01x10 - No Louds Allowed

[bunniefuu]

- [whistles] - Let's go, everybody!

Picture time!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪ - Come on!

- ♪ The really loud house ♪

♪ ♪

♪ The really loud house ♪

♪ ♪

[energetic electronic music]

- Uh, excuse me?

- Come on, push it!

- Are you taking a Pedal-A-Ton class

in my bedroom? - No, I'm teaching one.

Come on, Brenda, you're not forking over

your hard-earned cash to lollygag.

Let's go!

♪ ♪

- Isn't there someplace else you could do that?

Like, I don't know, your room?

- You're the only one without a roommate, bro.

I'll be out of here soon,

as soon as Brenda picks up the pace!

♪ ♪

- In the Loud house, space is always at a premium,

and lately, my sisters have been encroaching on mine.

[relaxed electronic music]

♪ ♪

Can't you keep that in your room?

- It's jam-packed, plus I can't have this around Lily.

It would be summarily irresponsible.

- Uh, should I be wearing goggles too?

- I'll tell you when the experiment is concluded.

♪ ♪

[quirky music]

- Snappy had babies.

- [hisses] - Turtles hiss?

- When you breed them with snakes, they do.

♪ ♪

- Who needs underwear?

It's getting to be a little much.

[screams]

- Tanya and I are not on speaking terms.

[energetic electronic music]

- I would definitely wear the goggles.

- All right, this stops now.

[whistle blows]

- I mean, she totally... - Why are we...

[all speaking indistinctly] - Order, order!

Order! Order!

- Is he allowed to call family meetings now?

- This better be important.

[Lily crying]

[both sigh]

- Lily's on a sleep strike.

We only slept minutes last night.

Oh, we should do the stroller trick.

- Mm, mm-hmm.

- I've called this family meeting

to address the constant infringement

on my personal space AKA my bedroom,

which isn't very big to begin with.

- Your room's not that small.

- Lana, I have to step outside to change my mind.

- [chuckles]

You know, I should tell more jokes

in my family meetings.

[quirky music]

I'll get the stroller.

- Linc, you're the only one without a roommate.

- I beg to differ.

I'm here quite often, and this morning,

my cubby had an engine block in it.

♪ ♪

- That's a carburetor, dude. - Great.

That's much more normal. - Let's cut to the chase.

New rule. - He's doing new rules now?

- Unacceptable.

- From now on, nobody puts their stuff

or themselves in my room. - Our room.

- Our room. - What?

- That's not fair. - That's so unfair.

[all speaking indistinctly]

- Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln.

First of all, you're not allowed to make new rules.

Right, honey? - What?

- Trust me, she's totally onboard.

And secondly, as previously stated,

you're the only one with no roommate.

- I live in a closet.

- Where things are traditionally stored.

Look, the point is, we've got a big family,

and it can get pretty crowded,

so if you can find a little extra space,

it's all yours. Now, give me my whistle.

Okay, welcome to the family meeting.

So a priest, a rabbi, and a minister...

- Nope. - No.

- What? Where are you going?

Come back, it's a-- hey!

[exhales]

Come on, guys, get back here!

[exhales] Ugh.

- I think it worked.

[tranquil music box music]

- [blows whistle] Hey!

I fixed it. - I'm up, I'm up!

- [sighs]

- Let's play!

- Please go to sleep.

[smooth funk music]

♪ ♪

- That's all you brought up?

- These snapping turtles are vicious.

Gotta handle with care.

♪ ♪

That's not my fault.

The box is clearly mislabeled.

It should say, "Chewing turtles."

♪ ♪

- [speaking sedately] That's it.

Stay in rhythm.

Maintain that bounce.

- [sighs] My thighs are burning.

- That's good.

You're in the burn zone,

which is right before the sleep zone.

Stay calm, stay in rhythm,

stay focused.

- It's really hard to stay focused

when you're talking in that tone.

- I'm not in that tone anymore. This is a brand-new tone.

- It sounds like the same tone.

- Sorry, it's hard to get out of a tone

once you're in a tone. - Shh.

- Yes, shh.

- That was for you. - Yeah.

[tranquil music box music]

[smooth funk music]

♪ ♪

- [sighs] I think that's everything.

- Man, we could be professional movers.

[glass shatters]

[helmet clatters]

- Look at all this stuff. Hey, look at me.

I'm talking on the phone.

[elegant chamber music]

[posh accent] Hello, I'd like to rent a video

and call a taxi cab please-- [body thuds]

[exhales deeply] Whew.

The 's were dangerous.

- Check it out, an old TV, a mini fridge.

- Yeah, there is some pretty cool stuff up here.

[record crackles]

[groovy jazz music]

♪ ♪

This should be our new hangout.

- Is that allowed?

- My dad did say if we find any extra space,

it's all ours. I say we start moving in.

- Shouldn't we find those turtles first?

- Nah, they'll be fine.

[tranquil music box music]

- [English accent] The mother did quite well

in pacifying the child, and the father's

audiobook English guy tone was really doing the trick.

Suddenly, silently...

an aggressive-looking turtle

approached the yoga ball.

- What? [turtle chomps]

[air whooshing]

♪ ♪

- I'm up. - [sighs]

The unpredictability of nature.

♪ ♪

Chapter two, Dad stops talking.

- I love a good green smoothie.

This morning, I had one with kale

and baby spinach and ginger.

[muffled smooth soul music]

[Sade's "The Sweetest Taboo"]

- ♪ Will you keep on, will you keep on loving me? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ If I tell you, if I tell you how I feel ♪

- Wow, cool place. - Yeah, pretty swanky.

What happened to all the stuff that was up here?

- We found a place for it.

[quirky music]

- Let's check it out. - Okay.

[smooth soul music]

♪ ♪

Um, there's a rope in our way.

- Clyde, do you see these two young ladies on the list?

- Uh, is one of your names Lincoln or Clyde?

- No.

- I'm sorry. The list has spoken.

- Have a nice night, ladies.

- Seriously?

♪ ♪

- Ping-pong? - Why not?

♪ ♪

- What's going on up there?

- Lincoln and Clyde opened some dumb boy cave up in the attic.

- Yeah, and unless you're on the list,

you're not allowed to go in. - Sigh.

- What do you mean, you're not allowed to go in?

- Go in where? I want to go in.

- Oh, I'm getting in there.

- Guys, guys, Mom is trying to put Lily to sleep.

Besides, if anyone's going up there, it is me.

I own this house, and there are certain perks and privileges

that come with said title.

[trap door thuds[

- You're not on the list either!

- Hey, hey, no, no, no, no, no.

Nobody tells the big dog where he can and cannot go.

- Lynn, get down here! - I gotta go.

- All right, night two in the rad retro room.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any radder,

I found a Slinky. - Rad.

- So rad.

- I imagine the line is forming.

Should we make them sweat it out a little longer,

or turn 'em away now?

[laughter]

- Let's turn them away now.

That's weird. Nobody's in line.

I'm sure they'll be here soon.

[upbeat dance music]

- Uh, Lincoln, you may want to check this out.

[Haddaway's "What Is Love [Baby Don't Hurt Me]"]

♪ ♪

- Oh, please, they think that place

is gonna out-cool the rad retro room?

I mean, am I right, or am I right?

♪ ♪

- ♪ I don't know why you're not there ♪

- Clyde!

- ♪ I give you my love, but you don't care ♪

- Save my spot! I'm coming down.

♪ ♪

[upbeat dance music]

[indistinct chatter]

♪ ♪

- Wow, a bubble machine and a selfie station.

We should've thought of that. - We gotta get in there.

Come on, Clyde, act like we belong here.

Let's start mingling.

♪ ♪

- So what middle school do you go to?

♪ ♪

Cool, we'll talk later.

We're gonna talk later. - Sorry, bye-bye.

♪ ♪

- Don't bother trying to get in.

- They turned us away unceremoniously.

- We're not worried. We're fellow club owners.

I'm sure they'll be happy to have us.

- Sigh.

♪ ♪

- Are these two gentlemen on the list?

- Not unless their names are Lincoln or Clyde.

- Sweet!

- Leni, I told you to keep Lincoln and Clyde off the list.

- Oh, this Lincoln and Clyde.

Oh, bubbles. [chuckles]

- Is that another bubble? - You guys aren't getting in.

You didn't let us into your place.

- That was a big misunderstanding.

- Yeah, when we excluded you from our club,

we didn't know that you'd have a cool club

that we we'd want to get into.

- Now that we've cleared that up,

who takes our coats?

♪ ♪

- For everybody lucky enough to be in the club tonight,

get your booties to the dance floor

'cause it's time to dance with your hands!

[all cheering]

- ♪ Dance with your hands, dance with your hands, dance ♪

- ♪ Dance, dance ♪

- ♪ Dance with your hands, dance with your hands, dance ♪

- ♪ Dance, dance ♪

- ♪ Dance with your hands, dance with your hands, dance ♪

- Have some pride, man.

- ♪ Dance with your hands, dance with your hands, dance ♪

- ♪ Dance, dance ♪

[tranquil music box music]

♪ ♪

- Let's rock.

Forever!

[ringing bells]

[upbeat rock music]

[growls] Rock and roll!

- So we had a plan to open a cool club,

but then they had a better plan to open a better club,

so now we need a plan that counters their plan.

- You really think we can do that?

- Of course we can.

No one out-plans the man with the plan.

♪ ♪

I've got it.

[together] Please let us in, please!

- We're not gonna let you in.

- But we will post your sad, cute faces.

- This is the worst.

[phone clicks]

♪ ♪

- Wait a minute. It's not letting me post.

- The Wi-Fi is down.

- Oh, no Wi-Fi. - What, the Wi-Fi's down?

[indistinct chatter]

[crickets chirping]

- You guys did this. - Did what?

- You couldn't get into our club,

so you sabotaged our Wi-Fi.

- I don't know how to sabotage Wi-Fi.

Who am I, Bill Nye the Science Guy?

- Okay, well, what about Clyde? He wears glasses.

- No, I don't.

- Oh, I'm sorry, Clyde.

- Okay, well someone had to have done it.

Wi-Fi doesn't just turn off itself.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

♪ ♪

- Those green drinks look delicious.

Green is my favorite flavor. [chuckles]

♪ ♪

- Cool place, Lucy.

- Uh, can we get a coffin for four?

- Sorry, you're not on the list.

- They didn't let us in either.

- Apparently, we're not from another time or dimension.

- It's a very exclusive club.

- Whatever. - Come on.

- You have to let us in. - Yeah, you took our Wi-Fi.

- Good point, Leni. - Clyde?

When did you get glasses?

- The Wi-Fi going out was an unintended side effect

from the plutonium orb that powers our jukebox.

♪ ♪

- What is this witchery?

Ooh, Huey Lewis!

♪ ♪

- Okay, this is ridiculous.

- Yeah, who listens to Huey Lewis?

- I love Huey Lewis.

- Besides, you're our little sisters.

You can't keep us out of this place.

- We can't.

♪ ♪

- But he can.

♪ ♪

- [speaking alien language]

♪ ♪

- Can we get the green drinks to go?

♪ ♪

- I hope this works.

- It's gonna work.

A late night drive always knocks 'em out.

- I tell you, the last few days have not been easy,

but you and I can do anything 'cause we are a great team.

- Well, it was your great idea to take Lily for a drive.

- Yeah, well, you loaded her in.

[dramatic music]

You loaded her in, right?

Oh.

- You said you were gonna load her in!

- Well, I had the great idea. Why would I also load her in?

[tires squealing]

[car horn blaring] Sorry!

- So here's the plan.

You guys distract Lucy and Lisa.

- We grab the green drinks.

- And you snatch the plutonium orb.

- I'll probably sip it first.

- Once we have the orb, it will disable the jukebox.

No jukebox, no music. No music, no party.

- Maybe I'll save a little bit in a thermos for later.

- And if there's no party, their club's out of business,

and our clubs are back in business.

- Let's do this.

- One, two, three.

[together] Let's do this!

- Green drinks!

♪ ♪

[playful music]

- Oh.

[laughing]

♪ ♪

- Who's ready to dance with your hands?

[all cheer]

- You're gonna be good at this.

- ♪ Dance with your hands, dance with your hands, dance ♪

- ♪ Dance, dance ♪

- ♪ Dance with your hands, dance with your hands, dance ♪

- Hey, what are you guys doing here?

- Dancing with our hands. - Yeah.

[upbeat dance music]

♪ ♪

- Hello. How are you today, sir?

[dramatic music]

- [hisses] - [screams]

- Whoa.

[music ceases]

- Okay, new plan.

- Well, we really did it to ourselves, didn't we?

- Yep, we're cold, we're hungry,

and we're sitting in the dark.

- I'm so hungry. - I'm so hungry.

- We were so focused on being exclusive,

now we have nowhere to go.

- We're all on the guest list on the club of shame.

- Oh, can we go there? - No.

- I'll tell you one thing,

I'm not interested in getting into

any more exclusive clubs.

[rock music blaring distantly]

♪ ♪

[yawns]

Well, I'm going to bed.

♪ ♪

- Sorry about before.

Even though I had the great idea,

I should've put Lily in the car.

- I know.

- Hey, maybe you could sing her to sleep.

You have such a beautiful voice.

- I know.

♪ Hush little baby, don't say a word ♪

♪ Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird ♪

♪ And if that mockingbird don't sing ♪

♪ Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring ♪

♪ And if that diamond ring is brass ♪

♪ Mama's gonna buy you a-- ♪ Telephone pole!

- Whoa! Ooh, ah!

[quirky music]

- I'm up. Let's play!

[both sigh]

[Poison's "Nothin' But a Good Time"]

- ♪ Every day, gotta get a break ♪

♪ From that same old, same old ♪

- Pump the brakes. You're not on the list.

- How do you guys even have power?

- Come on, Brenda, you call that pedaling?

If you want to keep the lights on,

you're gonna have to dig deeper than that!

- She's powering this entire establishment

with one stationary bicycle?

- No, she's just powering the heat lamps

for the jalapeño poppers.

- I'm getting a little help from legendary skateboarder

and five-time Kids' Choice Award winner

Tony Hawk.

♪ ♪

- You're skateboarding a treadmill?

- I'll skate anything.

- Ease up a little, Birdman.

You're overheating the chicken wings.

♪ ♪

[both sigh]

- Sorry I fell asleep before.

It's just your voice is so beautiful.

- I know. - [sighs]

She's gotta fall asleep soon, right?

- No.

- Ooh, maybe you could tell her the story

about how you came up with the name Lynn-chilada.

- Oh, are you suggesting

I fascinate her to sleep?

All right, fine, I'll tell it.

It as opening night at Lynn's Table,

and I needed one more menu item

to really pull in the customers.

The moon as full, but our tummies weren't,

and I realized that I had overordered corn tortillas.

- I do love that part.

- I had meat, I had cheese, I had tomatoes,

and plenty of black beans.

So I went into the pantry, and wouldn't you know it.

I had under ordered jalapeños.

So I had to substitute them with--

oak trees! - [gasps]

[tires squeal]

[both gasping]

- Oak trees!

[quirky music]

- [sighs]

- Come on, just let us in. - We're starving.

- Come on. - So hungry.

- You guys didn't let us into your club.

- Well, Leni and Luna didn't let us into their club.

- Well, Clyde and Lincoln didn't let us into their club.

- Hey, we had a very good reason for that.

Lincoln, what was the reason? - I don't know.

But I'm getting some of those chicken wings.

- You cross that line, you're gonna get decked

by one of those wings. - You wouldn't.

- No, but I would.

Oh, and by the way, they're delicious.

- Well, then maybe you should try them with some...

[quirky music]

Nachos.

♪ ♪

- [laughs]

- Oh, is that funny, Clyde?

Because the potato skins are hilarious.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Leni, why'd you do that?

- I don't know. Seemed fun.

♪ ♪

- It is fun.

- Nothing's more fun than guacamole!

♪ ♪

- [gasps]

- That was a mistake.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- This guacamole is making a guaca-melee.

♪ ♪

Family meeting!

- Is he allowed to do that?

- Look at us.

We're all sitting around throwing food at each other,

which is fun, but we're better than that.

Family is the only thing that matters.

- Tony Hawk's right.

Yesterday I got upset

because you guys had taken over my room,

so I made a simple plan and opened a premier club

and excluded you guys,

and for that, I'm sorry

because the truth is

we're already members of the most exclusive club

in town, the Loud family.

- Aww. - Aww.

- Well, that's so sweet. - Well said, Lincoln.

I wasn't done with my speech, but well said.

- How would you all like to go to a very inclusive dance party

at a place I like to call Club Loud?

[all cheering]

[tranquil music box music]

- ♪ What is love? ♪ - Look at that.

- ♪ Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more ♪

♪ What is love? ♪

[tranquil music box music]

- All the kids are getting along,

and Lily finally fell asleep.

- We really are a good team.

[knocks] - You my ride?

- Tony Hawk!

- [sighs] - Hey.

- Thanks a lot, Tony Hawk.

[dramatic music]

[tranquil music box music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ If that mockingbird hears thunder ♪

♪ Tony's gonna land you a sick ♪

Or maybe just a . Who would know the difference?

♪ ♪