01x04 - Love Match Supreme

[bunniefuu]

[uptempo music playing]

- We got to go, we can't be
late for this pitch!

- Okay, okay, okay, okay

[door slams]

[feet running]

- Bonjourno lovies, would you
like to join me for

a nature documentary in my
theater room tonight?

I'm grilling up some seal meat.

- Seal meat?

- sh**t Mr. Gandofini, we
are working today.

- The seal meat is quite tender.

- I like it gamey.

- Go away from here!

- I will win your friendship,
it will be won.

[awkward chuckle]

- Guys, are we sure we
want this client?

Aren't dating apps
kinda shallow?

- What did you say? Did you say
you don't want this client?

- I just-

- You have to want it Ryan

- I do want it I-

- I didn't spend 65 hours
writing the jingle for this ad

so that you could go in
there and be a

bleating coward there Ryan.

[giggling]

- What accent slipped in
at the end there?

- You spent 65 hours
writing that jingle?

- Someone had to make sure
we land clients.

- Yeah, but Zona, that jingle's
like six notes long.

It should've taken you like
eight, or nine hours max.

I don't know how
pretty sounds work.

- Neither does Zona apparently.

- What did you say!?

- Okay. Just relax all right.

- Don't tell me to relax Owen.

Why don't you relax into
a pit of spikes?

[car hitting pedestrian]

[yelling]

- Still spry as ever.

- [Ryan] Oh that, it's in
the deep tissue.

- We're gonna be late.

- I wish we'd k*lled him.

[energetic music playing]

[playful b*at playing]

- All right. Let's practice the
jingle one more time.

[groaning]

- Zona, we've done it
like 50 times.

- One more. Come on.

♪ The dating app
of your dreams, ♪

♪ Is Love Match Supreme ♪

♪ Love Match Surprise ♪

- Those aren't the words Micah!

- I just uh, made it my
own with a remix.

[laughing]

- No, you never say the right
words when we practice!

- You need to say the right name
in front of the CEO.

Don't blow this pitch
for us, okay?

- You guys are being ridiculous.

I know the words. It's
Love Match Supreme.

Love Match Supreme.

♪ Love Match Supreme ♪

♪ Love Match Surprise ♪

[gasping]

- Get out.

- Wait, seriously?

- Go! I can't look at you.

- Fine. The hallway has great
selfie lighting anyway.

[door opening and closing]

- Is he gone?

- Yes.

- I'll be honest. I
like you guys,

but I do not think you're the
right company to make my ad.

Love Match Supreme is an
extraordinary dating app.

It is blowing up in the county.

It is responsible for both of
these marriages already.

- That's a cat and a hedgehog.

- Isn't it beautiful?

- It is.

- How did they get the apps
for their phone?

- Love knows bounds. And
believe me, I know love.

This is my wife.

- She looks just like you.

- I said love knows no bounds!

- Okay.

- This is the problem.

You don't understand
matters of the heart.

You're all business.

- No, we're not Mr. Doyle.

- Especially you.

- What?

- Show me your calendar.

- Weirdly personal, I-

- 4 PM: pitch with futon world.


wedding video.

All business!



- It's my favorite
part of the day.

- Are you all this sad?

- No. Last week I gave a
woman my phone number.

Well, I gave her my phone.

- Are you talking about
that homeless woman

who stole your phone
in the park?

- Oh, there was chemistry.

- Nah, Beth's just like
that with everyone.

- Devin's last relationship
ended because her boyfriend

caught her Googling "why does my
wound smell bad?".

- That was a false alarm, okay?

The smell was just some
stew I dropped.

- Where?

- In the wound. Okay,
you got me.

- And you?

- Oh, I'm a resident ladies'
man.

Suave, confident, suave...
suave.

- Please, Owen has to order
off of the kids'

menu when he goes on dates.

- I'm not made of money.

And you know I have a
micro stomach.

[hip-hop music playing]

- [Mr. Doyle] I'll tell ya what.

Because I believe in love,
I will let you

make the Love Match Supreme ad.

If...

you can all bring dates to our

Valentine's dance
tomorrow night.

- Yes. We can do that.

- I am most worried about you.

- Really? Over the girl
with the stew wound?

Sorry, Devin.

- Me too. It did not
heal properly.

- Mr. Doyle we will not
let you down.

[door opening]

- How'd it go?

- You're all doomed.

[electronic music playing]

- We're not doomed, okay?

We all have a little
somethin somethin.

- Are you gonna put your
shirt back on?

- It's too late, I'm
enjoying the breeze.

- Micah's right. We could all
get a date by tomorrow night.

Micah, keep the shirt off. Go
reel in a date with your body.

- Oh it's already happening

- Ryan, go with him. Show
off your sweetness.

- You mean this sweetness?

- No, don't do that.

- Okay.

[footsteps fading]

- Devin, you're a born hunter.

Go trap yourself a man.

[net attachment clicking]

- Way ahead of you.

- Wait, I didn't mean-

Zona go with her. Make sure she
doesn't kidnap anyone.

- On it.

- And remember to relax and that

you can't control everything!

- Don't tell me to relax!

- And I'll play up my
natural charm.

[tone rings]

Done.

[energetic music playing]

- Three, two, one, go!

[off-key instruments playing]

- You know what? I think we
need to know how to

play these instruments in
order to attract women.

- I don't know, that guy
seems pretty into it.

- It's snowing outside. How does
he not have a jacket on?

[off-key playing continues]

- Get out of here.

[energetic music playing]

- The movie doesn't
actually start til four,

so why don't we stop back-

- Stop. Stop it.

- We need it.

- Will you go out with us?

Answer me!

- You're hurting me.

- You're weak! Will you
go out with me.

- Clearly no.

- Thanks for wasting our time.

[rock music playing]

- Dude, she was into you.

- I know, right?

[high fiving]

- Do you guys want to-

- Nope.

[high fiving]

Would you guys like to-

- Zona, no!

- That was a close one.

[high fiving]

- Hey guys do you wanna-

Dang it! They're mannequins.
This always happens to me.

[mannequins high fiving]

- What are we doing wrong!?

Stop rubbing it in!

[rock music playing]

- [Owen] But eventually we
found the ashes.

Turns out it wasn't
even my grandpa.

[laughing]

- Oh my god.

- We have so much in common.

- Yeah, it's crazy.

- Would you want to go
out sometime?

- I'm good.

- Dang it.

Can I get a box for this?
I'm full.

[upbeat electronic
music playing]

- More cantaloupe?

[door opening]

- Woof. Finding love is a
lot of cardio.

- Are you eating that salad
with your hands?

- What? The hand is the
fork of the arm.

- This might be why
you're alone.

- I'm alone? I'm alone? Oh I see
what you're saying.

- See what I'm saying?

- Yeah.

- Guys, we'll never go
on cute dates

like that cat and hedgehog.

- You saw them in real life?

Were they happy? They
seem so happy.

- It'll never last.

- No, Mr. Doyle's right. Okay?
We're all doomed.

We might as well get our coffins
for one right now.

- All coffins are for one.

- What? I buried my
gerbils wrong.

[door opening]

- Or are we?

[saxophone playing]

- What?

- Micah said we're all doomed
and I said, "or are we?".

[saxophone continues playing]

- That was like 20 seconds ago.

And then a bunch of other
stuff was said.

- Really? I didn't hear it.
I was too excited.

- You want me to say it again?

- I would prefer that, yeah.

- I got you.

We're all doomed.

- Owen, that was it man.

- [Owen] I missed it?

- What is wrong with you?

- It's a thick door.

Anyway, the point is, I'm
going out with this

gorgeous woman tomorrow night.

[ooing]

- What? How?

- Love Match Supreme.

- She's like the most beautiful
woman I've ever seen.

And I've met Marilyn Manson.

- That- Well, it really works.

♪ The dating app of
your dreams, ♪

♪ Is Love Match Supreme ♪

♪ Love Match Surprise ♪

- Supreme!

- How did we not think of
using the very app

that brought us all here
in the first place?

- Boys?

- Yeah?

- We've got dating
profiles to make.

[electronic music playing]

- [Zona] Stop rubbing it in!