05x03 - Jesus Saves

[bunniefuu]

-Previously on Below Deck.
-I'm a solo stew right now.

It's, like, f---ing hell.

The captain doesn't want Chris and Bruno

touching the lines at all.

It can't continue the way it is.

I'll snag day workers,
and then you can do stew 101.

-They're very happy. They're loving it.
-Great.

I love working with Matt.

It's like Canada in the galley
instead of North Korea.

You're in a relationship?

It's pretty difficult
having this temptation.

That ass on Bri, I would
totally lick her balloon knot.

Why [inaudible] f---ing [inaudible].

Hey!

Bri's priority number one.

Hangover's kicking.

I don't feel too good. I'm gonna
get back at it in a moment.

-Chris. Chris.
-This is the captain.

I'm just wondering why I don't
hear a response from Chris.

[horn honks]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Where's Chris, man?

Chris. Chris. Chris.

Chris. Chris.

Is Chris off for lunch?

[inaudible], but I didn't-- I
haven't, like,

seen him downstairs. Want me to go check?

-Nah.
-Chris. Chris.

Meet me on the main deck. Where are you?

Ugh.

[snoring]

What's your location, Chris?

This isn't Chris. This is the captain.

I'm just wondering why I don't
hear a response from Chris.

I'll find out right now, Cap.

Right now the deck crew
is under the microscope.

Bruno and I are trying to step it up,

and Chris seems to be doing the opposite.

God f---ing damn it.

Hey, Chris, where you at?

Little f---er.

F---ing three days into it.
Jesus f---ing Christ.

And when you find out, please let me know.

Copy.

[snoring]

-[knock at door]
-Hey, Chris?

Yeah, I'm up.

What the f---? Come on, man.

-Yep.
-Can't have big nights like

that if you're gonna sleep
then, all right?

We've been here for one charter.

Captain's calling you
on the radio, and I was too.

No way. I definitely messed up, huh?

Definitely f---ed up a little bit. F---.

-One time, that's it.
-Yes, sir.

What's up?

Do you have dinner plans tonight?

I sure like where this is going.

I thought maybe you
and I could have dinner

on the main deck aft like charter guests.

Yeah, I'm in.

I just would like to test
my stewardesses' service skills,

and feel free to be
as discerning and demanding

as the worst charter guest
you've ever had in your life.

[laughs]

Oh, look at that, not even a clue.

Nico, main salon.

So why was his radio down?

-Um--
-Truth.

-He was in his bunk.
-Sleeping in his bunk?

Yeah.

How are you gonna work
together with your coworkers

when you're sleeping; they're working.

They went out last night.

You know, you're gonna be dumb,
you got to be tough.

He's a whole lot of one
and not much of the other.

If you go to sleep while
everyone else is working,

it's so rude.

Puppy-ass belongs on the porch.

[inaudible] up here first,
and then move to the next, or--

Yeah, that's probably a good idea.

I'm overwhelmed compared

to what I'm used to on cruise ships,

but I'm literally like this
sponge right now

observing every thing as much as I can.

Whoo-hoo.

Just a heads-up.

Lee was in the main salon
when we were passing by…

-Yeah?
-'Cause he asked me, he goes,

"So what happened?"

I was like, "His radio was down,"

and he's like, "No, truthfully
what really happened?"

And I said, "Well, his radio was
down, but he was in his cabin."

It's just too early for stuff like that.

Yeah, yeah.

[seagull squawking]

Hi. You my day workers?

-Hi.
-Yeah.

Usually having day workers on the boat

would be less work for me.

I'm gonna have you go down and clean

all the guest rooms for us.

But actually I have extra work
because I have this one day

to make these stewardesses learn

everything they need to know
for the next charter.

Fortunately I feel like
both of their heads

are empty enough to receive it.

Jen and Brianna,
come to the main salon please.

Copy.

Should I grab a pen and a notepad?

Yeah, always. Always have that.

Always. Okay.

I'm gonna go over some
important laundry things.

Then we're gonna do napkin folding,

and then bartending class,
and then service class.

It's gonna be a long day.

Every machine should be going.

The lint traps are right here.

This is a fire hazard. Dirty's here.

Dry here. Full hands in. Full hands out.

When the glass starts to go in,
that's where you stop the pour.

Imagine that this line
through all the way here…

Steam goes through all the layers.

This will hold your fold.

I don't know the trick,
honestly; that's the main thing.

Fitted sheet is the ultimate litmus test

for you all to get experience.

-Could you define litmus?
-[laughs]

Learning.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

What was going on earlier on the radio?

You get a little action with Nico?

Nico's like, "It's too early to do sh--."

Then I'm like, "I know, man.
It's f---ing stupid of me."

I definitely disappointed
Nico with the nap.

I regret what I did, but I have a problem

with not being able to do

what I want to do when I want to do it.

Yeah, I have no clue how long
I was out for.

But honestly, that nap felt fantastic.

Brianna, I would like an espresso martini.

-I'm timing you.
-You're timing--

And Jen, keep ironing sheets.

Something wrong with this iron.

-Press the button.
-Ooh.

No, no, no.

Oh. I'm failing.

You're learning.

That's the bishop's hat without starch.

Think of starch as hairspray,
and the iron is your…

-Hair dryer.
-Curling iron or flatiron.

You know what? It looks
really good. Seven minutes.

Yeah, it's good. You're chugging.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, but I think you passed.

I've worked on boats before,

so I think this whole thing
is just quite silly.

So tonight we're gonna pretend
like we're on charter,

and you guys set the table,
serve our meals.

If you guys can master
a really nice dinner,

everything else we can figure out.

[laughs]

Kate, Matt, Nico,

I need everyone
in the crew mess right now.

Copy.

-Hey.
-Yo.

We have Mr. John Ealy of San Diego.

He owns several popular restaurants

in San Diego and Maui.

Definitely intimidating
to cook for someone

who owns restaurants
because, well, they know food.

John's bringing five of his
closest friends,

and they're all guys, and
they all love water sports.

-Okay, good.
-Maybe.

They'd like a multi-course seafood feast

including sushi on their first night.

Primary would also like to have
a tequila pairing dinner

on the last night.

They sound pretentious.

Usually tequila's only paired with, like,

bad decisions and hangovers,
so we can make that happen.

That's a wrap.

It was a miracle that

our first charter was as easy as it was,

and because these girls
have no experience,

they don't realize
how bad it can really be.

[together] We want food!

I would like to get a specialty cocktail.

-Okay.
-Like, Kettle with

little strawberries and a
little, maybe, lavender syrup?

Who ordered sh*ts?
I want food. I don't want sh--.

I would like a Cosmo, very light pink.

-I'll-- I'll get right on that.
-Hope for the best.

There's only two of us, Captain Lee and I,

so I am trying to channel
my worst charter guest

so that they get the real feeling of what

nightmare charter guests can be like.

I need cranberry juice.

I'm a little bit nervous, but all I can do

is just try to keep it together.

I'm so glad I get to watch you,

like, work hard and be nervous

and I get to enjoy dinner.

I got to go down in the bilge.

What's a girl got to do
for a drink around these parts?

[laughs]

Cranberry juice, where are you?

Ooh.

I'll be right over with your cocktail.

Well, that water sure is nice,

but I'd like something
a little more festive.

I haven't been this thirsty
since the great heat

wave in Alabama of '92.

Everybody, I got a word to say.

I want a drink before I go to the table.

This is like a fire drill.

Oh, Lord.

I'm the fire.

-Coming up…
-I have a little bit

of bad news for you.

We are experiencing a mechanical problem,

so we won't be able to get off the dock.

It's not a maraca, sweetheart.
Just shake it and pour it.

-No, that goes last.
-The matrons suffer.

I mean, it's been 20 minutes.

Ugh.

Oh, that's nice.

-It's got to get here first.
-Oh, f---.

Don't do anything to make her spill it.

I'm not even looking at her.

-Yeah.
-And here is a Cosmo.

-Oh, thank you.
-You're welcome.

Do you guys want to go ahead
and have a seat at the table?

Thank you very much. Bless your heart.

So we'll start with some salads,

a nice spring mix with fresh tomatoes.

I'm gonna need another cocktail.

I know how you guys like
to take your time,

so I'm just gonna order it now.

Am I being belittled, or is this normal?

I'm just very confused.

Do you know how to pour an ounce?

No. I'm just--

-This-- I mean, for her, yeah.
-Not by hand.

-No, I know.
-I don't--

-Just for, like, the future.
-You're confusing me.

Whatever.

I'm afraid by the time
it's gonna take for her

to learn the job,

we're gonna be done
with the season already.

Here you go.

Oh, aren't you sweet just
delivering it with your hands,

your bare hands,

like a f---ing cavewoman
just with your hands.

I know I said light pink,
but that's pretty clear.

Yeah.

So how would you like your steak?

Medium rare.

-I'll have mine rare please.
-Rare?

Okay. Coming right up.

She's good.

Even though I think this
dinner service-- it's silly--

I'm not gonna half-ass it.

I'm gonna play the part,
look the part, get the part.

Oh!

There you go. Here's your medium rare.

Oh, this is way longer
than I hoped it would be.

I know it's the one night
we could, like, relax.

-Pay some bills.
-Nope.

This is cruel and unusual punishment.

-What's going on?
-Both new stews

are doing dinner service

for Captain Lee and Kate
just for improvement.

That's good.

I think so.

-You can have this.
-Yep.

That was very good clearing by the way.

-Okay, thanks.
-I'm tired of teaching.

All right, let's get them in here.

Hey, girls, you want to come out here?

-Yes.
-So some observations.

Make drinks quickly.

That's the only thing saving you

from the wrath of your guests.

Always use a tray. You never
hand-deliver anything.

You two are intelligent ladies,

and I expect you to learn quickly.

You guys did better than I expected.

It was an experience to remember for sure.

With Bri there is a glimmer of hope.

With Jen, it's more
like a glimmer of nope.

-Thank you.
-Thank you .

[alarm beeping]

Hey, Jen, we got work in ten minutes.

-Sh--is moving so much, dude.
-I know.

I know, dude. It's windy today.
See this wheel?

-Yeah.
-It's not even

f---ing round any more.

I knew this job was gonna be
a lot to take in,

and I'm doing my best to learn.

The quicker I learn, the better
I can make myself look,

which I seem to have an issue
with that right now.

Today's gonna be a bad day
to get off the dock.

More brighter than this isn't possible.

People train their entire
lives to be sushi chefs.

They go from cooking
the sush-- the rice-- for years

before they even be able to touch seaweed.

I f---ing hate sushi. No, I hate it.

Oh, man.

Hi. How are you? I'm Kate.

Hi, Morton. All right,
we have guests arriving.

What are you doing?

This is really why I got into yachting.

-Well, I'll see you later.
-I hope so.

Maybe sail off into the sunset
with a hot foreign guy.

Bye.

All crew, we got provisions
down on the dock.

I'm sailing to Guadalupe
tomorrow with hot Jesus.

-With who? Hot Jesus?
-I'm not even joking.

He's from Sweden. His name's Morton.

I wanna sail with Jesus.

I know.

[phone chiming]

Hey, Steve. Our first officer's sick.

Well, we need a replacement.

Yeah, I mean, I can't expose
our charter guests to that.

-Yeah?
-I don't have a first mate,

and it's totally illegal
to leave the dock without him.

I can't move the boat
until we get somebody in here.

Could you maybe do it
and get away with it?

Yeah, but not with the crew that I've got.

[laughs] You are totally just relaxing.

I took a moment to look at the boats.

I think that's when you caught me.

Bri's pretty. She's a pretty girl.

I really, really like her.

Are you on lates this time?

-I don't know.
-I'm on lates.

We can hang out…

-Yeah.
-And be friends.

We'll see.

Attention all crew,

I need everybody for a staff meeting

in the crew mess ASAP right now.

So we have a situation.

Our first officer is sick,

so he's gonna have to leave the boat,

and I'm gonna work on a replacement ASAP,

and given the fact
that we have charter guests

coming on in less than two hours,

we are not going to move
the boat off the dock today

because our crew is so green

that I'm not comfortable with it.

I am completely embarrassed.

I mean, we can't leave the dock
because of my deck team.

-We're gonna tell the charter guests

that we have a mechanical issue,

and give them the options of Jet Skis,

Seabobs, water toys.

The fact that we're staying
on the dock is great.

I feel like I've got the day off.

That means I can get off
the boat to go see Jesus.

Christmas came early.

I do not, under any circumstance,

want the charter guests to know
that we have an ill crew member.

-Yep.
-Thank you.

Roger that.

It sucks when you're stuck at the dock.

-I'm so happy.
-Why?

I'm sailing to Guadalupe with Hot Jesus.

Who the hell is Hot Jesus?

[laughs] I just met him down at the dock.

-Really?
-Yes,

and we're staying at the dock longer,

so that gives me plenty
of time to go to church.

You're gonna need to go
to church after you go to church

if you know what I mean.

Yachting is like being
stranded on a desert island.

Who would I want to be stranded with?

Someone that makes me laugh.

I can teach them to get coconuts.

[laughs]

All crew, I'm gonna need everybody

on the main deck aft in 15.

-Can I just sleep for the day?
-I got you, Nic.

Simple but elegant.

-Hello. How are you?
-How you doing?

-Captain Lee.
-John.

-Hello, I'm Brianna.
-Good to meet you.

-Hi, I'm Jen.
-Megan? Good to meet you.

Hi, I'm Matt. Good to meet you.

-Good to meet you too.
-Hi, my name's Matt.

-Nick. Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you, Nick.

-Nico. Nice to meet you guys.
-Guys, welcome aboard Valor.

-Cheers.
-Cheers, you guys.

-Cheers.
-Thank you, John.

Totally.

I do have a little bit
of bad news for you.

We are experiencing a mechanical problem,

so we won't be able to get off the dock

as quickly as we'd like to,

but as soon as it gets fixed,
we are out of here.

-Cool.
-Kate's gonna take you

on a tour of the boat,

show you your quarters,
and get you settled in.

-Sounds good.
-Right this way, guys.

-Oh, my God.
-So this is our main salon.

We have some bad news.
There's no alcohol on this trip.

-I'll go to the master first.
-That'd be me.

This is your master stateroom.

O-M-G. You all don't need
to see this room.

-Whoo.
-This is our sundeck, Jacuzzi,

bunny pad.

Gorgeous. Oh, this is gonna be
real fun when we're tipsy.

The vibe of this group is sassy…

They're greasing up that motor.

-Catty,…
-I need, like, Dramamine maybe.

-Calm down.
-You're a Dramamine girl.

What's your hunger level right now?

Oh, who's that?

Yes, please.

It's gonna be a very long 48 hours.

Like, some snacks, like,
light snacks or something?

Yep. I'll bring it out right here.

Hi, love. 2:30 lunch.

-Perfect.
-Snacks to get you started.

-Some salsa.
-Okay, so we have not

even had a second to talk
about this seafood extravaganza.

I like-- I like that. That's really nice.

It's not a great sign that
Matt is looking in a cookbook

for how to make sushi,

but what's even scarier is that
he's not embarrassed about it.

I got these really cool wooden
plates for the sushi, but--

Oh, yeah, we should definitely use those.

I only have four of them though.

Being stuck at the dock,
the chef has to be

on his A-game, and I'm a little nervous.

-Coming up.
-Ah! Oh, shnickers.

-Where is Kate?
-It's a sign from God.

He wants me to hang out with Jesus.

-Hello, guys, how we doing?
-Good.

Great.

So we're gonna have your lunch
served around 2:00 or 2:30.

If you want to play around
for the next two hours,

we can get you out in the tender.

We have our Seabobs, Jet Skis.

-Let's do that.
-Yeah, let's do that.

Just because we can't get off
the dock doesn't mean that

as an exterior team
we can't entertain these people.

I want all the fins and snorkels
inside the tender right now.

I want to work for that tip,
and that's what I want to see

in every single person on my deck.

So gentlemen, whoever's
going on the Jet Skis

can come on down here.

I need to be in front.

You don't want to be the submissive one?

Nice and slow. Hold on. Nice and slow.

Guys, let's make our way
to the tender here.

-Welcome aboard.
-Have fun, guys.

-Off we go.
-Oh, sh--.

Slow it down, sister.
I'm wearing your drink.

-Why do you think I sat here?
-[laughs]

One of our guests
owns a couple restaurants.

That puts a little bit
more pressure on me.

Ooh.

Think I want to try the Seabob.

You're like a human dolphin.

That looks awesome [inaudible], bro.

Matt. Matt.

The guests are returning shortly.

Copy. Thank you.

Watch yourself.

-Yum-yum-yum.
-That looks good.

Smells good.

All right, ladies, let's do this.

So…

So, like, I'm gonna eat it like that.

Put this-- Yeah, put this down,
and I want to eat like this.

Hold your salad up straight please.

-Oh, [inaudible].
-Hold your salad.

Jen is a little on the slow
side, but she gets work done.

Getting better.

This is a beef tenderloin stir-fry

with a sesame side salad.

This dressing is delicious.

-Right?
-So good.

-That's awesome.
-They're happy?

-Good stuff.
-Thank God.

-Nick, Nico.
-How's it going?

-Good to meet you.
-Good to meet you.

-Show Nick around.
-Okay.

Thank God Nick came.

These people paid
a lot of money to be here.

And they didn't pay to sit on the dock.

Like, these guys need f---ing supervision

when it comes to f---ing,
really, anything.

We're gonna need to do tequila sh*ts.

Sounds good.

Hey Bri, so what's the update on the boat.
Do you know?

-I do not know.
-I'm not buying it.

You mean to tell me that
you're not gonna test the boat

before you have someone that has
come out to pay for a charter,

and you're gonna say it's broken?

Would you guys relax?

I just think that's poor planning.

-Here is yours.
-It's about time, Jen.

[laughter]

-We need five more drinks.
-With the rice…

[inaudible]

"The hot rice, shallow dish is covered."

[inaudible].

"Start the…" [inaudible].

Hey, sushi, I hate you.

Sh--.

Get ready.

In yachting, you take it to,
like, the next level,

and we're serving sushi this evening.

-Yeah.
-Um, how tall are you?

Six feet?

I'm a little bit nervous about dinner.

[laughs]

What size leaf are you
working with do you think?

How do you feel about being
the sushi platter tonight?

-Sure.
-Okay.

Bruno's really proud of his body,

so let's use that to our advantage.

I think the guests are gonna love it.

The crew's gonna love it. You're welcome.

-Oh.
-Oh.

The idea of being this sushi
human naked person, I'm scared.

I'm very scared. Oh, God.

Just, like, get it over with.

I am confident that my sushi
rolls will be great.

I got Oahu tuna and salmon.

It smelled and tastes like candy.

Mmm.

Ugh.

But it's all about the rice.

Come on. You've got this.

If you don't cook it properly,

it's not gonna really hold together.

Ah.

It is weird. It's so f---ing weird.

It's not weird.

Bruno looks good in his shorts,

but needs a little help to say the least.

I'm not trying to say anything,

but you know, stuff that a little bit.

-Chris, where's Matt?
-A little bit more.

You bring out the D, you get more C-A-S-H.

Okay. Okay, cowboy boots.

I look like a cheap whore, man.

[laughs]

Oh, I should've put apple in here.

Motherf---er.

I wouldn't go crazy with this

'cause we're gonna put it on Bruno's body.

What?

So girls, this is your model
for tonight for the naked sushi.

Oh, my God.

Don't get me wrong.

-I could've done naked sushi…
-This is the Oahu.

But usually it's, like, a plate.

I'm not-- Okay.

But I don't think they're gonna like that.

-Is everybody ready?
-Oh, we're so ready.

-Showtime.
-I'm ready. Okay.

Our first course tonight is sushi.

Yes! I didn't even see that.

Wait. Is that Bruno?

I want the one on the star.

[laughter]

The tongs.

The tongs.

I'm just gonna reach in and grab this one.

-Oh!
-Oh, my f---ing God.

What is in there?

[laughs]

My happy smile.

Bruno! Bruno!

Would I have done the naked
sushi for six gay men?

Hell, yeah. Yeah. I like making money.

Bruno!

Yee-haw.

The sushi's real good though.

So yellow.

That is the coconut carrot puree.

-Whoo.
-You're all set.

-Jen.
-Hey, hey, focus.

-Whoo.
-Oh.

Hi, how are you?

This is mahi over carrot coconut
puree with micro asparagus.

Yum. Thank you.

That is really good.

Yes.

So good.

-So good.
-Um, just wake up

in 8 1/2 hours after whatever time it is.

-Good night. Good night.
-Good night.

My glass is on my…

Knife? That's a knife.

-No, it's called a…
-Chopsticks.

Chopstick. [laughter]

Focus. Wash the dishes. Get in there.

-Yes. Yes.
-Now.

I got it.

On every charter yacht
I think it's pretty normal

for the chief stewardess
to retire after dinner service

and let the third stew
take over late service.

Clean. Clean.

-Okay.
-Jen has everything handled.

-Cheers, b*tches.
-Oh, no.

I need to have a little talk
with the captain.

I mean, I'm not gonna be gone long.

Are you really going. to see Jesus.

No, I'm going to see the captain.

-I don't believe you.
-You got this.

You're my backup.

I think the fact
that I just happen to meet this

very similar-to-Jesus-looking
person, it's a sign from God.

He wants me to hang out with Jesus.

Hey. [inaudible].

-Ah!
-Ah! Oh, shnickers.

There's a little spill in aisle seven.

I'll clean it up.

Hey, this is nice.

I just want a little vodka…

-[inaudible]
-Not too sweet.

-Jen! Can you pour sh*ts?
-Oye.

Man, this is so relaxing.

Jen, take your shirt off.

-I can't. It's a dress.
-Stop.

-John, stop.
-Kate's nowhere to be found,

and it's so frustrating.

[inaudible].

They have a juicer.

-I know. I see it.
-I'm not your bitch, bitch.

-Open it!
-Ugh, scary.

[laughs]

[laughter]

-Are you asking?
-Matt, is eggplant parmesan

really gonna go good with tequila?

Um, well, the tequila and
the tomato that we have, um…

[laughter]

-[laughter]
-I'm gonna go to bed.

Yeah, I just hang out until the guests are

[inaudible].

Close it. Close it. Close it.

-Where's the sky lounge?
-Obviously where the sky ends.

Around the corner and up the stairs.

I need a tissue. Can I have a tissue?

You can have whatever you want, yes.

Could I have more ice?
Just a little bit please.

Yeah. This is a really hard tissue.

-You don't recycle?
-Ask Kate. Don't look at me.

I don't know. That's what I want to know.

-She's in bed.
-Is she the worst one

on the boat, on the yacht?

I didn't say it.

[funky music]

Man, this is so relaxing.

I'm having fun.

Good.

So, like, we're not supposed
to leave the boat, right?

-No. I don't know.
-I mean, obviously-- I mean,

she's telling us that we can't do that.

I mean, [inaudible]

It's kind of weird that
she gets to do it, right?

Yeah. I'm trying to find my balance,

but she's making it really difficult,

and I'm really actually quite perturbed,

and I really want to
throw her under the bus,

and I want both the wheels
to just hit her.

Keep prodding until you get
something, you know?

Get in or get out.

-This is not happening.
-Kiss me right now.

Kiss me right now.

[laughs]

I'm wasted.

I'm going to bed.

Come on.

-Thank you so much, Chris.
-Good night.

Good night.

Do you think we can top yesterday?

Without a doubt.

Maybe we'll get you on a table tonight.

Bri is like a breath of fresh air.

She smiles, and you're
instantly comfortable.

You're so wonderful.

Thank you.

You know when you have
chemistry with someone.

Bri and I have chemistry together.

-Ugh.
-Ugh.

-I don't feel all that great.
-[laughs]

Ugh. Ugh.

Let's get this boat off the dock.

Copy. Good morning.

We're gonna get you guys off the
dock right away this morning.

That's great.

So those guys aren't allowed
to touch the lines,

but I want one back here with you

-and then one up there with me.
-Okay.

Bruno, you're gonna be
on the stern just watching,

and Chris, you're gonna be on
the bow watching me and Baker.

All right, let's hustle up. Bow to stern.

Hey-hey-hey. Yeah.

-Is he off?
-Uh, yep. Off.

He's off. Pull-pull-pull-pull-
pull-pull-pull.

That's good. Thank you. Bow line's clear.

Bruno, stand by the tender and
make sure it's not moving, okay?

Nice job, guys. Well done.

All right. Whew.

Oh, my God, this is incredible.

How's everyone feeling?

[laughter]

Oh, look who it is.

[laughter]

Did you sleep all right?

Better than I have in a long time.

Me too.

-Yes.
-Thank you, hon.

-You're welcome.
-So good.

-Okay, standing by, Captain.
-And drop.

Give me three sh*ts.

All right, start just
cabling up straight up.

What's gonna happen to the RIB?

-Well, it's gonna move.
-Which way?

-Forward.
-Right.

The last charter
getting their RIB in the water,

it was just a cluster f---.

Pull it. Pull it.

-Wait-wait-wait-wait.
-Ugh!

-F---ing damn it.
-Are you ready to pick?

Yes, sir.

This means you want
the boom down, all right?

That was a good straight pick.

-Pull that in.
-And all the way down.

All right, Chris, pay attention here.

-Yep.
-Hold on to your line, yeah?

-Hold on to it?
-Yep. All right, getting in.

-All clear.
-Nice job, Bruno.

When you're cooking for people
with different preferences,

it becomes complicated,

so I try to stay as close
to my comfort zone as I can,

but I'm gonna wow them.
Tonight, tequila pairing.

-Awesome.
-Yeah, it'll be fun.

We're gonna do caprese salad
with buffalo mozzarella,

eggplant parmesan to follow
with Italian prosciutto

and topped off with fresh basil.

I think that this tequila
and this parmesan

with the Italian sauce will work well.

Any problems, come find me.
We'll chat. Cool?

-Great.
-We know where to find you.

It's fine, right?

They have you drinking tequila and
eggplant parmasean.

You could still change it.

You just need to relax. [laughter]

-You know what I think?
-What?

I think you should tell us
what the hell you did

last night; that's what I think.

Ooh, you did [inaudible].

I think Jen has enough to focus on

that we shouldn't waste
any time talking about

where I may have slept last night.

-Did you set sail?
-His mast never--

It was crooked and tiny?

It's definitely unprofessional.

You're supposed to set the tone
for me and to lead by example,

so it's a tough place for me to be in.

He did not raise the jib.
I don't-- I don't sail.

I'm a yachtie.

All right, over. Down.

Are you asking if we're really
getting tequila

with eggplant parmesan?

-Yeah, I'm gonna ask.
-Don't be a bitch.

Matt, is eggplant parmesan

really gonna go good with tequila?

Um, well, the tequila
then tomato that we have,

the tomato sauce, um…

Is eggplant parmesan really
gonna go good with tequila?

Tomato sauce and the tequila
might go really well together.

.Okay.

Is eggplant gonna pair well with tequila?

Gonna go for it still?

-F---.
-Some kind of Spanish?

Yeah, I'm thinking.

What do you call that Spanish
dish with the rice

and the shrimp and the bah-bah-bah-bah?

-Paella.
-It's cool, too.

It's, like, impressive.

I don't know what part
of Canada Matt is from,

but I think it's universally
known that tequila

doesn't go well with eggplant.

I'm gonna do a red snapper
with Spanish rice.

I mean, it's not a great feeling
having a charter guest come in

and tell you you're sh--.

I definitely feel like I'm
caught with my pants down here.

I don't know much about tequila,

but I have a beautiful
red snapper with Spanish rice.

-Perfect.
-Cool.

-Yeah. No, totally.
-It's a way better idea.

No worries. Perfect.

How do you think things are going?

I see progress with Bruno.

Baker's still a little nervous.

She gets rattled if it doesn't
just fall right in to place.

Chris is still lost.

-Did you have fun last night?
-Yes, I had fun.

-That's what matters.
-You're not mad, though, right?

-Of course not.
-Okay.

It's really fun.
We put some soap in there.

It's all lubed up for us? Perfect.

You got it?

-Whoo!
-Ooh.

This is the funnest thing ever.

'Cause you have a boring life.

-Whoo!
-Chris.

Chris, two seconds. You saw
the tequilas we had, right?

Yep.

Which one would be best
to serve the red snapper with?

How are you seasoning it?

Spanish style, so, like,
with Spanish rice.

Probably the Anejo.

And we have a creamy cheese caprese salad.

We a de blanco would go with the salad.

Chris just knows his booze.

Top-shelf bartenders
make such a big difference.

The bar usually speaks to me, you know?

I want to open a tequila bar in Sweden.

My man.

Jen. Jen. Kate.

Jen. Jen. Kate.

Kate's gonna start screaming at me.

No. No.

-Can I have a margarita?
-Yes.

With salt or without salt in there?

With salt.

Why did you take all of
the tequila up there?

I didn't take all of the tequila up there.

Well, where the heck is the Petron?

Well, if you move your arm, I'll show you.

-Ugh.
-Just use anything.

The rest of the Cuervo,
use that. Here, use this.

-Oh, there's tequila.
-Oh, there's tequila.

-Cheap stuff.
-She said you use the Cuervo.

Look what you've done.

Such a little bitch. [laughter]

-Oh, shut up.
-You are.

I'm just kidding. I love you.

Are you guys getting along right now?

-This is cute.
-Isn't it?

She sucks at her job, but she's hilarious.

It's insulting, and it's
definitely out of line.

You shouldn't be saying things

like that in front of the charter guests.

Those are fighting words, little missy.

Oh, come on.

I feel like the more Jen raises
the bar with her attitude,

the more I can remind her
that she shouldn't.

[laughs]

In yachting there's an old saying that

the charter guest is always right.

Cheers to night number two.

In reality, they're wrong
about 99% of the time.

In this case, I got to side
with the charter guests

'cause tequila and eggplant,
terrible idea.

The red snapper's been seared, baked,

and then lime juice, lemon juice,

and a tequila is coming up. Enjoy.

This was a good call
to mix it up a little bit.

-So here we have Petron Anejo.
-Mm.

-Cheers. I love that.
-Whoo.

-Perfect.
-They are loving it, Matt.

It's like Rice-A-Roni.
The San Francisco treat.

You're the San Francisco treat.

No, girl, ten years ago.

[laughter]

-Good night.
-Bye, good night.

Leave a note [inaudible] breakfast.

Everything was so amazing.

I've had enough tequila.

I know my limits.
We did rage last night, so…

-Good night.
-Good night.

How's Queen Kate over there?

So Kate told the guests
earlier that I sucked at my job.

No way.

That sucks. I'm sorry.

I mean, if it happens again,
she should be sorry.

Yeah.

I'm gonna get drunk tonight.

You gonna f---ing not nap tomorrow?

Nah, I'm probably still gonna nap.

Yeah? Well, f---ing pack
your bags afterwards then.

[laughs]

All right, let's get started.

Copy, Cap. Three sh*ts in.

Anchor's at the waterline
and pretty clean,

so I'm gonna bring it home.

Last time for this.

We're ready to rock.

Ooh.

Amazing.

So good.

We've got everybody in position?

Yes, sir. Bow's ready.

We're gonna go bow to stern, very front.

Right here. Throw it. Throw it. Throw it.

-Ready?
-There you go.

-Lock it in.
-Lock it on?

Here, I got it.

Good job.

We don't want it to end.

Yay, a belt.

Powder your little noses
and get your asses out here.

I think not being able
to leave the dock is gonna have

a huge impact on our tip.

The only positive thing
out of this charter was Bruno

being half naked on a table.

Pleasure. The food was delicious.

Thank you.

Thanks so much, dude. It was awesome.

Thank you so much.

-Sir.
-Thank you, sir.

Thank you so much.

We appreciate all of the work you've done.

Kind of got off to a rocky start
with not leaving the dock…

Yeah.

But you more than made up for it.

Bruno, special thanks to you
for such a good attitude,

and just everyone, just that
everything was phenomenal,

but here you go. Appreciate it.

-Thank you so much.
-Thanks, you guys.

-Thank you so much.
-Be safe.

-Okay, let's go to work.
-Mm.

So you're gonna be fridges
and pantries; you're gonna be

[inaudible]. Ready? Break.

Everybody in crew mess in five.

Hi, guys.

How'd you guys think the charter went?

-Amazing.
-I can see where

a lot of improvement's been made

in a short period of time for most of you.

Some of you still aren't getting it.

We had to make up a story

because we couldn't leave the dock

because we were a man down.

That's pretty pathetic.

Tonight you're allowed to go out.

Tomorrow I want everybody
on deck 8:00 a.m.,

and if I even think that somebody's gonna

decide to take a nap,

as soon as they get up from the nap,

they're gonna pack their f---ing bags,

and they're gonna get off the boat.

$17,000.

Split up, it comes to $1,545.

Gracias. I love that paper.

Now, give me some cash.
I'm gonna go make it rain.

Praise Jesus. Let's go.

-Come on.
-Hallelujah.

-Oh, is it a party?
-Yeah, it is a party.

We should put a lock on your door.

We should put a lock on your mouth.

Should put a lock on your vag*na.

[laughter]

Just enjoy your glass of wine
before I yell at you.

Oh, those don't go with that.

Coming from a career where I've had people

that I've managed to now be
at the bottom of the ladder,

it's definitely an adjustment
to say the least,

so I'm ready to get off of
this boat and have a good time.

Rowr. Yes.

Here we go.

Hey, what's wrong?

-Nothing.
-You're in a bad mood.

I'm not in a bad mood.

-Oh, my God.
-Let's go.

Oh, listen to that song…

Oh!

[Bri] Legend.

F--- you.

-Jen likes to drink.
-I'm never drunk.

Jen, nobody comes between me and Jesus.

Kate!

-Shall we?
-We shall.

[upbeat music]

Can I have a tequila?

Tonight is your night baby.

Last charter, Bruno stepped up a lot.

He was doing everything
that I taught him how to do.

He definitely deserves a good night out.

That girl's got moves, huh?
It's, like, yep.

I want one, I want one.

I need another one.

Jen likes to drink.

-[inaudible].
-[inaudible].

She drinks a lot for a little girl.

Hold onto the bar and you stay.

Oh, la-la-la-la.

She's insane.

I know how to walk.
I can walk, I can walk.

Praise Jesus. Hallelujah.

Hey.

Everyone's here.

What's up?

How are you?

I'm good. How are you?

Are you buying?

Yes.

What are you having?

I'm thinking of having a beer.

Never drink alone with Jesus.

That's what my grandma
always said. Not really.

Como se de la vamanos!

No.

Watch my feet!

Are you having fun?

That's good!

Chris, I believe, is definitely hoping

for a connection with me. Um…

Thanks for helping me with
the dance moves.

Yep.

A little awkward.

Most males are gonna be attracted to Bri,

but my confidence is always super high,

so I think that I have a shot

if I continue making my intentions clear.

I'll be back

I can walk. I'm ok to walk.

No, I have to leave.

I'm not gonna f---ing go out there drunk,
I'm sorry

No, I'm not gonna go.

Kate!

Kate!

I don't mind training you…

Ugh! I suck.

But, Jen, nobody comes
between me and Jesus.

I'm sorry, I want to go to bed.

I do too.

I'm never drunk.

And I wanna in my bed dafoolmetime!

God!

Next time on "Below Deck"…

This charter we have eight girls

getting together to get
sh-- faced and have some fun.

[together] Whoo-hoo!

God, I hate that sound.

You know who.

Bri.

F---, I wanna bang her.

I'd love to take you on a day.

You really are beautiful though.

Afro looks good on you.

[laughs]

There's no doubt in my mind
that Kate is hazing me.

[laughs]

Sitting here doesn't mean
that I'm actually

not doing anything.

It means you're not doing much.

I can promise you
there's gonna be a change

in the configuration of this crew.

What the f---are they doing?

Watch the bow, watch the bow!

-Did we hit something?
-God damn it!