[♪ musical swirl ♪]
- All right, everyone.
The gig today is at the
daycare center,
so keep your
conversations G-rated.
Devin, I don't wanna hear
a peep outta you
about your uncle's drug cartel.
- But my uncle's drug cartel
was what I talked
about as a kid.
- When I was a kid,
my mom made us say
fluff instead of farted.
[Devin chuckles]
- I ate crayons as a kid.
Lots of crayons.
Too many.
[ominous music]
Waxy and snacksy.
- My friends!
If you don't have enough,
adequate sustenance
for your lunch, I made
some pickled mule.
It's the tuna of the land.
- Back, Gandolfini! Back!
[whip cracks]
[Ryan and Micah groans]
- Devin! You know the rule!
- Gandolfini, how do we
get rid of you?
- You can't get rid of me.
I'm the extra picnic.
The gum on the bottom
of your shoe.
The back half to your
horse costume.
- You're not selling yourself
very well, as always!
- Don't eat it all at one go.
[group screams]
["Wicket Youth" by Sego]
♪ Make it anything,
oh, anything you want ♪
[upbeat music]
- What's the name of this
daycare again?
- Uh, it's called Learn Fun Can!
- Oh, how great.
I have learned many things
from some very fun cans.
- You every can is fun, Ryan.
- Oh, that's not strictly true.
[Ryan laughs]
Oh! Oh!
Oh!
- And how much does
this gig pay?
- Oh, it's good money.
Apparently, Learn Fun Can
got a ton more students
after a competing daycare
shut down across the street.
- Run Do Yay?
- No, the other one
Jump Math Pies.
- Are these real names, or
you guys having a stroke?
- You can take one of my
grandma's pills. Strokeys.
I dressed up the bottle so
that it's less intimidating.
I should get this back to her.
- Why does this daycare
even need us?
- Yeah. Can't they advertise
through like maternity wards?
- Or infant formula?
- Or baby sign dancers?
- Are you kidding me?
- Cutest!
- Just a little baby.
- Everyone, we need
to buy a baby.
- Can we...
Can we do that?
- You just need to know
the right people.
- Man, we couldn't
afford a baby.
We hardly have enough
money to feed ourselves.
- Says the man who insists on
buying name brand yogurt tubes
with the riddles on the side.
- Well, excuse me for wanting
to feed my body and my brain.
[upbeat music]
What did the plate say to
the other plate?
Lunch is on me. [laughs]
Grogurt, you sly dog.
I'm not sure I get that.
The jokes are hilarious,
I think.
- All right, everyone.
Let's get the sh*ts we
need, get our money,
and get out of there.
Babies might be cute,
but toddlers gimme the
heebie-jeebies.
- Why?
They're just small people
with big voices
and uncanny core strength.
[gasps] Oh, you're right.
That is terrifying.
- [Zona] Mm-hmm.
♪ Now I know my ABCs ♪
♪ Next time won't you
sing with me ♪
- Oh, hello. You must be the
Video Production Company?
- Yes. Are you Miss Gwen?
- Guilty.
- Yes, you are.
- Owen, you really need
to up your flirting lines.
- Yes, I do.
- I'm so happy you're here.
We could really use a brand
lift here at Learn Fun Can.
- Very happy to help, Gwen.
- Um, she said Miss Gwen.
It's miss, right? Not missis?
You're single. And looking.
At me.
- Stop.
[water splashing]
- Milo, no spitting in
the aquarium!
[children laughing]
Sorry. It's our busiest day.
- Oh, yeah. No, no problem.
And thank you for hiring us.
I mean, we've never filmed
kids before, so should be fun.
- Oh, really?
From your website,
I thought that you exclusively
made content for children.
- What?
- All right, kids. One,
two, three, eyes on me.
Listen, this a film crew
and they're going to be
filming us today
with their high tech camera.
- She thinks we're high tech.
Oh, my shoe came unstapled.
- Do you think that we could
start by filming the kids
and then we could do
my pitch later?
- Yeah. Sounds good. Okay.
Let's get to work, everyone.
Oh!
Hey.
Listen, I don't
really want to
talk to you.
So...
- I like your shoe.
- Oh, you mean it?
- I like your hair.
- Most people think I'm
trying to hard.
- It's good to try hard.
- Thank you!
He gets it.
- All right, let's cover
some of these kids coloring
and, uh, except that girl.
She's eating her boogers.
- You eat your boogers.
- That was one time.
I thought it was a boba ball.
- You ate a booger the
size of a boba ball?
- They have the same
consistency.
You know what? Ignore that
Miss Gwen, they don't...
Where's Miss Gwen?
- [gasps] Miss Gwen is gone!
I love her.
- I mean, she should be.
- Did she just up and bolt?
- But she has my EpiPen.
- No, she wouldn't. She...
[Zona gasps]
She did!
- [gasps] She
abandoned her class?
Has she no maternal instincts?
- Maternal instinct
could be anything!
Pandas abandon their
babies all the time.
- I won't hear a word
against pandas!
- Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
Um, maybe she didn't go too far.
Devin?
- Way ahead of you,
baby. I'll hunt her down.
My pockets are full of knives.
[knives jingles]
- What?
[Micah gasps]
- A clue. I found
this shoe string.
- Well done, scout.
- I'm a tenderfoot.
- You will accompany me
on our revenge mission.
- Yes!
- No, no, it's not a
revenge mission.
I just want you to find her.
- Find her, question her,
make her pay for her crimes.
- No crime payment!
- Got it.
Chop off one toe but
let her keep it.
- What? Devin!
- She can reattach it
whenever she wants!
- No.
- Let's go, cookie dough!
[Micah and Devin grunts]
- We'll be back.
- Okay, okay.
Owen, Ryan, you keep the
camera running.
Get as much footage as you can.
I wanna get out of here as
soon as Miss Gwen gets back.
- Who's gonna teach the kids?
[Zona sighs]
- This is my Everest.
[upbeat music]
- They're gonna hate it.
- Yeah.
[sneaky music]
- A-ha! This is her
flavored ChapStick!
- Oh, cake batter.
Miss Gwen is a baker with
a sweet tooth!
- Sweet incisors, specifically.
The bite marks on this
cap are deep.
- Oh, a nervous baker
putting on a lip balm
in a parking lot?
[gasps] She's on a date.
With a student's dad!
- His lighter!
- She's falling for a
deadbeat dad
who sells illegal fireworks!
The authorities are
onto 'em too.
- They're headed for the border!
- Oh, don't waste your
dreams on a deadbeat, Gwen.
Hmm-mm, he'll never
feel the sparks with you
when he's got
sparklers on the side.
- I cannot believe we
cracked this case!
You deserve a promotion.
♪ Dream duo ♪
[Micah grunts]
[car alarm blaring]
- Heel frantic. Move!
- Say something.
- Um...
I've always, uh, been curious
about what life was
like in the womb,
if you remember.
- Oops!
- Where's Miss Gwen?
- I don't know. I don't
know where she is.
- We're trying to find her.
- Yeah, we're trying
to find her.
I mean, not me personally,
but, um, someone with a
lot of skills.
- I fell back.
- I hear ya. I mean, I've...
I've been falling
back for years.
Well, they held me back, but...
Okay. Why don't I just, um...
Is there a lesson plan or...
- What's your job?
- Hmm. Hmm?
Oh, I'm a producer.
- What's a producer?
- Well, it's...
Um...
Some people think it's
kinda boring,
but I-I actually think
it's pretty cool.
Well, you get to call to people
and you make charts,
and you're kind of in
charge of everyone.
- [Children] Whoa!
- Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I just have to tell
someone to do something
and they do it.
- Can you make him dance?
- I can!
Owen, dance!
- What? I'm not
dancing on demand.
- Do it for the kids!
- [Children] Dance! Dance!
Dance!
- I don't... I don't...
- Do it for us.
- Do it for all of us.
- Whoo!
- Do it!
- Child, your putting
me on the spot.
[children cheering]
- Yay! Yay! [clapping]
- No, I...
- You're my hero.
- I was gonna try.
- Hey, kid.
Wants some crayons?
- Oh, no. I gave that up
a long time ago.
- I know you want it.
I can see it in your eyes.
You're like me.
- Don't temp me, tiny devil.
- This razzle does dazzle.
- Be strong, Ryan. You
remember the steps.
[ominous music]
And the euphoria.
[car alarm blaring]
- You okay?
- I think so.
Ow!
- You lost your cool back there.
If you are to accompany
me on this mission,
you need to control yourself.
- Control myself?
You're the one slapping pe-
Ow!
- Chill out. It was my
non-dominant hand.
I never slap anyone with
the same appendage twice.
- How big of you!
[woman laughing]
- Shh. Do you hear that?
Where's that coming from?
[sneaky music]
[Gwen laughing]
[sneaky music]
- Are you kidding me?
- She's just hanging out?
She left us with like
a billion kids
so she could watch that show
about the single dad who
saves lives and solves crimes?
- Oh, "Divorced Detective MD"?
I love that show-
[upbeat music]
- So do you like horses?
- This is a rhino.
- Yeah, I know what a rhi-
I know what a rhino looks like.
I'm like 30 years
older than you.
- You're 45?
- What?
No, I'm...
Are you 15?
- You look 45.
- That is so disrespectful.
- You're a chicken!
- No, I'm a man, and my
name is Owen.
- You're a chicken man!
- I don't need this. I'm
gonna get a juice box.
- I want a juice box.
- No, they're only
for good kids.
- You're a donkey.
- I can't keep up with you.
You're like an insult ninja.
- [Ryan] Peach?
- That sounds pretty... [gasps]
Ryan? Are you back on the wax?
- They're way better
than grandma's Strokeys.
- Give me that!
[Ryan hisses]
- Oh, oh. What am I doing here?
Oh!
[children cheering]
Oh, oh, one handed.
- You're so strong.
- I am!
- What else can you do?
- Oh, well, uh...
I mean, I can...
I can beatbox.
I'm not professional or
anything, but...
[Zona beatboxes]
[children cheering]
You're all my new best friends!
Yes! Oh, yes! The
children love me!
They love me!
- Ryan?
Kid, stop that. You're a
bad influence.
- This one's on the house.
- I'm not into that stuff.
- Chill out, man.
- I'm not someone who
has to chill out!
You chill out!
[Owen sighs]
What's going on today?
- Just as I suspected.
Fruity.
- A-ha!
- Oh!
- Popcorn diversion
won't work on us!
Don't let her flee to Mexico.
- What?
- The firework show's over,
Gwen.
And we're just any old
whistle blowers.
We're a whole case of
Piccolo Petes.
- The firework theory got
debunked, I think, Micah.
- Then explain this
Roman candle.
- That's a Slim Jim. And
you brought it.
- Why on earth would you
leave your gaggle of kids
with a bunch of strangers?
- Well, it's actually
not illegal.
- Isn't it not? It seems
like it would be.
- I was just gonna be
gone for a few minutes.
I'll come back with
you right now.
- Thank you.
- All right.
- Okay.
- All right.
[car door closes]
- Hey!
No! I broke my one rule!
- Never read expiration dates?
- One of my two rules!
- Never look a
tortoise in the eye.
- One of my three rules!
- Never binge a nature doc the
night before driver's test.
- No, just never turn
your back on an enemy!
- Oh, okay, okay.
[Devin groans]
- Just 10 more minutes. I swear.
- This would never happen
to "Divorced Detective MD".
- [Devin] Man!
- And so the cool prince...
- Yay.
- And the evil witch...
[children cheering]
Are friends forever. The end.
- I don't want it to be the end.
- Boo!
[children booing]
- Yeah, Owen. Boo!
[children booing]
- Get a real job.
- Can you not. I get
enough from them.
- Okay. Okay, everyone,
it's fine. Owen...
Owen did a good job too. He did.
So everyone clap for him.
[clapping] Yay, Owen!
- I had to help him read
all the words.
- It's a hard book.
- We found Miss Gwen!
- Where is she?
Let me get her number and
let's get out of here.
- Just taking her time with
"Divorced Detective MD".
- She's dating a
detective and a doctor?
Man, this day can't get worse.
- We found her in her
car chomping popcorns.
Apparently, she goes there
when she needs a kid break.
- Hmm.
- Are we gonna go to jail?
- [Devin] None of us are
licensed daycare workers.
- Someone's gonna rat on us.
Lily's been telling me how both
of her parents are lawyers.
- Don't give us that look!
- Don't look at us like that.
- I don't understand.
Why would Gwen want to
abandon these angels?
- Uh, what happened to Zona?
- It doesn't matter. We're
not getting a house baby.
- That's not up to you!
- What gives? You abandoned us.
- I'm sorry, you guys.
Tuesdays just gets really hectic
and I need some extra help.
I've tried going through
the normal avenues.
Babysitters, roombas.
- So you hired a film crew?
- I've b*rned through a
lot of backups.
So, hiring a random
contractors to stay here
while I step out for a
bit has been way easier.
- You don't even know us.
We could be total psychopaths!
- You all seem fairly
normal to me.
[Ryan snarling]
- Hi, everyone!
- I'm fine with that.
- Wait.
- Here, I'm still gonna pay you.
- Oh, no, no, no.
You do not get to buy us off.
We're going to report you.
- Here. Let me make
this easy for you.
An extra 100?
- Okay, but...
No.
- What are you doing?
- [Devin] For real?
- I could do this all day.
You see, it cost like
$100 per kid per day,
and my overhead is only
like $10 in Graham crackers.
- Okay. My conscience is
having a seizure.
- Zona, stop her.
- Okay, yeah. No, you
need to stop.
- Zona, do something!
- I'm only one woman!
- Oh, she's good.
- So, do we have a
deal?
- Thank you, Miss Gwen. We'll
get that video to you shortly.
- Oh, really, there's no need.
But if you ever need
another job, just call!
- We
will probably do that!
Bye, kids. You're the best!
- [Children] We love you, Zona!
- We love you, Zona!
[upbeat music]
- Milo, you got any reds?
- Friends, that was
our first bribe!
- Aww.
- No, no.
I think we earned it.
- Zona definitely did.
Regular old baby whisperer.
- Wait.
Can you imagine a
baby whisperer?
- [Owen] Oh my goodness,
are you kidding me?
- Yeah.
- Little baby.
"Hello, I'm a baby."
[all laughing]
- Good day, everyone. Good day.
- So, what do we buy
with $1,000?
- [Ryan] Oh.
- Hi. Can I help you?
- Yes, hello.
We were wondering if this
is where we can buy a baby?
- Oh, I think you want
adoption services.
They're in another building.
- Yeah, we recently came
into some money.
- Yes.
Enough said.
- [Ryan] Just an extra baby.
- Just one of your extras.
- You get 'em in the back?
- Maybe some ones that
you didn't sell
by the end of the day.
- Yeah, like a discount one.
- Any old baby will do.
Ooh, an old baby.
- Can you imagine an old baby?
- With a little cane.
- Ooh.
- I'll take an old baby.
- Yeah, we take an old one.
- We're going on some
kind of list, aren't we?
Have a nice day!
- Oh, like a waiting list?
Can we get one that sign dances?
[mysterious music]
- Did someone call
for a detective?
- No, we need a doctor.
- Well, you are in luck, fella.
[upbeat music]
♪ Doctor and detective ♪
♪ He's divorced, hmm ♪
- There goes my hero.
- Not mine.
♪ He fights crime ♪
♪ He fights cancer ♪
♪ And he fights for custody ♪
- He'll live.
♪ Mm, but he never gets it ♪
[upbeat music]
[sneaky music]
[upbeat music]
♪ When your marriage is over ♪
♪ And you're solving crimes ♪
♪ Committed by your patients ♪
♪ Who'd you wanna stop by? ♪
♪ He's the man ♪
♪ He's divorced detective MD ♪
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
♪ He fights crime and cancer ♪
♪ And for custody ♪
♪ He's the man ♪
♪ He's divorced detective MD ♪
02x04 - Learn, Fun, Can!
Watch/Buy Angel Studios
Five broke millennials struggle to build their video production company despite their limited resources, lack of experience, and living in a small, quirky town.
Five broke millennials struggle to build their video production company despite their limited resources, lack of experience, and living in a small, quirky town.