01x16 - Spelling and Doorbelling

[bunniefuu]

- [whistles] - Come on!

It's picture time!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ Really Loud house ♪

[soft music]

- Just wait till they hear the news, Todd.

It's not every day you win the popular category

of Calculating Amplitude Using the Rodeo Algorithm

for Quantum Computing.

- You go, girl.

- Keep it professional, Todd. They're home.

- I detect sounds of celebration.

- News this big was bound to spread quickly.

Prepare to bask in the glow of victory, Todd.

- Transitioning to "bask" mode.

all: Lynn, Lynn, Lynn, Lynn!

- Bring the pizza! - Whoo!

- End "bask" mode, Todd. They didn't notice.

- Oh, Lisa, congratulations are in order.

- My team just won their th game in a row.

- Well, our team.

I am the assistant to the assistant assistant coach.

- Don't you just bring the orange slices?

- Yeah, but if anything happens to those three guys,

guess who steps in as head coach--orange slice guy.

That's what they call me.

They haven't learned my name yet.

- Next stop, championship! - Whoo!

- As long as I don't take off this lucky hat,

it's a lock.

- Congratulations, Lynn.

[soft music]

- Todd? - Free pizza.

It's Hawaiian.

I'm a sucker for hot pineapple.

[doorbell rings]

- I hate to leave Lynn's party early,

but Clyde and I have a winning streak of our own going on,

though we're not quite ready to celebrate just yet.

- You ready for this? - Ding to the dong, baby.

[exciting music]

It's taken us / years,

but Clyde and I have successfully ding-dong ditched

every house in Royal Woods.

[doorbell rings] - Ah, ah!

[light music]

[doorbell rings]

♪ ♪

- That was awesome! We're geniuses!

[grunts]

[doorbell rings]

[both laughing]

- And I mean every house.

- Leave my house alone!

- Except one.

But not for long because we are finally getting Mr. Grouse.

- [in gravelly voice] I wouldn't do that if I were you.

[coughing]

Sorry, I just did the cinnamon challenge.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Mr. Grouse may seem like your average grumpy old neighbor,

but trust me, there's more to him than meets the eye.

- Great story. - Okay, bye.

- It was ten years ago.

I was just getting into the prank game,

still seeing the world

through rose-colored springy eyeball glasses.

It was a simple mailbox job, in and out.

Nobody gets hurt.

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

- So what happened? - I can't tell you.

- Then why'd you tell us? - I can't tell you that either.

- Fine. - See you later.

- But I will say,

that day changed the course of my pranking career forever.

[tense music]

- Because? - I can't say.

- Could you say goodbye?

Because we've got one last ding-dong to ditch.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I'm sorry, I don't give autographs while I'm training.

- If you don't mind, I have a few questions

and queries about your sport ball game.

- Baseball? - Baseball.

So one person hits, and one person throws.

- Right.

- So if you're the hitter,

the person who throws the ball to you is called--

- The loser. - Loser.

Now, this loser--

- I kind of need to get my reps in.

Could we do this another time? - Of course, carry on.

♪ ♪

So when you steal a base,

can the other team steal it back,

or is it yours to keep?

Just one more question.

When a player hits a home run, is it customary

to peacock around the bases, or is that considered

poor sports-ball-ship?

- What's going on?

- I've decided to join

an after-school baseball competition.

- Oh, wow, Lisa, that's great. Another athlete in the family.

- Yup. - When's your first game?

- Tomorrow after school.

So if I could just ask you my remaining , questions.

- Nope.

- I'll come back later. - Please don't.

- As the assistant to the assistant assistant coach,

I'd be happy to answer all of your questions.

- No thanks.

- Orange slice? - Sure, thank you.

- Oh--

♪ ♪

- If you're watching this years from now,

this is the moment that Lincoln and Clyde

successfully completed

the Royal Woods ding-dong ditch sweep.

- My name is Clyde McBride, saying with pride, let's ride.

- Did you just make that up?

- I've been workshopping that for two years.

♪ ♪

- Oh, oh, oh.

This is Lincoln Loud, and I am very proud.

I wish I had written something. - That's all right, Lincoln.

The only thing that matters is the history

we're about to make.

- That was awesome too.

- We're modern-day Neil Armstrongs.

- One small ding for man, one giant dong for mankind.

[doorbell rings]

- Ah! - Ah!

Mr. Grouse!

- What are you boys doing?

- Nothing.

- Looked to me like you were about to ding-dong ditch me.

- No, we weren't.

- Then what, pray tell, was the reason

for the ding-dong?

If the ding-dong was unmotivated,

one must assume you were perpetrating a ditch.

- It was just a harmless prank.

- Oh, a prank.

You want a prank w*r?

You got one. Sleep with one eye open, Loud.

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

You too, little friend.

♪ ♪

And I know where you live.

And I'll find out where you live.

[both scream] - That wasn't a prank.

That was just a warm-up. Now skee-daddle.

[both scream]

- This is gonna be fun.

- She said her game was at :.

I don't know why no one was on the baseball field.

- Uh, hey, check it out.

- Now batting for the Owls, Lisa Loud!

- Go, Lisa! - Lisa!

- Easy out, easy out, easy out!

- I will go for base number three.

- The word is...

camaraderie.

- C-A-M-A-R-A-D-E-R-I-E. Camaraderie.

- That's a triple into the gap.

- Yes!

- You have to go to third base, Lisa.

[light music]

Not directly.

- Oh, right, rule B.

♪ ♪

Seems like the longest possible route, but who am I to judge?

- This is weird, right? - Yeah.

- Next up, Denunzio! - Whoo!

- I'll go for a single.

I should go for a home run 'cause there's ladies watching,

but I'll do what Coach says.

- The word is...

gnome.

- Piece of cake, N--

- You're out! And that's the game.

Final score, the Bees, , the Owls, .

- We won! - Not even close.

Sit down, Denunzio.

- Nobody tells Denunzio to sit down.

But it just so happens, I feel like sitting down.

- Good job, everyone. Next game is Thursday.

- Hey, Lynn, you saw the game?

Pretty exciting stuff, huh?

- Yeah, yeah, I didn't know if you were gonna

spell the word right or...

wrong.

- [chuckles]

- Guess there's two jocks in the family now.

- Lynn, we gotta get to practice.

Good luck on your next game.

I hope you spell a home run.

[laughter]

[soft music]

- Uh, good job today. I gotta go.

♪ ♪

[rooster crowing]

♪ ♪

- I knew Luan was wrong.

Clyde and I were never scared of our grumpy old neighbor.

That man is all crank and no prank.

Not in my house, Grouse.

[upbeat music]

[expl*si*n]

[whimsical music]

♪ ♪

[panting] Mr. Grouse got me!

- He got me too.

- Morning, boys!

Oh, what's wrong?

You're looking a little blue. [wheezing]

- Okay, he got even.

- Yeah, maybe this is it.

- If you're thinking this is it, it isn't.

- He's probably just exaggerating.

- And I'm not exaggerating.

- He has really good hearing.

- I do have good hearing. Now hear this.

You boys wrote a check your butts can't cash.

- All right, let's review.

We go down to the post office.

We priority mail ourselves to Grouse's house.

Two business days later, we arrive.

He opens the package.

Smoke bombs, smoke bombs, smoke bombs.

You release the spiders, cut the power,

ring the doorbell, and run.

- If we cut the power, will the doorbell ring?

- It's a prank w*r, Clyde, not a prank Q&A.

- I got a Q. How dumb are you two?

I also got the A:

Very.

When it comes to pranks,

you don't want to mess with Bud Grouse.

- Why? - Can't tell you.

both: Come on! - Fine.

You ever heard of the Day of Pigs?

- You mean the Bay of Pigs? - No, Day of Pigs.

March , .

Grouse released a hundred greased pigs

into the town hall,

and all because the city raised his electric bill

by ¢.

Remember when someone gave the town collective amnesia?

both: No.

- That's because he's the best.

If you're gonna go up against Grouse,

you're gonna need my help.

- Thanks for the offer, Luan, but we got this.

Grouse may have been the best back in the day,

but there's some new pranksters in town.

Let's go, Clyde.

Ah!

Someone glued our shoes to the floor.

- Grouse.

- You know where to find me.

[light music]

- We still got this, Clyde. - Yeah.

Whoa!

♪ ♪

- Oh, hey, slugger, what's up?

- Did you hear somebody, Todd? Because I didn't.

- No sound waves detected.

- If this is about yesterday, we really didn't mean

to hurt your feelings when we--

- Laughed in our faces? - I didn't laugh.

I was just surprised because I wasn't expecting

to see something that was...

so cool!

- Lie detected. Engaging lasers.

- Stand down, Todd.

It's okay. Our team is horrible.

Everyone spells above their grade level,

but when it comes to the intensity

of organized athletics, we shrink like a black hole

dealing with Hawking radiation.

I've canceled our last practice.

We'll get crushed tomorrow,

and our season will mercifully end.

- Tell your team practice is back on.

I'm taking over, and you guys aren't gonna shrink

like that Hawking thing that you were talking about.

I'm gonna coach your team, and you're gonna win that game.

[soft music]

- [grunts]

Okay, on three.

both: One, two, three.

[screaming]

[wind howling]

- Grouse must have changed the address.

- I thought the truck ride felt long.

[hawk shrieks]

- The extra dollar for tracking doesn't seem so bad right now.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Say it.

both: We need your help.

♪ ♪

- Have a seat.

[whoopee cushions deflate loudly]

In the prank game, rule number one,

never trust anyone.

Now let's prank this thing up to .

[buzzer blares]

[exciting music]

♪ ♪

Right?

- Sports is like no other battle.

- No other!

- It's not like a test you take in school.

- It's real life, people.

- [whispering] We're doing great.

- Once you're in the arena, you either win or lose

because in crunch time, when the going gets tough,

the tough get...

- A note from their parents? - A therapy animal?

- A do-over? - Asthma.

- No!

The tough get going!

Now who's ready to get going and win that game tomorrow?

all: We are? - Come on!

all: We are!

- When it comes to pranks, nothing is more important

than the element of surprise.

Now get me a drink.

- I bet she shook up the can.

[grunts]

- I saw that one coming.

- Did you?

- Winning or losing comes down to one moment.

So you need to be on your toes at all times.

- I before E except after-- - C!

- Ah!

- You guys are ready.

- In the prank game, you need to know

where your enemies are at all times.

'Cause you never know when you're about to get pranked.

- I don't see anyone.

- [laughing] I saw that one coming.

Why'd you do that?

- [grunts]

- Classic, "kick me."

[grunts]

- You guys are ready.

- Back of the house all set.

- Front of the house all set.

And the best part is, it all starts with a simple--

[doorbell rings] - I'm coming, I'm coming!

[buzz] Ah!

- Super-powered vibrating door handle.

- Which should knock him back into the--

[boing]

- Spring-loaded recliner, which will launch him

into the Velcro ceiling.

[thud] - Oh, no!

- And if I know gravity, he'll fall directly

onto the lever that releases the--

[click] - Greased pigs.

[pigs squealing] - And as they all run amok--

- They will trigger the motion sensors,

which will set off the grand finale, fireworks.

[police sirens wailing]

- And last but not least,

we hear the sirens heading toward where we're sitting.

- Right.

Wait, what?

- [screaming] - Run away!

- All right, who's ready to stick it to the Bees?

We're gonna win this game with our bats and our minds.

- Go get 'em, kid. Good luck.

- Don't wish me good luck now.

Save it for the cafeteria field.

- Oh, I'm not coming to the game.

I have my own game.

- You said, "I'm gonna coach your team,

and we're gonna win that game."

- No, I said, "I'm gonna coach your team,

and you're gonna win that game."

You didn't think I was gonna skip my game

to come to your game, did you?

- Of course not.

- Tonight is my championship game.

I haven't taken off this hat in days.

You guys will be fine.

I before E except after...

- C.

[soft music]

C...you later.

♪ ♪

- Lisa.

If anyone rings the doorbell, we've been here all day.

- Do you guys want to come to my spelling baseball game?

- No one would believe that as an alibi.

- [sighs]

[tense music]

- Well, should we at least cross off Grouse's house?

- We might have to cross off Grouse.

♪ ♪

- Oh, no.

Do they have a jail for pranks?

- I think it's called jail.

Mr. Grouse! We're so sorry.

- Yeah, we never meant to--

- Ah! [both scream]

- [laughs] - Mr. Grouse.

How are you still-- - Alive?

I was never in the house at all.

- How did you-- - Know?

Let's just say, I had a little help from a friend.

[dramatic music]

[both laughing]

- Rule number one, never trust anyone.

[light music]

- Give me a W! all: W!

- Give me an I! all: I!

- Give me an N! all: N!

- What's it spell? all: Win!

- Give me an L, give me a Y, give me a double N!

What does that spell? all: Lynn!

- Who broke her promise? all: Lynn!

- Who crushed my soul? all: Lynn!

- Who's gonna regret it forever?

all: Lynn!

- Turn the van around!

[tires squealing]

- So you and Mr. Grouse were working as a team?

- We've been working as a team for quite some time.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

You like pranks, huh?

So do I.

[laughs] - [laughs]

From that day forward,

Mr. Grouse took me under his wing.

He taught me everything he ever knew about pranks.

- Well, Mr. Grouse, you got us good.

- Well, I didn't get you good.

Your sister did.

She pulled out all the classics:

The Blue Bomber...

[upbeat music]

The Shoe Glue Special,

and my favorite, the old Desert Switcheroo.

♪ ♪

- Luan, why would you do this to us?

- You tried to ding-dong ditch Mr. Grouse.

And nobody messes with my mentor.

- You know, the last lesson I taught Luan

was the importance of sportsmanship.

So we're gonna call a truce.

Shake on it?

[electricity buzzing]

[both screaming]

- Ow, ah! - Oh!

- The word is gnocchi.

- I know this one. My mother makes it.

It's delicious.

N-- - You're out!

- Pasta fazool!

- That's two outs. Next up, Lisa Loud.

This is the Owls' last chance. all: Easy out, easy out.

Easy out.

- When the going gets tough--

- The tough get going.

- You came. - You kidding?

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

- Really? - Really.

Now go win that game.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

- I'll take a home run.

- [gasps]

- [chuckles]

[tense music]

- The word is...

ubiquitous.

- U-B-I-Q-U-I-

T-O-U-S.

Ubiquitous!

♪ ♪

[exciting music]

♪ ♪

Yes!

all: Lisa, Lisa, Lisa! - Whoo!

all: Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!

- Please, please, please!

Keep it going.

all: Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!

- I must say, I've read a lot about sports moments

in my studies on adrenaline, vis-à-vis, performance,

but I never dreamed I'd have one myself.

It was, in a word, exhilarating.

- You know, Lisa, you really showed some stuff out there.

I think you might be ready for some big-time sports.

- I just talked with my science teacher,

and we're forming a periodic table football league.

- That's exactly what I meant.

- Well, if your team needs an assistant coach,

I know a guy who's really good with orange slices.

Come on, everybody, let's eat.

Ha-ha!

- Thanks for everything, Lynn. Here's your lucky hat.

- You keep it.

- I want to hug you right now, but I feel a fist bump

would be more fitting.

The irony is not lost on me

that you showed up the moment I needs you most,

and the word that propelled us to victory was ubiquitous!

- I don't know what most of those words mean,

so I'll just say you're welcome.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪