01x01 - Video Production Company

[bunniefuu]

- Hi, I'm Arizona Goodwin,

producer, dreamer,
confident woman.

If you're watching this,

then you must need a video for
your business company

or for your personal affairs.

Well, let me ask you this;

Would you rather have a video
made by some old so-and-sos

or by the video production
company of the future?

[bright upbeat music]

- Okay, you do realize
you're at Tesla, right?

- Yes, ma'am.

And I can assure you, we are
ready for the big time.

- How did you get this meeting?

- We came in with
your Uber Eats.

- Clam chowder, it's very cold.

- And out of curiosity, what
exactly did I just watch?

- Our pitch video.

- That video didn't even have
the name of your company.

- Yeah, it did.

- Yeah, it's Video
Production Company.

- Video Production Company.

- Your video production company

is called Video
Production Company?

- I don't like your tone.

What do you call that?

It's just a stapler, it doesn't
need a fancy name.

- This is a computer mouse.
Aren't you an editor?

- This is about the theme,
isn't it?

We shouldn't have done Owen's
stupid futuristic theme.

- Yeah, I wanted to do pandas.

- Pandas isn't a theme, Ryan.

- I'm not sure a theme of any
kind was the best idea.

- Hmm, point taken,
classless swine!

- Owen.

- Wow.

- Shush!

- So, what's it going to be?

Would you like to hire us for
your next ad or not?

- No. I thought that would
have been clear.

- Well, jokes on you,

very few things are clear to us.

- No, do not high five.

Do not high-five!

Please, all cards on the table,

Video Production Company is not
necessarily flourishing.

- That tracks.

- We could really use
Tesla's business.

Why don't we help
each other out?

- Tesla very much does not
need your help.

Please don't touch me.

- Everyone needs help sometimes.

Here, let me play you
the video again.

- Security!

[bright upbeat music]

- Devin, you ready?

- I'm awake. I'm awake.

I just need to grab
some breakfast.

- Are you wearing that
to the sh**t?

- You like? The top and
bottom match.

- You look like fat Scott Calvin
from the Santa Claus.

- That's what I was going for.

A full balanced breakfast.

- Devin.

- Let's move sugar cube!

- Hello, Arizona.

- Who's this suit?

- It's okay, Devin.

It's just Joan from my days
at Krispy Kreme.

- We wanted to know if you've
considered our offer.

Did you see the gift
basket we left you?

- I was too busy
setting it on fire.

- So you did see it.

- I closed my eyes.

- You were handling fire with
your eyes closed?

- What do you want, Joan?

- We want you back.

You were Krispy Kreme's
best sign dancer.

- [Arizona] I told
you when I left,

my sign twirling days are over.

- But you have a gift, Zona.

Something about the way you move
makes people want donuts.

- Well, too bad.

I'm running a video
production company now.

- Oh, that's right.

Didn't you make a commercial for
that janitor school?

A commercial that sucked.

- I am pursuing my dreams with
my friends, Joan,

a word Krispy Kreme doesn't
have on the menu.

- Zona, you're so
blueberry old fashioned.

Why have friends when you can
have donuts filled with cash?

- I'm listening.

- You're wasting your time,
Joan.

Come on, Devin. We have a
dream to catch.

- I'll be around, Zona. Keep
your eyes glazed.

- That doesn't make sense.

She's wrong, our company is
gonna change the world.

- Yeah.

- Because here at
Sales Solutions,

we take office safety
very seriously.

Remember, there are dangers
lurking around every corner.

- Oh pandas, you've
done it again.

- A pen, it's essentially an
unsharp Kn*fe that writes.

- Wet milk bread.

- I'm good.

- More for me.

- Even a piece of
paper can cut you.

Oh, those can be very pointy,
indeed.

- Wow, he is very paranoid.

- This is honestly the most
boring job we've ever done

including that office safety
demonstration we filmed.

- That's what we're
doing right now.

- We're still doing it?

- s*ab, cut or-

- I'm just surprised Micah
hasn't wondered off yet.

He hates being bored more than
he hates pigeons.

[pigeons cooing]

[indistinct chatter]

[all screaming]

- My recommended office
pace is this.

- Wait, Micah's asleep.

- If you feel like you're in
danger, you are.

If you feel like you're not
in danger, you are.

If you feel like someone else is
in danger, you soon will be

Never open a drawer too quickly,

there may be dust in
that drawer.

[printer clatters]

[Micah yells]

[man screaming]

- What!

- Who do we call?

- Office safety is so important.

[upbeat music]

- I maimed a man.

- Why were you asleep?

- Ask Ryan.

- I woke up at 4:00 AM and
couldn't fall back to sleep.

- Yeah, so he decided to do
all the loudest stuff

known to man.

- Well, these rock
hard plantains

aren't going to eat themselves.

[plantains crunching]

Time to fold this solid
tissue paper.

[tissue paper rustling]

Now that they're folded,
time to unfold them.

[Micah groans]

Oh man, is there a hole in my
Moroccan blanket?

[Micah yells]

- Was the verbal
commentary necessary?

- This is so bad.

- Don't worry, Zona, things
always go wrong for us.

Then somehow people keep
paying us, not enough.

I don't have enough money for
my heart medication,

but I do have hope, except when
I'm afraid, which is always,

so I never have hope.

Why would I? Things are bad.

It is a hopeless nether
scape out there,

and we but wary travelers.

And here's the thing, it's okay.
Because we all die one day.

- Was that a pep-talk?

- You have a heart condition?

- I wouldn't know, I haven't
been to a doctor in years.

- Okay, we should definitely
talk about that,

but Owen and I need to go in
there and smooth this over.

- All right.

- Sir, we are so sorry.

- I would prefer to
be left alone

to moan the chunk of my flesh
that is now gone forever.

- We just wanted to say sorry.

- You're the producer?

- Yes.

- And you're the 'director'?

- Yes, but mean.

- Clearly we expect you to
deliver the office safety video

by the end of the week,
free of charge.

- Of course.

- Good, then you can give your
insurance information

to the secretary on
your way out.

- Insurance?

Uh, Mr...

- Really?

- I'm so sorry, Mr. Butts.

- Butts. Frank Butts.

- Frank.

- I prefer, Mr. Butts.

[Devin chuckles]

[dramatic music]

- Mr. Butts, we are an

independent video
production company.

We don't exactly have insurance.

- Wait, Ryan, doesn't your
mom sell insurance?

- [Ryan] It's my grandma,
and she does not.

- Dang it.

- Then I guess you'll be
paying the medical bill

out of your own pockets, $4000.

- Four large?

- Whatever sized bills you want,

adding up to $4,000.

- But, but...

- It's Butts!

I'll expect a check
from your company

by the end of this work day,

or I'll sue you, a lot.

[upbeat music]

- How are we gonna find
$4,000 in six hours?

We're broke poor.

- You don't have to say both,
they mean the same thing.

- We have to peddle our wares,
who has wares?

- Owen, you know we
don't have wares.

We live in a ramshackle
shanty house.

- Shanty house/office.

- If you're in need of funds,

why not check the couch cushion?

- Mr Gandolfini, what did we
tell you about lurking?

- How did you know that we
have $400 in here?

[Gandolfini laughs]

- No, no, no, don't just laugh.

Ugh, why can't you guys have
normal neighbors?

- Hey, he's actually
pretty harmless.

He just wants to be our friend

to an extremely
uncomfortable degree.

- Oh, we're not friends?

- Get out of here, you old crow!
Go!

- All right, we've got
$400 out of $4000.

♪ Oh, we're halfway there ♪

♪ Oh, math is not my
strong suit ♪

- Here's another $500. What
the actual hell?

- That's me, sometimes I
keep our money

in the couch cushions 'cause
it's the safest place.

- It's literally not.

- I don't trust the banker man,
Owen.

- Okay, we just need
$3,100 more.

Everyone meet at Sales Solutions

with all the money you
can scavenge.

[indistinct]

[upbeat music]

Look for anything we can
sell for money.

- Things seem to be going well
for you, Arizona.

- Joan, I should've known
I'd see you here,

because you're trash.

- I spoke with Krispy corporate,

they're willing to
sweeten the deal.

We'll give you $50,000 a year.

- What?

- Fine, $60,000.

- What?

- $70,000?

- Keep saying what.

- And I can give you the
Krispy gold card,

unlimited donuts and
liposuction for life.

- No consequences.
- No consequences.

- I do-not recommend
you turn it down.

Don't you miss the crowds
chanting your name?

- I was great. I
played stadiums.

- And now you're digging through
a dumpster for food.

- Hey, our food dumpster is
three blocks down, lady.

Get your dumpsters straight.

We're digging in this
one for money,

because we stabbed a guy.

- Think about it, Zona.

You have until the
end of the day.

[chair rattling]

Enjoy the dumpster!

We're going back.

Go that way then,
that way's fine.

- What does she know?

You see what she's wearing?

- Yeah, it's pretty cool.

- Yeah.

[upbeat music]

- Okay, I found $200 more
in my pillowcase.

- A pretty girl paid me to be
in a medical study.

- What did she have you do?

- Check it out.

- Oh, I can feel the heat
from over here.

- I'm very allergic to whatever
she did to me. Where's Ryan?

- He said he had an idea

and ran to his grandma's
retirement home.

- Okay ladies, who
wants a foot rub?

- I made $300.

- [Owen] Good glory.

- Ryan, your hands!

- They're cool, right? I've
rubbed the fingerprints off.

- Now you're a man of mystery.

[Ryan screams]

- What's our total?

- $1600.

- Huh, strange that number

doesn't sound
anything like $4000.

- How about another $400.

- What? How?

- Devin and I donated plasma,
eight times each.

- They let you do that?

- We were in disguise.

[upbeat music]

- I don't care how sweaty you
are. It's still not enough.

- Where's Devin?

- Devin's not here? Maybe
she never was.

You made her up Zona.

Yeah, you did.

- She should sit down.

- We still need $2000. I don't
think we're gonna make it.

- I've come to save the day.

- Devin!

- Zona, I sold our
apartment lease

and all of our furniture to
a man in a van.

- What? Where are we gonna live?

- Van man traded me for this.

- Please tell me there's a two
bedroomed house in that bag.

- Better, it's an old tent
with a dark past.

Take that, Butts!

- Wait, van man
traded you for it,

so you didn't get any
money at all?

- Oh well, plasma is a lot more
important to brain function

than I realized.

[Micah groans]
- [Arizona] Devin!

- This is over.

You enjoy your little company

before I sue it to smithereens!

Smithereens!

- Hey man, you better
chill out with that.

He spit on me.

- Good.

- No Butts, we've got 37 minutes
left in the workday.

We're gonna get that money.

Who wants to buy my pants?

They're 12 years old,
minimal holes, $2,000.

No one wanted to buy my pants.

- I'll buy your pants,
except not.

But I will buy you.

- I'm not for sale. Who are you?

How much money? Sold!

- I was talking to Arizona.

- Joan, how do you always
know where I am?

- Your tweets are
extremely specific.

- Zona, you know her?

- Come back, Arizona.
Dance for Krispy.

- Um, who and what now?

- Yeah, I'm lost too.

- Your girl Zona here was a
world-class sign dancer,

you donut holes.

- Stop it, Joan. I've
made my choice.

- Have you?

Because it seems like you're in
need of some cash.

If you sign this contract right
now, I will give you $2,000.

- That's four times the
amount we need.

- No math, Ryan.

- Okay.

- Zona, are you leaving Video
Production Company?

- Of course, Krispy Kreme is
going to take all of her time.



- These are just getting
painful, Joan.

- I'm contractually
obligated to slip donuts

into my vernacular, maple bar.

- We can't do anything
without Zona?

- Yeah, last week I got my belt
loop hooked on a coat rack

and she got me down.

- She's our producer.

- Yeah, my visionary
directing would be nothing

without her
grunt moose work.

- Do it, Arizona.

You can either be mediocre with
all of your friends

or achieve true greatness.

[people cheering]

- [Announcer] Give it
up for Arizona,

the first sign dancer to dance
for the Queen of England!

- [Queen] Good job, Arizona,

I'm very proud of you.

- Okay, I'll do it.

- No!

- Sorry guys, it's the only way.

- No Zona, you've lost
all your fluids.

Don't do this. You're not
thinking straight.

- I don't need fluids to make
life altering decisions.

- That's my donut shaped star.

I'll have the company,
Rainbow Sprinkle Mobile,

pick you up in an hour.

- Here's $4000, Butts.

- Grand Butts.

- Your payment in full.

- Man, I was looking forward to
suing you guys, pity.

- You spit on me.

- I apologize.

- Get out!
- It wasn't on purpose.

- Why are you worried about
spit right now?

We just lost Zona.

- Our company is dead, man.

- Guys, I...

- Enjoy fame, Zona.

When you meet Daniel Radcliffe,

tell him that we're all
attracted to him.

- [Devin] And we don't
understand it.

- Not so fast!

Zona, you son of a bear claw.

You didn't use your real name.

You signed it,
MacGuffin Lamp Kennedy.

- That's right, because I won't
turn my back on my friends,

especially for a corporation
with a giant hole in the middle

where the soul's supposed to be.

[all cheering]
- Yeah!

- Video Production
Company lives.

- All of us saw you sign this,

I can still argue that it's
legally binding.

- Oh really?

- No!

- Why was that delicious?

- We deep fry our stationery.

- Oh my.

- It's over, Joan. Goodbye.

- No, nobody messes with
Krispy corporate.

I'll make you pay.

I'll make you pay!

- You are $5 short.

[dramatic music]

[man screams]

You owe me $4,000 or
I'll sue you.

- You wouldn't dare take
on Krispy Kreme,

we have so many lawyers you
wouldn't even get it.

- Did you mean to sign
the wrong name?

- No, I think I have
brain damage.

- Yeah, I think I dirk tip.

- You can't do that to people!

- Yes, I can!

- No, you can't.

- We'll eat you up as a
strawberry cream fill.

- I hate strawberry cream.

- If you hate them you
have to eat them.

I'm gonna make you eat them.

[upbeat music]

- Thanks for letting us live in
your yard, you guys.

- Of course.

- Are you gonna help
Zona move in?

- I will, I'm just sitting now,

so I'll help once I'm
done with that.

- I do not understand it,

but it does make me want donuts.

- I have eaten 12 of these.

- That cooler is full of soda,
how?

- She's a witch.

[bright upbeat music]

♪ Live it up in the
summer time ♪

♪ Live it up in the
summer time ♪