

I want there to be
an open line of communication

if there's something
that you're not happy about.

You know I don't have a problem, you know,

expressing an issue, you know?

You'll get into it quickly,

and I'll do a quick walk-around with you...

-Okay.
-...and show you where everything is.

Could I have iced coffee,
or is that too difficult?

No, we can make iced coffee as well.

-Are you sure?
-Yeah.

What is your Instagram?

I followed you,
and you didn't follow me back.

I was actually looking for you.
But I couldn't find you.

-Why?
-Court?

-Yeah?
-With an iced coffee,

do I just make the espresso

and then put it
in the blender with the coff...

No, just over ice.

Just ice.

Yeah, but make sure
it's cooled down first.

She's funny.

Want some help?

I'm just getting the ice coffees.
Oh, did you find...

-I'll do 'em.
-Okay.

What?

You already liked it!

Do you remember who these are for, hon?

Yes.

Will you tell me, so I can
look at their preferences?

Simone is training herself
in service this charter.

Um, coff...

can't tell the difference.

And I am training myself in patience.

Pardon me.

The juice is down.

Oh, there's actually one in there.

-Right there.
-Okay, perfect.

Um...

OMG.

[she sighs]

Arrr!

-Here you go.
-Thank you.

You're welcome.

That's the dress you were wearing

-when I kissed you, isn't it?
-Yeah.

Ohh...

-Don't forget that.
-[she chuckles]

-Wing stations.
-Okay.

-Do you remember them from last year?
-Yeah.

So this is where we operate
the davits from.

We got a tow line over there. Chamois.

-My feet burn. Pick me up. Pick me up...
-Oh, oh, oh...

-Okay.
-Who are you?

-Hi, I'm Rhylee.
-This is Rhylee.

-This is Michael. He's our primary.
-Can I transfer to you?

-Mike, I probably could do it.
-I love redheads.

-Okay, let's do it this way.
-Now that's one.

We're taking you over here, though.

-You can take me wherever you want.
-[she laughs]

Do you wanna go see the master suite?

[Rhylee and Michael laughing]

Here.

Did you really just carry me like that?

I think I did.

[all laughing]

-Where's she been all week?
-She's our new deckhand.

Okay.

♪ All the beautiful colors in the world ♪

Maybe you'd like to take
a wee Instagram photo first.

Normally Kate does it,
but she's not here right now.

Get outta here.

Get one of me smiling in my pirate hat?

-No.
-What's going on?

-Get a close-up.
-Yeah.

At an angle.

Okay, which one is for Shaela?

-This one here.
-Shaely?

[Kevin] With all the heat
and humidity here...

The Thai produce is beautiful.

It really sweetens up really lovely,

and so this salad here
is just all fresh ingredients.

It's quick and simple, but...

and that's what I love about it, you know?

I can't wait to serve it to them,

they're gonna appreciate it so much.

Thanks, Kate.

All right, grab Shaely's.

Do you want me to do Shaely?

I don't know, you wanna go out there?

I just like making your job easier.

-Same.
-Yeah?

[chanting] Lunch! Lunch! Lunch!

-Hey, Chef.
-I've just put the dressing on the side.

Yeah, if I could have the non-spicy?

-That's right there.
-Oh.

Thanks, guys.

Lose some coins on him?

I love titties!

-[bleep] wasted.
-That was so cold.

That was so [bleep]ed up of you.

[bleep]

Blumpkin!

Well, lunch just deteriorated real fast.

He deserved every second of that.

-So what's for dinner tonight?
-They're having big steaks.

I might just give them all bandanas

and make a country-western theme party.

I'll give you the black one.

Okay.

Cool. Thank you.

That was so cold I can't even
sit in my chair, it's so cold.

Hello.

[all laughing]

Simone. Simone.

We are going shark-diving.

-I'm gonna take you with me.
-Shark-diving?

Yep.

I'll be the shark, you be the diver.

OMG.

Once you go white...

-He doesn't deserve it at all.
-Bad.

I'm in love.

Uh, will you go meet me in the galley?

Okay, sure.

Um, I'm getting weird vibes
from the primary.

It's just, yeah, past the point of...

-No return.
-...appropriateness.

Walking around like this
the whole [bleep] trip.

Will you go down to laundry with Courtney...

Thank you, Kate.

-And I'll call you when I need you.
-Thank you.

I'm not having Simone go out there.

The primary is drunk and creepy.

The unfortunate thing is that this happens
sometimes in yachting.

Guests think
they can do whatever they want,

but that doesn't make it okay.

So as Simone's boss,

it's my job to remove her
from the situation.

It's our last day.

Let's get as [bleep]ed up
and disrespectful as we can.

[Michael laughing hysterically]

[bird chirping]

Looks like cough syrup.

To being lit.

I think there's some pirates coming.

Sunset cruise.

Sunset cruise. I'm commando today.

I'm always commando.

[men laughing]

Ready for the sunset cruise?

Arrr!

Sounds good.

-Have fun.
-Adios!

All clear, boss man.

Hey, you wanna talk over the menu?

We're gonna do the steak on the plate
with mashed potato.

Well, that's good, because I'm doing,
like, a country-western type of theme.

Tonight we're doing a steakhouse meal.

Simple, classic. They're gonna love it.

I've traveled all over the world,

and I lived in Denver, Colorado,
for a while

as a line cook, and got to experience
a bit of American cuisine.

You know, there's gonna
be lots of different [bleep].

It's all about that meat,

and hopefully it'll be yum, yum, yum.

I'd better get my butt moving.

-Eight o'clock should be fine.
-Okay.

All right, sit back and enjoy the view.

Of the sun.

[both laughing]

Thanks for clarifying.

It is pirate day, you could tie me up.

Jeez, stop being naughty.

I haven't had much luck with
the ladies this season yet.

I haven't been planting my
seeds in the right places.

I want to kiss you.

Kiss me on my cheek.

-Trying to get it in, Ash?
-Don't lie, Abbi.

I'll be honest with you. I'm interested...
to get you on a more personal level.

So it's extremely hard
not to be tempted by a woman

that is constantly hitting on you.

Tomorrow morning, you knock, I'll wake.

I'm not gonna come
and knock on your cabin door.

I cannot do that.

But if I were to hook up
with a charter guest, I'd be fired.

So this [bleep] sucks.

-Oh, man.
-I'm trying.

Okay, come on.

-Hi.
-Are you done in there?

Yeah. I even folded up my towel.

You don't have... Just saying if...
if I see it I'm probably gonna hang it.

I'm as sloppy as a man.

Holy [bleep].

Hello!

-Hey.
-Hi.

Thank you for the nice little cruise.

-You're welcome.
-Thank you.

Cheers.

No, I need Brian, not you.

Sorry, honey.

[he chuckles]

-Just country it up.
-All right.

We're in Texas.

Brian is back on deck.

Yeah, buddy!

This is very county fair.

So we're heading on time for 10 minutes?

Yeah.

Alright so, I'll put you down
and I'll keep Brian up with me.

And I want you to just
get over your jet lag.

-Yeah.
-I want us to be happy,

I want us to be hydrated.

-I want us to be in good spirits.
-Okay.

Thanks, Rhy. Nice to have you back.

Thank you.

-Hi.
-So hungry.

You and your zingers.

How you feeling, Simone?

I'm ready for that guy to go.

Pissing you off, huh?

-One of the charter guests?
-A primary.

Towards Tanner's girl.

What?

[he chuckles]

I think she has a little crush on me.

We're gonna see
what happens tomorrow night.

She's older than you, yeah?

Cougar.

Nothing wrong
with a little cougar-hunting.

You're gonna
try to k*ll her with a poison dart?

-No, I'm just...
-[Brian laughs]

Jeez, it was a joke, Rhylee.

Welcome to Valor, [bleep].

[Michael whistles]

Simone, Simone.

Where's your garter you had on,
or is it gone?

Oh, that's one secret.

You didn't leave it in my room, did you?

Captain Lee!

-[Michael] Sexy, look at that shirt!
-Looking very dapper.

-What's up, young man?
-How are you?

-Young man.
-Good to see you.

There's my boots.

[Michael] Oh, we chugged beer
out of 'em earlier.

-How'd it taste?
-L-l-l-lit.

[all laughing]

You are the epitome of lit.

[Michael laughs]

The captain knows how to get lit.

What I wanna do
is all the side plates here,

and all the main plates over here,

individually putting on Brussels sprouts
is very time-consuming.

Ready for some big old steaks?

So have the girls serve them?

The idea would be...
you girls come through with the sides.

All of us boys serve the steaks.

-What?
-Yeah, that should work.

It's very sister-wife.

It's a bit of a blow to my ego

that Kevin is acting like

it's only him that gets to decide
how the meals are served.

I'm the head of service,
and he's made me into a sidepiece.

[Kate] Are we being serious?

-Yeah, it's a lot easier.
-[Kate] Uh-huh.

Ash, Kev, can you come to the galley,
please, if you got a sec?

Oh, good.

This is nice,
having all the active crew members

in the galley at the same time.
I like this.

Thanks, guys.

I'll take Captain and the primary.

Beautiful, guys, really good work.

I can't do this. I can't live like this.

You're doing it again, sir.

Okay, let's go.

On the plate, first we've got
Australian steak, grass-fed,

mashed potato beneath it,
and then green beans,

Brussels sprouts,
the third one is roasted carrots.

-Enjoy.
-Wow.

Thanks, Chef.

-Do you want some green beans?
-Yes, please.

I know that Kevin has control issues,

but the least he can do
is not overstep his boundaries.

This is bull[bleep].
He knows it, I know it.

-This is a large piece of meat.
-I heard that earlier.

Simmer down, simmer down.

[Kevin] Thanks so much, guys.
I'll buy you a beer tomorrow.

[Shaely] Everything about yesterday
was amazing, today is amazing.

Above and beyond.

To living life on a small dinghy.

-Yes, cheers!
-Salut.

Salut.

Oh, thank [bleep] that's over.

[Kate] How is everyone doing?

[Michael] We like seeing
your beautiful smile.

Thank you.

Just saying what Captain Lee is thinking.

[Lee] And with that this evening,
I am gonna bid you guys adieu.

You're getting good Yelp reviews.

[all laughing]

-You all right?
-Not really.

You had a rough evening?

All day has been rough, and I admit

I was [bleep] pissed off
during dinner at you.

-Took my job without consulting me...
-Yeah.

...and made me and the girls
literally just the side b*tches.

You made me feel like [bleep].

I was [bleep] pissed off
during dinner at you.

-Took my job without consulting me...
-Yeah.

...and made me and the girls
literally just the side b*tches.

I felt like [bleep], you know?

In my head I was just like, if it's all
gonna go out together at once...

-I understand the concept.
-...and then we would have... yeah.

-We just have never done it that way.
-Yeah.

I've never served a steak dinner
with these three sides and this.

Everything is always different.

And because you don't take charge,

that makes me take charge.

And if you want me to do
your job, then [bleep] off.

Yeah, it turned out great.

I just didn't like feeling
like the side bitch.

So when we take time to plan it together

and then at the last minute you
pull the rug out from under me,

-it's just, it...
-Yeah.

I've been doing my best
to make Kevin's job

as easy as possible for him.

But if he continues
to disrespect my position,

his job can be much more difficult.

All right, I'll see you in the morning.

-Thank you. Have a good night.
-I'll see you in the morning, thank you.

Oh, for [bleep]'s sake.

Simone, when are we going shark-diving?

I don't feel like shark-diving.

Ever?

Yeah.

Will you sit on the boat
say hey you're good or bad?

Yeah, I don't agree
with the concept of shark-diving.

Could this day just end,
and these people just go?

It's just... It's too much.

-I'm feeling kinda sweet tonight.
-Let's go up.

This guy...

his comments or whatever...

like, it's unnerving.

I frigging love Simone.

She's, like, really nice,
sweet, makes drinks.

Like, in a normal environment,
I'd say something.

-Yeah, but you can't.
-He's so inappropriate.

I knew he was gonna be like that,
though, like, from...

-How do you know?
-From his photo, you can tell.

I thought he'd just be like
a nice geek, you know?

No.

This has not been my day.

No?

No. It's not. It's a huge contrast
to yesterday's...

What happened yesterday?

Just give me a moment.

What happened yesterday?

Yesterday...

It's going good?

-This is the coolest spot we've been to.
-It is.

It sucks when you're stranded on the boat...

-I know.
-...and you just wanna go explore.

What happened yesterday?

Nothing happened yesterday.

I was just like, you know, when I was busy
chit-chatting with Tanner...

like it was just...
It was like the weirdest thing.

Chit-chatting?

Wait. Maybe I should just think
about it and I'll feel...

I already feel so much better now.

-Oh, my goodness.
-Yep.

I don't want either of you
up with the primary.

He's so weird.

I bet he does that to, like,
every waitress in Florida.

What you guys doing?

I'm gonna go sleep in a minute.

Do you wanna go try
that bathtub in the bathroom?

[bleep]

I like talking to myself.

Why don't you start pulling
for breakfast, Simone?

-Okay, yeah.
-Courtney, go to bed.

-Okay. Toodle-doo.
-All right.

I skip two steps... two steps, two steps.

-Good night, guys.
-Good night!

All right, I'm gonna go to bed.

-Do you need help?
-No, thank you.

-Thanks for the offer, though.
-Good night.

-Sleep well.
-Good night.

[Simone] Arrivederci, Katey boo-boo.

[bleep], I just want
to get into bed, bru.

[Simone sighs]

[Simone] I need to go to bed.

-Are you ready?
-I'm ready. Always ready.

-You wanna help me deflate the slide?
-Absolutely.

Use both pumps
and get a little "double team?"

It's too early to make sexual innuendos.

Is it? I'm a big morning sex guy.

[Kevin sighs]

The sighs of the drop-off day.

When you're staring
at the wilted, dying flowers,

and you're like, "I get it."

-[vacuum whirring]
-All right, which one are you starting on?

Do blue.

Would be my first
slide experience, really.

-It takes a while.
-Yeah.

-And it's heavy as [bleep].
-Yeah.

The most appealing thing to me
about working on these mega-yachts

is you really get to travel the world.

I've always wanted to visit Thailand.

It's certainly breathtaking,
and I'm happy to be here.

-Jet-lagged at all?
-I'm only moody when I'm affected

by, like, my surroundings,
in case you haven't been warned.

[bleep] you, assh*le!

I do have a trucker's mouth.

Good to know.

[Lee] God, don't let him come in here.

Kate, Kate, Lee, primary's up.

Captain, morning captain.

-Morning.
-How you doin'?

Good, how are you?

[Kate] All crew, hide your wives.
The primary's up.

My mom, she has a macaw.

She loves that bird more than me.

She took me out of the will.

Good morning. Would you like coffee, or...

A Bloody Mary, spicy.

He's having a Bloody Mary.

-Maybe a Stella?
-Sure.

Want me to go down there so I can hook it?

-Oh, that'd be sweet.
-All good?

[Tanner] You're a hell of a hooker.
Nice job.

[Rhylee sighs] It's so [bleep] hot.

Here we go, breakfast is starting.

[Kevin] What's that I smell?
Freshly baked muffins.

Yeah!

Hi, good morning, Courtney.

I gotta see what's up with Brian.

[knocking on door]

[Brian] Come in.

[Brian grunts]

Dude, this [bleep] leg of mine...

I can't even walk on it today, bru.

Alright... um...

Ahh... definitely [bleep] sore.

Yeah, it's [bleep] hot, that's not good.

Brian's leg, it's actually worse.

[bleep] man.

There's a chance that I might lose Brian.

[Brian sighs]

Dude...

I can't even walk on it today, bru.

[bleep] man.

My leg is excruciating.

My calf is double the size.

Stay in bed.

Feel better, bro.

I need to see the doctor, ASAP.

-Good morning.
-Morning, Kate.

How's Brian?

Not good. He can't even walk.

-We can't lose him.
-Yeah.

Poor guy.

-How you doing, Chef?
-Good morning, how are you?

I'm wonderful, how hard would it be
for some chicken stir-fry?

Chicken stir-fry?

Yeah, chicken, peppers,
onions, some broccoli.

-Is that okay with you, slick?
-Okay.

[bleep] off. Like,
just go [bleep] yourself.

I appreciate it, Chef.

-Morning, Cap.
-Morning.

So Brian's worse today.

-Worse?
-Yeah.

His calf is, like, swollen,
and he can't walk on it properly.

We can get a doctor back down to the dock

-if it's getting worse.
-Yeah.

Jesus Christ.

There's no way he's gonna be able
to finish out the charter.

If his leg doesn't get better,
I'll have to replace him.

There's nothing personal,

but how can you get by
with a one-legged deckhand?

This ain't [bleep] Captain Hook.

So then it'll be myself, Rhylee,
and Tanner on deck for docking.

Is what it is.

Bubba getting lit already, boy.

[bleep] this guy.

-Sit on it.
-[he sighs]

All right, that's the slide done.

-I'm good with a slide now.
-Oh, yeah?

[Kevin] I hope his face burns off.

I'll say breakfast stir-fry.

Chop, chop, chop.

Pack your [bleep], get off the boat.

Ooh, yes.

I'm sad, I don't wanna go home.

Okay, I can show you the anchor.

-Classic.
-This is your devil's claw.

-Okay.
-So you loosen that.

So what you wanna do now
is loosen your clamp.

Abbi got along with the crew so well,

but she was distracted very easily.

I would much rather have Rhylee on deck,

working hard and wanting to learn,
and adding value to the team.

Captain, Captain,
Rhylee, standing by on anchor.

Start pulling.

That's good, hold it in further.

Gotta press it hard.

All right, anchor's in the pocket.

We're outta here.

Let's go down and get into our whites.

You need help packing?
Because I'm not gonna help.

-No.
-You got it?

[Ashton] All right, Captain,
deck crew's standing by.

Copy that, we're on the final approach.

[Ashton] You are 300 feet
to the channel marker stern.

- [Tanner] [bleep] yeah, Rhylee.
-Okay.

All right, let's lock it in.

Good job, everybody.

[Tanner] Rhylee's on her A game.

On my age game.

[bleep]

Twelve o'clock on the button. Boom!

Let's get outta here.

A bit heavy.

Attention, all crew,
I need you on aft deck in five.

Are we all here? Brian is not coming?

I hope this is brief and to the point.

Vamos!

-Bye.
-Bye, Patty, thank you for joining us.

-Thank you so much, thank you.
-Yeah.

My man.

-I'll see you soon.
-Goodbye.

Bye.

I'm easy to find.
Just spell my name right and I'll pop up.

See you later. Simone, the S.S. Simone.

Aren't you glad you met me?

Michael needs to get the F off.

Simone, I would wife you up
any day, seriously.

Like, bye-bye, thank you for coming.

Thank you.

Sawadee Ka

Sawadee Ka

-Take care.
-Thank you.

This way.

All right, let's go to work.

[Ashton] Yeah, so if we hustle,
we can finish at 4:00.

[Courtney] It's me.

Do you want coffee or anything?

[Brian] That would be amazing.
Are these yours by the way?

[Courtney] No. Who is she?

[Courtney and Brian laughing]

Ashton, Lee.

Can you get Brian up to the master for me?

-I got the doctor on his way.
-[Ashton] Copy, Cap.

Want me to piggyback you?

[Brian] No, I'm good.

[Ashton] Bro,
your left calf is so massive.

How you doing, Doc?

Good afternoon.

That's your spot, bro.

Cheers. Nice to lay all day.

-Hey, Doc.
-Hey, Doc.

-Let me take a look.
-Boy, that thing has blown up.

What happened?

-I knocked it here.
-It hurt?

It's sore, yes.

[doctor] It's infection.

I'll give you antibiotic injection. Yeah?

Yeah.

[Lee] The thought that it might be
an infection never entered my mind.

Yeah.

I need to get back to work,
so I will take anything right now

just to get this thing done.

Whatever it takes.

-In the buttocks?
-Yeah.

Lovely.

-[Lee] You need a tissue, Brian?
-No, I'm good.

It'll take about three days.

Perfect, that's good news, thank you.

[Lee] Go back to bed.

Doc, so is there anything
you can do for his face?

Nothing?

[men laughing]

Do you want me to do
the toilet paper and stuff,

or can we do that later?

-Yeah, let's just do it all.
-All right.

[Lee] Attention, all crew.

I need everybody in the crew mess in five.

-Hi.
-Hi.

-How's everybody?
-Good, thank you.

This charter, wow.

I think I would rather have somebody
pull me through

a knothole in the fence by my d*ck

than have these guys back.

You know, when he handed me
the tip money and he said

it was gonna leave us speechless,

I was speechless when I opened it up.

And it wasn't in a good way.

Oh...

He left 15,000.

That sucks.

[laughs]

[bleep] you, Michael. [bleep] you.

What a chump.

It's an insult,
but I appreciate all of your efforts.

Gratitude is no replacement
for cold, hard cash...

-Thank you.
-But you have mine.

And this is for Brian.

You guys go out tonight,
have a little din-din.

Work as long as you feel you need to today

to get the boat flipped.

Thank you.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

Can we cover up
from top to bottom, please?

Yo, it is so [bleep] hot.

I'm getting a cramp
from this stupid steam button.

I'm excited to see
what the night life is like.

-We'll rage!
-Make sure we're squared up.

And that is the end of that.

I'm trying to remember
if I'm forgetting anything.

Bring nothing you'd want to see tomorrow.

-Hey!
-Lookie!

I don't want to go.

I want a real one.

♪ Espresso martini for everyone. ♪

We worked our balls off for this charter,
and then he, like, leaves two bucks.

What a d*ck, you know?

Obviously the helicopter business
isn't going so well.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

But it's not gonna ruin my night.
Not tonight.

Time for a night on the town.

Boys in here, girls in there.

Well, that's their loss. Get in.

Hey, how about this.

-You can hook up with Simone or Rhylee.
-Or Rhylee.

Whoever I [bleep] tonight,
I'm gonna bust real quick.

[Ashton laughs]

I just want to dance.

I want to not dance.

-She wants to make romance.
-How do you feel?

Okay, do you, like, like him?

-I don't know him that well.
-Right.

He's just so cute.

I gotta pee so bad.

Get outta here!

I hope no car hits me.

Come on, dude.

-What's up, ladies?
-Hey.

-Hey.
-Smells spicy in here.

Grand slam in here.

Cool, right?

So you got the intro into the whole crew?

I haven't really been able
to talk to them all.

I had to bro up with you guys.
Hard to compare dicks.

Yours is bigger, Rhylee. Yours is bigger.

-Cheers, guys.
-Cheers.

-Here's to a good charter and [bleep] tip.
-Love you guys.

Pour one out for my homey.

-Oh, is that for Brian?
-Yep.

I'll have one for him, Brian's my homey.

Hey, Kevin, will you order some starters?

Okay. Three chicken satay.

Tres chicken satay?

You want some prawns?

[Rhylee] Can you order
something like paleo?

Yeah, of course,what do you want, salad?

Some... no, I don't want that.

I want something that's, like,
keto or paleo.

Yeah, let me look at your, like,
keto menu.

Oh, there's not one?

-Well, I'm so sorry.
-Whatever.

Excuse me.

Oh, these are for the paleo.

I'm not paleo, I just wanted paleo.

But I'm really gluten-free.

Yeah, it's like I'm not gluten-free,
I just wanted gluten-free bread.

If it's good, I'll eat it.
But if the chef can...

If it tastes better
with flour inside of it, I'll eat it.

I don't even understand
why this is a problem.

What I'd like to do now is drink my weight

in [bleep] calories
than eat better in food.

-Okay.
-This is hilarious.

That's it.

You annoy me
like the rest of them, it's fine.

How do you say "[bleep] off" in Thailand?

Any loser.

"Can you order something paleo?"

Like, who says that?

Like, I'm not the [bleep] guy
in the back of the kitchen

going, "Oh, yeah, okay, we can do that."

"We can do that dietary."

I'm not your personal chef.

I don't mean to, like,
abrupt your [bleep] salad diet.

It's not about dieting.

I literally eat whatever
the [bleep] I wanna eat.

Yeah, so what am I supposed to do?

-If you're on the diet...
-I'm not on the diet.

Like, I just explained that.

-I said I literally wanted one entrée...
-No, but if you're on the diet...

-and you look what you want...
-I'm not on the diet, like, get past that.

Dude, I'm not your chef, all right? Okay?
I'm the charter guests' chef.

Order in court.

You see, I expected this.
You guys are surprised.

[bleep] off.

Here we go. First part.

If you want your diet,
you just [bleep] find something

on the menu that's [bleep] orderable.

I'm so embarrassed.

Now, what the [bleep] is the problem?

Kate and Ashton
said order whatever you want.

They said order for the table.

-Yeah, they said order whatever.
-I said, can you add a paleo option.

So now what the [bleep] is the problem?

-Look at the [bleep] menu.
-Don't take on a responsibility

if you don't wanna take
on the responsibility.

I'm so embarrassed.

We haven't even [bleep] gone out yet.

Can we keep dinner civil?

-Night out in Thailand, yeah!
-Please.

[bleep]'s sake, Jesus.

What the hell is going on?

Rhylee, you've been here
for a few hours, and already you're, like,

having a full-on go
at one of our crew members.

I was hoping that Rhylee
had changed her ways,

but apparently a leopard
can't change its spots.

Here we go. Boom.

I can't remember what I ordered.

-It was something non-paleo.
-I didn't order...

Alright, I'm sitting on the beach.

-I officially pissed off Chef.
-Why did you piss him off?

I have no idea.

[bleep] hell, dude.

I just wanted to call her out on it.

If you're on a specific diet,
look at the menu yourself

and just go, "Hey, Kev,
can I just get this, just for me."

This is a [bleep] charter,
topped off by a [bleep] tip.

Kate's pissed off at me.

But now I've got [bleep]
Rhylee on my back as well.

Look after your own diet, love.

Like, go [bleep] yourself.

[bleep] eat a d*ck.

-Do you girls want leis?
-Yes.

Yeah? Sure, I'll buy you leis.

They actually smell really nice.

Thank you.

You know, you made me laugh earlier.

That was good banter.

I really don't know what
happened to create such drama.

I'm not trying to start any fights.

Chef was being rude,
and that pisses me off.

If he can't handle it,
get the chef outta the [bleep] kitchen.

[crew laughing]

Oh, Rhylee.

And it's like,
oh, I don't do that, I do this.

It's like, you ***ing... you're not a guest.

I can't be bothered with that, mate.

-Hey, guys.
-Hey, friends.

Thanks for ordering the food, Kev.

-Yes, thank you, Chef.
-Good job.

Do not call me "Chef." I get annoyed.

Oh, for [bleep]'s sake.

Well, thank you,
whatever the [bleep] you wanna be called.

Call me just my name.

sh*ts!

Just make sure they're paleo.

-Maybe potato vodka?
-Potato isn't paleo.

-I thought you would know that, Chef.
-That was sarcasm. Joke.

-But no.
-Oh, I didn't catch it.

Wear your baseball glove next time.
You'll catch everything.

Kevin and Rhylee fighting
is like what would happen

if you broke the rules from the pet store
and put two betta fish in the same t*nk.

Ultimately, it's a recipe for disaster.

Like seriously,
order your own [bleep] food.

Why are you so [bleep] offended?

Tell me, Chef.

Kevin, my man, you have met your match.

He's been super condescending
since day one.

I'm like, yes, thank you, universe.

I knew something would come.

Rhylee, do the damn thing, girl. Show him.

You order your own [bleep] shot,
you speak up for your own shot as well.

-I did.
-Oh, my God.

-Now sit down and enjoy your meal.
-What is your problem?

You're not the special superstar
that you think you are.

They're having a fight about...

About nothing.

He's obnoxious.

Jesus [bleep] Christ.

-Kev, come walk with me.
-You should walk off.

You don't make any [bleep] sense.

Kev, come walk with me, bro.

[Kevin grunts]

I'm not gonna sit here
and have a [bleep] British,

or whatever the [bleep] he is chef say,

like, "Oh, I'm so offended."

It's your second day here

and you're already
creating all this drama?

What the [bleep] are you doing?

If she wants to [bleep] make her scene

and [bleep] make everything about her,
let her [bleep] do that.

It's the best thing you can do is sit back
and [bleep] laugh at her.

Oh, my God, I thought he was,
like, kinda the cool one

of the guys in the group.

I'm not gonna allow her to come in here

and rock the boat
with this happy existing family

we [bleep] have,
because that is what we have.

I don't want you guys
to get sucked into that bull[bleep].

[Rhylee] Did I make you guys
feel uncomfortable?

[Ashton] We've had many crew nights out,

we've never been in a situation

where we feel embarrassed
because of the way

that my crew members are acting, okay?

-Crew members, not just member.
-Crew mem...

did I say "crew members"
or did I say "crew member?"

-You said... I'm just clarifying.
-I said...

Whatever you [bleep] heard,
I said "crew members," plural.

-No, I said... I...
-Meaning two people.

I repeated that.

Rhylee, you've been
on the boat two [bleep] days

and already I'm having déjà vu,
and it's not making me [bleep] happy.

-It's not.
-Right. And why is it déjà vu?

You are the only person
that has come in new

and there's [bleep] drama.

Okay, so was it me ordering
food that was drama, or...

Rhylee, I'm just giving you the evidence.

-Was it my fault?
-Yes, it is.

-Why?
-Because you just raised your voice at me,

-and you shouted at me.
-What was my attitude?

What, the whole night
is because I just raised my voice at you?

-Can I tell you what the point is?
-I would love for you to tell me that.

Yeah, shut up and then you can
[bleep] hear what I'm saying.

[gasps]

That's getting carried away.

The person who acts out the most,
and who reacts,

is the person that looks like the idiot.

Unfortunately, that's you.

Don't walk away, Ashton.

Talk to me about this bull[bleep].

-You're a joke.
-I'm a joke.

Because what happens
is you don't wanna [bleep]

talk about the problem,
you wanna act like the [bleep]...

-He's talked about the problem.
-Shut the [bleep] up.

Who the [bleep] are you?

This is Tanner,
and he belongs in our [bleep] crew.

He belongs to the [bleep] crew?

So where do I belong, Ashton?

You [bleep] belong
on a fishing boat in Alaska.

Well, buy me a [bleep] ticket,
and I'll be back.

I wanna hook up with you so bad.

Do you?

Are you all cozy in my bed?

[Simone] Mm-hmm.

Finally! Like, damn, son,
you took your time.

A half-dozen ladies. They're all moms.

I think they're gonna be
a good time, polite.

I think they will.

So who's gonna urinate on me
if I get stung?

Huh?

-He's a silver fox.
-He is a silver fox.

I'm not sure
that you're a great second stew.

Okay.

And now you've made
our department look bad.

[Lee] How's the leg?

Still not right.

I'm stressing out.

It just sounds like
Brian's not gonna be able

to finish out the rest of the season.