03x15 - Awesome Ants

[bunniefuu]

[ Wind Whistling ]

[ Man ]
Viewer beware.

You're in for a scare.

Goosebumps.

Gross.

Thank you. Come again.
Can I help you?

Yes. Can I get a hot
fudge sundae, please?

And I'll have a cone of
pink bubble gum surprise.

- Uh-huh.
- Man, you always go for the sick flavors.

Life's too short
for boring ice cream, Ben.

You know, you're right.

Make that a butterscotch sundae with
double sprinkles and a cherry on top.

That's it, Ben.
Live on the edge.

What are you doing for
your science project?

Still waiting for inspiration.

Yeah, maybe it'll creep up on
you when you're not looking.

What if we tested the school
for signs of intelligent life?

Oh, gross!
Look at this!

How disgusting can you get?

- Uh, Ben--
- Hmm?

[ Yells ]

[ Yells ]

Hey!
What's your problem?

Hey, look at all those ants!

[ Ben Gasps ]
That's disgusting!

What are you looking at?

Y-Y-Your arm.

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming Continues ]

Are they all gone?
Are there any in my hair?

- Even if there are, the lice'll probably eat 'em.
- Very funny.

Oh, no, Dave!
Watch out!

- [ Horn Honking ]
- Oh, no!

Could you give me back my ant?

Blast!
Thing keeps falling off.

[ Grunts, Chuckles ]

Name is Lantz.

Trade is ants.

Nuke 'Em Pest Control.

I hear you got a nasty infestation.

- [ Laughs ]
- You sure got here quick.

Speed... is the best defense
against the crawling menace.

[ Laughs ] Actually,
my office is just down the street.

- Care to show me where it is, boys?
- Uh, you show him, Dave.

You gotta go get
your comic book anyway.

No, it's okay. I got tons
of comic books at my house.

Don't tell me you're afraid
of a few little ants.

- Us afraid?
- No! No.

'Cause we're a thousand times
bigger than them.

Don't underestimate the enemy.

[ Snarls ]

Move!

[ Chuckling ]

Oh, yeah!

Amazing creatures, aren't they?

Did you know that there are


[ Ben ] Yeah, and, like,
half of them are in this room!

Pound for pound, they have
the same biomass as humans.

[ Chuckling Continues ]

I love this part.

Hey, if things had been
a little bit different,

they'd be the dominant species
instead of us.

- That's my boys.
- Come on, Ben. Let's get outta here.

- Yeah.
- Shh! Don't move!

I found the nest.

[ Wheezing, Grunting ]

[ Sniffs ]

- No more hiding.
- This guy's weird.

And--
[ Grunting ]

[ Laughing, Muttering ]

Yeah. Ha!

[ Chuckling ]
If you eliminate the queen,

you destroy the nest.

[ Squishing ]

[ Groaning ]

Problem solved.

- [ Laughing ]
- Oh, that's it.

I'm gonna hurl.
[ Groans ]

You sure know your stuff,
don't ya?

First rule of pest control--
know your enemy.

And in a town as infested as this is, you'd
better learn something about the enemy too.

Here's the place to start.

- "Awesome Ants"?
- Designer ant habitat.

By mail.

They're the best in the business.

- I was trying to find a science project.
- Ahh.

Looks like that science project
found you.

[ Cackling ]

- Is that all you're eating?
- I'm not a breakfast person, Mom.

Andrea, that is
a complete waste of food.

- Complete waste of a life is more like it.
- Don't be mean, David.

- [ Andrea ] We have a delivery!
- I'll get it.

- Morning.
- That's weird.

I got a delivery here for a Dave Warren.

- That's me.
- Here you go.

"Awesome Ants"?
But I just sent away for this yesterday.

Sign there.

Where do you want the other box?

Other box?

I don't think I like this, Dave.

There must be some mistake. This is
just supposed to be an ant habitat.

Ant habitat? Looks like
they sent you a dairy farm.

- How much did this thing cost?
- Five bucks.

Well, they must have got your
order confused or something.

No, it says right here... "Mega-deluxe
model 'A' anthood." That's what I ordered.

Hey, be careful with that.

It's not like it's radioactive.

No, it's worse.

Ah. Here.
Instruction manual.

No way!
I have to read all this?

There can't be this much
to say about ants.

Hey, look at this.

"Awesome Ants food pellets.

Feed ants one pellet per day.
Do not overfeed."

Wait. If these guys
only need one pellet a day,

how come they walked off with whole
hamburgers at our last barbecue?

I don't know.
Better get this thing started.

- Yeah.
- We're late for school.

Home, sweet home.

As you can see here, they've
already started to build a hive.

Down here is the queen's nest,

and up here is the egg chamber.

Those are eggs?

Hey, you're just in time to
watch me feed them. Come on.

[ Crunching ]

- [ Ben Gasping ]
- Wow. Look at them swarm it.

[ Be ]
Hey, where'd it go?

They break it up in small pieces and
carry it in their mouths to the queen.

Oh, that's sick!

You know, I'll bet these guys
would appreciate some real food.

Um, you know, Ben,
I don't think we should do that.

It says right here that we can't
feed them anything but the pellets...

and only one pellet per day.

Well, it must be a misprint. How can
they survive on only one stupid pellet?

Here we go.
Nice and juicy.

Here you go, guys.

How 'bout some Cap'n Crawl
for breakfast?

[ Gasps ]

- No way! Did you see that?
- I told you they were hungry.

I guess you were right. I was
probably starving them to death.

- I'll bet they want another one.
- Wait. I've got a better idea.

These have been in the fridge
for days.

My mom's just gonna
throw 'em out anyway.

I can put this in my report, how they
respond to different food sources.

Sounds like a plan.

Here. Put one of these in while I time
to see how long it takes them to eat it.

[ Crunching ]

[ Ben Laughing ]
My brothers don't even eat that fast!

Awesome!

- Come on. Put another one in.
- Oh, yeah.

[ Dave ]
"Warning: Do not overfeed.

Overfeeding may lead to
rapid growth."

Maybe we shouldn't have fed them.

- [ Gasps ]
- Want a cookie? I just baked 'em.

Um-- No, thanks, Mom.

I-I think I'll pass.

Okay.
Suit yourself.

[ Squeaking ]

[ Mom Screaming ]
Oh, no!

Not the cabinets too!
David!

What is it, Mom?

- Wow! How'd these get in here?
- David, do something!

- What are you doing?
- As you can see, the ants have left the farm...

and made a foraging trail
into our kitchen.

- They sure have gotten big!
- David!

Mom, the best thing to do
is just leave 'em alone.

When they're done foraging,
they'll return to the nest.

Oh, sure. Easy for you to say.
[ Yelling ]

- [ Broom Pounding On Floor ]
- [ Mom Gasping, Yelling ]

Well, that's it. I'm moving
in with the neighbors.

I can't believe
they can grow so fast!

Amazing!

How'd that break?

[ Grunts ]

You guys
aren't gettin' out again.

In addition to being great builders, ants
also have an interesting family structure--

one mom and about a million kids.

In closing,
ants are truly awesome,

although most of the time
misunderstood.

Thank you.

[ Bell Ringing ]

[ Grunting, Humming ]

Hey. You can fool your teacher,
son, but you can't fool me.

What do you mean?

Ain't no worker ant bigger than
the denaperona grandis.

And they only get to be two inches.

In your video those ants
are three inches, at least.

They're fake, and you know it.

- They are not. They're real!
- Can't be.

'Cause if those ants were real,
we wouldn't be around for long.

Oh, no.

- Mom?
- Yeah?

What are we having for dinner?

Turkey.

[ Dial Tone ]

[ Punching Keys ]

[ Line Ringing ]

[ Woman ] Awesome Ants.
How may I help you?

Hi.
I've got a problem.

I've been feeding your ants hot dogs
and stuff, and now they're--

You didn't read the
instructions, did you?

You've gotta get out of
there right now, young man!

- Oh! [ Line Clicks ]
- Hello?

Hello?

[ Screeches ]

I've gotta do something.

There's no way he can hurt me.
I'm twice as big as him.

There's no way he can hurt me.
I'm twice as big as him.

- [ Squish ]
- [ Grunts ]

- [ Sighs ]
- [ Munching ]

[ Munching Continues ]

Mom! Andrea!

Mom! Andrea!

Anybody!

Mr. Lantz!

Mr. Lantz!
You've gotta help me!

Mr. Lantz?

No!

[ Gasps ]

[ Roaring ]

[ Roaring Continues ]

What am I gonna do?

- [ Roaring Continues ]
- Mr. Lantz?

Why did I have to overfeed them?

Help!

Can anybody hear me?

[ Roaring Continues ]

- [ Screaming ]
- [ Roaring Continues ]

Mr. Lantz!
[ Screaming Continues ]

Help! Mr. Lantz!
Help!

[ Screaming Continues ]

Stop! Mr. Lantz!

Stop!
[ Echoing ]

[ Knocking At Door ]

Dave, wake up
or you'll be late for school.

Oh, did you sleep
in your clothes again?

[ Door Closes ]

Man, that was a bad dream.

[ Tapping On Wall ]

It must have been a dream.

What's going on here?

It's called breakfast,
in case you forgot.

Huh?

Hey, don't be a pig! That's more
than I get in a whole week.

Andrea's right, Dave. This is
no time to start changing rations.

You put some of that back.

What the--

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't
get much sleep last night.

Had the weirdest dream.

[ Beeping ]

I'll get the shovel.

Don't just stand there, Dave!
Go on! Go get some buckets!

[ Truck Engine Idling ]

[ Shovels Scooping ]

[ Andrea ]
Come on, David! Hurry up!

- Let go!
- [ Chattering ]

- It's mine!
- Give it to me!

Ben!

Oh, hey, Dave. Catch you later.
I'm kinda busy right now.

[ Roaring ]

- I know what you're thinking.
- Mr. Lantz!

You're thinking if things had been
maybe just a little bit different,

we'd be the dominant
species instead of them.

I dreamt
that things were different,

and ants were so small you could
fit a thousand of them in one hand.

- And it was your job to k*ll them.
- [ Laughing ]

Don't let them
hear you say that.

It seemed so real,

I started to believe it myself.

Better gather some food
before it's all gone.

[ Roaring Continues ]