01x02 - New Roomies
Posted: 03/28/24 20:42
WOMAN: ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
♪ I'm just another kind
of girl ♪
♪ And you want to see
my world ♪
♪ So come and run away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ If you wanna play ♪
♪ Come and play today ♪
♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪
♪ I will make you see ♪
♪ All of the things ♪
♪ That you can be ♪
♪ Believe in yourself ♪
♪ Come follow me ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
ZOEY: Dear Mom and Dad,
I can't believe I've been
at PCA almost a whole week.
One of my roommates, Nicole,
she's already,
like, my best friend.
And the other girl, Dana,
she can be a little cranky.
But so far,
I'm loving it here at PCA.
Oh, and if you feel like
sending me a care package,
you can't go wrong
with candy or cash...
or candy and cash.
Love, Zoey.
[computer beeps]
- Hey, Zoey.
- Shh.
- [snoring]
- Don't worry.
She sleeps like she's dead.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna go brush my teeth.
- Don't forget to floss.
- Yeah, right.
[door closes]
[hair drying whirring loudly]
- [gasps]
Hey!
- You woke me up. Again.
- So? You gotta be in class
by 8:00.
- Which is why I set
my alarm clock for 7:55.
Nighty night.
[hair dryer blowing]
Turn it off!
Now put it away.
- Make me.
- [scoffs]
- Ah!
Not another step.
- Okay, what are you gonna do?
Blow-dry me?
- If I have to.
- [grunts]
[Nicole shrieking]
[indistinct shouting]
- Zoey, your roommates
are fighting again.
- Oh, man.
DANA: Hey, get away--
[Nicole shrieks]
- Come here.
- Stop!
I'm gonna call the cops
on you.
- Good. Call them.
- Slob!
- Hair freak!
- Leave me alone!
- Nicole!
- Don't touch me!
[Nicole shrieks]
- Open up!
- Who is it?
- [grunts]
Come on!
[knock on door]
ZOEY: Open up.
Nicole! Dana!
- Where's your key?
- I forgot it.
- Again.
- Where's Nicole?
What, I can't brush my teeth
for five minutes
without you two trying
to bludgeon each other?
- She started it.
- No!
I was trying to sleep,
and once again, she fired up
her freakish hair dryer
at 7 a.m.
- If I don't dry my hair,
it'll frizz!
- Name three people who care.
- Girls!
- Will you tell your friend
that waking me up every morning
is inconsiderate?
- No.
- I'm inconsiderate?
You're the bad roommate!
Look at your messy bed!
- Ladies!
- It's my bed.
- It's my head.
ZOEY: Hey!
We are roommates!
We're gonna have to learn
to get along, okay?
- Yeah.
- I guess.
Okay, that does it.
[Nicole shrieks]
- I had to go to
boarding school.
[Nicole shrieks]
- So who usually starts it?
Nicole or Dana?
- They take turns.
They fight over everything.
- Bummer.
Ooh, mac and cheese?
- Nah. Too carby.
- Ah, a girl who eats healthy.
That's cool. Very cool.
You know, cool for you.
- I just wish Nicole and Dana
would get along.
I can't deal with the tension.
- Well, hey, I got an idea.
- Tell me.
- Why don't we hang out
together tonight?
- You and me?
- Me and you.
You know, just to take a break
from your roommates.
We could play foosball,
you know, if you like foosball.
Do girls like foosball?
'Cause if you don't,
we could, like, knit or--
- I like foosball.
- Yeah. Foosball's cool.
So tonight?
- I can't.
I gotta make sure
Nicole and Dana don't k*ll
each other.
- Yup. PCA's got a strict rule
against k*lling.
So, uh, anyway,
maybe Friday, we could--
- Zoey, I've been looking
all over for you.
- Hi! Chase, you've met
my little brother Dustin.
- Yeah. The kid's got
great timing.
- What's up?
- I need money.
- Why?
What happened to your allowance?
- I, uh...
used it for an emergency.
Five pounds of gummy worms,
please.
- You spent your whole allowance
on gummy worms?
- It's a sickness, okay?
Just lend me a few bucks
till next week.
- I can't. I only get 15.
And I gotta live.
- How about you?
- Sorry, dude.
If I had money,
I'd lend it to myself,
but I don't.
So I'm out of luck,
which means you are too.
- What did he say?
- No.
- Well, what am I supposed
to do for cash?
ZOEY: I don't know.
Figure out a way to earn some.
- That's good! Later!
- Cute kid.
- Yeah.
- Hey, speaking
of freakish roommates.
- Save me.
- From what?
- That.
- That's Quinn.
She lives in my dorm.
- Yeah. Well, you know, I saw
her having lunch by herself,
so I sat down next to her.
You know, being friendly
and all.
- And?
- She started feeling my food.
- What do you mean feeling it?
- I mean...
feeling it.
- Well, that's just weird.
- You think?
- Oh, I feel sorry for her.
She's always by herself.
Come on.
- Come on where?
- Let's go talk to her.
- Ha!
You guys go.
My food's been felt up enough.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Um, may I feel your food?
- Um, why?
- I'm working on a theory.
- Which is?
- Every food has its own
distinct energy,
almost like emotions,
which can be better identified
through touch
as opposed to taste or smell.
- So you want to feel
if my food is happy?
- Or sad, worried, frightened.
- I'm frightened.
- So, Quinn, why do you
always hang out by yourself?
- Well, I have a theory.
- I guess 'cause I just haven't
really made any friends yet.
- What about your roommates?
- I live alone.
- Why?
What's wrong with you--
You so pretty, Quinn.
Pretty, pretty Quinn.
- Um, thanks.
- Well, if you ever
want company, I mean,
you can hang with me
and my roommates sometime.
- Aren't they the ones
always screaming at each other?
- Good point.
Maybe just me and you
should hang out, then.
- Really?
- Sure. Why not?
- Thanks.
- Don't touch my salad.
- Don't do it.
[Nicole and Dana arguing]
- Again?
Dana? Nicole?
Hey, can you two stop fighting
long enough to let me in?
Please?
- Zoey, please tell Dana
to clean up her area.
It's disgusting.
- And tell her
not to blow-dry her hair
when I'm trying to study.
- Okay, if I don't re-blow
my hair periodically,
it gets all frizzy.
- So?
- So I can't let boys see me
with frizzy hair.
They'll make up cruel
nicknames for me,
like "girl with frizzy hair"
or--I don't know--
Miss Frizzy.
Wait, that sounds cute.
- You're not gonna look cute
with a black eye.
- Stop it!
You know what, Dana?
You are a slob.
And, Nicole, it's rude of you
to blow your stupid hair dryer
when people need quiet.
- Well.
- [scoffs] Well.
- I guess the perfect roommate
has spoken.
- I didn't say I was perfect.
- Well, good, 'cause you're not.
- Yeah, you bug us too,
sometimes.
- Oh, really? Like how?
- Well, you know...
- You can never remember
your key!
- Yes!
Like always forgetting your key.
- So?
- So it's annoying
to have to let you in
all the time.
- Oh, come on!
- It is.
"Ooh, I'm Zoey,
and I forgot my key again."
- Yeah. "I'm also Zoey.
Open the door.
I'm locked out."
Blah blah blah.
- Okay, well, if I'm such
a horrible roommate,
then maybe I should move out!
- Maybe you should!
- Fine! I'll be back
for my stuff later.
- Fine!
- Fine!
- Ugh!
- Ugh!
[knock on door]
- Forgot my key.
- Zoey.
- Want a roommate?
Thanks for letting me
crash here.
- Hey, I'm glad to have
the company.
- Night.
- Nighty night.
[beeping]
- [screams]
Quinn!
- Yeah?
- What are you doing?
- Monitoring your dreams.
I think you might be
having a nightmare.
- I am now!
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
- Good morning, Zoey!
- Morning.
Um, why are you jumping rope?
- 'Cause jumping rope
makes your brain vibrate,
which I enjoy.
You want to try?
- Nah, I'm not much of
a morning jumper.
What's this?
- That's a project
I'm working on.
It's a silent leaf blower.
- Silent leaf blower?
- It's one of my Quinventions.
See, my name is Quinn
and I invent things,
so I call them "Quinventions."
- That's very...
Quinteresting.
Well, I'm gonna go take a shower
and then probably get some food
at the Caf.
- Oh, you don't need to do that.
I can make us breakfast
right here.
You like eggs?
- Yeah.
[chicken clucks]
- Scrambled or sunny side up?
- Uh...you know what?
I'm probably just gonna
skip breakfast.
- Okay. But meet me back here
at 6:00 for dinner.
I'm making chicken.
- Well, look who it is,
our former roommate.
- Hello, Dana.
Hello, Nicole.
- I hear you moved in with
Quinn.
- That's right.
- That must be fun.
- Quinn happens to be
the perfect roommate.
- Zoey, I'm about to iron
my underwear.
Want me to do yours?
- Um, I don't iron my underwear.
- Whatever.
- Yeah.
She's a good one.
- Well, at least we don't fight
all the time.
- [scoffs] Neither do we.
- Yeah!
Since you moved out,
we've been getting along great.
- Best friends.
- Well, good for you.
Bye.
- See ya.
- Later.
Never touch me again.
- Slob.
- Jerk.
- Uhh!
- She attached wires
to your head?
- Yes. And other places.
- Wow.
Uh, maybe you should move
back in with Dana and Nicole.
Bet you they miss you.
- No, they don't want me back.
Guess I'm stuck with Quinn
and her Quinventions.
- Quinventions?
- Yeah.
She combined her name
with the word "invention."
- Ah, so she's Quinsane.
- Exactly.
Hey, you want to see
a movie this Friday night?
- Me? Uh, sure.
Totally.
- Cool 'cause
I just need to hang
with a normal friend
for a while.
- Hey, normal's my middle name.
Well, actually,
it's Bartholomew.
Don't tell people.
- Whoa!
Look at that huge hamster!
- What?
- Ha! You lose.
- You know, one day
there really is gonna be
a huge hamster behind me
and I'm not gonna look.
And you're gonna
be really sorry.
Come on, rematch.
- Can't.
Gotta go to class.
See ya.
- Later.
- Dustin?
- Oh, hey, Zoe.
- What are you doing?
- Trying to make some money.
- "Learn Spanish
with Senorita Dustin"?
You're gonna make money
by tutoring people in Spanish?
- Cool idea, huh?
- Yeah, except you don't
speak Spanish.
- But I'm learning.
[woman on TV speaking Spanish]
[slap, man grunts]
¿Por que, Rosalita?
¿Por que?
- Okay. Heh. Well, good luck.
By the way, "Senorita" Dustin
means you're a girl.
- [muttering in Spanish]
- Okay, besides Hawaii
and California,
name three states
that border an ocean.
- Uh, let's see...
Don't know, not sure,
and just don't care.
- Look, man, do you want
to study or watch TV?
- Watch TV.
- Yup, me too.
What's up, Chase?
- Oh, hey. What's up, guys?
- One over here.
- Hey, you going with us
to the game on Friday night?
- No, I can't. I'm catching
a movie on campus.
- Who with?
- Zoey.
- Oh, your little girlfriend.
- Dude, she's not my girlfriend.
I'm just hanging out with her
'cause she's fighting
with her roommates.
- Oh, that's bad.
- No, that's good.
- Why good?
- 'Cause, dude,
if she's fighting with them,
she'll have more time
to hang with you.
- Dude, that's sick.
Who thinks like that?
- You know you like her.
- Look, Zoey's my friend.
- Well, if you want to keep
hanging with your friend,
you better make sure she keeps
fighting with her roommates.
- Will you stop?
- 'Cause the second
she makes up with them,
it's bye-bye, Chase.
You know I'm right.
- Last night
while I was sleeping,
Quinn snipped off
some of my hair.
- Why?
- She wanted my DNA.
- For what?
- I was afraid to ask.
I gotta make up
with Nicole and Dana.
- Yeah, you know, maybe
that's not such a good idea.
- Why not?
- Well, you--you know,
maybe you should just let
the situation
simmer for a bit...
You know, until Friday...
night,
after we see the movie.
- I can't wait till Friday.
Quinn scares me.
- Oh, come on.
She can't be that freaky.
[percussive music]
♪ ♪
- Excellent.
- So she melted some meat.
It's not that weird.
- It's completely weird.
I gotta tell Quinn
I'm moving out.
- No, no, no, no.
Don't, don't, don't.
- Why not?
- Because...
Quinn doesn't have
a lot of friends
and you could hurt her feelings.
- You think?
CHASE: Oh, yeah.
You can't just look a girl
in the face
and say, "I don't want
to live with you anymore."
- Zoey, I don't want to live
with you anymore.
- Huh?
- I'm gonna have to ask you
to move out.
- Okay, you're kidding me,
right?
- I wish I were.
- Why do you want me
to move out?
- Because you get very uptight
whenever I try to work
on my experiments.
- I don't believe this.
- I just think that it'd be best
for our friendship
if you moved back in
with Nicole and Dana.
- Okay, I'll pack my stuff.
- Hey, before you go,
would you drink this
and tell me
if it makes your tongue throb?
[liquid fizzing]
- Uh, no.
- Mmm.
- Just say,
"El elefante es grande."
- I've already said that
ten times!
Can you teach me
something else already?
- Uh...
El elefante es grande.
- You know what?
I think that's
the only Spanish you know.
I'm getting me a new tutor.
Adios.
- ¿Por que, Mark?
¿Por que?
- I want my cuatro dollars back!
[soft music]
WOMAN: ♪ And it's
a little bit lonely... ♪
- You can sit here...
If you want.
I don't care.
- Okay.
Want a grape?
- I miss you!
- I miss you too!
- Oh!
- Oh!
- Please move back in with us.
- Okay!
- Yay! Dana, Zoey's moving
back in with us!
- Oh. Can she remember her key?
- Can you not be such a slob?
- Can you lay off
your hair dryer?
- You're such a messy roommate!
- You're the one who starts it.
- No, you do!
- Guys!
I have ideas.
Dear Mom and Dad,
it's been another great week
here at PCA.
Things got a little crazy
with me and my roommates,
but I think we got it
under control.
Hey, have you ever heard
of a silent leaf blower?
[chuckles] I have.
Gotta go. Write me back.
Love, Zoey.
- No frizz.
- No noise.
Come on, let's go get
some coffee.
- Should we wake her up
and see if she wants to go?
- Nah. Let her sleep.
- Man, what a slob.
- Yeah. Shall we?
- Let's.
- Nice!
- Come on.
- Wait. Got your key?
- Always.
- Cute!
I want one!
- Hey, you got a leaf blower.
- [laughs]
[piano music]
♪ ♪
- What's up, Chase?
- Uh, hey.
Um...
- Who's the rose for?
- Oh, what, this?
Um...
All right, you caught me.
It's for you.
- Thanks.
But why don't you give it
to Zoey instead?
- Hey, there's an idea.
Look, don't tell Logan,
all right?
- No worries, man.
Hey, good luck.
- Later.
- Chase.
- Hey. Wow...
You, uh--you look great.
- Thanks.
- I, uh--I got you something.
DANA: Hey.
NICOLE: Hey.
Sorry we're late.
- What time does the movie
start?
- Um, 7:30.
Weren't you guys fighting?
- We made up.
- Yeah.
So I invited them
to the movie.
That's cool, right?
- Oh, yeah. Sure.
Very cool.
- Well, then, let's go.
I hate to miss
the beginning of a movie.
- I get the aisle seat.
- No, I get the aisle seat.
- You always get the aisle seat!
- No, I don't. You do!
- You do!
- No, you do!
- You know, I think
they're happiest
when they're arguing.
- Yeah.
- ♪ I got the gummy worm blues ♪
- Isn't that
your little brother?
- Yeah.
- ♪ Can't afford to buy shoes ♪
- What's he doing?
- ♪ Life can be so mean ♪
♪ I gotta get me some green ♪
- Dustin, what are you doing?
- Making some money.
♪ ♪
Bless you.
♪ ♪
♪ I got the gummy worm blues ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I can't afford to buy shoes ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Life can be so mean ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I gotta get me some green ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I'm feelin' down on my luck ♪
♪ Could use a couple of bucks ♪
♪ I got the gummy, gummy,
gummy worm blues... ♪
♪ Just gotta let it loose ♪
♪ And do what you choose
to do ♪
♪ Don't walk away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ If you wanna play,
come and play today ♪
♪ Let's just get away ♪
[ding]
MAN: Mmm.
DUSTIN: It's a sickness, okay?
♪ I'm just another kind
of girl ♪
♪ And you want to see
my world ♪
♪ So come and run away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ If you wanna play ♪
♪ Come and play today ♪
♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪
♪ I will make you see ♪
♪ All of the things ♪
♪ That you can be ♪
♪ Believe in yourself ♪
♪ Come follow me ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
ZOEY: Dear Mom and Dad,
I can't believe I've been
at PCA almost a whole week.
One of my roommates, Nicole,
she's already,
like, my best friend.
And the other girl, Dana,
she can be a little cranky.
But so far,
I'm loving it here at PCA.
Oh, and if you feel like
sending me a care package,
you can't go wrong
with candy or cash...
or candy and cash.
Love, Zoey.
[computer beeps]
- Hey, Zoey.
- Shh.
- [snoring]
- Don't worry.
She sleeps like she's dead.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna go brush my teeth.
- Don't forget to floss.
- Yeah, right.
[door closes]
[hair drying whirring loudly]
- [gasps]
Hey!
- You woke me up. Again.
- So? You gotta be in class
by 8:00.
- Which is why I set
my alarm clock for 7:55.
Nighty night.
[hair dryer blowing]
Turn it off!
Now put it away.
- Make me.
- [scoffs]
- Ah!
Not another step.
- Okay, what are you gonna do?
Blow-dry me?
- If I have to.
- [grunts]
[Nicole shrieking]
[indistinct shouting]
- Zoey, your roommates
are fighting again.
- Oh, man.
DANA: Hey, get away--
[Nicole shrieks]
- Come here.
- Stop!
I'm gonna call the cops
on you.
- Good. Call them.
- Slob!
- Hair freak!
- Leave me alone!
- Nicole!
- Don't touch me!
[Nicole shrieks]
- Open up!
- Who is it?
- [grunts]
Come on!
[knock on door]
ZOEY: Open up.
Nicole! Dana!
- Where's your key?
- I forgot it.
- Again.
- Where's Nicole?
What, I can't brush my teeth
for five minutes
without you two trying
to bludgeon each other?
- She started it.
- No!
I was trying to sleep,
and once again, she fired up
her freakish hair dryer
at 7 a.m.
- If I don't dry my hair,
it'll frizz!
- Name three people who care.
- Girls!
- Will you tell your friend
that waking me up every morning
is inconsiderate?
- No.
- I'm inconsiderate?
You're the bad roommate!
Look at your messy bed!
- Ladies!
- It's my bed.
- It's my head.
ZOEY: Hey!
We are roommates!
We're gonna have to learn
to get along, okay?
- Yeah.
- I guess.
Okay, that does it.
[Nicole shrieks]
- I had to go to
boarding school.
[Nicole shrieks]
- So who usually starts it?
Nicole or Dana?
- They take turns.
They fight over everything.
- Bummer.
Ooh, mac and cheese?
- Nah. Too carby.
- Ah, a girl who eats healthy.
That's cool. Very cool.
You know, cool for you.
- I just wish Nicole and Dana
would get along.
I can't deal with the tension.
- Well, hey, I got an idea.
- Tell me.
- Why don't we hang out
together tonight?
- You and me?
- Me and you.
You know, just to take a break
from your roommates.
We could play foosball,
you know, if you like foosball.
Do girls like foosball?
'Cause if you don't,
we could, like, knit or--
- I like foosball.
- Yeah. Foosball's cool.
So tonight?
- I can't.
I gotta make sure
Nicole and Dana don't k*ll
each other.
- Yup. PCA's got a strict rule
against k*lling.
So, uh, anyway,
maybe Friday, we could--
- Zoey, I've been looking
all over for you.
- Hi! Chase, you've met
my little brother Dustin.
- Yeah. The kid's got
great timing.
- What's up?
- I need money.
- Why?
What happened to your allowance?
- I, uh...
used it for an emergency.
Five pounds of gummy worms,
please.
- You spent your whole allowance
on gummy worms?
- It's a sickness, okay?
Just lend me a few bucks
till next week.
- I can't. I only get 15.
And I gotta live.
- How about you?
- Sorry, dude.
If I had money,
I'd lend it to myself,
but I don't.
So I'm out of luck,
which means you are too.
- What did he say?
- No.
- Well, what am I supposed
to do for cash?
ZOEY: I don't know.
Figure out a way to earn some.
- That's good! Later!
- Cute kid.
- Yeah.
- Hey, speaking
of freakish roommates.
- Save me.
- From what?
- That.
- That's Quinn.
She lives in my dorm.
- Yeah. Well, you know, I saw
her having lunch by herself,
so I sat down next to her.
You know, being friendly
and all.
- And?
- She started feeling my food.
- What do you mean feeling it?
- I mean...
feeling it.
- Well, that's just weird.
- You think?
- Oh, I feel sorry for her.
She's always by herself.
Come on.
- Come on where?
- Let's go talk to her.
- Ha!
You guys go.
My food's been felt up enough.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Um, may I feel your food?
- Um, why?
- I'm working on a theory.
- Which is?
- Every food has its own
distinct energy,
almost like emotions,
which can be better identified
through touch
as opposed to taste or smell.
- So you want to feel
if my food is happy?
- Or sad, worried, frightened.
- I'm frightened.
- So, Quinn, why do you
always hang out by yourself?
- Well, I have a theory.
- I guess 'cause I just haven't
really made any friends yet.
- What about your roommates?
- I live alone.
- Why?
What's wrong with you--
You so pretty, Quinn.
Pretty, pretty Quinn.
- Um, thanks.
- Well, if you ever
want company, I mean,
you can hang with me
and my roommates sometime.
- Aren't they the ones
always screaming at each other?
- Good point.
Maybe just me and you
should hang out, then.
- Really?
- Sure. Why not?
- Thanks.
- Don't touch my salad.
- Don't do it.
[Nicole and Dana arguing]
- Again?
Dana? Nicole?
Hey, can you two stop fighting
long enough to let me in?
Please?
- Zoey, please tell Dana
to clean up her area.
It's disgusting.
- And tell her
not to blow-dry her hair
when I'm trying to study.
- Okay, if I don't re-blow
my hair periodically,
it gets all frizzy.
- So?
- So I can't let boys see me
with frizzy hair.
They'll make up cruel
nicknames for me,
like "girl with frizzy hair"
or--I don't know--
Miss Frizzy.
Wait, that sounds cute.
- You're not gonna look cute
with a black eye.
- Stop it!
You know what, Dana?
You are a slob.
And, Nicole, it's rude of you
to blow your stupid hair dryer
when people need quiet.
- Well.
- [scoffs] Well.
- I guess the perfect roommate
has spoken.
- I didn't say I was perfect.
- Well, good, 'cause you're not.
- Yeah, you bug us too,
sometimes.
- Oh, really? Like how?
- Well, you know...
- You can never remember
your key!
- Yes!
Like always forgetting your key.
- So?
- So it's annoying
to have to let you in
all the time.
- Oh, come on!
- It is.
"Ooh, I'm Zoey,
and I forgot my key again."
- Yeah. "I'm also Zoey.
Open the door.
I'm locked out."
Blah blah blah.
- Okay, well, if I'm such
a horrible roommate,
then maybe I should move out!
- Maybe you should!
- Fine! I'll be back
for my stuff later.
- Fine!
- Fine!
- Ugh!
- Ugh!
[knock on door]
- Forgot my key.
- Zoey.
- Want a roommate?
Thanks for letting me
crash here.
- Hey, I'm glad to have
the company.
- Night.
- Nighty night.
[beeping]
- [screams]
Quinn!
- Yeah?
- What are you doing?
- Monitoring your dreams.
I think you might be
having a nightmare.
- I am now!
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
- Good morning, Zoey!
- Morning.
Um, why are you jumping rope?
- 'Cause jumping rope
makes your brain vibrate,
which I enjoy.
You want to try?
- Nah, I'm not much of
a morning jumper.
What's this?
- That's a project
I'm working on.
It's a silent leaf blower.
- Silent leaf blower?
- It's one of my Quinventions.
See, my name is Quinn
and I invent things,
so I call them "Quinventions."
- That's very...
Quinteresting.
Well, I'm gonna go take a shower
and then probably get some food
at the Caf.
- Oh, you don't need to do that.
I can make us breakfast
right here.
You like eggs?
- Yeah.
[chicken clucks]
- Scrambled or sunny side up?
- Uh...you know what?
I'm probably just gonna
skip breakfast.
- Okay. But meet me back here
at 6:00 for dinner.
I'm making chicken.
- Well, look who it is,
our former roommate.
- Hello, Dana.
Hello, Nicole.
- I hear you moved in with
Quinn.
- That's right.
- That must be fun.
- Quinn happens to be
the perfect roommate.
- Zoey, I'm about to iron
my underwear.
Want me to do yours?
- Um, I don't iron my underwear.
- Whatever.
- Yeah.
She's a good one.
- Well, at least we don't fight
all the time.
- [scoffs] Neither do we.
- Yeah!
Since you moved out,
we've been getting along great.
- Best friends.
- Well, good for you.
Bye.
- See ya.
- Later.
Never touch me again.
- Slob.
- Jerk.
- Uhh!
- She attached wires
to your head?
- Yes. And other places.
- Wow.
Uh, maybe you should move
back in with Dana and Nicole.
Bet you they miss you.
- No, they don't want me back.
Guess I'm stuck with Quinn
and her Quinventions.
- Quinventions?
- Yeah.
She combined her name
with the word "invention."
- Ah, so she's Quinsane.
- Exactly.
Hey, you want to see
a movie this Friday night?
- Me? Uh, sure.
Totally.
- Cool 'cause
I just need to hang
with a normal friend
for a while.
- Hey, normal's my middle name.
Well, actually,
it's Bartholomew.
Don't tell people.
- Whoa!
Look at that huge hamster!
- What?
- Ha! You lose.
- You know, one day
there really is gonna be
a huge hamster behind me
and I'm not gonna look.
And you're gonna
be really sorry.
Come on, rematch.
- Can't.
Gotta go to class.
See ya.
- Later.
- Dustin?
- Oh, hey, Zoe.
- What are you doing?
- Trying to make some money.
- "Learn Spanish
with Senorita Dustin"?
You're gonna make money
by tutoring people in Spanish?
- Cool idea, huh?
- Yeah, except you don't
speak Spanish.
- But I'm learning.
[woman on TV speaking Spanish]
[slap, man grunts]
¿Por que, Rosalita?
¿Por que?
- Okay. Heh. Well, good luck.
By the way, "Senorita" Dustin
means you're a girl.
- [muttering in Spanish]
- Okay, besides Hawaii
and California,
name three states
that border an ocean.
- Uh, let's see...
Don't know, not sure,
and just don't care.
- Look, man, do you want
to study or watch TV?
- Watch TV.
- Yup, me too.
What's up, Chase?
- Oh, hey. What's up, guys?
- One over here.
- Hey, you going with us
to the game on Friday night?
- No, I can't. I'm catching
a movie on campus.
- Who with?
- Zoey.
- Oh, your little girlfriend.
- Dude, she's not my girlfriend.
I'm just hanging out with her
'cause she's fighting
with her roommates.
- Oh, that's bad.
- No, that's good.
- Why good?
- 'Cause, dude,
if she's fighting with them,
she'll have more time
to hang with you.
- Dude, that's sick.
Who thinks like that?
- You know you like her.
- Look, Zoey's my friend.
- Well, if you want to keep
hanging with your friend,
you better make sure she keeps
fighting with her roommates.
- Will you stop?
- 'Cause the second
she makes up with them,
it's bye-bye, Chase.
You know I'm right.
- Last night
while I was sleeping,
Quinn snipped off
some of my hair.
- Why?
- She wanted my DNA.
- For what?
- I was afraid to ask.
I gotta make up
with Nicole and Dana.
- Yeah, you know, maybe
that's not such a good idea.
- Why not?
- Well, you--you know,
maybe you should just let
the situation
simmer for a bit...
You know, until Friday...
night,
after we see the movie.
- I can't wait till Friday.
Quinn scares me.
- Oh, come on.
She can't be that freaky.
[percussive music]
♪ ♪
- Excellent.
- So she melted some meat.
It's not that weird.
- It's completely weird.
I gotta tell Quinn
I'm moving out.
- No, no, no, no.
Don't, don't, don't.
- Why not?
- Because...
Quinn doesn't have
a lot of friends
and you could hurt her feelings.
- You think?
CHASE: Oh, yeah.
You can't just look a girl
in the face
and say, "I don't want
to live with you anymore."
- Zoey, I don't want to live
with you anymore.
- Huh?
- I'm gonna have to ask you
to move out.
- Okay, you're kidding me,
right?
- I wish I were.
- Why do you want me
to move out?
- Because you get very uptight
whenever I try to work
on my experiments.
- I don't believe this.
- I just think that it'd be best
for our friendship
if you moved back in
with Nicole and Dana.
- Okay, I'll pack my stuff.
- Hey, before you go,
would you drink this
and tell me
if it makes your tongue throb?
[liquid fizzing]
- Uh, no.
- Mmm.
- Just say,
"El elefante es grande."
- I've already said that
ten times!
Can you teach me
something else already?
- Uh...
El elefante es grande.
- You know what?
I think that's
the only Spanish you know.
I'm getting me a new tutor.
Adios.
- ¿Por que, Mark?
¿Por que?
- I want my cuatro dollars back!
[soft music]
WOMAN: ♪ And it's
a little bit lonely... ♪
- You can sit here...
If you want.
I don't care.
- Okay.
Want a grape?
- I miss you!
- I miss you too!
- Oh!
- Oh!
- Please move back in with us.
- Okay!
- Yay! Dana, Zoey's moving
back in with us!
- Oh. Can she remember her key?
- Can you not be such a slob?
- Can you lay off
your hair dryer?
- You're such a messy roommate!
- You're the one who starts it.
- No, you do!
- Guys!
I have ideas.
Dear Mom and Dad,
it's been another great week
here at PCA.
Things got a little crazy
with me and my roommates,
but I think we got it
under control.
Hey, have you ever heard
of a silent leaf blower?
[chuckles] I have.
Gotta go. Write me back.
Love, Zoey.
- No frizz.
- No noise.
Come on, let's go get
some coffee.
- Should we wake her up
and see if she wants to go?
- Nah. Let her sleep.
- Man, what a slob.
- Yeah. Shall we?
- Let's.
- Nice!
- Come on.
- Wait. Got your key?
- Always.
- Cute!
I want one!
- Hey, you got a leaf blower.
- [laughs]
[piano music]
♪ ♪
- What's up, Chase?
- Uh, hey.
Um...
- Who's the rose for?
- Oh, what, this?
Um...
All right, you caught me.
It's for you.
- Thanks.
But why don't you give it
to Zoey instead?
- Hey, there's an idea.
Look, don't tell Logan,
all right?
- No worries, man.
Hey, good luck.
- Later.
- Chase.
- Hey. Wow...
You, uh--you look great.
- Thanks.
- I, uh--I got you something.
DANA: Hey.
NICOLE: Hey.
Sorry we're late.
- What time does the movie
start?
- Um, 7:30.
Weren't you guys fighting?
- We made up.
- Yeah.
So I invited them
to the movie.
That's cool, right?
- Oh, yeah. Sure.
Very cool.
- Well, then, let's go.
I hate to miss
the beginning of a movie.
- I get the aisle seat.
- No, I get the aisle seat.
- You always get the aisle seat!
- No, I don't. You do!
- You do!
- No, you do!
- You know, I think
they're happiest
when they're arguing.
- Yeah.
- ♪ I got the gummy worm blues ♪
- Isn't that
your little brother?
- Yeah.
- ♪ Can't afford to buy shoes ♪
- What's he doing?
- ♪ Life can be so mean ♪
♪ I gotta get me some green ♪
- Dustin, what are you doing?
- Making some money.
♪ ♪
Bless you.
♪ ♪
♪ I got the gummy worm blues ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I can't afford to buy shoes ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Life can be so mean ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I gotta get me some green ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I'm feelin' down on my luck ♪
♪ Could use a couple of bucks ♪
♪ I got the gummy, gummy,
gummy worm blues... ♪
♪ Just gotta let it loose ♪
♪ And do what you choose
to do ♪
♪ Don't walk away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ If you wanna play,
come and play today ♪
♪ Let's just get away ♪
[ding]
MAN: Mmm.
DUSTIN: It's a sickness, okay?