03x03 - Tyler Tucker, I Presume
Posted: 03/30/24 18:46
- This is me, eliza thornberry,
Part of your average family.
I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.
There is donnie-- we found him.
And darwin--he found us.
- [Jabbering]
- Oh, yeah, about our house--
It moves, 'cause we travel all over the world.
You see, my dad hosts this nature show,
And my mom sh**t it.
Okay, so we're not that average.
And between you and me, something amazing happened...
And now I can talk to animals.
It's really cool but totally secret.
And you know what?
Life's never been the same.
[Hooting and screaming]
[Upbeat percussive music]
♪
- Whoo!
[Laughing]
Oof!
[Panting]
Let's see the famous tyler tucker do that.
- I just want to see this famous cousin
You've been talking about for...
For-- oh, some long amount of time.
What do you call it again?
Days? Uh, hours?
- Weeks.
And he gets here today.
- What?
Oh, but I haven't groomed.
Oh, he'll think I'm no better than a warthog.
- Trust me.
Tyler's never been out of the suburbs.
He's never seen a warthog,
Let alone a chimpanzee.
- Really?
So he'll think I'm an exotic beast
And will feed me lots of treats?
Hoo-hoo! I can't wait!
-Ican.
I spend all my summers with tyler.
He's one big...
- Eliza!
Report to camp immediately!
That means now!
- Pain in the neck.
- We will be leaving camp at sharp!
That means dishes done, beds made,
Bug collections stowed and secured.
Anything else?
- Okay, let's see.
As soon as we get back with tyler,
We'll be all set to go down the river
To film the clawless otter.
Uh, oh, could you girls wash the comvee?
- Comvee must be washed!
Wait a sec.
Why do we have to wash it if we're taking it
Down some smelly river?
- Oh, but the congo
Isn't smelly at all, deborah.
It cuts through the heart of africa,
Crossing the equator twice.
- Truly fascinating, dad.
[Whining] mom...
- Oh, I guess it's clean enough.
- [Giggling]
Sorry, mom!
The roof got a little muddy.
- Nice going, ape girl.
[Engine turns over]
[Engine rumbling and rattling]
Grab a bucket and meet me on the roof.
Oh, and set the parking brake, will you?
- Yeah, yeah.
- [Jabbering]
- Tyler's gonna mess up my whole month.
- Is he really that bad?
- Yes, he always teases me
And tries to get me into trouble.
You have no idea.
- No, I can't imagine.
Nope. Haven't the foggiest.
No. Not a clue.
- And he's going to stick to me like glue,
So we have to be careful about talking, okay?
- [Jabbering]
- [Whispering] try to use the sign language
I taught you.
- But I only know a few words.
- Shh!
- If a gorilla can do it, so can a chimp.
- Uh? Hmm?
- Deb, are we moving?
- Didn't you set the parking brake?
Oh! - Oops!
[Both shrieking]
Debbie, grab these!
- Who do I look like? Sheena, queen of the jungle?
- Whoo! - Agh!
- Just do it!
- Whoa! - [Screams]
[Shrill shrieking]
- Wow!
What's that bird, uncle nigel?
- That's a common waxbill,
Known for its colorful plumage and shrill cry.
[Debbie screaming]
- That's no bird!
That's debbie!
[All screaming]
[Crashing and thudding]
- [Coughs]
Hey, tyler.
Long time, no see.
- Isn't that your trailer?
[Rumbling and rattling]
- [Gasps]
[Crashing]
- Girls...
- Debbie moved the comvee.
- Eliza forgot to set the parking brake.
- [Laughs] oh, man.
That's even better than the time
You didn't tie the boat to the dock.
- I did tie it.
My knot came undone.
- Kids, I think you're missing the point.
The rowboat drifted a few yards
In -foot-deep water.
What we have here is a large motor home
Stuck in a ravine.
- [Laughing and hooting]
Ooh? Hmm.
[Jabbering]
- Astonishing.
No fingers in the nose.
No yanking of the ears.
And he hasn't put a single bug in your hair.
[Laughs]
I'd say you've won over our donnie
In record time.
- Nigel, I'm worried about making our deadline.
We've only got three days to find the clawless otter,
And you know how rare they are.
What are we gonna do?
[Metal creaking]
[Clattering]
- Now, while those good men
Are taking care of raising our trusty comvee
From its cavernous prison,
We will go forth with our journey.
- But, nigel, how did you possibly arrange a boat
On such short notice?
- Oh, it took some wheeling and dealing, as they say,
But we'll cruise down the congo in true adventure style,
Much like henry morton stanley in .
- A cruise? [Gasps]
You mean with a breakfast buffet and a disco and a pool?
- Get real.
They didn't have disco in .
- I'm sure your father means we're following stanley's route
But in a modern powerboat.
- Oh, not at all, lovie.
Our vessel will be fueled by steam and wood.
- She's a beauty, uncle nigel.
- Yeah, dad. Oh, it's cool.
- Not "it."
Boats are always called "she"s.
- How do you know?
- Learned it at camp.
Besides, look at her name.
- [Scoffs] yeah, well...
If I were prudence,
I wouldn't be too thrilled
To have my name on this piece of junk.
[Clattering, steam hissing]
- Oh, deborah, you'll feel differently
When you get out on the river,
The tropical winds in your hair.
[Laughing]
All aboard!
[Boat whistle blaring]
- Kids, you all saw the life preservers, didn't you?
- Oh, don't you worry, aunt marianne.
I'm a champion swimmer.
- Just in case, ty.
- Tyler, don't.
There's crocodiles in the river.
- Oh, no, they're not.
The internet says
They stay on the banks this early.
- Oh, yeah?
Did the internet tell you
That crocodiles drag their victims underwater
And chomp them in half?
That they'll eat buffaloes, lions, and even people?
- Uh...no.
- Don't even try, tyler.
Miss fun fact will get you every time.
- Whew! Loaded and ready to go.
Everyone, we're on a tight schedule.
Anyone spots an otter, let me know.
- Sure, aunt marianne.
I'll find one for you. - Yeah, right.
You've never even seen a clawless otter.
- Aunt marianne! I see an otter!
- Oh! Where?
- [Scoffs]
[Slurping]
- Ooh!
[Sniffing]
[Grunts]
[Giggling]
Ooh, wha-ooh!
[Chuckles and jabbers]
- Nigel, look what tyler spotted.
Isn't it great having ty here, eliza?
Oh, this is perfect.
Ready to go on camera?
- Absolutely, lovely.
Tyler, perhaps you'd be my first mate
And steer the boat.
- No problem, uncle nigel.
- Might not be so bad having the kid around.
He can do all the work.
Great cds, ty! Thanks!
- No problem, cuz.
- "No problem, cuz."
"I'll find the otter, aunt marianne."
What a kiss-up.
- So what is with your sister and that chimp?
- Ha! Who knows?
I just tune it out.
- [Jabbers]
- Thanks, donnie.
- Just a warning.
You shouldn't eat anything that donnie gives you.
- [Gulps]
Oh, you're just trying to scare me,
Just like the time you told me
That raisins were bugs without legs.
- [Laughs]
You believed that for a year!
[Laughter]
- You remember that time I told you
I hit a home run out of yankee stadium,
And you fell for it?
- Yeah, like a seven-year-old plays major-league baseball.
- [Babbling and wailing]
Uhh, hmm?
[Laughs]
- Ah, right. Toss one across the plate.
- [Chuckles]
[Grunts]
- [Grunts]
Whoo-hoo! All right!
Home run for tyler tucker!
- Hoo...
- Don't worry, dude.
I'll get it.
- Tyler, no! You can't go in the water!
- Doesn't he know you have to wait an hour after eating
Before going in the water?
[Crocodile snarls]
- Oh, no! A crocodile!
- [Panting]
- Tyler, come back!
- I got to get the ball!
[Gasps]
- Tyler, don't panic.
There's a crocodile behind you.
Both: crocodile!
- [Gasps]
[Crocodile growls]
- No! You'll make him mad!
- [Grunts]
Tyler, grab this!
We'll pull you in!
- [Gasping]
- Hang on, tyler!
Hurry up! Nigel, nigel, come on!
Hurry, hurry, nigel! Come on! Pull it!
- [Babbling]
Whee-ow! Hoo-hoo!
- [Gasps]
Great gooseflesh!
Where's the boy?
- Guess I fooled that croc, didn't i?
[Laughs]
- Oh...
- Tyler, this isn't matawankic lake.
You can't go jumping into the water
Whenever you feel like it.
Oh, sometimes I think this life isn't safe for children.
- Oh, mom, when you're right, you are right.
Maybe we should all head back.
Thanks, ty, for showing us the error of our ways.
Check, please.
- Don't listen to debbie.
I'll make sure tyler doesn't get in any more trouble.
- Hey, I can take care of myself.
- Tyler, here in africa,
Life is fraught with danger.
Why, just last week,
Eliza had a serious encounter with a lioness.
- [Scoffs] I was totally fine.
- I suggest you handcuff the two kids together
And take your chances.
- I am not a kid. I'm a teenager.
- You don't turn for four more weeks.
We're the same age.
- [Scoffs] no, we're not.
You're still a kid.
- What?
- Marianne, they appear to be having
A bit of a cousiny spat.
What should we do?
- Oh, they'll work it out.
They just need to give each other some space.
[Thunder crashing]
- [Gibbering]
Wha!
- You're hogging the blanket.
- Well, I'm getting wet.
- Everyone doing all right?
- Right as rain, dearest.
[Laughs and snorts]
- [Groans]
I bet that stanley guy
Didn't travel down the congo
With his whole entire family and a monkey.
[Engine chugging]
- We'll head for stanley pool.
We're going to put on some speed,
As they say.
Would you children be loves
And check for rocks?
- Yeah, sure, dad.
- Okeydokey, uncle nigel.
Uncle nigel, turn quick!
There's a huge rock off port side.
- [Gasps]
- Your rock is a hippo.
[Laughs]
- Well, it looked like a rock.
- Oh, common mistake, my boy.
The hippo must keep submerged during the heat of day
As they have no sweat glands.
- Uncle nige, go a little closer.
I want to get a good shot.
- Absolutely not, tyler.
The hippopotamus
Is the most dangerous animal in africa.
- But they just eat grass.
- Oh, yes,
But that doesn't keep them from attacking
Anything that enters their territory.
- Yikes.
Kind of like eliza.
[Laughs]
- You are so annoying.
Dad, tell us a captain jack story.
- Oh, yeah, uncle nigel.
I haven't heard you tell one of those
Since I was a kid.
- Let's see.
When last we left our intrepid captain jack,
He was going to sail around the cape of good hope.
- That's in south africa.
- I know.
- [Clears throat]
Shall we, then?
As captain jack was loading his vessel
With foodstuffs and protection against pirates--
It being and everything--
[Chuckles]
He was approached by his cousin, um, elizabeth,
To journey with him.
- Huh? - His cousin?
- I thought captain jack didn't take anyone along.
- Normally, no,
But he made an exception.
After all, she was family.
- This doesn't sound like the captain jack I know.
- Children, I believe you are missing the point.
Ahem!
You see, after the two were chased by enemy ships
And survived rapids and dreadful leeches,
They became the best of friends.
- Dear, isn't that the plot ofthe african queen?
- [Mumbling]
- [Laughs]
You remember the time
When eliza got a bloodsucker on her at the lake
And she wouldn't stop crying?
- You would have cried too.
We were only .
-Youwere .
I was /.
- Oh... [Groans]
Well, perhaps we should call it a night.
Don't forget your mosquito netting.
Nothing like terra firma under our feet
And an unexplored jungle ahead.
We're bound to find some firewood.
- And the children can't get in any trouble on a boat.
Lead the way, captain jack.
- [Snoring]
- [Grunting]
Uncle nigel and aunt marianne
Won't be back for a while.
Time for a little spin.
- [Shrieking and babbling]
- Shh!
Avast, ye sleepyheads!
Captain tucker has taken command of theprudence.
- Gee, that's exciting.
- Oh, we're moving!
- Yeah, I want to drive this rust bucket.
- It's not a rust bucket.
I mean,sheis not a rust bucket.
- Isn't he/she/it going kind of fast?
- Oh, yeah.
I really stoked the fire.
Your parents are bringing back more wood,
So why not?
- That's why not!
- Oh, pssh!
Like I'm gonna fall for that.
It's just a bunch of hippos.
- I'm serious! Those are not hippos!
- I told you, tyler-- miss fun fact is never wrong!
- We're going to hit those rocks!
Whoa!
[Shrieks]
[All grunting and straining]
- [Wailing]
[All shrieking]
[Metal screeching and crunching]
- What was that?
- Uh, sounds like the propeller hit something.
- Okay, nobody panic!
Is that bad?
- It just means we can't move,
Thanks to tyler.
- So I made a little mistake.
- Little?
We're stuck out here!
- I'll just go down there and fix it.
- Nope. I'll go.
- You?
You can't hold your breath underwater
As long as me.
Besides, I'm a teenager.
- Not yet!
- Time-out!
Iama teenager,
So I will decide.
Now separate, and let me think.
[Water splashing]
- [Sniffs]
Dearest, I believe we're being tracked.
[Bells jingling]
Why, it's the basenji,
The faithful dog of the pygmies.
- I didn't even hear them bark.
- That's because they're barkless,
In order to hunt more stealthily.
- Hello!
Do you, by chance, have two girls, two boys,
And a chimpanzee
Traveling by small boat?
- You know, I really don't see why a champion swimmer
Has to wear this dumb rope around his waist.
- You don't know what's down there.
- Ty, tug on this
If you even think you see a crocodile,
And if we see something, we'll tug for you to come up.
- There might be snakes.
- Snakes?
I'll be okay.
[Inhales deeply]
- [Grunting]
- [Gasping]
- Did you fix it?
- Couldn't!
There was a snake!
- I'm going!
- [Jabbering]
- No. No. I'm okay.
It's probably gone now.
- [Babbling]
- Oh, both of you go, and make it snappy!
The place is crawling with crocs.
You guys are not going back down there.
- But we've got to fix this.
- No one leaves this boat.
[Both grunting]
Understood?
- I forgot how bossy she was.
- Hello? I heard that!
I'm only over here!
[Laughter]
- Ty, we're sinking!
We've got to get to shore!
- [Panting and gibbering]
- [Grunts] - ahh...
- Stay here! I need to talk--
Uh, I mean, assign something to darwin.
I've got a plan.
Tyler thinks I'm telling you in sign language.
- There's no time.
Just whisper it to me.
- I'm gonna get... [Whispering]
- [Hooting]
- Wow.
You're really good at this sign language stuff.
- Thanks. Now we can climb across.
- [Gibbering]
Wha-whoa!
- Donnie!
- [Gasps]
[Grunts]
- Come on, donnie.
[Grunting]
[Basenji baying]
- Heavens! Hippos!
[Hippos grunting]
Eliza! Get back in the boat!
- [Gasping]
[Crocodiles growling]
- [Gasping]
- Hey, hippo!
- You...
Get out of my river!
- I'm trying, believe me.
Could you just leave us alone?
- The boy is first,
Then you.
- I don't know about that.
Those crocodiles are pretty fast.
- Huh?
Crocs don't scare us.
- Looks like they want the boy too.
You might want to claim him,
It being your river and all.
- [Roaring]
[All snarling and growling]
- [Grunts]
- You okay?
- I went to the bottom,
And I stayed there as long as I could.
- [Sighs]
Good thing you're the champion
Of holding your breath underwater.
- I'm gonna miss that rust bucket.
- Wha-hoo!
[Gibbering]
- Gentlemen,
I can't thank you enough.
Here's the money for the comvee
And, of course, uh, forprudence.
- I never thought I would say this, but...
Home sweet home!
Dibs on the first shower.
- Ty, it's not too late to call your parents,
If you want to go home.
You've had quite an adventure
With those crocodiles and hippos.
- There's no dishonor in conquering the river congo
And calling it a day, my boy.
- Get out while you can.
- What do you think, eliza?
- What are you guys talking about?
Ty was supposed to stay four weeks;
He's staying four weeks.
He did great out there.
- Ah, I guess I did, didn't i?
So do I get to see the famous comvee now?
Where's my room?
Oh, I bet it's gonna be so great.
- Hold on, pirate boy.
I want to draw some boundary lines.
- Kids, wipe your feet.
- Ty, uh, perhaps I should show you
What doodads and gizmos you shouldn't touch.
- Oh, this is so cool!
- Like that one.
- Is this eliza's stuff?
- [Groans]
What am I doing out here?
[Objects clattering]
- [Laughs]
- You are so annoying.
Part of your average family.
I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.
There is donnie-- we found him.
And darwin--he found us.
- [Jabbering]
- Oh, yeah, about our house--
It moves, 'cause we travel all over the world.
You see, my dad hosts this nature show,
And my mom sh**t it.
Okay, so we're not that average.
And between you and me, something amazing happened...
And now I can talk to animals.
It's really cool but totally secret.
And you know what?
Life's never been the same.
[Hooting and screaming]
[Upbeat percussive music]
♪
- Whoo!
[Laughing]
Oof!
[Panting]
Let's see the famous tyler tucker do that.
- I just want to see this famous cousin
You've been talking about for...
For-- oh, some long amount of time.
What do you call it again?
Days? Uh, hours?
- Weeks.
And he gets here today.
- What?
Oh, but I haven't groomed.
Oh, he'll think I'm no better than a warthog.
- Trust me.
Tyler's never been out of the suburbs.
He's never seen a warthog,
Let alone a chimpanzee.
- Really?
So he'll think I'm an exotic beast
And will feed me lots of treats?
Hoo-hoo! I can't wait!
-Ican.
I spend all my summers with tyler.
He's one big...
- Eliza!
Report to camp immediately!
That means now!
- Pain in the neck.
- We will be leaving camp at sharp!
That means dishes done, beds made,
Bug collections stowed and secured.
Anything else?
- Okay, let's see.
As soon as we get back with tyler,
We'll be all set to go down the river
To film the clawless otter.
Uh, oh, could you girls wash the comvee?
- Comvee must be washed!
Wait a sec.
Why do we have to wash it if we're taking it
Down some smelly river?
- Oh, but the congo
Isn't smelly at all, deborah.
It cuts through the heart of africa,
Crossing the equator twice.
- Truly fascinating, dad.
[Whining] mom...
- Oh, I guess it's clean enough.
- [Giggling]
Sorry, mom!
The roof got a little muddy.
- Nice going, ape girl.
[Engine turns over]
[Engine rumbling and rattling]
Grab a bucket and meet me on the roof.
Oh, and set the parking brake, will you?
- Yeah, yeah.
- [Jabbering]
- Tyler's gonna mess up my whole month.
- Is he really that bad?
- Yes, he always teases me
And tries to get me into trouble.
You have no idea.
- No, I can't imagine.
Nope. Haven't the foggiest.
No. Not a clue.
- And he's going to stick to me like glue,
So we have to be careful about talking, okay?
- [Jabbering]
- [Whispering] try to use the sign language
I taught you.
- But I only know a few words.
- Shh!
- If a gorilla can do it, so can a chimp.
- Uh? Hmm?
- Deb, are we moving?
- Didn't you set the parking brake?
Oh! - Oops!
[Both shrieking]
Debbie, grab these!
- Who do I look like? Sheena, queen of the jungle?
- Whoo! - Agh!
- Just do it!
- Whoa! - [Screams]
[Shrill shrieking]
- Wow!
What's that bird, uncle nigel?
- That's a common waxbill,
Known for its colorful plumage and shrill cry.
[Debbie screaming]
- That's no bird!
That's debbie!
[All screaming]
[Crashing and thudding]
- [Coughs]
Hey, tyler.
Long time, no see.
- Isn't that your trailer?
[Rumbling and rattling]
- [Gasps]
[Crashing]
- Girls...
- Debbie moved the comvee.
- Eliza forgot to set the parking brake.
- [Laughs] oh, man.
That's even better than the time
You didn't tie the boat to the dock.
- I did tie it.
My knot came undone.
- Kids, I think you're missing the point.
The rowboat drifted a few yards
In -foot-deep water.
What we have here is a large motor home
Stuck in a ravine.
- [Laughing and hooting]
Ooh? Hmm.
[Jabbering]
- Astonishing.
No fingers in the nose.
No yanking of the ears.
And he hasn't put a single bug in your hair.
[Laughs]
I'd say you've won over our donnie
In record time.
- Nigel, I'm worried about making our deadline.
We've only got three days to find the clawless otter,
And you know how rare they are.
What are we gonna do?
[Metal creaking]
[Clattering]
- Now, while those good men
Are taking care of raising our trusty comvee
From its cavernous prison,
We will go forth with our journey.
- But, nigel, how did you possibly arrange a boat
On such short notice?
- Oh, it took some wheeling and dealing, as they say,
But we'll cruise down the congo in true adventure style,
Much like henry morton stanley in .
- A cruise? [Gasps]
You mean with a breakfast buffet and a disco and a pool?
- Get real.
They didn't have disco in .
- I'm sure your father means we're following stanley's route
But in a modern powerboat.
- Oh, not at all, lovie.
Our vessel will be fueled by steam and wood.
- She's a beauty, uncle nigel.
- Yeah, dad. Oh, it's cool.
- Not "it."
Boats are always called "she"s.
- How do you know?
- Learned it at camp.
Besides, look at her name.
- [Scoffs] yeah, well...
If I were prudence,
I wouldn't be too thrilled
To have my name on this piece of junk.
[Clattering, steam hissing]
- Oh, deborah, you'll feel differently
When you get out on the river,
The tropical winds in your hair.
[Laughing]
All aboard!
[Boat whistle blaring]
- Kids, you all saw the life preservers, didn't you?
- Oh, don't you worry, aunt marianne.
I'm a champion swimmer.
- Just in case, ty.
- Tyler, don't.
There's crocodiles in the river.
- Oh, no, they're not.
The internet says
They stay on the banks this early.
- Oh, yeah?
Did the internet tell you
That crocodiles drag their victims underwater
And chomp them in half?
That they'll eat buffaloes, lions, and even people?
- Uh...no.
- Don't even try, tyler.
Miss fun fact will get you every time.
- Whew! Loaded and ready to go.
Everyone, we're on a tight schedule.
Anyone spots an otter, let me know.
- Sure, aunt marianne.
I'll find one for you. - Yeah, right.
You've never even seen a clawless otter.
- Aunt marianne! I see an otter!
- Oh! Where?
- [Scoffs]
[Slurping]
- Ooh!
[Sniffing]
[Grunts]
[Giggling]
Ooh, wha-ooh!
[Chuckles and jabbers]
- Nigel, look what tyler spotted.
Isn't it great having ty here, eliza?
Oh, this is perfect.
Ready to go on camera?
- Absolutely, lovely.
Tyler, perhaps you'd be my first mate
And steer the boat.
- No problem, uncle nigel.
- Might not be so bad having the kid around.
He can do all the work.
Great cds, ty! Thanks!
- No problem, cuz.
- "No problem, cuz."
"I'll find the otter, aunt marianne."
What a kiss-up.
- So what is with your sister and that chimp?
- Ha! Who knows?
I just tune it out.
- [Jabbers]
- Thanks, donnie.
- Just a warning.
You shouldn't eat anything that donnie gives you.
- [Gulps]
Oh, you're just trying to scare me,
Just like the time you told me
That raisins were bugs without legs.
- [Laughs]
You believed that for a year!
[Laughter]
- You remember that time I told you
I hit a home run out of yankee stadium,
And you fell for it?
- Yeah, like a seven-year-old plays major-league baseball.
- [Babbling and wailing]
Uhh, hmm?
[Laughs]
- Ah, right. Toss one across the plate.
- [Chuckles]
[Grunts]
- [Grunts]
Whoo-hoo! All right!
Home run for tyler tucker!
- Hoo...
- Don't worry, dude.
I'll get it.
- Tyler, no! You can't go in the water!
- Doesn't he know you have to wait an hour after eating
Before going in the water?
[Crocodile snarls]
- Oh, no! A crocodile!
- [Panting]
- Tyler, come back!
- I got to get the ball!
[Gasps]
- Tyler, don't panic.
There's a crocodile behind you.
Both: crocodile!
- [Gasps]
[Crocodile growls]
- No! You'll make him mad!
- [Grunts]
Tyler, grab this!
We'll pull you in!
- [Gasping]
- Hang on, tyler!
Hurry up! Nigel, nigel, come on!
Hurry, hurry, nigel! Come on! Pull it!
- [Babbling]
Whee-ow! Hoo-hoo!
- [Gasps]
Great gooseflesh!
Where's the boy?
- Guess I fooled that croc, didn't i?
[Laughs]
- Oh...
- Tyler, this isn't matawankic lake.
You can't go jumping into the water
Whenever you feel like it.
Oh, sometimes I think this life isn't safe for children.
- Oh, mom, when you're right, you are right.
Maybe we should all head back.
Thanks, ty, for showing us the error of our ways.
Check, please.
- Don't listen to debbie.
I'll make sure tyler doesn't get in any more trouble.
- Hey, I can take care of myself.
- Tyler, here in africa,
Life is fraught with danger.
Why, just last week,
Eliza had a serious encounter with a lioness.
- [Scoffs] I was totally fine.
- I suggest you handcuff the two kids together
And take your chances.
- I am not a kid. I'm a teenager.
- You don't turn for four more weeks.
We're the same age.
- [Scoffs] no, we're not.
You're still a kid.
- What?
- Marianne, they appear to be having
A bit of a cousiny spat.
What should we do?
- Oh, they'll work it out.
They just need to give each other some space.
[Thunder crashing]
- [Gibbering]
Wha!
- You're hogging the blanket.
- Well, I'm getting wet.
- Everyone doing all right?
- Right as rain, dearest.
[Laughs and snorts]
- [Groans]
I bet that stanley guy
Didn't travel down the congo
With his whole entire family and a monkey.
[Engine chugging]
- We'll head for stanley pool.
We're going to put on some speed,
As they say.
Would you children be loves
And check for rocks?
- Yeah, sure, dad.
- Okeydokey, uncle nigel.
Uncle nigel, turn quick!
There's a huge rock off port side.
- [Gasps]
- Your rock is a hippo.
[Laughs]
- Well, it looked like a rock.
- Oh, common mistake, my boy.
The hippo must keep submerged during the heat of day
As they have no sweat glands.
- Uncle nige, go a little closer.
I want to get a good shot.
- Absolutely not, tyler.
The hippopotamus
Is the most dangerous animal in africa.
- But they just eat grass.
- Oh, yes,
But that doesn't keep them from attacking
Anything that enters their territory.
- Yikes.
Kind of like eliza.
[Laughs]
- You are so annoying.
Dad, tell us a captain jack story.
- Oh, yeah, uncle nigel.
I haven't heard you tell one of those
Since I was a kid.
- Let's see.
When last we left our intrepid captain jack,
He was going to sail around the cape of good hope.
- That's in south africa.
- I know.
- [Clears throat]
Shall we, then?
As captain jack was loading his vessel
With foodstuffs and protection against pirates--
It being and everything--
[Chuckles]
He was approached by his cousin, um, elizabeth,
To journey with him.
- Huh? - His cousin?
- I thought captain jack didn't take anyone along.
- Normally, no,
But he made an exception.
After all, she was family.
- This doesn't sound like the captain jack I know.
- Children, I believe you are missing the point.
Ahem!
You see, after the two were chased by enemy ships
And survived rapids and dreadful leeches,
They became the best of friends.
- Dear, isn't that the plot ofthe african queen?
- [Mumbling]
- [Laughs]
You remember the time
When eliza got a bloodsucker on her at the lake
And she wouldn't stop crying?
- You would have cried too.
We were only .
-Youwere .
I was /.
- Oh... [Groans]
Well, perhaps we should call it a night.
Don't forget your mosquito netting.
Nothing like terra firma under our feet
And an unexplored jungle ahead.
We're bound to find some firewood.
- And the children can't get in any trouble on a boat.
Lead the way, captain jack.
- [Snoring]
- [Grunting]
Uncle nigel and aunt marianne
Won't be back for a while.
Time for a little spin.
- [Shrieking and babbling]
- Shh!
Avast, ye sleepyheads!
Captain tucker has taken command of theprudence.
- Gee, that's exciting.
- Oh, we're moving!
- Yeah, I want to drive this rust bucket.
- It's not a rust bucket.
I mean,sheis not a rust bucket.
- Isn't he/she/it going kind of fast?
- Oh, yeah.
I really stoked the fire.
Your parents are bringing back more wood,
So why not?
- That's why not!
- Oh, pssh!
Like I'm gonna fall for that.
It's just a bunch of hippos.
- I'm serious! Those are not hippos!
- I told you, tyler-- miss fun fact is never wrong!
- We're going to hit those rocks!
Whoa!
[Shrieks]
[All grunting and straining]
- [Wailing]
[All shrieking]
[Metal screeching and crunching]
- What was that?
- Uh, sounds like the propeller hit something.
- Okay, nobody panic!
Is that bad?
- It just means we can't move,
Thanks to tyler.
- So I made a little mistake.
- Little?
We're stuck out here!
- I'll just go down there and fix it.
- Nope. I'll go.
- You?
You can't hold your breath underwater
As long as me.
Besides, I'm a teenager.
- Not yet!
- Time-out!
Iama teenager,
So I will decide.
Now separate, and let me think.
[Water splashing]
- [Sniffs]
Dearest, I believe we're being tracked.
[Bells jingling]
Why, it's the basenji,
The faithful dog of the pygmies.
- I didn't even hear them bark.
- That's because they're barkless,
In order to hunt more stealthily.
- Hello!
Do you, by chance, have two girls, two boys,
And a chimpanzee
Traveling by small boat?
- You know, I really don't see why a champion swimmer
Has to wear this dumb rope around his waist.
- You don't know what's down there.
- Ty, tug on this
If you even think you see a crocodile,
And if we see something, we'll tug for you to come up.
- There might be snakes.
- Snakes?
I'll be okay.
[Inhales deeply]
- [Grunting]
- [Gasping]
- Did you fix it?
- Couldn't!
There was a snake!
- I'm going!
- [Jabbering]
- No. No. I'm okay.
It's probably gone now.
- [Babbling]
- Oh, both of you go, and make it snappy!
The place is crawling with crocs.
You guys are not going back down there.
- But we've got to fix this.
- No one leaves this boat.
[Both grunting]
Understood?
- I forgot how bossy she was.
- Hello? I heard that!
I'm only over here!
[Laughter]
- Ty, we're sinking!
We've got to get to shore!
- [Panting and gibbering]
- [Grunts] - ahh...
- Stay here! I need to talk--
Uh, I mean, assign something to darwin.
I've got a plan.
Tyler thinks I'm telling you in sign language.
- There's no time.
Just whisper it to me.
- I'm gonna get... [Whispering]
- [Hooting]
- Wow.
You're really good at this sign language stuff.
- Thanks. Now we can climb across.
- [Gibbering]
Wha-whoa!
- Donnie!
- [Gasps]
[Grunts]
- Come on, donnie.
[Grunting]
[Basenji baying]
- Heavens! Hippos!
[Hippos grunting]
Eliza! Get back in the boat!
- [Gasping]
[Crocodiles growling]
- [Gasping]
- Hey, hippo!
- You...
Get out of my river!
- I'm trying, believe me.
Could you just leave us alone?
- The boy is first,
Then you.
- I don't know about that.
Those crocodiles are pretty fast.
- Huh?
Crocs don't scare us.
- Looks like they want the boy too.
You might want to claim him,
It being your river and all.
- [Roaring]
[All snarling and growling]
- [Grunts]
- You okay?
- I went to the bottom,
And I stayed there as long as I could.
- [Sighs]
Good thing you're the champion
Of holding your breath underwater.
- I'm gonna miss that rust bucket.
- Wha-hoo!
[Gibbering]
- Gentlemen,
I can't thank you enough.
Here's the money for the comvee
And, of course, uh, forprudence.
- I never thought I would say this, but...
Home sweet home!
Dibs on the first shower.
- Ty, it's not too late to call your parents,
If you want to go home.
You've had quite an adventure
With those crocodiles and hippos.
- There's no dishonor in conquering the river congo
And calling it a day, my boy.
- Get out while you can.
- What do you think, eliza?
- What are you guys talking about?
Ty was supposed to stay four weeks;
He's staying four weeks.
He did great out there.
- Ah, I guess I did, didn't i?
So do I get to see the famous comvee now?
Where's my room?
Oh, I bet it's gonna be so great.
- Hold on, pirate boy.
I want to draw some boundary lines.
- Kids, wipe your feet.
- Ty, uh, perhaps I should show you
What doodads and gizmos you shouldn't touch.
- Oh, this is so cool!
- Like that one.
- Is this eliza's stuff?
- [Groans]
What am I doing out here?
[Objects clattering]
- [Laughs]
- You are so annoying.