06x05 - Operation S.P.I.N.A.C.H./Operation M.E.S.S.A.G.E.
Posted: 03/30/24 06:27
[ Fanfare plays ]
The most honorable
Amerigo vespinacio!
[ Foreign accent ] ah, your
Majesty.
[ Foreign accent ] you may
Rise, brother vespinacio.
You have come with a request...
Yes, no?
sí, s your majesty.
I wish to travel to the
New world and spread the word of
The glorious spinach to all the
Children!
A wonderful idea!
In the name of our land,
La spinacia, I'm gonna give you
And your conquistadores the
Blessing of the kingdom.
Now go with the spinach!
Uh, numbuh 4, I don't see
Anyone else here.
Are you sure it's "national walk
Out of school and go to the
Beach day"?
Sure it is!
I just came up with the idea
This morning.
I don't know.
We could get in big trouble.
Relax, numbuh 2.
Have I ever gotten us into
Trouble?
- ]] Ah... - ]] Don't answer that question!
Anyway, it's lunchtime.
What you got to trade for a
Baloney sandwich?
Ooh, how about a chicken
Salad...
I claim this land in the name
Of la spinacia!
Do you mind, bub?
We're trying to have lunch here!
Ooh, we bring the lunch, huh?
You try this spinach quiche, no?
Eecchhh!
No is right!
Um, well, maybe just a taste.
And it was during this period
That the tolmecs first started
Using chipotle sauce as a
Building material.
The spinach armada!
They got numbuh 2!
Wallabee beetles!
How many times do I have to tell
You not to come to class in your
Underwear?!
[ Laughter ]
It's a bathing suit!
Not to be alarmed, children.
We come in peace.
All we ask is that you try the
Spinach, and you will see the
Way of the glorious green leaf!
I don't know who you think
You are, but we don't give in to
Culinary terrorism, especially
For something that looks like
Seaweed and tastes like dirt!
[ Gasps ]
You speak the blasfemia!
Fluently!
And if you think you guys can
Just come into our school and
Force-feed us this junk, then
You've never tangled with us.
Kids next door, battle stations!
Yay!
Mission time!
So long, green jeans!
Ha ha ha ha!
[ All roaring ]
[ Groans ]
A little help here, guys?
My stupid door is jammed!
- ]] All right, team, we've got to - get to the tree house and call
- In clover kids next door for - backup.
Let's do it!
Hey, look!
A camping trip.
- [ All gasp ] - what?
You guys forget your
Marshmallows or something?
[ Pounding ]
[ Groans ]
Thanks for waiting up, guys.
Next time... [ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
In spinach-us we eat-us,
In our belly-us,
Yummy, yummy spinach-us.
Come here!
Give me your robe, you
Spinach-eating creep.
[ Gasps ] numbuh 2?
Man, I'm glad I found you.
For a minute, I thought I was
Gonna have to save us all from
Eating disgusting spinach by
Myself.
But there's nothing
Disgusting about spinach,
Numbuh 4.
It's quite good, actually.
What?!
Ha!
That's a good one, numbuh 2.
For a second there, I thought
You were serious.
[ Foreign accent ] I am
Serious, numbuh 4!
You should really give spinach a
Try.
I'm sure you, too, will be
Converted to the wonders of the
Green leaf.
Well, that's just cr-cr-crazy
Talk!
- No kid actually likes to eat - that crud.
Ah, brother hoagie, I see you
Are spreading the word of the
Glorious spinach to your
Friends!
But, alas,
Brother vespinacio, numbuh 4
Will not open his mouth to the
Joys of the green leaf.
Oh, don't you worry,
Brother hoagie.
You go with the others and sing
The joys of the leaf.
I will show your amigo here the
Green light personally.
Go with the spinach,
Wallabee.
Blecch!
In spinach-us we love-us.
We eat-us in our belly-us.
And now, mi amigo, you will
Eat the spinach!
You can't make me!
Oh, no?
[ Screaming in distance ]
We have ways of making you eat.
Spinach-us, you eat-us, or
Else-us we sing-us.
[ Gulps ]
[ Upbeat music plays ]
♪ Try it, you'll like it
♪ That's what we have to say
- ♪ Just taste it - ♪ you'll love it
♪ There is no other way
♪ The spinach inquisition...
It's here, and it's a hoot ♪
♪ The spinach inquisition
♪ Some call it a leafy food
♪ Just taste it
- ]] ♪ You'll love it - ]] ♪ why go through
- All this row? ♪ - ]] ♪ A bit then?
♪ A smidgen
♪ You really can't say no
- ]] I said no once, I said no - twice.
- You chained me here, and that's - not nice.
- I will not eat it, not even a - scrap.
I will not try it.
- It tastes like... - ]] ♪ Stop!
♪ Why no,
You little so-and-so? ♪
♪ If you will not try it,
Then in the vat you go ♪
♪ Oh
♪ Will you try it?
No, no, no!
♪ Will you taste it?
Unh-unh-unh.
Well, if he won't try it,
Maybe his girlfriend will.
♪ So, come on, monks,
Let's give them a thrill ♪
- ]] ♪ Please, taste it - ♪ you'll love it
♪ Don't make us be so harsh
♪ A nibble, why quibble?
♪ It won't make you barf
What's wrong with you?
Are you deaf?
- Bring that junk back to the - chef.
- ]] It's yucky, blecchy, gross, - and stupid.
I tried it once.
- It tastes like... - ]] ♪ Stop! Oh, please,
Don't make us get severe ♪
♪ Or maybe you'd be better off
Trying it in here ♪
♪ Will you try it
- In a bowl? ♪ - ]] Not one lousy crumb.
- ]] ♪ Will you try it - on a roll? ♪
♪ Do I look like I'm that
Dumb?! ♪
♪ Yeah!
♪ The spinach inquisition...
Come on and open wide ♪
♪ The spinach inquisition...
Turn your belly green inside ♪
♪ We asked you very nicely
♪ We asked you a few times
♪ But if you will not taste it,
I'm afraid you'll have to... ♪
Stop!!
"Stop" is right!
The only thing worse than
Spinach is a cruddy
Song-and-dance number about
Spinach!
[ Normal voice ] I didn't
Realize you were forcing kids to
Eat spinach.
Ah, sí.
I know, I know.
Nobody ever expects the spinach
Inquisition.
[ Rim shot ]
But you are a naive little boy,
amigo.
Most childrens no eat the
Spinach and love it, like you.
But if they don't like to eat
Spinach, then they shouldn't
Have to eat it.
[ Gasps ]
Be careful, brother hoagie.
You speak the blasfemia!
[ Foreign accent ] you're...
Right, brother vespinacio.
I don't know what came over me.
If these children won't taste
The joys of spinach on their
Own, they must be forced to.
Numbuh 2, what are you do...
Whaaa!
- ]] That's a good boy, - brother hoagie.
Huh?
- ]] [ Normal voice ] hey, - amerigo, how about you take a
Turn on the wheel?
Aahhh!
Get out of the way!
[ All screaming ]
Yaahhh!
Huh?
[ Panting ]
Hey, come back here!
All right, vespinacio, take your
Leafy lackeys and go back where
You came from.
You will pay for your heresy
Against the spinach, mi amigo!
Ha! Raahh!
[ Laughs ]
[ Chuckles ]
You can't win, you know?
Even if you... Ugh! Defeat
Us, more kids will sprout up
Like spinach and defeat your
Green tyranny.
[ Groans ]
Ah-hoo!
Yaaahh!
[ Cries ]
Oh-oh-oh, my face!
Aah!
He-e-lp!
Help!
Please!
I hate the spinach!
All: what?!
There, I said it.
I hate the spinach!
What, doesn't everybody?
I agree.
He's right.
Then why do you eat it?
The king of spinacia, he
Makes us eat it.
Please, I beg you, get me out of
Here!
All right...
But under one condition.
So, for saving our
Countryman, we sign this treaty,
And we will never force the kids
In your country to eat the
Spinach again!
We will instead head north to
Canada!
Ha ha!
You know, I don't really like
The spinach, either.
I'm just trying to get everyone
Else to eat it so I don't have
To.
Ha ha ha!
So, you want to trade some of
Your spinach for a chicken-salad
Sandwich?
[ Thinking ] it's a darn
Lonely life out here, but some
Cowpoke's got to do it.
Sometimes, I got to remind
Myself that the job didn't
Choose me.
I chose the job.
And so I ride alone.
Maybe I've rode for you at one
Point or another.
You say you want a note passed
To some "feller" in your math
Class.
You talk to me.
And you say you don't want no
Varmints to see what's written
On that there note?
You talk to me.
Mr. Gilligan!
And you say you definitely
Don't want no teacher getting
Ahold of that note and reading
It in class?
Mr. Gilligan!!
Well, you guessed it,
Pardner.
You talk to me.
Mr. Gilligan, I am talking to
You!!
And what is a campfire doing in
My school hallway?
Just rustling up some
Victuals there,
Sheriff sauerbraten.
By the way, did you know that
Victuals is spelled "vic-tu-als"
But pronounced "vittles"?
No!
But I do know that detention
Will be pronounced "gilligan" if
You don't get to class
Immediately!
Don't get your underwear all
Twisted in the saddle, sheriff.
I'm a-going.
Aah!
I'd love to stay and gab with
You, but me and old rickety here
Gots a meeting with a certain
Fourth-grade president.
Giddyup, girl.
Yee-ha!
Who was that masked boy?
Whoa!
Be right back, girl.
Howdy, pardners.
Where have you been,
Gilligan?
Sorry, but I had to rustle me
Up some victuals before your
Delivery.
Say, did you know that
"Victuals" is actually
Spelled...
Yes, yes, it's spelled
"Vic-tu-als."
I know.
- But I didn't call you here for a - spelling lesson.
- I called you to deliver a very - important message for
President eggleston.
[ Laughs stupidly ]
[ Humming ]
The kids next door baloney
Express has successfully
Delivered thousands of notes
Without one ever being read in
Front of class.
Well, this one had better not
Be read by anybody other than
Its intended recipient.
I assume you know muffy jenkins.
She's a cute filly, but a
Might kissy-faced, if you ask
Me.
I didn't ask you, but I'm
Telling you that you have until
The end of lunch period to
Deliver this note to her.
Relax, there, greenhorn.
I ain't never missed a delivery
Yet.
[ Imitates g*n clicking ]
Not yet you haven't.
[ Thinking ] duke, runt, and
Lunk... The six-gum g*ng.
Now what do you suppose those
No-good varmints are doing,
Lingering around these parts?
[ Western music plays ]
[ Whispering indistinctly ]
[ Whistles ]
Saddle up, boys!
It's not every day a feller
Gets to deliver a note for the
President of the whole fourth
Grade.
Is it a love note?
The answers to this afternoon's
History quiz?
That doesn't matter to me.
I'm just the messenger.
- And while it's my job to deliver - notes...
There he is!
Get him!
It's other folks' jobs to
Stop me.
I should have figured today
Would be the six-gum g*ng's
Turn.
Yaahhh!
Pull over, you
Good-for-nothing polecat!
[ Giggling stupidly ]
Huh?
Yee-ha!
- [ Thinking ] good thing the - g*ng's all here.
I could use some help... With my
Homework.
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Aahhh!
Not gonna lose runt as easy
As the rest of them.
So we'll just have to go
Somewhere he won't.
Right, old rickety?
[ Brakes squeal ]
Dang burnit!
Idiot done hightailed it into
The gym.
Durn fool will never make it out
Of there alive.
[ Horse clomping slowly ]
[ Bird screeches ]
[ Thinking ] not many
Cowpokes dare venture into the
Gym anymore.
Some say it's a wasteland of old
Shorts and dirty socks.
But I see the place as
Perfect...
Perfect for an ambush.
Easy there, old rickety.
They ain't gonna bother us.
We're just passing through all
Friendly like.
[ Panting ]
[ Thinking ] well, at least they
Got the decency not to sh**t
When a cowpoke's trying to get
His hat back on.
Aaahh!
[ Groans ]
[ Thinking ] kindergartners.
There are many tribes in this
School, but the crayonk are the
Biggest and noblest of them all.
They're also the least forgiving
If they catch an older kid
Wandering in their territory.
Duck, duck, duck, goose.
Aah!
So, mind my asking what you kids
Are up to?
Silence, fourth grader.
Once "duck, duck, goose" dance
Done, you fall into pit of
Paste, and your goose cooked!
Speaking of cooking, you
Wouldn't mind helping a cowpoke
- Out with some victuals, would - you?
Which reminds me...
Don't!
- Do not do this, - "sits in corner."
Out of way,
"Gets pigtails pulled."
This fourth grader must be
Punished.
What goes on here?
Oh, "chief colors with broken
Crayons," that boy has done
Nothing wrong.
Nothing?
- He found wandering in crayonk - territory.
You come to take our milk
Money, like your president and
His g*ng did many calendar pages
Ago?
Begging your pardon, chief,
But president
James nixon mcgarfield got sent
To permanent detention after
Turning totally evil.
There's a new president in town,
Egbert eggleston.
Egg-boy, huh?
My dad friends with his dad.
Buy us ice cream after soccer
Practice.
Mmm, two scoops.
But if we not send message to
Older kids, they will come like
Screaming girls to "rainbow
Monkeys on ice" show and beat us
Up for milk money.
"Sits in corner" has great
Anger at fourth graders for
Giving him atomic wedgie long
Ago.
But we kindergartners cannot
Hide from older kids forever.
We must make peace with them,
Trade yipper cards, and play
Together.
- ]] But... - ]] Silence!
"Mother dresses funny,"
"Still wets pants," release the
Fourth grader.
Thanks, pardners.
- ]] [ Grumbles ] - [ western music plays ]
There you are!
- ]] [ Thinking ] nice kids, those - kindergartners.
But they really cut into my
Schedule.
Now I've got just enough time to
Deliver the note and hopefully
Rustle up some victuals.
Hmm... Funny word, that.
Aah! Whoa!
[ Thinking ] building-block
Barricade... Old kindergartner
Trick, which can only mean...
Yeee!
I don't care what chief says!
"Sits in corner" will never
Trust older kids!
Well, well.
A kiddy-gartner.
And just in time for lunch.
So hand over your milk money
Before I give you an atomic
Wedgie, like I did last time.
Hee hee!
No!
- That's all my mommy gave me for - today.
I need my vitamin "d"!
Give it!
[ Whimpering ]
Thank you.
Now, beat it, shrimp.
[ Groans ]
I gots me some business with
Mr. Delivery boy here.
Give it back, runt.
[ Western music plays ]
Why the heck do you care?
He's just a lousy kiddy-gartner.
I said, give it back.
Oh, yeah?
Make me.
Ow!
[ Groans ]
Nice try, slowpoke.
Now, about that there note
You're delivering...
Oop!
[ Babbling ]
Today "sits in corner"
Realize that not all fourth
Graders are bad.
Much obliged, kid.
I just hate seeing a young'un
Lose his milk money to a bully.
No, you keep and... How you
Say? Rustle yourself up some
Victuals.
Well, I'd love to tell you a
Funny story about that word, but
I got a delivery to make.
See ya around, pardner.
[ Indistinct conversations ]
Afternoon, ladies.
Special delivery for
Muffy jenkins, courtesy of the
- Kids next... - The note!
Oh, my gosh!
Oh, my gosh!
I lost the note!
That's what I was trying to
Tell you, you idiot!
You left the president's office
Without it!
[ Laughs nervously ]
I-i thought I forgot something.
Yeah, your brain!
Of all the dangblasted,
No-good, useless polecats, I get
Stuck with...
Well, my work here is done.
Happy trails, ladies.
Like I said before, it's a
Lonely job, but somebody's got
To do it.
Maybe one day you'll need a note
Delivered, and if you do, you
Know who to call.
So, what's the note say,
Muffy?
- ]] [ Giggles ] - oh, nothing.
That egg-boy is so weird.
♪ Kids next door
♪ Kids next door
[ Electric guitar solo ]
♪ Kids next door
♪ Kids next door
♪ Kids next door
[ Electric guitar solo ]
♪ Kids next door
♪ Kids next door
The most honorable
Amerigo vespinacio!
[ Foreign accent ] ah, your
Majesty.
[ Foreign accent ] you may
Rise, brother vespinacio.
You have come with a request...
Yes, no?
sí, s your majesty.
I wish to travel to the
New world and spread the word of
The glorious spinach to all the
Children!
A wonderful idea!
In the name of our land,
La spinacia, I'm gonna give you
And your conquistadores the
Blessing of the kingdom.
Now go with the spinach!
Uh, numbuh 4, I don't see
Anyone else here.
Are you sure it's "national walk
Out of school and go to the
Beach day"?
Sure it is!
I just came up with the idea
This morning.
I don't know.
We could get in big trouble.
Relax, numbuh 2.
Have I ever gotten us into
Trouble?
- ]] Ah... - ]] Don't answer that question!
Anyway, it's lunchtime.
What you got to trade for a
Baloney sandwich?
Ooh, how about a chicken
Salad...
I claim this land in the name
Of la spinacia!
Do you mind, bub?
We're trying to have lunch here!
Ooh, we bring the lunch, huh?
You try this spinach quiche, no?
Eecchhh!
No is right!
Um, well, maybe just a taste.
And it was during this period
That the tolmecs first started
Using chipotle sauce as a
Building material.
The spinach armada!
They got numbuh 2!
Wallabee beetles!
How many times do I have to tell
You not to come to class in your
Underwear?!
[ Laughter ]
It's a bathing suit!
Not to be alarmed, children.
We come in peace.
All we ask is that you try the
Spinach, and you will see the
Way of the glorious green leaf!
I don't know who you think
You are, but we don't give in to
Culinary terrorism, especially
For something that looks like
Seaweed and tastes like dirt!
[ Gasps ]
You speak the blasfemia!
Fluently!
And if you think you guys can
Just come into our school and
Force-feed us this junk, then
You've never tangled with us.
Kids next door, battle stations!
Yay!
Mission time!
So long, green jeans!
Ha ha ha ha!
[ All roaring ]
[ Groans ]
A little help here, guys?
My stupid door is jammed!
- ]] All right, team, we've got to - get to the tree house and call
- In clover kids next door for - backup.
Let's do it!
Hey, look!
A camping trip.
- [ All gasp ] - what?
You guys forget your
Marshmallows or something?
[ Pounding ]
[ Groans ]
Thanks for waiting up, guys.
Next time... [ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
In spinach-us we eat-us,
In our belly-us,
Yummy, yummy spinach-us.
Come here!
Give me your robe, you
Spinach-eating creep.
[ Gasps ] numbuh 2?
Man, I'm glad I found you.
For a minute, I thought I was
Gonna have to save us all from
Eating disgusting spinach by
Myself.
But there's nothing
Disgusting about spinach,
Numbuh 4.
It's quite good, actually.
What?!
Ha!
That's a good one, numbuh 2.
For a second there, I thought
You were serious.
[ Foreign accent ] I am
Serious, numbuh 4!
You should really give spinach a
Try.
I'm sure you, too, will be
Converted to the wonders of the
Green leaf.
Well, that's just cr-cr-crazy
Talk!
- No kid actually likes to eat - that crud.
Ah, brother hoagie, I see you
Are spreading the word of the
Glorious spinach to your
Friends!
But, alas,
Brother vespinacio, numbuh 4
Will not open his mouth to the
Joys of the green leaf.
Oh, don't you worry,
Brother hoagie.
You go with the others and sing
The joys of the leaf.
I will show your amigo here the
Green light personally.
Go with the spinach,
Wallabee.
Blecch!
In spinach-us we love-us.
We eat-us in our belly-us.
And now, mi amigo, you will
Eat the spinach!
You can't make me!
Oh, no?
[ Screaming in distance ]
We have ways of making you eat.
Spinach-us, you eat-us, or
Else-us we sing-us.
[ Gulps ]
[ Upbeat music plays ]
♪ Try it, you'll like it
♪ That's what we have to say
- ♪ Just taste it - ♪ you'll love it
♪ There is no other way
♪ The spinach inquisition...
It's here, and it's a hoot ♪
♪ The spinach inquisition
♪ Some call it a leafy food
♪ Just taste it
- ]] ♪ You'll love it - ]] ♪ why go through
- All this row? ♪ - ]] ♪ A bit then?
♪ A smidgen
♪ You really can't say no
- ]] I said no once, I said no - twice.
- You chained me here, and that's - not nice.
- I will not eat it, not even a - scrap.
I will not try it.
- It tastes like... - ]] ♪ Stop!
♪ Why no,
You little so-and-so? ♪
♪ If you will not try it,
Then in the vat you go ♪
♪ Oh
♪ Will you try it?
No, no, no!
♪ Will you taste it?
Unh-unh-unh.
Well, if he won't try it,
Maybe his girlfriend will.
♪ So, come on, monks,
Let's give them a thrill ♪
- ]] ♪ Please, taste it - ♪ you'll love it
♪ Don't make us be so harsh
♪ A nibble, why quibble?
♪ It won't make you barf
What's wrong with you?
Are you deaf?
- Bring that junk back to the - chef.
- ]] It's yucky, blecchy, gross, - and stupid.
I tried it once.
- It tastes like... - ]] ♪ Stop! Oh, please,
Don't make us get severe ♪
♪ Or maybe you'd be better off
Trying it in here ♪
♪ Will you try it
- In a bowl? ♪ - ]] Not one lousy crumb.
- ]] ♪ Will you try it - on a roll? ♪
♪ Do I look like I'm that
Dumb?! ♪
♪ Yeah!
♪ The spinach inquisition...
Come on and open wide ♪
♪ The spinach inquisition...
Turn your belly green inside ♪
♪ We asked you very nicely
♪ We asked you a few times
♪ But if you will not taste it,
I'm afraid you'll have to... ♪
Stop!!
"Stop" is right!
The only thing worse than
Spinach is a cruddy
Song-and-dance number about
Spinach!
[ Normal voice ] I didn't
Realize you were forcing kids to
Eat spinach.
Ah, sí.
I know, I know.
Nobody ever expects the spinach
Inquisition.
[ Rim shot ]
But you are a naive little boy,
amigo.
Most childrens no eat the
Spinach and love it, like you.
But if they don't like to eat
Spinach, then they shouldn't
Have to eat it.
[ Gasps ]
Be careful, brother hoagie.
You speak the blasfemia!
[ Foreign accent ] you're...
Right, brother vespinacio.
I don't know what came over me.
If these children won't taste
The joys of spinach on their
Own, they must be forced to.
Numbuh 2, what are you do...
Whaaa!
- ]] That's a good boy, - brother hoagie.
Huh?
- ]] [ Normal voice ] hey, - amerigo, how about you take a
Turn on the wheel?
Aahhh!
Get out of the way!
[ All screaming ]
Yaahhh!
Huh?
[ Panting ]
Hey, come back here!
All right, vespinacio, take your
Leafy lackeys and go back where
You came from.
You will pay for your heresy
Against the spinach, mi amigo!
Ha! Raahh!
[ Laughs ]
[ Chuckles ]
You can't win, you know?
Even if you... Ugh! Defeat
Us, more kids will sprout up
Like spinach and defeat your
Green tyranny.
[ Groans ]
Ah-hoo!
Yaaahh!
[ Cries ]
Oh-oh-oh, my face!
Aah!
He-e-lp!
Help!
Please!
I hate the spinach!
All: what?!
There, I said it.
I hate the spinach!
What, doesn't everybody?
I agree.
He's right.
Then why do you eat it?
The king of spinacia, he
Makes us eat it.
Please, I beg you, get me out of
Here!
All right...
But under one condition.
So, for saving our
Countryman, we sign this treaty,
And we will never force the kids
In your country to eat the
Spinach again!
We will instead head north to
Canada!
Ha ha!
You know, I don't really like
The spinach, either.
I'm just trying to get everyone
Else to eat it so I don't have
To.
Ha ha ha!
So, you want to trade some of
Your spinach for a chicken-salad
Sandwich?
[ Thinking ] it's a darn
Lonely life out here, but some
Cowpoke's got to do it.
Sometimes, I got to remind
Myself that the job didn't
Choose me.
I chose the job.
And so I ride alone.
Maybe I've rode for you at one
Point or another.
You say you want a note passed
To some "feller" in your math
Class.
You talk to me.
And you say you don't want no
Varmints to see what's written
On that there note?
You talk to me.
Mr. Gilligan!
And you say you definitely
Don't want no teacher getting
Ahold of that note and reading
It in class?
Mr. Gilligan!!
Well, you guessed it,
Pardner.
You talk to me.
Mr. Gilligan, I am talking to
You!!
And what is a campfire doing in
My school hallway?
Just rustling up some
Victuals there,
Sheriff sauerbraten.
By the way, did you know that
Victuals is spelled "vic-tu-als"
But pronounced "vittles"?
No!
But I do know that detention
Will be pronounced "gilligan" if
You don't get to class
Immediately!
Don't get your underwear all
Twisted in the saddle, sheriff.
I'm a-going.
Aah!
I'd love to stay and gab with
You, but me and old rickety here
Gots a meeting with a certain
Fourth-grade president.
Giddyup, girl.
Yee-ha!
Who was that masked boy?
Whoa!
Be right back, girl.
Howdy, pardners.
Where have you been,
Gilligan?
Sorry, but I had to rustle me
Up some victuals before your
Delivery.
Say, did you know that
"Victuals" is actually
Spelled...
Yes, yes, it's spelled
"Vic-tu-als."
I know.
- But I didn't call you here for a - spelling lesson.
- I called you to deliver a very - important message for
President eggleston.
[ Laughs stupidly ]
[ Humming ]
The kids next door baloney
Express has successfully
Delivered thousands of notes
Without one ever being read in
Front of class.
Well, this one had better not
Be read by anybody other than
Its intended recipient.
I assume you know muffy jenkins.
She's a cute filly, but a
Might kissy-faced, if you ask
Me.
I didn't ask you, but I'm
Telling you that you have until
The end of lunch period to
Deliver this note to her.
Relax, there, greenhorn.
I ain't never missed a delivery
Yet.
[ Imitates g*n clicking ]
Not yet you haven't.
[ Thinking ] duke, runt, and
Lunk... The six-gum g*ng.
Now what do you suppose those
No-good varmints are doing,
Lingering around these parts?
[ Western music plays ]
[ Whispering indistinctly ]
[ Whistles ]
Saddle up, boys!
It's not every day a feller
Gets to deliver a note for the
President of the whole fourth
Grade.
Is it a love note?
The answers to this afternoon's
History quiz?
That doesn't matter to me.
I'm just the messenger.
- And while it's my job to deliver - notes...
There he is!
Get him!
It's other folks' jobs to
Stop me.
I should have figured today
Would be the six-gum g*ng's
Turn.
Yaahhh!
Pull over, you
Good-for-nothing polecat!
[ Giggling stupidly ]
Huh?
Yee-ha!
- [ Thinking ] good thing the - g*ng's all here.
I could use some help... With my
Homework.
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Aahhh!
Not gonna lose runt as easy
As the rest of them.
So we'll just have to go
Somewhere he won't.
Right, old rickety?
[ Brakes squeal ]
Dang burnit!
Idiot done hightailed it into
The gym.
Durn fool will never make it out
Of there alive.
[ Horse clomping slowly ]
[ Bird screeches ]
[ Thinking ] not many
Cowpokes dare venture into the
Gym anymore.
Some say it's a wasteland of old
Shorts and dirty socks.
But I see the place as
Perfect...
Perfect for an ambush.
Easy there, old rickety.
They ain't gonna bother us.
We're just passing through all
Friendly like.
[ Panting ]
[ Thinking ] well, at least they
Got the decency not to sh**t
When a cowpoke's trying to get
His hat back on.
Aaahh!
[ Groans ]
[ Thinking ] kindergartners.
There are many tribes in this
School, but the crayonk are the
Biggest and noblest of them all.
They're also the least forgiving
If they catch an older kid
Wandering in their territory.
Duck, duck, duck, goose.
Aah!
So, mind my asking what you kids
Are up to?
Silence, fourth grader.
Once "duck, duck, goose" dance
Done, you fall into pit of
Paste, and your goose cooked!
Speaking of cooking, you
Wouldn't mind helping a cowpoke
- Out with some victuals, would - you?
Which reminds me...
Don't!
- Do not do this, - "sits in corner."
Out of way,
"Gets pigtails pulled."
This fourth grader must be
Punished.
What goes on here?
Oh, "chief colors with broken
Crayons," that boy has done
Nothing wrong.
Nothing?
- He found wandering in crayonk - territory.
You come to take our milk
Money, like your president and
His g*ng did many calendar pages
Ago?
Begging your pardon, chief,
But president
James nixon mcgarfield got sent
To permanent detention after
Turning totally evil.
There's a new president in town,
Egbert eggleston.
Egg-boy, huh?
My dad friends with his dad.
Buy us ice cream after soccer
Practice.
Mmm, two scoops.
But if we not send message to
Older kids, they will come like
Screaming girls to "rainbow
Monkeys on ice" show and beat us
Up for milk money.
"Sits in corner" has great
Anger at fourth graders for
Giving him atomic wedgie long
Ago.
But we kindergartners cannot
Hide from older kids forever.
We must make peace with them,
Trade yipper cards, and play
Together.
- ]] But... - ]] Silence!
"Mother dresses funny,"
"Still wets pants," release the
Fourth grader.
Thanks, pardners.
- ]] [ Grumbles ] - [ western music plays ]
There you are!
- ]] [ Thinking ] nice kids, those - kindergartners.
But they really cut into my
Schedule.
Now I've got just enough time to
Deliver the note and hopefully
Rustle up some victuals.
Hmm... Funny word, that.
Aah! Whoa!
[ Thinking ] building-block
Barricade... Old kindergartner
Trick, which can only mean...
Yeee!
I don't care what chief says!
"Sits in corner" will never
Trust older kids!
Well, well.
A kiddy-gartner.
And just in time for lunch.
So hand over your milk money
Before I give you an atomic
Wedgie, like I did last time.
Hee hee!
No!
- That's all my mommy gave me for - today.
I need my vitamin "d"!
Give it!
[ Whimpering ]
Thank you.
Now, beat it, shrimp.
[ Groans ]
I gots me some business with
Mr. Delivery boy here.
Give it back, runt.
[ Western music plays ]
Why the heck do you care?
He's just a lousy kiddy-gartner.
I said, give it back.
Oh, yeah?
Make me.
Ow!
[ Groans ]
Nice try, slowpoke.
Now, about that there note
You're delivering...
Oop!
[ Babbling ]
Today "sits in corner"
Realize that not all fourth
Graders are bad.
Much obliged, kid.
I just hate seeing a young'un
Lose his milk money to a bully.
No, you keep and... How you
Say? Rustle yourself up some
Victuals.
Well, I'd love to tell you a
Funny story about that word, but
I got a delivery to make.
See ya around, pardner.
[ Indistinct conversations ]
Afternoon, ladies.
Special delivery for
Muffy jenkins, courtesy of the
- Kids next... - The note!
Oh, my gosh!
Oh, my gosh!
I lost the note!
That's what I was trying to
Tell you, you idiot!
You left the president's office
Without it!
[ Laughs nervously ]
I-i thought I forgot something.
Yeah, your brain!
Of all the dangblasted,
No-good, useless polecats, I get
Stuck with...
Well, my work here is done.
Happy trails, ladies.
Like I said before, it's a
Lonely job, but somebody's got
To do it.
Maybe one day you'll need a note
Delivered, and if you do, you
Know who to call.
So, what's the note say,
Muffy?
- ]] [ Giggles ] - oh, nothing.
That egg-boy is so weird.
♪ Kids next door
♪ Kids next door
[ Electric guitar solo ]
♪ Kids next door
♪ Kids next door
♪ Kids next door
[ Electric guitar solo ]
♪ Kids next door
♪ Kids next door