I used to love the nightlife and hang
out in a bar I used to hit the bottom
but then I hit a cup
to see me do the strike
great
[Music]
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come on wake up handicap vehicles coming
through
now this is more like it
find us a bumpy road my mochi for a
treat to Nell Fontaine according to this
map turn right
[Applause]
[Music]
geez he's not reading a map he's reading
bubble-wrap again he's right
why did you have to drag us along
Frannie for your own good maybe you'll
learn something maybe you'll grow and
become better people think you can
handle that no this is not just any
honcho guys it's got all the
cutting-edge technology designed
especially for the disabled lady
frigging dad
excuse me Franny can you slow down maybe
even just a bass stick I could be home
doing something productive fetching out
in front of the TV downloading p*rn I
could be attending the Opera yeah or the
Sammy Davis jr. concert you dig we're
gonna see Sammy we have to dig six feet
down
you mean the Sammy's oh yeah I knew that
I was just just fooling around
farewell Candyman
[Applause]
we have arrived
[Music]
I just got a great idea for a new team
park game pail and come on open your
minds step out of your pygmy sized world
and let the Sun in you might feel
differently once we get inside you know
how we feel about anything positive
Franny you fellas go in or even getting
back in the box it's much better
happening I guess we can check it out
for a few minutes
[Applause]
it's what heaven would look like if God
was a [ __ ] Oh kinds of toys for plays
are a man here I'll just dump these
losers and stir me up some t*rrorists
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oh what a selection oh I'm sure I could
find something nice here well I'll be an
old black blond man Siraj sheepdogs I
dream this day would come
[Music]
it's got its own security system
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one of these babies look at open
oh my god her other arm
not her there behind her I have to have
that chair Grizz take my wallet buy as
many tickets as I can afford
consider it drunk I mean done
[Music]
I'm whole again
hey doll want to take a right to dirty
town on that blazer Express Marquis I
need a booze stat you might want to get
another bartender up here to help you
out Mexican water but once I'm glad
you've got some experience back there if
I had a dollar for every time I heard
that sound familiar
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I don't know what I was thinking
[Music]
beer rotting fish the tangy smell of old
urine hello Grizz you drank away all the
ticket money didn't ya yep
dammit Grizz you rancid slobbering just
grew up old buddy old pal
you're welcome your m*nled little puke
if this don't make being crippled fun
nothing with did you see that I wonder
what this button does hello my name is
gal what is your name um Riley the
online tutorial system will teach you
all of my many functions this baby rocks
yeah that's a beauty shut up bull so huh
do you think she puts out it really is a
technological wonder
saranghae why did you do that I didn't
do anything
must be a glitch he's got a surround
sound a*t*matic voicemail a DVD player
grooming kit a towel warmer three-hole
punch and Wow a colostomy bag disposal
unit
sweet okay sweetie enjoy your new toy
I'm going to my biofeedback session
Freddie you're right
[Music]
[Applause]
more I try to be a good person I get my
nails done every week I'm never late for
my massage why would God punish me by
putting them next door he works in
mysterious ways
we just have to be strong I'll feel
better once the photo sh**t is over
imagine our humble 10,000 square foot
mansion on the cover of pretentious home
Digest you see that's a reward for being
a good person more importantly it's our
reward for being rich
that's my girl Riley its Frannie oh yeah
just take a message I'm kind of busy
all righty Riley Roo time for a little
cleanup ready for a shave gals shave me
oh then let's apply some lotion already
done powder too late let me wipe your
bum
nobody wipes your bum like me gal has a
gentle up-and-down technique refreshing
yet stimulating but there's gonna be and
if you flip to page seven you'll see the
total savings grocery shopping all done
doused pointing on how much money I
could save if I stopped home therapy or
started charging rent rent thanks girl
you're the best wheel chair a guy ever
had yeah yeah well thanks a lot it's my
pleasure
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Oh
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I don't know why he hasn't called those
dysfunctional clowns probably haven't
even given him the messages it's nothing
go back to sleep
fellas don't don't you think
overreacting just a little maybe
Riley's just got herself a new toy when
he gets born when you go right back to
being himself yeah lazy ignorant prick
I miss him it is kind of creepy how much
he loves that chair maybe we just need a
little faith
that he'll choose his friends over a
machine do we believe in Riley or not we
are so screwed Fontaine your friends are
here come on
well done more the first thing they see
is the exterior so we have to make the
problem impressions you won't believe
this Liz but underneath all this grass
is dirt I don't think it's been vacuumed
two years
get away that's gonna clog the vacuum
for sure faster gal let's see what you
got
gal I'm surprised at you he has a little
decency you missed those defiling the
most sacred instruments of the time
[Music]
man when are you gonna get this jukebox
fixed I think Riley's going to kick us
out of the mansion I'm sitting here
conspiring against my own boyfriend
because he likes a wheelchair more than
me Oh what if we yes do speak ah
Spaulding's playing hard-to-get again so
what's it going to be are we going to do
what we usually do or are we going to do
something
[Music]
Scouse you know how much I appreciate
everything we've done
you're the best I kind of missed the
game I wish I had some company to talk
to no offense mrs. Venables maybe we
need some time apart are you breaking up
with me you think you don't need me
anymore
no no that's not it I just like a little
space maybe see my friends you used me
Riley I don't know where your head is
but it's not going to be on my pillow
again if you don't get it out of your
ass are you listening are you going to
say something or does the wicked
wheelchair of the West do your thinking
for you now - fine any stuff you left at
my place I'm burning and I'll see you
again girlfriend why did you do that
after all I've done for you you made
promises I know what's best now let's
have cake
[Music]
[Applause]
hello Frannie it's me I need your help
Darla's gone crazy and won't let me
hello hello
don't try anything like that again I'm
not some four-wheel [ __ ] you can toss
away when you've had your fun now let's
go it's time for your pouf but I don't
have to go then I'll make an extraction
[Music]
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rooster is leaving the henhouse
the rooster is leaving the henhouse hey
don't let em see you I'll meet you at
found zero oh well zero at the henhouse
[Applause]
good riddance now let's get ready
the photographer should be here soon
make a good impression and the cover is
ours
[Music]
a magma burger side of fries smothered
in lava and an eruption Cola what I said
a magma burger side of fries smothered
in love
[Music]
oh you're here
did you see the staircase when we came
in it's Italian marble come on where are
my manners
would you like some tea I don't have a
good feeling about this magazine article
[Music]
[Music]
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don't make me look at Briley's ass he's
wearing a thong
[Music]
air or air or Aaron is everyone all
right
well I can't feel my legs but other than
that oh it's all over that wheelchair
slightly bothering us again oh all right
then who wants to be getting the job why
did you turn on me Riley sure we had our
ups and downs but I thought we had
something special maybe with some
counseling guys a little help here I say
we let that whacked-out wheelchair have
him we still get to live in the house
fellas I'm sorry I got carried away but
it wasn't my fault it was hers maybe
Blazers right no more of that I know
everything attitude okay I'm on my own
fine come on baby you want a piece of me
bring it on
impending impasse and on the seventh day
the Lord created heavy machinery and it
was good
gee thanks sister butch I don't know
what thanks to the collection plates
Sunday the Lord put me on this earth to
save godless immoral Souls and godless
immoral soul thy name is Riley repent
sinner repent no peace be with you
Riley I brought you something
[Music]
[Applause]
my ass is smiling right now thanks
everyone
you fought for me okay I admit it I was
against it but now that you're okay can
I watch you and Franny have makeup sex
here a computer chip can never replace
the human heart we human beings are what
it's all about
now what did you boys learn okay let's
go get something to eat
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