ha saying I got five of a card
Sanford are you in a nun ditty bops is
that heart and feelings you know just
get the pennies off my death Oh Todd do
something this can't be legal
they're gambling we are not playing
poker poker is gambling idiot Joe you're
not trained in conflict management I'll
handle this
I think you guys basically want the same
sitting Sanford what do you want play
folder window what do you want for them
to stop playin poker yeah yeah you'll
feel better
what how am I supposed to study you
could try the dorm study lounge or my
room lots of tea and free back rub
who turned up the heat in here it's like
a sauna this is a weeknight for God's
sakes is there nobody else in the storm
who studies what are you guys all out
three jacks a 2:10 well playing
blackjack
I need that I'm not stupid oh just my
last 50 bucks
dude I'll repay you after I win it all
back how was the last of my money for
the semester I was gonna use it to call
the psychic hotline tonight but now I
just wasted it you're out of money how
am I gonna pay for my Spring Break
that's okay we can play cards about
money what honey
I'm bored with our sex life well Queenie
I know how we can slice things up meet
my one-eyed friends yeah Oh me likey oh
you ain't seen nothing yet
Oh jack you got the number two on me and
it's red me likey listen here's how you
can score some quick cash go to the
butcher and cut back on your meal plan I
didn't got a couple hundred dollars back
really Milo that's the greatest plan I
ever heard
no that's the greatest plan I ever heard
but if you cut back your meal plan
you'll be able to eat on weekdays only
are you sure you know what you're doing
I could very easily ask you the same
question except that I completely forgot
what you just said in conclusion can we
have our free candy now all right wilds
are a two part three of Club
Jaka heart four of diamonds is 7 of
Spades I got nothing
hey Joe do I have any of those cards
edge said I have no idea I'm sorry you
probably can't see them from over there
you should throw yourself at Joe in this
hole
oh hello I am Hans Pater
they're glad to meet me I don't disturb
you Aki dirty yeah sure thanks just
working my turtlenecks in speedos
tonight
what else you got in there a pair of
clogs you want to throw in you don't
wash glad you advanced in them dude
don't want to cap the floor
where are you going what's the game
hannes major dance is the dance of
loneliness
if there's any place in this dorm that
hasn't been overrun with idiot
let's quit I've got too many kids I
don't even like these big hey Carol
how about one more game just you and me
maybe I'll even manage to take a few of
those nasty tips off your hands and out
of your mouth maybe not out of the
amount ah crap
the best I've got a dip in what should I
bet Milo that's mighty tough to b*at
Stanford I bet it all yeah you're
probably right
dad Milo's not so tough three aces oh
wait a minute three of a kind beats it
King all I had was a king and a pair of
kings and a four and a king I don't know
what's more unbelievable that hand or
that natural selection hasn't weeded you
out this stupid Triscuit I know kind of
amazing isn't it five hundred bucks
we got to make this money laughs perfect
now we got a safe to keep our money give
me the $500 we just spent it all on the
safe crap why'd that lady when we give
it ten dollars for the save
he explained that there was a four
hundred and ninety dollars taking it
back seat that's just standard huh it's
like he never bought a safe and returned
it two minutes later before
Hey
what are you doing in here look you're
going to have to find someplace else to
make your stupid sauna or clog dance or
do whatever obnoxious thing you planned
on doing because I was your first
you were not I've been staying in this
room for weeks the housing department
roomy with two lon more on it barter
come on hello cafeteria lady you look
out band got a new hair net thank you
for noticing
Oh
what's going on sorry you boys are home
the weekday plan it's Saturday look you
probably didn't go to college you don't
understand I'm hungry you can't eat for
two more days no food for two days we'll
starve to death just like those people
on the Titanic I don't want to hear your
complaints get out of here
a little one will be a week by Sunday
k*ll him with a pillow
make sure you good him before your roast
Oh
do we change our meal plan hey fellas
you're missing pancake day it first
starts off pancake day with the day they
serve pancakes it always runs oh man
pancakes for my favorite mod - good now
I know why they call them hey d*ck
good there's more than one of them oh
you got something for the road I can't
believe it
we're starving and it's gonna be
pancakes to the road why don't you just
see what we do back on the farm when my
daddy runs low on the food stamp he
bought some chickens and lived off the
eggs for a while so you make scrambled
eggs egg fried egg egg low
thank you eggs eggs eggs eggs outer egg
stuffed eggs eggs Anya and egg a Rodian
eggs my cholesterol is over 9000
that's all well and good but where are
we gonna get some chicken there isn't a
chicken tree around here for miles I
could show you where to possum but we're
out of money
all right Plan B let's do this thing
yours can't be dumber last night the two
idiots I live with tried to toast Pop
Tarts in my VCR while I was watching it
you know one time my roommates bathed
yeah no that's it since they've been
here they've only based one time you use
number 2.5 pencil they combine the bold
lines of a number two with the precision
of a number three you know max maybe we
could share this place we could work
together make it into the ultimate study
space
I'm getting chills
look at them there's such graceful
animal genetics for example if I made it
with this chicken I wonder if any of you
would tell you're a clever one aren't
you hmm
I'm gonna call you a little Dell dude
don't do that that's what I call my
penis then I'll call the chicken Dale
jr. hey he's laying an egg what is that
well I don't know but there's corn in it
sweet he lays corn to this chicken is
incredible oh my god is that a chocolate
chip come on Dale jr. lay an egg maybe
he's embarrassed I used to have a hard
time doing it when my dad was watching
he doesn't lay some eggs soon I'm gonna
choke that chicken till something white
and satisfying comes out so well
huh yeah and they even tried reasoning
with them Wow see nothing they're
not making eggs they can always make a
sandwich oh you don't have any cold cuts
no you eat the chicken we just cut off a
head what good thinking it if you cut
off my head I won't be hungry anymore
just make it quick I love him he's like
a chicken to me you could still love it
when instead you could love the way it
tastes
am i dead yet ah crap I'm in hell wait a
minute there must be a ton of
women around here and so he says we're
gonna discuss the periodic table of
elephant and this was the professor well
that's harder for you I know this school
is full of City Bob you know it doesn't
have to be that way what do you mean Joe
I'm part of an underground movement to
weed out the bad students here at barter
the Dean has instructed us to seek out
the worst offenders so that we can
ensure their prompt exile to Welding
school and they barter a better place
I've never said these words before but
I'd like to participate in your group
activity great the first step is to
collect some incriminated enough
evidence do you want because I can get a
urine sample off of any surface in our
room including the ceiling hell I'll
just bring in the fat one sheet we can't
k*ll Dale jr. now that's just the way of
the world
something doesn't contribute it has to
be eliminated now I'm gonna go take a
nap
I know they can lay eggs maybe they just
need the right move let the magic begin
big who's gonna kick the little guy have
a fight boy no you ignorant
Triscuit what I'm saying is people would
take good money this is those two
roosters go at it maybe we can make
enough money to get back on the meal
plan okay but I call mine little doubt
God's coming I finally came up with the
solution for your poker night problem on
Tuesdays you can wait 16 hour
Lawndale junior gotta get ready for
tonight's big fight jab jab
good now let's see the uppercut hmm
that's really more of the jab all right
you finished our road work maybe your
guy should start working to have you
back
quit it Sanford you're hurting Dale jr.
hey dude I see you're massaging a
chicken on my death that's cool it is
you know we don't hang out anymore
what are you guys doing this weekend
having a cockfight in the room perfect
can I RSVP right now sure we're calling
it the storm in the dorm room great
thanks cool then we'll see you there
don't touch me chicken crap this can
mean only one thing
I don't get the Mantis I'll be dead by 9
o'clock
it's not the fire I come for someone
says the Pisan tree
once it becomes a good school I might
take a photography class I think I have
a flair for this all right I want to see
a clean foot no packing below the belt
and if there's no knockout the winner
will be decided by a panel of judges
what are you talking about the winner
will be the one who's not dead okay way
to eat the loser I'm gonna have loser
pot pie why it's a small pot made with
carrots celery seeds and a heaping
helping of dead chicken sometimes
squirrel no no one's gonna k*ll my boy I
came here to see a fight I want my money
back
Alex policy is no shirt no shoes no
refund but I have on a certain shoe well
what are you complaining about think
about the man who has no shoes oh my god
directly into his chat
20 bucks on the little guy with the
weird hand you're gonna
so then our a even gets in on his
fight I think we can get him booted - I
got it all in here along with a couple
of nights still like crate there's a
one-hour photo place around the corner
so we'll be able to get these pictures
back sometime tomorrow
come on it what are you doing down here
trying to steal my pawn no sir my friend
and I were just talking there's nobody
here sure there is
right over what that god-awful spam
message your head I once threw the whole
gym floor with it
Batman I was so high I thought I was a
janitor at a crappy college but what max
was real there's a picture of us thank
you and a map we were gonna be roommates
and cleanse barter of idiots
the only thing did guys means is vomit
fear and when necessary should thing get
creamed
yeah that get you stuck with your
roommate you got I can't possibly live
with them any longer if you want you can
borrow my kids and you probably need
your new roommate
it's mean of the senior dream stop doing
that
499 500 well we have enough to get back
on the seven day a week meal plan or we
can bet this money and get on the
twelfth day a week meal plan never again
will we go hungry on Clem's days hey did
I miss the storm in the dorm room yeah
you did and
we got to get rid of our chicken well I
have to take him up your hair enjoy it
well you got a promise to give Dell jr.
a good home oh good I open another box
of wine on the next three South oh my
god ed won the Stanley Cup no I got this
from the saloon uptown I've never seen a
milking stool this tall I can think of
at least three reasons why that's not a
stool it doesn't smell
there's no worms in it and it doesn't
look comfortable enough to sit on
01x12 - Cock Tale
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Show revolves around two lifelong dim-witted friends, named Sanford and Del and their misadventures at the fictional Barder College.
Show revolves around two lifelong dim-witted friends, named Sanford and Del and their misadventures at the fictional Barder College.