04x15 - Schrage Family
Posted: 03/17/24 11:26
Tonight on "supernanny," jo visits the schrages...
(Screams) a family with three wild girls...
No! (Screams)
(Man) stop! (Boing)
Who vandalize the walls of their home with graffiti.
(Woman) stop. And after four years,
The youngest still won't give up her pacifier.
No paci.
The family has a bizarre bedtime ritual
That has kept dad and mom from sleeping together
For eight years.
I'm surprised they're still together, to be honest with you.
Can jo get dad back in bed with his wife?
Well, there's a first for everything. Good night.
Will she help mom get in control?
You're not messing around. This is serious.
And can jo conquer her fears in order to help this family
Fly to new heights? Whoo!
Or will this family fall back to earth?
It's all over. No.
*****
* Be good, be good *
* Be good, be good, be good *
* Be good, be good, be good *
* Be good, be good, be good * * johnny *
* Be good, be good, be good *
* Be good, be good, be good *
* Be good, be good, be good *
* Be good, be good, be good * * johnny *
* Johnny *
(Bell tolls)
*****
Can't wait to see what's in store for me this week.
Let's take a look.
Hi. We're the schrage family.
I'm kyle. I'm christy.
We have daughters-- ellie, who is ...
Hi! (Screams)
Emma, who is ... No!
Hey! Ohh!
And cara, who is . (Screeching)
Ow!
I work for a sales office in nashville, tennessee.
Hi.
I am a stay-at-home mom.
Ooh. (Laughs)
They're just wild. They don't listen.
You get down. You know better.
No! (Speaks indistinctly) stop it.
Our children have gotten to the point
Where they control christy.
Yeah! No.
Yeah! Ooh!
These kids can just obviously do what they want to do.
I mean, you know,
There's no discipline in this house, is there?
*****
(Kyle) the entire wall system in our upstairs
Has an assortment of wonderful, beautiful crayons
And markers and pencil marks. It's lack of respect.
There is no way I would allow this. Are you kidding me?
Look at the graffiti on the walls!
(Singsongy) cara gots a paci.
Cara is years old,
And she still has a paci.
My purple paci!
Oh, this is a joke. That paci's got to go.
(Chuckles)
She has an addiction.
(Squeaking) (kyle) get ready for bed.
When nighttime comes... (Shrieks)
And it's time for "bed," they will not go upstairs
And go to sleep in their beds.
(Laughs) is anybody else tired?
The children go to bed when they want to go to bed,
Or when christy is ready to go to bed... No!
We will force one or two of 'em in there.
(Shrieks)
It has been eight years since we've been in the same bed.
(Clock ticking)
They don't even sleep together-- mom and dad. Look.
You go in there.
Whee!
There is no way that this family
Can be getting a proper night's sleep.
This has got to change.
It can't go on like this any longer.
I mean, ican't go on like this any longer.
I just feel like we have to fix it right now. (Grunts)
What? Oh, yeah!
Supernanny, come on, we need your help! Supernanny, we need your help!
Can you put your foot on it, driver, please?
We'd better get there quick!
*****
Hello.
Hi. Pleased to meet you. I'm jo.
I'm christy. Hi.
When jo knocked on the door,
It was only the girls and I at home.
Kyle was still at work,
And I was really quite nervous.
The mom was very shy when I first met her.
But she did introduce me to her daughters.
Ellie! It's supernanny!
This is cara. She's . This is cara. Hi, cara.
This is your sister? Hi, pleased to meet you. I'm jo.
Then she asked me if I'd like
To look around the house, and I was curious to do so.
Oh, great. I see the kids did the interior design. Yes, they did.
And I saw, well, let's face it, graffiti.
*****
What've we got here? Hmm. (Christy) that's ellie's name, but this is not her room.
There was, uh,
Lots of colorful artwork that'd just been scribbled,
And it was on the carpets as well.
So they--they've done it. Do they have permission to do it?
I've got to ask. They don't have permission.
They do it when I'm not looking.
Do you reinforce any form of discipline
At all with the girls? Well, yeah, but they still do it.
So this lady had clearly allowed her children to do this
To the walls of their bedroom without consent.
After seeing all the artwork, I was introduced to memaw.
Is your space respected?
Uh, sometimes, and sometimes not.
Memaw is christy's mother, and she lives with them.
So this is like your little annex area. This is your...
(Memaw laughs) this is your little space here.
And I'm very grateful that I have
The opportunity to be that close to my grandchildren,
But sometimes you can be a littletoo close.
(Jo) memaw doesn't have any privacy.
The kids just cross those boundaries
And go into her space.
I think memaw would like the kids
To respect her privacy,
To knock on the door before they go in.
They will even lay down on the ground and kick at the door
If memaw doesn't let 'em in.
Ow!
Is someone missing a paci?
Whose is this?
Me. This belongs to you?
Cara's main issue is probably the pacifier.
Her whole mouth is starting to look funny because of it.
Her teeth are sticking way out.
Oh. (Christy) are you too big for a paci?
So--so how many of these do you have? (Emma) a lot.
Five. She has a green one, a blue one, a red and yellow one...
(Christy) uh-huh. Two blue and red ones...
(Christy) hey, I think we get it.
Have you ever made attempts to--to dispose of the pacifier?
With the other two, when we took it away,
They stopped crying, like, after one night. They were fine. Right.
But she didn't stop. She just kept on and on and on.
Yeah. And it's--it's my fault.
I-i weakened and gave it back to her
So we could get some sleep. Right.
Mom's right.
Years old and using a pacifier is way too old.
So it looks like we'll have to put a stop to that.
It shows mom unable to complete any task
And to follow through.
(Children shouting indistinctly)
Right there!
I had just gotten really good at just kind of
Gettin' up every day and living
And not feeling anything, and then the same thing
Happening the next day.
*****
*****
(Jo) seeing mom reading while the kids were outside,
Bored and restless, was sad.
It was very obvious that mom was stuck in a bad rut.
What--what do you kind of do around this time?
I usually just pick up aft-- pick up after them... (Laughs)
Or do laundry or, um...
She's unsure,
Unconfident,
Unenthusiastic about motherhood.
Little bit... Vague.
Kind of not really there.
Coming up on...
Dad confesses an embarrassing secret...
When was the last time you slept in your own bed? Seven to eight years.
That's just madness to me.
And jo reacts to the strangest sleeping arrangement
She has ever seen.
I'm surprised they're still together, to be honest with you.
When "supernanny" returns.
* Be good, be good *
(Jo) mom's very detached,
And it made me want to sit down and talk to her about it...
Come and sit down with me.
And see if the cause wasn't the sleep deprivation
That she had mentioned in submission.
So what has been the effect
Of lack of sleep?
I'm just exhausted.
When it comes down to being, like, the wife and the mother
And the--the--anything that requires an organizational,
Fit-into-a-little-mold thing, I'm not--i'm not good,
And it just--it--it just makes life really hard for me.
I just, like, I'm constantly treading water or something.
I think that's the way I feel.
And i-i don't know.
I always have a fear of, um, disappointing people.
Mm. Because you want people to like you.
Yes.
What other things make you fearful?
Like heights make me a bit queasy. Yeah, I have that one.
You have that one? That makes me feel a bit queasy. (Chuckles)
Fear has become a comfort for christy.
It's a false security.
It's stopped her from moving forward
And empowering herself to really make some really good changes.
*****
Hi, girls.
(Christy) hi.
Hello. Hello.
Pleased to meet you. Jo. I'm kyle. Nice to meet you.
Once dad came home, they all had dinner,
And then the kids started to get ready for bedtime,
Which was interesting, to say the least.
Cara, come on. Pajama time. Pajamas on!
So "pajamas on!" Is literally the beginning of bedtime,
Is that correct? Yes, that's correct.
Right.
Ellie, go get your pajamas.
I have to lay down between ellie and emma
To get them to go to sleep.
Are you going to sleep? Am I saying good night to you now?
Okay, well, good night then.
Good night. Good night. (Laughing)
Bye-bye. I'll tell you what, this is a first.
I've never had to tuck in a family that I was visiting
On my observation day. (Kyle laughs)
Well, there's a first for everything. Good night.
I mean, I've never been in to a household
Where I've switched the lights out on a parent
Tucked in cozy with her daughters.
I found that absolutely bizarre.
So no--
No evening together?
No-- no.
With the children being in the bed, uh,
My wife and I don't get any time--couples time--
Uh, not only just to talk,
But just to sleep together, to be with one another.
Um, it's--it's amazing wehave three children.
I don't know how it happened, but it--it did.
Gotta ask you this question. I have to.
When was the last time you slept in your own bed?
It's probably been about seven to eight years.
Seven, eight years?
(Chuckles) yeah. Yeah.
That's just madness to me. Absolutely insane.
How did you have children?
Did you meet on the way to the bathroom?
I... (Laughs) funny you should say that.
I sit out on the couch with this--the year old, cara,
And watch a movie
Until she falls asleep or we both fall asleep.
Uh, and then anywhere from : to : in the morning,
I move the year old, ellie, upstairs into a bed...
Move the year old, cara, into christy's bed...
And I go upstairs and sleep in a separate bed.
So believe it or not,
This is where dad will end up tonight.
I mean, how crazy is that?
Seriously, it's like musical beds.
Dad hasn't slept in his own bed properly for eight years.
I'm surprised they're still together,
To be honest with you.
It was embarrassing with her
Looking right in your eyes in unbelief
That I have to go into a bed without my wife, by myself,
And roll over and go to sleep.
Tomorrow morning, need a meeting.
Okay. There's stuff that needs to be addressed and spoken about.
Okay? Okay.
All right, then. Great. Good night.
Um, hey, go upstairs. I'll see myself out. Don't worry. Okay. (Laughs)
Good night. Good night.
*****
Really, the lack of respect for the house
With regards to the children
Graffitiing all over the walls...
Well, it's even worse than that,
Because they wouldn't even consider doing that
At somebody else's house.
It's just here. They know. They just don't respect their home.
But let's talk about something wider than that as well.
If there's no discipline in the house,
Then you're not putting in place rules,
Boundaries and consequence.
So how are you teaching, fundamentally,
Those values that you want to instill?
We don't. You're correct.
Then how are you doing your job as a parent?
We're not.
Cara with a paci,
At her age,
Has gone beyond the use of why we would use pacies,
And it's gotta go.
She's not a baby.
No, I know it. I know it has to go. (Sniffles)
But it means that you've got to find the strength...
Right. To recognize,
And an understanding ofwhy it has to go.
Because allowing her to become more mature
And to be the age that she is
Leaves the fear of you possibly not getting
What you get from her emotionally and physically,
Because you need that
Because it's absent in your relationship.
Correct?
Bedtimes are always interesting.
I'll tell you what, though, it's the first time I've ever
Had to shut the light down and say good night to a parent
On my first night of observing a family.
Couldn't believe what I was seeing. That's crazy.
I--i've gotta ask. You know, what are you thinking?
I think that we're just too tired
To--to fight,
So it's easier to just let them go where they want
And then adapt around them.
The fact that you have both not had a good night's sleep
In--well, I can't say days. Let's say years--
Has manifested itself into so much negativity.
And sleep deprivation
Will take a toll on you physically,
And then it will break you down mentally,
And then it will have you go, "stop."
We're already there.
Christy, there's no fun in the house.
Where's the fun?
The lethargicness,
Not wanting to be enthusiastic about parenthood--
This is all really about you.
So how do you encourage
And be a positive role model as a woman
For three females in your house?
I'm not doing a real good job at all.
(Clears throat)
Fear's got you good.
It's got you right there, sold.
So between the three of us, we are going to make change.
Give me your hand. (Chuckles)
Yeah? Yeah.
We in? Mm-hmm.
We in? Yes.
All right, let's do this,
Because we haven't got time to waste here.
We need to change things drastically. Okay.
Coming up on...
Jo cracks down on the girls...
You are not messing around. This is serious.
And why is jo flying through the air?
Whoo!
When "supernanny" returns.
* Be good, be good *
*****
(Jo) on my first day of teaching, I wanted to
Knock this family completely out of their comfort zone
And start off with a bang. (Jo and christy) hi.
So I addressed as many of their issues as I could.
I started off by setting up
A really strict routine for this family to follow.
It will allow you to parent successfully every day,
And ultimately feel in control.
I need to learn how to organize,
And I need to learn how to make things better for me,
And this routine will be good for the whole family.
All right, so I'm look--
Really looking forward to-- to starting with this routine.
(Jo) I followed that up by having memaw
Make up signs for her door...
These are my new door signs.
So that her space could be respected. What does that say?
"Now." "Now."
Which means what? (Ellie) you can come in!
That you can come in.
Uh, but if I am doing things that I want to be by myself,
Then I say...
"Later."
"Later."
(Jo) and for the grand finale,
I wanted to challenge mom's fear of heights...
I am very scared of heights. (Jo) because I knew that if she could get over that,
Then the fear of displeasing her children
Won't be so bad after all.
I thought, oh, no. I'm gonna have to jump off that thing.
I was just feeling like I'm scared of heights,
And I don't want to do this.
She could have turned around and said to me,
"Well, what about you then?"
So i-i wanted to show her that I was willing to grow as well
And face my own fears of heights.
(Jo) so are you ready? Mm, yeah. As ready as I'll ever be. (Chuckles)
(Man) one, two, three, go.
Whoo! (Giggling)
*****
(Christy) jo wanted me to know that I could conquer the fear
Of my life and parenting.
The zip line showed me that I can do it.
Yes!
(Jo) christy did it, and she was really pleased with herself
That she came down from that tower.
So now it shouldn't be so bad,
Her having the courage to discipline her children, right?
You did good, too. (Chuckles) (chuckles)
After mom's blood was pumping
From coming down from that zip line,
I could see that she was very proud of herself.
So now it's time to start establishing some house rules,
And I'm gonna do something really unique here,
Because what I'm going to do is give the parents
One set of house rules and grandma another.
No rules, no boundaries in this house.
Therefore, no control.
So now what we're going to do is to establish house rules.
We're also going to establish rules for memaw's space.
We all sat down at the table
And wrote out a list of h-house rules.
No hurting each other. Okay. Respect.
I think it's very helpful, because if the kids act up,
You can go straight to that rules board
And say, "this is what you're doing wrong,
And this is why you're getting in trouble."
So your memaw's rules are an extension of the house rules,
So there will be things here that you'll look
And say, "yes, I certainly want those in my space, too."
Have respect for my apartment.
That's it. Sing it, memaw. Exactly.
Uh, the rules will work very well.
No... I call it fighting. Right. You put it then.
If that's what you call it, you--you write it down.
(Jo) memaw will have her rules to go in her apartment,
So that she's very much a part of the family
And the third adult,
And the kids will respect her rules, too.
Great, so I'll get you to pull the kids in... (Kyle) okay.
And, uh, let's go for the house rules. All right.
After we set up the rules, we had the kids come in,
So the parents could explain to them
Absolutely clearly what was going to change.
"Sleep and stay in your own bed."
(Jo) and as from tomorrow, we will be doing that. (Kyle) okay.
Okay? That sleep and stay in the bed.
Any opportunity I get to have mom
Really explain to the kids that she expects
Certain behavior from them,
Brings her one step closer to showing these kids
She's their mother first.
"Listen and do as you are told."
We'll explain what we want you to do,
And then you do it.
Okay, so we'll go through memaw's rules.
"Respect privacy"
And "don't bother my things."
(Jo) memaw was spot-on.
She explained very clearly her rules
And what she expected. She did a great job.
Okay, so let's put the rules up.
Now we've established the rules,
It's important to bring in discipline
So if these kids misbehave,
They'll know exactly what to expect.
If these rules are broken,
There are gonna be consequences, okay?
You're gonna end up doing time-outs.
So this is how it works-- you'll give the kids a warning.
You will make a very conscious effort
Of coming down to their level.
Low-toned voice, because you're not happy.
You're exercising your authority,
But only verbally. Mm-hmm.
If they choose to carry on with that behavior,
Then what I want you to do is to pick a spot
And send 'em there.
They'll stay there one minute per year of their age,
You'll explainwhy,
And then you'll receive an apology for their behavior.
After explaining discipline to mom,
She was able to apply the technique.
Can you help me clean up the table?
(Crying) I will. Just a minute.
No, you just wanna-- you just wanna play in the soap.
When mom expected cara to clean up after lunch,
She tried to escape into memaw's house.
All she needs to do is get the fork and the spoon.
No, no, no, no, no.
What's going on?
(Christy) come on. (Girl) are you ready?
(Kyle) get up.
You've got to go to the step.
(Kyle) okay. (Speaks indistinctly)
I'm putting you on the step
Because you were not listening to me,
So you're gonna stay on here for four minutes,
And I'm gonna set the timer.
I would remove her paci as well, 'cause that's a pacifier.
No paci when you're on the step. Nothing.
Mom did fine putting cara on the naughty step,
But she can't be afraid to speak authoritatively,
Otherwise it's not gonna work.
This is cara saying, "I don't need to listen to you."
Who's the parent who's in charge,
And who needs to show cara?
If she doesn't make this distinction between
When she's being serious and when she's having fun,
Then how is cara to know any different?
It's just really no way for mom to show
That she doesn't want that behavior,
And she needs it to stop right now.
Did she leave again? (Groans)
I think I had to put cara on the naughty spot about times.
So every time she comes back up here,
What do you think she's gonna do?
Hide. Exactly.
Mom just wasn't showing cara that she meant business,
So I decided to show her exactly how it should be done.
Okay, you're not carrying her down
Because she's a big girl, and that exhausts you.
Because you have to carry her by the hand,
And you're bringing her down
Because you're not messing around.
This is serious, okay?
And she's misbehaving.
So I'd place cara in a naughty corner
So she couldn't keep running up them steps.
Okay, set the alarm,
And she'll do what she's told.
Cara finally stayed in that spot for her four minutes,
And now she definitely doesn't want to go back,
So it definitely worked.
Are you sorry? All right, give me a hug.
(Laughs)
Coming up on...
This is what we're going to do.
We are gonna deal with these pacies once and for all.
Jo forces cara to go cold turkey,
And when the bedtime routine changes,
It's tirades and tantrums...
(Crying) I don't want to go to bed.
When "supernanny" returns.
* Be good, be good *
*****
(Jo) the next day,
It was all about tackling cara's paci issue.
I believe that children shouldn't be using a paci
Past the age of ,
And I know that most dentists would agree with me.
This is what we're going to do.
We are gonna deal with these pacies once and for all. (Laughs)
(Kyle) in the past, our failed attempts
With cara and the paci were not really cara's fault.
They were, I believe, christy not wanting cara to grow up.
So we are going to have
A paci hunt throughout the house,
And we are going to put all the pacies into this jar... (Girl) oh, no.
And today you are going to give up the paci
Because you don't need it anymore.
You're a big girl.
Let's see how many we can get each.
I'm gonna leave this in here,
And we'll put them in there when we find 'em. Ready?
I'm looking first. I know I'm off. Is everybody looking?
(Kyle) go on. Where's your green one? I got one.
Go. Go. Whew! Look under the bed.
(Jo) and memaw's looking. There you go. Eight.
(Ellie) go, go, go.
(Kyle) check under the counter here. Yeah!
(Ellie) I got two. There might be one in the car.
Aha. Here, look. It's the blue one!
(Cheering)
The thing is that parents get stuck in a rut,
And they give up too early.
If only they would look
To dealing with this issue with a new approach,
Then they would resolve the situation.
And I think that was the case with cara's pacifier.
What we're gonna do is we're gonna put these
In the trash can. We're gonna throw 'em away.
Putting them all in a jar
And having cara throw away the pacifiers was really neat.
(Christy) over here.
(Jo) there she goes!
(Cheering)
(Christy) I mean, I wanted 'em to go,
So I was happy about that.
It's fun ha-having no pacies.
Come here, big girl. Mwah! (Laughs)
Now you're a big girl!
She threw the pacies away,
And she brought it up a couple of times,
And then she moved on, and, you know,
Sometimes it's--that's just how it is with kids.
Resolving the situation with cara and the paci
Shows that if these parents choose not to sit back
And accept the status quo, then things will change,
And I wanted to use this momentum
To stop these girls from drawing on those walls.
Jo came up with a really neat idea.
She had built three little frames,
And in the frame there were big pieces of office paper.
As you will see, each pad tears off,
And then just replace it.
(Jo) now that I'd briefed mom and dad
About how the drawing pads would work,
It was time for them to explain it to the kids.
Mom and dad, do you want to explain what we've got?
This is ellie's pad of paper, that's emma's pad of paper,
And that last one is cara's pad of paper. Yay.
That's right. But guess what it's really for.
(Girls) what?
See all that stuff on the wall?
Well,this is to keep you girls from doingthat,
Okay?
And we don't want to see any more writing on the walls,
All right? Where's the box of crayons?
I'll go get it! (Laughs)
(Kyle) oh, there's crayons. Now with the wall murals,
Nobody will be writing on the wall anymore.
A little eyeball, little eyelashes
And abig smile.
The wall mural was a great success,
However, I still need to tackle this family's biggest issue,
And that's bedtime,
And now cara doesn't have a pacifier to soothe her.
Will it be drama?
So tonight there's a new bedtime routine,
And the bedtime routine is going to be about you girls
Feeling very safe and secure in your own bedrooms.
Where do I begin with bedtime? It's just insane, really.
It's created such sleep deprivation,
That it's destructive to the whole family.
In a couple of minutes, cara is gonna go and get washed,
And she's gonna have stories read to her.
You girls are gonna go and take a shower or bath.
Giving the girls a bedtime routine
Where it's staggered, so they all go to bed
At different times, which allows the parents
To wind them down and to read stories to them
Just allows the whole process of bedtime
To happen much smoother than what it was before.
"Aladdin and abu gasped as they saw
All the gold and jewels in the cavern."
You know, can you lay down? (Crying) no.
No.
(Laughing) she's not sleeping.
(Jo) sorry?
She says she's gonna sleep later. Oh, she did, did she?
Mm-hmm. This is what you are going to do, okay?
The stay-in-bed technique, okay?
When she comes out the first time,
You say to her, "it's bedtime, darling."
Tuck her in, then come out.
The second time, you say-- it's just "bedtime."
The third time, you say nothing.
(Crying)
Good night, cara.
Mom placed cara into bed, and she came out straightaway,
And then it really was tantrums and tiaras.
She didn't want to be going to bed on her own.
(Crying) mom.
(Continues crying)
It's bedtime.
(Crying)
(Screams)
She continued to cry, and mom sat on the sofa.
Her heart was just really feeling emotionally
What cara was going through.
Tell me. Tell yourself. Why are we doing this?
Why are we doing this?
(Cara continues crying)
Oh, because it's... Well, it has to be done.
Don't give me the answers that you've--
That you've memorized from listening to me.
Really think about why we're doing this.
I needed mom's attention,
For her to focus on why it is important
That these kids get to sleep
And that she gets a good night's sleep as well.
It's just not easy. No, it's not, but know it's only change,
Know it's not because she's going...
(Whiny voice) "oh, you're so mean.
"You're a mean mommy.
You don't love me. You're abandoning me."
(Normal voice) that's not that cry.
(Christy) I was feeling very, very sad.
I could never have done that without jo there.
With cara already down, dad put the other two girls to bed,
And whilst I was talking to mom,
I realized that within an hour,
All three were asleep.
Oh, look at that. Your kids are in their own beds.
You know, :, and lights were out for everyone.
Mom and dad came downstairs
And really didn't know what to do with themselves.
I'm leaving for a couple of days.
This is about you guys
Putting in the techniques and continuing,
Because soon, I'm gonna be going for good,
So this is an important part of what we're doing here.
I'm nervous about when jo leaves,
That we'll resort back to our old ways.
Thank you. You're welcome.
(Jo) I knew that once I weren't around,
That mom would really have to step it up,
But this was the first time that I was going to be leaving
Mom and dad alone by themselves...
(Whispers) in eight years.
Stay there and just hug one another.
Coming up on...
(Crying) as soon as jo leaves,
The schrages resort to their old ways...
I can't just sit out there
And listen to her scream, "I love you, mommy."
And jo won't stand for it...
It's all over. No.
When "supernanny" returns.
* Be good, be good *
Parents, are you looking for a creative way
For your children to say thank you?
If so, have them draw a picture on a large index card
And then frame it yourself, and have them jot
A little thank-you note on the back.
It's fun for them, whilst teaching gratitude.
* Be good, be good *
*****
(Jo) after three days away from the schrage family,
I was dying to see how they got on.
Okay, are we ready to take a look at this dvd?
Sure. Yes.
Okay, so let's take a look then.
Stop it or you're going to the naughty spot. Just stop.
(Cara crying)
(Grunting)
Four minutes.
Every time you get up, it's four more.
(Grunts)
Aah.
(Speaks indistinctly)
(Cara cries)
(Grunts)
(Beep)
(Blowing raspberries)
(Beep)
Do you want to tell me something?
Give me a hug.
Nice. I love it. (Kyle) good job.
Discipline is in the house. (Laughs)
Hello.
(Laughs)
It's good that you recognize the steps,
That you've got it underneath your belt.
You're showing a good follow-through.
All right. Very, very good there.
Now we're gonna take a look at yourself,
Christy, out with the girls for the afternoon.
*****
Whoo!
(Girl) I can hold onto-- yes.
Okay, come on. We got to go, girls.
(Crying) no.
We do. Ellie, come on and get emma now.
(Christy) worst day of my life.
(Emma) can we go somewhere else? No.
Oh, dear. You're taking them to the park,
But you're not really getting engaged with them...
Right. You're standing on the edge,
And I could see there was a disinterest.
You were kind of on the side, didn't really want to have fun.
You need to push through that.
So let's take a look at the first clip of bedtime.
(Crying) jump onto the bed.
Good night. You all will be okay.
(Crying continues) I want somebody to sh**t me.
(Kyle) why?
I hate this.
(Whispers) it's bedtime.
I'm out. That's it.
I-i-i can't just sit out there and listen to her scream,
"I love you, mommy." (Sniffles)
Okay, you did a great beginning.
You tucked the kids in. It was great.
And then you went, "okay, I've had enough now. I'm done." Mm-hmm.
Ultimately, who was gonna step in?
You had to step in... Mm-hmm.
Because who else was gonna do it?
Let's take a look at the second clip here of bedtime.
(Crying)
Good night. I love you. Aw, you'll be okay.
No.
Now lay down.
No!
(Crying)
(Crying) I want mommy.
It's bedtime.
Okay, so when she said she wanted mommy,
That's what you should give her. You should give her mommy.
"Bedtime," and take her back in.
*****
(Jo) oh, dear, no.
It's all over. No. (Christy) I know.
Oh, my word.
No. All that hard work...
You cannot compromise the technique.
You cannot compromise it,
Otherwise, it just doesn't work.
Mm-hmm.
It doesn't work.
And it didn't.
But she does need you. She needs you to place her back.
If it's not done by you,
It does create the good cop/bad cop.
Let's address bedtime once and for all.
Okay.
Okay?
Let's continue to work with what is necessary,
So that we can tweak today
The stuff that needs to be addressed
With what we've seen on the dvd here,
And, uh, let's start now. Mm-hmm.
Okay. Okay.
Coming up on...
It's mom's last chance to get bedtime right.
(Crying)
Can she resist her daughters' cries?
(Crying)
When "supernanny" returns.
* Be good, be good *
*****
(Jo) after seeing christy so unengaged in the park,
I justknew that I would have to deal with this constant issue.
Christy, out with the girls? Sure.
Three of them out. Let's have some fun all of us? Socks.
So I decided to take this family to the y.m.c.a.
And give christy a gentle nudge, so she would learn
How to enjoy herself with her kids.
So let's pull out the inner child
And listen to it, yeah? Yeah.
I could see that christy was a little nervous
And definitely out of her league.
Okay, I'm getting in here. (Laughs)
I knew that once she got started,
She'd have a whole heap of fun.
(Jo) where are you lot?
(Mouthing words)
(Singsong voice) okay, follow the leader.
(Girl) come on!
I understand why jo made me get in there and get involved.
It was so the kids would know that I cared enough
To give them my time and to play with them. Whee!
(Laughs) (jo) it's about being a parent
Who actively engages with your children
And shows them
That you're interested in spending time with them,
And that's what's happening here.
Having fun with the kids allows them
To burn energy productively, and at the same time,
They're not gonna be so clingy when it comes to bedtime.
So we know that we need to do homework tonight
With regards to the bedtime.
The stakes are too high. Let's face it. Mm-hmm.
If you're not consistent, you're gonna go downhill.
Before I leave this house, I need to know
You are strong enough to be able to commit
To doing this bedtime technique.
So are you ready to put the kids to bed? Yeah.
Whilst I was gone, mom couldn't resist
Getting into bed with the little one,
And it compromised the technique,
So to move forward, I've got to make sure
That mom is totally committed to doing this.
So what's happening tonight with--with kyle,
Kyle's gonna take a backseat...
Mm-hmm. Okay, and do his thing,
And tonight you're taking charge of bedtime. (Kyle) ellie, that's enough.
I wanted mom to do this technique
Without kyle around, because at the end of the day,
Mom is the one that's got to find the strength
In putting these kids to bed and actively ignoring them.
"'What would you wish for?' Asked aladdin.
'I would wish for freedom,' the genie replied." The end.
(Crying) give me a hug.
(Jo) once the bedtime story was over,
The tears and tantrums started.
It was really hard for mom just to pull herself away.
(Crying)
(Screaming indistinctly)
(Crying)
(Christy) stop getting out of your bed.
(Crying) let me say good night to dad.
(Continues crying)
*****
I may have been a little nervous
Having to do bedtime without kyle,
But I definitely saw the need for me to have to do it alone.
Okay, so this is what we are gonna change
About yourself right now. Stay right there.
I wanna show you your face.
(Laughs)
So what are we gonna do to change that?
I guess I'm gonna not look like that.
You are on a mission. Get these kids into bed. Mm-hmm.
Okay? Upright. You're gonna get it done.
When those kids come out,
You're gonna very firmly take them by the hand,
And you're gonna take them back into their bedrooms.
I think I needed that final push from jo about bedtime.
I wanna swing!
Cara was just, like, a little maniac.
She was just running all over the room
And zipping in and out.
(Crying) (speaking indistinctly)
(Jo) so it was a testing time for her,
And it--it's not easy.
There's no way it's easy for any parent,
But it doesn't mean it's not right.
*****
(Crying) no. No!
(Christy) it was hard.
It's always hard hearing your child cry.
I knew it was for the best. I knew that emma was better off.
*****
As soon as christy did step up,
And she was strong and persistent,
These girls went off to sleep, just like I knew they would.
They're asleep. I did so good. I didn't even cry.
(Kyle) did you really?
I was so excited to hear
That christy took charge at bedtime.
To see her stand firm, and to be the mother
That these children need her to be is just so relieving.
So congratulations.
You have clearly shown yourself
You're able and capable of doing it.
Thank you so much for helping.
(Christy) bedtime is the one thing
I thought we might not be able to overcome.
That's the one thing that I was most worried about,
And I think we're on the road to overcoming it.
So my work is done here...
(Kyle) you sure?
And your work is really just beginning.
It's been a really intense time for the schrage family,
But I know that I've left them the tools,
Knowledge and techniques to help them
Along the right pathway of being positive parents.
(Laughs)
Great big hug.
(Christy) I definitely have a newfound confidence
In my parenting skills, well, because now I have some.
Give me a hug, you. Thank you, jo.
We are so grateful that she came to see us,
And our family is gonna be so much stronger
Because of what she's done for us.
Take care. (Kyle) thank you very much.
Bye. Bye-bye.
Bye.
Jo, I thank you so much for helping our family.
You--you have a tremendous gift,
And you came in and saw where we needed help,
And you helped us. Thank you.
(Kyle) I am a better parent now,
But I'm still learning,
And I will probably always be learning,
But with jo's techniques, we've got a good foundation.
*****
(Grunting)
(Kyle) oh, boy.
(Speaks indistinctly)
(Christy) did you kiss that camel?
(Kyle) it was like kissing a mountain man
With a fleece and fuzzy hair. (Laughs)
(Laughter) (kyle) there you go.
Ready? What do you say?
Giddyap, coco.
Giddyap, coco.
(Girl) cara... (Speaks indistinctly)
(Kyle) there you go. He doesn't hurt at all.
(Laughs)
Whoo. Whoo-hoo-hoo.
(Laughs)
Oh, gross.
(Laughing) oh, ew.
(Screams) a family with three wild girls...
No! (Screams)
(Man) stop! (Boing)
Who vandalize the walls of their home with graffiti.
(Woman) stop. And after four years,
The youngest still won't give up her pacifier.
No paci.
The family has a bizarre bedtime ritual
That has kept dad and mom from sleeping together
For eight years.
I'm surprised they're still together, to be honest with you.
Can jo get dad back in bed with his wife?
Well, there's a first for everything. Good night.
Will she help mom get in control?
You're not messing around. This is serious.
And can jo conquer her fears in order to help this family
Fly to new heights? Whoo!
Or will this family fall back to earth?
It's all over. No.
*****
* Be good, be good *
* Be good, be good, be good *
* Be good, be good, be good *
* Be good, be good, be good * * johnny *
* Be good, be good, be good *
* Be good, be good, be good *
* Be good, be good, be good *
* Be good, be good, be good * * johnny *
* Johnny *
(Bell tolls)
*****
Can't wait to see what's in store for me this week.
Let's take a look.
Hi. We're the schrage family.
I'm kyle. I'm christy.
We have daughters-- ellie, who is ...
Hi! (Screams)
Emma, who is ... No!
Hey! Ohh!
And cara, who is . (Screeching)
Ow!
I work for a sales office in nashville, tennessee.
Hi.
I am a stay-at-home mom.
Ooh. (Laughs)
They're just wild. They don't listen.
You get down. You know better.
No! (Speaks indistinctly) stop it.
Our children have gotten to the point
Where they control christy.
Yeah! No.
Yeah! Ooh!
These kids can just obviously do what they want to do.
I mean, you know,
There's no discipline in this house, is there?
*****
(Kyle) the entire wall system in our upstairs
Has an assortment of wonderful, beautiful crayons
And markers and pencil marks. It's lack of respect.
There is no way I would allow this. Are you kidding me?
Look at the graffiti on the walls!
(Singsongy) cara gots a paci.
Cara is years old,
And she still has a paci.
My purple paci!
Oh, this is a joke. That paci's got to go.
(Chuckles)
She has an addiction.
(Squeaking) (kyle) get ready for bed.
When nighttime comes... (Shrieks)
And it's time for "bed," they will not go upstairs
And go to sleep in their beds.
(Laughs) is anybody else tired?
The children go to bed when they want to go to bed,
Or when christy is ready to go to bed... No!
We will force one or two of 'em in there.
(Shrieks)
It has been eight years since we've been in the same bed.
(Clock ticking)
They don't even sleep together-- mom and dad. Look.
You go in there.
Whee!
There is no way that this family
Can be getting a proper night's sleep.
This has got to change.
It can't go on like this any longer.
I mean, ican't go on like this any longer.
I just feel like we have to fix it right now. (Grunts)
What? Oh, yeah!
Supernanny, come on, we need your help! Supernanny, we need your help!
Can you put your foot on it, driver, please?
We'd better get there quick!
*****
Hello.
Hi. Pleased to meet you. I'm jo.
I'm christy. Hi.
When jo knocked on the door,
It was only the girls and I at home.
Kyle was still at work,
And I was really quite nervous.
The mom was very shy when I first met her.
But she did introduce me to her daughters.
Ellie! It's supernanny!
This is cara. She's . This is cara. Hi, cara.
This is your sister? Hi, pleased to meet you. I'm jo.
Then she asked me if I'd like
To look around the house, and I was curious to do so.
Oh, great. I see the kids did the interior design. Yes, they did.
And I saw, well, let's face it, graffiti.
*****
What've we got here? Hmm. (Christy) that's ellie's name, but this is not her room.
There was, uh,
Lots of colorful artwork that'd just been scribbled,
And it was on the carpets as well.
So they--they've done it. Do they have permission to do it?
I've got to ask. They don't have permission.
They do it when I'm not looking.
Do you reinforce any form of discipline
At all with the girls? Well, yeah, but they still do it.
So this lady had clearly allowed her children to do this
To the walls of their bedroom without consent.
After seeing all the artwork, I was introduced to memaw.
Is your space respected?
Uh, sometimes, and sometimes not.
Memaw is christy's mother, and she lives with them.
So this is like your little annex area. This is your...
(Memaw laughs) this is your little space here.
And I'm very grateful that I have
The opportunity to be that close to my grandchildren,
But sometimes you can be a littletoo close.
(Jo) memaw doesn't have any privacy.
The kids just cross those boundaries
And go into her space.
I think memaw would like the kids
To respect her privacy,
To knock on the door before they go in.
They will even lay down on the ground and kick at the door
If memaw doesn't let 'em in.
Ow!
Is someone missing a paci?
Whose is this?
Me. This belongs to you?
Cara's main issue is probably the pacifier.
Her whole mouth is starting to look funny because of it.
Her teeth are sticking way out.
Oh. (Christy) are you too big for a paci?
So--so how many of these do you have? (Emma) a lot.
Five. She has a green one, a blue one, a red and yellow one...
(Christy) uh-huh. Two blue and red ones...
(Christy) hey, I think we get it.
Have you ever made attempts to--to dispose of the pacifier?
With the other two, when we took it away,
They stopped crying, like, after one night. They were fine. Right.
But she didn't stop. She just kept on and on and on.
Yeah. And it's--it's my fault.
I-i weakened and gave it back to her
So we could get some sleep. Right.
Mom's right.
Years old and using a pacifier is way too old.
So it looks like we'll have to put a stop to that.
It shows mom unable to complete any task
And to follow through.
(Children shouting indistinctly)
Right there!
I had just gotten really good at just kind of
Gettin' up every day and living
And not feeling anything, and then the same thing
Happening the next day.
*****
*****
(Jo) seeing mom reading while the kids were outside,
Bored and restless, was sad.
It was very obvious that mom was stuck in a bad rut.
What--what do you kind of do around this time?
I usually just pick up aft-- pick up after them... (Laughs)
Or do laundry or, um...
She's unsure,
Unconfident,
Unenthusiastic about motherhood.
Little bit... Vague.
Kind of not really there.
Coming up on...
Dad confesses an embarrassing secret...
When was the last time you slept in your own bed? Seven to eight years.
That's just madness to me.
And jo reacts to the strangest sleeping arrangement
She has ever seen.
I'm surprised they're still together, to be honest with you.
When "supernanny" returns.
* Be good, be good *
(Jo) mom's very detached,
And it made me want to sit down and talk to her about it...
Come and sit down with me.
And see if the cause wasn't the sleep deprivation
That she had mentioned in submission.
So what has been the effect
Of lack of sleep?
I'm just exhausted.
When it comes down to being, like, the wife and the mother
And the--the--anything that requires an organizational,
Fit-into-a-little-mold thing, I'm not--i'm not good,
And it just--it--it just makes life really hard for me.
I just, like, I'm constantly treading water or something.
I think that's the way I feel.
And i-i don't know.
I always have a fear of, um, disappointing people.
Mm. Because you want people to like you.
Yes.
What other things make you fearful?
Like heights make me a bit queasy. Yeah, I have that one.
You have that one? That makes me feel a bit queasy. (Chuckles)
Fear has become a comfort for christy.
It's a false security.
It's stopped her from moving forward
And empowering herself to really make some really good changes.
*****
Hi, girls.
(Christy) hi.
Hello. Hello.
Pleased to meet you. Jo. I'm kyle. Nice to meet you.
Once dad came home, they all had dinner,
And then the kids started to get ready for bedtime,
Which was interesting, to say the least.
Cara, come on. Pajama time. Pajamas on!
So "pajamas on!" Is literally the beginning of bedtime,
Is that correct? Yes, that's correct.
Right.
Ellie, go get your pajamas.
I have to lay down between ellie and emma
To get them to go to sleep.
Are you going to sleep? Am I saying good night to you now?
Okay, well, good night then.
Good night. Good night. (Laughing)
Bye-bye. I'll tell you what, this is a first.
I've never had to tuck in a family that I was visiting
On my observation day. (Kyle laughs)
Well, there's a first for everything. Good night.
I mean, I've never been in to a household
Where I've switched the lights out on a parent
Tucked in cozy with her daughters.
I found that absolutely bizarre.
So no--
No evening together?
No-- no.
With the children being in the bed, uh,
My wife and I don't get any time--couples time--
Uh, not only just to talk,
But just to sleep together, to be with one another.
Um, it's--it's amazing wehave three children.
I don't know how it happened, but it--it did.
Gotta ask you this question. I have to.
When was the last time you slept in your own bed?
It's probably been about seven to eight years.
Seven, eight years?
(Chuckles) yeah. Yeah.
That's just madness to me. Absolutely insane.
How did you have children?
Did you meet on the way to the bathroom?
I... (Laughs) funny you should say that.
I sit out on the couch with this--the year old, cara,
And watch a movie
Until she falls asleep or we both fall asleep.
Uh, and then anywhere from : to : in the morning,
I move the year old, ellie, upstairs into a bed...
Move the year old, cara, into christy's bed...
And I go upstairs and sleep in a separate bed.
So believe it or not,
This is where dad will end up tonight.
I mean, how crazy is that?
Seriously, it's like musical beds.
Dad hasn't slept in his own bed properly for eight years.
I'm surprised they're still together,
To be honest with you.
It was embarrassing with her
Looking right in your eyes in unbelief
That I have to go into a bed without my wife, by myself,
And roll over and go to sleep.
Tomorrow morning, need a meeting.
Okay. There's stuff that needs to be addressed and spoken about.
Okay? Okay.
All right, then. Great. Good night.
Um, hey, go upstairs. I'll see myself out. Don't worry. Okay. (Laughs)
Good night. Good night.
*****
Really, the lack of respect for the house
With regards to the children
Graffitiing all over the walls...
Well, it's even worse than that,
Because they wouldn't even consider doing that
At somebody else's house.
It's just here. They know. They just don't respect their home.
But let's talk about something wider than that as well.
If there's no discipline in the house,
Then you're not putting in place rules,
Boundaries and consequence.
So how are you teaching, fundamentally,
Those values that you want to instill?
We don't. You're correct.
Then how are you doing your job as a parent?
We're not.
Cara with a paci,
At her age,
Has gone beyond the use of why we would use pacies,
And it's gotta go.
She's not a baby.
No, I know it. I know it has to go. (Sniffles)
But it means that you've got to find the strength...
Right. To recognize,
And an understanding ofwhy it has to go.
Because allowing her to become more mature
And to be the age that she is
Leaves the fear of you possibly not getting
What you get from her emotionally and physically,
Because you need that
Because it's absent in your relationship.
Correct?
Bedtimes are always interesting.
I'll tell you what, though, it's the first time I've ever
Had to shut the light down and say good night to a parent
On my first night of observing a family.
Couldn't believe what I was seeing. That's crazy.
I--i've gotta ask. You know, what are you thinking?
I think that we're just too tired
To--to fight,
So it's easier to just let them go where they want
And then adapt around them.
The fact that you have both not had a good night's sleep
In--well, I can't say days. Let's say years--
Has manifested itself into so much negativity.
And sleep deprivation
Will take a toll on you physically,
And then it will break you down mentally,
And then it will have you go, "stop."
We're already there.
Christy, there's no fun in the house.
Where's the fun?
The lethargicness,
Not wanting to be enthusiastic about parenthood--
This is all really about you.
So how do you encourage
And be a positive role model as a woman
For three females in your house?
I'm not doing a real good job at all.
(Clears throat)
Fear's got you good.
It's got you right there, sold.
So between the three of us, we are going to make change.
Give me your hand. (Chuckles)
Yeah? Yeah.
We in? Mm-hmm.
We in? Yes.
All right, let's do this,
Because we haven't got time to waste here.
We need to change things drastically. Okay.
Coming up on...
Jo cracks down on the girls...
You are not messing around. This is serious.
And why is jo flying through the air?
Whoo!
When "supernanny" returns.
* Be good, be good *
*****
(Jo) on my first day of teaching, I wanted to
Knock this family completely out of their comfort zone
And start off with a bang. (Jo and christy) hi.
So I addressed as many of their issues as I could.
I started off by setting up
A really strict routine for this family to follow.
It will allow you to parent successfully every day,
And ultimately feel in control.
I need to learn how to organize,
And I need to learn how to make things better for me,
And this routine will be good for the whole family.
All right, so I'm look--
Really looking forward to-- to starting with this routine.
(Jo) I followed that up by having memaw
Make up signs for her door...
These are my new door signs.
So that her space could be respected. What does that say?
"Now." "Now."
Which means what? (Ellie) you can come in!
That you can come in.
Uh, but if I am doing things that I want to be by myself,
Then I say...
"Later."
"Later."
(Jo) and for the grand finale,
I wanted to challenge mom's fear of heights...
I am very scared of heights. (Jo) because I knew that if she could get over that,
Then the fear of displeasing her children
Won't be so bad after all.
I thought, oh, no. I'm gonna have to jump off that thing.
I was just feeling like I'm scared of heights,
And I don't want to do this.
She could have turned around and said to me,
"Well, what about you then?"
So i-i wanted to show her that I was willing to grow as well
And face my own fears of heights.
(Jo) so are you ready? Mm, yeah. As ready as I'll ever be. (Chuckles)
(Man) one, two, three, go.
Whoo! (Giggling)
*****
(Christy) jo wanted me to know that I could conquer the fear
Of my life and parenting.
The zip line showed me that I can do it.
Yes!
(Jo) christy did it, and she was really pleased with herself
That she came down from that tower.
So now it shouldn't be so bad,
Her having the courage to discipline her children, right?
You did good, too. (Chuckles) (chuckles)
After mom's blood was pumping
From coming down from that zip line,
I could see that she was very proud of herself.
So now it's time to start establishing some house rules,
And I'm gonna do something really unique here,
Because what I'm going to do is give the parents
One set of house rules and grandma another.
No rules, no boundaries in this house.
Therefore, no control.
So now what we're going to do is to establish house rules.
We're also going to establish rules for memaw's space.
We all sat down at the table
And wrote out a list of h-house rules.
No hurting each other. Okay. Respect.
I think it's very helpful, because if the kids act up,
You can go straight to that rules board
And say, "this is what you're doing wrong,
And this is why you're getting in trouble."
So your memaw's rules are an extension of the house rules,
So there will be things here that you'll look
And say, "yes, I certainly want those in my space, too."
Have respect for my apartment.
That's it. Sing it, memaw. Exactly.
Uh, the rules will work very well.
No... I call it fighting. Right. You put it then.
If that's what you call it, you--you write it down.
(Jo) memaw will have her rules to go in her apartment,
So that she's very much a part of the family
And the third adult,
And the kids will respect her rules, too.
Great, so I'll get you to pull the kids in... (Kyle) okay.
And, uh, let's go for the house rules. All right.
After we set up the rules, we had the kids come in,
So the parents could explain to them
Absolutely clearly what was going to change.
"Sleep and stay in your own bed."
(Jo) and as from tomorrow, we will be doing that. (Kyle) okay.
Okay? That sleep and stay in the bed.
Any opportunity I get to have mom
Really explain to the kids that she expects
Certain behavior from them,
Brings her one step closer to showing these kids
She's their mother first.
"Listen and do as you are told."
We'll explain what we want you to do,
And then you do it.
Okay, so we'll go through memaw's rules.
"Respect privacy"
And "don't bother my things."
(Jo) memaw was spot-on.
She explained very clearly her rules
And what she expected. She did a great job.
Okay, so let's put the rules up.
Now we've established the rules,
It's important to bring in discipline
So if these kids misbehave,
They'll know exactly what to expect.
If these rules are broken,
There are gonna be consequences, okay?
You're gonna end up doing time-outs.
So this is how it works-- you'll give the kids a warning.
You will make a very conscious effort
Of coming down to their level.
Low-toned voice, because you're not happy.
You're exercising your authority,
But only verbally. Mm-hmm.
If they choose to carry on with that behavior,
Then what I want you to do is to pick a spot
And send 'em there.
They'll stay there one minute per year of their age,
You'll explainwhy,
And then you'll receive an apology for their behavior.
After explaining discipline to mom,
She was able to apply the technique.
Can you help me clean up the table?
(Crying) I will. Just a minute.
No, you just wanna-- you just wanna play in the soap.
When mom expected cara to clean up after lunch,
She tried to escape into memaw's house.
All she needs to do is get the fork and the spoon.
No, no, no, no, no.
What's going on?
(Christy) come on. (Girl) are you ready?
(Kyle) get up.
You've got to go to the step.
(Kyle) okay. (Speaks indistinctly)
I'm putting you on the step
Because you were not listening to me,
So you're gonna stay on here for four minutes,
And I'm gonna set the timer.
I would remove her paci as well, 'cause that's a pacifier.
No paci when you're on the step. Nothing.
Mom did fine putting cara on the naughty step,
But she can't be afraid to speak authoritatively,
Otherwise it's not gonna work.
This is cara saying, "I don't need to listen to you."
Who's the parent who's in charge,
And who needs to show cara?
If she doesn't make this distinction between
When she's being serious and when she's having fun,
Then how is cara to know any different?
It's just really no way for mom to show
That she doesn't want that behavior,
And she needs it to stop right now.
Did she leave again? (Groans)
I think I had to put cara on the naughty spot about times.
So every time she comes back up here,
What do you think she's gonna do?
Hide. Exactly.
Mom just wasn't showing cara that she meant business,
So I decided to show her exactly how it should be done.
Okay, you're not carrying her down
Because she's a big girl, and that exhausts you.
Because you have to carry her by the hand,
And you're bringing her down
Because you're not messing around.
This is serious, okay?
And she's misbehaving.
So I'd place cara in a naughty corner
So she couldn't keep running up them steps.
Okay, set the alarm,
And she'll do what she's told.
Cara finally stayed in that spot for her four minutes,
And now she definitely doesn't want to go back,
So it definitely worked.
Are you sorry? All right, give me a hug.
(Laughs)
Coming up on...
This is what we're going to do.
We are gonna deal with these pacies once and for all.
Jo forces cara to go cold turkey,
And when the bedtime routine changes,
It's tirades and tantrums...
(Crying) I don't want to go to bed.
When "supernanny" returns.
* Be good, be good *
*****
(Jo) the next day,
It was all about tackling cara's paci issue.
I believe that children shouldn't be using a paci
Past the age of ,
And I know that most dentists would agree with me.
This is what we're going to do.
We are gonna deal with these pacies once and for all. (Laughs)
(Kyle) in the past, our failed attempts
With cara and the paci were not really cara's fault.
They were, I believe, christy not wanting cara to grow up.
So we are going to have
A paci hunt throughout the house,
And we are going to put all the pacies into this jar... (Girl) oh, no.
And today you are going to give up the paci
Because you don't need it anymore.
You're a big girl.
Let's see how many we can get each.
I'm gonna leave this in here,
And we'll put them in there when we find 'em. Ready?
I'm looking first. I know I'm off. Is everybody looking?
(Kyle) go on. Where's your green one? I got one.
Go. Go. Whew! Look under the bed.
(Jo) and memaw's looking. There you go. Eight.
(Ellie) go, go, go.
(Kyle) check under the counter here. Yeah!
(Ellie) I got two. There might be one in the car.
Aha. Here, look. It's the blue one!
(Cheering)
The thing is that parents get stuck in a rut,
And they give up too early.
If only they would look
To dealing with this issue with a new approach,
Then they would resolve the situation.
And I think that was the case with cara's pacifier.
What we're gonna do is we're gonna put these
In the trash can. We're gonna throw 'em away.
Putting them all in a jar
And having cara throw away the pacifiers was really neat.
(Christy) over here.
(Jo) there she goes!
(Cheering)
(Christy) I mean, I wanted 'em to go,
So I was happy about that.
It's fun ha-having no pacies.
Come here, big girl. Mwah! (Laughs)
Now you're a big girl!
She threw the pacies away,
And she brought it up a couple of times,
And then she moved on, and, you know,
Sometimes it's--that's just how it is with kids.
Resolving the situation with cara and the paci
Shows that if these parents choose not to sit back
And accept the status quo, then things will change,
And I wanted to use this momentum
To stop these girls from drawing on those walls.
Jo came up with a really neat idea.
She had built three little frames,
And in the frame there were big pieces of office paper.
As you will see, each pad tears off,
And then just replace it.
(Jo) now that I'd briefed mom and dad
About how the drawing pads would work,
It was time for them to explain it to the kids.
Mom and dad, do you want to explain what we've got?
This is ellie's pad of paper, that's emma's pad of paper,
And that last one is cara's pad of paper. Yay.
That's right. But guess what it's really for.
(Girls) what?
See all that stuff on the wall?
Well,this is to keep you girls from doingthat,
Okay?
And we don't want to see any more writing on the walls,
All right? Where's the box of crayons?
I'll go get it! (Laughs)
(Kyle) oh, there's crayons. Now with the wall murals,
Nobody will be writing on the wall anymore.
A little eyeball, little eyelashes
And abig smile.
The wall mural was a great success,
However, I still need to tackle this family's biggest issue,
And that's bedtime,
And now cara doesn't have a pacifier to soothe her.
Will it be drama?
So tonight there's a new bedtime routine,
And the bedtime routine is going to be about you girls
Feeling very safe and secure in your own bedrooms.
Where do I begin with bedtime? It's just insane, really.
It's created such sleep deprivation,
That it's destructive to the whole family.
In a couple of minutes, cara is gonna go and get washed,
And she's gonna have stories read to her.
You girls are gonna go and take a shower or bath.
Giving the girls a bedtime routine
Where it's staggered, so they all go to bed
At different times, which allows the parents
To wind them down and to read stories to them
Just allows the whole process of bedtime
To happen much smoother than what it was before.
"Aladdin and abu gasped as they saw
All the gold and jewels in the cavern."
You know, can you lay down? (Crying) no.
No.
(Laughing) she's not sleeping.
(Jo) sorry?
She says she's gonna sleep later. Oh, she did, did she?
Mm-hmm. This is what you are going to do, okay?
The stay-in-bed technique, okay?
When she comes out the first time,
You say to her, "it's bedtime, darling."
Tuck her in, then come out.
The second time, you say-- it's just "bedtime."
The third time, you say nothing.
(Crying)
Good night, cara.
Mom placed cara into bed, and she came out straightaway,
And then it really was tantrums and tiaras.
She didn't want to be going to bed on her own.
(Crying) mom.
(Continues crying)
It's bedtime.
(Crying)
(Screams)
She continued to cry, and mom sat on the sofa.
Her heart was just really feeling emotionally
What cara was going through.
Tell me. Tell yourself. Why are we doing this?
Why are we doing this?
(Cara continues crying)
Oh, because it's... Well, it has to be done.
Don't give me the answers that you've--
That you've memorized from listening to me.
Really think about why we're doing this.
I needed mom's attention,
For her to focus on why it is important
That these kids get to sleep
And that she gets a good night's sleep as well.
It's just not easy. No, it's not, but know it's only change,
Know it's not because she's going...
(Whiny voice) "oh, you're so mean.
"You're a mean mommy.
You don't love me. You're abandoning me."
(Normal voice) that's not that cry.
(Christy) I was feeling very, very sad.
I could never have done that without jo there.
With cara already down, dad put the other two girls to bed,
And whilst I was talking to mom,
I realized that within an hour,
All three were asleep.
Oh, look at that. Your kids are in their own beds.
You know, :, and lights were out for everyone.
Mom and dad came downstairs
And really didn't know what to do with themselves.
I'm leaving for a couple of days.
This is about you guys
Putting in the techniques and continuing,
Because soon, I'm gonna be going for good,
So this is an important part of what we're doing here.
I'm nervous about when jo leaves,
That we'll resort back to our old ways.
Thank you. You're welcome.
(Jo) I knew that once I weren't around,
That mom would really have to step it up,
But this was the first time that I was going to be leaving
Mom and dad alone by themselves...
(Whispers) in eight years.
Stay there and just hug one another.
Coming up on...
(Crying) as soon as jo leaves,
The schrages resort to their old ways...
I can't just sit out there
And listen to her scream, "I love you, mommy."
And jo won't stand for it...
It's all over. No.
When "supernanny" returns.
* Be good, be good *
Parents, are you looking for a creative way
For your children to say thank you?
If so, have them draw a picture on a large index card
And then frame it yourself, and have them jot
A little thank-you note on the back.
It's fun for them, whilst teaching gratitude.
* Be good, be good *
*****
(Jo) after three days away from the schrage family,
I was dying to see how they got on.
Okay, are we ready to take a look at this dvd?
Sure. Yes.
Okay, so let's take a look then.
Stop it or you're going to the naughty spot. Just stop.
(Cara crying)
(Grunting)
Four minutes.
Every time you get up, it's four more.
(Grunts)
Aah.
(Speaks indistinctly)
(Cara cries)
(Grunts)
(Beep)
(Blowing raspberries)
(Beep)
Do you want to tell me something?
Give me a hug.
Nice. I love it. (Kyle) good job.
Discipline is in the house. (Laughs)
Hello.
(Laughs)
It's good that you recognize the steps,
That you've got it underneath your belt.
You're showing a good follow-through.
All right. Very, very good there.
Now we're gonna take a look at yourself,
Christy, out with the girls for the afternoon.
*****
Whoo!
(Girl) I can hold onto-- yes.
Okay, come on. We got to go, girls.
(Crying) no.
We do. Ellie, come on and get emma now.
(Christy) worst day of my life.
(Emma) can we go somewhere else? No.
Oh, dear. You're taking them to the park,
But you're not really getting engaged with them...
Right. You're standing on the edge,
And I could see there was a disinterest.
You were kind of on the side, didn't really want to have fun.
You need to push through that.
So let's take a look at the first clip of bedtime.
(Crying) jump onto the bed.
Good night. You all will be okay.
(Crying continues) I want somebody to sh**t me.
(Kyle) why?
I hate this.
(Whispers) it's bedtime.
I'm out. That's it.
I-i-i can't just sit out there and listen to her scream,
"I love you, mommy." (Sniffles)
Okay, you did a great beginning.
You tucked the kids in. It was great.
And then you went, "okay, I've had enough now. I'm done." Mm-hmm.
Ultimately, who was gonna step in?
You had to step in... Mm-hmm.
Because who else was gonna do it?
Let's take a look at the second clip here of bedtime.
(Crying)
Good night. I love you. Aw, you'll be okay.
No.
Now lay down.
No!
(Crying)
(Crying) I want mommy.
It's bedtime.
Okay, so when she said she wanted mommy,
That's what you should give her. You should give her mommy.
"Bedtime," and take her back in.
*****
(Jo) oh, dear, no.
It's all over. No. (Christy) I know.
Oh, my word.
No. All that hard work...
You cannot compromise the technique.
You cannot compromise it,
Otherwise, it just doesn't work.
Mm-hmm.
It doesn't work.
And it didn't.
But she does need you. She needs you to place her back.
If it's not done by you,
It does create the good cop/bad cop.
Let's address bedtime once and for all.
Okay.
Okay?
Let's continue to work with what is necessary,
So that we can tweak today
The stuff that needs to be addressed
With what we've seen on the dvd here,
And, uh, let's start now. Mm-hmm.
Okay. Okay.
Coming up on...
It's mom's last chance to get bedtime right.
(Crying)
Can she resist her daughters' cries?
(Crying)
When "supernanny" returns.
* Be good, be good *
*****
(Jo) after seeing christy so unengaged in the park,
I justknew that I would have to deal with this constant issue.
Christy, out with the girls? Sure.
Three of them out. Let's have some fun all of us? Socks.
So I decided to take this family to the y.m.c.a.
And give christy a gentle nudge, so she would learn
How to enjoy herself with her kids.
So let's pull out the inner child
And listen to it, yeah? Yeah.
I could see that christy was a little nervous
And definitely out of her league.
Okay, I'm getting in here. (Laughs)
I knew that once she got started,
She'd have a whole heap of fun.
(Jo) where are you lot?
(Mouthing words)
(Singsong voice) okay, follow the leader.
(Girl) come on!
I understand why jo made me get in there and get involved.
It was so the kids would know that I cared enough
To give them my time and to play with them. Whee!
(Laughs) (jo) it's about being a parent
Who actively engages with your children
And shows them
That you're interested in spending time with them,
And that's what's happening here.
Having fun with the kids allows them
To burn energy productively, and at the same time,
They're not gonna be so clingy when it comes to bedtime.
So we know that we need to do homework tonight
With regards to the bedtime.
The stakes are too high. Let's face it. Mm-hmm.
If you're not consistent, you're gonna go downhill.
Before I leave this house, I need to know
You are strong enough to be able to commit
To doing this bedtime technique.
So are you ready to put the kids to bed? Yeah.
Whilst I was gone, mom couldn't resist
Getting into bed with the little one,
And it compromised the technique,
So to move forward, I've got to make sure
That mom is totally committed to doing this.
So what's happening tonight with--with kyle,
Kyle's gonna take a backseat...
Mm-hmm. Okay, and do his thing,
And tonight you're taking charge of bedtime. (Kyle) ellie, that's enough.
I wanted mom to do this technique
Without kyle around, because at the end of the day,
Mom is the one that's got to find the strength
In putting these kids to bed and actively ignoring them.
"'What would you wish for?' Asked aladdin.
'I would wish for freedom,' the genie replied." The end.
(Crying) give me a hug.
(Jo) once the bedtime story was over,
The tears and tantrums started.
It was really hard for mom just to pull herself away.
(Crying)
(Screaming indistinctly)
(Crying)
(Christy) stop getting out of your bed.
(Crying) let me say good night to dad.
(Continues crying)
*****
I may have been a little nervous
Having to do bedtime without kyle,
But I definitely saw the need for me to have to do it alone.
Okay, so this is what we are gonna change
About yourself right now. Stay right there.
I wanna show you your face.
(Laughs)
So what are we gonna do to change that?
I guess I'm gonna not look like that.
You are on a mission. Get these kids into bed. Mm-hmm.
Okay? Upright. You're gonna get it done.
When those kids come out,
You're gonna very firmly take them by the hand,
And you're gonna take them back into their bedrooms.
I think I needed that final push from jo about bedtime.
I wanna swing!
Cara was just, like, a little maniac.
She was just running all over the room
And zipping in and out.
(Crying) (speaking indistinctly)
(Jo) so it was a testing time for her,
And it--it's not easy.
There's no way it's easy for any parent,
But it doesn't mean it's not right.
*****
(Crying) no. No!
(Christy) it was hard.
It's always hard hearing your child cry.
I knew it was for the best. I knew that emma was better off.
*****
As soon as christy did step up,
And she was strong and persistent,
These girls went off to sleep, just like I knew they would.
They're asleep. I did so good. I didn't even cry.
(Kyle) did you really?
I was so excited to hear
That christy took charge at bedtime.
To see her stand firm, and to be the mother
That these children need her to be is just so relieving.
So congratulations.
You have clearly shown yourself
You're able and capable of doing it.
Thank you so much for helping.
(Christy) bedtime is the one thing
I thought we might not be able to overcome.
That's the one thing that I was most worried about,
And I think we're on the road to overcoming it.
So my work is done here...
(Kyle) you sure?
And your work is really just beginning.
It's been a really intense time for the schrage family,
But I know that I've left them the tools,
Knowledge and techniques to help them
Along the right pathway of being positive parents.
(Laughs)
Great big hug.
(Christy) I definitely have a newfound confidence
In my parenting skills, well, because now I have some.
Give me a hug, you. Thank you, jo.
We are so grateful that she came to see us,
And our family is gonna be so much stronger
Because of what she's done for us.
Take care. (Kyle) thank you very much.
Bye. Bye-bye.
Bye.
Jo, I thank you so much for helping our family.
You--you have a tremendous gift,
And you came in and saw where we needed help,
And you helped us. Thank you.
(Kyle) I am a better parent now,
But I'm still learning,
And I will probably always be learning,
But with jo's techniques, we've got a good foundation.
*****
(Grunting)
(Kyle) oh, boy.
(Speaks indistinctly)
(Christy) did you kiss that camel?
(Kyle) it was like kissing a mountain man
With a fleece and fuzzy hair. (Laughs)
(Laughter) (kyle) there you go.
Ready? What do you say?
Giddyap, coco.
Giddyap, coco.
(Girl) cara... (Speaks indistinctly)
(Kyle) there you go. He doesn't hurt at all.
(Laughs)
Whoo. Whoo-hoo-hoo.
(Laughs)
Oh, gross.
(Laughing) oh, ew.