04x04 - The O'Melia Family

[bunniefuu]

SHE SCREAMS

MALE NARRATOR: 'They're every parent's worst nightmare...'

SCREAMS Stupid!

'..kids, completely out of control...'

No, stop. HE SCREAMS

'..And taking over the household.'

I will smack your butt.

'These parents have reached the end of the road.'

All right, enough, I don't care!

'They're in desperate need of help.'

- Get upstairs! - No!

- Get into bed!

'They have only one alternative left.

'It's time to contact Nanny .'

RINGING

This is Nanny . Can I help you?

'From our team of world-class nannies,

'direct from Nanny Central,

'the right nanny will be chosen.

'They will then have one week to take our families

'from living hell to a family bliss.'

- You're a waste of life. 'Can these families be saved?'

I'm going to call the police.

- No! - Anthony!

I don't love you.

What you do with those children is my business.

'Parents of America, help is on the way.

BELL RINGS ALL: Nanny's here!

The nanny's here!

Who's your nanny?

'Tonight...' SCREAMING

'..mom Judy is outnumbered five to one.'

Are you having fun? Cos Mommy's not having fun.

'And while Dad's away at work, Mom just can't put her foot down.'

- You wanna go apologise now? - No.

I'm not asking you to not nurture your children.

There's a lot of stress being a stay-at-home mom.

'Can Nanny Stella even the odds...'

- I want to rip you into pieces. - You want to rip me into pieces?

'..and help mom Judy stay on top?'

SCREAMING

'Next, on Nanny .'

CHILDREN SHOUT

HE CRIES My name is Judy O'Melia

and currently, I'm a stay-at-home mom.

Kayleigh, why don't you move over and share a seat?

'And I'd like to think I'm sane, but you know,'

with five kids, sometimes I'm a little insane.

- Mommy! - OK, OK! One at a time.

My name is Jim O'Melia, I'm a paramedic,

'and I also own a construction business.'

No, no more, no more spoons.

We don't need spoons. CHILD CRIES

'Judy and I have been married for ten years'

this past October.

- I need Daddy upstairs. - Why?

Cos I need you upstairs.

'My family is a little crazy...'

Hey, hey, hey!

You know, that's too rough.

..a little intense.

SCREAMING

Our oldest child is Kayleigh. She's six years old.

Her biggest issues, I think, are her being a primadonna.

Unlock the door.

Unlock the door.

CHILDREN BABBLE

Then we have James and Eamon, who are twins.

'James is more of the mastermind.

'He's more of the person behind the scenes.

'He's also our most headstrong child.'

No!

'If he wants something and he doesn't get it,'

sometimes he'll either push you down or hit you to take it from you.

- James! - 'Then we have Eamon.'

He he's gotten very bad with his back talk.

- He's a trash talker. - Yes.

SCREAMS I don't want to. No.

Declan is two years old, and he's our screamer.

DECLAN SCREAMS

'He's definitely at a terrible twos kinda age.'

No. Hey!

Our child Finn, our youngest, he has learned

that to be heard and get what he wants,

he has to fight it out with them, and he jumps right in.

He hits when he doesn't get his way...

SCREAMING

..he throws things when he doesn't get his way.

He's the one who screams when he doesn't get his way.

Daddy!

'But all of our kid scream.'

This is a very loud house.

SCREAMING

When they're all together, the noise grows exponentially.

SCREAMING

And sometimes, it's hard to take that in

and not, like, get frazzled and, you know, lose it.

BANGING Everybody has the same plate.

There's definitely a mob mentality in the house

when it comes to the children.

SCREAMING

I am the primary discipline in this house.

You have to do your homework every day.

'Because my husband does work two jobs

'and he's not here most of the time.

'He's a very good father when he's around.'

'Which is a little rough on her,'

because I'm out of the house by six o'clock at night,

I'm not back till the following morning.

Bedtime, baths, on those nights, she's on her own.

Gonna get you dressed, go to bed without a story.

That's it, go. CHILD SCREAMS

The discipline of the house, we usually try to use timeouts.

You've got four minutes in the chair.

I feel like a broken record sometimes.

Four minutes in the chair. Four minutes.

Four minutes in the chair, James.

I really don't think that it works.

When Jim says something, they know that he means business.

What did I just say to you? Now you go to your room.

'Judy and I have a little bit different styles.'

She negotiates with them more.

- Maybe you should say sorry. - Uh-uh.

'When I need them to do something, I say,'

"This is what we're gonna do, do it, that's the end of it."

When you learn how to listen, then we'll talk.

Whereas Judy is not so forceful with that,

so I think there's a little issue there.

- D'you wanna go downstairs? - Yeah.

- You wanna give me a few minutes? - No.

'Judy doesn't give herself enough credit,

and she feels like she's not doing that great of a job

cos the kids scream a lot.

SCREAMING

I think that's just kids.

'If things go well and one thing goes wrong...

Right.

..she's gonna focus on the one thing that went wrong

and think she's a total failure.

'I think motherhood has become so overwhelming

'that I've lost some of the joy.'

Cos you do the same thing over and over and over again.

'And at least right now with my kids,

'I have the same issues over and over and over again.'

Jesus!

That wasn't nice.

I used to really enjoy the kids,

and now it just seems like such a job.

Do you think that was nice, to push Mommy over like that?

And it's not good for them and it's not good for me.

With all the children out of control,

this mum is in over her head.

'Nanny Stella, she'll need your cool and calm direction

'to get her head above water.'

The game's over for you, James.

BELL RINGS

- Oh, thank God! - Oh, dear.

- Hello. - Hello.

I'm Nanny Stella.

- I'm Judy. - Nice to meet you.

When I first saw Nanny Stella, I thought, thank God,

'maybe I will get the help I need,

'and she'll point me in the right direction.'

Let's go in the living room.

- Uh-oh. - These are the four boys.

Hi, boys.

Kayleigh is at school, and my husband, Jim, is at work.

Right.

Come here, Eamon. This is James.

- Hi, James. - James, please sit down.

- James. This is Finn. - Hi, Finn.

Declan, can you say hello and be nice?

Can you show us some good manners?

- Hi, Declan. - Declan.

- Declan. - That's OK.

- And who's the one who's run away? - Eamon just ran away.

OK.

Very good. Say hello.

So, erm...

Basically, what happens now is, erm, you just live your day.

And I observe, and then, later on, I can advise you guys

what I think we can do to help improve the situation.

- All right? - Fingers crossed.

NANNY STELLA: It's almost lunchtime at the O'Melias',

'and Mum's taking orders.'

Who's gonna talk to me about the choices for lunch?

Cos, for lunch, we could have mac and cheese or baloney.

'Seems like Mum is waiting for the kids to decide

'what's for lunch,

'instead of establishing the menu herself.'

You're calling me dinosaur.

CHILDREN BABBLE

- Don't bite me, Finn, don't bite. - Mommy!

'Looks like little Finn thinks Mum's for lunch.'

You wanna rip me into pieces? Why?

You don't like me? But you don't know me.

You wanna rip me into pieces too?

You wanna put me in hot lava?

'This is all pretty graphic.

'I think these kids might know what I'm here for,

'and they don't like it.'

Nom-nom-nom-nom!

CHILDREN BABBLE

Do you think that's nice to say when you first meet somebody?

Huh?

CHILDREN BABBLE

Cos Mommy doesn't think that's nice.

'Judy was really upset.'

She thought that was very, very rude.

When I see my kids act the way I try to teach them not to act,

it reflects on me.

'The kids are picking on me,

'but Mum's the one taking it personally.'

'The afternoon wears on, and I observe

'as Eamon and Declan prove they have

'a low tolerance for playing together.'

JUDY GASPS

You do that again and I'm taking the dinosaurs away, OK?

'It seems Mum DOES know when to step in.'

Dinosaurs are not made to...

Do you want me to take the dinosaur away right now?

- No. - No.

'But somehow, the kids know they can hold out longer than her.'

HE SCREAMS

Excuse me! Now, give me the dinosaurs.

We're done with the dinosaurs, they're too dangerous now.

Everybody, open your hands. Open your hand.

We are taking the dinosaurs and they are going away for the day.

That's it.

HE SOBS

'Later on, the kids have their toys again

'and we're back where we started.'

Don't knock it down!

'Except, this time, James raises the stakes.'

STELLA GASPS

Oh, James, what happened?

Can you tell me what happened?

Mommy.

- Think you should say sorry. - Uh-uh.

- No. - I didn't break anything!

Then you're gonna get up and apologise to your brother.

- Let's go. - I don't wanna apologise.

If you don't wanna apologise, we'll sit in timeout,

and you can think about it for four minutes, then apologise.

HE GROANS I am not starting the clock

until you stay in this chair for four minutes. You get up...

HE GRUMBLES

I'll tell you your choice, then.

I will keep putting you back in that chair for four minutes.

Are you having fun? Cos Mommy's not having fun.

Stop.

Sometimes, James, you make me so angry.

'I'd like to know why Mum gave up so quickly.'

- Where's James gone now? - In his bedroom.

And what do you wanna achieve?

I'm hoping that he's not enjoying this time

and that he'll know next time that he should think twice

before he does things.

How often a day, would you say,

that you've tried to make timeout work?

For James, probably twice to three times a day.

All right, so what is the consequence

for James' inappropriate behaviour?

Cos timeout isn't working for you and James.

- There isn't one, right? - There isn't one.

OK, good answer. It wasn't a trick question.

'It would be so much easier if he would just sit,'

think about what he's done and we could all move on,

'instead of a four-minute timeout going to minutes.

'It's just very exhausting.'

Did you enjoy this whole thing we went through?

'Judy just is not secure

'in how she wants to parent her children.'

It's kinda like fly by the seat of your pants, you know?

I'm getting the impression that, if somebody says

this is the newest version of how to be a parent today,

then that's what she goes with.

'It's :pm, and Mum needs to run an errand,

'which means a full round-up of all five kids.'

- Mommy! - Mommy!

OK, OK, one at a time.

'I can see it's no small thing to get all five dressed

'and out the door.'

I don't wanna go.

'Mum seems overwhelmed by the chaos around her,

'and I'm exhausted just watching.'

'With four kids finally in the car,

'James is the lone straggler.'

SCREAMING

What just happened?

- What is going on? - I want you!

All right, you need to sit in the car. You need to...

Look at me. You need to get your jacket.

I'm not doing that!

'I've noticed that James is quite headstrong.

'He wants to see how much influence he can exert on Mum.

'I think some boundaries and structure

'may benefit him the most.'

- Thank God. 'With Dad home,

'I see an immediate change of feeling in the house.

'Mum seems relieved, and the kids seem to listen to him.'

No hit.

Hey.

Hey! Say you're sorry.

CHILD BABBLES

Say you're sorry for hitting me.

- No. - You wanna go to bed?

'Compared to Mum, Dad's message seems clear.'

- Well, then, say you're sorry. - Sorry.

'Even at dinner, Dad's role is clear.'

Come on, a few more pork chops, James. You're doing very well.

Keep it going, OK?

'As soon as bad behaviour creeps in, Dad quickly puts an end to it.'

If you're not eating, I'm not giving you anything.

I think Kayleigh's doing the best job.

Eamon, if you tilt that plate over, you are going to bed right now.

Daddy! Daddy!

Finn. Knock it off.

'The only time things get a little messy

'is when he leaves the table to Mum for a moment.'

Mommy!

'And once again, Mum looks completely overwhelmed.'

SCREAMING

'I wonder why the kids act so differently

'with Mum than with Dad.'

'It's bedtime at the O'Melias',

'which is definitely a two-person job.'

Declan, you're going in the bath. CHILDREN SCREAM

Everybody in the tub.

CHILD SCREAMS I know.

HE SOBS

'The biggest problem I see with our situation'

is the lack of sleep.

Stay in bed all night, please.

'Every single night, there's a kid waking up

in the middle of the night, coming to our room.'

'I think, as a mother, it's something you should accept,'

that you're not gonna sleep.

'I see that bedtime is certainly making things more difficult

'than they have to be.

'After watching this family struggle through the day,

'I think we have a lot to discuss.'

I'm not here to annihilate you, I'm not here to upset you,

but I'm here to tell you how I see it, OK?

You have, without a shadow of a doubt, five beautiful children,

but I have to say, I've been here one day and I'm exhausted.

THEY LAUGH I don't want to skip a b*at.

I honestly can say I have never, ever, seen anybody

as in desperate need of a schedule as you...

- Mommy! - Mommy!

OK, OK, one at a time.

Oh, I know that.

..because you cannot wing raising five kids.

And for all this to function, you have to be honest

with yourself and with your husband and with your children.

You know, in fairness, you said you're overwhelmed.

There's a lot of stress, being a stay-at-home mom.

What you have to figure out is what works for you.

Earlier in the day, you were using one method,

and then, by the end of the day, you're using another.

I haven't seen one thing consistently.

I know it's not working,

but I don't know what other kind of punishment to do.

- You're like your own worst enemy. - Yes.

One of the things that really concerns me

is that you're not on the same page.

You have a short fuse.

Stop it now, or you're gonna get out.

She has a very, very, very long fuse...

- Yeah. - ..that I wanna clip.

You wanna go apologise now?

You will negotiate till the cows come home.

But you still both don't have a defined style.

I guess, yeah.

Apart from being tired and worn out.

I just think... I agree that we don't have defined style,

but it was also because, having five kids,

you feel like you're putting somebody in timeout

every minute of the day.

Four minutes in the chair. Four minutes.

Four minutes in the chair, James.

And honestly, and unfortunately, till they get it,

you're gonna have to.

If you'd have started earlier and been consistent,

it would be a part of your everyday life.

I mean, I don't think it's too late,

but you've gotta have the constitution to do it.

You have to.

And that's where you're going wrong.

You know, drastically going wrong.

'Well, I've got some new rules for this family,

'and the first thing everyone needs to understand

'is that the parents mean business.'

OK.

So, the first rule is...

Consistency is key for Mum and Dad.

Look, Mum and Dad have got a rule.

This is about when we start our new approach, sticking to it.

OK, my next rule...

Don't negotiate.

Judy, you never lay down the law,

and you just expect the kids to listen.

I will keep putting you back in that chair for four minutes.

You're always ready to have a back-and-forth,

or you just give up.

Another rule.

READS

Mum, that's about you, too.

Tired mums can't parent effectively.

This is one of my favourite ones. Kids take turns.

You do? What does it mean?

Whoa! Good job.

So, from today, we're gonna start doing some good sharing.

OK?

This one's for everybody. We all use inside voices.

HE SCREAMS

No more yelling and screaming at each other, OK?

Even grown-ups.

We are definitely gonna do everything in our power

to stick to the rules that Nanny's given us

to work with the kids. They're that important to us.

This is your reward chart.

'All right, now that we've got our new rules down,

'I want to get Mum and the kids on a schedule -

'a schedule that rewards the children

' for helping out and behaving well.

'That will help cut down the chaos in the house,

'and add some structure to the kids' day.'

The thing about this one, Judy, is it's really clear.

The only requirement is the consistency. OK?

You have to keep on top of it.

Can I tell you what you guys need to start doing?

The first one you've got to do is help each other,

not being mean to each other, help each other.

The other thing that Mum really wants you to do

is clean up after yourselves.

Do you think you can start doing that? OK.

'After getting Nanny's new rules today,'

I feel very good about this, I feel very positive.

Are you guys gonna stay in here and play

while I talk to Mum and Dad?

- Yeah. - We'll be back in a few minutes,

and then we can have some fun time, OK?

You guys stay here. All right, Mum and Dad, I need you.

'One of the things Judy has said from the get-go

'is she wanted someone to help with establishing a schedule.'

If she has something to follow, she's very good at that.

How do you plan your days?

- You don't, right? - I don't.

So we'll move on from that.

I don't have five children at home,

but I write myself lists every day of what I have to achieve.

This is, like, the quickest point of reference for you

on, "Hey, what am I doing next?"

OK.

Eventually, it will become second nature, you know?

All right,

tell me how this is gonna work. am, is that breakfast time?

Yes, that's breakfast and getting dressed.

That's when everyone starts to wake up.

'I think the O'Melia family definitely has what it takes

'to stick to the schedule,'

as long as they work together as a team.

The other thing that we have to figure out is

when you are home, organising some play activity

and things that they can do by themselves.

So you ARE interacting with them,

but you're interacting with them in a time

that you've set aside, you're focused,

that's the time we're gonna do... home-made Play-Doh,

or... you know, we're gonna, you know, do puzzles or...

How many organised things would you do in a day?

And how many would be too much to expect?

I think... I think one organised play a day is fine.

'I think I've been overwhelming her,

'but I think that now I feel confident that she's on board.

'It's still going to be hard, but I feel she's on board.'

Bed and bath time, it's a little bit too harried.

I understand why it's harried, but it is.

That part has to change.

My advice is don't let 'em be watching the TV

an hour before they go to bed, not the computer,

it's too much stimulation.

You know, get them in bed, read a book, wind down, lights out.

Is this making sense?

- Yes, it is making sense. - Does it make you happy?

It makes it look very easy now that it's down on paper.

Way to go.

- Mommy, I'm hungry. - You want a banana?

I want an apple, please.

- Mine, mine! - Yeah, this is you.

That's one. One down, three to go.

I need you to stay in the kitchen.

'Part of reducing chaos in a large family

'is to simplify what you can.

'And having all meals and snacks at the table

'will help Mum keep it together when the kids get hungry.'

Hey, buddy, you can have that banana in your seat.

Everybody's gonna sit at the table.

Eamon, are you all done?

If you wanna eat, we're gonna eat at the table.

OK, well, guess what. You have two choices.

You either eat at the table or give me the cheese.

OK, then I need to take the cheese.

HE WHINES No, I need to take the cheese.

'The kids need to know I mean what I say,

'and their parents mean what they say.'

HE WHINES OK.

That's where you eat the cheese.

OK, if you hit me again, you're going in timeout. OK, let's go.

'And if the kids can't follow, there are consequences.'

'For the discipline in the house, we try to use timeouts,'

but I'm not sure if timeouts really work in this house.

You see this? TIMER: Begin!

When this finishes, you can leave the chair.

'I think Eamon can't believe

'that someone would follow through with any of this,

'but I'm not paying attention to that.'

'We're doing timeout, that's all.'

TIMER: Time's up! OK, did you hear that?

Time's up.

If you wanna go eat the cheese, you can go to the table.

'Message received, loud and clear.'

It's early in the afternoon,

and we're going to work on our sharing rule.

DECLAN SCREAMS

All right, Declan. Declan, guess what. Thank you.

It's now Eamon's turn.

Thank you. Your turn.

DECLAN CRIES

HE SCREAMS

'But there's something else going on with Declan

'that's making him so irritable,

'and we might need to address that first.'

He seems tired to me all the time.

I mean... HE SCREAMS

..you can read that at yards. That's tired.

And everything is escalated when we're tired.

'Sleeping through the night is very rare in this house.

'If it's not Finn waking up, it will be Declan waking up,

'which is kinda bad,'

cos sometimes, I'm a walking zombie

and I don't really get much done at night.

- Hello. - Oh, Daddy's home.

We're gonna have dinner now.

'Coming into the house

'is like jumping onto a running treadmill.

'You gotta, at full speed, just run at it and get on it'

and keep your balance and catch up.

DECLAN SCREAMS Declan.

CHILDREN SCREAM Listen, listen.

You do not scream like that, you understand?

Inside voice. Or you go away from the table.

'With Dad home, I'm seeing more of Mum's resolve -

'a big effort on her part to be consistent with him.'

From now on, when we're done eating,

we're gonna be asked to be excused from the table.

Cos you guys are old enough to know that now. OK?

The next thing you're gonna have to do is take your plate

and put it on the counter.

'Nanny Stella told us consistency is key,

'and that's definitely where my husband and I were lacking.'

And now, we know to definitely come at it as a united front.

'I'd call this a successful family meal,

'and the kids get rewarded for their good behaviour.'

Did you help clear off the table? CHILD BABBLES

- You helped clean up the table too? - Me too!

'A positive consequence for good behaviour

'is just as important as a negative one for bad behaviour.

'With both parents working together to get the kids to bed,

'the process is moving along.'

Good night.

'However, the problems I noticed earlier with Declan...'

HE SCREAMS

You can read that at yards. That's tired.

'..are now coming into full view.'

HE SOBS

HE CRIES

I wanna take it off!

- You're not gonna take it off. - I want to!

CHILDREN SCREAM

So, this is another one of our battle scars, right?

Because he's so exhausted, he can't be rational.

Declan, come on, I got your Binky.

Do you want your Binky, Declan?

Come on down, pick up your blankie.

I got it right in my hand, I got it right in my hand.

Now, what are you gonna do, Declan?

Stay in bed all night, right?

'Mum thinks she's done with Declan,

'and can grab a breather with Kayleigh.

'Unfortunately, Declan has other ideas.'

DECLAN SCREAMS

- Stay in bed all night, Declan. - Mommy!

This is not staying in bed all night, this is not staying in bed...

'I don't know if it's how she says it or what she's saying...'

You need to close your eyes and you need to go to sleep.

'..but somehow, Mum's got to make the kids believe

'she means business.'

SCREAMING

He's coming out. So yeah, he has to go back in his bed.

'But somehow, Mum doesn't make this happen on her own.

'She keeps leaning on Dad to enforce things.

'I want to know what is getting in the way

'of Mum believing in her own authority.'

'Morning brings more challenges,

'as Mum tries to convince Declan

'to change out of his dirty shirt.'

No! HE SCREAMS

- Come here. - No!

HE CRIES

D'you wanna change your shirt?

No, I don't wanna!

- You want a different number shirt? - No!

If you want a shirt like Eamon's,

Mommy's gotta wash it. HE WHINES

I'll tell you what, you can wear it tomorrow.

'OK, let's figure this out.

'Let's give Mum some energy here

'before we have a full-on tantrum to deal with.'

Can I ask you a question? Right now, he's whining.

He's whining, disgruntled, he's not being very pleasant.

Get down to him on his level, communicate with him clearly,

give him two choices, and move on.

OK. Listen, buddy, come here.

How about we go pick out another shirt?

I gonna get two shirts, you can pick the one you want. OK?

HE SCREAMS

You can leave that shirt on or you can put this shirt on.

- Those are the two choices. OK? - I want this shirt!

OK, so this is what I'd advise now.

I'm not asking you to not nurture your children,

but I'd just ignore him right now. I just...

You know, it's that shirt or that shirt. That's it.

OK. OK.

'Mum can do this, but I think she may be worried

'about coming off as the bad guy,

'and that's not what parenting is about.'

Is this... Does he normally whine and perform to that level

even when he's not tired?

He's very headstrong, he could scream for half an hour.

He just keeps going, over the simplest thing.

It's how you react to it that counts.

I mean, you picked him up, you were carrying him around,

you were asking him, you were negotiating.

The reason why I compromise with my children

is because I don't want it to be,

"This is what you need to do, end of story."

You definitely don't have the time to buy into that...

- OK. - ..every day. You don't.

OK.

'Later on, the brothers have moved on to another activity.'

- I wanna watch TV. - You know what you could do?

Why don't you get the train tracks and build a train track?

'OK, I think Mum has more of a sense

'of what I'm trying to do with her now...'

OK, here we go.

'..and that's good, because here comes James again.'

JAMES SCREAMS Listen to me.

Listen to me.

- Did that solve the problem? - I was on it first.

You kick the tracks again and you're gonna to go in timeout.

OK, let's finish the... JAMES SCREAMS

James. Look at me.

JAMES WHINES

I need to take you away from this right now.

Uh-uh!

- Yes. - No!

I asked you not to hit the tracks again, right?

'Well, it took a while, but it looks like

'Mum is going to give James a consequence for his behaviour.'

OK, I'm starting this right now.

'At least, I hope she is.'

There you go.

You need to stay in this chair. I'm gonna start the timer

and you need to stay in the chair until the timer goes off.

'It's been almost half an hour

'of Mum trying to keep James in place

'so she can give him his timeout.'

I'm starting this right now.

'But just like earlier, he knows he can wait her out.'

This is where you need to sit, and this...

I don't want that!

'We're going to undo this.'

James, come on.

'We're going to follow through,

'and Mum is going to see what it takes.'

So, you just sit on that chair

and wait till that timer tells you to leave.

'James is a tough case,

'but that's why I'm here, and I can do this all day.'

OK, listen to me very carefully.

Do not move the chair and do not get off the chair.

You're gonna sit and wait till that timer tells you to leave.

OK, you took your tush off the seat,

so we're gonna put it back on, you're gonna sit there.

I'm gonna stay here and get you to learn timeout.

TIMER: Time's up!

OK, listen, thank you for sitting on your seat.

The next time, you don't kick the wall,

you don't get off the seat, and you don't move the seat.

All right?

You can now go back and play. You're all done. Go on.

'The kids have homework now,

'but after my timeout battle with James,

'I'm sensing he's not quite done testing us yet.'

I'm supposed to help them with their speech homework

two to three times a week.

'With James, it's gotten to be so difficult that,

'within the last month, I've done it two-to-three times.'

Let's sit down.

Let's sit down.

What letter are we doing?

This letter or this letter?

- Come on, Declan! - No way.

'I think he's a bit confused that he couldn't wear me out

'like he's used to doing with Mum.'

What is...? Hey, James, what's this word?

- No. - No, OK, well, listen.

James, if you don't come and do your homework,

you have to go into timeout, so you make the choice.

No.

You don't want to do either?

I don't have any more options for you, sweetheart.

'Looks like I'm in for one more fight.'

Like you did before, you sit on your chair,

you do your four minutes, then you go back to do your homework.

'Here I go again.'

It's not the corner, it's this chair.

I don't wanna sit down!

STELLA HUMS

Oh! You're a big baby!

'The hardest moment for me

'was watching James have his meltdown,

'watching the nanny keep putting him back.'

Getting through to him, sometimes, is very difficult.

Good. Sit right there.

Sit right there. CLATTERING

Oh, that hurt me.

Nanny's in charge, OK? Mummy says the chair goes there,

the chair goes there, and your bottom goes on that chair.

- No! - Yes.

I need to remind Judy and Jim

it's the parents that make the decisions in the house,

not the children.

I don't wanna give up on this.

Do you have the constitution to do this? You, personally.

'I know Mum can do this, and I really want her to try

'instead of watching from the sidelines.'

'But I see that James is wearing her down,

'and this just isn't the time to give in.'

When the timer goes off, you can get out of the chair.

If you get out of the chair, I'll have to restart the timer.

There you go.

TIMER: Time's up!

- OK, James. - OK. Go ahead, you can play now.

Good job.

'No sooner had I won the battle with James

'when another restless child appeared ready to wage w*r.'

They had lunch at : instead of o'clock.

Mommy!

- Yes, Eamon, how can I help you? - I'm hungry.

In a little while, we will have a snack, OK?

CABINET CLATTERS

CLATTERING CONTINUES

Listen... kicking the cabi...

Kicking the cabinets is not acceptable either. OK?

It's not acceptable.

So you need to stop this behaviour and you need to move on.

Right now, we're doing playtime.

Well, then, you can sit and read.

And when I am ready to play for a snack,

- we will have a snack then. - No.

OK, that's it, that's it.

Thanks, move away, good job. Let's go. Thank you.

Excellent.

You see, what I'm seeing is you getting pulled in.

If I hadn't have asked you to leave,

you'd still be in there negotiating with him.

And he'd be grabbing on your leg. You know?

You don't have that option with five of 'em.

Judy, you're doing a great job. You're doing a great job.

What are you stressed about?

It's just overwhelming.

I think a lot of moms have the misconception that, you know,

you're gonna have a child, raise the child right,

the child's gonna listen to you,

and everything's gonna go nice and smooth.

- And it is anything but that. - Come and sit down for a minute.

'I feel that Judy's really extreme

'in her assessment of how things are going.'

Let me just gather my thoughts.

It's hard to stay on top of it, because there are...

Like, it seems like one after the other, one after the other.

It's...

Right.

The hardest thing about being a mother for me

is second-guessing myself.

'I think that she's already her own worst enemy'

and continually b*ating herself with twigs.

'You get no pat on the back'

on a daily basis, saying "job well done",

or "you're doing this right", or "this is OK",

no book with rules to follow.

'It's a lot of work and it's very exhausting.'

'But what she needs to understand is how far she's come,

'how hard she works and what she's accomplished.'

There is no perfect parent and there's no perfect children.

- Have a breather. - Yes.

Then I'm gonna come back in

and we're gonna plough on with the afternoon.

- All right? - OK, thank you.

It's gonna be OK. All right?

I promise you. It's gonna be OK.

- I see that, I do. - OK.

'It's my last day with the O'Melias, and after our talk,

'I think that Judy has more pep in her step.'

So, this part's from last night, yeah?

So, did everybody sleep through the night?

- Everybody slept through the night. - They did?

Yes, I was actually the first one up in the house.

Yes!

'With a full night's sleep,

'Mum now has the energy to take on some big challenges.'

We're gonna do these two pages, OK?

Here we go. Life. HE MUMBLES

Very good. Lion.

OK, look how fast we're going now.

James is a tough nut to cr*ck,

but he's actually made a lot of progress.

- Lifeguard. - Life... guard.

- Very good. Lip. - Lip.

- Loaf. - Loaf.

'Now I know that I gotta stop negotiating,'

that will take the chaos out of our lives,

and it will be better for them and better for me.

You did this in the time it would take to do one timeout.

See? BELL RINGS

You did it. Now you can go play.

'I think Judy's come to the realisation that,'

you know, the children aren't babies any more,

and you know, she can have an expectation of their behaviour,

and they are capable of doing it.

'Before I leave, the O'Melia family sits down for a meal.'

Dah!

- Yeah, buddy? - I think he's saying "ta-dah."

- Ta-dah? - Ta-dah!

Ta-dah!

'I feel that my family's definitely on the road'

to being a much happier family, and I feel that me, myself,

I'm on the road to being a much happier me.

Mommy? Can you be excused to go potty?

Yes, you can.

Good manners.

I have to say, all in all, you guys are doing a very good job.

'The confidence that the nanny's given Judy'

has really given her an affirmation

to do what she needs to do and not feel so overwhelmed.

Declan, can you please take that spoon out of your mouth?

That's gonna hurt your teeth. Take it out of your mouth.

- Declan! - Declan. Being warned.

Don't do it again, or you're gonna have to go in timeout.

'It's great to see Dad backing Mum so strongly,

'and the kids reacting so well.'

James, you did an excellent job eating today.

Do you want some more apple juice?

- Do you want...? - Apple juice.

- Please. - Please.

- Where you going? - You can be excused from the table.

It felt so nice to have a quiet dinner.

'And knowing that the kids now know the new rule,

'that they have to ask to be excused from the table,

'and they were actually doing it,'

it's so wonderful.

How about we look at the board right now?

Because I think we did a very good job right now.

KAYLEIGH: I did, I did...

Kayleigh, you definitely did an excellent job with sharing.

CHILDREN BABBLE

- Did you clean up, Eamon? - I cleaned up!

RATTLING

Kayleigh's first one for sharing is a...

KAYLEIGH: Sun! - ..sun.

'With the rewards chart that we have,'

I can definitely say that there has been a dramatic change.

'Now they're all willing to clean up their messes,

'to help each other out.'

It's a great improvement.

'I'm proud of the progress Judy and her family have made,

'but now it's time for me to say goodbye.'

I have to leave today and go and help another family, all right?

So I want to say thank you for having me. I've had some fun.

I hope you guys have had some fun too.

But I want to know, do you think you're gonna stick to the rules?

- Yes. - You are?

Kayleigh, you're gonna stick to the rules?

Eamon's gonna stick to the rules.

'Nanny Stella, she came in and really just worked a miracle.'

She's solved problems that have taken us years to figure out.

Finn, are you gonna stick to the rules?

- Yes. - He doesn't know them.

Well, you're gonna help teach him, right?

I really am so proud

of just the changes that my kids have made.

'It's such a difference to see us work together as a team.'

All right, I want you to keep in touch and stay on track.

Or else, when you least expect it, I'll be back.

Before Nanny Stella came,

my confidence was definitely shaken,

'but now I do feel the confidence coming back.

'I can make this work'

and be a really good mother to my five kids.

And that's exactly what she was looking for.

She was kinda floundering around, looking for help,

and I think she got exactly what she was looking for.

- Bye, Nanny. - Bye, Nanny.

- Goodbye. - Bye, Nanny!

'My hopes for this family are that they do stay on track.

'If they see the results that they're getting,

'I think they'll definitely stick to it.'