01x18 - The Fright Before Creepmas

[bunniefuu]

[GHOSTLY VOCALIZING]

[RAP b*at PLAYING]

[HARD ROCK PLAYING]

[SCREAMING]

♪

DRACULA: Ah, welcome to
Creepmas at my monster hotel.

I'm your host, Dracula,
as I'm sure you can tell.

But this holiday tale
is not about me.

I'm stuck at vampire council,
missing Mavy-wavy.

And right now, it appears
a scary yarn's being spun

because a fright before
Creepmas is all part
of the fun.

[TEETH CHATTERING]

MAVIS: And he only comes
when you're dead asleep.

Driving slowly down
your street.

[MAKING BRAKES SCREECHING SOUND]

Then, just when things
couldn't possibly

get any more terrifying,

Krampus pulls out his cannon and
blasts presents under the tree!

I love Creepmas!
Yeah!

Dude,
Krampus is the perfect

Creepmas monster.
Super scary,

but he brings presents,
so he's super cool, too!

You did great taking
over for your dad,

telling the Krampus story
this year, Mavis.

He'd be totally proud.

Thanks, Wendy.
But without Dad here,

Creepmas is sort
of bittersweet.

Don't worry, Mavis.
We're gonna party so hardy,

you won't even notice
Drac isn't here.
[CHUCKLES]

Uh, about that...

You know how Aunt Lydia
feels about decorations

and Creepmas,
and pretty much
fun in general.

Oh, come on.

Fine. But we've got
to be inconspicuous.

Low-key is my specialty.

DRACULA:
So, the g*ng set to work
on a Creepmas display,

but it turned out "low-key"
was not Pedro's forte.

[CRASHING]

And with only a handful
of trimmings in place,

Aunt Lydia arrived with
a scowl on her face.

What is the meaning of this?

Aunt Lydia! Hi!
So glad you're here!

We thought, since there's only
one night 'til Creepmas,

it'd be cool to put up
just a few decorations?

Bah humbug.

[HUMMING]

[ROARING]

[GASPING]

But, Aunt Lydia, every year,

Dad and I go crazy

decorating and
baking and...

AUNT LYDIA: I realize
your father is something of
a Creepmas enthusiast.

But I am in charge
this year,

and if I see even one more hint
of Creepmas in this hotel...

Uh-oh!

[SCREAMING]

[GROWLING]

Aunt Lydia, no!
The m*ssile toes!

[GROWLING]

That's it.
Creepmas is canceled!

Um, Scary Creepmas?

DRACULA:
And though she'd
seen it each year,

now Mavis wanted a reason

to explain her Aunt's loathing
of the whole Creepmas season.

What kind of monster thinks
she can just cancel Creepmas?

This stinks!

It's sad to see, really.
When she was little,

Lydia used to love Creepmas
more than any monster.

Yeah, that makes sense.
She used to... Wait, what?

You're saying my Aunt Lydia,

the Dark Baroness,
loved Creepmas?

MALE VOICE: [ON TV]
Danger, danger.

[PAC-MAN DEATH NOISE SOUNDING]
Whoo-hoo!

Aw, come on!
I wasn't looking!

[LAUGHING]
Exactly!

Thanks for the early
Creepmas present, Mavis!

Uncle Gene, are you serious?

Sure, I'm serious!
Lydia was kooky for Creepmas!

She worshipped Krampus!
Once, she even visited him!

Most monsters, of course,

are too afraid
to actually meet Krampus,

writing letters instead,

so he knows what
to fire under the tree.

[LAUGHING]
Only the most
die-hard Creepmas fans

dare make the long, dangerous
trip through the underworld

to deliver their wishes
in person,

and then be bowled
down Krampus Mountain,

as is tradition.

When it was Lydia's turn,

her terrifying trip
became worth it.

The highlight of her young,
40-year-old afterlife

was when she asked
or the only toy she'd
ever wanted...

My First Mace.

She even gave Krampus
a picture, so he wouldn't
get confused.

But then, Lydia noticed
something was off.

Instead of bowling her out
like the other kids,

Krampus just smiled
and sent Lydia on her way.

And so, that Creepmas night,

Lydia crept out of her coffin

to see what Krampus
had sh*t under the tree.

Lydia found...

A shiny jingle bell!

[LYDIA SOBBING]

It was the first
and last Creepmas gift

your Aunt ever asked for.

That is the
saddest thing ever!

No wonder she doesn't
like Creepmas!

But it does give me an idea.

You guys thinking
what I'm thinking?

Uh, that we should be
thankful we're dead

to enjoy Creepmas at all and not
meddle in Lydia's affairs?

Exactly!
We gotta go see Krampus

so we can tell him how
he totally blew it

with Aunt Lydia's
only Creepmas wish

and demand a My First Mace!

Yeah, I'm afraid I'm out.
That is way above my pay grade.

I'm out, too.
My folks just got here

and they didn't pack
for a funeral.

Well, I, for one, am in.

Mavis is my best friend,
and if she needs help
saving Creepmas,

then I'm there for her.

Thank you, Wendy.

Right.
And just out of curiosity,

you are familiar with the part
of the Krampus legend

concerning what happens
if you try to see him

outside of official
visiting hours?

MAVIS: Ha-ha! Hank!

Come on! This is about
more than a toy!

It's about songs and decorations
and roast serpent dinner!

It's about saving Creepmas for
Aunt Lydia and the whole hotel!

You know Fifi
the Zombie Clown?

Before she visited Krampus,

she was Fifi
the Perfectly Normal Paralegal.
But now...

[BELL RINGING]

[SCREAMING]
I think I hear Daddy.

Yep, he's yelling that
he wants to go goo-bogganing,

so I better just bounce to it.

But ya know,
I wish you luck, Mavis,

and I think
you're gonna do great!

Fine! I'll just go see
Krampus myself then!

DRACULA:
With her friends showing a
distinct lack of backbone,

Mavis set out to save Creepmas

all on her own.

She flew like a flash
across the underworld,

past places that would make
your hair start to curl.

But it wasn't until
Mavis saw Krampus' cave

that she questioned
if her voyage was
foolish or brave.

Um... hello?
Is anyone there?

[GROWLING]

Who goes there?

[GULPING]
It's Mavis?

[GROANING]
Visiting hours ended last week!

I know. And I'm really, really,
really, really sorry,

but this is
a Creepmas emergency.

[SIGHING ANGRILY]
It always is.

Right, right. Sorry.

I just... I just need to
ask about an oversight
made on a gift

for my Aunt,
back in the late 800s?

An oversight?
Listen...

Um... Mavis, was it?

I appreciate your
attention to detail.

Oh, well, it's my pleasure.

But Krampus
doesn't make mistakes!

My Aunt is Lydia Dracula!
Lydia?

Well, well, well...

Why didn't you say so?

I remember exactly the Creepmas
gift you're talking about.

It was no mistake.

She was never supposed
to get that present.

And as far as I can tell,
everything worked out perfectly.

But...

No buts!

I've gotta catch at least
a little shut-eye
before my trip,

so I recommend you
fly back the way you came

and forget about that mace.

You know, unless you
wanna end up as fish food
in Lake Rashy Skin?

[GULPING]
No, I'm good!

Okay! I guess we're done here!
Scary Creepmas.

[YAWNING AND SNORING]

DRACULA:
So, about to head home,
tears wetting her face,

Mavis looked back
one last time at Lydia's mace.

Then, she got an idea
full of peril and risk.

but to possibly work,
she'd have to be brisk.

Wait, stop!
Mavy, don't do it!

No!
What? She can't hear me?

What's the point of narration

if you can't influence the
story? Okay, where was I?

Right, right.

Though Krampus claimed
he'd made no mistake,

Mavis frantically reasoned

it didn't mean she couldn't
still salvage the season!

Scary Creepmas, everybody!

Pour me another,
Frankie, baby.

Good thing
Lydia's not here!

Uh, would you believe me if
I said aliens made me do it?

[CHUCKLING]
That's my mamma.

[CLUCKING]

Actually, we were
just talking

about how relieved we are
to not have any Creepmas fun.

Uh, really takes
the pressure off.

I see.

Well, as long as you're
not enjoying yourselves.

[ALL SIGHING WITH RELIEF]

Mavis!

You're alive!

Meet me on the roof.

[PANTING]
Five minutes.

So, we gotta go.

Creepmas stuff.

Nothing to worry about!
Bye, Mamma!

[GASPING]

Creepmas is saved!

[WENDY GASPING]
PEDRO:
The mace!

Nice! Now, go give it to her,
so Creepmas can start for real!

Uh, I can't just
give it to her.

What? Why not?

Aunt Lydia could have
tracked that toy down

at any point over the last


It has to be fired
by a cannon under
the Bone Tree,

so she knows
it's from Krampus!

Oh!

So, that's why I
ran up all those stairs

with this thing
jabbing me in the ribs!

WENDY:
You put up a Bone Tree
in the lobby?

Lydia's gonna freak!

Don't think so, Wendy.

Because when she lays her eyes
on the only gift
she's ever wanted,

this Creepmas embargo
will finally be over!

Whoa!

AUNT LYDIA:
Mavis!

What was that?

[SCOFFING]
Creepmas carolers.

[SPITTING]
Huh, got 'em.

Oh.
Well, good.

[ALL SIGHING WITH RELIEF]
[ALL GASPING]

♪ Carrying boxes inside
Yes, you are

♪ What a big strong guy
He's so strong ♪

KITTY:
Donald, we still need
to wrap those. Hurry up!

[YELPING]
Coming!

[ALL GASPING]
Oh, skull snaps.

We have to get the mace
back or we're staked

and it's bye-bye Creepmas.

Luckily,
they're probably asleep,

so we can zip in and out.

But how are
we supposed to get in?

Don't the humans have some
high-tech monster
security system?

Please!
They haven't designed a system
that can stop the P-E-Dro!

Hah!

[LASER ZAPPING]

All right, scratch that.

[GROANING]

Of all the houses for
the mace to be in,

it would have to be
the one belonging

to the world's
preeminent monster hater.

[GROANING]

[BELLS JINGLING]

Um...
Do you hear that?

A burglar!

What kind of monster breaks into
a human house on Creepmas night?

I mean, you know, besides us?

I don't know.

WENDY: What?
HANK: Whoa!

MAVIS: Whoever it is,

he just showed us
the way inside!

The chimney
must not be protected!

DRACULA:
And so, encouraged
by witnessing

this Creepmas crime spree,

the kids flew up toward
the Cartwrights' chimney.

[YELPING]

[KRAMPUS SNORING]

Krampus was waking and, uh...

Well, scratching his bum...

[HEAVY METAL PLAYING]
...to some heavy metal music

that would melt
your ear drums. Yeah!

[COUGHING]
Okay.

Naughty list? Check.

Sack of unsafe toys? Check.

Now...

Let's kick some
Creepmas butt!

DRACULA:
But just about to leave,
something felt out of place,

he realized quickly

it was Lydia's mace!

Okay, Mavis Dracula,
you want games?

Let's play!

[ROARING]

DRACULA:
Meanwhile, back
at the Cartwrights,

Hank proved outstanding
at giving the others
a much softer landing.

[GASPING]

[SCREAMING]

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Oh, no.
Everything's wrapped!

It could be in
any of these packages!

The quicker we find it,

the quicker we get out
of this shiny nightmare.

Hah!

TEDDY BEAR: I wuv you!

[SCREAMING]
Die, foul beast!

Ah! Ah! Ah! You!

If he wakes the humans,
the mission is blown!

[SNORING]

PEDRO: Let me go!
Let at it! Let me go!

Santa?

PEDRO: I said, let me go!
I'm right here!

Come at me, bro!
Okay. It's okay.

He can't hurt you anymore.

All right, guys, we gotta be
brave and just power through.

[TICKING]

[ALL PANTING]

Let us never speak
of this again.

Mmm...
Ooh! Gotta admit though,

these fancy spiral meat hooks
are sorta tasty.

[GASPING]
No!

[SCREAMING]
We still haven't found the mace!

And look at this mess!

We can't leave
the place like this.

Look at all the
claw marks and blob stains!

This has monster invasion
written all over it.

But how are we gonna put
the gifts back together?

The paper's trashed!

[SCOFFING]
Step aside, skin-wearers,

and let the wrap king
do his thing!

Aight, drop me a sick b*at.

[RAP b*at PLAYING]

♪ Once again
It's every wrapper's
favorite time of the year

♪ When all them gifts
need to be covered
with a shiny veneer

♪ No, at Creepmas
All that wrappin'

♪ Isn't just window dressin'

♪ Ya gotta keep all them
bad little boys and ghouls
guessin'

♪ 'Cause trust me, ain't nobody
wanna open they swag

♪ If it's only in a ribbon
or a box or a bag

♪ No, the only thing
that's good enough
for my Creepmas night

♪ Is a whole buncha wrappin'
and it better be tight! ♪

[LITTLE GIRL GIGGLING]
Look!

[GASPING AND WHISPERING]
She's got the mace!

[GIGGLING]

How will we get
it back now?
[GASPING]

[GIGGLING]

Ah, guess we can
kiss Creepmas goodbye.

[SIGHING]
You should go.

At least you guys have family
to hang with this year.

Hold on.

I might have an idea.

What?

Well, that was easy.

Maybe for you!

I just got that leg
for my birthday.

[GIGGLING]

There! Good as new.

MAVIS:
We're gonna make it!

It's not too late
to save Creepmas!

[ALL SCREAM]

Well, what do you know...

ALL: Krampus!
MAVIS: I'm sorry,

Mr. Krampus, but I
had to take the mace.

And anyway,

I'm not the one that made
the mistake in the first place.

But Krampus
doesn't make mistakes!

Give me the mace!

[GULPING]

Well?

Uh, I'll probably regret this,

but the answer is... no.

I suppose there's only
one thing to do now, then.

[GROWLING]

I suppose so.

Hank? Leg.

[GROANING]

[GRUNTS]

Ooh!

Creepmas fight!

[BOTH GROWLING]

♪

Ha-ha-ha!

What is going on here?

Yeah, what's going out here?

Oh my goblins,
it's Krampus.

[SIGHING]
It's all my fault.

I learned how Krampus forgot
to bring you a My First Mace
when you were little.

And I thought if I
could make it right,

maybe your Creepmas
spirit would come back,

then we could celebrate like we
do when Dad is here and...

KRAMPUS:
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

You still think
I didn't bring that mace

'cause I made
a mistake at the job

I've been doing since the
beginning of time?

[NERVOUSLY] Yes?

[LAUGHING]

Kid, the reason
I didn't bring Lydia that toy

was to help her be the
most terrifying monster
in history!

You did what now?

DRACULA:
So, Krampus explained,
in dramatic flashback,

how he helped turn Lydia's
kind heart jet black.

Making Lydia mad
was all part of the plan

and that's when
her afterlife truly began.

So, you were actually
helping Lydia

by not giving her
what she wanted?

Exactly! If I gave her that toy,

she would have drifted
through afterlife a friendly,
soft little wimp,

instead of becoming the
terrifying beast she is today!

Mind blown.

[MAKING expl*si*n NOISE]

That night, Krampus gave me
the greatest gift of all...

Pure evil.

I... I don't know what to say.

How about that you'll give
my daughter back her present

and apologize for
trashing my house?

Humans!
Yes, humans!

You know, the ones
whose house you destroyed,

gifts you defaced,
and toy you replaced

with this disgusting appendage.

Well, clearly, you don't
appreciate a good leg
when you see one.

Well, unless you want
to add being incinerated

to your list of grievances,
I suggest that you...

Please, allow me.

[GIGGLING]
My dear,

please enjoy with our
deepest regrets.

I... I... Um, thank you.

Okay, hon, let's leave all of
these nice monsters alone

and go enjoy
the rest of our holidays

with all of our blood
still in our bodies.

KITTY:
What is happening?

How dare you!

Wait for it.

[BOTH SCREAMING]
[LITTLE GIRL GIGGLING]

It's so beautiful.

[LAUGHING]

Scary Creepmas, everyone!

[ORGAN PLAYING TUNE OF
HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING]

♪ Barks and peril
Painful stings

♪ Gory goo and demon wings

♪ Greasy barf
and steaming bile

♪ Ate my dinner
Werewolf style

♪ La la la la la la laa...

DRACULA:
As their scary song filled
the air with delight,

Mavis slowly retreated
back into the night.

Although she'd accomplished
an incredible feat,

for her, Creepmas night
still wasn't complete.

Sure, everyone was
happy as mutant clams,

but deep down,

Mavis still missed
her old man.

She knew that a visit
was a strict no-go.

[TAPPING]
And yet...

Was that tapping
on her bedroom window?

Dad!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Scary Creepmas,
my little Mavy-wavy!

I can't believe you're here!

To be honest,
I can't believe it either.

If the council knew,
they'd pull out my fangs

and use them for
arm-on-the-cob holders.

But I just missed you too much.

Unfortunately,
I didn't have a chance
to get you a Creepmas gift!

Yes, you did.

DRACULA:
With Creepmas now saved
for my Mavy too,

I knew it was time,
I was right on cue,

to fly like a bat
out into the night,

yelling scary Creepmas to all

and to all a good fright!

[LAUGHING]
Scary Creepmas, Dad.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[VOCALIZING]