02x01 - Eggertggedon
Posted: 03/19/24 16:35
♪
(Honking)
Whoa!
Whoa!
Ah!
♪
♪
(Clock ticking)
Unbelievable.
I think time’s actually going
backwards.
Actually, it’s inhumane to
keep school open when it’s this
hot.
Doesn’t this school have an
air conditioning system?
Look on the bright side.
No way Mrs. Doorhammer’s giving
us homework with only two weeks
of school left.
Here’s your homework, even
though there’s only two weeks of
school left.
(Groaning)
(Intercom squealing)
ZEIGLERIs this thing on?
ALLYes, it’s on.
I know there’s a rumour going
around that when a classroom
reaches the melting point of
asbestos, we have to let you go
home.
(Cheering)
ZEIGLERIt’s not true.
(Groaning)
Now, I don’t like the heat any
more than you.
Another thing I hate is when you
toss bread in the park, and the
big duck runs and pushes the
little duck out of the way, even
though it was the little duck
you really wanted to give it to.
Shoo, big duckie, shoo!
Too late, too late, he’s eaten
the little duckie’s bread.
Guys, you know our group
project?
I’ve got an idea for it that’ll
let us stay up all night.
(Snoring)
You mean, this isn’t night
now?
That explains why my math
teacher yesterday was a fridge.
Oh, oh, I know the answer!
Now, I don’t wanna get you
three excited, but I think I’m
going to be made head of gender
studies at the university!
I...I said I don’t wanna get you
excited.
That’s great, Dad.
Do you work at the university?
Yes.
Cool.
Where’s Gram-Gram?
Ready?
Ready when you are.
(Exploding)
(Coughing)
Oh, we hit the mother lode,
Agnes.
Yoohoo!
Over here, boys.
Mouth to mouth resuscitation, no
waitin’.
Oh, here we are.
Now, the eggs come from a farm
that’s not only free-range, the
chickens have their own
midwives.
(Groaning)
Push.
It’s a beautiful baby...egg.
So, tell me everything that
happened in school today.
Because, remember, I am very
interested in your lives.
Kate?
I think I’ve reached puberty.
(Spitting)
My chest has hurt the last
couple of days.
Uh, that’s because the cat
was sleeping on it.
CATThink I’ll eat
something.
Then I’ll have a nap.
Then I’ll eat something, ruin
some furniture, have another
nap.
Then...
Kate, though it will be a
wonderful, liberating
experience crossing over into
womanhood, let me remind you,
you’re !
One word, Dad.
Estrogen.
If I’m gonna be a major player,
I need this.
There’s estrogens in meat.
If mad cow doesn’t k*ll me, I’ll
be voluptuous before Christmas.
Uptious.
Whoop, gettin’ dark, gotta
go.
Whoa, champ, where to so
late?
I wish I didn’t have to stay
out all night, Dad, but group
project.
School orders.
See ya in the morning!
Kate, Kate, listen, honey.
Becoming a woman, which I assure
you you’re not, has nothing to
do with body shape...ew!
Dad, get real.
If I don’t start getting curves
all over the place, I’ll never
fill out my "Servace" business
suit.
(Rattling)
Goon, you okay?
I had some coffee so I could
stay awake.
I don’t think it’s taken effect
yet.
(Rattling)
Hey, you want me to run to Italy
and get you a pizza?
Wow, I didn’t know there was
an international sign for,
"Sudden plunge ahead, put lids
on all beverages."
Ah, the creatures of the
night.
Have you noticed they’re mostly
mosquitoes?
And shouldn’t you be in bed?
No, I’m looking at the stars
for a school project.
Boy, am I glad I flunked out
of kindergarten.
Anyway, I got some information
for you.
You never have information
for me.
You always let me figure it out
for myself.
This time’s different.
Ahem, "The winner of tomorrow’s
third horse race at Salvino Park
will be..."
Oh, no, wait, that’s for someone
else.
No, gimme that one!
Let me see it!
Sorry, tampering with
celestial mail is a federal...
(Whistling)
to .
I’ll split it with ya.
No can do.
Ah, Eggert, here we are.
Ahem, "Something big is about to
end."
That’s it?
ACEPelswick!
I’ve gotta go.
Was there anything else?
Let me see.
A lottery number, stocks about
to double.
No, nothing else for you.
(Mosquito buzzing)
Hey, get away, go on!
(Sighing)
Yo, so we gonna party all
night?
Guaranteed.
Goon drank a whole pot of
coffee.
Look I’m a hummingbird!
(Buzzing)
Want me to swim to New Zealand?
Ooh, look, a stick!
I’ll be right back.
PELSWICKDoughnut.
ACEDoughnut.
PELSWICKCola.
ACECola.
View heavens.
Mr. Jimmy?
JULIEThe Amazon rainforest,
the green-crested pond wallower,
the Bayview sewer crocodile,
what do they have in common?
They’re all, like, really
ugly?
Sandra, be serious.
This is for half our grade.
They’re all part of the
endangered world.
Well, duh.
No wonder, look at them.
Who’d take that alligator
anywhere?
Crocodile.
Whatever.
The endangered world needs a
makeover or it’s, like, never
going anywhere.
Apart from that being the
most ditz-headed idea I ever
heard, it’s brilliant!
If we combine my love of the
Earth with your love of fashion,
we can make endangered wildlife
too beautiful to k*ll!
Is that a new star?
Actually, that’s the moon.
Oh, yeah.
I see the flag and the golf
balls.
More sticks, more sticks!
Ooh!
Ah, this is the life.
OD’ing on sugar and grease when
we should be in bed.
Hm, I can’t sleep when it’s this
hot, anyway.
Yeah, you sweat, you kick the
covers off.
Well, I kick the covers off.
That’s not why I can’t sleep.
My Gram-Gram keeps her teeth in
the freezer.
(Chattering)
Oh, that’s better.
Hey, here’s the plan.
We pick some star, pretend we
discovered it, right, and get a
B-.
By the time Mrs. Doorhammer
discovers it’s a fake job,
school’s out and it’s too late
to change our grade.
Swift.
Quicker to break the tree up
here.
Anyone else want coffee?
I could run to Brazil, no
problem.
PELSWICKLet’s use that one.
ACEActually, there’s
nothing at those coordinates.
Sure there is, look.
Holy cow!
(Marching band playing)
Everyone in town’s here to pay
tribute to you.
Yeah, and for the free
trumpet breeze.
(Sighing)
(Tapping)
Is this thing on?
ALLYes, it’s on.
As vice principal of Alcatraz
Junior High, I want to
congratulate our young Galileo.
(Cheering)
A+, boys.
I’m his little sister.
Though in three months’ time,
I’ll be a curvaceous, powerful
CEO.
As the discoverer of the
star, I’d like to name it after
someone who’s always been a
light in my life.
I name you Julie Smockford
Major.
Also I’d like to mention my
friend, Goon, is selling a big
pile of sticks.
Pelswick!
Hi, Dad, I know you’re real
proud of me in a non sibling
preferential over any other
sibling way.
No, I mean, of course, but
look.
I looked through the university
telescope.
It’s not a star.
Of course it’s a star.
And I’ve written a special song
for the occasion.
(Pitch pipe whining)
♪ Twinkle twinkle, star so red
♪ Wouldn’t steal a duckie’s
bread ♪
What?
It’s the plutonium-powered
Zosmian space station.
In hours it’s gonna hit
Bayview, destroying everything
for a thousand miles, initiating
a nuclear winter and
annihilating all life on Earth!
(Gasping)
ZEIGLERThen I’ve got
another song.
(Pitch pipe whining)
♪ Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Everybody, I know this is
devastating news.
Especially to those of us who
were eagerly awaiting the next
Jedi space flick.
But it’s important now that
we’re all in the same boat.
Or chair.
Or whatever.
And help each other out.
(Cricket chirping)
Steal the square-headed kid’s
firewood!
(Rioting)
GOONStop it!
MR. JIMMYSomething big is
about to end.
(Intercom squealing)
(Shattering)
ZEIGLERIs this thing on?
ALLYes, it’s on.
ZEIGLERI know there’s a
rumour that when the world’s
ending and the cities are
aflame with panic, looting and
random savagery, we have to let
you go home.
It’s not true.
ALLHuh?
(Groaning)
You won’t even let us out of
school early for the end of the
Earth?
Education’s important.
Without it you’d have no future.
We don’t have a future
anyway!
In hours we’re gonna be
nuclear toast!
(Boyd humming)
Boyd isn’t complaining.
That’s because even without
Armageddon, Boyd didn’t have a
future.
My ruling stands.
And, need I add...
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!
(Laughing)
Oh, I love doing that.
Here’s your homework.
There’s a test tomorrow and your
group projects are due Thursday.
Except for Pelswick’s.
Which will be dropping from the
sky on Friday.
(Sighing)
Hey, thanks for naming the
end of the world after me.
Really, nice touch.
(Sighing)
What are you gonna do
tonight?
I thought I might work on my
plans to hide out underground
until the radiation settles,
then lead the surviving rebel
forces in their fight against
the glowy-eyed mutant human
uprising.
Better than my plan.
I was gonna watch wrestling.
Where’s Goon?
PELSWICKShopping for
nuclear winter clothing.
I need something that says
hip and casual, and can
withstand a bunch of that
radiation stuff.
And, what the heck, one of those
hats where you pull a string on
top and the hands clap.
(Laughing)
(Sobbing)
I had so many dreams, but how
am I gonna humiliate every kid
in school in only hours?
You can’t do it at that pace.
It’s an art, not an assembly
line thing.
(Sniffing)
You can call me four-eyes.
I’m really sensitive about that.
Thanks.
I just need a little quiet
time here, okay?
What are you doing, Agnes?
I was wondering why, as we
age, we get smaller but our
underwear gets bigger.
Never mind that.
I’ve got a plan.
Oh, we’re not gonna kidnap
cute firemen again, are we?
Oh, no time for that.
We’ve gotta save the world.
You and me are gonna fly up to
the space station and blow it to
smithereens.
We’ve already got the dynamite.
We just need the rocket.
Um, I don’t know, Sandra.
Are we going to, like,
abandon two worthy causes and a
possible A in our group project,
just because the Earth’s about
to be consumed in nasty, yucky
flames?
You’re right, of course.
Who could, like, find it in
their heart to destroy the
habitat of a threatened
Malaysian gibbon, when it’s
wearing a pre-wrinkled Ignatio
Fulgari gown with matching
purse?
(Camera flashing)
♪ And he laid his hammer down
Oh, yeah.
Dad, shouldn’t you be at
work?
I quit.
But what about your promotion
at that, uh, place where you
work?
Ah, promotion, shmomotion.
I’ve been a fool, wasting my
life in a dry, academic
sinkhole, when I could’ve been
driving around in a microbus
following Megadirt.
Dad, I’m sorry about all
this.
I wish I’d discovered something
fun, like a potato shaped like a
female talk show host.
Which would actually be pretty
easy, when you think about it.
That’s okay, son.
The end of the world is no one’s
fault.
Except, of course, for those
corner-cutting Zosmians.
♪ They scrimped on fuel and fell
from the skies ♪
♪ So we were eaten by mutants
with glowy eyes ♪
Where’s Kate?
(Grunting)
Come on, estrogen.
I have hours to become a
successful businesswoman, wife
and mother.
♪
What are you doing up here?
And where’d you get those
outfits?
Oh, well, we bought ’em in
the gift shop.
Those are made of paper.
Oh, that doesn’t matter, cute
stuff.
We only need them long enough to
save the Earth.
(Laughing)
In case I don’t come back, give
these to my grandson.
Ooh, or Bruce Willis.
I’m sorry, ladies, but you
can’t get on that rocket.
(Thumping)
If the world wasn’t in
danger, I’d knit you a sweater.
World astern!
Yee haw!
Why make a crocodile into a
pair of boots, when it couldn’t
look better than the Manolo
Pushnik high-heeled pumps it’s
already wearing?
The Bayview sewer crocodile
is already suffering from a
shrinking habitat, due to the
popularity of low-flow toilets.
(Screaming)
Down!
We’re out of pork chops.
Get ready to run.
Remember, good taste never dies,
and neither should the animals
who wear it.
BOTHThank you.
(Applause)
(Laughing)
And that’s how we plan to
save the Earth.
You know, if it wasn’t going to
end on Thursday, thanks to
Pelswick.
It’s not my fault!
"Fake tape to play to
make people thing you’re on the
moon."
Ha!
I can’t see!
Ah, ah, I’m space blind!
No, you ain’t.
Your face wrinkles floated up
over your eyes.
Oh, that’s better.
(Siren wailing)
(Crashing)
How was wrestling?
Great, blood, headlocks, body
slams.
You know, kid stuff.
(Screaming)
I was right!
So, what are your plans?
I think I’ll become a
glowy-eyed mutant, roaming the
blighted terrain in search of
human flesh.
Booyah.
You want human leg, fellow
mutant?
Oh, can I get fries with
that?
Quite a serious decision.
Especially since you used to
want to be a lifeguard.
(Sobbing)
Even my tears are flat.
Now I’ll never be a member of
the Billionaire Babes Club, and
it’s all your fault!
Mr. Jimmy, where have you
been?
I been travelling.
It’s a circus out there.
Man, I haven’t had this much fun
since those million giant
bats escaped from that cave in--
No, wait, that hasn’t happened
yet.
How can you enjoy this?
It’s lawless pandemonium out
there.
Why can’t it be like in the
movies, where everyone unites in
the face of disaster?
No, they don’t.
Of course they do!
No, no, watch ’em again.
It’s always a ragtag team of
loners that does all the work.
Plus a goofy, tubby kid along
for comic relief.
And a cute puppy, and sometimes
a wise old grandma.
While everyone else makes stupid
plans that’ll never work.
If it lands here, I’ll jump
here.
But if it lands here, I’ll jump
over here.
I still think you could’ve
warned me.
I told you something big was
gonna end.
You didn’t say it was gonna
be the Earth!
It is?
Whoa, this is news.
It isn’t?
Come on, we’re buds.
I’d have told you that.
What’s the second-worst thing
besides the world ending?
School not ending?
Gotta go.
School...ragtag team?
♪
I’ll drill, you drop the
dynamite.
(Drilling)
(Speaking foreign language)
Hey, Agnes, what’s Zosmian for,
"Wake up, you dumb Zosmonaut,
and fire your retro rockets.
Your junky old space station’s
about to destroy the Earth"?
Uh, try, "Neep."
Hey, farm boy, neep!
Yikes!
(Speaking foreign language)
♪
Uh-oh.
You’ll always be my best friend.
ZEIGLERI know you’ve heard
a rumour that when the Earth’s
saved form Smockfordgeddon, you
don’t have summer school to
make up for lost work.
But it’s not true.
BOTHOh, yes, it is.
♪
(Crashing)
Uh, on second thought,
school’s out.
(Cheering)
GRAM-GRAM AND AGNESYahoo!
♪
(Honking)
Whoa!
Whoa!
Ah!
♪
♪
(Clock ticking)
Unbelievable.
I think time’s actually going
backwards.
Actually, it’s inhumane to
keep school open when it’s this
hot.
Doesn’t this school have an
air conditioning system?
Look on the bright side.
No way Mrs. Doorhammer’s giving
us homework with only two weeks
of school left.
Here’s your homework, even
though there’s only two weeks of
school left.
(Groaning)
(Intercom squealing)
ZEIGLERIs this thing on?
ALLYes, it’s on.
I know there’s a rumour going
around that when a classroom
reaches the melting point of
asbestos, we have to let you go
home.
(Cheering)
ZEIGLERIt’s not true.
(Groaning)
Now, I don’t like the heat any
more than you.
Another thing I hate is when you
toss bread in the park, and the
big duck runs and pushes the
little duck out of the way, even
though it was the little duck
you really wanted to give it to.
Shoo, big duckie, shoo!
Too late, too late, he’s eaten
the little duckie’s bread.
Guys, you know our group
project?
I’ve got an idea for it that’ll
let us stay up all night.
(Snoring)
You mean, this isn’t night
now?
That explains why my math
teacher yesterday was a fridge.
Oh, oh, I know the answer!
Now, I don’t wanna get you
three excited, but I think I’m
going to be made head of gender
studies at the university!
I...I said I don’t wanna get you
excited.
That’s great, Dad.
Do you work at the university?
Yes.
Cool.
Where’s Gram-Gram?
Ready?
Ready when you are.
(Exploding)
(Coughing)
Oh, we hit the mother lode,
Agnes.
Yoohoo!
Over here, boys.
Mouth to mouth resuscitation, no
waitin’.
Oh, here we are.
Now, the eggs come from a farm
that’s not only free-range, the
chickens have their own
midwives.
(Groaning)
Push.
It’s a beautiful baby...egg.
So, tell me everything that
happened in school today.
Because, remember, I am very
interested in your lives.
Kate?
I think I’ve reached puberty.
(Spitting)
My chest has hurt the last
couple of days.
Uh, that’s because the cat
was sleeping on it.
CATThink I’ll eat
something.
Then I’ll have a nap.
Then I’ll eat something, ruin
some furniture, have another
nap.
Then...
Kate, though it will be a
wonderful, liberating
experience crossing over into
womanhood, let me remind you,
you’re !
One word, Dad.
Estrogen.
If I’m gonna be a major player,
I need this.
There’s estrogens in meat.
If mad cow doesn’t k*ll me, I’ll
be voluptuous before Christmas.
Uptious.
Whoop, gettin’ dark, gotta
go.
Whoa, champ, where to so
late?
I wish I didn’t have to stay
out all night, Dad, but group
project.
School orders.
See ya in the morning!
Kate, Kate, listen, honey.
Becoming a woman, which I assure
you you’re not, has nothing to
do with body shape...ew!
Dad, get real.
If I don’t start getting curves
all over the place, I’ll never
fill out my "Servace" business
suit.
(Rattling)
Goon, you okay?
I had some coffee so I could
stay awake.
I don’t think it’s taken effect
yet.
(Rattling)
Hey, you want me to run to Italy
and get you a pizza?
Wow, I didn’t know there was
an international sign for,
"Sudden plunge ahead, put lids
on all beverages."
Ah, the creatures of the
night.
Have you noticed they’re mostly
mosquitoes?
And shouldn’t you be in bed?
No, I’m looking at the stars
for a school project.
Boy, am I glad I flunked out
of kindergarten.
Anyway, I got some information
for you.
You never have information
for me.
You always let me figure it out
for myself.
This time’s different.
Ahem, "The winner of tomorrow’s
third horse race at Salvino Park
will be..."
Oh, no, wait, that’s for someone
else.
No, gimme that one!
Let me see it!
Sorry, tampering with
celestial mail is a federal...
(Whistling)
to .
I’ll split it with ya.
No can do.
Ah, Eggert, here we are.
Ahem, "Something big is about to
end."
That’s it?
ACEPelswick!
I’ve gotta go.
Was there anything else?
Let me see.
A lottery number, stocks about
to double.
No, nothing else for you.
(Mosquito buzzing)
Hey, get away, go on!
(Sighing)
Yo, so we gonna party all
night?
Guaranteed.
Goon drank a whole pot of
coffee.
Look I’m a hummingbird!
(Buzzing)
Want me to swim to New Zealand?
Ooh, look, a stick!
I’ll be right back.
PELSWICKDoughnut.
ACEDoughnut.
PELSWICKCola.
ACECola.
View heavens.
Mr. Jimmy?
JULIEThe Amazon rainforest,
the green-crested pond wallower,
the Bayview sewer crocodile,
what do they have in common?
They’re all, like, really
ugly?
Sandra, be serious.
This is for half our grade.
They’re all part of the
endangered world.
Well, duh.
No wonder, look at them.
Who’d take that alligator
anywhere?
Crocodile.
Whatever.
The endangered world needs a
makeover or it’s, like, never
going anywhere.
Apart from that being the
most ditz-headed idea I ever
heard, it’s brilliant!
If we combine my love of the
Earth with your love of fashion,
we can make endangered wildlife
too beautiful to k*ll!
Is that a new star?
Actually, that’s the moon.
Oh, yeah.
I see the flag and the golf
balls.
More sticks, more sticks!
Ooh!
Ah, this is the life.
OD’ing on sugar and grease when
we should be in bed.
Hm, I can’t sleep when it’s this
hot, anyway.
Yeah, you sweat, you kick the
covers off.
Well, I kick the covers off.
That’s not why I can’t sleep.
My Gram-Gram keeps her teeth in
the freezer.
(Chattering)
Oh, that’s better.
Hey, here’s the plan.
We pick some star, pretend we
discovered it, right, and get a
B-.
By the time Mrs. Doorhammer
discovers it’s a fake job,
school’s out and it’s too late
to change our grade.
Swift.
Quicker to break the tree up
here.
Anyone else want coffee?
I could run to Brazil, no
problem.
PELSWICKLet’s use that one.
ACEActually, there’s
nothing at those coordinates.
Sure there is, look.
Holy cow!
(Marching band playing)
Everyone in town’s here to pay
tribute to you.
Yeah, and for the free
trumpet breeze.
(Sighing)
(Tapping)
Is this thing on?
ALLYes, it’s on.
As vice principal of Alcatraz
Junior High, I want to
congratulate our young Galileo.
(Cheering)
A+, boys.
I’m his little sister.
Though in three months’ time,
I’ll be a curvaceous, powerful
CEO.
As the discoverer of the
star, I’d like to name it after
someone who’s always been a
light in my life.
I name you Julie Smockford
Major.
Also I’d like to mention my
friend, Goon, is selling a big
pile of sticks.
Pelswick!
Hi, Dad, I know you’re real
proud of me in a non sibling
preferential over any other
sibling way.
No, I mean, of course, but
look.
I looked through the university
telescope.
It’s not a star.
Of course it’s a star.
And I’ve written a special song
for the occasion.
(Pitch pipe whining)
♪ Twinkle twinkle, star so red
♪ Wouldn’t steal a duckie’s
bread ♪
What?
It’s the plutonium-powered
Zosmian space station.
In hours it’s gonna hit
Bayview, destroying everything
for a thousand miles, initiating
a nuclear winter and
annihilating all life on Earth!
(Gasping)
ZEIGLERThen I’ve got
another song.
(Pitch pipe whining)
♪ Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Everybody, I know this is
devastating news.
Especially to those of us who
were eagerly awaiting the next
Jedi space flick.
But it’s important now that
we’re all in the same boat.
Or chair.
Or whatever.
And help each other out.
(Cricket chirping)
Steal the square-headed kid’s
firewood!
(Rioting)
GOONStop it!
MR. JIMMYSomething big is
about to end.
(Intercom squealing)
(Shattering)
ZEIGLERIs this thing on?
ALLYes, it’s on.
ZEIGLERI know there’s a
rumour that when the world’s
ending and the cities are
aflame with panic, looting and
random savagery, we have to let
you go home.
It’s not true.
ALLHuh?
(Groaning)
You won’t even let us out of
school early for the end of the
Earth?
Education’s important.
Without it you’d have no future.
We don’t have a future
anyway!
In hours we’re gonna be
nuclear toast!
(Boyd humming)
Boyd isn’t complaining.
That’s because even without
Armageddon, Boyd didn’t have a
future.
My ruling stands.
And, need I add...
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!
(Laughing)
Oh, I love doing that.
Here’s your homework.
There’s a test tomorrow and your
group projects are due Thursday.
Except for Pelswick’s.
Which will be dropping from the
sky on Friday.
(Sighing)
Hey, thanks for naming the
end of the world after me.
Really, nice touch.
(Sighing)
What are you gonna do
tonight?
I thought I might work on my
plans to hide out underground
until the radiation settles,
then lead the surviving rebel
forces in their fight against
the glowy-eyed mutant human
uprising.
Better than my plan.
I was gonna watch wrestling.
Where’s Goon?
PELSWICKShopping for
nuclear winter clothing.
I need something that says
hip and casual, and can
withstand a bunch of that
radiation stuff.
And, what the heck, one of those
hats where you pull a string on
top and the hands clap.
(Laughing)
(Sobbing)
I had so many dreams, but how
am I gonna humiliate every kid
in school in only hours?
You can’t do it at that pace.
It’s an art, not an assembly
line thing.
(Sniffing)
You can call me four-eyes.
I’m really sensitive about that.
Thanks.
I just need a little quiet
time here, okay?
What are you doing, Agnes?
I was wondering why, as we
age, we get smaller but our
underwear gets bigger.
Never mind that.
I’ve got a plan.
Oh, we’re not gonna kidnap
cute firemen again, are we?
Oh, no time for that.
We’ve gotta save the world.
You and me are gonna fly up to
the space station and blow it to
smithereens.
We’ve already got the dynamite.
We just need the rocket.
Um, I don’t know, Sandra.
Are we going to, like,
abandon two worthy causes and a
possible A in our group project,
just because the Earth’s about
to be consumed in nasty, yucky
flames?
You’re right, of course.
Who could, like, find it in
their heart to destroy the
habitat of a threatened
Malaysian gibbon, when it’s
wearing a pre-wrinkled Ignatio
Fulgari gown with matching
purse?
(Camera flashing)
♪ And he laid his hammer down
Oh, yeah.
Dad, shouldn’t you be at
work?
I quit.
But what about your promotion
at that, uh, place where you
work?
Ah, promotion, shmomotion.
I’ve been a fool, wasting my
life in a dry, academic
sinkhole, when I could’ve been
driving around in a microbus
following Megadirt.
Dad, I’m sorry about all
this.
I wish I’d discovered something
fun, like a potato shaped like a
female talk show host.
Which would actually be pretty
easy, when you think about it.
That’s okay, son.
The end of the world is no one’s
fault.
Except, of course, for those
corner-cutting Zosmians.
♪ They scrimped on fuel and fell
from the skies ♪
♪ So we were eaten by mutants
with glowy eyes ♪
Where’s Kate?
(Grunting)
Come on, estrogen.
I have hours to become a
successful businesswoman, wife
and mother.
♪
What are you doing up here?
And where’d you get those
outfits?
Oh, well, we bought ’em in
the gift shop.
Those are made of paper.
Oh, that doesn’t matter, cute
stuff.
We only need them long enough to
save the Earth.
(Laughing)
In case I don’t come back, give
these to my grandson.
Ooh, or Bruce Willis.
I’m sorry, ladies, but you
can’t get on that rocket.
(Thumping)
If the world wasn’t in
danger, I’d knit you a sweater.
World astern!
Yee haw!
Why make a crocodile into a
pair of boots, when it couldn’t
look better than the Manolo
Pushnik high-heeled pumps it’s
already wearing?
The Bayview sewer crocodile
is already suffering from a
shrinking habitat, due to the
popularity of low-flow toilets.
(Screaming)
Down!
We’re out of pork chops.
Get ready to run.
Remember, good taste never dies,
and neither should the animals
who wear it.
BOTHThank you.
(Applause)
(Laughing)
And that’s how we plan to
save the Earth.
You know, if it wasn’t going to
end on Thursday, thanks to
Pelswick.
It’s not my fault!
"Fake tape to play to
make people thing you’re on the
moon."
Ha!
I can’t see!
Ah, ah, I’m space blind!
No, you ain’t.
Your face wrinkles floated up
over your eyes.
Oh, that’s better.
(Siren wailing)
(Crashing)
How was wrestling?
Great, blood, headlocks, body
slams.
You know, kid stuff.
(Screaming)
I was right!
So, what are your plans?
I think I’ll become a
glowy-eyed mutant, roaming the
blighted terrain in search of
human flesh.
Booyah.
You want human leg, fellow
mutant?
Oh, can I get fries with
that?
Quite a serious decision.
Especially since you used to
want to be a lifeguard.
(Sobbing)
Even my tears are flat.
Now I’ll never be a member of
the Billionaire Babes Club, and
it’s all your fault!
Mr. Jimmy, where have you
been?
I been travelling.
It’s a circus out there.
Man, I haven’t had this much fun
since those million giant
bats escaped from that cave in--
No, wait, that hasn’t happened
yet.
How can you enjoy this?
It’s lawless pandemonium out
there.
Why can’t it be like in the
movies, where everyone unites in
the face of disaster?
No, they don’t.
Of course they do!
No, no, watch ’em again.
It’s always a ragtag team of
loners that does all the work.
Plus a goofy, tubby kid along
for comic relief.
And a cute puppy, and sometimes
a wise old grandma.
While everyone else makes stupid
plans that’ll never work.
If it lands here, I’ll jump
here.
But if it lands here, I’ll jump
over here.
I still think you could’ve
warned me.
I told you something big was
gonna end.
You didn’t say it was gonna
be the Earth!
It is?
Whoa, this is news.
It isn’t?
Come on, we’re buds.
I’d have told you that.
What’s the second-worst thing
besides the world ending?
School not ending?
Gotta go.
School...ragtag team?
♪
I’ll drill, you drop the
dynamite.
(Drilling)
(Speaking foreign language)
Hey, Agnes, what’s Zosmian for,
"Wake up, you dumb Zosmonaut,
and fire your retro rockets.
Your junky old space station’s
about to destroy the Earth"?
Uh, try, "Neep."
Hey, farm boy, neep!
Yikes!
(Speaking foreign language)
♪
Uh-oh.
You’ll always be my best friend.
ZEIGLERI know you’ve heard
a rumour that when the Earth’s
saved form Smockfordgeddon, you
don’t have summer school to
make up for lost work.
But it’s not true.
BOTHOh, yes, it is.
♪
(Crashing)
Uh, on second thought,
school’s out.
(Cheering)
GRAM-GRAM AND AGNESYahoo!
♪