01x03 - Hot Spot

[bunniefuu]

ready hey

fire whatever butterflies like went out

last year I'm sure there's only big

sizes here ah this is like a six excuse

me ma'am do you have any clothes that

would fit

me you think you could squeeze yourself

into

[Music]

this and then they're looking in the

mirror they're going oh my God I'm so

fat I'm so fat I'm so fat yeah I hate

girls like that anyway you want to stop

and grab a few of blackies I think

they're done fixing the place up um I

don't know I'm kind of low oh it's my

treat oh it must be dollar beer KN you

know okay big spender you're on and of

course the usual crowd will see there I

guess so hey cutie I about a stiff one

oh man I love Marty he is always been a

gentleman to me always

proper hey man the boys are thirsty said

hang on I'll be there in a second hey

hey Marty no lighting up till we fix the

sprinkler system one PFF and you'll set

the whole thing off a you've been saying

that for years you're never going to fix

a damn thing you know I hear old Li's is

a pretty good bar what do you say fellas

easy mate every about a free sh*t Jack

right man that is one beautiful scam

I'll tell you and he stopped smoking

years ago that's the beauty po they say

he is my

hero what the hell oh my god what have

they done to blackies I I knew they were

working on the place but I thought they

were finally you know the sprinkler

system thought they were fixing it so uh

Alex remember you hate girls like

that first day was great until I looked

up and told him I'm a vegan I don't

swallow animal

protein oh oh I can't think about you

and your skinny girls right now damn it

black he had history I mean don't they

understand that that the Dive Bar is

like it's it's an American institution

you know I mean these people probably

drink chocolate martinis and I just

wanted to chill out with the beer and

black is was right downstairs for me

yeah well say hello to your new

neighbors you still have that bottle of

tequila I gave you for Christmas yeah

last one up has to drink the

worm this club is so underground that

even I haven't been to it yet oh you're

so cool and underground Chaka hey isn't

this Alex's building oh yeah a guy with

no life living over the hottest club in

town go figure damn D that girl got some

cheeks the bigger the booty the more for

fruti oh yeah stop you're making me

all jealous it's cool whatever for me oh

yeah I wish I had a really big fat ass

like that a the bouncer looks like a

badass whatever he's probably all show

so

fruity I was thinking that out of all of

us you look the closest to 21 yeah a I I

hear that all the time and you do have

much better fake IDs than I do everyone

needs a hobby and that girl you like

just went in come on birthday boy we got

business to attend to oh man why do I

got to

attend yo I bet I meet someone tonight I

can already feel it he'll be tall but

not too tall he'll be just the right

height to kiss and to dance with and to

hug and while we're dancing he'll lean

over and he'll whisper in my ear and

tell me things he can't even tell his

girlfriend girlfriend because she can't

possibly truly understand him like I do

because we're soulmates and he'll write

a poem inspired by our deep connection

hey you in line what you think I'm doing

here waiting for the bus that's him oh

my God we have to get in sh Mecca shut

up I think you got lost on the way to

your high school dance boys now get out

of here I didn't want to be in there

anyway so what do we do now there's

always Powerhouse that place is so

Jersey they let anyone in I always get

lost because it's so big plus it's $20

and like $10 a drink I didn't bring

enough money man you're cool I got money

you're cool Matt you're my boy man but

what about them them I don't need you

I'll hit up Alex I'll be I'll be there

in a now okay cool come on mea you're

with us all right hurry up okay okay

okay

bye I don't know if they're going to let

me in with sneakers man they'll let you

in with a jock on your head and your

Jimmy in your hand

tequila go bed a few more sh*ts sailor

you won't care if it

does who hey hey hey I gave you those

keys for emergency use only this is an

emergency what did you find out Vamp is

last year's nail color I'm serious I

couldn't get into flame downstairs so I

need money to go to this expensive lame

ass place over near the river 50 bucks

would be good you're kidding okay 30 and

I'll leave I have to pay to get rid of

you works for me here's a quarter call

someone who cares fine but you're going

to pay me back and earn your keep huh

dump the trash on your way out oh yeah

right thanks for stopping by oh you

really oh my God ew thanks

[Music]

bro

[Music]

oh crap

chaka chaka what are you doing

here huh oh damn you can't just come by

whenever you feel like it what if IID

had a chick over yeah right with those

sheets that really sucks

I mean it's bad enough clubs like that

even exist but now that you're living

over one I feel sorry for you I mean you

know more so than usual yo check me am I

styling or what buy it and I'll throw in

a pair of

eyebrows she's buying stuff and she

hasn't even paid me back yet not only

that but this morning I found her

sleeping on my floor you are way too

easy on that girl I'm telling you I know

got to smack her around a little bit

teach her a lesson I mean at least I

solved one problem what's that I talked

to my boss he's going to put me on the

graveyard shift so I don't have to stay

home all night oh that's that's a good

deal something at least I won't be kept

up by that freaking club music you mean

like this like like this kind music

like get down baby let me hum you

stop please my soul

hurts Mecca guess what my brother's out

of the way from now on we've got our own

personal crash

pad

[Applause]

you my friend are very sexy all right

yes

no

maybe hey there's that girl you like

want the ass as if I would date a girl

without an ass hey man I don't know

you're not the pickiest guy in the world

hey guys check me out

hey just uh dancing is that what you

call

it oh

god oh

no yeah oh hey Mom what no I haven't

seen

her I'm sure she's

fine uh no ma no ma okay okay bye me too

[Music]

bye

what but I just finished my

shift all right all right okay fine but

I get the overtime R and you let me out

by midnight all right be there in a

[Music]

few hi I'd like to photocopy my

boobs I thought that would get your

attention we've got to talk all right

sure um but listen can I get some cash

there's this guy on the corner selling

his really fat open what you still owe

me from the other night and what the

hell have you been doing crashing up my

place don't lose it okay so I crashed at

your pad a few times a few times the

mother unit's been looking for you for

days and unless you want me to blow your

cover you better just chill okay okay

I'll be

good you're good I know hey aren't you

that girl who was dancing in the cage

the other night maybe it's all kind of a

blur you know yeah yeah I do know this

place is really banging to tonight it's

much better than one of those Powerhouse

kind of places uh-huh yeah they're

really good here about sifting out the

rejects I saw this one guy get turned

away because he was wearing a mesh

top mesh he should be banned but please

I know a place even better than this

yeah cool let's check it

out oh please like her head isn't

totally pasted on that body uh hey hey I

thought you had plans tonight yeah well

I was going to go play darts at that

smelly PB down in the village but it's

like a necrofilia technophobe club or

something I don't know I swear if I was

buic I would

barf oh I wish I could close down every

trendy night spot in this city first

stop flame snuck that out F I hate

that club as much as you do but and I

don't want to be ruining anyone's fun

it's not ruining anybody's fun Alex look

we have to stop these trendy before they

take over hey Alex I need to make some

flyers for the electro

Inferno 38th and eth hey didn't this

used to be the Blue Ribbon Diner yeah so

yeah so yeah so they made the best

mushroom burger in the city Alex the

Mindless drones are invading as we

speak

okay so we're riding home on the subway

and this guy comes up to us oh yeah and

I felt kind of sorry for him because he

hardly spoke English and he was selling

something yeah so like he we're thinking

like he's probably trying to support his

family or something he's selling like

yo-yos or toys or something cuz the bag

is totally mysteriously shaking okay so

I look inside and you're not even going

to believe this but the entire bag is

filled to the brim with with vibrators

now I'm thinking I don't care how much

you might be hurting for cash you don't

want to be buying your dildos on the

subway word that's where I buy them hey

Chaka C sleeping in the tub he passed

out right on the cake so just move them

like everyone else has been

doing sorry private party this is my

apartment yeah good one now b*at

it so what's it like you know when you

get it with a tall chick do you have to

use like a stool or straps or

something it's okay let him in he's my

brother I moved go off of the cake now

his head's in the

toil what the hell's going on it's your

house Waring party surprise chill out yo

everyone's having fun fun you know you

should thank me check out all the hot

chicks that came fun fun does big fora

look like he's having fun this is my

apartment not yours here have a beer

come on I'll introduce you to some of

these

girls sorry about the TV

man get out of my house everybody get

out go back to whatever hole you crawled

out of or

whatever I'm mean it what's the big deal

just chill out and have some fun

out this party sucks anyway come on

let's blow this place it's better

downstairs at least they got

AC you wouldn't know a good time if it

bit you on your

ass why is my head all

wet oh man where's the dirt

left Jen we're shutting down

[Music]

flame all right so we've called the fire

marshall the cops the liquor board and

no one cares Alex I could be bleeding

from a g*nsh*t wound in the middle of

the street and no one would care no

that's not true people would care that

you were blocking traffic oh thank you

you're a true friend yeah listen Alex

okay not unlike Clint Eastwood and

Firefox we have got to become the

reluctant hero now I know it sucks but

we've got no choice but to accept the

mission Clint stole a plane in that one

he was the bad guy oh I didn't see it

Goat hey man what the hell happened to

you you're all all hip why goat

why hey guys no offense but uh whatever

it takes to get inside you know what I'm

saying take her

easy this calls for drastic

action Jen this is so stupid it's almost

laughable come on desperate times call

for desperate measures now look if we

work together we can Corral the rats

into flame through the back

entrance people will be running out of

the club and drone who are you the Beast

Master look maybe this club is an our

scene but listen care

these people keep gaining ground little

by little a club here a coffee shop

there and before you know it the Earth

has become a living hell like like

Planet of the Apes except that the

monkeys will be listening to dance

remixes of the Mentos jingle and having

full parties get your stinking paws off

me you damn dirty

AP look Jen just because we're not like

hip or trendy or anything like that does

that really mean we got to like spoil

everyone else's lives do you want to

spend the rest of your life being forced

to listen to this crap do I have to sing

the Techno to you

again you're right so we're together on

this good then on to plan B what's Plan

B I don't

know hey man watch it huh hey it's Mr

party pooper I thought you hated this

place and I thought you were going to

chill and stay out of trouble I am off

just you know taking a break from

staying out of

trouble so okay check this out Alex I've

got a plan first all right first I start

throwing my own feces like a baboon

right right feces got

you Alex please just give it a rest all

right she probably like guys with you

know pierced nipples and pierced

crotches and people who've actually like

had sex she doesn't want to deal with a

virgin like you

hey I like your

style you have style yes I have style uh

[Music]

thanks M don't you just love this track

oh

yeah traitor this club is banging yeah I

live right upstairs so it's perfect for

me really I was at this party in your

building the other night it was insane

but I heard after I left some dork went

crazy and he kicked everyone out yeah

well some people can't stand to see

other people have

fun okay okay plan

C hey is that a nipple ring uh yeah it's

a new kind they make sounds

ooh hey excuse me um I just want you to

know that guy over there just called you

fat and I don't think he was spelling it

with a

pH no way that's the wrong

guy my friends were right I always pick

the losers no

no oh I could have had some of that what

the hell was that all about

[Music]

desperation sorry I was just hoping I

could start a fight which would escalate

get the club shut down I know I know

lame idea Jen it's no

use admit it we're beaten no I won't let

them

win I got

it what are you doing now watch and

learn

son someday a rain will come and wash

away all the scum

J ha that's what you get now let's just

sit back and watch everyone run out who

says I can't make the gutters do what I

want I am the Beast

Master um maybe they're so drunk it

hasn't hit them

[Music]

yet F

party oh my God the

prophecy yeah yeah yeah

yeah

instead of shutting down the club I made

it more popular hey at least you don't

have to find a new place to live and

deal with an insane

sister and the last thing I heard the

club was shut down due to underage

drinking

violations that's pretty amazing

thanks no I mean it's amazing you

thought you could get away with this

Chaka must have been crushed well she's

too busy to think about it she got

slapped in some community service thing

oh poor

[Music]

baby anyway I'm just glad flame is gone

you said it amen I couldn't take one

more minute of those Chumps with their

attitudes we won baby we

won my place for a drink make it get a

double