Hi, there.
Welcome to the show,
still coming to you
from this blank void.
Before you ask, yes.
We have made some changes.
The desk is glass now, and that's it.
That's the full extent of the upgrades.
It's been a busy week, from baseball
returning in front of cardboard fans
to Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez shredding
Ted Yoho on the floor of the House,
to Trump bragging about passing
a basic cognitive test.
Which I will say, in terms of brags,
is at least better than
"I've met Ghislaine Maxwell multiple
times and I wish her well."
Let's start tonight with what's
been happening in Portland,
the Nature Valley granola bar
of U.S. cities
in that it's crunchy, messy, and,
let's be honest, nobody's first choice.
The news this week
has been dominated
by shocking images
from Portland like these.
The U.S. attorney in Oregon wants
an investigation in Portland
after videos surfaced showing
unidentified camouflaged agents
arresting protesters and putting
them into unmarked cars.
And this disturbing video shows
the agents beating a Navy veteran
with batons and then dousing him
with pepper spray
when he says that he was trying
to engage them in a civil conversation.
That is intense. And it frankly says
so much about this country right now
that CNN will show federal agents
treat a human being like a pinata,
yet censor that same man
for rightfully telling those agents
to f*ck the f*ck off.
We're witnessing the rapid decline
of American civil liberties,
let's try not to be
f*cking prudes about it.
The protests in Portland have been
going on daily for nearly two months,
since the k*lling of George Floyd,
but the deployment of federal agents
was a sharp escalation
of questionable legality.
And yet,
to hear the president tell it,
he had no choice
and it was a terrific idea.
We're doing a great job in Portland.
Portland was very rough
and they called us in and we did
a good job, to put it mildly.
Many people in jail right now.
First: it's never good when Trump
says he's doing a "great job",
given that he thinks his administration
is doing a "great job"
dealing with coronavirus,
and he once proclaimed Ben Affleck
would do a "great job" as Batman.
Clearly, this man has no sense of
what a great job actually looks like.
And for the record, those agents
were very much not called in.
Oregon's governor announced
she didn't want them there
and "the federal government should
remove them from our streets"
and Portland's mayor, Ted Wheeler,
said pretty much the same.
What they're doing is they are
sharply escalating the situation.
They're not wanted here.
We haven't asked them here.
In fact, we want them to leave.
Yeah, masked individuals throwing
people into an unmarked van
is never a good idea if you want
to de-escalate a situation.
It's not even a good idea
for a surprise bachelorette party.
Ya got me ! I thought I was being
kidnapped there for a second.
My life flashed before my eyes
and I think I may have shit myself,
but you girls are the best,
bring on the strippers !
And the reason federal agents
were not called in
might be that things weren't
especially dire in Portland.
Protests have been
mostly peaceful there.
Which is not to say that there haven't
been isolated, chaotic incidents.
Those situations have not
been helped by the fact
that the local police force, under
the leadership of Ted Wheeler,
have routinely overreacted,
using things like tear gas
to the point where Wheeler
became known as "Tear Gas Teddy".
Which, I guarantee you,
is set to be this Christmas's
worst-selling toy.
They have justified dangerous
crowd-control tactics
by releasing photos like this,
claiming they'd been att*cked
with, among other things,
a can of White Claw
and a half-eaten apple, which is less
a threatening display of weaponry
and more of a summoning circle
for ghosts who died at Burning Man.
And for all the talk by Trump
and administration officials
of the need to restore order
in Portland,
those on the ground will tell you it's
not entirely what's being portrayed.
We've noticed that the volume
that is being described by DHS
and including administration officials
doesn't seem to square
with what's going on here.
You do have rioters,
you do have people that are
trying to deface this building
but it's not as though
this is overwhelming chaos.
We're talking about one city block
that's the epicenter here.
Exactly. It's about one block
that was actually starting to see
fewer confrontations
between protestors and police
before federal agents moved in.
Or, if you watch Fox News,
it's the end of America as we know it.
For more than six weeks now,
Portland has been under siege
by radical leftist mobs
who are intent on destroying
everything America stands for.
Portland has now experienced
We are watching a w*r
on the streets of Portland.
Three federal courthouses have now
been damaged on multiple occasions.
The Hatfield Courthouse
was firebombed.
The U.S. Custom House was vandalized.
Police were att*cked with lasers.
Several officers now assaulted
with sledgehammers.
Stores were broken into, buildings
were set on fire. This is insane.
Yeah, it is insane.
Because that tone does not honestly
reflect the conditions on the ground.
That firebombing, for instance,
seems to be a reference
to either a firework
or a small fire that was set,
which is significantly less dramatic
than he is trying to make it sound.
That rolling list next to Hannity's
head is mostly graffiti.
In fact, "graffiti" is listed 12 times
in a row there under the headline
"v*olence in Portland",
which is a huge overstatement.
And at that point, it would
have been just as accurate
if that heading had said
"Cannibalism in Portland"
or "Texas Chainsaw Massacres
in Portland" or "9/11s in Portland".
The troubling thing here
is Portland seems to be being used
as a staging ground by the president to
put on an authoritarian show of force.
And this could end very badly,
especially as he's now apparently
threatened to use federal force
in other cities as well,
which is absolutely outrageous.
And if you, like Trump, think
that it is fine to use federal troops
as a prop to crush the constitutional
right to assemble, then,
like a great American, I would like
to offer you a basic cognitive test,
which is: how many fingers
am I holding up ?
And now this.
Martha Stewart Loosens Up
During The Lockdown.
I have three people staying with me
during this time.
I've basically locked them
in my house.
And the card games get really
lively after dinner number 53 tonight.
I forgot to get vanilla,
so I'm gonna use my favorite
other flavoring, which is brandy.
Tequila blanco.
And then, frozen vodka.
Just enough to give you
a little buzz.
I just keep a saucer of salt handy
whenever I want to have a margarita
or a Martha-rita.
I'm using my favorite rolling pin,
which I got in Paris on my honeymoon.
Only good thing about
my honeymoon was this rolling pin.
Wine, gin, wine, gin,
gin, gin, gin, gin.
And the rest of the beer,
guess what ?
Moving on. Our main story
tonight concerns eyelashes,
among other things, the reasons
that camels are so sexy.
Without those luscious lashes,
they'd just be lumpy horses
with furry back boobs.
But then you see those eyes
and you remember:
"Yeah. I'd totally f*ck a camel."
And by the way, I'm serious.
We're gonna talk about eyelashes.
It's the summer, there's a pandemic
raging, and frankly,
we've all earned a deep dive on how
best to make your eyelashes pop.
There's a TikTok makeup tutorial
that I'd like you to take a look at.
Hi guys, I'm gonna teach you
guys how to get long lashes.
So, you need to do is grab your lash
curler, curl your lashes.
Then you're gonna put them down
and use your phone to search up
what's happening in China, how
they're getting concentration camps,
throwing innocent Muslims in there,
separating their families.
Hold on !
That took quite a turn there.
She went from promising longer lashes
to discussing concentration camps
in just 12 seconds
and that's genuinely impressive.
I'm a bit of an expert at taking
something fun and quickly ruining it,
so this is game
recognizing game here.
But she is right,
a lash curler is a vital tool
in anyone's beauty arsenal
and there's an ethnic group in China
being systematically surveilled
and imprisoned in an attempt
to wipe their culture off the map.
And you know what ?
Let's hold the eyelash story
for another week and instead,
let's talk about this.
Because the people
in question are the Uighurs.
They're a mostly Muslim ethnic minority
in a region of China called Xinjiang
and the Chinese government has
been treating them absolutely terribly.
A U.N. panel says the region resembles
a massive internment camp,
where more than
one million Muslim minorities
have been rounded up, detained
and forcibly indoctrinated
by the Chinese regime.
Witness accounts, satellite imagery
and Communist Party documents
reveal what appears to be the largest
imprisonment of people
on the basis of religion
since the Holocaust.
Saying anything is the largest
"since the Holocaust"
automatically makes whatever
you've just said worse.
The largest collection of shoes ?
Fun !
The largest collection of shoes
since the Holocaust ?
All of a sudden, really not fun.
And if this is the first time
that you're hearing
about an estimated million people
who've been held in detention camps,
mostly Uighurs, but also
Kazakhs and other ethnic minorities,
you are not alone.
And it's probably because
China has done its level best
to keep
this story from getting out.
But it may be getting harder
to ignore.
Just this week, we learned
that you may actually have
a personal connection to this
without even knowing it.
'Cause it turns out,
Uighurs are being shipped,
and not always willingly,
to work in factories across China.
Some of the products they're making
may be right in front of your face.
If you are one of the millions around
the world wearing a face mask
because of the coronavirus pandemic,
this footage may concern you.
It shows a group of Uighurs
arriving at a textile company
that started producing masks
in response to the pandemic.
We identified Chinese companies
that use Uighur labor to produce PPE.
We tracked some of their shipments
to consumers
in the U.S. and around the world.
Yeah, it's true: the very masks
that some in this country
see as unacceptable infringements
on their personal liberty
may be getting made by people
who would love for their worst
infringement to be
"getting politely asked
to leave a f*cking Costco."
While there is nothing new about
horrific practices being hidden
deep in the supply chain
of global capitalism,
what is happening to the Uighurs
is particularly appalling.
So tonight, let's talk about them,
who they are,
what's been happening to them
and why.
Let's start with a bit of context.
in the far
northwest corner of China.
It's resource-rich
and it's strategically important.
Uighurs have always had
an uncomfortable relationship
with the authorities in Beijing,
they have their own language and
are culturally and ethnically distinct
from the rest
of China's population,
which is more
than 90 percent Han Chinese.
On top of which, there's the fact
that Uighurs are Muslim
in a country
that is aggressively secular.
So much so that a few years ago,
a Chinese reality show went to Dubai
and state TV censored all depictions
of a woman in a headscarf
in the weirdest possible way,
covering it with a cartoon helmet
and a shock of yellow hair
with a ghost in it
and covering her hijab
by obscuring her completely
with a cactus in a Santa hat,
even doing that
when she was reflected
in another person's sunglasses.
Setting aside the issue
of religious freedom for a second,
that's an amazing way to censor
someone out of a TV show.
I'm just saying, watching old episodes
of "House of Cards"
would be much less uncomfortable
if it looked like this instead.
Why'd you ask him to leave ?
Because I just wanted to look
in your eyes one more time
before we do this.
Francis, we're doing this.
See ?
That's just objectively much better !
Now you can enjoy "House of Cards"
just as much as you used to,
which was, a bit.
So, there was that baseline
difference there on top of which
some Han Chinese have held
bigoted views about the Uighurs.
Just listen to this interview
from back in 2008.
Here in Beijing, Uighurs
are dispersed across the city.
Many work
at restaurants and street stalls.
They stand out because
of their different features and dress.
Some Han Chinese are blatantly
prejudiced against them.
The people from
Xinjiang are not very good.
Robbers and thieves.
"Robbers and thieves."
That is not an acceptable way
to describe an entire ethnic group.
It's barely an acceptable way
to describe all raccoons.
Yeah, they are essentially
just kleptomaniac possums
who steal your trash
with their spooky little doll hands.
But that's not
all that they are.
All of this was exacerbated
by the Chinese government
encouraging Han people
to migrate to Xinjiang,
with them often being favored
over Uighurs for top jobs.
And these tensions and resentments
amid an overall atmosphere
of extreme discrimination
finally boiled over in 2009
with riots in the capital
that k*lled 200 people,
mostly Han Chinese.
Rather than address the complex
underlying factors behind those riots,
the Chinese government painted them
as religious terrorism,
beginning a decade-long crackdown
that's escalated steadily,
especially after China's president,
Xi Jinping, came to power,
and instituted what was called
the "Strike Hard Campaign
Against Violent Terrorism" in 2014.
And think of it
as the Patriot Act on steroids.
All of a sudden,
Uighurs started being treated
like they were all
potential t*rrorists.
Xinjiang is now one of the most
heavily policed areas in the world,
with the authorities surveilling
things that most people would find
utterly meaningless.
If you go through Uighur
neighborhoods or suburbs,
you see cameras over literally
every house entrance
so the government can see
who enters and who leaves.
How low is the bar for being
highlighted by the system ?
Are you socializing more or less
with your neighbors ?
Have you put gas
in somebody else's car ?
Are you going out the front door of
your house instead of the back door ?
That's how low the bar is.
It goes even further.
The government has a list
of "75 behavioral indications
of religious extremism",
with some as vague as "people
who store large amounts of food",
"those who smoke and drink
but quit doing so quite suddenly"
and "those who buy
or store equipment such as dumbbells"
"without obvious reasons."
Although that last one clearly
would not be an issue for me.
'Cause I got two pretty obvious reasons
for dumbbell ownership right here.
It's not called a work out if you don't
put the work in, Broseph Braun-rad.
Trust me,
they call me "The Lunch Lady"
'cause from the hours of 11 to one,
I don't stop stacking plates.
I call this one Jon and this one Taffer
because together, they lift up bars.
But look, China doesn't
just collect this information,
it feeds it into
a "predictive policing" system
that monitors for potential threats.
In one week, it flagged the names
of 24 000 people as suspicious,
to re-education camps.
When pressed on whether
any of this is strictly necessary,
Chinese officials will argue
that they are simply being proactive.
Some people,
before they commit m*rder,
already show
they are capable of it.
Should we wait for them to commit
a crime or prevent it from happening ?
Okay, that is both insane logic
and also the exact plot
of "Minority Report".
Which, if you haven't seen it,
very briefly:
the year's 2054,
Tom Cruise's John Anderton
is chief of Washington D.C.'s precrime
police department
where murders are stopped
before they happen.
Ethically, there are some questions
about the system.
Can you really be sure an individual
will commit the crimes
that the Precogs
say they'll commit ?
The Precogs, they are bald freaks
who sleep in an indoor swimming pool
and they scream whenever
they visualize a future m*rder.
I think they're all siblings
or aliens, or babies, I can't remember.
But basically, the m*rder rate
in the city is zero,
Anderton's doing well
and so the status quo remains.
One day,
the Precogs generate a prediction:
John Anderton will m*rder a man
he doesn't even know in just 36 hours.
But it couldn't be !
That's our hero, isn't it ?
So, he stages an escape,
gets an eye transplant
so he can't be detected by the city's
eye-based surveillance system,
finds out he's being framed,
then finds out that Max von Sydow,
yeah, by the way, he's in this too,
is gonna k*ll Anderton,
but decides not to.
Anderton doesn't k*ll the person
that he supposedly was going to,
disproving the very basis
of the precrime system
and proving that
people do have free choice.
So, in the end,
they shut down the program
and send the Precogs away
to live on a farm,
but not the death kind,
we assume.
Anyway, it's scary, but it's pretty
good. I'd say, three stars.
But the bigger point is:
people in Xinjiang have been arrested
and thrown in camps despite
having committed no crimes,
which is chilling.
A million Uighurs were, at one point,
being held extrajudicially,
many for acts as innocuous
as growing a beard,
fasting
or applying for a passport.
And this is a very sore subject
for the Chinese government,
which initially denied the existence
of the camps at all
before shifting to arguing they are
merely vocational training facilities.
Even the heavily-orchestrated
media tours suggest
their primary purpose
might be something else.
Authorities recently took
some diplomats and journalists
on a carefully supervised tour
of some of these facilities.
Some detainees told journalists
the camps re-educate them.
All of us found that we have
something wrong with ourselves.
And luckily, the Communist Party
and the government
offer this kind of school to us
for free.
If you're happy
and you know it say: "Yes, sir !"
If you're happy
and you know it say: "Yes, sir !"
Holy shit ! That might be
the single creepiest sing-along
I've ever heard
that doesn't involve Barney,
a dinosaur who is clearly aware
of clothing, he's wearing a hat,
and yet still actively chooses
to go bottomless around children.
You are an absolute monster.
And for all the Chinese government's
talk of "vocational training",
these camps
sure seem prison-like.
Leaked classified documents have
shown that staff at these facilities
were told to prevent students from
freely contacting the outside world
and that they should
"strictly manage and control student
activities to prevent escapes."
And the phrase "prevent escapes"
is something of a tell there.
If your employee handbook
says "prevent escape",
you're probably
working at a prison,
or at the very least,
a scientology picnic.
We're just here to grill some dogs,
play some tunes,
and if anyone asks where Shelly is,
do not let them escape.
If that weren't enough to make it clear
what these camps really are,
listen to one former detainee
describe what she went through.
Each woman gets two minutes
to go to the toilet.
They tell you to be "quick".
If you're not quick enough,
they shock you with an electric baton
on the back of your head.
It really hurt.
And they did it a lot.
Even after being shocked,
we had to say:
"Thank you, teacher.
We will not be late next time."
That is clearly
absolutely appalling.
I didn't think people had
to publicly thank abusers any more
now that Harvey Weinstein
doesn't go to award shows.
I'm not even getting into the reports
of forced abortions and sterilizations
of Uighur women,
which are absolutely horrific.
China will argue that this is
all about economic opportunity
and attempting to assimilate
a historically ostracized minority.
But assimilation, when forced,
is cultural erasure.
In addition to using mass detention
to keep families apart,
there are also rules that seem
to be trying to break the chain
by which families hand down
a culture and faith across generations,
from laws preventing
kids from going to mosques,
to a ban on baby names that
are considered too Islamic,
to the creation of state-run boarding
schools for Uighur children.
Other moves by China have been
even more on-the-nose,
like the destruction
of Uighur cemeteries.
The government turned
an enormous graveyard
where a prominent Uighur poet
was buried
into something called
"Happiness Park",
complete with fake pandas,
children's rides and a manmade lake.
I'm not saying that this
is the most important thing,
but this is one
of the pandas in question.
Frankly, I have never had
more questions.
Why is he holding a lollipop ?
Why does he have
the posture of a startled gopher ?
Why does he have an expression
that screams:
"I just had a lobotomy,
but it turns out,"
"I'm both happy about it
and surprisingly horny" ?
Frustratingly, we may
never know the answers.
As criticism of China's camps has
intensified in recent years,
the government seems
to be closing some of them.
Unfortunately though, they seem
to have shifted to staging sham trials
and transferring many Uighurs
to prisons
that aren't even pretending
to be training centers anymore.
China's also created a system of mass
labor transfers that sends Uighurs
and other ethnic minorities
into factory and service jobs,
sometimes hundreds or thousands
of miles from home.
That is how those masks
that we mentioned are getting made.
Chinese state media
presents this as a positive,
showing Uighur workers
arriving at a train station,
then being taken on a bus
to their new accommodations,
all with upbeat narration like this.
Up to now, Xinjiang has organized
transfers for around 178 000 workers,
providing them a stable employment
rate of over 92 percent.
You can't celebrate a stable workforce
when it is forced labor
anymore than you give me credit
for spending a lot of time with
my kids over the past few months.
Believe me, if I had any other choice,
I wouldn't be.
As you've probably guessed, this
isn't just a benevolent jobs program.
The idea, as one local government
report put it,
is that sending Uighurs
far from home will allow
for "distancing them from religiously
extreme views and educating them."
A lot of people
have been distanced.
One Australian think t*nk that
investigated forced labor estimated
that, conservatively,
over just a two-year period,
more than 80 000 Uyghurs
were transferred out of Xinjiang
to work in factories across China.
They also found over 80 companies
directly or indirectly benefiting
from Uighur labor
in their supply chains,
some of them big international
brands like Nike.
When "The Washington Post" visited
the factory of one of Nike's suppliers,
it found Uighur workers were
forced to attend patriotic education
and Mandarin classes, and live in
dormitories under constant supervision,
with one worker saying:
"We can walk around, but we can't
go back to Xinjiang on our own."
Nike has claimed that this factory
no longer employs Uighur workers
and they told us that they "take any
reports about forced labor seriously"
and they're "conducting ongoing
diligence with our suppliers in China."
Which, given what "The Post" found,
feels like their policy on oversight
is less "Just Do It" than
"Just Talk About Doing It and Hope
People Eventually Stop Asking."
It's not just Nike. Another company
on the list is Volkswagen,
which told us they found no indications
of forced labor in their supply chain,
though, it is worth noting that last
year, their CEO was challenged
about whether China's treatment
of the Uighurs gave him pause
and this was his response.
We are absolutely proud to also
create workplaces in that region,
which we think is very useful.
But Xinxiang is something you're
not proud to be associated with
in terms of what the government
is doing to Uighur people...
- I can't judge that, sorry.
- Can't judge it ? But you know ?
I don't know
what you're referring to.
You don't know about
China's re-education camps
for a million Uighur people,
it has referred to as re-education
camps as part
of its counter-terror threat
in the west of this country.
- You don't know about that ?
- I'm not aware of that.
Finding out that Volkswagen
is overlooking a human rights crisis
is kind of a lot like finding out your
grandparents are still having sex.
It's completely horrifying, but
it really shouldn't be too shocking.
After all, they've been
doing it since World w*r II.
I can understand why companies
and others might want to turn away
from what's going on in Xinjiang,
because it's harrowing.
Remember that woman
who got electric shocks
for taking
too long in the bathroom ?
She was in two different camps,
then was transferred
into forced labor at a glove factory,
all while separated from her family
for two years.
While they were eventually reunited,
they are understandably
still haunted to this day.
For two years
you didn't see your mom ?
I missed my Mommy.
Don't cry, Mommy.
Please don't cry.
Don't cry Mommy. I told you
not to show your tears.
That is heartbreaking
and completely indefensible.
And whenever pressed on this,
the Chinese government has been
quick to use whataboutism.
They responded to U.S. criticism
by invoking atrocities
ranging from the genocide of Native
Americans to a statement that read:
"George Floyd's death shows
that US systemic racism"
"has choked ethnic minorities so hard
that they 'can't breathe.'"
Those are fair hits.
Those are fair points right there.
It's also possible for two things
to be wrong at the same time.
I know the U.S.-China relationship
is complicated, particularly right now,
and too often, it descends
into reductive, xenophobic,
us-versus-them stereotypes.
Human rights should be
completely non-negotiable.
I will say, the U.S. has taken some
small steps here,
like imposing sanctions
against top Chinese officials,
and Congress even passed
the Uighur Human Rights Policy Act.
Although Trump signed it,
he also reportedly told Xi Jinping
that he should go ahead
with building the camps
because he thought it was
exactly the right thing to do.
Which, from a foreign policy, a human
rights and a political perspective,
and even an interpersonal perspective,
is exactly the wrong thing to do.
But look: this clearly
isn't just about Trump, is it ?
Going forward, the entire global
community needs to do more.
The U.N. should have
independent investigators
looking into what China
has done in Xinjiang,
governments around the world
should be speaking out
about the treatment of Uighurs without
bending to China's economic influence
and big multinational
companies like Nike and VW
should not only be working
to clean up their supply chains,
but also actively using
their financial leverage
to pressure the Chinese
government to end these abuses.
None of that is gonna happen
unless people pay attention.
I know that raising awareness
is often a bullshit solution
that doesn't really solve a problem.
But there can be a real
benefit to awareness,
even if it is coming through
a TikTok makeup tutorial,
or let's say,
the exact opposite of one.
Because in this instance,
awareness is actually a necessary
precondition for action.
I know there is a lot
to worry about right now,
from a raging pandemic
to an ugly presidential election,
to a purple pervert who couldn't
give a f*ck about pants...
We have to make sure
that the treatment of Uighurs
is also on that list.
When you're dealing with a concerted
campaign centered on cultural erasure,
one of the most important things
we can do is continue to pay attention.
At the very least,
so that if an entire culture
is replaced
by a horny lobotomized panda,
we'll know to stand up
and f*cking say something.
And now this.
We Promise You: These People
Are Not Saying "Masturbate".
This morning, as Covid cases
mount across the country,
the mask debate is intensifying.
People are very passionate on both
sides of the great mask debate.
The partisan mask debate
is heating up.
Mask debate's growing.
The president is trying to have
us cover the mask debate.
CVS, Target, and Walgreens are
getting in on the mask debate.
The mask debate now taking
center stage at local restaurants.
It's nine minutes after 6:00, there's
new video of a raging mask debate.
The mask debate
in Georgia is getting ugly.
The great mask debate in West Virginia
might soon be coming to an end.
This mask debate is far from over.
How many mask debates
have you gotten into? Love to hear it.
The mask debate was taken
to a whole 'nother level.
Bishop David Zubik tells
Pittsburgh's Action News 4
he found himself
in the middle of a mask debate.
We'll dive deeper
into this pet store mask debate.
So, we're gonna begin with this thing
we're calling "The Great Mask Debate."
That's our show, thanks for watching.
See you next week, goodnight !
Come on, China.
Get that cactus off me, China.
We're just trying to do credits.
Please.
Why is he wearing a Santa hat ?
And a scarf ? Do cactuses
get f*cking cold ?
China, please !
07x19 - China & Uighurs
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American late-night talk and news satire television program hosted by comedian John Oliver.
American late-night talk and news satire television program hosted by comedian John Oliver.