[ music ]
- Okay guys you can wait right in here,
and the Vice Mayor will be in to see you shortly.
- Hmmm shortly - Sounds gooood.
- Would you like some bottled water while you wait?
- Nah thanks, water's gross.
- Yeah I'll have some... bottled water.
- Sure, would you like it cold or room temperature?
- Why don't you surprise me?
- Okay, I'll be right back.
- Yes. I'll remain here.
- Hey...
what do you think this thing is?
- That's just a paper weight.
- Hmmm. Are you sure?
Looks like a--
Woah! What th--?!? What's happening?!?
- Just put it down, put it back down quick!!!
- Ah, hello there,
Captain Man and Kid Dange...
- Oh, your uh... your paper weight uh...
- Your paper weight failed.
- Anyway, have a seat, fellas.
We need to have a little chit-chat.
- Alright. Havin' a seat right here.
- Chit the ol' chat, as they say.
- Now...
I've called you here because I--
- Excuse me, Vice Mayor Willard.
- Oh, of course.
- Captain Man, your bottled water?
- Ah yes, thank you.
Geez and crackers, this water's boiling hot!
- You said to surprise you with the temperature
so I put the bottle in the microwave.
- A-heh heh...
This is Cassie, my niece.
- They took away my scissors.
- That'll be all, Cassie.
- So...
Vice Mayor,
what'd you wanna talk to us about?
- Well, in a word: budget cuts.
- Th-That's two words.
- You see boys,
the city of Swellview is low on money.
- What?
Why would Swellview be low on money?
- Two words: Our New High Speed Railroad.
- He is terrible at counting words.
- Y'see, our new high speed rail project
is costing the tax payers billion dollars.
- What?!?
- I know. Pretty stupid, right?
- Yeah.
- Anyway, we're building it.
So that means we won't have money
for other things, such as crime fighting.
which is why we're cutting your budget by %.
- ?! - Per what?!?
What is he saying?
- He's saying they're gonna take away
almost all the money we get from the city,
which we need to run our crime fighting operation!
- Whoa whoa, whoa, whoas...
There's some good news, too...
Look, I'm got you guys
two tickets to our new high speed railroad.
- So?!?
- Nobody wants to ride on a railroad!
- Good, 'cuz it won't be ready
'til the year .
I'll be long dead by then!
- YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
- Cassie, get outta here!!!
- Disarm!
- All right, okay. - Just calm down!
Settle down!
- You're tickling my wrists.
Ha ha ha!
- Just take her to the basement.
- Who would like some bottled water?
- No one! - Not me.
- They took away my scissors!!
- Anyway, Vice Mayor,
you can't cut our budget by %.
- Sure I can.
I'm the Vice Mayor-- not the "nice" mayor.
Ha ha ha!
- What? Yeah...
but we need that money to run the Man Cave.
y'know, all that equipment.
- And to buy fuel for the Man Copter.
- I mean, how are we supposed
to fight crime and keep this city safe
if you take away all of our money?
- Good questions--
for which I have no answer.
You boys want some strudel?
I see you, Cassie.
- It all just kinda happened.
I wanted an after-school job.
But then, an indestructible superhero
hired me to be his sidekick.
- Ah!
- Now we blow bubbles...
and fight crime. Feels good.
[ theme music ]
- Call it. - Up the tube!
- Aw, my boot! - Ha!
[ music ]
- Okay, let's get started.
Today in the Man Cave,
we're gonna be talking about,
"Budget cuts."
What does it mean?
Charlotte?
- That our budget's been cut.
- Yes.
And, since the city of Swellview
isn't gonna be giving us nearly enough money
to fight crime anymore...
we're gonna need to make some changes around here.
- Ooo! Show them
what you made me do to the schnack machine!
- I was just about to talk about that!
G'yah!
The auto-snacker is no longer free,
as I will now demonstrate.
Tuna pot pie.
Computer:Tuna pot pie. dollars.
- Fifteen dollars?!? - For a tuna pot pie?!?
- Well, tough tuna--
we don't have enough money
for employees to get free food anymore.
Now next...
Going to the bathroom here
will no longer be free.
- No way! - Is that even legal?
- You're gonna charge us to pee?
- Well, yeah!
Stuff like water and toilet paper
and cheese costs money.
- Who eats cheese in the bathroom?
- That's what I wanna know.
- Oh, I'm "weird"
'cuz I like eating cheese in the bathroom?!?
- Okay, if we're really trying to save some money,
why don't we make Schwoz quit using our crime-fighting
budget to buy all kinds of crazy stuff for himself?
- Yeah, Schwoz, you're always using
your company credit card for your personal self.
- No I do not do that!
- Oh, don't ya!?!
Well then, why don't I just read off
some of the things you spent our money on last month.
- Nooooo, why are you being mean to me?
- Okay... last month...
Schwoz charged $ for a gym membership
to some place called Fatness To Fitness.
- I need it! So I can get big moosles!
- And how does you belonging to a gym
help us fight crime?
- Well...
what if you and Ray get captured?!?
I might have to, shpring into action!
- Wow, okay.
- Okay, and how many times
have you actually been to this gym you joined?
- I don't know, once?!?
- Ugh. - When?
- Tomorrow.
[ all groan ]
- All right, Schwoz!
You're gonna pay us back
every dollar that you spent on yourself!
- Noooo! I don't have enough money to pay it all back!
- Get a second job.
- Hey, my dad's lookin' for a handyman,
to do some work around the house.
- Hush up, I'm not doing that.
- Uh, hush up yes you are Schwoz!
- B-But why would you make m--
- Put on a disguise,
drive over to Henry's house, and you do any job
that Henry's silly father wants you to do!
- BAHHHHHHHH!!! - And whatever money you make,
you bring it back here and you give to me.
- Maybe.
- What? - Nothing, I didn't say nothing.
- Ray...
the Vice Mayor cut our budget by %.
- So?!? I know, so?!?
- So, you really think we're gonna make that money back
by paying for snacks,
and charging us to use the bathroom,
and by making Schwoz work part time jobs?
- No. But I have an idea.
A way for us to make more money.
- Why are you doing that with your tongue?
- Help! Help!
Hellllpppp!
Please help me!!!
- Baby just stay still!
- Don't scream at her!
- Well I don't know what to do!
- Alright... here we come.
- Okay. Everybody calm down.
- Look, it's Captain Man and Kid Danger!!!
- Oh, thank god you're here!!! - Please!
Our daughter's stuck up in this tree!
- Huh.
- Help!! Get me down!
- Kid, why don't you go ahead
and climb up that tree,
get the girl, and bring her down here.
- Alright, I'm all over it.
- Are you? - I'm going again.
- Go again.
Now don't worry--
Kid Danger will have your little girl
down here in just a few minutes.
- Oh thank you so much.
- Thank you Captain Man.
- And while we're waiting...
We can go ahead and settle up your bill.
- Our... our bill?
- Mmm-hmm. Now let's see...
we drove over here...
that was a mile drive...
- Wait wait wait, you're charging us money?
- To rescue our daughter?!?
- Well yeah.
I mean, you pay your gardener
when he gardens your garden... don'tcha?
And you pay your babysitter, to sit...
with your babies.
So, why would you complain about paying two superheroes,
for saving your daughter's life?
- Okay, there's no way we're paying you
to rescue our child.
- No chance.
- Oh really?
- Okay, she's comin' down!
- No no no, Kid wait. Just wait a--
- Ahhh!
- Oh baby! - Are you all right?!?
- I dunno.
- Okay, our work here is done.
- No it's not done.
- What are you talking about-- - They refused to pay.
So we're puttin' the girl back up in the tree.
- Come on, seriously-- - Girl--back in the tree!
- Okay. - Come on, darlin'...
- Okaaaaay... I'm finished.
- Ooo! It's finished?
Did you say you're already finished?
- Yah ya. You want to try it out?
- Heck yeah I do.
You have no idea how many years
I've wanted to be able to dim my lights.
- Okay, yah, great.
- Here I go...
Dyoooooo.
Wwwoooop!
Oh man, it's like I'm on Star Wars.
Dyoooooo.
Wwwoooop!
Dyoooooo.
Wwwooooo-- - That's enough.
- Okay, I'm home,
and I don't want to talk to anybody!
- Oh, hey Piper-- how was your day?
- I just said I don't want to talk to anybody!
- Oh okay.
- Ulch, fine,
I'll tell you why I'm upset.
- Actually, now I'd rather not know why you're ups--
- So, y'know how I'm having nine girls from my class
over here tomorrow, for high tea?
- No.
- Well I am--
and the interpretive dancer we hired CANCELED.
- Well, why do you need an interpretive dancer?
- Because you can't have high tea
without classy entertainment.
and there's nothing classier
than interpretive dancing!
- Ehhh...
so, how much money were you girls
going to pay this interpretive dancer?
- A hundred bucks, and who are you?!?
- Oh, Piper-- this is Miloche,
our new handyman.
- Yah yah, but I am also an interpretive dancer.
- What? - You are?
- For a hundred bucks I am.
[ pop song plays ] ♪ Let's start together
♪ I'm gonna let it my love go down ♪
♪ Let's be together
- He is wonderful. - Isn't he?
- Yeah, where'd you find him?
- Oh, I'll never tell.
- Ahhh.
It is sooo hotttt.
Ahhhhhh. Awwwww...
- Ohhhhhhhh.
My stomach hurts so baaaaaaad.
Ulllccchhh...
- I'm baaaa-- Oh schnizzle!
It's so hot in here!
Why it's so hot?
- Ray said we can't turn on the air-conditioning
'cuz it costs too much money.
- Baaaaaahhhhh.
- Owwwwww...
- What's wrong with Charlotte?
- I think she has food poisoning.
- I do have food poisoning!
Ohhh, I feel like I'm about to throw up.
- Ooh well look at this.
Henry's father gave me some food to take home.
You want some Indian Seafood Chowder?
- Nooooooooooooo.
- Look, it has oysters, and clams,
and fish eggs. Sniff it.
- Nooo! Ughhh!
- Hey what's going on g--
oh man it's hot in here!
- Yeah, well get used to it.
- Ayeeee! - Whoah!
- Why do you have an ollie-gator?!?
- 'Cuz it crawled into the playground
at Swellview Elementary School.
- Yeah, and guess who had to go capture it.
- Us.
And then Ray charged the little kids
bucks to get him out.
- I woulda got more but that was all they had!
- Well why did you bring him here?!?
- Why didn't you take him to Animal Control?
- 'Cuz there is no more Animal Control!
The dumb Vice Mayor cut their budget, too!
- Guys, please don't let the alligator eat me.
- Char...
What's going on? What's wrong?
- I ate bad meat from the auto-snacker.
- Well, why did the auto-snacker have bad meat?
- 'Cuz Ray told me to stock it
with the cheapest meat I could find.
- So what kind did you buy?
- Expired.
- What are you doing?!?.
- Ohhhhh. - Oh whyyyy?
- Really, Ray?
This is what we're doing now?
Not using air-conditioning?
Babysitting alligators?
Taking money from little kids?
Eating bad meat?
- Ohhhhh my gut!!!
- That's it! That does it!
- What does what?
- We're not takin' this anymore!
We're gonna go downtown,
we're gonna march right into the Vice Mayor's office,
and tell him that he better give us our full budget back,
or else... or else...
- We're gonna put an alligator down his pants!
- We're gonna put an alligator down his--
What?!? - I dunno man,
I'm tir--I'm just, I'm hot, it's hot in here,
just put the alligator down, let's go!
- Wait...
- What are we supposed to do with the ollie-gator?
- Don't upset him. - Why?
- So he doesn't k*ll you!
- Got it. - Up the tube!
[ music ]
- I am so mad.
- Stop light.
- Yeah, I see it.
- Oh my god you guys, that's Kid Danger!
- He's so cute.
- Hey, 'sup?
- Hi Kid Danger!
- Why are you in that stupid car?
- Bye! [ girls giggling ]
- Yeah, why are we in Schwoz's stupid car?
Why couldn't we take the Man's Am?
- Uh, because this car gets miles per gallon?
You know how many miles per gallon
the Man's Am gets?
- One?
- One! One mile per gallon.
- Okay, I got it. - You wanna pay for the gas?!?
- Not really.
- Do you wana reach into your own wallet?
- No, no, I don't. - I didn't think so.
- Come on dude, don't get mad at me.
- I'm sorry okay.
I just want the Vice Mayor
to give us our money back! Y'know?!?
- Y'know what?
Why don't we practice what we're gonna say.
- Practice? - Yeah, like rehearse.
- Oh okay, yeah.
- Like you be you, and I'll be the Vice Mayor.
- Yeah, okay. Yeah I like it.
Yeah, let's do it.
- Let's do it.
- Okay. I'm gonna go in there,
I'm gonna go, listen, Vice Mayor, yeah!
I'm gonna point at him. I'm gonna grab his throat.
- No, no, no. Don't grab his throat.
- No, I'll just point at him.
And I'll see, we need that money.
- Oh, well that's a strong point.
- Yeah, to fight crime and keep the city of Swellview safe.
- If you say so. - Yeah, I do say so.
So you better give us our money back.
- Hang, hang on, the sun's in my eyes.
- Don't break character like that--I was in the zone.
- Hang on! I'm just gonna put down the visor.
Okay? Is that okay? - Yes. Do it.
Let's get back to it.
What was that?
- I dunno...
- It looks like a bunch of...used...
- Dental floss?
- Oh my god, this floss was in Schwoz's mouth!!!
- Oh! Don't put it on me!!
- Get it outa-- - Ahh! It's on my leg!!
- I do not want it! - I do not want it either.
- I do not want it - I'm trying to drive here.
- Get it, get it outa here AHHHHHH!!!
[ cars honking ]
- Man! Why would you do that?
- Oh my god.
- All right, Vice Mayor,
I've got words to say!
- Leave my shoe alone!
- What's goin' on here... - What th--
- Somebody please help me!!!
- Vice Mayor?!? - Is that you?!?
- Yeah.
- Oh, hi Captain Man, Kid Danger.
Can I get you some bottled water?
- No!
- Regular or room temperature?
- Wh--Neither!!! - Okay, you know what.
- Help me!!!
Cassie's gone crazy!!!
- Unh unh unh!!!
Don't come any closer, or I'll sizz the rope!
- No no no no!!! - Don't sizz it!
Don't sizz it!!!
Look Cassie, we just, we just wanna talk.
- Yeah...
wh-why dont you just tell us why you're so upset.
- Sure. I'm upset
because my stupid uncle Vice Mayor
says that, from now on, when I'm here at work,
I have to pay for my lunches!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
- Hey!! No, no, no
- Cassie, Cassie, you can not cut that rope!
- Uhh, I agree with Kid Danger.
- Yes I can!
Scissors can do anything!
- All right, Cassie...
[ beeping ]
- Uh dude, I don't think that's such a good idea-
- Don't worry. I got a plan.
- What's your plan?
- Just play along with whatever I say!
- Okay.
- What are you guys whispering about?!?
- We're whispering about this pulse grenade.
And in... seconds,
it's gonna blow this whole room
to smitheroons.
- Reens. - What?
- Smithereens. - I said smithereens.
- Mmmm-you said "smitheroons."
- Well what difference does it m--
- Hey! Can you please do something?!?
I'm hangin' out a window upside down!
- You be quiet, Uncle Will!
- Weirdo! - Ahhhh!!
- Hey, hey, hey!
seconds, then kaboom.
- Don't make us explode you.
- Just... turn it off!!!
- Mmmm, I can't. - He can't.
You better run.
- Yeah. or you may never have lunch ever again.
Seven...six... five...
four... three...
- AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
- No, no, no... - W-wait wait wait,
There's a door right there---
- Ohhh that wasn't necessary.
- Ahhh Cassie, let go.
You're gonna make me fall.
- Give me back my scissors!!!
- Wait! Dude,
why didn't the pulse grenade go off?!?
- 'Cuz. See, I used my thumb here
to make it look like there were only seconds.
But I actually set it to minutes and seconds.
- Ha!
- See what I did with my thumb?
- I see what you did there. You thumbed her.
- Yeah, I sure did.
- Hey hey!
C'mon, can somebody please pull me up?!?
Hello?
C'mon, would ya help me?
- Uhhh...
Yeah, see, we, we would help you...
- But...see since you cut our budget,
we have to charge money now
for superhero...ing.
- Well, how much to pull me up, into my office?
- Uh, let's see. That would cost you...
- Our full budget!
- Whaaaaat?!? Ahhh, c'mon!
- Yeah, If you wanna be rescued,
you gotta give us our full budget back.
- Plus %. - Plus %.
- And a boat. - And a nice boat!
- A nice bo-- All right fine.
Fine. You can have your full budget back!
- Plus?
- Plus ten percent!
- And?
- And a nice boat!
Now pull me up, would ya?
- Dude! Good call on the boat.
- Um, um, pulling you up.
- Yeah, comin' up.
- On C. - Go.
- A...B...C!
- Yahhh!
- Great!
Now I'm holding onto a ledge without my pants.
- Uhhhhhh...
- Your pants are fine!
- Ahh shut up!!
- We also saved one of your shoes!
- Oh good.
- Hey, who wants some bottled water?
- Ah Cassie, there's more to life
than bottled water!
[ beeping ]
- Hey, what's that beeping?
- I dunno.
- Uhh...Dude?
Did you forget to turn off the pulse grenade?
- Oh n--
[ birds chirp ]
[ music ]
[ oven bell ] - Mmm.
04x09 - Budget Cuts
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After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.
After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.