Take the seasons...
When summer starts, you can't wait
For sun tan lotion, the charcoal, volleyball net,
But by the end of summer,
Everything's full of sand,
Mosquitoes think you're lunch,
And if you see one more wiener, you'll puke.
Or how about fashion?
Just about the time you're sick of one look,
Something really cool comes along.
Then there are things that never change...
The way school smells, the way wool socks feel--itchy,
And then, of course, there are your grandparents.
Talk about dependable-- they're always glad to see you,
They always take your side,
And they always think
You're the world's smartest, cutest kid,
And you want to know
The best thing about grandparents?
They're coming today.
♪ Na na na
♪ Na na na na na
♪ All right, all right ♪
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na na
♪ Way cool
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na
♪ All right all right ♪
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na na
♪ Way cool
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na na
♪ Just do it ♪
It's t-minus three hours before my dad's parents arrive.
It's their th wedding anniversary.
We're throwing a party, and I get to d.j.
Would count basie segue into fu schnickens?
I've got until the weekend to decide.
Besides, I've got more to do
With grandma and grandpa first.
I'm all set-- cards for gin rummy,
Marx brothers movies, board games.
They're not the most active people in the world,
Like last year's spring training in the back yard...
And how about our trip to the lake?
Talk about the one that got away.
Then, on my sixth birthday, we played hide-and-seek.
It wasn't too tough to find them.
I've outgrown some of this,
But they like it, and I like them.
Hi, sam. Did you get them?
Sure, I got them, sort of.
Sort of?
You don't sort of get pearl jam tickets.
You either get them or you don't.
You got them, right?
You know how mr. Futtstein says
We should appreciate the little things in life?
That's how pearl jam will look--little.
Row "r" in the second balcony?
I thought the music editor
Owed your dad a favor.
Well, they are free.
And it is pearl jam.
So we're on?
We're on.
Hey, what's all this stuff for?
Stuff to do with my grandparents.
I never plan to do anything with my grandpa.
He rests all the time. It's a hobby.
He eats breakfast, reads the paper, and naps.
Gets up for lunch,
Watchesperry mason, and naps,
Then it's time forpeople's court, dinner, and--
Another nap?
No, then it's pretty much bedtime.
It's not like I've scheduled bungi-jumping.
Besides, their idea of aerobics
Is shuffling the cards
Before another rummy round.
My grandpa loves to play cards, too.
We play for pretzels.
It's always, "quit eating the pot, tyke."
Tyke?
It's his dumb pet name for me.
"Put it there, tyke."
I'm permanently in his brain
As being years old.
They enjoy babying you. They're grandparents.
It's in their job description.
At christmas, he sent mr. Potato head
And told dad not to let me swallow any pieces.
Come on, you're exaggerating.
Yeah? On their last visit
We saw raffi-- eighth row center.
Hmm. Eighth row for raffi,
Second balcony for pearl jam.
What's wrong with this picture?
I can't believe you're making pot roast, mom.
It wasn't my idea.
Your grandparents eat red meat every day.
It's too bad grandma and grandpa
Haven't discovered the benefits of health foods.
We'll have to suffer pretending we like it.
Yes! Yes!
Where are they? They're late.
They're never late, but they're late.
I'm sure they're fine,
And so is the pot roast.
It's seasoned.
Let's make sure.
Marshall!
Can we just do this?
I don't want two hours of "how to make pot roast right."
Chill out.
Try telling them that.
If you're this upset over pot roast,
How will you handle their anniversary?
You're right. I know.
Whew! It just doesn't matter what I do.
They find it too radical.
When my hair was long, they wanted it short.
I majored in architecture. They wanted an accountant.
I had a rock band,
And they told me to play the cello.
Forget about politics.
They are a little strait-laced.
They are so conservative.
My kind of people.
Your kind are slimy with fins.
Hold it. There will be none of that.
While my parents are here,
We'll have peace and quiet--
Not too much stress.
They'll probably be worn out
From the trip, anyway.
[Doorbell rings]
Finally.
All right.
They're here.
Is everything o.k.?
Uh-huh.
Do I look o.k.?
Uh-huh.
[Toy squeaks]
Wart lips!
Hey, remember what I said?
Let's take it slow.
I know everybody's excited, but...
Hello!
We're here!
It's so good to see you.
Look at the baby! Give us a hug.
Get over here, slugger!
Um, where were you?
Yes. We were beginning to worry.
Don't you want to sit?
No, no. I'll tense up.
After a workout, I keep moving.
Workout?
We passed the high school.
It looks smaller.
We had to sh**t some hoops.
Hoops?
As in basketball?
They're joking.
You are joking, right?
I've still got a few moves left.
I can't believe you played basketball.
Well, not full-court.
Slowpoke here can't handle my fast break.
What's the matter?
Why is everybody so quiet?
Somebody die around here?
I'm famished.
Come on, amelia, let's wash up for dinner.
Last upstairs buys the gatorade.
You're on.
Oh, hoo!
I have just one question, dad.
What's that, sport?
What have those people
Done with our real grandparents?
I'm sorry about the pot roast mix-up.
I'd have prepared a vegetarian banquet
If I'd known you'd given up red meat.
And caffeine and sugar and white flour.
Ohh! Toxins. That's what they are.
Those things will k*ll you.
Nanna, poppa, what happened to you?
Clarissa.
No. I'd like an answer, too.
It's just that you both seem so...
Go ahead and say it.
Young?
We feel marvelous.
Sure do.
Oh!
Don't do that.
This is too weird.
You aren't the same people
Who sent my first subscription
To thewall street journal.
Dad, you didn't act like this before you retired.
What went wrong?
I'll tell you. For years, I ran my factory.
All we made was press-on pads for eyeglasses.
Boring!
So we were really
Looking forward to our golden years.
Time to play cards.
Yes, watch old movies.
Look at the birds.
Sounds great. Was it great?
He was driving me up the wall.
He couldn't sit still.
It was depressing.
It hit me last june while playing cards--
I hate gin rummy!
To tell the truth, I always hated it.
I only played it because he liked it.
That's when we decided to live a little.
And we've been on the go since.
I think that's wonderful.
I think it's awful.
I mean, awful nice.
I think it's-- you know.
I think it's-- hey.
I think I better replan my week.
Out with the old. In with the new.
It's great to get older without getting slower,
But if they keep this up,
Who knows what will happen?
Will their search for adventure
Have them scaling new heights?
Will they decide their knickknack collection
Needs more zip?
Or will they become international spies,
Foiling plots for global domination?
I thought I'd have to set their pace.
It appears they're setting the pace
For me and my whole family.
What a week!
It's been nonstop ever since my grandparents got here.
We spent monday at the water park,
Tuesday at the blues festival,
Wednesday night square-dancing,
And today it was wizmo's arcade.
We've gotten blown away, soaked, trampled, and blasted.
I never felt better!
Aside from my grandparents,
I'm the only one still standing.
Cheap watch.
I can't believe the prizes they give out.
It does nothing it's supposed to.
It's a $. Watch.
It's supposed to break.
Oh!
Oh, honey.
Uh-huh.
Am I holding the keys?
Uh-huh.
I wasn't sure.
I've lost feeling in my arm
After four hours of skee-ball.
No one can say
You're not a good sport.
What has happened to my parents?
Remember when they visited last year?
We spent the whole week
Doing that -piece jigsaw puzzle
Of a covered bridge.
Ah! Those were the days.
See you then.
So long and thanks.
So great to see the delmondos again.
Still the same fred and mimi.
They're so excited about the party saturday night.
Saturday night?
What party saturday night?
Clarissa, your grandparents' anniversary party.
I thought that was on the th.
Saturday is the th, braniac.
Uh-oh.
You have plans?
Well, I was just
Going to go see pearl jam.
Well, you can invite your friend
Pearl to the party.
Oh, yeah.
So we still have our d.j.?
You can count on me.
Any special requests?
Well, um, my favorite band is vanilla fudge.
Yuck.yuck.
How can you listen to that stuff?
Decisions, decisions.
There's so much music to choose from
To please three generations.
I won't hear pearl jam,
But sam's tickets were crummy anyway.
There will be other concerts.
Hi, sam.
Hey, clarissa, guess what.
What?
My dad came through for us.
The music editor wanted basketball tickets
Only my dad could get hold of, so...
So?
Pearl jam, fourth row, center.
We totally scored.
Fourth row? Fourth row from the stage?
Yeah. Can you believe it?
This will be totally awesome.
One totally awesome event too many.
Now what am I going to do?
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na na
O.k., I've got to choose.
They're counting on me
To d.j. My grandparents' anniversary,
But there's the best seat
And best band in the world.
What do you do with two things
You want to do at the same time?
Pearl jam tickets. Cool.
Tell me about it.
Fourth row. How often do you get seats like that?
Never.
So go.
Your grandparents will understand.
I'm obligated. I'm the d.j.
The party's success rests in my hands.
These primo tickets will rest in someone else's.
It's my grandparents' anniversary.
I'm going to the party.
Cool. Can I have your ticket?
Everyone's your friend
When they want something from you.
Hi, sam.
Hey, clarissa.
You better sit down for this.
Sam.
These are backstage passes.
I know.
To pearl jam. This saturday.
I know.
I'm going to meet pearl jam?
My gosh. What will I say?
"I love your music." That is so dorky.
I won't say anything.
They'll think I'm mysterious.
You'll blow off the party?
Dah! The party.
I can't miss this concert.
I'll just have to tell them.
How hard can that be?
It's swollen.
It's not swollen, marshall,
And it can't hurt that much.
Getyourleg whacked
By the mini-golf windmill, then talk about pain.
I hope it's better tonight.
We're roller-skating with your parents.
You won't be alone.
Ferguson and clarissa will be there.
Darn. My term paper on mollusks is due.
I'll have to miss roller-skating.
Exactly when is it due?
Well, it's due in two weeks,
But when you start skimping on gastropods,
You're asking for trouble.
Nice try, ferguson.
Mom, I'm tired. I ache.
I have a blister on my toe. Please!
Maybe we can talk them
Into a nice game of parcheesi.
What do you think?
Whatever anybody else wants to do.
Something wrong?
Oh, hi, everybody.
Hi, g*ng.
Marshall, what happened to your leg?
Oh, it's nothing.
You can say that.
You're going to make roller-skating, aren't you?
Oh, touch and go.
My little marshmallow.
Mom.
Nanna, poppa.
How's our little disc jockey?
Good. Um, about the party--
It'll be a blast.
We had lunch with the delmondos.
They're so impressed with you.
With me?
Mimi can't believe a teen-ager
Would give up saturday night
To spend time with grandparents.
It is hard to believe,
But about saturday--
We said, "clarissa is different.
She wants to be with us."
I do want to be with you.
It wouldn't be a party without you.
We better change for roller-skating.
Oh, o.k.
Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest.
♪ Na na na na na
What about norman loonrick?
You're going to give
My pearl jam tickets to norman loonrick?
He eats mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches
And enjoys doing logarithms.
Clarissa, you've eliminated everybody else.
Face it. You can't go.
If it's any consolation, I'll scream your name
When pearl jam kicks in at :.
The ticket says :.
Figure an hour and a half for the warm-up band.
The party starts at :.
The real concert starts at :.
Oh, my gosh!
What?
There's one chance I can jam with pearl jam.
Sure, you might think $. Is pricey
For a chocolate bar,
But it's for the chess team,
And we need our uniforms.
In that case, here, sonny.
And, sonny...
Yes, sir?
In my day, we at least tried
To make it believable.
Return it.
Ha ha ha! Mom.
Return it.
Mom!
Return it.
Here.
Here's one I've never heard of
And you're sure to remember--
Harvest serenade,by larry lamour and the lightfooters.
And I thought we had weird band names.
We've got the canapes,
Crackers, bologna roll-ups.
Calm down. How hard can this be?
I don't want any hitches.
Once we get going, it's full steam ahead.
Marshall, wouldn't you like to make an appearance?
I haven't finished my speech yet.
I don't know what to say
About my folks' changes.
Whatever you come up with, they'll be proud.
Just about ready with hors d'oeuvres?
Right behind you, mom.
Remember the plan. Time is of the essence.
Got it.
Let's synchronize our watches.
It's :. We've got to leave by :.
"Ladies and gentlemen, what can I say
On a night like this with parents like mine?"
What can I say?
Ready?
Ready.
Here's music to digest by-- sammy and the sophomores'
You're eating my heart out.
Indulge.
"That about wraps it up."
Good, but we'll never
Get to the concert at this rate.
Speed it up. Let's go!
"Ladies and gentlemen, what can I say
"On a night like this with parents like mine?
They--uh-- a night like..."
What did I say?
A night like this...
Come on, everybody, let's dance!
"Hey, that about wraps it up."
How are we doing?
Three minutes.
Into their coats?
And out the door.
Where's the fire?
What do you mean?
You haven't sat all night.
There's so much going on.
Come on. You've been racing around all evening
Like you had something better to do.
Better? What could be better?
Clarissa?
Not really better-- different, maybe.
I wouldn't really say better.
There's this band pearl jam,
And even though they're the greatest in the world,
We don't have to see
This concert, even though they hardly ever tour.
You mean you want to leave?
I couldn't.
I mean, I just wouldn't feel right.
Get out of here.
We understand.
You do?
You never understood when I wanted
To see vanilla fudge.
Why don't you see them tonight, too?
Yeah, yeah, mom.
Kids, go ahead.
We'll be fine without you.
Uh, dad, is it o.k.?
Well, on a night like this
With parents like mine,
What can I say?
Have fun.
You guys are the greatest.
Oh, have a good time.
Oh, uh, dad, about your speech...
Yeah.
It's a young crowd. Try to keep it snappy.
♪ Na na na na na
Good-bye, grandpa.
See you.
Oh, it was just wonderful.
Well, marshall,
Next year how about a family trip?
We'll go white-water rafting.
Dad, it's dangerous-- the rapids, hypothermia,
And you don't know where you'll sleep.
Marshall, lighten up.
When did he get so conservative?
If only he'd loosen up a little.
Well, again, happy anniversary,
And have a safe trip home.
We're not going home.
We're going salmon fishing in alaska.
Need some chocolate bars for the trip?
Ferguson.
On me.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, it was great to see you again.
O.k. Bye-bye.
Take care.
I can't believe how much they've changed.
I'll say.
And you know what?
What?
I hope the next time they visit,
They're exactly the same.
Bye. Bye.bye.
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na
♪ All right, all right
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na na
♪ Way cool
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na na
♪ Just do it