05x12 - 55 and Lovin' It

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Below Deck…

-You don't like it?
-It's just bland.

If it were my restaurant,

a lot of things would have been sent back.

I'm a little concerned
with what I saw in the galley.

I need Matt to stand on his own two feet.

I'd like to see you
really pull out all the stops.

I'm so burnt out.

I've had criticism up the yin-yang.

I'm done.

When the charter ends, I'm out of here.

I'm gonna miss you so much.

Bye.

We're gonna have a new deckhand, so…

-Look who it is.
-What's up?

Motor yacht Valor, I'm back.

-Hi.
-Shelly Snoddy.

She wants her girlfriends to get together
and have a good time.

Nico, watch this.

I like you, Jen.

I can win an argument
with you quite quickly.

We should get married.

Oh, my God, we're holding hands.
It's so official.

I like him. I like him a lot.

I'm excited to spend time with him.

[Bri] So after this season,
we should go travel together.

I haven't been whoring around
as long as you.

How old's your daughter?

-You seem miserable.
-No, you seem very out of line right now.

-This is a friend of a friend.
-You're not my friend.

Kate's pushed me to my boiling point.

It is what it is.

You should never call
your boss "miserable."

F--- my life!

[horn blares]

[upbeat music]

♪♪

Do you feel those big waves down there?

Yeah.

The motion of the ocean
makes me so sleepy.

I'm like a newborn baby right now.

I was sh---ing in the bathroom,
and I was like…

[laughs]

-Kate, Kate, Lee.
-Go, Captain.

-To the bridge, please.
-Copy.

Hi. What's going on?

I had a conversation with Chef.

Captain had a talk with me.

He's like,
"I need you to do better in the galley."

"Your presentation was sh-- yesterday."
I'm like "whaaat?"

But why he would kick me out
of the galley if I could help you?

Yeah.

Basically, you need to prove yourselves.

[laughs]

As long as the next charter group
doesn't have, like, super…

-I think they do.
-High-end…

I'm hoping that our conversation
will get Matt to step his game up

and maybe piss him off to the point where
he goes, "I'll show that son of a bitch."

-Well, I'm glad that
we're on the same page.

-What's up?
-Let's not go crazy.

Let's not start talking some sh--, okay?

But I'm going in for the k*ll tomorrow.

-It's happening.
-For what?

I'm taking Jen out for a couple of drinks.

-Yeah, you should.
-It's happening.

You know the truth:
When I get it on, I get it on.

Is it amateur hour, boys?

I'm not a particularly normal bloke,

so I like the fact
a girl's a little bit crazy,

'cause I can tap into that, I can relate.

Just don't marry her, okay?

[laughs]

All right, let's get these covers off.

[singing]

Can you squeeze the oranges?
Or did you already start?

No, I have to wait till that brews,

'cause we only have one
flippin' plug over there.

Did you try that one?

All the way at the end?
Yeah, I can do that.

-It was working yesterday.
-I can try that.

I think a lot of people
would have expected me to fire Jen by now.

Wait, wait, wait. Before you start it--

I'm not gonna start it.

Especially when you consider
the way she speaks to me.

I'm gonna go check on the tea towels.

This is f'ing annoying.

But I'm being lenient with her
because hiring a new stewardess

this late in the game
would only be more work for me.

Hey.

[laughs]

Well, hello.

Doing laundry again?

No, we don't have any
dish towels up there.

I actually washed deck towels,
and I need to put them in the dryer.

Jen, Jen.

Could you please come juice the oranges?
The juicer works when it's plugged in.

I had no idea.

Sure, I'm on my way
with some clean dish towels.

I don't give a f---
if Kate's mad at me.

I've been mad at her plenty of times.

I'm here, I'm working,

and I'm not gonna give her
any reason to fire me.

Nor will I quit.

We just discussed that it worked.

Why would you reiterate that
over the radio?

Because you weren't doing it.

I was going to get dish towels

to wipe up the juice.

Okay, but for future reference,
let's focus on charter guests.

Uh-huh, yeah.

Don't you remember having babies
and you come home a little drunk?

-You'd hear that baby cry.
-That's when you wanna give them away.

That was the worst: being hungover
and having to get up with the kids.

-Hey, Bri.
-Hi, hi.

How are things with Kate this morning?

Still in a bad mood from last night.

She made it known?

-Yeah, she att*cked me.
-Oh, no.

I'm like, "Dude."

-Hey.
-Hi.

Can you please go down and do cabins?

Yes.

-We'll have Bri do them.
-Okay.

You can stay up here on service.

Every day working with Jen, I'm thankful

that I'm one step closer
to not working with Jen.

Oh, the quiche, they're really pretty.

Thanks.

On my mark,
get me three sh*ts.

Drop.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Okay, Captain, three in the water.

Lock it.

I need two more glasses.

Hey.

Starting brunch now.

Those look good.

Little quiches. Ow.

I really don't understand

what problem Captain Lee has
with my cooking.

The guests have seemed happy.

I don't know what to tell you.

We're all set.

-Looks amazing.
-Thanks.

Hi, Kate.

We have your brunch set up
in the main salon,

if you guys want to go in there.

-Wonderful.
-Nice.

All right, so we're going
to put out all the toys.

One person on the swim platform,
and the rest of us will go up top.

Ready? Going up.

Starboard side, droppin' the rib.

I was pretty hard on EJ,

but I actually do respect the guy.

He's an experienced yachty,
and I did learn a lot

and really channeled in
to what I need to do

and not be a d*ck.

Actually, they're long enough.
Let's hold it from here.

I want to end this season

knowing I did the best I possibly could.

Okay, Bruno.

Got to get laid, Mare. [laughter]

It's been so long.

Okay, whose turn it is
to do the quick blessing?

Bless, O Lord, these gifts
we're about to receive

through Christ, O Lord, amen.

I've never said
so many prayers in my life.

-No shame in Jesus.
-That's right.

-Oh, this looks great.
-Better than sex.

I want to take Matt home with me,

'cause I lo--
I think he's very talented.

I'm gonna see if I can juggle something.

I don't know if I can do this.

[laughs]

How are you?

So we're gonna do dinner tonight.

Yes, dinner will be around 8:30.

We'll eat down here with Captain Lee.
He's coming to dinner.

Is he gonna wear his white uniform?

Are you join us for dinner
tonight or tomorrow night?

I think I might be able to do that.

-You have to wear your white.
-Okay.

'Cause it's a white party.

I have to go iron it, actually, yes.

It's gonna be a lovely evening.

[upbeat music]

-You going in?
-Let's get wet.

I want to get on the Jet Ski.

Okay, ladies, slowly
accelerate away from the boat.

[motor roaring]

Okay, this is day two schedule.

This is so complicated.

Dinner with the captain.

That's gonna be on main deck.

First I have the captain
coming into the galley.

He's looking at me like a hawk.

And now he's gonna go
have dinner with the guests.

[laughs] Sh--.

Maybe I should just pack my bags now.

-Disco party.
-When?

Tonight.

What? Oh, the white and neon party?

Yeah.

Nico, Nico.

Want to come up with the wheelhouse?

F---.

Captain.

I just wanted to check in with you,

see if everything was fine.

Yeah, everything--
you know, it's going smooth.

How's everybody getting on with Kyle?

Everyone's getting along fine,
and they're actually melding pretty good.

Cool. I'm glad to hear that.

I think subconsciously,
Nico picked up a lot of pointers from EJ,

and I think he has more confidence
in his own ability,

and it's showing through to the deck team.

They're either gonna step up
and get it done,

or he's gonna drop the hammer
on their ass.

He won't have to come to me to do it.

If you need me, you know how
to get ahold of me.

Yeah.

If you need me, don't call.

-Yeah.
-[laughs]

Jen, Jen, Kate.

It's 5:00 now.

-I will be back at 18:00.
-Okay.

-[knock at door]
-Come in.

Thank you!

I'm so happy.

It's always nice to see
a familiar face on board

and, like, have new energy.

Shag, marry, k*ll: Bruno, Matt, Nico.

If nothing else, Kyle has returned
to this boat as a great distraction.

-I'd k*ll Bruno…
-Me too.

'Cause he's better-looking than me.

Oh.

I'd marry Matt,
'cause you'd always win an argument.

There would be no arguments.

There would hardly be conversations.

And he can cook.

-And I'd bang Nico.
-Yeah.

Just to see what the fuss is about.

Just keep your feet away from my Doritos.

Were you drinking chardonnay?

I don't need a new glass.

You want to just bring the bottle?

[laughter]

Yeah, absolutely.

Hey, we're all cutting her off.

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

The guests are just clearing
off the bridge deck aft,

so we're gonna lift the Skis first.

-Line's ready.
-Okay, stand by.

All right, I'm coming up now.

-Pull it--pull it harder.
-Yeah, Bru.

-It's good.
-Yeah, that's good.

Well done, everybody.

How's everything on the inside today?
Has it cooled down a little bit?

Jen said that Kate was
in a bad mood this morning--

like, freaked out on her again.

Now she's happy.

Just riding the roller coaster.

Nico seems so much more calm
and less stressed and stuff now.

Nico and I have plans

to stay in St. Maarten a couple days.

He's been really stressed out,

so I think it will be
a good way to decompress

from this crazy season.

Maybe you're gonna have
a good effect on him, Bri.

Ha!

Maybe.

♪♪

Put all the placemats out.

Let's put Captain Lee there.

Let's just break a glowstick
and pour it all over.

How cute. That makes me so happy.

I love it.

I love cucumber, and it's good for you.

♪♪

-Hey, Matt.
-Hey, how are ya?

Uh…

We need to put
the boiling pot of water on.

The way I see dinner tonight
is very simple.

Just don't mess it up.

Mahi.

I don't want to disappoint the crew, and I
don't want to disappoint Captain Lee.

And plus, like, I'm tired
of getting my ass kicked.

I'm gonna shut him up.

I got to prove to him that I can do this.

This meal has to go perfectly.

Aah! That f---ing burns.

-Coming up…
-It smells fishy.

Ugh, I wouldn't eat that.

You don't like scallops?

-You don't eat fish.
-I don't eat fish.

F--- me.

[light upbeat music]

[light upbeat music]
♪♪

Shelly, that dress is so pretty.

I wore this for Captain Lee.
[laughs]

-Thank you.
-You ladies look stunning this evening.

Well, you look stunning too.

Look at Captain Lee
in his white neon party outfit.

It's really nice.

Mary Anne dresses me well.

Let's go bust a move.

Yeah.

Cheers, girls.

Guys, I'm bummed this is our last night.

-Captain Lee!
-Am I white enough?

-Look at you!
-Captain Lee.

You look so handsome.

I saved you a seat right here.

All right.

You all look so lovely this evening.

His little outfit's so cute.

-It's so cute.
-I know.

-He's so cute.
-He's real cute.

Oh, Lord.

We want to put Captain Lee in the middle,

and I'll take a picture; do you mind?

-Not at all.
-Captain Lee, do you care?

He's used to this.

The dinner with the guests
thing is a bit awkward.

They may get a little carried away.

-Everybody stay away from Captain Lee.
-I'll get on the end.

One, two, three.

-Good.
-But, I mean, it comes with the territory,

and you just have to roll with it.

Thank you so much.

You have the seat next to Captain Lee.

-Susie's across from me.
-Susie.

We're fighting over you.

Ugh, these stairs kick my butt.

The pillows are heavy.

Did I tell you that Kyle
has been flirting with me?

-Really?
-What happened?

I can pick up people's vibes,
and I'm picking up what he's putting down.

He's a parent. I'm a parent.

-Nice.
-We have a lot in common.

And he's just an intriguing individual.

Seriously, he's actually
a really cool guy.

-Yeah, I like that.
-Yeah?

Like, he's not your average Joe.

He's not a basic bitch.

You just need to get on that dude.

-Yes.
-Get him, girl.

-Ay, ay, ay.
-F--- yeah mon.

[singing]

I'll show that son of a b----.

Cooking for Captain Lee's
actually more intimidating

than cooking for the guest.

I want to make sure he's impressed,

so I'm doing the seared scallops,

and then we're going to fresh Mahi.

I've got that perfect crust
on the top of that fish.

I hope they like it.

More importantly, I really hope
the captain likes it.

Seared scallop salad with lemon dressing.

Yes. Ooh!

[tense music]

-Oh, my.
-Oh, my gosh, that looks amazing.

-This looks great.
-This is a seared scallop salad

and there's a lemon dressing.

Can someone try the scallops,
they're gummy.

You don't like the scallops?

If they're gummy, I don't like them.

-I love scallops.
-Does somebody want mine?

-No.
-Can't do it?

It's all about the dressing.

He's a saucier.

I've worked on private boats

where the owners are on there
for months at a time.

They don't want every night
to be rich and crazy.

Charter guests need all that,
want all that,

expect all that, and he's just not…

all that.

We've had more salad in the past few days,
then I've had in a month.

Captain Lee, are you coming
to our pajama jam later?

-Pajama jam?
-Yeah, you're coming to--

You don't have to put your pajamas on.

I may have some serious paperwork
that I have to indulge in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[upbeat music]

Look at these little fronds.

-I really like this dish.
-Ooh.

Mahi at 11 o'clock.

Ooh, this looks awesome.

It smells fishy.

Ugh, I wouldn't eat that.

-You don't each fish.
-I don't eat fish.

She doesn't like fish.

Would you like fettuccini instead?

-Yeah, if you don't mind.
-No, we have it.

You're drinking Caymus, right?

Yes, please.

She doesn't like Mahi.

-Who doesn't like Mahi?
-Meredith.

Does it say Mahi on her dislikes?

-No, it doesn't.
-Matt, sorry.

-Brittany also wants fettuccini.
-I can't read minds here.

I mean, I can't win.

I follow the preference sheets,

and all the captain sees

is the charter guests not liking the fish.

That looks really bad on me.

It's hot.

[sighs] Okay, go.

Pardon me.

Thank you. That looks delicious.

-Did everybody get theirs?
-[women] Yes.

This dinner, you know, is exactly what
I don't want to see out of Matt.

Mediocrity is just not acceptable.

[singing]

Jen, you're early girl. Time to knock off.

Cool. Bye, thanks.

Bye.

-Kyle.
-Copy.

Captain Lee, I can do a split.

[laughter]

I can do a split.

You're jealous 'cause I can do a split.

-Are you gonna do one?
-'Cause you can't do a split.

Can you give me this in an IV?

-Jen.
-Yeah?

We haven't really spoken much today.

I know. It's been one of those days.

Why? What's up?

Kate wasn't happy with me this morning.

But then, magically, she was tolerable.

It's like up and down.
I never know what I'm gonna get.

It is really refreshing to have somebody
to talk to that gets me.

And I've kind of always had
a thing for accents,

although I don't really understand

half the sh-- that comes out of his mouth.

A little bit disconcerting.

Huh?

Is it a bit disconcerting?

No, it--it's like a piece of poop
that's not resolved,

but it's professional at the moment.

All right.

We'll talk more tomorrow.

I know I talk a lot.
It's not a bad thing.

-Sleep well.
-You too. Good night.

Shelly, we're supposed
to go upstairs and disco.

We've having a PJ party.

-Come on in.
-Oh, beautiful.

-I feel like I'm in Studio 51.
-It's 54.

My sparkly keeps falling down on my boobs.

Captain! Come on in.

Wow, check this out.

You have something blinking in your chest.

You know, I've always been overdeveloped

-and undertapped.
-Sh--.

There's always, like, one group of ladies

that are just, like, batsh-- nuts.

I'm gonna say it.

I mean, and they're fun.

Captain Lee, I love you so.

I'm just a child of Jesus…

Captain Lee…

[slurred singing]

And I don't judge, 'cause I'm a Christian…

Walk around with a vag*na on my head…

If you can't speak your mind,
then you're not an American.

I'm just gonna excuse myself.

Captain Lee, you know
what I'm more impressed with?

That you're a very intelligent man.

-I try.
-I'm gonna check on Britt.

I'll go find her.

-Captain Lee, come over here with me.
-You want me to come over. Okay.

-I'm the primary
-Oh, whatever.

Oh no, he's comfortable.

You don't have to move.

I'm not dealing with that sh--.

-Poor Captain.
-Want me to go help Shelly?

We don't want to be in there.

No, y'all need to go help her.

She's out of control.

♪ I love you, honey ♪

Shelly with Captain Lee--

that's gonna be a disaster.

[laughs]
[sighs]

I think you're very intelligent,

and I love who you are as a person.

I don't know what it is about Captain Lee

and his power over women
of a certain demographic,

but it is strong.

Look at her beautiful robe.

I've got a pretty robe
I can wear to the party.

-Shelly?
-What?

-Can you come here?
-I know.

Come here.

Primary charter guest friends
are just trying to help out.

There's a fine line there
between being a lot of fun…

♪ Hello, baby ♪

And sloppy.

-No, don't do the splits.
-Yeah.

Oh, Lord.

I am getting ready to turn in,
'cause I do have a full day tomorrow.

I'm just talking. I just…

Am I being bad up there?

Is that why you got me out of there?

-Oh, she's such a mess.
-Sh--.

-I don't like f---ing drama, okay?
-You're being mean to us.

-And we love you--
-Are you f---ing kidding me?

Okay, I'm the primary.

You don't f--- with the
primary, stupid asses.

Coming up…

Come on, Boo Boo. Come on.

I just have to pee. None of you cared.

-You got to pee.
-You need to go home.

You're a f---ing idiot.

-Whatever, whore.
-[men] Whoa.

-I don't like f---ing drama, okay?
-You're being mean to us.

-And we love you--
-Are you f---ing kidding me?

Okay, I'm the primary.
You don't f--- with the primary.

Stupid asses.

I guess I would rather have
the night f---ing happen.

Yup, oh, the pajama party?

Yup. I'm not gonna put my PJs on now.

It sucks. I mean, who likes
to get shredded in front of your peers?

I'm getting tired.

Keeping it fun and exciting

isn't the most--it's not
the easiest thing to do.

I thought these were my friends.

Hi. I love your robe.

Oh, Kate, did you hear
what they did to me?

What?

They were mad because I was talking
to Captain Lee, and they were jealous.

They thought Captain Lee liked me.

I don't f---ing care about Captain Lee.

-Oh, my goodness.
-It didn't matter,

because I'm the primary.

But I don't care.

That's--that's--

-That's…
-Unforgivable.

They're like, "We don't want
you to talk to Captain Lee."

It's sloppy messy.

It's sloppy messy drunky messy sloppy-y.

I'm sure that maybe they will
regret it in the morning.

It's like the stages of being hammered.

"This is fun. I love everyone."

"I really love everyone."

"I hate you all."

"I hate my life. Good night."

I think I need to choose some new friends.

[upbeat music]

♪♪

Get up, brah.

♪ Doo, doo, doo ♪ Good morning.

Hi. Where's the coffee?

That's what I was gonna say.

-Cream and sugar.
-No worries.

Jen? There's a guest awake.

Okay, f---.

Um, I--

She just asked for a coffee and a water.

-I'll make it for her.
-Thank you. I love you.

Yeah, I f---ed up this morning,
and my alarm didn't go off.

-It's all right.
-Thank you.

Stew 101.

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

Kate, Lee.

Can I see you in the wheelhouse
for a quick second?

Hi.

-So I have a question.
-Yes.

What did you think
of Matt's dinner last night?

I think scallops are not
a hit with everyone.

I think there was no starch with the main.

It was just Mahi and asparagus.

I liked the color.

I thought it was okay.

I thought it was better than his usual.

Mm-hmm, I could tell he was
putting in more effort.

Um, had these guests had
more discerning tastes

or less wine,

they might not have thought
it was as good.

Even Matt's best is just not good enough.

Two more dinners. One more arrival.

Indeed.

Zero more chances for a new deckhand.

[laughs]
Get out of here.

I think I'm from a different world.

-Are you?
-Have I?

-Yeah.
-No.

Yes.

You're a tough cookie to crack, you.

You got to like,
make people sweat a little bit.

-It's kind of fun.
-You gonna make me sweat?

-Uh, I didn't say that.
-[laughs]

These girls aren't even my friends.

-Hey.
-How are you.

Great.

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

What you making, bro? You making omelets?

-Yes, sir.
-You don't f--- around, do you?

No.

Do you happen to know
where Meredith and Susie are?

If they were smart,
they got off last night.

[laughs]

-[people talking]
-Bloody Mary?

-I'll have a mimosa.
-Mimosa?

[humming]

-Hi.
-Hi.

I need two Bloody Marys and a mimosa.

-I got it.
-Thank you.

-Big-time drama last night.
-Oh, yeah?

-The crying.
-[gasps]

-Screaming.
-What happened?

I'll tell you when we get the drinks out

and the food out.

-Hey, Matt?
-Hi.

What's the breakfast special this morning?

It's a ham, chicken sausage,
pepper omelet.

Did you do the mimosa yet?

Coffee with milk.
No, the Veuve is right there.

I've trained plenty
of stewardesses in my yachting career,

but with Jen, it's different.

She's starting at an older age

where she's kind of more set in her ways.

She's not in the learning stage
of her life anymore.

I mean, she hasn't changed her hair

in ten years, obviously.

[humming]

It's beautiful.

Pardon me. There you go.

Wow. This is so good.

Mmm, it's very good. Oh, thank you, hon.

How is it this morning?

Everyone's in good moods.

Yay.

You happy with how the season went?

Yeah, I really am.

It's kind of sad.

[laughs]

I'm serious.

It went by so quick.

Didn't go by very quick.

Right now, Bri's been a good thing for me
and a good escape,

but I don't know what I'm gonna do next.

It's time to start to assess what
I'm gonna do after the season.

Two dinners left.

Two half days and a full day.

That's it. Back to reality.

-The real world.
-This is the real world.

Yeah?

Coming up…

When you're on charter,
sh-- should be getting done.

This morning, they had f--- all
when they woke up.

Kyle just got here, so I don't know why
he's got all these opinions,

especially about the interior.

That sh-- needs to change.

Do you ladies want anything else to drink?

You all doing good?

Another mimosa? Sure.

Okay, deck guys, let's pick up the anchor.

-You want me in your hold?
-F--- off.

[laughs]

Steward.

Anchor's home and secure.

Roger that.

Good job, Nico.

[light upbeat music]

The tension is like you could cut it.

I f---ing hate tension.
I don't need this in my world.

That wasn't even funny.

All right, let's get in position
and get this thing to the dock.

-Finally.
-Ready on the aft.

Ready on the bow.

Listen, if you're not packed,
probably start getting packed.

All right, so I'm just
sticking this in here.

Bow's clear of the break wall.
You're good to start swinging.

That wind's pushing us.

Hey, Kyle, did you test those controls?
'Cause sometimes they don't work.

Yeah, they're all tested
and ready to rock and roll.

[indistinct]

-Chuck it.
-The bow line's on.

You ready?

Talk to us, Kyle.
Do we need to come forward?

Yeah, you're good.

Lock that spring line.

Lock the spring line.

I'm all good on the stern, Captain.

Hey, Bruno, tighten that.

Tighten that. This one.

-Lock it down.
-Well done, everybody.

-Outstanding.
-Nice driving, Cap.

This whole season has been
a big learning experience

not just for the deck crew
but also for me.

Even though I may not be boatswain,

I do take my job seriously.

We're all good. Thank you, guys.

Hold on, slow, slow, slow,
slow, slow, slow.

It's a big angle.

All crew, all crew,
I need everybody on the aft deck

ASAP.

Let's hurry up. They're getting off.

Jesus Christ, always on my back,
riding me so hard this season, Kelley.

-Oh, f--- you.
-[laughs]

Oh, here they come. Here they come.

-Bye.
-Thank you…

-Thank you for everything.
-So much.

I hope you enjoyed it.

We had a wonderful time.

Thank you. Enjoy your trip home.

-Thank you so much.
-Aw!

-Shelly.
-Thank you.

Y'all were so lovely.

And on behalf of all of us, Captain Lee,
your guys are just amazing.

Five star, five star.
I can't say it even any more than that.

It was perfect.

The food, Matt-- I mean,

-you're so talented.
-Thank you.

Your salad dressing's off the chart.

Thank you.

I knew the guests would love my cooking.

Captain was dead wrong about me.
In your face!

This is yours. Thank you so much.
You guys were just amazing.

-Bon voyage.
-Bye.

-[all] Bye!
-Take care.

-Okay, let's go to work.
-Thank you.

[upbeat music]

♪♪

Hey, what do you think about the tip?

I think it'll be good.

I think I'm excited.

I think maybe we would have got
$2,000 each, hopefully.

I need everybody in the crew mess

in five minutes.

Copy that.

Show me some tip money.

[sighs]

All in all, I think it was a good charter.

Your girls did a good job on service.

The toy situation came off well.

You guys did a good job with that.

That being said,
let's get right to the tip.



Yeah, Bruno, that's exactly
the look I got.

It's like we're just
f---ing stuck on 15,000.

I'm not impressed.

That's mediocre.

If you have one mediocre player on a team,

you have a mediocre team.

I've been wanting to see that $2,500 tip,

and it's not happening.

We've got one charter left,

so what I want out of you guys

is to collectively sit down here,

hash this sh-- out in a constructive way,

and figure out what we're doing wrong.

The important thing is that
we nail this next charter.

I'm almost at my wits' end here,

because it seems like
we get one situation solved,

like with the deck crew.

Now they're functioning as a team.

But then I've got the chef
that's just playing it safe.

And so now I'm hoping
we can finish strong,

but that's all it is, it's a distant hope.

Okay?

Lash it out in the crew mess.

I'm actually very impressed
with Captain Lee's observations.

People think he doesn't know what goes on
below the wheelhouse, but he does,

and his tip meeting speech proves it.

I think the deck crew is stepping up.

There haven't been any major complaints
with the interior.

I think it's mostly aimed at Matt.

The galley is suffering.

Okay, I'll go first.

What would y'all like to see differently
from the interior?

When you're on charter,
sh-- should be getting done.

Captain was talking about
how we're gonna make more f---ing money.

What sets the tone
for the beginning of the day?

Service as soon as they wake up.

This morning, they had f--- all
when they woke up.

They had nothing.

Kyle just got here,

so I don't know why he's got
all these opinions,

especially about the interior.

And he can't be this uncomfortably
too close of a friend

but then also come in with opinions
about how I'm running the boat.

That sh-- needs to change.

Coming up…

Where the f--- do you get off
calling someone a whore?

I don't need this sh--!

-Whoa, whoa.
-Guys, guys, guys, guys!

What sets the tone
for the beginning of the day?

Service as soon as they wake up.

This morning, they had f--- all
when they woke up.

-That was the only time.
-They need to have stuff--

-That was the only time.
-'Cause the chef's cooking breakfast.

You know, I trust Kyle,

but instead he decides to run his mouth

to the person that I least want him
to run his mouth to.

I will take over
the early service this charter,

because I've done many breakfast services.

And what else?

Matt, I think you did
a great job this charter.

Any notes at all?

Maybe take as much risk as possible.

-Risk.
-Go extreme.

-Like, as much, like--
-Something expl*sive.

I have a feeling the next guests
are gonna want something crazy.

I have something up my sleeve.

To really end this charter
season on a high note,

it's important that Matt delivers
his best charter food ever.

We have guests arriving in 21 hours.

Vama-vama-vamos.

Good talk, good talk.

Hey, Ma, how's it going?

-You all right?
-Yeah, I'm all right.

-You don't sound all right.
-I've been struggling a lot.

Everybody's struggling, Ma. It's not easy.

I know that.

Nothing. Working, working, working.

My family situation right now
is on rocky terms.

Dealing with losing your best friend
and your little brother,

it's kind of just changed my perspective
that all the bullsh-- doesn't matter.

Family, that's all that matters.

All right, well, I got
to get back to work.

-I just thought I'd call you.
-Alright.

All right? I love you.

-I love you.
-Thanks, Ma.

All right, bye.

[sighs] F---, f---.

So, Jen, what do you think
Kyle was talking about

when it comes to the breakfast?

There was dirty silverware
still in the dishwasher.

I had to rerun it.

I had to hand-wash it
even after the second time.

As soon as I asked Jen about breakfast,

I know that she slept in
and is lying to me,

because she gets defensive.

Why am I ironing Chris's shirt?

♪♪

[sighs]

Matt, Kate, Nico, I need you guys

in the crew mess
for a preference sheet meeting.

-Copy.
-Copy.

Here we go, baby.

Charter nine.

Howdy, howdy.

-Hey.
-Hi.

So how did your little powwow go?

I think it was productive.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

Last charter. I guess we'll find out.

Mm-hmm.

Six people, I think.

Timothy.

We had him on "Ohana."

He's a character.

I planned to give you guys 22 grand,

but there were some things wrong,

so we'll rip it.

-Okay.
-So 17.

He's a financial person.

He's like, "That's gonna cost ya."

So stoked.

This guy sounds like a douchebag.

He's a repeat charter client
celebrating ten-year anniversary

of his teaching company.

Timothy is bringing
his top three employees

as a thank-you for their dedication.

-That's nice.
-He wants to go all out.

The more extravagant, the better.

Oh, got to bring it.

We're gonna do some fireworks on a beach.

And got a chef's choice tasting meal.

-I see that.
-Any questions?

Can we please him? Is he happy?

Was he complaining all the time?

He is particular,

but he will let you know what he wants.

Did you get my list of ingredients?

Did you find sea cucumber ovaries?

That's the one thing I didn't--

Oh!

We had this conversation with him.

He doesn't follow instructions.

Ay ay ay.

As long as you just deliver
what he asks for,

-he is happy.
-Okay.

Part of me doesn't really
want to warn Matt

about how demanding Timothy Sykes is
when it comes to food,

'cause I think it'll just
freak him out even more.

And let's face it. He's probably not
gonna nail it either way.

We've got, like, 18 hours to get ready.

So whatever it takes,
you need to get it done.

I would like to get out of uniform
and get off the boat.

But I think that if we went
the entire crew,

it would just be chitchat
and a waste of time.

Let's change, just go
to a nearby restaurant,

-we can talk and make our orders together…
-Right there, across the street.

-and talk about this charter.
-Okay.

We don't have a choice at this point.
I've seen what Matt can do.

Timothy Sykes is coming on board.

I think it's time
that I just take the wheels

and drive this charter home
to Good Food Town.

So it's like a work dinner.

The night is young.

I'm feeling frisky.

I'm having a great hair day.

I think the girls will come out to play,

and we'll see what happens.

Don't wait up.

All right, guys, let's go.

I think you're overdressed, Kyle.

[laughs]

This is a great idea.

I didn't want to not get
prepared for the charter,

but I also really wanted
to leave the boat.

Right.

I feel like we're going to a study group.

-It feels good.
-We're gonna go do our homework.

All right, let's do this.

I like it that I'm on top.

[laughs]

Ah, my sunburn! F--- off, f---ing bitch.

-Okay?
-It works for me.

Yeah, I like it.

This guy just looks intimidating.

He is, and he isn't.

I think he grew up watching
"Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"

and he wants champagne wishes,
caviar dreams.

-Ugh.
-Cheers.

-Cheers. Thanks, Kate.
-Uh-huh.

Here we are. All right.

Hey, I'm curious what everyone's
getting into after we're done.

I mean, I know what we're getting into.

-A bed?
-Huh?

I'm gonna go back to Portugal
to get my visa.

I want to go to LA, California,
all those places.

What about everyone else?

Where you going?

I'm going back to Charleston
for probably--

To plan for Bali?

-Yeah, yup.
-It is funny like,

this is the first restaurant
I've seen this thingy.

-It's like the deep fryer.
-Yeah, it's really funny.

It's homemade potatoes,
so it's really good.

I wonder how Matt and Kate's
dinner is going right now.

Okay, I'm gonna start writing stuff down.

Night one is where I would obviously do
your tasting menu.

Cheddar foam on beet salad.

I know that he does love sushi.
That's a course.

He even says,
"Seafood, any fresh fish caught that day."

I love the wahoo.

both: On the black plate.

-So it can look nice.
-Okay.

We can do a steak tartare.

Yeah, so it's still raw,
it's still in the theme,

but it's mixing it up.

A ceviche.

A shrimp cocktail could be really nice.

Miso ginger salmon.

You all three got the same thing?

No, I got the flank steak.

-Is that au jus?
-Huh?

-Au jus?
-I don't know.

May I?

[music winds down]

I can't eat it.

Now, I'm big on table manners,

and I believe you get to know someone

quite well over dinner.

And this chick,

with her badly manicured fingers,

grabs a forks

and then just f---ing dips it in my gravy.

What the f--- are you doing?

You know I won't eat it.

I know you won't.

He's such a food--
like, he doesn't like anyone

touching any of his food.

He won't eat it now.
Like, he will not touch it.

Just because you're a sh-- stewardess

doesn't mean that I ain't
gonna try and bang you.

But when you make the conscious decision

to f--- with my food, you're done.

You're dead to me.

Wait, what happened?

Kyle's a huge, like, food germy

and doesn't like when anyone
touches his plate sort of thing.

Kyle is not uptight at all,
but when it comes to his table manners,

he's just strange about his food.

That's f----ing enough.
Eat with your mouth closed.

Oh, my God.

[laughter]

That's his thing.

Are you f---ing kidding me?

He won't touch that.

Coming up…

I'm not talking about "we."

This is between me and Baker, so f--- off.

I don't need this sh-- either!

Kyle's a huge, like, food germy

and doesn't like when anyone
touches his plate sort of thing.

-Are you f---ing kidding me?
-He won't touch that.

But it was just a fork.

I didn't, like, lick the fork
and then put it in.

It's just like, "Really?

Of course I'm the bad guy again.

I mean, I was a fool to think

that I was gonna have
a great night tonight.

You need to eat. You're a sh--.

No, I have one moral in life,

and that's f---ing table manners.

Do all of us a favor.

Please, please, please
don't even bring it--

She will get-- this is gonna be bad.

Just say you're not hungry.

Don't blame it on her.
And we'll all have a pleasant night.

She's a little cray-cray,
she's a little cray-cray, so.

I'm doing everything in my power
to just keep the peace between the two.

You guys come down.
We'll see you at piano bar.

Okay, guys. Behave, huh?

Beet salad, sushi,
shrimp cocktail, salmon.

So then you have a dessert,

and then you can pull up

some bullsh-- little
palate cleanser in there.

Yeah, I love-- oh, yeah.

I'm telling you, this is
a great meeting of the minds.

I like it.

Hi. Did he even eat?

-Uh-uh.
-It doesn't hurt to get rejected by Kyle,

but it sucks.

It's like the one person
that was my distraction

from these bullies.

Has left me with very little options.

-Merci beaucoup.
-Thank you.

Well, this was the most productive evening
we've had all season.

-If you just plan it in advance,
-Yeah.

you don't have to think
while it's happening.

Yeah, wish you could do this more often.

-Yeah!
-Whoo!

Hey!

Fancy seeing you here.

-Do you have Jaeger?
-What?

Uh, they don't.

Time to get loose, son?

Six tequilas, please?

-Six tequila?
-Please.

These sh*ts are on me, guys.

Ha!

Nico, it's f---ing good to see you, kid.

-Cheers.
-Hold on. Hold on.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You have something to say?

He is getting my salt.

Whatever. Just go.

Long day, son.

Whoo! I'm burning like hell.

Okay, okay, okay.

[barking]

-You want to go back?
-Yeah.

Let's go.

Now we're working smarter, not harder.

-I'll see you guys back at the boat.
-Okay.

-We're out.
-Yeah, I need beauty sleep.

That was fun.

I'm sick of everyone.

They all hate me anyways,
so why the f--- am I gonna be nice?

I'm not one to pretend

that I'm feeling a different way

than what I actually am.

There you go.
We'll go back to the boat. Let's go.

Perfect. Let's do it.

Josue.

Come on, Boo Boo.

F---. Come on. Come on. Come with me.

I don't have to have this f---ing--

I'm gonna piss. I'm gonna pop a squat.

-[laughs]
-Ow!

Can I, can I sneak into the bathroom
really quick too?

-No, no, let's go for--
-Okay, I just have to f---ing

hurt and get a UTI?

-Just take them off.
-You don't even care.

Boating on "Valor."

It's called a UTI and it's real,
and I'm gonna give it to you.

Let's get on with it. Come on.

-Come on, girl. No, no, no, no.
-It's right therrrrreee.

I hate you. I just have to pee.

None of you cared.

I just have to pee!

Let's go. You got to pee. Come on.

Nope, I'm gonna go this way,
'cause you need to go on.

-What's she doing now?
-Being silly.

Why you being silly?

-'Cause she thinks none of you care.
-Jen, you are--

Don't f---ing deny this sh--.

Holler. Check ya later.

-Yeah, whatever.
-You're a f---ing idiot.

Whatever, whore.

both: Whoa.

-I ain't worried about it.
-Jen!

She's being disrespectful right now.

-She's a f---ing moron.
-That was ridiculous.

-[knocking at door]
-Who is it?

Housekeeping.

What the f--- do you want?

Okay, I'm going to bed.

F---ing no one else is on the boat, and…

Bakers like, slam into thuhhhh
like da kittir manzz.

Jen, I can hear the words
that are coming out of your mouth.

They just don't make any sense.

Stop. Go to the hot tub, and have fun.

No. Stick up for yourself.

That's bullsh--.

Baker called me a name,
and I called her a name.

I just want to go to bed.

Where the f--- do you get off
calling someone a whore?

This had nothing to do with these two.

No, so why'd you come in here
saying you were att*cked--

What the f--- are you even talking about?

I'm not talking about "we."
This is between me and Baker.

So f--- off!

Baker…

[all arguing]

Shut up. You weren't there.

-Jen, Jen.
-Don't f---ing push my hand.

You have a f---ing child.

You're not letting her
f---ing speak for herself.

-This is between me and Baker.
-'Cause she doesn't need it.

I don't need this sh-- either!

Jen.

[all arguing]

-Back down!
-I'm gonna lock you in a bathroom

if you're still screaming at me.

F--- you, you will never lock
me in a bathroom.

-Get your f---ing--
-Guys, guys, guys.

-Oh!
-F--- you!

Next time on "Below Deck"…

That girl should be gone today.

May I say something?

I don't want to hear your voice right now.
This is not a conversation.

"The primary charter guest
will be arriving

via alternative watercraft"?

F---ing morons.

Looks like a nicer boat this year.

I'm proud of you.
This is your moment to shine.

Do we have protective goggles?

Champagne will burn your eyes.

Ah, sh--!

The pain is just taking over.

How I handle my stewardesses
shouldn't affect how hard you work.

-So you're saying I'm not working hard?
-I think you should make it less personal.

-Well, it's not--
-I'm not done.