02x01 - Student Body President

[bunniefuu]

[♪ musical swirl ♪]

- Hi, I'm Zona Goodwin producer
at Video Production Company.

You may have heard some
nasty things about us,

like our work is subpar, we
just got evicted,

or we once made a car
wash ad so bad

the judge ruled it a
drive-by sh**ting.

Well, I say you should hire us
to make a video as beautiful

as this one, because we
definitely made it ourselves

and we didn't hire a better
company to do it for us.

[upbeat music]

So for a video

this beautiful hire Video
Production Company today.

- You didn't make that, did you?

- No, we did not.

[indie music]

- Thank you for having
me in your...

home.

- Oh, this isn't our home.
Devin and I just work.

- Oh good, I had thought-

- We live in the tent
on the lawn.

- Well at least no
one lives here.

- [Men] We live here.

- [Owen] We just moved.

- Four months ago.

- When life hands
you an eviction

find a new place to get evicted.

- Why were you evicted?

- We had more pets than we
were supposed to.

- They weren't pets. They
were employees.

- Well, at least you
have your health.

- We do not.

- Moving on, my name is
William Vanderchild.

And I'm here because I require
your production skills.

- Hurtful, what
business do you run?

- No business. I'm 17.

- 17? Don't make me laugh.

I'm kidding, please make me
laugh whenever you can.

I love it.

- If you're 17, what
are we recording?

Your bar mitzvah?

- I'm not Jewish.

- Quinceanera?

- I'm not Latino or female.

- How am I supposed
to know this?

- Stop guessing, you know
we're bad at it.

- Retirement party.

- I'm running for student
body president

and I want you to make my
campaign video.

- Oh, well, that's
gonna be a problem.

We don't get involved
in politics.

- [All] Unless it's Bernie.

- Not because of
political reasons.

We just think he's adorable.

- I just wanna squeeze him.

- I'll pay double your fee.

- Well, goodbye
principles hello money.

- And you needn't worry I'm
running unopposed.

Mine is the only side
you can take.

- You tricked me. I abandoned my
principles for nothing.

- If you're running unopposed

why make a campaign
video at all?

- Zona, he's paying us double.
Let him do as he do.

- I want the student
body to have

a very specific image
of their ruler.

- [All] Ruler?

- A complacent
population is far easier

to control than an informed one.

- Good point.

- You wanna make a video to
trick your school

into thinking you're benevolent?

- Zona!

- [William] Precisely.

- Carry on.

- There are rumors that
I'm disingenuous.

- You shed your leaves annually?

- That's deciduous.

- Oh, I'm not hearing
the difference.

- If I am to manipulate
the student body

I need those rumors quelled.

A carefully curated
propaganda film

before the election tomorrow
afternoon should do nicely.

- What?

- And if we say no?

- Don't
- Very well.

- I'll see you all on campus
tomorrow at 10 am.

I'll have you clear to be there

but try to blend in, if you can.

Au revoir!

- Oh, that kid is a sociopath.

Guys shouldn't we
talk about this?

- We need food Zona, it's
either take this job

or accept help for Mr.
Gandolfini.

- Some hearty cantaloupe for my
favorite neighbors.

- No way! You wanna talk to him?

[Mr. Gandolfini laughing]

Do you wanna eat
that cantaloupe?

- [Mr. Gandolfini]
Don't shut me.

- I still can't believe he moved
to be closer to us.

- Who are you?

- Oh, we're your new neighbors.

I guess the previous
tenants were evicted

for running some kind
monkey sweat shop.

[Mr. Gandolfini screams]

- Are you okay?

- I need to quit my job in my
house and sell my house!

My friends need me!

- We need this.

- I do miss food.

- I don't know. Pictures of food
are really good too.

Nothing

You want some?

- No, don't. Just got it
all over my pants.

[bell rings]

I haven't set foot in a
school in so long.

Being back now feels powerful.

- I know exactly what you mean.

[Owen and Micah scream]

- Girl, what is on your head?

You look like America's
next top gollum.

- I super glued all this
on to blend in.

- With who?

- Or what?

- The teens!

- Have you ever seen or been
a teenager Devin?

- Of course I have.

You know, they go through
hormonal changes.

The voice lowers, the
hairline recedes,

the fingers get longer.

- Dad? Dad, I thought I
told you never to-

Oh my gosh.

I'm sorry just thought from
the front you look,

I'm so sorry.

- I'm slightly worried now.
Who is her dad?

- All right, we figured out
what sh*ts we need.

We just need to...

We just need to wait for a
break between classes

- As director shouldn't I be
planning our sh*ts?

- That won't be necessary.

- But my self esteem.

[bell rings]

- [William] This is our man
of the people sh*t.

Get as many of those
plebeians as you can.

Always make sure I'm the focus
and we're moving.

It's so good to see you, John.

Becky, are you coming to
the pep rally?

[William laughs]

Leanne let me kiss
your flour there.

- He can't be that bad right?

He knows like every
student's name.

- He's making it up.

He said he just wants it to
look friendly without

the tedious valuing
of individuals.

- Balthazar, you rogue!

You nearly busted me on the
tennis court yesterday.

[William laughing]

I enjoy sports and
extracurricular activities.

You know what I'm talking about.

Yes.

- Look at all these strong hair
lines, are they staring

because they're jealous

that I developed sooner
than they did?

- Oh, no baby.

No. You got a depressed version
of a mullet going on.

Business for closure in the
front funeral party in the back.

[William laughing]

- Cut! That was acceptable.

The women and Ryan
will come with me

to the classroom to start
the montage scene.

You two!

Stay here and prepare buttons
with my face on them.

- Demoted to button maker? I've
become my grandfather.

- The populist loves
such trinkets.

Bread and circuses for the
masses. Come on.

- All right, let's go Devin.

- Can I just fix my extra
real estate here?

I'm trying to belong.

- Since when do you care so
much about fitting in?

- These walls have a
power over me.

I had no idea school could make
you feel this way.

- So you were pretty
confident in high school?

- Define high school.

- Okay we don't have
time for this.

Come on Devin. We'll fix your
Billy Crystal look later.

- I'm too young for
that reference.

- No, you're not.

- I'm sure I don't know
what you mean.

- Here take my camera. I'll
meet you guys there.

I just gotta get a quick drink.

Oh my. I forgot how
gross these are.

Oh, memories.

- Get to class young man.

- Huh? Oh, I'm not a student.

- I said to class now.

- Yes ma'am.

[upbeat music]

- Okay, Lord William.

Let's see if you...

He's cheating on camera.

Has he no shame?

- That's the kinda
confidence I need.

- No, that's not
confidence Devin.

Okay it is but it's bad.

- I just feel so
powerless and shiny.

I have no control
over my environs.

- The only control you need is
over yourself, not others.

- So this is what
learning feels like.

- Hey. What are you doing?

You can't expect people to
turn a blind eye

to blatant wrongdoing.

This isn't Hollywood in
the twenties.

- And still.

- Hey get a sh*t of me twirling
my pen all cool and suave.

- That is cool.

Perhaps if I completely copy
someone who's cool.

Target acquired

- Devin what is going
on with you?

Why do you care about the
approval of these teenagers?

- I have no idea.

I don't know what's up or down
in this place Zones.

I gotta get free.

- Then free your mind.

- You are really channeling

some mystic guru
energy right now.

- Right? - Yeah.

- I've been going to therapy.

You can afford therapy?

- Oh yeah.

Oh, that is some good advice.

Yeah. Okay, oh.

I definitely wasn't
supposed to hear that.

- What did they say?

- Devin I can't violate patient
therapist confidentiality.

- You are neither of
those things.

- Okay so if our goal is to
grasp the function

then who can solve for x?

Ryan. - 10,000.

[class laughs]

- Nice one Ryan.

- You rascal, the answer is six.

- Oh, I was close.

[class laughs]

[bell rings]

- Okay, just like Azona said I
gotta free my mind.

Hey cool melon. What are
you doing here?

- I am your mind Devin.

- Who put you in this cage?

- You did.

- What? But I haven't smelt an
iron since I was a toddler.

- No, Devin, the cage
is metaphorical.

- So it doesn't exist. Oh,
melon of lies!

- You can't punch your way
out of this one.

- I see.

[Devin exclaiming]

- You need the key. Cages are
unlocked by keys, come on.

- So where is it then?

No stop dimming the lights.

You know where it is, don't you?

- Eat healthy.

- No, don't make me
learn more things.

Stupid jail melon.

- It's the same thing. You're
doing the same thing.

- Are you seriously
not finished?

- They are literally


- You made three.

- Our fingers aren't
nimble enough

for this kind of thing, okay.

- Oh, so the women should do it?

- I was thinking Ryan.

- Oh so the women
shouldn't do it?

- Calm down Zona. Where
is Ryan anyway?

- He's not with you? I lost him.

Am I a terrible mother?

- Maybe he's embarrassed to
be seen with me.

I'm a breath away from looking
like Steven King's It.

- Half a breath.

- I think It is more concerned
about looking like you.

- Owen, Micah, come get a sh*t
of me being hilarious

and everyone around me being
enthralled by my humor.

The women will finish
the buttons.

- Maybe I'll be accepted if I
wear one of these buttons.

I stabbed myself.

- Hey Ryan. - Hi!

What's this?

- You've been nominated for
homecoming court.

- Really? I haven't made
that many friends.

Hey Bobby, Jane, Joel,

Marcus, Ricardo, Anya.

Hey Gregory. I just
really haven't-

Hey Calvin, cool shirt. McKayla.

[hands clapping]

Good day, sir.

Julia, Kelsey P, Kelsey D,
Kelsey H.

I haven't made that many- Megan.

- I can't believe no one is
running against that jerk.

- He probably threatened or
bought off anyone who wanted to.

Weak!

- Yeah, who would let themselves

be intimidated by a
high schooler?

- I know you didn't
intend for that

to mean anything to me,
but it did.

The cage surrounding my
brain is fear.

- Okay.

- Which means the key to unlock
it is probably chainsaws.

- Or courage.

- Zona that random idea
also meant something

to me that you didn't intend.

- That was the worst.

- You get a sh*t of his
amazing joke?

I bet it was sexist.

You notice how he never calls
Devin and me by our names.

- Yeah and that joke was

the most offensive thing
I've ever heard.

- What was it?

- I'm not gonna repeat it.

I don't wanna get
struck by lightning.

- He said-

- Owen no!

- Did you just cross yourself?

- No that was a Micah
heptagon of protection.

- I need that.

- You do.

- A joke that bad could totally
derail his campaign.

I don't even care that I put all
these buttons together.

- You got through all


You have a gift.

- Or a problem.

- It's both. Most of my
gifts are that way.

- And most of your problems?

- No.

- Unfortunate.

- Doesn't matter how
terrible he is.

He's running unopposed.

- We have to take a stand.

If we don't, I'll never be able

to look my therapist in the eye,
which I hope to do one day.

We can't let him be in
charge of this school.

What would Bernie do?

- He'd run against him without
any real chance of winning.

- Such a cutie.

- Then that's what I'll do.

- But you're not even a student,
is that even possible?

- It is possible. This seems
like a huge problem.

- Not for me. Here's my
formal application.

Thanks principal.

- She's older than I am

but I suppose whatever's best
for the students.

Especially this one, my
little buddy.

- Mission accomplished.

Now the election's
this afternoon,

but no, I'm sorry.

Where?

- I stole it from a huge baby.

- Why's there dirt all over it?

- We fought.

- Did you win?

- No, I'm not proud.

- The election's this afternoon,

but nobody here knows who I am.

- So there's a chance.

[hand smacks]

Worth it.

- So we need to go full
smear campaign.

- Bagels.

- Smear, not schmear.

We're not passing out bagels.
Assure me you understand this.

- But of course.

- Fortunately, we have
plenty of footage

of William being William.

- Had footage.

[Owen screams]

I took the liberty of
confiscating the video files.

I thought you might
turn against me.

- What tipped you off?

Here's my formal application.

Thanks principal.

- Well, that was suspicious.

Your smear campaign is over
before it even started.

- So the schmear
campaign is back on.

- The polls open in one hour and
no one knows who you are.

- Not yet, but these 5,000
buttons should fix that.

- You changed every button? How?

When?

- I never stop working Owen.

- You are everything I
don't wanna be.

[bell rings]

- Now's our chance.

Pass these buttons out to
everyone you see.

Quickly! Go!

- Owen, come back here.

- Devin! Time to face the fear.

- I can't. I don't have the
courage or the punch strength.

- Then you're not the one
living your life.

- What, is there a clone in me?

You know, we have to k*ll it,
right?

- No. The fear Devin.

You're letting fear live
your life for you.

- Oh you're right.

No one ruins my life except me
and sometimes the government.

- That's kinda the spirit

[Devin screams]

- Brain I've come for you.

- You have the key?

- I am the key.

- I'm so proud of- - Be free!

[watermelon screaming]

[Devin screaming]

- Congratulations, Devin.

I'm technically out of the cage

but thought you might
just open it.

- You're welcome.

- You have a key in your hand.

- Yeah.

- It was a simple deadbolt.

- Goodbye.

- Did you look at the sun again?

- I'm back, baby.

[fast paced rock music]

What up Fairview high?
Gimme some.

- Did she look at the sun again?

- Let me see that skate board.

Box me. Hey kids, vote for Zona,
vote for Zona!

Vote for Zona she's one
cool watermelon!

Yeah!

[people cheering]

The only thing bigger than my
confidence is my forehead.

- Well I don't know if
it's working y'all.

No one's wearing the buttons.

- What do we do? Panic?

- We're gonna lose and
not get paid.

- Hey Zona.

- Ryan's voting for Zona.

- If she's got Ryan's vote
she's got mine.

- Hey yo, Ryan's voting
for that old lady.

[upbeat music]

[people chattering]

- It's a miracle.

The lobes and the buttons.

- How did this happen?

- Hey guys.

- Ryan!

He's alive! I am a good mother.

- And they made me the mascot.

[William clapping]

- And the shoe drops
well played woman.

- I know, you know, my
name is Zona.

You're literally wearing
one of my buttons.

- When in Rome.

- Admit it I've won.

- Have you? You've created quite
a lot of work for yourself.

You'll be planning the


when you're in your 80s.

- I'm not 60.

- Your neck skin disagrees.

- You don't look at her
gross neck flaps.

Only we do that.

I don't know what I'm saying.

- Well, I certainly hope
you haven't bitten

off more than you can chew.

- Don't worry Zona. You could
chew through anything.

You're a powerful tigress.

- A voracious woodchuck.

- A cornered rat.

- Chicken.

- Thanks everyone.

That means a lot, but we
didn't get paid

which means we still don't have
food and I am hungry.

- Yeah.

- It's fresh.

[Mr. Gandolfini laughs]

- Curse that man.

- It's uncanny.

- Pretty cool.

- 5, 6, 7, 8.

We are the riots. We are nice.

We cherish everyone's
worth and effort.

Roar roar Riots!

Cheer for the riots but also
cheer for the other team.

[girls cheering]

[upbeat music]