02x04 - The House Within the House

[bunniefuu]

-

[4w]

How come you get
the best part?

I k*lled it.

[laughter]

Be easier to hunt

if we had one of them
fancy new weapons

like the Mage gave to the Trosts.

Aye.

[Boy]: Can I please have some food?

Shut it, boy!

[cage bars clang]

[snarling]

Blasted bugaboos
in the woods!

All sorts of weird
creatures out here.

[indecipherable speech]

Why are we keeping him alive, anyway?

Those were the orders.

He's a Dengdamor!
They blame the Trosts.

Just as the Trosts
blame the Dengdamors

for Pinkie Panto's disappearance.

Well, it holds true
if the rat's alive or dead, though.

The Mage's plan
doesn't make any sense.

So...

tell us,

what's your plan
for conquering Wendimoor?

Uh...

That's what I thought.

Nobody questions The Mage!

Nobody!

[struggling]

[gasping in shock]

Come on, come on...

[screaming]

[coughing and spluttering]

What-what happened to the motel?

This...

What is this place?

Oh, man, drummer, where are we?

We're somewhere else.

[4w]

[banging echoes within]

[boards clattering]

[murmur of voices below]

[struggling]

[hands slip and squeak]

Oh...

[screams fade into the distance]

I'm so stupid.

Magic real... Book...

Dang wand came from somewhere...

Now he's looking for me.

[rattling sharply]

[Scott]: Mom! Open the door!

I can hear you in there!

What do you want?

I want my phone!

Just”

Just go away, please?

[Scott roars, rattling door]

Why are you acting crazy?



Look, you're gonna get your phone back

when I give it back, you little assh*le!

[scoffs]
Stupid...

[quietly]
You won't take it from me.

It's mine now.

It's mine.

[telephone rings]

What up? Bergsberg Sheriff's Department.

Oh...

That does sound like cause for concern.

We ’ll be right there.

[hangs up receiver]

Four members
of the Bergsberg County Book Club

are... missing.

I should probably investigate this.

[Farah]: Probably.

You wanna come with, partner?

"Partner?"

Uh... [scoffs] It's just an expression.

What about them?

I thought the whole reason we slept here

was to keep an eye on the prisoners.

Right.

Ah, poop, okay, I forgot.

I mean... [scoffing] I do dr*gs.

Not now. Later.
[chuckles]

We left her alone before
and she was fine.

Hobbs'll be here soon. It's not like
they can just walk out of their cells.

Dirk?

Dirk!

Hobbs!
Sherlock, wake up.

[grunts, startled]

Dirk's gone.

Gone?

[Todd]: Yeah. Not good.

l have an idea where he went.

Also, why is this here?

Oh, yeah.

I should probably admit that
into evidence, shouldn't I?

[Todd]: Hobbs!

Yup.

[Bart]: Hey!

[banging on bars]

Hey, wake up.

I brought you some food.

I don't understand.

How did you get out?

Locks don't work on me.

And | was-l was hungry.

Can you open mine?

[door rattles]

Sorry, it's locked.

Want a donut?

Thank you, noble lady.

Have you ever had Chinese food?

Ken gave me Chinese food once.

It's made of pigs.

Mmm.

You're a good person, Bart.

I am?

I'm a stranger in this world.

You're the first person
to show me kindness.

Yeah, well, it's just a donut.

[lock rattling]

So, uh,

you’re new to this place?

You’re not one of them, huh?

You're from, like,
another state or something?

I'm a Baron Prince

from the Valley of lnglenook
in the Kingdom of Wendimoor.

That's just a bunch of noises.

[chuckles]

Who the hell are you guys?
Why are you dressed like that?

Get off of me, assholes!

Screw off, you stupid dicks!

[indecipherable speech]

[Vogel groaning in pain,
Amanda screaming in rage]

Get in there.

[snarling hungrily]

[coughs, wincing]

Hey!

Dungeons and Dragons,
we didn't do anything to you!

We're supposed to detain
suspicious types, you wet rat.

I don't even know how I got here!

See how they're dressed?

They're more witchakookoo types
from the forest.

I'm not a witchakookoo.

I am a frickin' person, okay?

I'm a person!

And my friend here is hurt,

and...and...

you can 't just
lock us up for no reason.

You can't.

Let Lord Badevil figure it out.

[laughter]

Hey, wait, where are you going?

Hey, where are you go--

God, I'm yelling...

l'm yelling at the...

the knights.

I’m...

God...

[groans in frustration]

You're not from Wendimoor, are you?

No.

Then welcome, traveler.

My name is Farson Dengdamor.

Just stop.

Okay?

All of this...

[Amanda]: Is that a [bleep] unicorn?
Oh, my God--

[snarls]

[miffed grumble]

[Hobbs]: So, uh, listen,
I didn't get the chance to ask you,

how is your sister
wrapped up in all this?

She and l have
the same disease.

It runs in the family.

Well, actually, she had it first.

Well, | pretended to have it first,

and then she really got it,
and now I really have it.

[Hobbs]: Uh-huh. Okay.

You pretended to have the...

You-you pretended to...
Why would you——

I did some selfish things.

Things | now really, really regret.

Most of all, lying to Amanda.

She wasn't happy when I told her.

That's, you know, uh,

karmically, that was
a good thing to do, I think,

although I suppose you still
did end up with the disease, so...

Oof.

Where... where is she, then?

I don't know.

The last time I saw her,
she told me to get lost,

and then ran off
with these four insane guys

who were following Dirk.

Now, with Blackwing after us--

Blackwing, that's
the top-secret government agency

that Dirk was talking about?

This is all my fault.

I brought her into all of this.

Okay.

You're okay.

It's okay.

He took my bike.

That's a heck of a long ride. Dirk!

Here, take this just in case.

Dirk?

Dirk!

Maybe he's in the barn.

Yup. Okay, I'm gonna
check upstairs.

[telephone rings]

[telephone rings]

Phone lines haven't run
to this house in 50 years.

[telephone rings]

Hello?

Todd!

Help me!
l have really messed up.

I fell down some kind of hole.

What? Where are you?

You're like, in the basement?

No.

It's not a basement.

[typing rapidly]

Hey, you know when I said
I wanted out,

I meant out of this room,
not just out of the cab.

Just tell me what's on those disks.

[typing]
A lot.

Tens of thousands of pages of files.

You know the first
version of this program

was called "Black Book"?

Don't read it!

-But last time you told me to read it--
-lt's secret!

No! No...

-All right--
-No...

[Ken]: Do you want me to decrypt this,

and then you'll read it, or--

No! l... Yeah, but, um...

Only the...

Okay, okay, just...

Is there anything in there
about disappearing?

Or people who can disappear?

Or people who can make
other people disappear?

Yes, actually,

there's about four different types...

You doing all right, man?
You look a bit agitated--

I got a lot going on! Man!

Okay, okay, take it easy.

ljust... I thought
this was a good idea.

You know?

I mean, we couldn'tjust
let you all stay out there,

all you people with crazy abilities.

I mean, what did you think
you were gonna do with them--

I mean, us--

I mean, did you think
you were going to cr*ck us?

[Ken]: Enslave a group of magic people,

turn them into a team
of super soldiers

out to strike down
the enemies of America?

Sort of. I just, I...

ljust hit a rough patch, Ken.

What happened, man?

Something must have happened.

The other Brotzman,

the girl,

and the fourth member
of Project Incubus,

we had them cornered,

and then they just disappeared.

Into thin air.

Just like Project Stupid Dirk!

And-and then the guy
who's helping me,

-M r. Priest?
-Yeah?

He's crazy.

And ljust, I need to know more.

Do you understand?
I need to know a lot more.

Or maybe...

you could just know some stuff?

I'll see what I can do.

Okay.

Dirk, calm down.

Where are you?

It looks like
the Cardenas house,

only it's much bigger,

like, impossibly big,

and also fun and festive,

but in awful ways.

So you're inside the house, or--?

I'm looking out the door now,

and there is no outside, Todd.

Listen, this is just speculation,

but I may be in actual
Judeo-Christian Hell.

Okay, okay,

look, back up--

Ooh! This is very bad,
this is classic me bad!

I've just really blown this!

How did you get where you are?

I kept thinking
about the stupid prophecy,

and how you said I needed
to take more control,

do things for myself.

So I thought, "Yes! I will!"

Good. Okay.

Panto said
he came from the house.

The house is clearly a thing,

so I borrowed Hobbs' bike.

But that was my first mistake.

It took nearly two hours
to ride over here--

Okay, Dirk, focus.

I found a boarded-up closet upstairs,

and then I fell down a hole
with a slide in it.

A slide?

Let's not get bogged down
in the details, please!

Hold on.

Talk to him for a second.

He thinks he's in hell.

That's a turn of events.

Howdy, Dirk. Hobbs here.

Hello, Sheriff.

Tell him I found the slide!

He says he found the slide.

[Hobbs]: Wait, uh, what slide?

Tell him not to fall in.

Okay. He says
careful not to fall in!

What, uh, what is this slide?

Ask him if he can climb back up!

Todd wants to know
if you can climb back up.

No! I fell down the slide,
into a room,

and when I looked up,
the slide was gone!

Okay, that's a hard "no" on the slide!

But what is the slide exactly?

What-- can you give me
some information on the slide.

I'm gonna need to know
what the slide is-- [thump]

What was that?

Did you hear that?

Hear what?

[thumping, murmuring]

That thumping sound.

Music?

No.

[Todd running]: Hobbs!

We're gonna need a ladder,
or a rope, or something.

Oh, I don't think I'm alone in here.

He thinks there's someone else
in there with him.

What, like a person?

No, I don't think so.

Does he want me
to slide down the slide?

Do you want Todd
to slide down the slide?

No, l-l really don't think
that would--

Dirk, it's me. I don't know
how to help you from here.

-Stay where you are.
-You asked me to help.

No!

That was a mistake.

I'm actually fine and great.
[thumping and roaring echoes]

Dirk...

No, look, what I was
going to say was this is on me.

I don't even know if there is
a way out of here.

The last thing I want

is you getting
trapped in here with me.

You have to be inside
the house somewhere.

What are you gonna do?

Keep looking for a way out.

[sighs]

Of course.

[Farson]: My family, the Dengdamors,

led by my mother, Lady Frija,

and my brother, Baron Prince Silas,

are the richest folk in all of lnglenook.

[Amanda]: Why'd these guys
put you in a cage, then?

These men are in service
to The Mage Kellum,

an evil Wizard who plans
to further incite the feud

between my family and the Trosts.

[imitating his accent]
The "Trosts"?

Farming folk.

Protectors of the woods,

but my family has always thought
they're just dirt diggers.

I got so sick of the fighting
that I ran away.

l was on my way
to find the Forest Witch,

Wakti Wapnasi,

of the Santi Santiga
who guides the Bofuki Nepoo.

[sighing]

Continue.

Wakti Wapnasi
foretold the prophecy to save Wendimoor,

and that means stopping The Mage,

even with his massive army,

the Kellum Knights.

He has conquered every kingdom,

and is marching on lnglenook,

the only place
he hasn't conquered.

This is great,
you're saying all kinds of stuff.

What happened,
you get the Wendigo?

That is why I came to this world.

If I don't fulfill the prophecy
to save Wendimoor,

I believe it ends
in great death and disaster.

Wakti Wapnasi knows
a great many things.

I wanted to ask her of the prophecy,

ask her how to heal the feud
between our families

before The Mage uses it
to destroy us all.

I should've never run away.

When Farson went missing,
the Dengdamors blamed my family

and came after me to seek revenge.

But I managed to get away,

and, with Wakti's help,
came to this world

to search for the great man,

Dirk Gently.

Yeah, I was doing that for a while too.

Didn't turn out great for me.

This place is way bigger
than the Cardenas house, Todd.

[Todd]:
Tell us what you see.

It's really weird
and interesting in here.

There has to be a way out.

Just keep looking.

[distant thumping footsteps]

Also, something's following me.

Can you see who it is?

I'd really rather not, actually.

[rumbling snarl, heavy footfalls]

It ain't like Carol
to go off unannounced.

Sometimes she'll go visit her mother.

She lives in one of them
retirement homes out in Anaconda.

But she’d leave a note, you know?

This is real strange, ain't it?

I mean, why would she leave
her jewelry behind in a pile of sand?

-N'uh-uh!
-N'uh-uh...

Uh, this is Jeanette
McGrady's watch.

I'd know that thing anywhere.

Well, I spoke with Buster,

and Jeanette
ain't been home either.

It's like the whole damn book club
just up and run off.

How many people
in this book club?

There ’s, uh... four.

Look, I'm not usually one to, uh,
get my shorts in a bunch,

but this just smells
like foul play to me,

and if anything's
happened to my Carol,

ljust don't know what I'll do.

I think something
definitely did happen.

Who are you again?

Uh! Sh-she's cool, man.

Jasper, look, I'm gonna ask you to, uh,

to not touch any of this

for the time being.

-Hot crime scene!
-All right.

[quietly]
There are five wine glasses.

There are only four piles of sand.

He's gotta be somewhere
in here, right?

Like, maybe underneath us?

Like underground?

No, I don't think so.

[ Tina, over radio]:
Hey, Hobbs!

Yeah, go, Tina.

Dirk, where are you right now?

Dirk?

-l...
-Hello?

[quietly] I think I can hear
someone talking.

[murmur of television drama]
Hang on, Todd.

[TV dialogue continues]

[TV]: ...those who are wise
will turn back now.

We’ll be ready for 'em.

Beware the secret of the vault.

You have this worm-eaten...

Heroes and...

[channels changing]

I heard strange noises in the woods.

Weird creatures.

Aclue.

What is? What's a clue?

There's, um,...

a thing in this house
that isn't in the real house.

I mean, there's loads of things
in this house

that aren't in the real house,

but this is... a thing.

Oh, man, Tina's got
some holistic going on too!

She says people are missing.
This is spiraling out of control.

[thump]
Todd?

Whatever that sound is,
it's getting closer.

What if it's the boy
we're looking for?

[menacing snarl]

[doubtful] Eh...

Seriously, Dirk, think about it.

What if the boy we're looking for

slid down that slide years ago,

and got trapped
wherever you are?

What if this is exactly
what's supposed to happen

for you to find him?

sh*t.

You're right...

[thumping]

l have to look.

[thumping]

[distorted]
♪ Flyin' purple people eater ♪

♪ I like short shorts ♪

♪ Flyin' purple people eater ♪

I What a sight to see I

Whoo!

♪ And then he swung
from the tree ♪

♪And he lit on the ground I

♪ And he started to rock ♪

I It was a one-eyed, one-horned
flyin' purple people eater ♪

♪ One-eyed, one-horned
flyin' purple people eater ♪

♪ A one-eyed, one-horned
flyin' purple people eater ♪

[Dirk gasping in terror]

♪ I like short shorts.. ♪

It's not the boy! It's not the boy!

It's not the boy!

Dirk! Dirk, what's happening?

Dirk, talk to me! What's going on?

Dirk! What-- Hello? Dirk!

[Tina]: I'm just throwing this out there,

those ladies got turned into dust,
didn't they?

lncinerated or something, yes.

But no.

No, we shouldn't be
jumping to conclusions.

Well, have you seen
anything like this before?

I've seen some...
pretty weird things since I met Dirk,

but I'd like to believe

there's still a rational
explanation for this.

So...

Who would be the fifth member
of this book club?

Oh, man. Oh, man.

Suzie Boreton knows
all those women.

She's been in a feud with them
or something, has been for years.

Hold on,

this is the same Suzie
who Bart said att*cked her?

[Farah]: And whose husband
att*cked Todd and Dirk?

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Okay, well, then,
I think perhaps we should--

Yeah!

[Farah]: Stay on the road.
Stay on the road, Tina!

[floorboards creak]

Scott?

[floorboards creaking]

Scotty?

Scotty?

[screams]
Dang it, Bob!

See you soon.

[screams]

I It was a one-eyed one-horned
flyin' purple people eater ♪

♪ One-eyed, one-horned
flyin' purple people eater ♪

♪ A one-eyed, one-horned
flyin' purple people eater ♪

♪ Sure looks strange to me ♪

♪ One eye? I

♪ Well, he came down to Earth
and he lit in a tree I

[music fades, echoing]
-He//o?

Oh...

Bloody hell.

Dirk, are you okay?

I think I got away
from the... whatever,

but this isn't better.

I’m in the kitchen.

There's a table that's been stabbed
by a pair of scissors,

and it's bleeding everywhere,

and I mean all that
in a horribly literal way.

-Scissors?
-Yes!

[crunching underfoot]

[heavy footsteps resume]

[gasping in fright]

For the record, this is not
the best case ever anymore.

[yelpsl

[wheezing in pain]

Vogel . ..

Vogel!

[Vogel choking]

Hey! Hey!

[Amanda]: My friend is hurt
and we need help,

and we're not part of the...
whatever it is, okay?

Shut up, witchakookoo!

Where are you going?

Hey, don't leave!

Please!

Hey!

[screams]

[Amanda screaming in pain]

Not... now!

What's happening?

Dirk, what's happening?

Not good things!

Dirk, what's happening?
Hello?

Why is there music?

Hello ?

I'm going in.
He needs my help.

Wait, what? Are you sure?

Yes!

Can I have a g*n?

[Todd's screams disappear downwards]

[Amanda screaming in pain]

[muttering curiously]

[screams]

I It was a one-eyed, one-horned
flyin' purple people eater ♪

♪ One-eyed, one-horned
flyin' purple people eater ♪

[pop g*n whooshes]

Todd?

Why is there a monster here?

Oh! Oh!

[snarling]

Well, I think--

Never mind, let's go!

Hang on! Hang on!

No, no, wait!

We can't go out there, Todd!

It's better than here!

No, it's not, Todd!
It's nothing! Only static!

What if we don't have an--

Are we...?

Oh, we're back in reality.

[laughs in delight]

Todd, you were right.

You--

What's wrong?

Vogel!

Help me!

Todd?

Amanda?

Todd!

Todd...?

Todd!

But that's impossible.

Todd...?

Amanda!

[gasping in pain]

[screaming]

Todd?

[screaming and sobbing]

Todd?

Todd!

[Farson]: You lied.

You are a witchakookoo.

You had tiny lights
all over you.

You saw that?

You're both magic.

Todd! Todd!

Hobbs!

[Dirk]: Hobbs!

Todd!

[Hobbs]: What's happening?

Where are his pills?
He needs his pills!

Where are they?
[Todd screaming]

[whimpering]

[Ken]: This is incredible.

Bart is just the beginning.

These people are more powerful
than I imagined.

You are in way over your head.

Yes, I know.
But what am I supposed to do?

[sighing]

Well, you can'tjust
keep them locked up

and expect them
to do what you want.

I mean, these people,

these things,

or whatever they are,

they want meaning.

Look, in computer science,
we call it a Causal Role.

What are you talking about?

I know how to get them
to do what you want.

But...

so do you have powers
or not?

I can help you.

But you have to let me.

And that means
letting me out of here.

Because right now,
as far as I can see,

I'm the only one on your side.

Are you okay?

So, um...

What...

What happened
to you guys?

[Dirk inhales]

Pbbbbt.

I brought you a gift.

What is this?

I think
it's the m*rder w*apon.

Right.

Right...

What?

[doorbell rings]

Sheriff's Department, open up!

[Tina knocking]

[zap]

[93393]

-Maybe she's at work.
-Or missing?

Or a pile of dust.

We could break in.

Illegal without a warrant, I know.

Wait, are you down for that?

Technically,
I'm already a criminal, so...

Yup, just give me a hair pin,

and I'll pick this lock no problem.

Shh...

Is that really
what you want, Suzie?

You want them to come in here
and save you?

[cell phone vibrates]

Yello!

I mean-- [clearing throat]
Tevetino.

[Tina]: Oh, hey, Hobbs.

Yeah, we're at
the Boreton residence.

She doesn't seem
to be home, but...

Hobbs said the Cardenas house
is haunted by a purple alligator

and they found what might be
the m*rder w*apon used to k*ll Hector.

[Tina]: That Dirk Gently
is really somethin'!

Okay, I'm sorry, what?

Where?
I searched that whole house.

Okay, we'll be right there.

Hobbs wants us to meet him
back at the station.

What about Suzie Boreton?

We'll be back, man!

Come on, I wanna see
a dang purple alligator!

[Tina]: Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go! Let's go!

[elbows him, grunts]

You're right.

This is most likely
the m*rder w*apon.

But this looks new.

This is fresh blood.

These scissors,

could they be connected
to the scissor sword somehow, right?

Panto Trost?

Screw Wendiwhatever.
What about real life?

Four missing women

who were last seen
at a super dusty book club.

Atree with a body in it,

a car in a tree with a body in it.

Then you got this impossible g*n

that somehow sh**t air,
despite having no moving parts?

A house inside another house

with the m*rder w*apon
hidden inside it?

Not to mention

some kind of purple people eater,

'cause that's what that was.

Yeah.

What?

Why are you all
looking at me?

Keep going round in a circle.
Farah, your turn.

Well, no, come on.

It all has to
add up to something.

Everything is connected, right?

Bart being here isn't
a coincidence, it can't be.

Well, yes, yes, of course...

Wait, no,

a guy with pink hair

who claims to be a prince

from a far-away land
called Wendimoor

where you, Dirk Gently,
are at the center of a prophecy.

It's connected.

Yeah! Yes!

Yes, well, obviously the...

It... And then, that, and...

Sorry.

[sighs]

This again?

Look”.

Dirk, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean
to put pressure on you.

I know that's not how you work,

or... how it works, whatever it is.

What if that monster ate us?

It didn't.

What if diving through
that static didn't work,

what if that just k*lled us?

It did work, it didn't k*ll US.

I couldn't even help you when you
were having a pararibulitis att*ck.

Well, I don't think anyone could.

All I ever wanted was a friend,

to have someone
who believed in me.

And now you have one.
More than one--

And what if who and what I am
is going to get you k*lled?

I don't know
what this all means.

I never know how things connect
until they do,

and usually before then,

it's just danger and death.

[Dirk]: Why are you here?

What have you got to do
with any of this?

I saw Amanda.

What?

I had like a hallucination

when l was having my att*ck.

Like Amanda's visions?

No, no, no, it was like...

she was having it for me.

Like, reaching out.

I saw her.

I saw her.

Dirk, as crazy as it sounds,

I think Amanda's in danger...

in Wendimoor.

Oh!

Ha!

We have to go back
to the Cardenas house.

Why?

And...

we need to take Panto.

[Amanda]: Vogel?

Can you hear me?

[knights laughing and carousing]

[horse whinnies]

Lord Triangle Badevil,

Hail to The Mage!

Hail to The Mage.

Hail to The Mage.

I've come for the Dengdamor boy.

[Knight]: We have other prisoners:

a boogie we caught
trying to steal our food,

and two travelers
from another land.

Only the boy matters.

What do we do with rest of them?

k*ll them.

Hurry up, will you?

While there's still
sand in the glass, you fools.

Let him go!

[sharpening blade]

Wait!

I'm so sorry.

I couldn't save you.

Shut her up.

I will keep you quiet...

[screaming]

It cannot be...

She's glowing.

She is a bloody witch!

[crying out]

hoanng]

See, I knew it!

[laughing]

Vogel, lunch!

[screaming with effort]

Drummer!

[laughing in delight]

Come on, come on!

Come on, Farson, let's go.

Now!

[shrieking]

[Farson]: Wait.

[Amanda]: You're letting her go? Why?

[Farson]: We can't just leave her to die.

This way!

[Dirk]: You said you fell into a room,
Prince Trost. Is this it?

Yes.

And you fell onto a bed
that then disappeared.

Yes.

Ah ha ha!

Well, I'll be
a monkey's uncle.

It's a Murphy bed.

Flush with the wall.

But in the house within the house,

the bed was down.

Is this how you came
through to our world?

This is where I fell.

Looks like water damage.

[Hobbs]: Where? What do you got?

[Todd]: I don't get it.

It's a solid wall.

How did you come through?

Oh...

Guys?

A little help over here.



What is this?

Home.

I come from a place
far away from here,

a beautiful, perfect place
called Wendimoor,

that l rule unopposed

as the most powen‘u/
wizard ever to exist.

You see, Suzie, there's
no point in fighting me.

You can't win.

I believe a lie has been told
about my world, Suzanne Boreton.

A lie in the form of a prophecy

that has been
kept secret from me.

A lie that states

that someone could end my reign.



because I needed a partner

to help me
uncover this prophecy...

and destroy it.

I just wanna leave Bergsberg.

I don't wanna hurt anybody.

Don't you, though, Suzanne?

I didn't mean
to get drawn into all this.



I'm a nice person.

No, you're not!

No... you're... not.

The wand wasn't drawn to you
because you're nice.

You're far better than nice.

You're interesting.

Hmm.

Nice people will conspire against you
to stop you having what you want...

Power.

Freedom.

Join me,

and you can leave this wretched place
and be a queen.

No one telling you
what to do anymore.

As long as you hold the wand,

you will be invincible.

Glorious.

Perfect.

Do you want them
to take that away from you?

No.

No, I'm never going back
to the way things were.

What do you want me to do?

I need you to k*ll Dirk Gently.

♪ Well, bless my soul, rock 'n' roll I

♪ Flyin' purple people eater ♪

♪ Pigeon-toed, under-growed
Flyin' purple people eater ♪

♪ I like short shorts! ♪

♪ Flyin' purple people eater ♪

I What a sight to see I

♪ Purple people? ♪

♪ Well, he went on his way
and then what do ya know? ♪

♪ I saw him last night on a TV show ♪

♪ He was blowing it out
really knockin' 'em dead ♪

♪ Playin' rock 'n' roll music
through the horn in his head ♪



Tequila!