04x12 - Toddler Invasion

[bunniefuu]

[ music ]

- Well, it was actually invented in the s

by a guy named Kevin Sham.

- Kevin Sham? - Yeah.

And he made it by mixing honey

with cat poop.

- Ahhhhhh, that's why they call it...

- Sham--poo.

- No, I get it. It's cool. - That's why I don't use it.

- Kinda sounds like you made that up. Did you make that up?

- No, that's just true as I'm standin' here.

- Alright.

What is that?

- Looks like a gift basket...

although much larger than most gift baskets.

- Well, who do you think sent it?

- I'm not sure...

but it was definitely someone.

- So...your theory is that it was sent by someone.

- Or somebody.

- Yeah, I'm just gonna check the card.

- What's it say?

- Umm... What?!?

No way, dude check this out,

it was sent by the Dixie Chicks!

- Shut up! Really?

- I swear, look, look, look, look.

- "Dear Captain Man and Kid Danger.

"You guys are even better than country music.

"Enjoy the enormous basket.

Love--all three Dixie Chicks!"

- No way!! - Oh wow!

- Dude, that is amazing!

- Hey, we gotta call the Dixie Chicks

and thank 'em, right now!

- Ooo yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!

- Ah. - Wha--oh.

- Hey computer!

- Hello, how can I help you?

- Call Dixie Chicks.

- Calling: Dixie... Fried Chicken.

- No no, not fried chicken. Just abort, abort--

- What's the smoke about?

- I dunno.

Why don't you smell it,

and then tell me what it smells like.

- Alright. I'll just go ahead... Wait what?

Why do I have to smell it?

- Well what if it's dangerous?

- Well yeah, you're the indestructible one.

- Yeah but you're young. You have a young nose.

- What? Okay, y'know what, let's just...

let's just smell it together. Okay?

- Fine.

- Okay okay, what are you getting,

- Alright, I'm getting uhh... I'm gettin' hits of oak...

- Okay, I'm getting a little bit of oak.

But uhhh... some uhhh...

y'know a little bit of uhh...some,

- Notes of maple... you getting maple?

- Yeah I'm getting... some, some variety...

- and some...cinnamon... cinnamon...Nuts?

- Variety of fruits? - Yeah...

- Mm-mhh...uhh - Uh....

- Gah.

[ evil laugh ]

- Well well well...

so this is Captain Man's secret Man Cave.

Ha ha ha ha. Ooooh

Sleep sweetly, jerk-pops...

- Hey, can only girls wear these bunny ears?

Or can boys wear them too...

Y...you... you are The Toodler!

- It's The Toddler, ya moron.

- Captain Man? Kid Danger?

What did you do to them?!?

- Ooo, I'll never tell.

- Oh yah?!? Well then...

[ computer beeping, machines whirring ]

Hey! What'd you just do?

- Ooo, I'll never tell.

- Gah! - Aye!

[ camera shutter snapping ]

- All right, c'mon, you can't make faces like that.

- But I gotta look cool

if I want girls to like me for looking cool.

- Well just try a normal, natural smile.

- 'Kay-kay.

This better?

- Yeah, sure.

- Hey... - What?

- You know why this red light's flashing?

- What red l--

Uh-oh. Move.

- What's happening?!?

- Somebody put the Man Cave on stage two lockdown!

- Oh no! Stage two lockdown!

What does that mean?

- Dang-it, am I the only person here

who read the employee manual?!?

- I think so!

- When there's trouble in the Man Cave,

and you don't want anybody to be able to get in or out,

you activate a stage two lockdown!

- Ahhh! Oh! Ow!

- Oh my god! - Oh man!

- That's The Toddler!!!

- Well how'd The Toddler get into the Man Cave?!?

- I dunno, I just started watchin' this

when you did!!!

Something's wrong with Ray and Henry!!!

- Well what happened to 'em?!?

I just started watchin' this when you did!!!

- Ahhh! - He he he.

- It all just kinda happened.

I wanted an after-school job.

But then, an indestructible superhero

hired me to be his sidekick.

- Ah!

- Now we blow bubbles...

and fight crime. Feels good.

[ theme music ]

- Call it. - Up the tube!

- Aw, my boot! - Ha!

[ music ]

- Yeah, yeah, get in the elevator!

[ evil laugh ]

Ooooo, time for some apple juice.

- Wh...what's...

- Ooooooo. Look who's woke.

- Wh... oh my god!

- Uh, I think you mean... "Oh my TODD...ler."

- Wha-what are you doing here in the Man Cave?

Ah! Yo. - Ha ha ha ha.

- Oww! What the--

- Ha! Oh I'm sorry...

but you ain't goin' nowhere, Kid Dumbjer.

- Yeah, why don't you go change your diaper.

- No more diapers, Kid.

- What?

- I said no more diapers.

Maybe you didn't hear about it,

I hadn't seen ya for a long time,

they didn't go up there and tell ya.

- Who didn't go up where?

- I don't wear diapers anymore. Ya understand?

- Wh... what's got into you man?

I'm just messin' with ya a little bit,

that's all, I'm was only kiddin' with ya.

- Yeah well, sometimes it doesn't sound

like you're kiddin'.

- Okay, well, I'm sorry. Okay?

I'm sorry if I offended you.

- Yeah, yeah all right, all right.

Y'know I'm sorry, too. - Okay.

- Okay, salud

- Now why don't you go change your diaper?

- That's it! Ya stinkin' mutt!

Ahhh!

- Toddler!

Wh... what happened?

I was sniffing some colorful smoke and then I'm--

- Shut up, Captain Ham...

- Ooo, good one.

- Ooo, you all comfy in there?

- No!

- What is this thing, anyway?

- Oh well, I'd be delighted to explain.

Y'see...I'm gonna make you sweat.

- Sweat?

- That's right. This is a hot box...

which I will now set to...

degrees!

Think you can handle that?

- He's Captain Man, idiot.

He's indestructible.

- Hey Kid, don't uh--

- He can handle way hotter temperatures than that.

- Yeah that's right! Ha ha!

Well let's make it degrees!

- Hey thanks, Kid Danger!

Really appreciate the input!

- Y'see, Captain...

Sham...

My scientists, who happen to be evil,

they tell me that if I drink your sweat...

I will become indestructible, just like you.

For about minutes.

- You're gonna drink Captain Man's sweat?!?

- Well it's not like I'm lookin' forward to it.

But sure, if it'll make me temporarily indestructible,

then heck yeah I'm gonna drink it.

What am I, stupid?

- Ewwww. - Ewwww.

SCHWOZ: Ewwww.

- Jasper, I told you-- the elevator won't work

while the Man Cave is on stage two lockdown!

- Well I'm nervous and this keeps my finger busy!

- Well, if you wanna stay busy,

then you can help me pry this thing off the wall.

- What for? Why is that gonna help us?

- Ugh. If we get this off, then we can climb

into the air shaft, slide down it,

and get into the Man Cave so we can help Ray and Henry.

- HENRY!!!

- That's Piper!

- Yeah I know. We gotta get rid of her.

Heyyy Piper.

We were just back there--

- Flossing! We were flossing.

- I don't care about your oral hygiene!

I need to see Henry.

- Ohhhhh, whyyy?

- He set up my new phone for me,

and he turned on the, y'know,

the "facial recognition" security thing.

- Oh yeah, that's a really cool feature.

- No it's not!

- Yeah, some people don't like it.

- Henry set it up with his stupid face,

so now I can't unlock my phone without him!

- Can't ya just wait to use your phone 'til later tonight?

- Ah!

- Toddler! Toddler...c'mon man...

I need some water... I can't take this much heat!

- Ohhh yes you can, "Mister Indestructible!"

Ha! My vial is already half-full

of your sweet sweet sweat!

- Give it up, jerk!

You'll never get away with this.

- Oh yeah! And who's gonna stop me?!?

You're stuck in my sweat tube.

Your little boy toy's trapped

in my enormous gift basket...

and as for your fuzzy little co-worker...

I locked him in your stupid elevator,

with no way out!

- Yah...

I will show you who "can't get out"

of this elevator.

Daaah, that's my snack kit.

- Okay, I don't get it!

Henry supposedly works here,

but every time I come here to see him here,

he's never around!

- Your point?

- Where is Henry?!?

- He's...Henry... y'know..

Uh, Charlotte-- where'd you say Henry was again?

- Uhhh... He's...

stuck in the bathroom!

- He's stuck in the bathroom.

- Ah! Got it!

Jasper, I got it off, let's go!

- Ooo! - Wait! Go where?!?

- Uhh... to get Henry!

Ya, we're gonna crawl through an air shaft,

so that way we can get into the bathroom

and help Henry get out.

- Fine, then I'll come too.

- No no no no. - No, no, that's a bad idea.

- Why can't I go?

- Because uhhh...

- He's naked.

- Why would he be naked in the bathroom?!?

- Yeah Jasper, why?

- What?

You two don't know that dudes pee naked?

- Uh, I guess not.

- Anyway... you watch the store.

- Watch the store?

I don't know anything about store--

- Byee!!! - Byeeeee!!!

- Why pee naked?!?

- Okay, you're sure that this shaft

goes all the way down to the Man Cave?

- I think so!

Ready?!?

- Yeah, use me like a boogie board!

- Okay...

one, two, threeeee!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

- TOO MUCH FRICTIONNNNNNNN!!!

- Ahhh!!! - Ahhhhh!

- C'mon phone, let me in!

- Face, not recognized.

- No!!!

- Oh, ohhh.

- He he he he he.

- Ahhh!

- All right, Captain Ma'am...

a few swallows of this...

will make me just as indestructible as you are.

For about minutes.

And now...

- Kid!

Kid... I can't get outta here!

You gotta stop him!!!!

- I can't! I can't get outta this basket!

- Ah geez--I can't believe I'm gonna drink man sweat.

- Don't do it. - Oh well...

- No no no!!

- No!

- Oh it's so disgusting!

P'tah! P'tah!

- Ahhhh!

- Wh...what's that noise?!?

- I... I dunno...

all I can hear is me sweating.

- Ahhhhhh!

- Hiiii.

- It's...us.

- You guys, quick, get outta here, get outta here!

- But but but, The Toddler!

- We gotta stop him!

- You're too late, he already drank my sweat.

Now get outta here before he sees your faces!

- Seriously guys, go go go go!

- 'Kay Kay! - Okay c'mon!

- Oh oh!

Your sister needs you to fix her phone!

- Get outta here!!!

- What the heck was that?!

- Uh...I think you tripped.

- Yeah. It was hilarious.

- What? No, no, I didn't trip!

- C'monnnn elevator door...

- I'm the enemy.

You've been enormously argumentative today.

- You're the one that's denying what we're saying.

- And if you guys talk with me, more as human beings,

we could find some common ground.

Whataver!!

Now, let's see if I'm indestructible.

Owwwww!!!

I'm ohhhh-kaaaaay.

Get it?

'Cuz that's what you often say.

- Shut up, Toddler. - Nooo!

Now, I need to do a few tests,

just to make sure I'm indestructible!

Ahh!

I'm ohhhh-kaaaaay.

Ahhh!

I'm ohhhh-kaaaaay.

I'm ohhhh-kaaaaay.

Ahhh!

I'm ohhhh-kaaaaay.

Ahhh!

I'm ohhhh-kaaaaay.

I'm ohhhh-kaaaaay.

Still okay!

Well!

Now it looks like I'm an indestructible Toddler!

Which means I can commit any crime I want,

and no one can stop me!

For about minutes.

[ burps ]

Hey! How'd you get outta that elevator?!?

- I... I...

- Schwoz, he's still got his blaster!

- That's right!

- Ahhh!!! No, no no no...

- Oh...yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.

- Schwoz no.

- Schwoz!

- Buh-bye Schwoz.

- I'm okay!

- Schwoz! You're indestructible!!!

- I know, it's coo-coo crazy!

- Quick Schwoz, get us outta these things!

- Hurry!

- I don't think so!

Grrrr.

- Wh-what do I do now?

- Get him Schwoz!

- Yeah Schwoz,

Come have a taste of Todd...ler.

- C'mon take him out Schwoz.

You can do it.

Ohhh!! Alright that's it.

Get 'em, get him face!

- Yes!! - That's it!

- Get up, get up, get up, get up!

- Good! Good kick. - Yes!!

- Get angry Schwoz!

- Oh!! Snap!!

- Yeah, c'mon buddy.

- Schwoz...stay in it buddy. Stay in it.

There you go. Yeah yeah.

- Finish him!

Ooooo yeah!!

Nice Schwoz.

- Owww, I think you cracked my ribs!

Ahhh, I am not okay!

- That's it! It's been minutes

since The Toddler drank Captain Man's sweat!

Ooo, so his indestructibility is wearing off!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Quick Schwoz-- grab the remote

out of his pocket and let us outta here!

- Ooo!!!

- C'mon! - Whaddaya doin' in there?

- Good job Schwoz!

Okay. Alright.

Alright, you good?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

-- Ohhhhh man, I need about nine gallons of water.

- No worries, I'll get some for you right n--

- Gah! - Kid Danger!!! Look out!!!

- No no no no no no no!!!

Please. I promise I'll be good!!!

Don't hurt me!!!

- Oh--I'm not gonna hurt you--

- Okay. - Ha ha yeah.

Just hold up your finger. - Why?

- Just hold up your finger.

- Okay.

OWWW!!!

- Oh I'm sorry, did that hurt?

- Hey! Kid Danger! C'mere, quick!

- Hey, hey hey big guy, you okay?

- When will you get me some water?

- Just...just one sec.

What what?

- Your sister's been waiting upstairs

for over an hour.

- Why--what does she want?

- C'mon you dumb phone!

Will ya let me in already?!?

- Too many attempts.

Phone over-heating.

- That's not good.

- Temperature critical.

Contact fire department-- using another phone.

- Hey Piper!

You need me to help you with y--

Oh. There's Piper's phone.

Hey Piper, your phone's on the gr--

I should not have come to work today.

[ oven bell ] - Mmm.