01x18 - All Fair in Love and Sleepovers

[bunniefuu]

- [whistles]

- Let's go everybody! Picture time!

[upbeat music]

Come on!

- ♪ Really Loud House ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Really Loud House ♪

- This is gonna be the best sleepover ever.

The whole crew is coming: Liam, Zach, and Rusty.

- Oh!

both: ♪ Pillow fight, pillow fight ♪

♪ Setting up the tent ♪

♪ Marshmallows on the stick, roast it on the fire pit ♪

♪ Sleeping bags, zip it up, never go to sleep ♪

Sleepover.

- Oh, I am so pumped. - Me too!

- Me too!

- Charlie's coming to the sleepover.

- Hey, Clyde.

- Oh. I didn't know we invited her.

- I invited her!

Long-distance relationships are tough.

So Charlie and I decided to make an extra effort

to stay connected.

So far, so great.

Ooh, tell Clyde how excited you are, Charlie.

- I think she's frozen. - Ah!

I got you with the frozen bit.

[both laugh]

- She got you with the frozen bit.

- Yep, sure did.

- We should do this for the guys at the sleepover tonight.

- Yes, we should.

[doorbell rings]

- Evening, fellers. - Hey, Liam.

- This year's sleepover's gonna be finer than

a frog hair split four ways.

- Zach, where's your sleeping bag?

- Nice try. I'm not sleeping tonight.

I'm not getting my face drawn on,

my eyebrows shaved off,

and you're definitely not putting my hand in warm water.

- Ooh, we got you good with that one.

- Remember, he peed all over the couch?

And then he had to spend three hours scrubbing the cushion,

just to get the smell out! [laughs]

Oh, yeah, that was me.

- The Russ man has arrived. Let the party begin.

[loud clang]

- What's in your bag? - My barbells.

Every night before bed, I do , curls.

- My sisters aren't home.

- And ,.

- Gentlemen, here are your Just for Friends Sleepover

gift bags.

Adjustable cap, daily multi-vitamins,

and the star of the gift bag,

Clyde McBride's famous lemon bars.

- And Charlie's grandma sent her famous Tennessee taffy.

- Ooh. Charlie's here?

- We're still together. - Yep.

- And ,.

- Thanks for the taffy, Charlie.

- different flavors.

Best taffy in all of Tennessee.

- In all of Tennessee? I doubt that.

- What'd you say? - Excuse me?

- Oh, nothing.

- This sleepover's off to a roaring start.

[all cheering]

[rooster crowing]

- Oops. Left my alarm clock on the porch.

- Hmm, we got a doorman. - Big sleepover tonight!

- Oh, what a gentleman.

Someone knows how to treat a lady.

[dreamy music]

♪ ♪

- Much--much obliged, ma'am.

- Anyway, Bobby and I decided to do something romantic.

So we're going to recreate

our very first-ever date together. [chuckles]

He's gonna be here at : PM.

He was seven minutes late to our first date.

- [chuckles] You guys are perfect for each other.

- I just think it's so wonderful that

you have someone like Bobby in your life.

Life is so fleeting and--

sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find true happiness.

- Luan, don't say that.

- Yeah, don't be sad.

- I'm not sad. [laughs]

I decided to give dramatic acting a try.

So I'm workshopping a few different characters.

That was "Divorced Woman out of Options."

- Wow. That was really good.

- Good?

I poured my heart and soul into that!

And all you have to say is good?

- No, no, no. It was great.

You were great. - I didn't mean to upset you.

- That was a different character.

That was "Angry Chef Hits Breaking Point."

- OK? - Good.

- You know, I think it's really important to

try to branch out from comedy into dramatic acting.

- My manager is wanting me to do the same thing.

He wants me to cross over into a country song,

but I just can't seem to get ahold of the lyrics.

What do you guys think about this?

♪ So I grabbed my cat with my pig and my chicken ♪

♪ And my duck and my rooster and my crow and my penguin ♪

I'm just listing animals.

- Yeah, it--it's a little bird-heavy. [chuckles]

- I'm never gonna get it.

- It's easy to doubt yourself, Luna.

But I know if you put your mind to it,

there's nothing you can't accomplish in this world.

I believe in you.

- What character was that?

- Oh, that wasn't a character.

I really do believe in you.

- Aww! Sister hug.

[laughter]

- Gentlemen... - [clears throat]

- And lady. - Thank you.

- Hola,Lori! - Boo Boo Bear!

:, right on time.

together: Let the fifth annual

Just for Friends Sleepover games begin.

[cheering]

- [gasps] A sleepover! So sick.

Hey, do you guys, like, draw on each other's faces and stuff?

Watch movies you're not supposed to?

Play Truth or Dare but only choose dare because

you don't want to tell each other who you secretly like?

- Pretty much.

[plays fanfare]

- Oh, man! They have trumpets!

[cheering]

- Go, Liam!

[upbeat music]

[laughter]

- Lincoln, duck!

- [groans]

- Good eye, partner. - You got it, partner.

Oh! [laughs]

Lincoln, duck.

- Thanks, Charlie.

- This is Lynn's legendary gross-out guzzler.

- [groans] - Oh, snap.

What are you guys doing? - Bobby? [chuckles]

- The rules are simple:

the first one to put it down and keep it down wins.

May God have mercy on your souls.

- Oh, so whoever drinks this down wins,

but if you throw it up, you lose.

Classic. That's, like, actually sick.

- Bobby, we did not drink gross drinks

on our first date. We ate pizza.

You pretended to like boba.

- Ready? - Ready.

- Ready. - Ready.

[cowbell clangs]

- [laughs]

- Babe! They're doing it! - [chokes]

- That's the warm potato salad right there.

- Chug! Chug! Chug!

[groans]

- Done! - And Charlie wins!

Yes, we have a winner!

Woo!

[stomach gurgling]

- This guzzler's really making a move on me.

- Yeah, it's probably the salmon.

- Where's y'all's outhouse?

- It's upstairs.

- Must be nice.

- Great job, Charlie. - Thanks.

I rule.

- Woo! Who wants seconds?

♪ As the sun rose up over nature's view ♪

♪ I knew it was time to come home to you ♪

♪ So I grabbed my keys and my phone and my wallet ♪

♪ And my hat and my buckle and my boots and my shoes ♪

I just keep listing things.

[dreamy music]

♪ ♪

- Jeez, Liam. I didn't even see you down there.

I'm sorry. I'm trying to write this country song

and I'm kind of in a dark place.

- Well, the stars always shine brightest

in the dark of night.

- Did you just make that up?

- I reckon I did.

- Do you mind if I use that?

- I reckon I don't.

- Thanks, Liam. You're a lifesaver.

♪ ♪

- You snooze, you lose, Liam.

[stomach gurgling] Oh, that salmon.

[upbeat music]

- The car looks awesome.

- [whistles] Looking good, buddy.

- You did great, guys.

- Bobby? [chuckles]

Can we focus on our date, please?

- Oh, sorry.

I--I feel like I've done this all before.

- You literally have.

We're recreating our first date, remember?

You told me how pretty I looked. [chuckles]

Tell me how pretty I look. [chuckles]

- You look--

epic! Yes!

[laughs] both: Woo!

- O-M-G!

You're so obsessed with this sleepover,

you're totes ignoring me.

- I--I'm sorry, babe.

I'm just--I'm really longing for some guy time.

- Well, you can have unlimited guy time

if you don't start paying attention to me.

- You boys might as well be an ear of corn,

'cause you're about to be picked, shucked, and boiled.

- Good luck.

Lincoln and I have never been defeated.

Right, Lincoln?

- Ready?

Make way for the Tennessee Express.

- Choo-choo!

- He wouldn't.

[cool rock music]

[both shouting]

- [laughs]

together: New record!

- Oh, that was awesome! - No way!

- Woo-hoo, we did it, Charlie!

- Awesome.

[dark music]

- Who wants to be my new best friend?

[soft music]

- Lola, bring in the first candidate.

- You're in good hands.

I've tried out for so many pageants,

I really know how the audition process works.

All right, here we go.

Only one of you is getting the part.

You flub your line?

You're gone. - [gulps]

- You look nervous? You're gone.

You waste my time?

You're gone.

Good luck, boys.

First up, Rusty Spokes?

- [gasps]

- You better hope Clyde didn't see that.

- Thanks for coming. - You kidding?

A chance to get in on, if I may say,

the better half of Clincoln McCloud

How does "Crusty McSpokes" grab you?

- Thanks for coming in.

Next!

- When I do eventually make contact with the aliens,

I can bring one friend along on their spaceship.

[whispers] That's you.

- Somebody wants you in the other room.

- Who? - Everyone in this room.

- [in rough voice] My name is Peter Bilt.

I'm a -year-old big rig trucker.

I was born in the panhandle of Florida

and raised on the blacktop of America.

I recently lost my job due to my rage issues!

- Lola? - Nope.

- With me as your best friend, you get unlimited pony rides,

but more importantly, unlimited loyalty.

One thing about farmers,

we're in it for the long haul.

- Liam, can I borrow you for a sec?

- I'm out.

- And the phone will have a little sleeping bag

so you can be right there in the tent with us.

- Sounds good.

- Really, Clyde?

You're replacing me as a best friend?

- That's right. - You should've said something.

I didn't even notice you were mad.

- Probably because you were too busy

bobsledding over my broken heart!

- I think you're being a little dramatic.

- You know who doesn't think I'm being dramatic?

My new best friend, Bobby.

- No hard feelings, Lincoln?

- Fine. I'll just go call Charlie.

- OK, do that.

- Bobby? How could you?

- I'm sorry, babe, but I'm joining the sleepover.

For the rest of the weekend, it's gonna be me, Clyde,

and the rest of the guys.

And nothing you can say will make me change my mind.

- [sighs] Come on, Bobby.

What do you want to do next?

- That country phrase you gave me

really unlocked the whole song.

Come on in.

Yeah, come on. [chuckles]

Since you were my inspiration,

I wanted you to be the first to hear it.

- Ma'am, that'll make me happier

than a tick on a hound dog.

- There's another one!

You're a genius.

[scribbling]

[soft guitar melody]

♪ You came to me, a pretty country boy ♪

♪ Planted my pain and grew me so much joy ♪

♪ Like a fortune teller at a country fair ♪

♪ This fella knew what to say ♪

♪ To fill my truck tires with air ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Stars shine brightest in the dark of night ♪

♪ Shine on me till what's wrong is right ♪

♪ Shine on me in the hardest times ♪

♪ When the pain has no reason ♪

♪ And the hurt has no rhyme ♪

both: ♪ Shine ♪

♪ Sh--sh--sh--sh--sh-- shine ♪

- ♪ Shine on me in the darkest times ♪

both: ♪ Shine ♪

♪ Shine on me ♪

♪ ♪

- So? What did you think?

[angelic music]

[laughter] - Hey, Liam.

Zach just farted in a bag. Want to smell it?

- I'm in love, boys.

- Aw, man, what did you eat?

Oh! - [coughing]

- Luan! There you are. - Hey, what's wrong?

- Bobby is literally obsessed with sleepovers.

He just ditched me.

And apparently, there's nothing I can say

to change his mind.

- Nothing you can say.

- I'm gonna go grab some more marshmallows.

- Get the jumbo size. - Yep.

- Best night ever!

- [in rough voice] Got room for one more on that log?

[lonesome harmonica music]

- Um...

♪ ♪

Sure.

- I can... [sniffs loudly]

smell a sleepover from miles away.

Appreciate your kindness in having me.

- Who are you?

- The name's Johnny.

Johnny, uh, Sleepover.

And I have been riding the rails

from one sleepover to the next

for as long as I can remember.

Every bed is a bag.

Every dinner's a s'more.

- Wow, that's incredible.

- It's been a good life, man. [chuckles]

There have been some sacrifices, of course.

No kids.

No wife.

No girlfriends.

No lasting, meaningful relationships of any kind.

A life totally devoid of love.

- Would you excuse me a moment, Mr. Sleepover?

♪ ♪

- And scene.

- Sorry, Clyde. I can't be your best friend anymore.

- Lola, who was my second choice for best friend?

- You sure you can't make Bobby work?

- I'm coming, Lori! - [sighs]

- I don't think so.

- I'm glad Clyde didn't pick us to be his best friend.

- Yeah. Who needs Clyde anyway? We got each other.

- Bobby's out. You're Clyde's new best friend.

- [gasps] Anything is possible!

- Whatever.

Let's go.

- I can't believe that actually worked.

- Turns out acting's the easy part.

It's taking off the costume that's the hard part.

- Well, I don't know how I'm ever going to thank you.

- This mustache is on pretty good.

Well, you could actually help me by--

[screams]

Thanks.

- [sighs]

I feel a little guilty for tricking Bobby.

- Hey, babe.

I--I'm sorry for wanting to hang out with Lincoln

and his friends.

I never told anyone this, but when I was a kid,

my biggest dream was to attend a sleepover.

And it never happened 'cause

I always had to work on the weekends.

The closest I ever got was when we got

a midnight produce delivery at themercado,

and I fell asleep on a pile of avocados

next to Tortilla, the store cat.

On Monday mornings at school,

all the kids would talk about their pillow fights

and all the other fun stuff they did.

And I just told myself, "Don't worry, Bobby.

Someday, you'll get to do that stuff."

But I never did.

Anyways, I'm stoked to resume the rest of our date.

I think the next activity is me painting your toenails.

I'll go get my supplies!

- OK, now I feel really guilty. - You should.

- That doesn't sound like Clyde.

Are you sure he's trying to replace you?

- He held auditions for a new best friend.

- Ouch. - I don't need Clyde.

As long as I have you to talk to, I'm fine.

- Homework, Charlie. - Ah, I gotta go.

My mom is making me do my homework.

But just remember, Clyde's overreacting.

And you have to be the bigger man.

Bye. [phone beeps]

- Ooh, Clyde.

Look, I know there's been some friction between us,

but I've decided I'm going to be the bigger man.

I'm not gonna let one afternoon get in the way of

a lifelong friendship.

- That was a good water fight, Clyde.

Thanks for lending me the dry clothes.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- All right. Let's do this.

[soft upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Welcome aboard.

- So that's it? I got the gig?

- Well, there's one more thing.

♪ ♪

[tense western music]

♪ ♪

- Well, best friend.

Are you ready to have an awesome time?

- Yeah, sure?

- What about you, best friend?

Are we gonna have an even greater time?

- Woo! Yeah! Best friend!

We're going for the record.

This guy is the best grape catcher.

Oh, double. Oh, oh, handful.

Oh! Woo! [laughs] Oh--oh!

- Truth or dare?

- Truth.

- Who's your best friend? - My dad.

[foot stomps] Ow.

My mom. [foot stomps] Ow.

I mean you! [juice box bangs]

- Yeah, go, Rusty!

- Whoa, whoa!

Whoa. [loud thud]

- There you go, pal.

There you go, best friend.

[forcefully] Look at how much fun we're having!

- [screams] [crashing]

[soft music]

♪ ♪

- "Meet me where the fancy folks chow,

"the dining room. Liam."

♪ ♪

- Hey, Liam, I got your...note.

- I'm not an eloquent man, but here goes.

Webster's dictionary defines love as--

- Please stop. - I couldn't if I wanted to.

When you wrote that song about me,

it changed the course of my life.

My mee-maw taught me two things:

don't hitch your wagon to a three-legged horse,

and never second-guess true love.

[soft romantic music]

- Uh, this is so nice. Everything looks amazing.

- Thanks. It's all freshly slaughtered.

- That's...gross.

But anyway, I have to be honest with you--

- No matter what you say, it cannot change my mind.

We are meant to be.

- I have a girlfriend.

- I wish you a life filled with happiness and joy.

[romantic music stops]

[upbeat music]

- Hey, Lori.

Oh! - [laughs]

Welcome to your first slumber party.

- Slumber party?

Oh!

What's this?

- Lori's literally legendary gross-out guzzler.

The first one to put it down, and keep it down, wins.

- Awesome! [glasses clink]

You're the best girlfriend ever.

I'm totally gonna paint your nails after this.

Is this salmon?

I'm so good at this!

[retching]

- How's it going in there?

- Awesome! [laughs]

[retching]

- [groans]

I don't want to do this anymore, Lincoln.

- What do you mean?

Best friends don't just give up on each other.

- We're not best friends, man!

To be honest, it's dangerous.

[glasses shattering] - [gasps]

- [muffled] I don't like it either.

I don't agree with Clyde's shellfish

- Uh, they're Shrimp Puffs,

and you're probably reacting to how delicious they are.

Lincoln loves 'em. - Yeah.

- Well then, give them to Lincoln!

You guys deserve each other.

- Come on.

Let's see if this house of horrors has a first aid kit.

- I do love your Shrimp Puffs.

They're a perfect combination of

cheese and shrimp in a flaky biscuit.

- See? You get me. - Yeah.

- I'm sorry I held auditions to replace you as a best friend.

- I'm sorry I strapped my girlfriend to my chest

and b*at our longstanding indoor bobsledding

world record.

You know, if you had one more audition,

I'd love to try out.

- You already got the part.

both: ♪ Pillow fight, pillow fight ♪

♪ Setting up a tent ♪

♪ Marshmallow on a stick, roast it on the fire pit ♪

- [in raspy voice] There's nothing like

a good tale of friendship.

There's ups and downs,

and everythin' in-between.

But as long as everyone has a soft spot to lay their head,

and nobody goes to bed angry,

that's just about the cat's meow.

Was it the best sleepover of their young lives?

Maybe not.

But they all have a story to tell.

Relationships were tested,

only to pass with flying colors.

And though hearts were broken,

memories were made

that would last a lifetime.

♪ ♪

Though a lot of things changed that weekend...

- You ready to b*at that record?

- You know it. [phone ringing]

- You want to get that?

- It's OK. I'll call her later.

- Some things are built to last.

both: Luan! Look out!

[all shouting]